Explore every episode of the podcast The High Conflict Blueprint | For Stepmoms Dealing with a Toxic or Narcissistic Ex

There's a common trap you might recognise. You might even be in it right now.

I call it 'Invisible and Blamed'.

Essentially, you do all these things for your stepkids – you remember the sports uniform, you sort dinner, you help with homework, school pickups, washing, schedule changes. And nobody really notices what you do. It becomes invisible.

Until something goes wrong. Or, more accurately, until the ex complains that something went wrong. Then suddenly everybody notices. And apparently it's your fault.

It wouldn't be so bad if your partner wasn't in on it too. He just seems to go along with whatever the ex says, to “keep the peace". So you decide "Well fine, I'm not helping anymore. Do it all yourself". Or you just quietly seethe.

But neither of these is really working is it.

So what do you actually do? I'm going to show you today.

👉 Episode Show Notes

🔍 Not sure if your partner's ex is truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz

📩 Join my list. My emails are where I share things I don't share anywhere else (because I don’t just teach this stuff, I actually live it). Join here: highconflictblueprint.com/email

🎙️Got a question or situation you'd like me to cover on the podcast? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/questions

Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional legal or mental health advice.

What do you do when your stepchild comes back from their mother's and is suddenly cold towards you?

The kid was fine when she left. Now she's barely speaking to you. She doesn’t want a hug. She seems irritated by you just being there.

And now you're thinking, “Is her mother turning her against me?”

It’s the hurt of being rejected. The fear that her mother is brainwashing her. The fear that your partner can’t or won’t do anything about it.

And often, the things we do to try to fix it can actually make the situation worse.

Today I’m talking about what could be going on when your stepchild comes home like a different child, and what actually helps.

👉 Episode Show Notes

🔍 Not sure if your partner's ex is truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz

📩 Join my list. My emails are where I share things I don't share anywhere else (because I don’t just teach this stuff, I actually live it). Join here: highconflictblueprint.com/email

🎙️Got a question or situation you'd like me to cover on the podcast? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/questions

Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional legal or mental health advice.

Have you ever looked at something the ex has done and thought...

“What the f*ck??”

She makes decisions without your partner and then complains that she has to do everything. She bangs on about how much the kids hate you when they’ve been perfectly fine with you.

It makes no sense. 

But today I want to show you that a lot of her behaviour actually does make sense – if you know the story she's telling herself. 

The story about who she is, who you are, who your partner is, how she’s been wronged…

Because this story connects together everything she does. And if you understand what it is, it can make dealing with her a whole lot less frustrating.

Today I’ll show you how to find that story.

👉 Episode Show Notes

🔍 Not sure if your partner's ex is truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz

📩 Join my list. My emails are where I share things I don't share anywhere else (because I don’t just teach this stuff, I actually live it). Join here: highconflictblueprint.com/email

🎙️Got a question or situation you'd like me to cover on the podcast? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/questions

Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional legal or mental health advice.

You know that feeling when you're going somewhere you know the ex is going to be, like a school concert, or a birthday, or a handover. And you’re already dreading it.

You wonder if she’s going to come over. Will she start an uncomfortable conversation? Accuse you of something? Or will she ignore you. Or act friendly, then twist things later. 

So then you decide maybe it’s easier not to go at all. So you don’t have to deal with it. 

Or maybe you try to tell yourself that it’ll be fine, that you’re being ridiculous. But that doesn’t stop the dread at the thought of seeing her. 

Today, I'll show you how to handle this on your own terms. Because you don't need to know what she's going to do, you just need to know what you're going to do.

👉 Episode Show Notes

👉 Get the 30 Minute Reset: highconflictblueprint.com/reset

🔍 Not sure if your partner's ex is truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz

📩 Join my list. My emails are where I share things I don't share anywhere else (because I don’t just teach this stuff, I actually live it). Join here: highconflictblueprint.com/email

🎙️Got a question or situation you'd like me to cover on the podcast? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/questions

Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional legal or mental health advice.

You know that moment you've been triggered and you just react. You say or do something you later regret. 

Like you're at pickup, and the ex says something in front of the kids, and before you know it you’re having an argument with your partner on the way home about it.

And then you spiral into all these thoughts. Thinking about what she said. What you should have said back. What your partner is thinking. You lose the evening arguing with your partner. You lose sleep. You’re distracted at work.

And later you’re thinking, “how did that happen? I don't even want to be doing that.” But it’s like you just can’t help it. 

Most of us only recognise that we’ve been triggered once we’ve already reacted, when it's too late to stop it. But your reaction doesn’t come out of nowhere. You have a trigger pattern. 

Once you can see it, you can catch it earlier – before the spiral completely takes over your day.

👉 Get the 30 Minute Reset: highconflictblueprint.com/reset

👉 Episode Show Notes

🔍 Not sure if your partner's ex is truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz

📩 Join my list. My emails are where I share things I don't share anywhere else (because I don’t just teach this stuff, I actually live it). Join here: highconflictblueprint.com/email

🎙️Got a question or situation you'd like me to cover on the podcast? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/questions

Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional legal or mental health advice.

You helped with school pickup – and you were criticized for overstepping. So you stopped – now you're accused of not caring about the kids.

Eventually you start wondering what you're doing wrong. Because you're just trying to fit into this family, but everything you do just seems to make things worse.

Welcome to the world of the no-win stepmum, where no matter what you do, it's wrong. Most stepmums dealing with a high conflict ex find themselves here. 

So what exactly are you supposed to do? I'm going to answer that question today.

👉 Episode Show Notes

🔍 Not sure if your partner's ex is truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz

📩 Join my list. My emails are where I share things I don't share anywhere else (because I don’t just teach this stuff, I actually live it). Join here: highconflictblueprint.com/email

🎙️Got a question or situation you'd like me to cover on the podcast? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/questions

Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional legal or mental health advice.

You've decided to meet with the high conflict ex. 

That means you’ll be sitting across from someone you don't trust, in a conversation where you have no control over what she says or does. It’s enough to send you into a spiral. 

If this was a meeting with a reasonable person, then you could just turn up, have a normal conversation, and leave. 

But dealing with someone with a history of conflict is different. You can't assume the conversation will stay on topic, remain respectful, or end when it's supposed to.

Most stepmums make the same mistakes. They don’t prepare, they get caught off guard and set themselves up for trouble. 

This episode is your preparation – so you can walk in steady, stay in control, and leave on your terms.

👉 Episode Show Notes

🔍 Not sure if your partner's ex is truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz

📩 Join my list. My emails are where I share things I don't share anywhere else (because I don’t just teach this stuff, I actually live it). Join here: highconflictblueprint.com/email

🎙️Got a question or situation you'd like me to cover on the podcast? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/questions

Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional legal or mental health advice.

So... the high conflict ex wants to meet with you.

She says “it’s not unreasonable to want to meet the woman who’ll be living with my kids.”

And it’s not unreasonable... if it was coming from someone reasonable. 

You immediately know this is a loaded invitation. Now you feel trapped between two bad options – meet and risk being interrogated and having your words twisted, or refuse and risk being painted as rude and uncooperative. 

So is saying yes the right thing to do? 

Does saying no make you look like the problem? 

Today I’m going to show you what’s really behind this meeting request, and how to decide whether to say yes or no. 

👉 Episode Show Notes

🔍 Not sure if your partner's ex is truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz

📩 Join my list. My emails are where I share things I don't share anywhere else (because I don’t just teach this stuff, I actually live it). Join here: highconflictblueprint.com/email

🎙️Got a question or situation you'd like me to cover on the podcast? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/questions

Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional legal or mental health advice.

You're suspicious. Of course you are. The ex has been hostile for months. And then one day… she’s suddenly being nice. 

It's weird. She must be up to something. 

But no one else seems to think so. Your partner thinks things are settling down. Maybe your friends think she's finally coming around.

And now you wonder –  am I just cynical?  

Today I'm going to show you what's really behind this weird ‘nice’ behaviour of hers, and what to do the next time it happens.

👉 Episode Show Notes

🔍 Not sure if your partner's ex is truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz

📩 Join my list. My emails are where I share things I don't share anywhere else (because I don’t just teach this stuff, I actually live it). Join here: highconflictblueprint.com/email

🎙️Got a question or situation you'd like me to cover on the podcast? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/questions

Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional legal or mental health advice.

You set a boundary. You meant it. Then the ex lost her s**t, your partner caved, and you backed down. Now you're back where you started. 

Here's the thing. The reason this happens is not just because boundaries are hard. It's because most of us don't actually know how to hold a boundary. 

Holding a boundary is a skill. And today, I'm going to show you how to do it. 

👉 Ep 13: Setting Boundaries With the Ex When You're Terrified of What She’ll Do 

👉 Grab my FREE Escalation-Proof Boundary Planner – identify all the ways the ex might push back and what you'll do to protect yourself

👉 Ep 47: How to Finally Step Back from the Drama… & Stay There (Part 3/3)

👉 Episode Show Notes

🔍 Not sure if your partner's ex is truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz

📩 Join my list. My emails are where I share things I don't share anywhere else (because I don’t just teach this stuff, I actually live it). Join here: highconflictblueprint.com/email

🎙️Got a question or situation you'd like me to cover on the podcast? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/questions

Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional legal or mental health advice.

Boundaries with a high conflict ex are harder than anyone tells you. In this Q&A I'm answering real boundary questions from stepmums:

• She ignores every boundary we set. How do you actually get a high conflict ex to respect them?
• She keeps contacting me directly. Should I say something – or just block her?
• Every time I ignore her I feel so guilty, and then I give in. How do I stop?
• I resent my partner for not setting boundaries. Am I wasting my energy trying to help him?
• I set a boundary, the ex retaliated and I backed down. What do I do now?

👉 Episode Show Notes

👉 Ep 8: When Your Partner Won’t Set Boundaries With the Ex 

👉 Ep 45: When Stepping Back from the Drama Isn't Working (Part 1/3) 

👉 Ep 13: Setting Boundaries With the Ex When You're Terrified of What She’ll Do 

👉 Grab my FREE Escalation-Proof Boundary Planner, so you can set your first boundary today and know exactly what to do when she pushes back. 

🔍 Not sure if your partner's ex is truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz

📩 Join my list. My emails are where I share things I don't share anywhere else (because I don’t just teach this stuff, I actually live it). Join here: highconflictblueprint.com/email

🎙️Got a question or situation you'd like me to cover on the podcast? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/questions

Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional legal or mental health advice.

You're pregnant. You and your partner are building something together. Something that is finally, completely, entirely yours. This was supposed to be one of the best moments of your life. 

But instead of just getting to enjoy it, you're already thinking about what the high conflict ex is going to do to ruin it. The threats. The financial demands. The things she'll say to the kids.

This is supposed to be your moment and you feel like she's stealing it. 

Today I'm talking about why she's doing it and how to protect your pregnancy from the high conflict ex so she doesn't take your energy, your health and your happiness. 

If you're pregnant, or planning to be – you need to hear this.

👉 Episode Show Notes

🔍 Not sure if your partner's ex is truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz

📩 Join my list. My emails are where I share things I don't share anywhere else (because I don’t just teach this stuff, I actually live it). Join here: highconflictblueprint.com/email

🎙️Got a question or situation you'd like me to cover on the podcast? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/questions

Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional legal or mental health advice.

There's a difference between deciding to step back and actually being able to stay there.

From the kind of stepping back where you decide to stop doing something but inside you're still fuming... to the kind where you can actually step back, without the resentment or guilt.

This is part 3 of my series on disengaging from the drama – and this is the episode that takes you from "I've tried stepping back and it never works" to "I finally know how to step back and stay there."

👉 Episode Show Notes

🔍 Not sure if your partner's ex is truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz

📩 Join my list. My emails are where I share things I don't share anywhere else (because I don’t just teach this stuff, I actually live it). Join here: highconflictblueprint.com/email

🎙️Got a question or situation you'd like me to cover on the podcast? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/questions

Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional legal or mental health advice.

You told yourself you were done stepping in. So why do you keep ending up in the middle of the drama again?

Something is keeping you emotionally tied – and once you understand what it is, what you're doing starts to make sense.

In this episode I'm going to show you exactly what's going on and give you something practical you can use today to start to change it. 

This is part 2 on my series on disengaging – not from your partner, or your family, but from needing something to go a certain way in order for you to feel okay about it. 

And once you learn that skill, you’ll be able to step back without the guilt or resentment. 

👉 Episode Show Notes

🔍 Not sure if your partner's ex is truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz

📩 Join my list. My emails are where I share things I don't share anywhere else (because I don’t just teach this stuff, I actually live it). Join here: highconflictblueprint.com/email

🎙️Got a question or situation you'd like me to cover on the podcast? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/questions

Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional legal or mental health advice.

You've tried stepping back. Maybe more than once. You told yourself you were going to let your partner handle it. That you've had enough of dealing with the drama. 

And for a little while, it almost worked.

But then he came home stressed after dealing with the ex. Or his phone went off with her endless messages. And before you knew it, you were right back in the middle – managing, fixing, trying to hold it all together. Again.

So why does stepping back feel impossible? 

It's not because you're not trying hard enough. It's because stepping back on its own isn't enough. 

You can change what you do a hundred times over – you can stop drafting his replies, stop dealing with the ex yourself, stop managing the kids. But if what's driving it hasn't shifted, you'll keep ending up back in the same place.

Today we're talking about the skill of disengaging. Not from your family, but from the outcome. And why it's the part that's been missing. 

👉 Episode Show Notes

🔍 Not sure if your partner's ex is truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz

📩 Join my list. My emails are where I share things I don't share anywhere else (because I don’t just teach this stuff, I actually live it). Join here: highconflictblueprint.com/email

🎙️Got a question or situation you'd like me to cover on the podcast? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/questions

Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional legal or mental health advice.

You know you shouldn't react to the ex. But understanding that and actually doing it in the moment are two different things.

In this Q&A episode, I'm answering real communication questions from stepmums:

• She sent accusations I had nothing to do with. I didn't respond – did I do the right thing?
• If I don't defend myself, won't she just think she's right?
• Every time I ignore her, she gets worse. What am I doing wrong?
• She keeps threatening to take it to her lawyer. Do we have to respond?
• I know I shouldn't react – but how do I actually stay calm in the moment?
• After I respond, I can't stop going over it in my head. How do I let it go?
• I've changed how I respond but my partner still reacts to everything. How do I get him on board?

These are the exact situations stepmums deal with every day. Here's what to do in each one.

👉 FREE GUIDE DOWNLOAD – Don’t get stuck in conversations that always seem to escalate. Stay calm (no matter what she sends) with this simple 5-step plan + 10 copy-paste responses: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast-free-guide

👉 Episode Show Notes

🔍 Not sure if your partner's ex is truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz

📩 Join my list. My emails are where I share things I don't share anywhere else (because I don’t just teach this stuff, I actually live it). Join here: highconflictblueprint.com/email

🎙️Got a question or situation you'd like me to cover on the podcast? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/questions

Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional legal or mental health advice.

You're terrified this court battle is going to cost you everything – your money, your relationship, yourself.

The legal fees are bleeding you both dry. And it costs you in ways that go beyond that – the holidays you can't take, the house you can't buy, a future that keeps getting pushed further out. 

And the arguments between you two are getting more frequent.

Going through an endless custody battle gets inside your head. And it starts to change who you are. You're more anxious than you used to be. More reactive. More resentful. 

And you don’t like who you're becoming.

When you're in it, it feels like there's no way out. But there is. And this episode will show you that you have more control than you think – and that this court battle doesn't have to destroy everything.

👉 Episode Show Notes

🔍 Not sure if your partner's ex is truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz

📩 Join my list. My emails are where I share things I don't share anywhere else (because I don’t just teach this stuff, I actually live it). Join here: highconflictblueprint.com/email

🎙️Got a question or situation you'd like me to cover on the podcast? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/questions

Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional legal or mental health advice.

When you’re going through family court, everything you say, everything you do – the ex could twist it and use it against you. 

So you and your partner have been treading carefully. Explaining every time she accuses you of anything because you don’t want it to look like she’s right.

You're probably also letting her bad behaviour slide. Avoiding things you shouldn't be avoiding. Because the last thing you want is to hand her ammunition she can twist for court. 

And that fear makes perfect sense. She really does twist everything. 

But the irony is that in trying to protect your case, you're actually undermining it. Because every time you back down, it’s costing you the very evidence you need. And every time you over-explain, you're quietly building hers.

This episode shows you how to avoid the mistakes that are costing you your case, and shows you exactly what to do to make sure that your case is strong – and hers falls apart.

If you're in court or heading for a custody battle, this is an episode you can't afford to miss.

👉 The No Drama Script Pack – A quick way to respond to high conflict messages from the ex without escalating or overthinking: highconflictblueprint.com/no-drama-script-pack

👉 Episode Show Notes: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast/mistakes-that-destroy-your-family-court-case

🔍 Not sure if your partner's ex is truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz

📩 Join my list. My emails are where I share things I don't share anywhere else (because I don’t just teach this stuff, I actually live it). Join here: highconflictblueprint.com/email

🎙️Got a question or situation you'd like me to cover on the podcast? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/questions

Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional legal or mental health advice.

You've watched it happen. She walks into a custody battle confident, emotional, compelling – and somehow, she's believable, even when pretty much everything she claims is false. 

Meanwhile, your partner walks in with the truth. And the truth should be enough, right? 

It's not. Not when you're up against a high conflict ex.

And here's why. High conflict people are skilled at presenting their story. They know exactly the impression they want to leave.  

And unless your partner knows how to do the same thing, the ex is going to keep winning.

So in order to get the outcome you want, you need a strategy. Today, I'm going to show you what that is.

👉 Episode Show Notes: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast/how-to-win-against-a-high-conflict-ex-family-court

🔍 Not sure if your partner's ex is truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz

📩 Join my list. My emails are where I share things I don't share anywhere else (because I don’t just teach this stuff, I actually live it). Join here: highconflictblueprint.com/email

🎙️Got a question or situation you'd like me to cover on the podcast? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/questions

Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional legal or mental health advice.

You've read the ex's affidavit – the one that described your home as unstable, your partner as irresponsible, you as a bad influence on the kids. And you thought... surely the judge will see through this. Surely the truth will come out.

And then it didn't.

If you've ever been through family court with a high conflict ex and walked away wondering how she keeps getting the outcome she wants – this episode will finally give you an answer.

Because the court isn't doing what you think it's doing. It's not uncovering the truth. It's evaluating stories. And the high conflict ex? She's been telling her distorted stories – with total conviction – her entire life.

This episode is about finally understanding why family court keeps going her way. And once you do, you'll never walk into a legal battle with her the same way again.

👉 Episode Show Notes: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast/why-ex-keeps-winning-family-court

🔍 Not sure if your partner's ex is truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz

📩 Join my list. My emails are where I share things I don't share anywhere else (because I don’t just teach this stuff, I actually live it). Join here: highconflictblueprint.com/email

🎙️Got a question or situation you'd like me to cover on the podcast? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/questions

Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional legal or mental health advice.

Another lawyer letter. Another court threat from the ex. Here we go again.

You know how this goes. You and your partner spend time, money, and energy going through a whole court process that ends up... usually where you already were. 

And just when life starts to settle down again, something else comes up. A new complaint. And it starts again.

It's not just the cost, the time, and the stress of family court. It's also what it does to the rest of your life. It’s hard to build anything stable when every time things settle down, she comes back and disrupts it with a new threat. 

The question is.. why does she keep doing this? 

I’ll be doing a few episodes on court over the next few weeks, and today, I'm starting with that question. Why?

👉 Episode Show Notes: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast/why-the-ex-keeps-taking-you-to-court

🔍 Not sure if your partner's ex is truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz

📩 Join my list. My emails are where I share things I don't share anywhere else (because I don’t just teach this stuff, I actually live it). Join here: highconflictblueprint.com/email

🎙️Got a question or situation you'd like me to cover on the podcast? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/questions

Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional legal or mental health advice.

Draft. Delete. Rewrite. Delete. An hour later, you're still there, trying to figure out how to answer the ex's latest awful message in a way that doesn't set her off again. 

But no matter how carefully you word it, no matter how reasonable you are, it never lands the way you hope. 

And tomorrow, or next week, there'll be another message, and you'll be right back here again. Hoping that this time, if you just get the wording right, she'll finally hear you.

But she won’t. Because she's not waiting for your answer. She's waiting for your reaction. And every time you explain or defend or justify – she gets leverage. You're not in a conversation, you're in an endurance test. And you will lose because she will go as long as she needs to go to exhaust you.

There is only one thing that lowers the conflict. And it's not better words – it's less words. Today I'm going to show you exactly how to do it – and I'm revealing two new tools that will help you stop agonising each time a message comes through. No overthinking required. 

👉 The No Drama Script Pack – A quick way to respond to high conflict messages from the ex without escalating or overthinking: highconflictblueprint.com/no-drama-script-pack 

👉 The No Drama Responder – A guided GPT that walks you step by step through handling every high conflict message calmly and strategically: highconflictblueprint.com/no-drama-responder 

👉 FREE Communication Guide –  Don’t get stuck in conversations that always seem to escalate. Stay calm (no matter what she sends) with this simple 5-step plan: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast-free-guide

👉 Episode Show Notes

🔍 Not sure if your partner's ex is truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz

📩 Join my list. My emails are where I share things I don't share anywhere else (because I don’t just teach this stuff, I actually live it). Join here: highconflictblueprint.com/email

🎙️Got a question or situation you'd like me to cover on the podcast? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/questions

Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional legal or mental health advice.

When was the last time you did something that had nothing to do with her?

Something that was just yours. Not about managing the kids. Not about your partner's stress. Not about the next court date or the latest text. 

Maybe you can't even remember.

Because right now, dealing with a high conflict ex takes up your time, your energy, your thoughts, your conversations.

And without even realising it, the things you used to care about have disappeared. Your goals. Your friendships. The parts of yourself that felt alive.

You tell yourself "Once things calm down, then I'll have time." But things never calm down. 

And meanwhile, you're stuck. Waiting. 

Today, I want to show you how to make your life bigger than this problem – so she becomes what she actually is. A minor, irritating part of your life that doesn't get to take over everything else.

👉 Episode Show Notes: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast/lost-self-drama-toxic-ex

🔍 Not sure if your partner's ex is truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz

📩 Join my list. My emails are where I share things I don't share anywhere else (because I don’t just teach this stuff, I actually live it). Join here: highconflictblueprint.com/email

🎙️Got a question or situation you'd like me to cover on the podcast? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/questions

Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional legal or mental health advice.

You didn't know it was going to be like this.

When you started this relationship, you thought the drama would settle down. That things would get easier. That eventually, you'd get to just enjoy your life together.

But here you are – 1 year in, maybe 2 or 3, maybe even more – and you're still waiting for that future to arrive.

And now the reality is starting to sink in. This might not change. It might always be like this. 

And the thought of that can leave you feeling exhausted, numb, and maybe even questioning everything. 

If that's where you are right now, I want to talk to you about how to get through this.

👉 Episode Show Notes: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast/losing-hope-high-conflict-ex

🔍 Not sure if your partner's ex is truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz

📩 Join my list. My emails are where I share things I don't share anywhere else (because I don’t just teach this stuff, I actually live it). Join here: highconflictblueprint.com/email

🎙️Got a question or situation you'd like me to cover on the podcast? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/questions

Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional legal or mental health advice.

Six years ago, I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

Because you don't know what this is like until you're in it, and then you don't know what to do to fix it.

But here's what I've learned since then – four truths that completely changed how I handle this situation with the high conflict ex. 

If you're burnt out from trying everything and getting nowhere, and you're wondering if you'll ever figure this out – this episode will give you the answers you need.

I learned the hard way – but you don’t have to. 

👉 Episode Show Notes

👉 All my tools for dealing with the high conflict ex in one place: highconflictblueprint.com/tools

🔍 Not sure if your partner's ex is truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz

📩 Join my list. My emails are where I share things I don't share anywhere else (because I don’t just teach this stuff, I actually live it). Join here: highconflictblueprint.com/email

🎙️Got a question or situation you'd like me to cover on the podcast? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/questions

Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional legal or mental health advice.

The ex didn't tell your partner about the doctor's appointment. Again.

Or the school event. Or the medication change. Or the parent-teacher conference.

And now he’s calling the doctor, the pharmacy, the school, trying to piece together what's happening with his own child. You've watched this happen so many times. 

And here's what makes it so frustrating – he keeps trying to get her to communicate. But it never works. Because this isn't about poor communication. It's about control.

Today I'll show you what's really happening when she withholds information, and what you and your partner can do about it.

👉 Episode Show Notes: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast/ex-withholds-information-about-kids

🔍 Not sure if your partner's ex is truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz

📩 Join my list. My emails are where I share things I don't share anywhere else (because I don’t just teach this stuff, I actually live it). Join here: highconflictblueprint.com/email

🎙️Got a question or situation you'd like me to cover on the podcast? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/questions

Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional legal or mental health advice.

Things have been quiet lately. And now suddenly, there's chaos.

A lawyer letter. A sudden accusation. A demand that makes absolutely no sense.

And you're standing there thinking "What did we do? Where is this even coming from?"

But there WAS a trigger. You just missed it. 

The problem with that though, is if you don’t know where the escalation is coming from, you end up wasting energy on the wrong problem.

In this episode, I'll show you how to find the trigger and reveal the pattern underneath – so you stop trying to solve the problem she's claiming exists, and start seeing the problem that actually exists.

Because once you see what’s actually driving the escalation, you'll be able to see what actions are worth your energy – and what's not.

👉 Show Notes: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast/why-she-escalates-when-nothing-happened

🔍 Not sure if your partner's ex is truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz

📩 Join my list. My emails are where I share things I don't share anywhere else (because I don’t just teach this stuff, I actually live it). Join here: highconflictblueprint.com/email

🎙️Got a question or situation you'd like me to cover on the podcast? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/questions

Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional legal or mental health advice.

You're doing all the work to keep things civil. You manage yourself. You think before you respond. You try to stay calm when you want to scream.

And the ex? She gets to do whatever she wants. She sends nasty texts, creates chaos, manipulates the kids, and faces no consequences whatsoever.

And it's unfair that you have to be the bigger person while she’s the one being awful.

But that unfairness isn't the thing that's hurting you most. It's the resentment you're carrying about it. And that resentment is costing you more than you think.

In this episode, I'm going to show you what this is actually taking from you, and how to stop paying the price for her bad behaviour.

👉 Episode Show Notes

🔍 Not sure if your partner's ex is truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz

📩 Join my list. My emails are where I share things I don't share anywhere else (because I don’t just teach this stuff, I actually live it). Join here: highconflictblueprint.com/email

🎙️Got a question or situation you'd like me to cover on the podcast? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/questions

Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional legal or mental health advice.

Imagine having a system where you can stop spiralling within 30 minutes after you’ve been triggered by the ex. 

Not three hours. Not three days. 30 minutes.

You know you shouldn't engage when she sends those messages. You know you should have boundaries. You know you should stay calm.

But here's the problem. You can't. You’re triggered, and you can’t stop the mental loop. 

And even though you told yourself you wouldn't engage this time – you find yourself doing it anyway. You respond. You defend. You explain. And then you're angry with yourself on top of everything else.

But what if you had a simple, step-by-step plan you could pull out the moment you're triggered to stop that mental loop. So you can decide how to respond instead of just reacting and regretting it later.

In this episode, I'm showing you the system I use to stop the spiral fast. It's practical, it's doable, and it works.

👉 Get the 30 Minute Reset: highconflictblueprint.com/reset

👉 Episode Show Notes:

🔍 Not sure if your partner's ex is truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz

📩 Join my list. My emails are where I share things I don't share anywhere else (because I don’t just teach this stuff, I actually live it). Join here: highconflictblueprint.com/email

🎙️Got a question or situation you'd like me to cover on the podcast? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/questions

Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional legal or mental health advice.

You know that feeling when you've been triggered.

She sends that text, makes that comment, and instantly, you feel shaky. Then you react. Maybe you snap. Maybe you say something you regret.

And then the spiral starts.

Hours later, you're still thinking about it. You try to focus on work – but you can't. That night, you're awake at 2am, still replaying it.

The next day, you're exhausted. Short-tempered. And beating yourself up. "Why can't I just let this go?"

Well, there's a good reason why you can't. And once you understand what's actually happening in your brain when you get triggered and why you can't stop the spiral, it becomes a lot easier to see the way out.

👉 Episode Show Notes: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast/spiral-after-high-conflict-ex-triggers

🔍 Not sure if your partner's ex is truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz

📩 Join my list. My emails are where I share things I don't share anywhere else (because I don’t just teach this stuff, I actually live it). Join here: highconflictblueprint.com/email

🎙️Got a question or situation you'd like me to cover on the podcast? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/questions

Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional legal or mental health advice.

Imagine the ex tries to manipulate you, and you just... don't react.

Instead, you just go about your day. She has no power over you.

Sounds nice, right? But that's not what's happening.

What's actually happening is this – she says something and immediately you're frustrated. You start explaining. Defending. She comes back with something ridiculous. Now you're angry. And the cycle continues.

Here's why you can’t stop – you're trying to force yourself to stay calm while your brain desperately wants you to defend yourself. That's exhausting and it doesn't work.

In this episode, I'm showing you how to genuinely not react to her manipulation, so you can finally break the cycle.

👉 Episode Show Notes: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast/gray-rock-high-conflict-ex-manipulation

🔍 Not sure if your partner's ex is truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz

📩 Join my list. My emails are where I share things I don't share anywhere else (because I don’t just teach this stuff, I actually live it). Join here: highconflictblueprint.com/email

🎙️Got a question or situation you'd like me to cover on the podcast? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/questions

Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional legal or mental health advice.

You walk away from a conversation with the ex and feel... confused. Guilty, even.

You know she was in the wrong. But somehow, by the end of it, you or your partner were apologising. Did she just manipulate you? Or are you just overthinking it?

Here's the truth – if you're confused, there's a good chance you're being manipulated.

And the worst part is that you can start doubting yourself. Maybe you ARE remembering it wrong. Maybe this really IS your fault.

But it's not. And toady, I'm going to show you why.

I'll walk you through the most common manipulation tactics high conflict people use, how to recognise them, and most importantly, how to stop yourself from being manipulated. 

This is essential listening if you've ever felt like you're losing your mind after an interaction with her.

👉 Episode Show Notes: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast/toxic-ex-manipulation

🔍 Not sure if your partner's ex is truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz

📩 Join my list. My emails are where I share things I don't share anywhere else (because I don’t just teach this stuff, I actually live it). Join here: highconflictblueprint.com/email

🎙️Got a question or situation you'd like me to cover on the podcast? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/questions

Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional legal or mental health advice.

There's this question mark that seems to follow you everywhere.

It causes you to hesitate before walking into school events. To second-guess when helping the kids with homework. "Do I even belong in this family?"

You didn't used to feel this way. You came into this relationship confident. Ready to be part of the family. 

But now you wonder if maybe the ex is right. Maybe you are overstepping. Maybe you’re not helping. Everyone tells you she's just jealous. That you should ignore it. But that doesn't stop the doubt, does it? Because deep down, you're not sure anymore.

If this is you, I'm going to show you what’s really happening. Because this doubt you're carrying? It’s not about you. And I'm going to teach you how to finally put it down. 

👉 Episode Show Notes

🔍 Not sure if your partner's ex is truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz

📩 Join my list. My emails are where I share things I don't share anywhere else (because I don’t just teach this stuff, I actually live it). Join here: highconflictblueprint.com/email

🎙️Got a question or situation you'd like me to cover on the podcast? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/questions

Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional legal or mental health advice.

You've been pushing the thought away for a while now... “maybe this relationship isn't going to work.” 

You love him. You're trying. But the high conflict ex creates endless drama, it’s not getting better, and you're starting to wonder if the only way you'll ever feel happy again is if you leave.

But you can't decide whether you should stay or go. Both options are painful. So you go back and forth, exhausted by the question.

In this episode, I'm giving you a way to actually make this decision – not from desperation or exhaustion, but from clarity. 

By the end, you'll understand why you're so stuck, what your options are, and how to finally decide what to do without spending many more months or years agonising over it.

If you've been carrying this question for too long, this episode will help you work through it properly.

👉 Episode Show Notes

🔍 Not sure if your partner's ex is truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz

📩 Join my list. My emails are where I share things I don't share anywhere else (because I don’t just teach this stuff, I actually live it). Join here: highconflictblueprint.com/email

🎙️Got a question or situation you'd like me to cover on the podcast? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/questions

Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional legal or mental health advice.

Does it feel like your entire relationship revolves around his toxic ex?

You sit down for dinner and within five minutes, you're talking about something she said. You're trying to have a quiet morning and her name comes up. You want to relax on the couch with your partner but there's this tension because of what happened earlier with her.

She's not even there. But she's everywhere.

And here's the thing – you can't actually relax in your own relationship. There's no safe space from her. And this isn't just exhausting. It can actively erode your relationship.

This episode shows you how to take back the space she's occupying – in your conversations, your time together, your home, and how to create space where she doesn't get to exist at all.

By the end, you’ll know how to ex-proof your relationship so it's actually about you and your partner again.

👉 Episode Show Notes: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast/ex-proof-your-relationship

🔍 Not sure if your partner's ex is truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz

📩 Join my list. My emails are where I share things I don't share anywhere else (because I don’t just teach this stuff, I actually live it). Join here: highconflictblueprint.com/email

🎙️Got a question or situation you'd like me to cover on the podcast? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/questions

Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional legal or mental health advice.

You've had another fight about the ex. He's shut down, you're exhausted and wondering if your relationship can survive much more of this.

You both need to get on the same page to protect your relationship, and in this episode, I’ll show you how. 

I discuss how to know if he’s ready, how to have the conversation, how to figure out what your united front actually looks like, and how to support each other when she inevitably tests it.

If you're tired of feeling like you're fighting each other instead of fighting for each other, this episode will help you change that.

👉 Episode Show Notes

👉 Mentioned – High Conflict Institute: highconflictinstitute.com

🔍 Not sure if your partner's ex is truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz

📩 Join my list. My emails are where I share things I don't share anywhere else (because I don’t just teach this stuff, I actually live it). Join here: highconflictblueprint.com/email

🎙️Got a question or situation you'd like me to cover on the podcast? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/questions

Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional legal or mental health advice.

Another text comes through from the high conflict ex. Your partner spirals. And suddenly you're the one drafting responses at 2am, researching parental alienation strategies, and managing his emotions. 

You're disappearing under the weight of it all – and then you feel guilty for even thinking "I can't do this anymore."

You love him, so you stepped in and somehow became his crisis manager. But now you're exhausted and resentful.

This episode is about breaking that cycle. 

You'll learn how to step back without the guilt, stay grounded when he's falling apart, and how to support him without sacrificing yourself or your relatonship.

Because loving him doesn't mean losing yourself to her drama. You can be there for him and protect yourself at the same time.

👉 Episode Show Notes

🔍 Not sure if your partner's ex is truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz

📩 Join my list. My emails are where I share things I don't share anywhere else (because I don’t just teach this stuff, I actually live it). Join here: highconflictblueprint.com/email

🎙️Got a question or situation you'd like me to cover on the podcast? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/questions

Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional legal or mental health advice.

It feels like she's winning, doesn't it? Every time she ignores your boundaries, every time she gets away with something – it feels like she’s winning and you're losing.

But what if that idea of winning versus losing is keeping you trapped in her game?

The problem is that you're so focused on not letting her "get away with" it that you're accidentally sacrificing the very things you're trying to protect – your peace, your relationship, your goals, and your family's happiness.

Because every time you engage with her drama – to defend yourself, to try prove she's wrong or earn her respect, you're playing her game. You’re giving her exactly what she wants. 

In this episode, I'll show you the secret to winning against a high conflict ex – how to change the game so you're no longer playing by her rules. 

👉 Episode Show Notes

👉 Sign up to "The Blueprint" waitlist – your step-by-step course to finally getting your life back. highconflictblueprint.com/blueprint

🔍 Not sure if your partner's ex is truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz

📩 Join my list. My emails are where I share things I don't share anywhere else (because I don’t just teach this stuff, I actually live it). Join here: highconflictblueprint.com/email

🎙️Got a question or situation you'd like me to cover on the podcast? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/questions

Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional legal or mental health advice.

She's at family gatherings. His mum still helps her out. His sister invites her to birthday parties. And you're left wondering – why does she get to stay in, while you feel like the outsider? 

In this episode, I reveal why the high conflict ex still clings to his family and the manipulation tactics she uses to stay there.

You'll learn why his family allows it, and how to reduce what she gets out of it so she might give up and let go. 

More importantly, I talk about what this means for you, and how to separate their choices from your worth.

If you've ever felt like you're competing for a place that should be yours, or like she's winning because his family still treats her like she belongs, this episode will help you see the situation clearly, and know what to do about it.

👉 Episode Show Notes:

👉 Sign up to "The Blueprint" waitlist – your step-by-step course to finally getting your life back. highconflictblueprint.com/blueprint

🔍 Not sure if your partner's ex is truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz

📩 Join my list. My emails are where I share things I don't share anywhere else (because I don’t just teach this stuff, I actually live it). Join here: highconflictblueprint.com/email

🎙️Got a question or situation you'd like me to cover on the podcast? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/questions

Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional legal or mental health advice.

You’re stressed, reactive, angry – you don't recognise yourself anymore. And you think, "She's turning me into someone I'm not."

But here's the truth – she's not turning you into anything. She’s just revealing parts of you that you didn't know were there. And when you know that about yourself, you have an opportunity to build capabilities you'd never develop otherwise. 

Because when you learn how to handle her at her worst and still stay centered, what could possibly shake you? 

👉 Episode Show Notes

👉 Sign up to my Blueprint waitlist at highconflictblueprint.com/blueprint

🔍 Not sure if your partner's ex is truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz

📩 Join my list. My emails are where I share things I don't share anywhere else (because I don’t just teach this stuff, I actually live it). Join here: highconflictblueprint.com/email

🎙️Got a question or situation you'd like me to cover on the podcast? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/questions

Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional legal or mental health advice.

You start to mention weekend plans to the kids, but you stop yourself mid-sentence. Because you know what happens next – within 24 hours, the ex will know. She'll have something nasty to say about it, she might even try to ruin it entirely.

This is one of the most frustrating parts of high conflict co-parenting – when everything you say or do gets reported back to the high conflict ex. 

You'll learn why she uses the kids as spies, how to protect your privacy and plans without shutting them out, and most importantly, how to stop feeling like you're constantly being judged in your own home. 

If you're tired of editing every word and feeling like nothing in your life is truly private, this will help.

👉 Episode Show Notes

🔍 Not sure if your partner's ex is truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz

📩 Join my list. My emails are where I share things I don't share anywhere else (because I don’t just teach this stuff, I actually live it). Join here: highconflictblueprint.com/email

🎙️Got a question or situation you'd like me to cover on the podcast? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/questions

Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional legal or mental health advice.

Ever feel like you're losing your mind trying to understand why the ex acts the way she does?

By the end of this episode, you might finally have an explanation for behaviours that have been driving you crazy.

I'll walk you through the high conflict narcissist (“I’m superior, you're nothing”) the borderline (“I love you, I hate you”) the antisocial (cruel con artist), the paranoid (highly suspicious), and the histrionic (dramatic, accusatory).

If you recognise any of these personality types in your high conflict ex (and you likely will), this episode will help you finally understand what you're dealing with so you can learn how to manage her more effectively.

👉 Episode Show Notes: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast/5-types

🔍 Not sure if your partner's ex is truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz

📩 Join my list. My emails are where I share things I don't share anywhere else (because I don’t just teach this stuff, I actually live it). Join here: highconflictblueprint.com/email

🎙️Got a question or situation you'd like me to cover on the podcast? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/questions

Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional legal or mental health advice.

Another "emergency" text at 9 PM. Another crisis that somehow requires immediate attention. You're exhausted from fighting with her about everything she throws at you.

Today, I'll show you exactly how to choose your battles with a high conflict ex without burning yourself out in the process.

You'll discover why she creates endless conflict, and take the guesswork out of when to respond and when to let it go.

No more spending hours agonising over the "right" response. Instead, you can be strategic about where you invest your precious time and emotional energy.

👉 Episode Show Notes: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast/pick-your-battles

🔍 Not sure if your partner's ex is truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz

📩 Join my list. My emails are where I share things I don't share anywhere else (because I don’t just teach this stuff, I actually live it). Join here: highconflictblueprint.com/email

🎙️Got a question or situation you'd like me to cover on the podcast? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/questions

Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional legal or mental health advice.

You rehearse the perfect request – polite, reasonable, with plenty of notice. But you already know what's coming. The automatic "no" from the high conflict ex.

If you've been there, you'll know that crushing frustration of trying to negotiate with someone who seems to enjoy refusing everything.

And every time she refuses something reasonable that would actually benefit the kids, you feel that anger building. Why does it have to be this hard?

In today's episode, I'll show you how to make requests of a high conflict ex that increases your chances of getting a yes, while also keeping you out of the drama. 

Because when you understand the psychology behind her need to refuse everything, you can start working with it instead of against it.

👉 Episode Show Notes: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast/getting-to-yes

👉 Episode 5 – Tired of Feeling Blindsided? How to Predict Her Next Move and Stay One Step Ahead: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast/pattern-behind-chaos

👉 FREE GUIDE DOWNLOAD – Stop Being Blindsided. Grab the "Drama Tracker" to spot the patterns behind her chaos. highconflictblueprint.com/drama-tracker

🔍 Not sure if your partner's ex is truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz

📩 Join my list. My emails are where I share things I don't share anywhere else (because I don’t just teach this stuff, I actually live it). Join here: highconflictblueprint.com/email

🎙️Got a question or situation you'd like me to cover on the podcast? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/questions

Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional legal or mental health advice.

You're constantly frustrated. 

She won't respect boundaries. He won't stand up to her. Nobody does what they should do, and you're stuck feeling angry, disappointed, and resentful about it all. 

In this episode, I reveal the surprising reason you feel so frustrated – and it's not what you think. 

While you've been focused on the ex's toxic behaviour, there's something else quietly stealing your peace. It’s your "Manual” – a set of unwritten rules you have about how everyone should behave so you can be happy. 

The problem? When people don't follow these rules (and they don't), you're guaranteed to feel disappointed, angry, disrespected, deflated. 

You'll see how you've accidentally handed over control of your emotions to the ex, and more importantly, learn a practical process for taking it back .

This isn't about becoming a doormat or having no boundaries – it's about taking back control of how you feel, regardless of what anyone else does.

👉 Episode Show Notes: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast/the-manual

🔍 Not sure if your partner's ex is truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz

📩 Join my list. My emails are where I share things I don't share anywhere else (because I don’t just teach this stuff, I actually live it). Join here: highconflictblueprint.com/email

🎙️Got a question or situation you'd like me to cover on the podcast? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/questions

Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional legal or mental health advice.

She's nice to you, then sends a toxic text.

You're wondering – is the ex really high conflict? Maybe she just had a bad day... maybe you're imagining things... maybe you're the problem?

This episode gives a clear way to help you tell if she’s truly high conflict, or if she’s just difficult. 

I'll walk you through real scenarios that show the patterns high conflict people follow, even when they seem reasonable on the surface.

This matters, because when you're dealing with a true high conflict ex, normal co-parenting strategies don't just fail – they make things worse.

When you know what you're truly dealing with, you can stop doing things that backfire, and start using tools that actually work.

If you've been second-guessing yourself or wondering if you're overreacting, this episode is your reality check.

👉 Episode Show Notes

🔍 Not sure if your partner's ex is truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz

📩 Join my list. My emails are where I share things I don't share anywhere else (because I don’t just teach this stuff, I actually live it). Join here: highconflictblueprint.com/email

🎙️Got a question or situation you'd like me to cover on the podcast? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/questions

Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional legal or mental health advice.

It's 2 AM and you're lying there, running through every terrible thing she could do if you upset her. False allegations. Parental alienation. Another court battle you can't afford.

So you edit each text three times before sending. You bite your tongue when she makes another ridiculous demand. You give in. Again.

Because the fear of what she might do feels scarier than just putting up with her current toxic behaviour. Even though the exhaustion of constantly managing her is crushing you.

But what if all this careful tiptoeing is actually making you more vulnerable, not less?

In this episode, I'll show you why your current strategy isn't protecting your family the way you think it is, and what's really happening when you avoid setting boundaries out of fear.

You'll learn how to prepare for her worst-case scenarios, what to actually do if she follows through on threats, and how to set boundaries even when you're terrified of the consequences.

👉 Grab my FREE Escalation-Proof Boundary Planner, so you can set your first boundary TODAY and know exactly what to do when she pushes back. highconflictblueprint.com/boundary-planner

👉 Episode Show Notes

🔍 Not sure if your partner's ex is truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz

📩 Join my list. My emails are where I share things I don't share anywhere else (because I don’t just teach this stuff, I actually live it). Join here: highconflictblueprint.com/email

🎙️Got a question or situation you'd like me to cover on the podcast? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/questions

Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional legal or mental health advice.

What do you do when your stepchild repeats something cruel – and you know it came straight from her?

This episode is your guide to one of the most painful things stepmum's face – when the high conflict ex plants toxic messages in the kids’ minds and tries to turn them against you.

I’ll walk you through exactly how to respond without throwing the kids in the middle or fuelling more conflict. 

You’ll learn how to support them through the confusion and protect your relationship with them.

Most importantly, I'll show you how to help your stepkids trust their own experience over her manipulation – and how to turn these heartbreaking moments into opportunities to teach them something she never could.

If you’ve ever felt gutted by words like “You’re not my real mum”,  this is your lifeline.

👉 Episode Show Notes: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast/when-the-kids-believe-her-lies

🔍 Not sure if your partner's ex is truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz

📩 Join my list. My emails are where I share things I don't share anywhere else (because I don’t just teach this stuff, I actually live it). Join here: highconflictblueprint.com/email

🎙️Got a question or situation you'd like me to cover on the podcast? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/questions

Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional legal or mental health advice.

Do you ever feel consumed by hate toward your partner’s high conflict ex?

For all the moments she’s ruined, the plans she’s disrupted, the lies, the manipulation, the way she just makes it impossible to enjoy your relationship and your life.

In this episode, I unpack the raw, unspoken truth behind those feelings of rage and resentment. 

I’ll show you what’s happening beneath the surface – and how to shift out of hate without pretending everything’s fine.

This episode is a must-listen if:

• You’re constantly triggered, even when she’s not around
• She’s turning you into someone you don’t recognise
• You just want to stop this feeling … but don’t know how

👉 Episode Show Notes: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast/hate-the-high-conflict-ex

🔍 Not sure if your partner's ex is truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz

📩 Join my list. My emails are where I share things I don't share anywhere else (because I don’t just teach this stuff, I actually live it). Join here: highconflictblueprint.com/email

🎙️Got a question or situation you'd like me to cover on the podcast? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/questions

Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional legal or mental health advice.

It’s not just what she says – it’s how it gets to you. Every time.

In this episode, we’re digging into why you feel so triggered, and how to take back your emotional control. 

You’ll learn how emotional triggers actually work, why you spiral so quickly, and the real reason her drama hits you so hard. 

I’ll walk you through a step-by-step process to stop internalising her jabs, shift your perspective, and finally break the cycle – without needing her to change a thing.

👉 Episode Show Notes: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast/mastering-emotional-triggers

🔍 Not sure if your partner's ex is truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz

📩 Join my list. My emails are where I share things I don't share anywhere else (because I don’t just teach this stuff, I actually live it). Join here: highconflictblueprint.com/email

🎙️Got a question or situation you'd like me to cover on the podcast? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/questions

Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional legal or mental health advice.