The Love Doctor – Details, episodes & analysis

Today on the show, I’m talking to the host of the Rethinking Manhood podcast, Destyn Land. Destyn and I discuss men and sex. Sounds simple but when you start to layer in shame, silence, and how by grade 3 you’re already comparing penis size–it gets a lot more complicated. I first saw Destyn’s work when a friend shared one of his posts on Instagram. It was a beautiful piece about men and how society has created this pressure to prove how “straight” you are. This could be by catcalling women or making homophobic comments. Destyn’s posts are always thoughtful, well researched and when I found out he had a podcast, I just had to listen.

Resources from the Show

Destyn Land: @destynforgreatness

Rethinking Manhood Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/3bQw3DWTRuCmlGXFvYrVya?si=c26149d4a7474d36

Instagram: @rethinkingmanhood 

Boys and Sex by Peggy Orenstein: https://www.peggyorenstein.com/boysandsex

Euphoria on Crave

Heartstopper on Netflix and Comics

Bi-erasure definition: https://www.glaad.org/bisexual

The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love by bell hooks

Today on the show, I have brought back a crowd favourite—my husband, Levi Hildebrand. Levi and I talk about our experience of using Fertility Awareness Method over the past 8 months and the impact not being on birth control has had on our sex life. We also do a bit of a deep dive on masculinity and how just now Levi feels like he is choosing what that means for himself.

Resources from the show! 

Levi Hildebrand Instagram: @levihildebrand 

Levi and Leah YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/LeviHildebrand 

Boys and Sex by Peggy Orenstein: https://www.peggyorenstein.com/boysandsex

Come As You Are by Dr. Emily Nagoski : https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/22609341-come-as-you-are

Welcome to Season 3! Today on the show, I’m answering your questions about IUDs, libido, and cramping–are they all related? Are they happening because of the IUD? I also share my interview with Dallas Barnes where we do a deep dive on contraception methods. In particular, we answer your questions about what it’s like after having an IUD removed, our initial journeys with fertility awareness methods and addressing the pros and cons of hormonal versus non-hormonal birth control. 

BEDucated Link: http://beducate.me/thelovedoctor

Coupon Code: LOVEDOCTOR

Resources from the Show!

Dallas Barnes @reyahealth

Reya Health: https://www.reyahealth.ca/

Options for Sexual Health Contraception Guide: https://www.optionsforsexualhealth.org/facts/birth-control/methods/iud/#1550008055259-d77f52cd-09ee4323-f0d5

Debunking Desire: https://www.debunkingdesire.com/

A Survey of Young Women’s Perceptions of the Influence of the Levonorgestrel-Intrauterine System or Copper-Intrauterine Device on Sexual Desire: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31395237/

The Sexual Acceptability of Intrauterine Contraception: A Qualitative Study of Young Adult Women: https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1363/47e4515?sid=nlm%3Apubmed

Counseling about IUDs: A Mixed-Methods Analysis: https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1363/46e0814

Association of Short-term Bleeding and Cramping Patterns with Long-Acting Reversible Contraceptive Method Satisfaction: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4275360/

In The Flo book by Alyssa Vitti: https://intheflobook.com/

Today on the show, I’m answering your questions that I received on Instagram about why I got my IUD taken out, what it’s like having a period again after 11 years, and how my body is adjusting to not being on birth control. This is also the last episode of Season 2!! As we prepare for Season 3 coming out in the new year, what topics do you want me to cover? Are there some amazing guests I need to have on? Let me know!

Resources from the Show

Instagram Post: @dr.leahtidey 

Website: www.leahtidey.com 

Email: [email protected] 

We Had a Bit of a Whoopsie YouTube Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2KtkYO5LBo&ab_channel=Levi%26Leah

Island Sexual Health: https://www.islandsexualhealth.org/

IUD Fact Sheet at Options for Sexual Health: https://www.optionsforsexualhealth.org/facts/birth-control/methods/iud/

A Qualitative Study of Young Women's Beliefs About Intrauterine Devices: Fear of Infertility: https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/jmwh.12425

Your IUD May Last Longer Than Your Doctor is Telling You (feat. Dr. Jen Gunter): https://www.insider.com/mirena-lasts-7-years-paragard-lasts-12-years-iud-2017-5

Do menstrual cups increase risk of IUD expulsion? A survey of self-reported IUD and menstrual hygiene product use in the United States: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31335218/

Emergency Contraception Fact Sheet: https://www.optionsforsexualhealth.org/facts/emergency-contraception/

Pregnancy Testing: https://www.optionsforsexualhealth.org/facts/pregnancy/testing/

Why Male Birth Control Doesn’t Exist Episode with Dallas Barnes:

Cycle Awareness with Crystal Kennings:

Crystal Kennings YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/CrystalKennings

Read Your Body App: https://www.readyourbody.info/

The Body Agency (Ovulation Kit, Menstrual Cups, Vulva Puppets, etc.): https://www.thebodyagency.com/

Menstrual Cup Info: https://putacupinit.com/

Alida’s Comment: 

Ooh not sure how to phrase any of this as a question, but I was really devastated after I got my IUD and found out there were side effects I wasn’t informed could happen. I also felt like I was really pushed to get an IUD after I had a pregnancy scare, I think that’s always an interesting topic re: any kind of birth control. How people (mainly women) are pushed really hard to do it and are told that they are irresponsible if they are hesitant for whatever reason no matter how legitimate the reason for hesitation may be - almost as if an unplanned pregnancy is still a symbol of personal moral failure after all these years.

I also had terrible experiences with my insertion, very clear to me that the doctor was not at all trauma informed or aware of how triggering cervical pain can be for assault survivors.

I’ve been reflecting a lot recently on how people with vulvas (at least in my experience) are taught from an young age to just expect discomfort with pelvic health care or anything vulva related (eg. that periods are bad, tampons hurt at first, that pap smears are something to dread) and how that...

Today on the show, I’m answering your questions about accessing inclusive sexual health care and what to do if your doctor has very different values than you. Like will they still offer you an IUD if you’re single and queer? I also interview social media personality and YouTuber, Rachel Leary. We talk about what it’s like sharing your life online as a woman, the struggles of trying to date as an influencer, and what she has learned about sexual health from starting her own podcast, Rated R with Rach Leary.

Resources from the Show!

Rachel Leary

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/rachelleary6

Instagram: @rachleary 

Podcast: @ratedrpodcast 

My interview on Rachel’s Podcast! https://open.spotify.com/episode/73GtlRnok3dyVkUpBtUqhh?si=63013ec67e884923

Dan Savage Revolutionized Sex. Then the Revolution Came for Him: https://slate.com/human-interest/2021/09/dan-savage-advice-savage-love-criticism-interview.html

@decolonizemyself 

@zapatistarising 

‘One-size doesn’t fit all’: Understanding healthcare practitioners’ perceptions, attitudes and behaviours towards sexual and reproductive health and rights in low resource settings’: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7316327/

How to Talk To With Your Doctor about Sex: https://www.healthgrades.com/right-care/sexual-health/how-to-talk-with-your-doctor-about-sex

Online STI Testing:https://getcheckedonline.com/Pages/default.aspx

Today on the show, we are switching things up by bringing on my husband and business partner, Levi Hildebrand, to answer your questions about jealousy and TikTok, coming out to your partner after 11 years of marriage, and setting boundaries before your first sexual experience with someone. Like, is asking someone whether or not they’d get an abortion crossing a line or is it just strong communication? We also talk about the evolution of our relationship, some of our learning from the world of ethical non-monogamy and what it’s really like being married to a sexual health educator.

Resources from the Show!

Levi & Leah YouTube Channel:

https://www.youtube.com/c/LeviHildebrand

Instagram: @dr.leahtidey and @levi_hildebrand

Pokemon Evolution Database: https://pokemondb.net/evolution

Big Mouth Has Nailed It’s Raunchy Limits in Season 5: https://decider.com/2021/11/05/big-mouth-season-5-leah/

Sexual Debut versus ‘Virginity”: https://nypost.com/2021/09/24/woke-writer-attacks-the-word-virginity-suggests-sexual-debut/

FAQ: The Abortion Pill Mifegymiso: https://www.actioncanadashr.org/resources/factsheets-guidelines/2019-04-06-faq-abortion-pill-mifegymiso

How To Access A Safe, Self-Managed Medical Abortion:  https://www.scarleteen.com/article/pregnancy_and_parenting_sexual_health/how_to_access_a_safe_selfmanaged_medical_abortion

Options for Sexual Health (Including Referrals for Pregnancy and Abortion Care): https://www.optionsforsexualhealth.org/

Today on the show, I’m answering your questions about queer representation in the media and how to maintain independence in a relationship. As someone who literally works 10 feet away from their partner all day, it’s something I have thought about a lot! 

I also share my interview with the one and only, Joan Price. This 78 year old Senior Sexpert - by the way, happy birthday Joan! - spends her time talking out loud about senior sex. We talk about the myths that people have about sexuality and aging, share advice on how to navigate conversations with new sexual partners, and how humour is essential to great sex.

Resources from the Show!

Find Joan and her books, webinars, and blog at https://joanprice.com.

Naked at Our Age with Joan Price Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/JoanPriceAuthor/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/JoanPrice

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thejoanprice/ 

View Joan Price Talks Out Loud About Senior Sex

Author of award-winning books Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex and Sex after Grief: Navigating Your Sexuality after Losing Your Beloved.

Co-creator of “jessica drake's Guide to Wicked Sex: Senior Sex,” winner 2019 AV award, AASECT (American Assn. of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists)

Resident Senior Sexpert for Hot Octopuss Senior Sex Hub

For senior sex news and views, subscribe to my newsletter: http://eepurl.com/cx2Nab.

The Pervasive Reality of Anti-Black Racism in Canada: https://www.bcg.com/en-ca/publications/2020/reality-of-anti-black-racism-in-canada

Bill 2 is “the most transphobic bill ever proposed in Quebec” activist says: prohttps://montrealgazette.com/news/local-news/bill-2-is-the-most-transphobic-bill-ever-proposed-in-quebec-activist-says

Petition: Withdrawal of Certain Sections of Bill 2:  https://www.assnat.qc.ca/en/exprimez-votre-opinion/petition/Petition-9319/index.html

Reality TV and Queer Identities: https://link.springer.com/book/10.1007%2F978-3-030-14215-5

But How Many Are We? LGBTQ+ Stats and Stigmas: https://yr.media/identity/but-how-many-are-we-lgbtq-stats-and-stigmas/

LGBTQ Stats: https://www.lgbtqstats.org/about

Today on the show, I’m answering your questions about jealousy and what to do if you’re feeling insecure about your partner watching porn. I also share my interview with Dr. Amy C. Moors where we debunk some major myths about consensual non-monogamy. Like how many people are doing it? And is everyone jealous all the time?! Amy shares the most up to date research and practical advice on how to navigate romantic relationships, monogamous or non-monogamous.

References from the show! 

Dr. Amy C Moors: [email protected]

website: www.amycmoors.com

Perceived Effects of Pornography on the Couple Relationship: https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10508-016-0783-6

Polyamory is more common than you think: https://www.publichealthpost.org/research/polyamory/

Prevalence of previous engagement in consensual non-monogamy: https://www.amycmoors.com/publications/prevalence-of-experiences-with-consensual-nonmonogamous-relationships

Prevalence of the ideal type of relationship: https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/10.1080/00224499.2019.1580667

Comparisons of relationship quality among people engaged in consensual non-monogamy and monogamy: https://www.amycmoors.com/publications/the-investigation-of-consensually-non-monogamous-relationships

New language people create to describe "jealousy": https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1363460706069987?casa_token=L7A3je_LtVAAAAAA:65czk8sF5lUr9AHgAADj4qkPbVENdnq78MFEGoLgbkGvYcvD_xPbNwe2G5_eHCXJCnlbkAjYXuE5Woo

Safer sex practices among people engaged in consensual non-monogamy and ostensible monogamy: https://www.amycmoors.com/publications/unfaithful-individuals-are-less-likely-to-practice-safer-sex

STI rates among people engaged in consensual non-monogamy and monogamy: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1743609515344222

Willow Smith Opens Up About Being Polyamorous: https://www.bbc.com/news/newsbeat-56852099

State of Affairs by Esther Perel

Polysecure by Jessica Fern

Opening Up by Tristan Taomino

Today on the show, I’m answering your questions about whether gay men can donate blood here in Canada  and how to feel like you’re part of the LGBTQ2S+ community as a bisexual. I also share my interview with the Halal Sexpert, Dr. Shaakira Abdullah. We talk about the workshops she teaches, such as Get Cliterate and What That Mouth Do? Oral sex, Fellatio, and foreplay, and if there is space in the sexual health world for educators from very different perspectives.

Resources from the Show! 

Dr. Shaakira Abdullah: ​​https://linktr.ee/thehalalsexpert 

https://the-halal-sexpert.myshopify.com

Instagram @thehalalsexpert

Where To Get A Vulva Puppet: https://www.thebodyagency.com/collections/all-products

LEAH10 for 10% everything on the Body Agency’s website

Understanding general population impact and opportunities from changes to blood donation deferral screening and criteria for men who have sex with men: https://www.blood.ca/en/research/understanding-general-population-impact-and-opportunities-changes-blood-donation-0

About Men Who Have Sex With Men: Why We Talk About This Screening Criterion

https://www.blood.ca/en/blood/am-i-eligible-donate-blood/about-msm

Legality of Eligibility to Donate Blood: https://www.tcwalkerlawyers.com/legality-of-eligibility-requirements-to-donate-blood/

Men Who Have Sex With Men: https://www.blood.co.uk/who-can-give-blood/men-who-have-sex-with-men/

How To Be A Bisexual+ Ally By Challenging these Bi+ Myths Everyday 

https://www.forbes.com/sites/jamiewareham/2020/09/16/how-to-be-a-bisexual-lgbtq-ally-and-challenge-these-top-bi-myths-everyday/?sh=704e970f10ea

Scarleteen Website: www.Scarleteen.org

Today on the show, I’m answering your questions about whether folks with vulvas mature more quickly than folks with penises and how what we’re watching on Netflix is impacting how we behave in the bedroom. I also share my interview with author, activist, and therapist, Farzana Doctor. Farzana and I talk about her new book Seven and how fiction is a powerful tool to address taboo topics in a pleasurable yet impactful way. In particular, we discuss khatna, a form of female genital mutilation (FGM) and what we can do to raise the profile to end its practice.

Resources from the Show!

Farzana Doctor: https://linktr.ee/farzanadoctor

Instagram: @farzanadoctor 

Seven promo code for Canadians at www.dundurn.com with code DOCTOR25

End FGM Canada Network: https://www.endfgm.ca/

Dear Maasi: https://sahiyo.com/2020/09/13/dear-maasi-a-new-sex-and-relationship-column-for-survivors-of-female-genital-cutting/

The Practice of Khatna or Female Genital Mutilation Amongst the Dawoodi (Daudi) Bohra Shia Muslim Community: https://sahiyo.com/2016/01/19/the-practice-of-khatna-or-female-genital-mutilation-amongst-the-dawoodi-daudi-bohra-shia-muslim-community-part-1/

World Health Organization Key Facts about FGM: https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/female-genital-mutilation

The Lost and Lonely Clitoris: Why Can So Few People Find It?: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/may/31/the-lost-and-lonely-clitoris-why-can-so-few-people-find-it

Labia Liberation: The Movement to End Vulva Anxiety for Good: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/sep/13/labia-liberation-the-movement-to-end-vulva-anxiety-for-good

The Vulva Gallery: https://www.thevulvagallery.com/the-vulva-gallery

Ida Applebroog Monalisa (vulva drawings) ​​https://www.hauserwirth.com/publications/9351-ida-applebroog-monalisa

How TikTok is Reclaiming Outer Labia in a Humorous and Non-Judgemental Way: ​​https://www.refinery29.com/en-gb/2021/08/10638396/tiktok-female-body-confidence-labia

Meat Curtains by @ella.watkins on TikTok

S.E.X. The All-You-Need-To-Know Sexuality Guide to Get You Through Your Teens and Twenties by Heather Corinna 

Science Explains Why Women Are Faster To Mature Than Men: https://www.mic.com/articles/111226/science-explains-why-women-are-faster-to-mature-than-men