MAKE THE WORK BEFORE ANYONE CHOOSES YOU
Katie Briefel on why specificity, visible proof, and genuine generosity make talented people easier to trust, remember, and choose.
WHY THIS CONVERSATION MATTERED
What if the reason you are being overlooked is not a lack of talent, but a lack of visible proof?
A lot of capable people are waiting for someone else to validate what they can do. They refine the pitch, rewrite the bio, and hope the right person will somehow recognize their potential.
But potential is difficult to choose when nobody can see it operating in the world.
That is why I wanted to speak with Katie Briefel. Katie is a brand and community strategist, writer, host, and founder of Love The Question. Her work sits at the intersection of identity, belonging, creativity, and human connection.
Katie’s central idea is both simple and demanding: “I would just make the stuff that you wanna be chosen for before anyone chooses you.”
This conversation is not about posting more for the sake of visibility. It is about creating evidence. Evidence of how you think. Evidence of what you notice. Evidence of how you make people feel. Evidence that gives the right person a specific reason to remember you.
THE PERSONAL ESSAY THAT BECAME A BUSINESS CASE
Katie once wrote a deeply personal Substack essay about the rituals surrounding a funeral and what they revealed about healing.
It was not a thought-leadership exercise. It was not optimized for a client brief. It was specific, honest work that showed how she makes meaning from human behavior.
A friend read it and recognized something larger than the subject of the essay. He saw how Katie thought laterally, how she connected ideas, and how she translated a difficult human experience into something other people could understand.
Later, he brought her into his startup. The relationship became a long-term opportunity that included work and events in New York and London.
The essay did not ask to be hired. It gave someone a reason to believe she could do the work.
That distinction matters.
Telling people you are thoughtful is a claim.
Publishing something thoughtful is proof.
Saying you understand community is a claim.
Creating a room where people feel seen is proof.
Calling yourself a strategist is a claim.
Showing how you interpret a complicated problem is proof.
The strongest personal brands do not repeatedly announce their qualities. They make those qualities observable.
THE VISIBLE PROOF AUDIT
If the right opportunity appeared tomorrow, what could someone examine today to understand why you are ready for it?
Use these five questions:
1. What do I want to be known for specifically?
Do not answer with a broad category such as marketing, leadership, or creativity. Name the problem you understand, the change you create, or the perspective you want associated with your name.
2. Where is the evidence?
List the essays, projects, events, case studies, conversations, introductions, prototypes, or decisions that show this quality in practice.
3. Can someone understand how I think without meeting me?
A polished bio tells people what you have done. A strong body of work lets them experience your judgment.
4. What proof is missing?
If you want to be chosen to host, host something small. If you want to advise founders, publish a clear teardown. If you want to lead a campaign, build a sample concept that demonstrates your taste.
5. Is the evidence easy to find?
Good work cannot create opportunity if it is buried in a private folder, scattered across platforms, or disconnected from your name.
You do not need to prove everything. You need enough specific evidence for the right person to recognize the connection between what they need and how you think.
BE KNOWN SPECIFICALLY
Katie told me, “I think being chosen is really about being known specifically, right?”
This is different from being broadly visible.
Broad visibility may earn attention. Specificity gives attention somewhere to land.
If people describe you as “great,” “smart,” or “creative,” they may like you but still not know when to call you. A useful reputation is attached to something concrete.
Try completing these sentences:
• People come to me when they need…
• I notice things about _____ that other people miss.
• The problem I can explain unusually well is…
• After working with me, people understand…
• I want my name to come up when someone asks…
The point is not to trap yourself in a niche forever. It is to make your current value legible.
Specificity does not make your work smaller. It makes your relevance easier to recognize.
BUILD A VOICE THE ALGORITHM CANNOT HAND YOU
Katie collects references with no immediate agenda. She saves images, ideas, lines, films, songs, and observations that move her, then looks for patterns across them.
That practice matters because a distinctive voice is rarely created by consuming more of what everyone else in your field is already seeing.
If your references come only from your feed, your work may become technically competent but emotionally familiar.
Katie also uses a useful filter inspired by Rick Rubin: write to the version of yourself from a year ago. Instead of asking, “Will this perform?” ask, “Would this have helped me when I was trying to understand this?”
That question changes the work. It replaces performance with service.
Her publishing goal was also process based. She committed to publishing every Sunday rather than setting a subscriber target for every piece. The cadence gave her enough repetitions to discover what she thought.
A simple practice:
• Keep one running reference file.
• Add ten things each week from outside your professional algorithm.
• Note exactly what caught your attention.
• Review the file once a month.
• Look for repeated tensions, images, questions, and ideas.
• Turn one pattern into a piece of work for the person you were a year ago.
Voice is not a tone setting. It is the pattern of what you notice, what you connect, and what you are willing to say clearly.
WHEN PEOPLE CHOOSE A BRAND, THEY ARE CHOOSING AN IDENTITY
One of Katie’s sharpest observations was: “People don’t care about brands, they care about what brands say about them.”
This is useful far beyond consumer marketing.
People do not choose only on features. They choose what a decision allows them to express, protect, signal, or become.
To de-center your brand, offer, or personal positioning, ask:
• What does choosing this help someone say about themselves?
• What identity are they moving toward?
• What are they afraid of getting wrong?
• What social signal matters to them?
• What do they want to feel after the decision?
• What proof would reduce the emotional risk of choosing?
If you are struggling to stand out, you may be explaining yourself from the inside out. Start with the person making the choice.
HOST BEFORE YOU ASK
Katie’s relationship with Headspace began with a contribution, not a pitch.
She approached the company about supporting a charity event connected to Women for Women Afghanistan. She stayed in contact and remained visible without forcing a commercial ask. About a year later, Headspace invited her to help with its event series.
The lesson is not that every generous act will become paid work. It should not be treated as a disguised sales tactic.
The lesson is that trust compounds when people experience your judgment, care, and follow-through before a transaction is required.
Katie put it plainly: “Just bring value. I always find that helps. Just don’t do it with ulterior motive.”
There are many ways to do this without overextending yourself:
• Make one thoughtful introduction.
• Host a small table around a useful question.
• Share a resource that solves a real problem.
• Invite someone into a room where they will meet the right people.
• Credit the person whose idea helped you.
• Follow up because you were paying attention, not because you need something.
Networking asks, “What can this relationship do for me?”
Hosting asks, “What useful thing can happen because I brought these people together?”
USE A PLAYGROUND, NOT A PLAYBOOK
Katie described curiosity and experimentation as practical advantages in uncertain seasons.
A fixed playbook assumes the conditions are known. A playground gives you room to test, notice, and respond.
Katie experienced this while building what became Love The Question. She changed the name and positioning while the project was already underway. She worried that the change looked messy and felt shame about not having solved everything in advance.
Her conclusion was more useful than a polished origin story: through making, you work out what something is.
That is not permission to be careless. It is permission to learn in public without treating every revision as evidence that you failed.
When a project feels stuck, replace the identity question with an experiment:
Instead of: “What should this become?”
Try: “What can I test in the next seven days?”
Instead of: “What is my perfect positioning?”
Try: “Which version creates the clearest response?”
Instead of: “Am I ready to publish?”
Try: “What will publishing teach me that private preparation cannot?”
The goal is not certainty. It is useful information.
THE PART THAT IS NOT EASY
There is a risk in turning any opportunity story into a formula.
Making strong work does not guarantee that the right person will see it. Staying visible takes time. Generosity can become unpaid labor if you never set boundaries. Publishing consistently is harder when money, health, caregiving, or energy are limited.
Katie was honest that she still gets caught in the numbers and wonders why she is not growing faster. She also spoke about a period of burnout and becoming physically unwell after ignoring signs that something was not working.
That honesty strengthens the thesis.
The answer is not to produce endlessly or pretend metrics do not matter. The answer is to choose a form of visibility you can sustain, attach it to work you genuinely want to make, and judge the process over a longer horizon.
Consistency without self-trust becomes performance.
Generosity without boundaries becomes depletion.
Visibility without specificity becomes noise.
The better goal is evidence you can continue creating without abandoning yourself.
A 7-DAY PROOF-BEFORE-PERMISSION SPRINT
Day 1: Choose the association
Complete this sentence: “I want to be known as the person who helps _____ do _____.”
Day 2: Inventory your proof
Find three things that already demonstrate this ability. A client result, essay, event, prototype, introduction, analysis, or decision all count.
Day 3: Collect better references
Save ten references from outside your usual feed. Note what you admire about each one.
Day 4: Make one small artifact
Create the shortest useful piece of work that demonstrates your judgment. It might be a one-page guide, a teardown, a sample concept, a short essay, a workshop outline, or a thoughtful interview.
Day 5: Make it discoverable
Publish it somewhere connected to your name. Give it a clear title that tells the right person what problem it addresses.
Day 6: Create value for one person
Make an introduction, share a resource, invite someone into a room, or offer a useful observation. Do it without attaching an immediate request.
Day 7: Review the process, not the applause
Ask what the work clarified, what response surprised you, and what you want to make next. Do not use one week of metrics as a verdict on the value of the idea.
FOUR LINES WORTH SAVING
“I think being chosen is really about being known specifically, right?”
“I would just make the stuff that you wanna be chosen for before anyone chooses you.”
“People don’t care about brands, they care about what brands say about them.”
“When you move with authenticity and courage and generosity, you will naturally magnetize the people who you’re meant to work with.”
SIGNALS FROM THE CONVERSATION
OPPORTUNITY SIGNAL
The opportunity did not begin with a conventional pitch. A relationship created familiarity, and Katie’s personal essay supplied visible proof of how she thought. Connection and work provided different forms of evidence.
TRUST SIGNAL
Specificity. People trust work that has a clear point of view and feels precise enough to help them recognize themselves inside it.
MOMENTUM SIGNAL
Make, publish, host, and connect before the outcome is guaranteed. Momentum comes from visible participation, not private preparation alone.
EMILY’S FAVORITE MOMENT
My favorite moment was Katie’s challenge to make the work before anyone chooses you.
It removes the pressure to appear fully formed and replaces it with a better question: What evidence can I create today?
You cannot control who says yes. You can make your judgment, care, and capability easier to see. That is a far more useful place to put your energy.
WHAT TO DO NEXT
Choose one opportunity you want in the next twelve months.
Then ask: What would someone need to see to feel confident choosing me for it?
Do not start with another explanation of your potential. Make one small piece of evidence.
Save this issue and use the Visible Proof Audit whenever your work feels stronger than the opportunities finding you.
CONNECT WITH KATIE
Connect on LinkedIn
Love The Question
WHO SHOULD BE CHOSEN NEXT?
Who has earned your confidence through the work they made before anyone was paying attention?
Reply with your recommendation or submit a guest for The Lead.
Follow The Lead for conversations about how meaningful opportunities are created, how confidence is built, and how better choices are made.
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