Explore every episode of the podcast The Inner Work Conversation

Linked episodes:

How to build self assurance (105)

How to make decisions from an emotionally regulated place (326)

How to hold your nerve when you’re questioning if your tipping point is coming (312)

What I’m learning about insecurity & self assurance (281)

Lessons in overcoming the fear of not being good enough (236)

Learning how to trust yourself is a profitable skill (181)

Join the Inner Work Club (doors close 14th May) HERE: https://www.theinnerwork.co.uk/theinnerworkclub

Join us in the book club: INSTANT ACCESS HERE

Linked Episodes:

304 - What happened to my business results when I stopped self neglecting

305 - How to actually get what you want

49 - What do you want?

179 - OWNING what you want isn’t the easy option

96 - Meg’s experience of not neglecting the things that make her thrive

158 - How to support yourself (workshop taster)

Got questions? DM me HERE

For more information on:

The Book Club - CLICK HERE

The Inner Work Club - CLICK HERE

For related episodes, listen to:

297 - HERE is what I look for in my clients

286 - the three things I do to keep myself (& my business) on track

280 - powerful assumptions that will make you more confident in business

Register for the “Facing the fear that holds you back” HERE

LINKED EPISODES:

241 - Steady in the storm - how to hold your nerve through uncertainty

293 - Insecurities and how to navigate them

281 - What I’m learning about self assurance

Join the book club for taming tigers in April (or instant access if listening in the future)

Book Club link: https://www.theinnerwork.co.uk/bookclub

Related episodes:

Episode 323 – 3 sneaky self sabotage ways successful people hold themselves back

Episode 319 – The Messy Middle - where most people quit (and why YOU shouldn’t)

Episode 181 – Learning how to trust yourself is a profitable skill

LINK TO THE BLOG: https://www.theinnerwork.co.uk/blog

Connect with me on Instgram: https://www.instagram.com/_nikki_cross_/

..and LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nikkicross/https://www.linkedin.com/in/nikkicross/

7 day free trial to book club HERE: https://www.theinnerwork.co.uk/bookclub

THAT “speaking & workshops” new website page: https://www.theinnerwork.co.uk/speakingandworkshops

JOIN THE BOOK CLUB: https://www.theinnerwork.co.uk/bookclub

CONNECT WITH ME ON INSTAGRAM: @_nikki_cross_/

IF YOU LIKED THIS EPISODE - HERE ARE SOME LINKED EPISODES:

321 -When you let yourself be seen & have to deal with their opinions

132 - Let’s talk about visibility - are you hiding?

260 - The power of backing yourself (from £2k to £20k projects with Roberta Emmott)

230 - Learning how to trust & value yourself

202 - How to set yourself free

157 - The false benefits of holding yourself back

151 - You’re NOT normal…and that’s PERFECT - how to show up JUST as you are

137 - What Oasis & Beyonce can teach us about being yourself in business

Join the book club: https://www.theinnerwork.co.uk/bookclub

Mentioned episodes:

* Episode 296 – I wasn’t getting results quick enough. Instead of giving up, here’s what I did.

* Episode 241– How to hold your nerve

* Episode 237 – How to not give up when it’s hard

* Episode 72 – Learning how to not give up

* Episode 326 – Stop trying to “action away” your feelings

* Episode 152– When results aren’t happening (quickly enough)

When it feels like it’s not working and you want to give up, this episode is your reminder to chop wood and carry water.

In Episode 328, I talk about the messy middle …the phase where progress is invisible, motivation dips, and you question everything. There’s no magic shortcut.

Just small, unsexy actions compounded over time.

If you’re tired, doubting, or wondering what’s the point… press play.

Book club link: https://www.theinnerwork.co.uk/bookclub

Episode 280: Powerful assumptions that I think on PURPOSE

Episode 307: The REAL cost of overthinking

Episode 326: stop trying to “action” your discomfort away

Related episodes:

271 - How I got better at handling uncertainty

319 - The Messy Middle: where most people quit, and what to do instead

181 - Learning how to trust yourself is a profitable skill

280 - Powerful assumptions that will help you win in business

124 - How your assumptions are holding you back

105 - HERE is how to build self assurance

If you’ve been questioning everything lately … your business, career, money, or direction… because you feel overwhelmed, uncertain, or emotionally rattled… this episode is for you.

In Episode 326 of The Inner Work Conversation, I talk about something I see constantly (in myself and in the people I work with):

Trying to action away uncomfortable feelings.

This is a short, honest listen about emotional dysregulation, fear-based decisions, and how to stop making big moves just to escape how you feel.

If you’ve ever thought:

* “I need to fix this NOW.”

* “I can’t cope with this feeling. I must do something.”

…this episode is for you

The pattern

You feel something uncomfortable:

Fear.Pressure.Uncertainty.Overwhelm.

And almost immediately your system goes:

I need to do something. NOW.

So you start:

* comparing your offers / CV / website

* redoing your strategy (again)

* questioning your direction… your future… your LIFE

You reshuffle. Reorganise. Make big decisions. Burn things down.

Not from clarity.From dysregulation. From trying to escape how you feel.

As I say in the episode: none of this action comes from strategy – it comes from trying to escape the inner experience.

That’s the real pattern.

Fear-based decisions feel different

They usually feel:

Urgent.Mentally loud.Heavy.Rushed.Pressured.

With thoughts like:

“I just need to fix / figure this out right now…”

That’s not intuition.That’s your nervous system in distress.

One of the biggest reminders I share:

Feeling unsafe does not mean something needs to be fixed (right now).

Grounded decisions don’t come from panic

They feel quieter.They don’t arrive with chaos.

They come after you’ve allowed yourself to feel what you’re feeling instead of trying to action it away.

Your inner dialogue starts to sound more like:

“I don’t need to solve this today.”“I’ve handled hard things before.”“I don’t need to dismantle everything right now.”

Getting yourself to that place?That’s self-leadership.

Here’s the rule I now live by:

I act when I’m calm.

I don’t make big decisions when I feel overwhelmed, scared, or desperate for certainty.

Because the thing you’re obsessing over is rarely the real problem.

Usually, it’s how you feel that needs tending to - not the external situation.

A few lines from the episode

“Please stop trying to action away your inner experience. Because when you do that, you are not making good decisions on behalf of yourself.” (05:21)

“The situation hasn’t changed. It’s just suddenly urgent because now I’m uncomfortable – and my nervous system wants out.” (08:19)

“I’ve learnt to recognise when I’m in that place because it feels like I’m scratching around to find a decision, not receiving one – forcing one.” (07:56)

“Although it feels like the end of the world if I don’t fix it right now, I’ve learnt I don’t need to solve this today. I’ve handled hard things before.” (10:29)

If you’ve been in “I must do something” mode lately, this episode might be exactly what helps you slow down, reconnect with yourself, and make decisions from clarity instead of fear.

…But the most damaging comparison isn’t external - it’s internal.

It’s you vs the version of you in your head who:

* Never struggles

* Always feels motivated

* Copes better

* Finds things easier

That version doesn’t ...even ...exist.

But we still use it as the benchmark.

And then we wonder why everything feels heavier than it needs to.

Why do you find it so hard? Ermmm maybe because it’s (objectively) hard...

One of the most important reminders from this episode:

When you’re wondering “what’s wrong with me ... .Why am I finding it so hard??”

Remember: Some things are hard because they are objectively hard.

Not because you’re weak.

Not because you’re behind.

Not because you’re incapable.

But when you’re in the messy middle - the discomfort, the part when you don’t know if it’s all working ... your brain will often turn struggle into a personal failing.

This episode is about catching that moment ...and choosing not to be another voice in your own head tearing you down.

A BETTER way to use comparison (that actually builds confidence)

Here’s the realisation that changed everything for me:

Instead of comparing yourself to the version of you who never struggles…compare yourself to the version of you who didn’t even show up.

The version who:

* Didn’t send the proposal in the first place

* Didn’t put themselves forward for that thing

* Didn’t go to the class / networking event / interview

* Didn’t try

Suddenly, everything you’re doing becomes bonus effort, not evidence that you’re failing.

That’s how comparison starts to build confidence instead of erode it.

Because let’s not forget - YOU HAVE A CHOICE...

Let your effort count

Your 100% won’t look the same every day.

Comparing yourself to fantasy standards disconnects you from reality ...and from your own progress. Episode 325 is about:

* How to stay grounded when you want to self-doubt-spiral

* How to use comparison in a healthier way

* How to stop the inner critic mid-effort

* How to let your effort count ... not in a ‘toxic positivity’ kind of way, but in a balanced way.

...Especially on days when you feel tired, hormonal, stretched, or off-form.

Quotes from episode 325:

“Most comparison isn’t to other people. It’s comparing yourself to the perfect version of you that doesn’t even exist.” (~16:20)

“There are enough people in the world who will put you down. I don’t need to be another voice in my own head doing that to myself.” (~17:42)

“Our brains naturally focus on where we’re behind. But every book I read comes back to the same thing: you’ve got to let your progress count.” (~27:24)

Loved this? Here’s more episodes linked to this topic:

* Episode 323 – Self Sabotage

* Episode 203 – The Costs of Dodging Disapproval in Business

* Episode 80 – Unhooking from Praise & Criticism

This episode is a direct follow up to episode 321 linked HERE.

Other linked episodes:

280: Powerful assumptions that’ll help you win in business

132: Let’s talk about visibility - are you hiding?

247: “they don’t like me” and other ideas that are screwing you over

212: Building the emotional capacity you need to do business well

Join the book club HERE : https://www.theinnerwork.co.uk/bookclub

Mentioned episodes:

Sarah Nolan’s “the Wellness Brief” podcast - episode 37 linked HERE

* Your brain is sabotaging you

* Are YOU secretly sabotaging?

* Why overcomplicating things is ACTUALLY self sabotage

* Self sabotaging? Fix: assume the opposite

* Grit, grace, adversity & acceptance

* I self sabotage, you self sabotage - we ALL self sabotage

JOIN HERE: https://www.theinnerwork.co.uk/theinnerworkclub - DOORS CLOSE 26th Jan.

Join the Inner Work Club here: https://www.theinnerwork.co.uk/theinnerworkclub

Linked episodes:

297 - Are you( ready for the Inner Work?

280 - Powerful assumptions that will help you win in business

320 - three things I do to keep myself on track

234 - when you just want to know it’ll all be ok, listen to this

271 - How I got better at handling uncertainty

Join the Inner Work Club here: https://www.theinnerwork.co.uk/theinnerworkclub

More episodes on doubt:

280 - Powerful assumptions that will help you win in business

320 - three things I do to keep myself on track

234 - when you just want to know it’ll all be ok, listen to this

271 - How I got better at handling uncertainty

Join the Inner Work Club HERE: https://www.theinnerwork.co.uk/theinnerworkclub

Episodes linked:

260 - the power of backing yourself in business

240 - the messy middle we need to normalise

264 - the reason you’re stuck & what to do about it

275 - Handling your inner critic

272 - about your self doubt

Doors open to the Inner Work Foundations Monday 12th Jan (doors close 26th Jan)

Mentioned in this episode:

* Why you avoid self reflection - ep 82

* Signs you need to get clear & unstuck - ep 300

* Feeling stuck? Here’s where to start - ep 294

* Are you building a business (or career) you’re actually happy in? - ep 274

* Are you ready for the Inner Work? Here’s what I look for in my clients - episode 297

* Three things I do to keep mySELF & my business on track - 286

I’m walking through my biggest lessons I’m taking from 2025 …and I invite you to reflect on your own year too. Let’s take a minute (or 30) to slow down, zoom out, and take what’s useful for your life and business, in a simple, non-overwhelming way.

LINKS:

The Inner Work Business Book Club: www.thrivewithnikkicross.co.uk/bookclub

Episodes mentioned / linked:Episode 186 - I miss my Mum (what to do in business when a significant support leaves your life)Episode 290. When you KNOW something needs to change but you don’t know where to start ...here’s how with (one of my closest friends) Emma RimmerEpisode 299. The costs of not being honest with yourSELFEpisode 304. What happened to my business when I stopped neglecting myselfEpisode 306: If doing more & trying harder isn’t working - do thisEpisode 311. Want your energy back? The hidden costs of complaining (& what to do instead)

I’m walking through my biggest lessons I’m taking from 2025 …and I invite you to reflect on your own year too. Let’s take a minute (or 30) to slow down, zoom out, and take what’s useful for your life and business, in a simple, non-overwhelming way.

LINKS:

The Inner Work Business Book Club: www.thrivewithnikkicross.co.uk/bookclub

Episodes mentioned / linked:Episode 186 - I miss my Mum (what to do in business when a significant support leaves your life)Episode 290. When you KNOW something needs to change but you don’t know where to start ...here’s how with (one of my closest friends) Emma RimmerEpisode 299. The costs of not being honest with yourSELFEpisode 304. What happened to my business when I stopped neglecting myselfEpisode 306: If doing more & trying harder isn’t working - do thisEpisode 311. Want your energy back? The hidden costs of complaining (& what to do instead)

Ellie Campagna / Rae Creative: www.raecreative.com

Instagram: @rae_creative

Book Club: https://www.thrivewithnikkicross.co.uk/bookclub

In this episode, I’m joined by Ellie Campagna, Founder of Rae Creative, for a powerful conversation about what it really looks like to stop forcing, trust yourself, and lead calmly at the next level of business. Ellie shares how she moved from second-guessing her decisions to feeling solid in her voice, her pricing, and her professional judgement …not by doing more, but by working on how she relates to uncertainty, discomfort, and self-belief.

This is an honest, grounded conversation about backing yourself, expanding your tolerance for uncertainty, and showing up differently when outcomes aren’t guaranteed.

If you’ve been pushing, overthinking, or quietly doubting yourself while outwardly succeeding, this episode will land.

LINKED EPISODES:

Ellie’s “Inner Work Conversation podcast Greatest Hits” playlist

Episode 297. Are you ready for the inner work? Here’s what I look for in MY clients...

Episode 286. The three things I do to keep my business ( & mySELF) on track

Episode 280. Powerful assumptions that will help you win in business

Episode 271. How I got better at handling uncertainty ...I wish I’d have known this sooner

Episode 234. When you just want to know it’ll all be ok...listen to this

Episode 189 Coping with uncertainty

Episode 223. THIS is how to be authentically YOU in business with Chloe from Studio Chloe David

Charlotte’s links:

Website: https://www.charlottegoss.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/systems.with.charlotte/?hl=en

The Book Club: https://www.thrivewithnikkicross.co.uk/bookclub

This week’s episode is for anyone who feels like they’re putting in the work but not seeing enough to show for it. That uncomfortable gap between effort and outcome. The moment you start wondering if it’s even working.

Your tipping point is coming. You just can’t see it yet. And holding your nerve in that middle bit is the thing most people never learn to do.

If you need perspective, reassurance or a straight-talking nudge to stay the course, this one will help.

LINKED EPISODES:

186 - What to do (in business) when someone significant isn’t in your Iife any more

296 - What I did when I wasn’t seeing results quick enough

271 - How I got better at handling uncertainty

257 - Business results and £££ don’t care how hard you work

241 - How to be steady in the storm

189 - Coping with uncertainty

Join the book club: https://www.thrivewithnikkicross.co.uk/bookclub

7 day free trial to the book club HERE: https://www.thrivewithnikkicross.co.uk/bookclub

Linked episodes:

70 - the false benefits of getting in your own way

157 - the false benefits of holding yourself back

275 - the half marathon on (self criticism, self doubt & all that…)

186 - What to do (in business) when someone significant isn’t in your Iife any more

7 day free trial to the book club is HERE: https://www.thrivewithnikkicross.co.uk/bookclub

Linked episodes:

152 - When results aren’t happening (quickly enough)

241 - Steady in the storm - how to hold your nerve when it matters most

189 - Coping with uncertainty

271 - How I got better at handling uncertainty

296 - I wasn’t getting results quick enough. Instead of giving up - here’s what I did

237 - How not to give up when it’s hard

JOIN THE BOOK CLUB HERE

143 - Keep falling off the wagon?

To join the Inner Work Business Book Club CLICK HERE: https://thrivewithnikkicross.co.uk/bookclub#joinbookclub

Join the Inner Work Business Book Club – we start Atomic Habits on 1st November, and every new member gets a bring-a-friend-for-free code (limited time only!)

Links mentioned in this episode:277 your brain is sabotaging you & you don’t even know it

268 the antidote to overthinking & procrastination

241 How to hold your nerve

If you’ve been throwing more time, effort, and willpower at your goals and it’s still not clicking… this episode is for you.I’m sharing the story of how changing my environment - not my strategy - made growth feel easier, more natural, and more sustainable. We’ll talk about the subtle ways your surroundings can hold you back (without you realising), and how to create an environment that actually supports your success.

You’ll learn:

* Why your willpower isn’t the problem …your environment might be

* How being surrounded by people doing hard things as normal changes everything

* What to do when you feel out of your depth in new spaces

* How accountability and proximity make growth inevitable

* Why this applies as much to business as it does to fitness

Join the Inner Work Business Book Club - surround yourself with people doing the work alongside you.

LINKED EPISODES:

305 - How to close the gap between what you say you want and your actions

241 - How to hold your nerve when it matters most

237 - How to not give up when it’s hard

142 - What if it took less time, and more…

Related episodes:

* 208. Are you playing to win or playing to NOT lose

* 203. The costs of dodging disapproval

* 137. Being yourself in business

* 271. How I got better at handling uncertainty

Join the book club HERE: https://www.thrivewithnikkicross.co.uk/bookclub

Message me / tag me on Instagram

JOIN MY BOOK CLUB HERE

Hear my members talk about their experience of the book club HERE for Emma’s episode and HERE for Lisa’s episode

JOIN MY BOOK CLUB HERE

Hear my members talk about their experience of the book club HERE for Emma’s episode and HERE for Lisa’s episode

Join the Inner Work Bootcamp HERE (doors open from 25th - 28th September 2025)

Join the Book Club HERE

Message me on Instagram HERE

Sign up to the “I’m interested” list HERE: https://courses.thrivewithnikkicross.co.uk/pl/2148700699 …and you’ll not only be the first to be able to sign up to the Bootcamp (12 weeks, 12 spaces) …but you’ll also get an invite to my FREE “GET UNSTUCK” workshop & replay

Also mentioned:

The BOOK CLUB - join HERE (7 day free trial)

Episodes:

275 - How *I* handle comparison, self doubt & my inner critic - reflections from running a half marathon

How to make REAL progress and get unstuck

Sign up to the “I’m interested” list HERE: https://courses.thrivewithnikkicross.co.uk/pl/2148700699 …and you’ll not only be the first to be able to sign up to the Bootcamp (12 weeks, 12 spaces) …but you’ll also get an invite to my FREE “GET UNSTUCK” workshop & replay

Also mentioned:

The BOOK CLUB - join HERE (7 day free trial)

Episodes:

275 - How *I* handle comparison, self doubt & my inner critic - reflections from running a half marathon

How to make REAL progress and get unstuck

Sign up to the “I’m interested” list HERE: https://courses.thrivewithnikkicross.co.uk/pl/2148700699 …and you’ll not only be the first to be able to sign up to the Bootcamp (12 weeks, 12 spaces) …but you’ll also get an invite to my FREE “GET UNSTUCK” workshop & replay

Also mentioned:

The BOOK CLUB - join HERE (7 day free trial)

Episodes on ‘being busy’:

86 - the REAL pandemic “keeping busy”

162 - The expensive costs of your avoidance

173 - HOW to be less BUSY

Episodes on ‘self honesty’:

181 - Learning how to trust yourself is a profitable skill

185 - The truth about the ‘inner work’

230 - Who are you when nobody is watching

MESSAGE ME ON IG WITH ALL / ANY QUESTIONS

MY LINKS:

Link to join the book club HERE

Link to join the Inner Work Club HERE

Link to the Leadership Clinic HERE

Book an enquiry call with me

Message me on Instagram

CHECK OUT LIZ/S WORK HERE : https://www.instagram.com/thefemmegenius/?hl=en

CHECK OUT THE PATTERN APP HERE:

https://www.thepattern.com/

Add yourself to the “I’m interested” list HERE

Episodes linked:

* Powerful assumptions you can make in business

* 37 – Pacing yourself when you want it to happen NOW

* 47 – How to feel your feelings

* 74 - How to take responsibility of yourself

* 142 – What if it took less time, but more...

* The costs of impatience

* 237 – How to not give up when it’s hard

* 241 – Hold your nerve

MY LINKS:

LET’S WORK TOGETHER…

Link to join the book club HERE

Link to join the Inner Work Club HERE

Link to the Leadership Clinic HERE

Book an enquiry call with me

Message me on Instagram

LET’S WORK TOGETHER…

Link to join the book club HERE

Link to join the Inner Work Club HERE

Link to the Leadership Clinic HERE

Book an enquiry call with me

Message me on Instagram

LINKED EPISODES:

* 37 –Why you should pace yourself

* 47 – How to feel your feelings

* 72 – Learning how to not give up

* 142 – What if it took less time, but more...

* 152 – I wasn’t getting results quick enough

* 176 - the costs of impatience in business

* 189 - Coping with uncertainty

* 237 – How to not give up when it’s hard

* 241 – How to hold your nerve

* 271 - How I got better at handling uncertainty

* Bonus – Are you giving up too quick?

* Bonus – Dealing with disappointment

LET’S WORK TOGETHER…

Link to join the book club HERE

Link to join the Inner Work Club HERE

Link to the Leadership Clinic HERE

Book an enquiry call with me

Message me on Instagram

Other linked episodes:

82 - How to ‘do’ self reflection

105 Building self assurance (with journal prompts)

217 How to deal with the negative stories in your head

236 Dealing with perfectionism & not feeling good enough

275 How to handle comparison & self doubt

272 What if self doubt is just a dangerous distraction?

251 You’re good, not deluded

235 - Handling imposter syndrome & a busy mind

280 - Powerful assumptions that will help you win in business

LET’S WORK TOGETHER…

Link to join the book club HERE

Link to join the Inner Work Club HERE

Link to the Leadership Clinic HERE

Book an enquiry call with me

Message me on Instagram

LINKED EPISODES:

273. Secretly sabotaging? Here’s how to stop

* How to get out of your own way

190 The suprising thing that will happen when you get unstuck

157 the false benefits of holding yourself back

LET’S WORK TOGETHER…

Link to join the book club HERE

Link to join the Inner Work Club HERE

Link to the Leadership Clinic HERE

Book an enquiry call with me

Message me on Instagram

Linked episodes:

280 - Powerful assumptions that will help you win in business

281 - What I’m learning about self assurance and personal power

283 - You haven’ tdone anything wrong - your brain is just telling you you have

266 - Why overcomplicating things is actually self sabotage

105 - Building self assurance with journal prompts

Mentioned other episodes:

56 - Grit, grace, adversity & acceptance

My links:

WORK WITH ME…

Link to join the book club HERE

Link to join the Inner Work Club HERE

Link to the Leadership Clinic HERE

Book an enquiry call with me

Message me on Instagram

LINKS:

Join the book club - 7 day free trial

Emma’s episode

Lisa’s episode

It’s not just abouot the money..

The silent consequences of unactioned choices

LINKED: JOIN THE BOOK CLUB HERE

Episode 278 - it’s not just about the money

Join the book club: https://www.thrivewithnikkicross.co.uk/bookclub#joinbookclub

Visit Lisa’s website: https://www.lp-physio.com/my-story

Connect with Lisa on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lp.physio.pilates/

WORK WITH ME…

Link to join the book club HERE

Link to join the Inner Work Club HERE

Link to the Leadership Clinic HERE

Book an enquiry call with me

Message me on Instagram

WORK WITH ME…

Link to join the book club HERE

Link to join the Inner Work Club HERE

Link to the Leadership Clinic HERE

Book an enquiry call with me

Message me on Instagram

WORK WITH ME…

Link to join the book club HERE

Link to join the Inner Work Club HERE

Link to the Leadership Clinic HERE

Book an enquiry call with me

Message me on Instagram