Explore every episode of the podcast The Look & Sound of Leadership

Dive into the complete episode list for The Look & Sound of Leadership. Each episode is cataloged with detailed descriptions, making it easy to find and explore specific topics. Keep track of all episodes from your favorite podcast and never miss a moment of insightful content.

	Title	Pub. Date	Duration
	How to Rehearse Without Sounding Rehearsed	05 Nov 2026	00:22:26
A corporate leader, wanting to grow into the next level of presenting, asks her coach how she should think about her rehearsal time in order to get the most out of it. Don’t rehearse to memorize and recite. Instead, imagine yourself as the ski guide in Tom’s analogy. Own the mountain and you’ll only need to remember the banners. Tom’s six tools for supercharging your rehearsals: Imagine that “sounding rehearsed” means knowing your material so well you can say it any number of ways. Rehearse in chunks. Don’t rehearse to repeat and recite. Rehearse with the intention of saying it differently from your last rehearsal. Build muscle. Commit to rehearsal time. Put it on your calendar. Make it part of your work. Be sure you know how long you’re expected to speak. Then rehearse with a watch and make sure you keep your side of the agreement. Drill your opening until you can do it without thinking. It will allow you to start strong. Explain your ideas. Why is this idea important? Why are you telling it to us? Your answers may help clarify ideas. Two PDFs from our tools bin can help improve your rehearsals: Before You Write Your Presentation and Sorting & Labeling If you’re looking to deepen your presentation skills, three categories in the podcast library have episodes that will help: Communication Skills Executive Presence Presentation Skills Five specific episodes you might listen to are: #137Executive Presenting #230How to Command a Room #254How to Talk So People Understand You (This is Sorting & Labeling!) #214How to Turn Data into Stories #160Prepping like a TED Talker If you’re ready to explore coaching, reach out to Tom here. Our monthly email always has additional resources. You can read a transcript of the episode here. Thank you all for being in touch. You are the BEST! From all of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership, all our gratitude. See you all next month!
	How to Stop Fighting at Work	01 Oct 2026	00:24:53
Two leaders in a long-running feud both want the fighting to stop but cannot find their way to peace. Their coach gives them each homework to quiet the ill intent they ascribe to the other, allowing respect to emerge. It’s hard to stop fighting with a person who feels like sour milk. Tom’s three steps to help stop a fight are: Self-awareness – how are you contributing to keeping the fight going Choose a different mindset – stop justifying your anger Self-Management – choose new behavior If you want to work on SELF-AWARENESS, you might listen to: # 204 Blind Spots # 209 How to Build Self-Awareness # 103 Self-Awareness & Self-Management # 190 Thinking Errors If you want to more tools to STOP FIGHTING, you might listen to: # 221 Conflict # 222 The Conflict Conversation # 235 The Conflict Resolution Wheel # 189 “Don’t Take Anything Personally” # 260 How to Guarantee Psychological Safety If you’re curious about coaching, reach out to Tom here. Our monthly email always has additional resources. A transcript of the episode is here. It’s always wonderful to hear from you. Thanks for being such a great audience. Everyone here at The Look & Sound of Leadership is enormously grateful for you! Until next month, be well!
	How to Deal with Difficult People	03 Sep 2026	00:28:01
A highly effective leader finds herself in the middle of a terrible mess, not of her own making. When her coach marvels at her ability to stay calm amidst the chaos, she shares a lesson she learned from her dad. Tools and concepts in this episode: “People are doing their best” embodies acceptance, and acceptance creates better outcomes. Quiet cycles of doubt by: Clarify what exactly are you upset about; Identify what you feel about having those feelings; Decide what action you want to take. Listen to the stories you tell yourself. If you hear villains and victims, are most likely ascribing bad intent. Don’t make up stories that create adversaries. In addition to the tools discussed during this episode, Tom also talks about: “Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High.” Conversations with Coaches – Episode #184 Executive Coaching Special Interest Group The Feeling Word Grid This episode is tagged in three categories in the Podcast Library: Managing Yourself Perception – How You Perceive Yourself Self-Talk Five episodes to help you command a room: 109 - Building Emotional Intelligence 246 - Coaching versus Therapy 152 - Combating Emotional Hijacks 189 - “Don’t Take Anything Personally” 263 - Leading When Ego at the Top is Unchecked All our free infographics are in the Essential Tools bin. Your reviews supporting the show help us continue as an ad-free podcast. Let us know how we can support you. Until next month, be well! Thanks from Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team.
	Overcoming the Barriers of Leadership	06 Aug 2026	00:20:54
A chief officer reflects on the burdens of senior leadership. While grateful for its privileges, he’s keenly aware his title can put up barriers between himself and others. Typical burdens of leadership: People put up barriers because of your power; You are a public figure and will get judged, often harshly; You are always on display; Feeling entitled because of your heavy lifting. Tom suggests three tips to help you manage your power: Get conscious about your power; Share selectively; Be humble. Resources for humilty: Humility as Strength Humble Inquiry If you’re like Michelle and feel yourself being star struck in the face of corporate celebrity, these episodes might help: 252 - How to Build Self-Esteem 219 - How to Set Boundaries 241 - Conquering People Pleasing JOIN US FOR DINNER! Tuesday, September 1, 2026, Irvine, California. Join Tom and Coaching for Leaders host Dave Stachowiak for a lively gathering. Find out more and reserve your space here. Got questions? Shoot Tom an email here. Sign up for our monthly resources here. Want to explore Leadership & Power? Related Library Categories: Leadership Managing Yourself Perception – How You’re Perceived Related Episodes 189 - “Don’t Take Anything Personally” 128 - The Honorable Executive 252 - How to Build Self-Esteem 210 - How to Grow Your Self-Management 231 - Staying Afloat in a Shitstorm A transcript of this month’s episode is here. Thanks for being in touch! All of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership are grateful for you!
	The Three Elements of Effective Delegation	09 Jul 2026	00:23:22
With her company on the brink of disaster, a leader hungrily tackles the art of delegation, learning three models on the way. The episode frames delegation as being primarily about getting your people ready. To get people ready, screen each delegated task against three filters: Skills & Will – do people need training or coaching? Control – who has it and how much? Measurement – what is each person’s responsibility? Our latest Tool has all three filters. Download it for free here. Want to strengthen your ability to talk with people about their growth and development? Listen to these episodes: #262 – How to Grow Your People – December 2025 #212 – How to Coach Your People – October 2021 #132 – Coaching Your People – April 2015 Ready to try the Responsibility Charting exercise with your team? Listen to the episode here. Download the Charting tool here. Curious about coaching? Reach out to Tom here. Our monthly email always has additional resources. Related Library Categories: Leadership Management Skills Communication Skills Related Episodes 132 - Coaching Your People 119 - Creating Devoted Followers 254 How to Talk so People Understand You 155 - The Human Element 123 - Leadership Through Delegation A transcript of the episode is here. We love hearing from you. You are the BEST AUDIENCE! The whole The Look & Sound of Leadership crew are grateful for you!
	Managing Emotions	04 Jun 2026	00:17:05
A chief officer finds himself repeatedly triggered by a peer. Afraid he’s going to say or do something he’ll regret, he asks his coach for tools. Three categories of self-regulation tools: Physical Internal External A visual tool with specific tools in each category is in our Tool bin. Ready for coaching? Reach out to Tom here. There are always more resources in our monthly email. Hear Tom’s most recent conversation on the Beyond Potential podcast here. Related Library Categories: Managing Yourself Perception – How You Perceive Yourself Self-Talk Related Episodes 216 - 7 Steps to Stop Emotional Hijacks 109 - Building Emotional Intelligence 22 - Negative Self-Talk 171 - Taming the Wild Child – one of my favorites 96 - The Many Parts of You A transcript of the episode is here. Thanks for your engagement. We love hearing from you. You all are great! All of us at The Look & Sound of Leadership, are grateful for you!
	Getting Your Voice Heard	07 May 2026	00:19:47
A brilliant but rather shy leader is challenged by her management to be bigger, more executive, speak up more. She is grateful to work with a coach. You can build muscle around getting your voice heard by creating homework for yourself. Think of it like going to the gym: working out regularly helps you build muscle. When creating homework, ask yourself three questions: What am I going to pay attention to? What specific behavior am I going to start or stop? How will I measure success? (5% improvement) During the episode, Tom gave Neela four pieces of homework to help her get her voice heard: Count the number of times you have an idea and choose not to say it out loud; Listen for your self-limiting beliefs. Look for patterns that trigger them. Who are you with? What’s the setting? In meetings, speak in the first ten minutes; In meetings, get your name “on the record” with regularity. Curious about coaching? Reach out to Tom here. There are always more resources in our monthly email. Related Library Categories: Developing New Behaviors Executive Presence For Women Related Episodes 211 - How to Show Up 153 - Inhabiting Executive Presence 69 - Leadership and Self-Deception 103 - Self-Awareness & Self-Management 154 - Self-Limiting Beliefs A transcript of the episode is here. Thanks for subscribing to the show. And thank you so much for your reviews. You’re the best! From all of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership, we are grateful for you!
	Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office	02 Apr 2026	00:25:53
Tom interviews Dr. Lois Frankel about women in the workplace and other ideas in the just-published third edition of Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office. Listen to the full, unedited conversation here. Get the “Nice Girls” book, here. If you’re curious about a chemistry call, pop Tom an email. There are always more resources in our monthly email. COACHES! You are always welcome at the Executive Coaching Special Interest Group sponsored by ICF Los Angeles. Reach out to me if you want to know more. We’d love to have you. You’ll get CCE’s, too! Related Library Categories: For Women Perception – How You Perceive Yourself Leadership Related Episodes 246Coaching versus Therapy 221Conflict 241 Conquering People Pleasing 222The Conflict Conversation 237Leading with Political Savvy – Part One A transcript of the episode is here. Thanks again for subscribing. And your reviews. You’re the best! From all of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership, thanks for being such a great audience!
	How to Conquer Nervousness	05 Mar 2026	00:23:49
Before testifying in a high-stakes case, a theorist and his coach swap horror stories about their nerves hijacking them and the lessons they learned. Tom’s top four idea for conquering nervousness: Write happy endings Celebrate incremental improvement Externalize your nasty voice Ignore your nerves Applying these techniques using our free PDF about mastering nerves. The clip of Emma Stone battling her anxiety before a global audience is here. Each month, we share additional tools in our monthly email. If you’d like to explore Private Coaching with Tom, reach out to him at: tom@essentialcomm.com. COACHES! Come join us at the Executive Coaching Special Interest Group sponsored by ICF Los Angeles. You’ll get CCE’s, too! Related Library Categories: Managing Yourself Nervousness Self-Talk Related Episodes: 71 - Act “As If” 62 - Choosing Persistence 147 - Conquering Fear 178 - The Executive Impostor 12 - Managing Nervousness Grab a free transcript of the episode here. We are so grateful for your reviews! From all of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership, thanks for being such a great audience!
	Humility as Strength	05 Feb 2026	00:25:02
A leader is getting pressured to stop being so prickly and gain some humility. With her coach, she explores whether it’s even possible for humility to ever be a strength. Core concepts in this episode: Humility is confidence without defensiveness. Assess yourself on the humility scale. “How do I respond to challenges?” Humble leaders are confident in their authority. Ask frequently: “How might I be wrong about this?” Humility requires active listening. Questions addressed in this episode: > Are humble leaders perceived as weak? Some people may see humble leaders as weak, but humble leaders are actually confident in their authority. > If humble leaders need confidence, will they be seen as arrogant? No, because humble leaders do not fight for dominance. They invite the opinions of others and are non-defensive when challenged. > How can I tell whether I am humble? Ask yourself, “When I am challenged, what feelings do I experience?” Leaders who respond non-defensively are high in humility. > What practices can I adopt to develop more humility? Ask yourself frequently: “How might I be wrong about this?" > What are the benefits to being a humble leader? Your team will experience psychological safety and move towards high performance. Resources mentioned in this episode: Humbitious: The Power of Low-Ego, High-Drive Leadership by Amer Kaissi explores how to be both ambitious and humble. Links for coaches: Join Tom and a community of coaches at the Executive Coaching Special Interest Group. The Los Angeles Chapter of International Coach Federation offers countless opportunities for CCEs and community building. If you’re in the L.A. area, join the ICF-LA March Chapter meeting. And be sure to say ‘hi’ to Tom! Register here. Each month, we share additional tools in our monthly email. If you’d like to explore Private Coaching with Tom, reach out to him at: tom@essentialcomm.com. This episode is tagged in three categories in our podcast library: Executive Presence Leadership Personal Growth & Self-Development Related Episodes: 122 - Achieving Authenticity 146 - Building Empathy 248 - Building Listening 260 - How to Guarantee Psychological Safety 232 - Unlocking Executive Presence through Emotional Intelligence Thank you so much for your reviews! From The Look & Sound of Leadership
	Leading When Ego at the Top Is Unchecked	08 Jan 2026	00:23:25
A chief officer is infuriated by the behavior of his egomaniacal CEO. With his coach, he explores how to be a healthy leader while reporting to a boss he doesn’t respect. Core concepts in this episode: Egomaniacs rattle our sense of self. They will not change. Worrying does not help. Be accountable for how you show up. Manage yourself. Don’t take anything personally. They’re just a piece on a chess board. Ask yourself: “Am I seeing this person clearly?” Don’t allow emotions to drive your actions. Ask yourself: “How do I want to show up?” You have choice about what you prioritize and how you react in the workplace. Resources mentioned in this episode: Crucial Conversations provides scripts and thoughts that will help you manage yourself when dealing with difficult people. Tom and host Dave Stachowiak discussed “How to Handle a Boss Who’s a Jerk” on this episode of Coaching for Leaders. Great tools if you have a challenging boss. Before sharing your reactions in the workplace, consider the politics around you. These two episodes will get you “Leading with Political Savvy” Parts 1 and 2. Each month, there are additional tools in our monthly email. If you’d like to explore Private Coaching, reach out to Tom. tom@essentialcomm.com. This episode is tagged in three categories in our podcast library: Managing Yourself Leadership Perception – How You Perceive Others RELATED EPISODES 239- 5 Strategies for Dealing with Narcissists 189 - “Don’t Take Anything Personally” 245- Giving Upward Feedback 114- Gravitas 133- The Narcissist Executive Thank you, thank you, thank you for your reviews! Wishing you a year of growth and development! From The Look & Sound of Leadership team, thank you so much for listening.
	How to Grow Your People	11 Dec 2025	00:23:19
A senior vice-president worries that attention on his people’s development will get overwhelmed in the volume of work. He asks his coach for tools to make the process effective and efficient. Download our free tool that maps the Three Conversations Development Plan. Core Concepts Prioritizing professional development is hard. The 3-Conversation model makes development easy for the leader and meaningful for the person. The three conversations in summary: Define ‘what,’ ‘why’ and give homework; The person reflects on the homework and how they plan to improve; Periodic check-ins about the homework. ‘What are you learning?’ The leader’s role in these conversations: Clarify the ‘what’ and ‘why’ Listen and encourage Ask, ‘What are you learning?’ You can sign-up for more resources and tools in our monthly email. If you’re thinking about coaching for yourself, or for someone on your team, let’s talk. tom@essentialcomm.com. This episode is tagged in three categories in our podcast library: Feedback Leadership Management Skills RELATED EPISODES 132 Coaching Your People 212 How to Coach Your People 258 How to Manage Defensive People 83 Leadership and Listening 206 Understanding Feedback Thanks, as always, for your reviews! Happy holidays. Until next time, thanks so much for listening. From The Look & Sound of Leadership team
	How to Motivate and Inspire	06 Nov 2025	00:20:47
After a leader turns around the performance of one of his direct reports, he and his coach explore how it happened. And how to make it stick. Core ideas in the episode: Workplaces improve when positive feedback is present Our natural human negative bias is a barrier to giving positive feedback. Learn to notice when things go well. Tell people how they are helping solve the puzzle that is work. Research says the most effective feedback ratio is 4-to-1, positive to developmental. Positive Feedback might sound like this: Recognize what’s going well – and be specific Appreciate how it’s helping solve the puzzle Express your thanks Developmental Feedback might sound like this: Describe what happened – and be specific Explain how it affects the puzzle solving effort Express your hope for a different outcome You can Sign-up for more resources and tools in our monthly email. If you’re thinking about coaching for yourself, or for someone on your team, let’s talk. tom@essentialcomm.com. This episode is tagged in three categories in our podcast library: Managing Yourself Perception – How You Perceive Others Relationship Building Related episodes to listen to are: 146 - Building Empathy 119 - Creating Devoted Followers 212 - How to Coach Your People 255 - How to Deepen Relationships at Work 260 - How to Guarantee Psychological Safety Thanks, as always, for your reviews! Until next time, thanks so much for listening. From The Look & Sound of Leadership team
	How to Guarantee Psychological Safety	02 Oct 2025	00:22:44
A toxic boss destroys psychological safety on her team. One of her direct reports talks to his coach about how to survive. And how to keep his own team safe. Core ideas in the episode: Don’t take other people’s bad behavior personally. You are not a victim. You have choice. Document repeated bad behavior. Openly discussing mistakes without blame creates safety on a team. As the leader, be willing to admit your own mistakes. Ask people: “How do you think that went?” and “What could we do differently?” Then listen without debate or rebuttal. A free infographic supports this episode. Download it here. The episode referred to about creating strong personal relationships is: #199 Personal Connections. Sign-up for monthly resources and tools in our monthly email. Curious about coaching for yourself or someone on your team? Let’s talk. tom@essentialcomm.com. COACHES! Want to see this year’s pricing survey results? Pop me an email at: tom@essentialcomm.com. And come join the Executive Coaching Special Interest Group. Check it out here. Get additional tools for keeping yourself and your team psychologically safe in our podcast library in these three categories: Assertiveness Leadership Managing Yourself Additional episodes to listen to are: 187 - Agreeable Disagreement 70 - Assertion Versus Aggression "75 - Don’t Take Anything Personally” 222- The Conflict Conversation 181 - Inviting Dialogue Your reviews help the show stay ad-free. Until next time, thanks! From The Look & Sound of Leadership team
	How to Supercharge Introversion	11 Sep 2025	00:23:50
Concerned his introversion makes him less effective, a corporate vice president asks for coaching – from an extrovert! Together, the coach and client explore ways to assure his introversion is a strength. Myers Briggs Type Indicator assesses four preferences. One is Introversion and Extroversion. Download a free sample of the profile report here. The six tools unpacked in this episode are: Manage your energy Monitor your self-talk Have ideas ready Manage your calendar Share comfortably about yourself Develop both your thoughts and your skills Listen to Tom’s conversation with Tom & Tom on the Beyond Podcast episode. Learn “How to Make Small Talk with Executives” on the Coaching for Leaders podcast. Curious about coaching? Shoot me an email. tom@essentialcomm.com. Visiting the website? Sign-up for tools and resources in our monthly email. Help yourself to our free infographics in the Essential Tools bin. Get more support for supercharging your introversion in our podcast library in these three categories: Managing Yourself Self-Talk Social Skills Additional episodes you could listen to are: 241 - Conquering People Pleasing 210 - How to Grow Your Self-Management 211 - How to Show Up as More of Yourself 254 - How to Talk so People Understand You 247 - Mastering Anxiety Your reviews help the show stay ad-free. So? Were these tools about introversion helpful? Let me know! Until next time, thanks! From The Look & Sound of Leadership team
	How to Manage Defensive People	07 Aug 2025	00:28:24
A leader with a direct report who is, she says, the most defensive person she’s ever known, devotes an entire coaching session to gathering tools to help her cope. All the tools and ideas and scripts in this episode are in an easy-to-understand infographic. Download it for free here. To work on “deserving” dive into The Four Agreements. Dig into more tools for managing defensive people in our podcast library in these three categories: Communication Skills Management Skills Relationship Building Additional episodes you could listen to are: 216 - 7 Steps to Stop Emotional Hijacks 60 - Be Impeccable with Your Word 35 - Handling Defensive Behaviors 173 - Managing Bad Behavior 138 - Managing Disruptive Executives 198 - Psychological Safety Additional tools and resources are in our monthly email. Sign up here. Curious about coaching? Shoot me an email. tom@essentialcomm.com. All our free infographics are in the Essential Tools bin. Your reviews help the show continue as an ad-free podcast. Let us know how we can support you. Until next time, thanks! From The Look & Sound of Leadership team
	How to Own Healthy Assertion	10 Jul 2025	00:22:13
Still traumatized over an angry explosion she’d aimed at an abusive leader years before, a leader asks her coach to help her access healthy assertion to use during moments of conflict. Where are you on the assertion scale? Our assessments will tell you. In the episode, ASSERTION got divided into two skills: AWARENESS and EXPRESSION. The four-step script to build healthy ASSERTION is: Situation Feeling Want Outcome Part of assertion is EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE. Our tool defines EQ and gives exercises. Download it here. “Unlocking Executive Presence Through Emotional Intelligence” Episode 232. The concept explained and tools provided. Download “The Feeling Word Grid” here. Ready for an amazing growth experience? Explore Brené Brown’s Dare to Lead course. Often recommended. Always helpful. Crucial Conversations. More tools in the ASSERTIVENESS category in the archive. Episodes with assertiveness tools: 220 - Holding Boundaries 219 - How to Set Boundaries 210 - How to Grow Your Self-Management 86 - Intimacy in Business: Setting Boundaries 198 - Psychological Safety Considering coaching? Talk with Tom. Send him an email here. Additional resources are in our monthly email. Sign up here. Until next time! Thanks! from The Look & Sound of Leadership team
	How to Create Engagement Online	05 Jun 2025	00:20:36
Convinced that participants need to engage in order to learn, a leader is discouraged after the cheerless rollout of her online learning program. She turns to her coach for help facilitating virtual groups. Tools in this episode: Tone-setting at the opening: Get people engaged by using the chat to think together; Get people engaged by thinking about how they will show up (ground rules); Ask: “How engaged do you want to be?” Rank 1 – 7 in chat. (#3 came from Michael Bungay Stanier who wrote The Coaching Habit and hosts the Change Signal podcast. Much gratitude!) Three facilitation skills: Use learning questions; Redirect; don’t be the hub; Activate your deadpan. All our infographics are available for free in our Tools Bin. Help yourself. Tom’s most recent conversation with Dave Stachowiak on Coaching for Leaders explored How to Take Initiative. A lively, thought-provoking episode. Coaches! Join us at ICF Los Angeles’s Executive Coaching Special Interest Group. Check us out on the ICF-LA website, then come join us! Categories in the archive to explore for more ideas about deepening relationships: Communication Skills Leading Teams Episodes with more tools for engagement: 141 - High-Stakes Meetings 253 - How to Answer Questions Powerfully 213 - How to Re-engage a Team 34 - Keeping Repeated Material Fresh 175 - Leading Offsites 143 - Powerful Tools for Team: Plus / Delta 148 - Taming Meetings Are you coach curious? Talk with Tom. Send him an email here. Additional resources are in our monthly email. Sign up here. Until next time! From The Look & Sound of Leadership team
	How to Deepen Relationships at Work	06 May 2025	00:26:33
Knowing she’s never been good with people, a leader seeks coaching to her deepen relationships in ways she can tolerate. Two ways to deepen workplace relationships: Matching & Curiosity 4 Ways to Match: Match Purpose Match Energy Match Conversations Match Vulnerability Express Curiosity by Asking Deep Questions Make sure your questions are open-ended Invite reflection Keep the other person talking Answering questions powerfully is another way to deepen relationships. Check out our recent episode on that topic. Deepen relationships at work by listening to Dave Stachowiak’s conversation on Coaching For Leaders with Charles Duhigg about his book Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection. Recently, Tom joined Dave on Coaching for Leaders to explore How to Take Initiative. A lively, thought-provoking episode. Coaches! Join us at ICF Los Angeles’s Executive Coaching Special Interest Group. Check us out on the ICF-LA website. Categories in the archive to explore for more ideas about deepening relationships: Communication Skills Building Relationships Managing Yourself Five episodes that’ll help you get deeper: Building Empathy Building Listening Building Rapport Influence The Conflict Conversation Are you ready to invest in yourself? We offer listeners world-class coaching at an affordable price. Reach out to Tom here. Transcripts of every episode, including this one, are available for free here. More resources are in our monthly email. Sign up here. Until next time! From The Look & Sound of Leadership team
	How to Talk so People Understand You	03 Apr 2025	00:23:07
A leader is losing credibility with her senior leaders. Her boss thinks she can turn it around by learning the sorting tool that transformed him as a communicator, so he brings in the coach who taught him. Sorting & Labeling! The grandaddy of all communication tools. If you can sort and label you will sound like a leader. The four steps in Sorting & Labeling: Use a headline Use a number Label each number Transition with clarity See it all for yourself in our free Sorting & Labeling infographic. To all women who work in social or environmental change: Women’s Impact Alliance wants to support you. Check out their website to see all they ways they can help you succeed. Coaches! Come join our Executive Coaching Special Interest Group. Check us out on the ICF-LA website. Categories of episodes that have more ways to help you talk so people understand you: Communication Skills Leading Teams Presentation Skills Five episodes that’ll speed you down the path: 106 - Communicating with Clarity 253 - How to Answer Questions Powerfully 65 - Sorting & Labeling 16 - Sounding Well-Spoken 20 - Staying on Track Curious about coaching for yourself? We offer a special program for listeners. Reach out to Tom here. Transcripts of this and every episode are available for free here. More resources are in our monthly email. Sign up here! Until next time! From The Look & Sound of Leadership team
	How to Answer Questions Powerfully	06 Mar 2025	00:22:54
A leader was given one goal for his coaching: improve how he answered questions. Knowing he struggled with this not only at work, but at home, he asked his coach for tools. Our free PDF shows the two scripts: one for closed-ended questions, one for open-ended. Download it here. Don’t assume you know why people ask what they ask. You don’t. Ever. The closed-ended script: Answer what’s asked Match Length Check for understanding Then add your details No mattress stuffing! It’s a customer service exchange. The open-ended script: Start with a number Label the first item Explain in brief Make the leap. Start with a number. It’ll be okay. When you know things, use this script. You will sound expert. The open-ended script is a variation of the Sorting & Labeling tool. Download the PDF and listen to the episode. CALLING ALL COACHES! Come join ICF-LA’s Executive Coaching Special Interest Group. We’d love to see you. Check us out here. Related categories in the library: Communication Skills Leadership Perception – How Others Perceive You Five related episodes: 215 - How to Stay Calm Under Fire 249 - How to Tackle Overtalking 159 - Short Sounds Confident 185 - The Talky Executive 151 - Under Executive Questioning Have ideas about how “The Look & Sound of Leadership” might grow and evolve? Share your ideas with Tom here. Transcripts of this and every episode are available for free here. Our monthly email, with resources you don’t hear about on the show. Subscribe here! Wishing you spring freshness, From The Look & Sound of Leadership team
	How to Build Self-Esteem	06 Feb 2025	00:24:04
A leader suddenly hears how harshly she speaks to herself. Wanting help, she turns to her coach who gives her tools to build a practice of self-esteem. The three self-esteem practices are: Self-Acceptance: Practice being FOR yourself Self-Worth & Happiness: Practice saying, “I am worthy of being happy” Live in Reality: Practice acknowledging what is and what is not. Download our free Feeling Words Grid. The Tools bin with other free resources is here. Four ways to help you live in reality: Respect facts Respect facts about yourself Interpretations are not facts Feelings are not facts Nathaniel Branden’s “The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem” is still a definitive work. Check out the 31-week sentence completion exercise in the back. Related categories in the library: Managing Yourself Perception – How You Perceive Yourself Self-Talk Five related episodes: 241 - Conquering People Pleasing 209 - How to Build Self-Awareness 224 - How to Disarm a Trigger 242 - Mastering Nerves 231 - Staying Afloat in a Shitstorm Curious about coaching? Reach out to Tom here. Free transcripts of this and every episode are available here. Our monthly email – finally easy to subscribe to! Click here! CALLING ALL COACHES! Join us at the Executive Coaching Special Interest Group. We meet six times a year. Our first meeting in 2025 is Friday, February 14th, 9:00 am Pacific. 2025 Meeting Dates February 14 April 11 June 13 August 8 September 12 November 14 Fridays, 9:00 – 10:30am Pacific Sponsored by ICF-LA Stay safe, everyone. From The Look & Sound of Leadership team
	How to Build an Executive	09 Jan 2025	00:26:12
A coaching client wonders what elements need to be present for someone to appear ‘executive.’ Two executive coaches ponder this question and come up with five elements they deem essential. Categories in the archive to explore: Developing New Behaviors Executive Presence Perception – How You’re Perceived Six episodes to dive into: 189 - Don’t Take Anything Personally 178 - Executive Presence – Three Pillars 168 - Influence 108 - Shouldering the Burden of Leadership 23 - Speed of Thought Download the Six Books for Growth here. Listen to “The Show Must Go On” episode, about a real-life on-stage catastrophe. Curious about coaching? Reach out to Tom here. Free transcripts of this and every episode are available here. More resources are available in our monthly Essential News email. Sign up here. FOR COACHES: Michael Lewis’s podcast, “Against the Rules,” devotes its second season (2020) to all different types of coaching. Join us at the Executive Coaching Special Interest Group. We meet six times a year. Our first meeting in 2025 is Friday, February 14th, 9:00 am Pacific. 2025 Meeting Dates Fridays, 9:00 – 10:30am Pacific February 14 April 11 June 13 August 8 September 12 November 14 Sponsored by ICF-LA Wishing us all compassion and grace in 2025. From The Look & Sound of Leadership team
	How to Answer “Tell Us About Yourself”	05 Dec 2024	00:20:41
A senior leader, upset about having flubbed her reply to ‘Tell us about yourself’ during a high-stakes interview, talks with her coach about how to prepare for what she considers to be an incredibly stupid question. Categories in the archive to explore: Communication Skills Executive Presence Presentation Skills Six episodes to dive into: 34 - Keeping Repeated Materials Fresh 77 - The Power of Rehearsal 65 - Sorting & Labeling 180 - Becoming Expert 114 - Gravitas 124 - Personal Branding For help Sorting & Labeling, download the PDF. For help finding your three words, use our Needs & Values assessment. For a new way of thinking about interviewing: Interviewology, The New Science of Interviewing.” For career guidance, Michele Calderigi, head of Next Career, is a seasoned counselor. Lois Frankel’s Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office remains a favorite among senior women in the workplace. Curious about coaching? Reach out to Tom here. Free transcripts of this and every episode are available here. More resources are available in our monthly Essential News email. Sign up here. Safe and sane holidays, everyone! from The Look & Sound of Leadership team
	How to Tackle Overtalking	07 Nov 2024	00:22:11
A chief officer had known for years he was an over talker. His CEO, desperate for improvement, gave him a coach. This episode highlights their first coaching conversation. Two mindsets from this episode: When you speak, have a destination in mind. Ask yourself: “What is my point exactly?” and “Why is this something they need to know?” Pay attention to your listeners. Respond to their interests. Ask yourself: “Does what I’m talking about right now help us get to the destination?” If not, skip it. It doesn’t matter why you overtalk. Overtalking is limiting. Build your awareness of when you do it. Learn to ‘hear’ the communications you have. Who talked how long? What were the smaller conversations within the larger communication? More tools to build your self-awareness and communication skills can be found in the Essential Communications bin and in the archive of all 16 years of the show. Build awareness browsing these categories: Self-Management Perception – How You Perceive Yourself Develop your communication skills in this category: Communication Skills Five Episodes to help your skills are: 53 - Answer What’s Asked 65 - Sorting & Labeling 20 - Staying on Track 11 - Sounding Executive 16 - Sounding Well-Spoken “Think Fast Talk Smart” podcast with Matt Abrahams. Great tools to help you be a better communicator. Curious about coaching? Reach out to Tom here. Free transcripts of this and every episode are available here. More resources are available in our monthly Essential News email. Sign up here. Coaches! Download the results of ICF-LA’s pricing survey here. Be safe, everyone! The Look & Sound of Leadership team
	Building Listening	03 Oct 2024	00:22:53
A vice-president gets kudos for likability but knocks for her inability to listen. With her coach, she talks about listening repeatedly. This episode features one of those conversations. The 3 listening mindsets: Listen to learn Feelings are natural Stay separate Download the free multi-page learning tool about listening here. This episode is tagged in three categories in our podcast archive: Communication Skills Managing Yourself Relationship Building Five episodes you might listen to are: 136 - A Breakdown of Listening 83 - Leadership and Listening 10 - Listen Without An Agenda 229 - The Sound of Leadership & Management - 2023 232 - Unlocking Executive Presence through Emotional Intelligence Coaches! Download the pricing survey here. Join us at the Executive Coaching Special Interest Group. We welcome coaches at every stage of development. Check us out here: If you’re curious about coaching, reach out to Tom here. Free transcripts of this and every episode are available here. More resources are available in our monthly Essential News email. Sign up here. To all of you, from all of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership, much gratitude!
	Mastering Anxiety	05 Sep 2024	00:18:41
Battling perfectionism and anxiety, a leader asks her coach for help and learns a tool that helps her tame her terrors. This episode dovetails with many ideas in last month’s episode about Coaching versus Therapy. Tom talks about his own bout with anxiety and a near career-ending attack of nervousness in this episode from April. https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/mastering-nerves/ Pixar’s Inside Out 2 has a powerful depiction of a 13-year-old girl suffering a full-blown anxiety attack. The experience and its aftermath is moving. MindShift CBT is a free app designed to help you take charge of your anxiety and develop more effective ways of thinking. Watch the introductory video Dr. Steven Melemis, a mood disorder expert, wrote I Want to Change My Life, filled with practical exercises and a one-month step-by-step plan to start you on a road to transformation. In under two minutes, Tom shared a “golden nugget” on the “How to Survive and Thrive Podcast.” You can hear it here. This episode is tagged in three categories in our podcast archive: For Women Personal Growth & Self-Development Self-Talk Five episodes with more tools to help you master anxiety are: #52 Coaching v Therapy #152 Combating Emotional Hijacks #147 Conquering Fear #96 The Many Parts of you #78 Unmasking a Stand-In Curious about coaching? Reach out to Tom here. Want a free transcript of this episode? You can download it here. Every month we share more resources in our Essential News email. Sign up here. To all of you, from all of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership, thanks!
	Coaching versus Therapy	08 Aug 2024	00:23:19
Tired of feeling like a fraud, a leader searches for help down different paths. She and her coach talk about how coaching is, and is not, like therapy. The leader in this episode wrestles with feelings of being a fraud. Tom talks about three resources to help manage that feeling: “The Executive Impostor” Episode #176 of “The Look & Sound of Leadership” Self-Esteem at Work by Nathaniel Branden & Warren Bennis The Confidence Code by Katty Kay and Claire Shipman Additional tools to support your professional development are these free PDFs from our Essential Tools bin: Johari Window Readiness in Coaching You can listen to Tom’s conversations on these two shows: “I Need at Coach” with Adam Packard “Take Five” with Paul Butler This episode is tagged in four categories in our podcast archive: For Women Managing Yourself Personal Growth & Self-Development Self-Talk Four episodes, in addition to “The Executive Impostor” listed above, that will help you dive deeper into the ideas in this episode are: 52 - Coaching v Therapy 191 - Coaching Under Attack 78 - Unmasking a Stand In 171 - Taming the Wild Child Be in touch with Tom here. Grab a free transcript of this episode here. We share more resources in our monthly Essential News email. Sign up here. To all of you, from all of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership, thanks!
	Giving Upward Feedback	11 Jul 2024	00:22:01
A leader and her coach discuss a three-step model for turning upward feedback into a learning conversation that might allow the boss to hear the message. This month’s coaching conversation explores whether feedback should be given upwards in the first place. If so, are there ways to deliver the feedback effectively? Download the free “Giving Upward Feedback” PDF. In the commentary, Tom tells a story about the Marshmallow Test being debunked. Here’s the column he mentions. This episode is tagged in the library in three categories: Communication Skills Feedback Managing Up Five related episodes you might listen to are: 74 Dealing with Emotional Responses 14 Delivering Tough Feedback 32 Giving Powerful Feedback 118 Perception is Reality 99 The Disruptive Executive – Part One Be in touch with Tom here. Grab a free transcript of the episode here. We share more resources in our monthly Essential News email. Sign up here. From all of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership, thanks!
	Networking Conversations – Part Two	06 Jun 2024	00:23:52
Knowing she’ll need to network to achieve her career goals, an ambitious leader asks her coach what a good networking conversation actually sounds like. Resources for Building Your Networking Skills Leverage the latest algorithm on LinkedIn with this research report. Coaching For Leaders podcast: “How to Grow Your Professional Network” Coaching For Leaders podcast: “Executive Presence with Your Elevator Speech” 10 Rules for Networking Link to 10 Rules of Networking PDF in Essential Tools bin Sorting & Labeling Link to Sorting & Labeling PDF in Essential Tools bin The Look & Sound of Leadership: “Assume Equality” The Look & Sound of Leadership: “Being Concise” This month’s episode is in the podcast archive in three categories: For Women Relationship Building Social Skills Five episodes to grow your networking skills: 162 - Acting on the Corporate Stage 180 - Becoming Expert 193 - Branding Yourself 176 - The Executive Impostor 192 - Pursuing a Promotion 2020 Grab a free transcript of this episode here. Be in touch with Tom here. We share more resources in our monthly Essential News email. Sign up here. Listen to Tom’s conversation with Scott Ritzheimer on “Secrets of the High Demand Coach.” COACHES! Join us at the Executive Coaching Special Interest Group sponsored by ICF Los Angeles. You’ll get CCE’s, too! From all of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership, thanks! #podcast#leadershipnetworking#growyournetwork#professoinalconnections#networkingskills#leadershipdevelopment#networkbuilding#careerconnections
	Networking Conversations – Part 1	09 May 2024	00:16:16
An ambitious leader knows she’ll need to network to achieve her career goals. But, to her, networking feels slimy, so she asks her coach for help. Some core concepts from this episode: The purpose of networking is to know people. Don’t target people. Nurture a relationship. Make networking 5% of your job every week. Networking makes you a more valuable employee. Show interest in the other person. No monologuing about yourself. Listen to Tom’s “Flow” and “Fall” stories on the Coaching Stories podcast with Dr. Sam Humphrey. COACHES! Join us at the Executive Coaching Special Interest Group sponsored by ICF Los Angeles. You’ll get CCE’s, too! https://www.icfla.org/special-interest-groups-2/ Be in touch with Tom here. Please help yourself to the free resources in our Essential Tools bin including one called “10 Rules of Networking.” This month’s episode is in the podcast archive in three categories: For Women Relationship Building Social Skills Five episodes to grow your networking skills: 42 - The Art of Chat 58 - Elevator Speeches 242 - Mastering Nerves 129 - Mentoring & Mentors 66 - Networking Tom also mentioned an episode called Conquering People Pleasing. Grab a free transcript of the episode here. We share more resources in our monthly Essential News email. Sign up here. From all of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership, thanks!
	Mastering Nerves	04 Apr 2024	00:23:36
Before testifying in a high-stakes case, a theorist and his coach swap horror stories about their nerves hijacking them and the lessons they learned. Tom’s Top Three Ideas for Mastering Nerves: Celebrate Incremental Improvement Write Happy Endings Ignore Your Nerves Here is the clip of Emma Stone battling her anxiety. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VkN0sPQ76E0 Email Tom and tell him he’s crazy here. For Coaches! 2 Resources! 1. Coaching Stories Podcast 2. Executive Coaching Special Interest Group sponsored by ICF-LA. CCE’s given! Tom’s conversations with Neha Singh on “Bridge to Leadership” podcast are here and here. Please help yourself to the free resources in our Essential Tools bin. This episode lives in the podcast archive in these three categories: Managing Yourself Nervousness Self-Talk Five episodes to help conquer your people pleasing tendencies: Act “As If” Choosing Persistence Conquering Fear The Executive Impostor The Many Parts of You Grab a free transcript of the episode here. Our monthly Essential News email provides links to even more resources. Sign up here. From Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership, thanks!
	Conquering People Pleasing	07 Mar 2024	00:26:10
Angry at himself for continually putting others’ needs before his own, a leader turns to his coach for tools. He learns a new way to think and a behavior to try. Be in touch with Tom here. Listen to Tom’s conversations with Neha on “Bridge to Leadership” podcast here and here. Our Essential Tools bin has free resources to help you build your look and sound of leadership. G.W. Bailey’s imdb page is here. This episode lives in the podcast archive in these three categories: For Women Managing Yourself Self-Talk Five episodes to help conquer your people pleasing tendencies: 188 Boundaries 165 The Conflict Conversation 220 Holding Boundaries 219 How to Set Boundaries 116 Speaking Your Truth Grab a free transcript of the show here. Our monthly Essential News email provides links to even more resources. Sign up here. From Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership, thanks!
	Finding Management Courage	01 Feb 2024	00:18:46
A vice president, struggling to control his team of artists, learns a technique for managing bad behavior from his coach. He likes it so much, he uses it with his high performers, too. The tool described in this episode is simple to understand but may take a bit of courage to implement. Courage can be taught. Brené Brown created her Dare to Lead course for exactly that purpose. Ready to build your courage? Reach out to us here. Find more resources to build your skills in the podcast archive. Search these categories: Assertiveness Feedback Management Skills Five episodes you might listen to are: #47 Discussing Difficult Behaviors #18 Holding People Accountable #138 Managing Disruptive Executives #127 Managing Performance: Up or Out #65 Sorting & Labeling A free infographic for Sorting & Labeling is in our Essential Tools bin. Help yourself to that and all the others. Thinking about developing someone in your organization, or yourself? Reach out to Tom here. Grab a free transcript of the show here. Our monthly Essential News email provides links to even more resources. Sign up here. From Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership, thanks! #podcast #managingbadbehavior #leadershippodcast #leadershipchallenges #behaviormanagement #leadershiptips #leadershipdevelopment
	5 Strategies for Dealing with Narcissists	11 Jan 2024	00:18:17
A leader is so furious with his self-absorbed boss, he considers quitting the company. He asks his coach to help him manage himself and defuse his triggers. In addition to the five strategies Tom talks about in this episode, there are lots more strategies in his conversation with Dave Stachowiak on Coaching For Leaders “How to Deal with a Boss Who’s a Jerk.” Tom’s wide-ranging conversation with Josh Dittmer can be found here. Free tools to support your professional development are in our Essential Tools bin. Please help yourself. Ready to explore coaching? Reach out to Tom here. Other episodes to help you manage yourself in difficult workplace relationshipsare: The Disruptive Executive – Part One The Disruptive Executive – Part Two Don’t Take It Personally Handling Defensive Behaviors The High-Maintenance Executive Looking for a transcript of the show? Download it here. Our monthly Essential News email provides links to even more resources. Sign up here. Thanks to all of you, from Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership. Happy, healthy, safe new year!
	Leading with Political Savvy – Part 2	07 Dec 2023	00:21:41
Tired of losing to more savvy players, a leader seeks to decode the secrets of playing politics, focusing particularly on company culture. Download our free Political Style Chart here. “The Secret Handshake” is a great tool for mastering workplace politics. Looking for a transcript of the show? Read it here. More tools are in our podcast library. This episode is in three categories: For Women Perception – how you perceive others Relationship Building Here are five episodes to help develop your political savvy: 188 - Boundaries 210 - How to grow your self-management 67 - “I hate politics” 142 - The Mindful Executive 121 - Your Goodwill Bank Account Our monthly Essential News email provides links to even more resources. Sign up here. Let us know how we can support you. Happy, healthy, safe new year. I look forward to being with you all in 2024. From Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership, Happy New Year! And thanks!
	Leading with Political Savvy – Part 1	02 Nov 2023	00:27:09
A leader feels stuck. She sees others winning resources she felt should have been hers, but she hates playing politics. What to do? Download our free Political Style Chart here. “The Secret Handshake” is a great tool for mastering workplace politics. Many more tools are in our podcast library. This episode is in three categories: Self-Talk Leadership For Women Here are five episodes to help develop your political savvy: 187 - Agreeable Disagreement 215 - How to Stay Calm Under Fire 192 - Pursuing a Promotion 207 - Tough Conversations 67 - “I Hate Politics” Our monthly Essential News email provides links to even more resources. Sign up here. JAPAN! Email me with your suggestions for what we should not miss in Japan this December! tom@essentialcomm.com Let us know how we can support you. Be kind to yourself. Things are rough out there! From Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership, be well! And thanks!
	Building Consensus – Savvy or Sin?	04 Oct 2023	00:27:06
A leader, surrounded by people she knows and trusts, can’t seem to get traction with them. In conversation with her coach, she discovers an unexpected cause. Tools for teams abound in this episode. The four tools Tom suggests as first steps for helping your team openly discuss ideas are: Say ‘thank you’ when people offer an idea; Be curious; don’t dismiss ideas or people; Don’t take differences personally; it’s not about you; Develop your comfort with disagreement. The Gradients of Agreement tool supports the ideas in this episode. Download it for free from our Essential Tools bin along with other communication tools like Sorting & Labeling. Additional tools for team growth mentioned in this episode are the classic Crucial Conversations and Tom’s conversation on The cATalyzing Podcast. This episode is in our podcast library in three categories: Communication Skills Leading Teams Management Skills Specific episodes that will help you develop your team are: Facilitating Open Dialogue How Teams Fight Leadership Behavior in Meetings Power Tools for Teams: Plus/Delta Questions as Leadership Taming Meetings Our monthly Essential News email provides links to even more resources. You can sign up here. To those of you who post reviews, thank you so much for supporting the show. Let us know how we can support you. Until next month, from Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership, be well! And thanks! #podcast #TeamDecisionMaking #Teamwork #Leadership #ConsensusBuilding #EffectiveTeams #TeamCommunication #TeamLeadership
	The Conflict Resolution Wheel	07 Sep 2023	00:24:56
A co-founder, at odds with his partner (also his best friend!), reaches out to his coach for help saving the business and the friendship. The episode introduces The Conflict Resolution Wheel. Download it for free from our Essential Tools bin along with other communication tools like the Feeling Words Grid. The Wheel is based on a tool in the Couple Communication course, a program to help you understand and connect with your partner better. The course’s workbook, Talking and Listening Together, is meant for self-study. It’s available for purchase online. Another book Tom references in this episode is the classic Crucial Conversations. This episode is in our podcast library in three categories: Communication Skills Managing Yourself Relationship Building Five episodes that will help you continue to develop your conflict resolution skills are: Conflict The Conflict Conversation Creating Safety for Hard Talks A Difficult Conversation Resolving Conflict Every month our Essential News email provides links to even more resources. You can sign up here. Thank you thank you thank you to those of you who post reviews. You make such a difference to us. Thanks for supporting the show! Let us know how we can support you. Until next month, from Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership, be well! And thanks!
	Essential Skills that Shaped a Leader	03 Aug 2023	00:21:31
A senior leader, having risen through the ranks, ends her coaching engagement by comparing notes with her coach about the skills that have helped her most. This episode identified seven essential leadership skills: Conquer catastrophic thinking; Use fewer words; Value relationships as highly as results; Don’t take anything personally; Commitment to Development; Reflection; Speak for Yourself. Resources to develop those last three: Commitment to Development The Executive Executive – an episode with a different list of essential skills Four Factors Executives Need to be Successful – another list of essential skills thenschel@essentialcomm.com – my email address if you want help thinking about your own development The Ability to Reflect Mindfulness Resources Building Self-Awareness Speak for Yourself The Four Agreements – Agreement #1: “Be Impeccable with Your Word” Episodes to build assertion: Showing Teeth The Voice of Authority Assertion v Aggression This month’s episode lives in our podcast library in these three categories: Executive Presence Leadership Self-Talk Five episodes to help you with different skills are: Building Empathy “Don’t Take Anything Personally” The Executive Executive Personal Connections Short Sounds Confident Our monthly email has links to more resources. You can sign up here. All our infographics are available to you for free in the Essential Tools bin. Let us know how we can support you. Until next month, be well! From Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership, thanks!
	Taming the Defensiveness Dragon	06 Jul 2023	00:27:56
At the end of her rope, a leader asks her coach for help managing a direct report who, she says, is the most defensive person she’s ever met. This episode was packed with tools. We’ve put them into an easy-to-understand infographic. Download it for free here. Kim Scott, the best-selling author of the electric book Radical Candor, wrote a short, friendly guide with tools for handling defensive employees. Find it here. Harvard Business Review’s Amy Gallo talked with Dave Stachowiak on this episode of the Coaching for Leaders podcast. As with every episode of Dave’s, this is indispensable. To work on “deserving” dive into The Four Agreements. To dig deeper into tools for taming defensiveness, search our podcast library in these three categories: Communication Skills Management Skills Relationship Building Five specific episodes on this topic you could listen to are: 7 Steps to Stop Emotional Hijacks Be Impeccable with Your Word Handling Defensive Behaviors Managing Bad Behavior Managing Disruptive Executives Sign up to get our monthly email with links to resources that support each episode. Calling all COACHES! Come join our Executive Coaching special interest group (SIG) sponsored by the Los Angeles Chapter of ICF. Check out our SIG and all the others here. Or shoot me an email with your questions. I’m at tom@essentialcomm.com. All our free infographics are in the Essential Tools bin. Your reviews supporting the show help us continue as an ad-free podcast. Let us know how we can support you. Until next month, be well! Thanks from Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership.
	Unlocking Executive Presence through Emotional Intelligence	08 Jun 2023	00:22:11
During her first C-suite years, a leader burned a lot of bridges. Her boss, who’d traveled a similar path, gets her a coach and sets only one goal: repair relations through emotional intelligence. Lots and lots of tools and resources this month: Free downloads: The Feeling Words Grid EQ Model Books and papers to sharpen your skills “Executive Presence: The Missing Link between Merit and Success” “The EQ Edge: Emotional Intelligence and Your Success” “Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well” “Executive Presence” from Center for Talent Innovation This episode is tagged in three categories in the Podcast Library: Executive Presence Managing Yourself Personal Growth & Self-Development Five episodes to help you command a room: 109 Building Emotional Intelligence 146 Building Empathy 155 The Human Element 69 Leadership & Self-Deception 17 Speaking for Yourself Please help yourself to any (or all!) of our free infographics in the Essential Tools bin. Our deepest gratitude to those who post reviews. Thank you!!! Let us know how we can support you. Until next month, be well! Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team.
	Staying Afloat in a Shitstorm	11 May 2023	00:26:01
A highly effective leader finds herself in the middle of a terrible mess, not of her own making. When her coach marvels at her ability to stay calm amidst the chaos, she shares a lesson she learned from her dad. In addition to the tools discussed during this episode, Tom also talks about: “Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High.” Conversations with Coaches – Episode #184 Executive Coaching Special Interest Group The Feeling Word Grid This episode is tagged in three categories in the Podcast Library: Managing Yourself Perception – How You Perceive Yourself Self-Talk Five episodes to help you manage during difficult times: 109 - Building Emotional Intelligence 52 - Coaching versus Therapy 152 - Combating Emotional Hijacks 75 - “Don’t Take Anything Personally” 171 - Taming the Wild Child All our free infographics are in the Essential Tools bin. Your reviews supporting the show help us continue as an ad-free podcast. Let us know how we can support you. Until next month, be well! Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team.
	How to Command a Room	06 Apr 2023	00:21:31
Wanting to command rooms with her voice, a team leader turned to her coach for exercises. She learned the secrets of “RVP.” In this episode, five practices to help you develop a voice that will command a room are discussed: Vocal variety Expect resistance Rhythm Volume Pitch This episode has multiple tips and tools for each of those five development areas. The Zootopia clip that gets so much attention is here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HHKwnUa3txo This episode is tagged in three categories in the Podcast Library: Communication Skills Executive Presence Presentation Skills Five episodes to help you command a room: 186 Video Feedback & Executive Presence 120 Captivate Your Audience 77 The Power of Rehearsal 64 I Talk Too Fast! 34 Keeping Repeated Material Fresh All our free infographics are in the Essential Tools bin. Thanks for supporting us with your reviews. Let us know how we can support you. Until next month, be well! Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team.
	The Sound of Leadership & Management - 2023	02 Mar 2023	00:20:51
In conversation with her coach, an executive explores whether leaders and managers use language differently in order to be effective in their roles. There are lots of ideas in this episode. To help you sort the tools and put them into practice, we’ve created an infographic for you to download. It’s in the Essential Tools bin along with all the others. Help yourself! This episode is tagged in three categories in the Podcast Library: Leadership Management Skills Perception – How You’re Perceived Five related episodes you might listen to are: 139Engagement & Performance 138Managing Disruptive Executives 140 Showing Teeth 148Taming Meetings 156The Voice of Authority Much gratitude to the folks who post reviews. We appreciate your support and all your kind words. Let us know how we can support your growth and development. Be in touch with us here. Until next month, be well! Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team.
	Leadership v Management - 2023	02 Feb 2023	00:21:21
An executive, in conversation with her coach, wonders if leaders and managers are different. And whether it matters. This episode has lots of ideas flying around. To help you sort the tools and put them into practice, we’ve created an infographic for you to download. It’s in the Essential Tools bin along with all the others. Help yourself! This episode is tagged in three categories in the Podcast Library: Leadership Management Skills Relationship Building Five related episodes you might listen to are: 139Dynamic One-on-Ones 138How Teams Fight 179 Managing Former Peers 148Taming Meetings 156The Voice of Authority We are so grateful to those of you post reviews. It only takes you a minute or two, but it makes a world of difference for us. Our purpose is to support your growth and development. Let us know how we can help. Be in touch with us here. Until next month, be well! Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team.
	Finding a Lighter Path	12 Jan 2023	00:19:10
A leader, stuck in an unhealthy cycle, searches for a way out. In conversation with his coach, he learns a four-square tool that just might work. A new free Essential Tool illustrating the four-square model is available for download in the Essential Tools bin. No login required. Help yourself. The model in this month’s episode is a variation on The ACT Matrix. Here’s our favorite YouTube video about The Matrix. The creators of The ACT Matrix wrote a book to help practitioners use the tool. This current episode is tagged in the library in three categories: Developing New Behaviors Managing Yourself Self-Talk Here are five episodes to help you get unstuck: 7 Steps to Stop Emotional Hijacks* Blind Spots How to Build Self-Awareness* How to Grow your Self-Management* How to Show Up * Indicates there’s a PDF in the Essential Tools bin to support the ideas in that episode. We are so excited to dive into the new year with you all! All the best, Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team.
	How to Act in Your Own Best Interest	08 Dec 2022	00:21:41
A team leader had a habit of jumping to conclusions. His most recent leap landed him in hot water. In conversation with his coach, he learns a tool for making better choices. We created a new free Essential Tool illustrating The Ladder of Inference. It’s in the Essential Tools bin along with all the others. Please help yourself. The “Don’t Judge Too Quickly” ads are on YouTube here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UP8NRgWtPaE&t=18s This current episode is tagged in the library in three categories: Managing Yourself Perception – How You Perceive Yourself Personal Growth & Self-Development In addition to the various episodes listed above, five that will help you think about your thinking are: 102 – Getting Unstuck 210 – How to Grow Your Self-Management 63 – Positive Opposites 154 – Self-Limiting Beliefs 190 – Thinking Errors Safe and sane holidays, everyone. See you in the New Year! With gratitude, Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team.
	How to Turn on Your Executive Thinking	03 Nov 2022	00:19:23
A senior executive worries that his lieutenants are not being taken seriously by the senior leadership team. He discusses with a coach how to help his rising leaders accelerate their growth. This is that conversation. We created a new free Essential Tool for you called “Executive Thinking.” It illustrates the “altitude” analogy Tom told during the episode. It also supports one of the four exercises you can do with your team. Additional Essential Tools that support other exercises are “Before You Write Your Presentation” and “Sorting & Labeling.” Liberating Structures is the free resource Tom was raving about. The specific exercise he mentioned was TRIZ. Tom has talked about Liberating Structures in the episodes “How to Re-engage a Team” and “Leading Offsites.” If you’re approaching year-end performance reviews, there are tools to support you – no matter which side of the review you’re on! – in Performance Reviews. Tom referenced two shows that can help you learn Sorting & Labeling. Coaching For Leaders with Dave Stachowiak: The Way to Make Sense to Others. The Everyday Innovator with Chad McCallister: How Product Managers Look & Sound like Leaders. This current episode is tagged in the library in three categories: Executive Presence Leadership Perception – How You’re Perceived In addition to the various episodes listed above, five that relate specifically to executive thinking are: 180 Becoming Expert 193 Branding Yourself 202 The Executive Executive 178 Executive Presence – Three Pillars 11 Sounding Executive As we hurtle in our year-end traditions, stay mindful! Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team.
	How to Disarm a Trigger	06 Oct 2022	00:23:28
A leader causing upset among her people is given a coach. In conversation, they examine what might be triggering people to be upset with her. The exploration leads to a simple, yet difficult, idea. Transcripts of every episode are available for download in our library. Tom mentioned two episodes with mindfulness tools. They are: The Mindful Executive The Focused Executive. This episode is filed in three categories in the library: Managing Yourself Personal Growth & Self-Development Self-Talk In addition to the mindfulness episodes, five other related episodes are: 204 Blind Spots 119 Creating Devoted Followers 171 Taming the Wild Child 190 Thinking Errors 96 The Many Parts of You Listen to Tom’s conversation with Kim O’Hara on “You Should Write a Book About That.” Listen to Tom’s conversation with Marcel van de Hoef on “The Happy Investor.” Gratitude to those who POST REVIEWS. You are life-sustaining! Thank you! Got a question you think a coach could help with? We’re happy to talk! Get in touch with us here. Until next month, stay healthy and be well. Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team.

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