Explore every episode of the podcast The Gospel According to Sir Desmond Stirling
| Title | Pub. Date | Duration | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Sir Desmond Stirling’s Bring Me Flesh! | 09 Dec 2025 | 00:28:04 | |
Sir Desmond Stirling’s Bring Me Flesh! Gird your undercarriage! Sir Desmond Stirling’s latest Yuletide yarn is here - and it’s his most spleen-tingling one yet! Shiver right down to the marrow as our favourite purveyor of Satanic chillers relates his encounter with the Haunted Tree… Written and performed by Anthony Keetch (c) Anthony Keetch 2025 | |||
| Sir Desmond Stirling’s Abominable! Episode 4 | 11 Nov 2025 | 00:21:40 | |
Sir Desmond Stirling’s Abominable! Episode 4 Has the wretched Forrest really bagged a Yeti? If so, how will they get it through Customs? Relish the pant-shredding conclusion to this rollicking yarn from everyone’s favourite Pensmith of Peril! Written and performed by Anthony Keetch (c) Anthony Keetch 2025 | |||
| Sir Desmond Stirling’s Abominable! Episode 3 | 07 Nov 2025 | 00:29:27 | |
Sir Desmond Stirling’s Abominable! Episode 3 Who else is exploring Mount Ghangbhang? Who is the hairy monk? And how far can our heroes push their luck before they end up as Yeti lunch? The third chapter of Sir Desmond Stirling’s rip-roaring saga. Written and performed by Anthony Keetch (c) Anthony Keetch 2025 | |||
| Sir Desmond Stirling's Abominable! episode 2 | 04 Nov 2025 | 00:38:31 | |
Our intrepid explorers begin their quest. But who is throwing rocks at them? And who exactly are the warrior Monks protecting? Can you cope with more excitement than is medically recommended? Written and perfomed by Anthony Keetch (c) Anthony Keetch 2025 | |||
| Sir Desmond Stirling’s Abominable! Episode 1 | 31 Oct 2025 | 00:43:30 | |
The first episode of Sir Desmond Stirling’s 1950s tale of the quest for the Yeti! Playboy adventurer Charles, Viscount de Bourbon a Bisquit and Dr Greenford Wimpybar are commissioned by wealthy heiress Diamanté Baconburger to capture an Abominable Snowman. Is this a good idea…? Written and performed by Anthony Keetch (C) Anthony Keetch 2025 | |||
| Blood on Stan's Claw episode 3 | 18 Dec 2024 | 00:29:41 | |
Frau Perchta is coming to town! But has Sir Desmond been naughty or nice? The bowel-clenching final episode! Written and performed by Anthony Keetch (c) Anthony Keetch 2024 | |||
| Blood on Stan's Claw episode 2 | 16 Dec 2024 | 00:30:43 | |
Another Santa is dead! World-renowned adventurer and spooky yarnsmith Sir Desmond Stirling investigates... but are those sleighbells or the clanging chimes of doom? And who or what is Stan? Written and Performed by Anthony Keetch (c) Anthony Keetch 2024 | |||
| Blood on Stan's Claw episode 1 | 15 Dec 2024 | 00:24:57 | |
Sir Desmond Stirling - best-selling author of Satanic chillers - recounts the time he donned the wellies to investigate the mysterious deaths of department store Father Christmasses. Who is offing the erstaz St Nicks and why? Is the killer simply wreaking revenge for not getting the railway set they wanted - or is the reason lost in the legends of long ago...? Sir Desmond Stirling is written and performed by Anthony Keetch (c) Anthony Keetch 2024 | |||
| Christmas at Scarhelldeath Hall episode 3 | 17 Dec 2023 | 00:24:25 | |
Christmas stocking? More like Christmas shocking! Is the late Reverend Maestri really haunting Scarhelldeath Hall? If so, what will it take to expunge his ghostly ghastly presence? Sir Desmond Stirling is written and performed by Anthony Keetch (c) Anthony Keetch 2023 | |||
| Christmas at Scarhelldeath Hall episode 2 | 17 Dec 2023 | 00:19:54 | |
Sir Desmond Stirling has awoken to find a glowing monstrosity in front of him. Is it really the spectre of The Reverend Dougal Maestri returned from beyond the grave to exact revenge? Is Sir Desmond's bottom safe from the swish of the spook's cane? Sir Desmond Stirling is written and performed by Anthony Keetch (c) Anthony Keetch 2023 | |||
| Christmas at Scarhelldeath Hall episode 1 | 13 Dec 2023 | 00:27:35 | |
Sir Desmond Stirling - horror author and bon vivant - returns to his alma mater in the sleepy Scottish village of Kilcarcass to hand out prizes. But he finds something even worse than Latin prep and cold porridge - a ghost! Sir Desmond Stirling is written and perfomed by Anthony Keetch (c) Anthony Keetch 2023 | |||
| The Nuns of Gavarone | 23 May 2023 | 00:07:19 | |
Sir Desmond Stirling - best-selling author of Satanic chillers - discusses the uncanny legend of the Nuns of Gavarone... Written and Performed by Anthony Keetch (c) Anthony Keetch 2023 | |||
| Trailer | 13 May 2023 | 00:00:55 | |
Sir Desmond Stirling opens himself up to you all. Written & performed by Anthony Keetch. (c) Anthony Keetch 2023
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| The Gospel According to Sir Desmond Stirling | 05 May 2023 | 00:00:46 | |
World famous author of Satanic chillers Sir Desmond Stirling opens himself up to you. Written & performed by Anthony Keetch (c) Anthony Keetch 2023 | |||
| Sir Desmond Stirling’s The Coves in Black episode 8 - the thrilling conclusion! | 08 Mar 2023 | 00:16:54 | |
The Coves in Black episode 8 - the nail-biting conclusion! Sir Desmond and the Major are seemingly prisoners in the secret base underneath Whitehall. Our hero has had enough of being baffled - he demands answers! But will he get them? Will we? Sir Desmond Stirling is written & performed by Anthony Keetch (c) Anthony Keetch 2023 | |||
| Sir Desmond Stirling’s The Coves in Black episode 7 | 05 Mar 2023 | 00:13:28 | |
The Coves in Black episode 7! Who has barged uninvited into Sir Desmond’s bathroom? Is his personal privacy a thing of the past now? And the people of Quigley Godfrey…? Where on Earth - or indeed off Earth - are they, and are they all having their bottoms probed? Sir Desmond Stirling is written & performed by Anthony Keetch (c) Anthony Keetch 2023 | |||
| Sir Desmond Stirling’s The Coves in Black episode 6 | 02 Mar 2023 | 00:12:39 | |
The Coves in Black episode 6! We last left Sir Desmond under attack from the Coves in Black. Has he survived? Has he been abducted by aliens again? Is his posterior unscathed? Sir Desmond Stirling is written & performed by Anthony Keetch c) Anthony Keetch 2023 #podcast #ufo #alienabduction #covesinblack | |||
| Sir Desmond Stirling’s The Coves in Black episode 5 | 27 Feb 2023 | 00:22:30 | |
The Coves in Black episode 5! Atop the Devil’s Ballsack, Sir Desmond confronts both Mavis Peebles and the Coves in Black! But which can he trust? And what’s that in the sky…? Sir Desmond Stirling is written & performed by Anthony Keetch (c) Anthony Keetch 2023 | |||
| Sir Desmond Stirling's The Coves in Black episode 4 | 24 Feb 2023 | 00:17:07 | |
Who are the Coves in Black? Where is Quigley Godfrey? Who is Mavis Peebles? What is the Devil's Ballsack? Will Sir Desmond find the answers to these questions? Will he tell us if he does? Sir Desmond Stirling is written and performed by Anthony Keetch (c) Anthony Keetch 2023 | |||
| Sir Desmond Stirling's The Coves in Black episode 3 | 21 Feb 2023 | 00:11:43 | |
Sir Desmond has learned under hypnosis that he was kidnapped and rudely probed by aliens! Now he wants answers... but from whom? And who are the Coves in Black who are following him? Sir Desmond Stirling is written and performed by Anthony Keetch (c) Anthony Keetch 2023 | |||
| Sir Desmond Stirling's The Coves in Black episode 2 | 19 Feb 2023 | 00:11:28 | |
Hypnotised by the strange Professor Tintenfisch, Sir Desmond Stirling relives that fateful night... but will he like what he finds...? WARNING: Contains scenes of uninvited rectal rummaging. Sir Desmond Stirling is written and performed by Anthony Keetch (c) Anthony Keetch 2023 | |||
| Sir Desmond Stirling's The Coves in Black episode 1 | 17 Feb 2023 | 00:18:46 | |
While drunkenly staring at the sky one night to see a meteor storm, Sir Desmond Stirling - best-selling scribe of spine-tingling yarns - has a disquieting flashback to something disturbing… but what? What on earth could possibly spook a war hero like that? If it was from Earth… Sir Desmond Stirling is written & performed by Anthony Keetch (c) Anthony Keetch 2023 | |||
| What the Dickens?! | 18 Dec 2022 | 00:05:50 | |
Sir Desmond Stirling - author, playboy and ambassador for nudism - anticipates the annual Christmas visit of those tiresome and self-righteous ghosts. Sir Desmond Stirling Is written and performed by Anthony Keetch (c) Anthony Keetch 2022 | |||
| Sir Desmond Stirling’s Carrion Christmas episode 6 - the conclusion! | 11 Dec 2022 | 00:15:43 | |
Sir Desmond Stirling’s Carrion Christmas Episode 6 - the bowel-clenching conclusion! (A Derek Playfair Mystery) Christmas 1971: The full horror has been revealed - and it isn’t Mother Goose’s bloomers. Do we all face a world of dread and fear? Can theatrical agent and playboy Derek Playfair save the world from the clanging chimes of doom? Written and performed by Anthony Keetch (c) Anthony Keetch 2022 | |||
| Sir Desmond Stirling’s Carrion Christmas Episode 5 | 08 Dec 2022 | 00:09:10 | |
Sir Desmond Stirling’s Carrion Christmas Episode 5 (A Derek Playfair Mystery) Christmas 1971: Oh no, he isn’t..?! Oh yes, he is! But what…? Written and performed by Anthony Keetch (c) Anthony Keetch 2022 | |||
| Sir Desmond Stirling’s Carrion Christmas episode 4 | 06 Dec 2022 | 00:17:13 | |
Christmas 1971: The First Night of Mother Goose is nigh. But will anyone survive to see the Second Night…? It’s not just the critics who are out for blood… Written and performed by Anthony Keetch (c) Anthony Keetch 2022 | |||
| Sir Desmond Stirling’s Carrion Christmas episode 3 | 04 Dec 2022 | 00:12:39 | |
Christmas 1971: Derek Playfair - theatrical agent, trendy playboy & fearless adventurer - is about to watch the Dress Rehearsal. But a Dress Rehearsal for what…? Written and performed by Anthony Keetch (c) Anthony Keetch 2022 | |||
| Sir Desmond Stirling’s Carrion Christmas Episode 2 | 03 Dec 2022 | 00:12:35 | |
Sir Desmond Stirling’s Carrion Christmas Episode 2 Episode 2 of this Yuletastic shiverfest from infamous horror yarnsmith, Sir Desmond Stirling! Christmas 1971: Derek Playfair - theatrical agent by day, trendy playboy by night, and fearless adventurer by nature - senses something is wrong in the seaside town of Heelmouth. Who is Northfield Loveday? Is his magic just tricks - or are they for real? Chippy or the Wimpy for supper? Written and performed by Anthony Keetch (c) Anthony Keetch 2022 | |||
| Sir Desmond Stirling’s Carrion Christmas Episode 1 | 03 Dec 2022 | 00:13:06 | |
Sir Desmond Stirling’s Carrion Christmas episode 1 (A Derek Playfair Adventure) Christmas 1971: Derek Playfair - theatrical agent, trendy playboy & fearless adventurer - is visiting the seaside resort of Heelmouth to see his client in the title role of Mother Goose. But it’s not just the weather outside which is frightful… Written and performed by Anthony Keetch (c) Anthony Keetch 2022 | |||
| Sir Desmond Stirling’s Hallowe’en | 31 Oct 2022 | 00:03:10 | |
Sir Desmond reminisces about a Hallowe’en past written and performed by Anthony Keetch (c) Anthony Keetch 2022 | |||
| Who The Hell Is Sir Desmond Stirling? | 02 Sep 2022 | 00:08:25 | |
Sir Desmond Stirling - world-renowned wordsmith - has decided to open a crack in his carapace and let you all in. This episode serves as an introduction to those who - shame on you - dont know who he is `(for which there’s absolutely no excuse unless maybe you have a medical reason, but this requires a note from your GP.) Sir Desmond Stirling is written & performed by Anthony Keetch (c) Anthony Keetch 2022 | |||
| Sir Desmond Stirling: Evil - Yay or Nay? | 20 Apr 2022 | 00:08:01 | |
Sir Desmond Stirling: Evil - Yay or Nay? Acclaimed yarnsmith of Satanic chillers, Sir Desmond Stirling, ponders the existence of evil. Sir Desmond Stirling is written and performed by Anthony Keetch Warning: contains Evil. (c) Anthony Keetch 2022 | |||
| A Long Day’s Journey Into Knighthood | 07 Mar 2022 | 00:14:38 | |
Sir Desmond Stirling - horror author and nudist - wistfully recalls the events which led to his ennoblement and doomed fifth marriage. Written & performed by Anthony Keetch (c) Anthony Keetch 2022 | |||
| The Creepy Cottage of Chisel | 24 Feb 2022 | 00:10:12 | |
I was asked to contribute the following article to a worthy tome edited by an old school chum. Apologies for the crass language used within, but, frankly, my experiences with Chisel Films - the self-styled Creepy Cottge of Chisel - oft reduced me to a rather ‘blue’ vernacular) Chisel Films Sir Desmond Stirling is written & perf by Anthony Keetch (c) Anthony Keetch 2022 | |||
| Sir Desmond Stirling’s My Night With a Bender | 09 Feb 2022 | 00:08:53 | |
Sir Desmond Stirling rummages in his archives and retrieves a restaurant review he wrote for a 1971 issue of Manly Monthly in which he discovers the delights of the Wimpy Bar! Sir Desmond Stirling is written and performed by Anthony Keetch (c) Anthony Keetch 2022 | |||
| A-ha! Gym lad! | 08 Feb 2022 | 00:03:50 | |
Sir Desmond Stirling - author and bon viveur - tells us about the new gymnasium he has discovered in London's fashionable Old Compton Street. Sir Desmond Stirling is written and performed by Anthony Keetch (c) Anthony Keetch 2022 | |||
| Abaddon’s of London | 02 Feb 2022 | 00:06:12 | |
Sir Desmond Stirling - best-selling author of spooky yarns and Bon viveur - waxes lyrical about his gentleman’s club - Abaddon’s of London. Sir Desmond Stirling is written & performed by Anthony Keetch (c) Anthony Keetch 2022 | |||
| Sir Desmond Stirling's A Christmas Carol: The Next Day | 25 Dec 2021 | 00:02:54 | |
Did the three self-righteous Ghosts visit Sir Desmond as they usually do on Christmas Eve? Written and performed by Anthony Keetch (c) Anthony Keech 2021 | |||
| Sir Desmond Stirling's A Christmas Carol episode 1 | 23 Dec 2021 | 00:06:55 | |
Acclaimed author and nudist Sir Desmond Stirling tells us of his annual visits from three self-righteous ghosts. Sir Desmond Stirling is wriiten and performed by Anthony Keetch (c) Anthony Keetch 2021 | |||
| While Writers Drank Their Plonk By Night… | 22 Dec 2021 | 00:03:05 | |
Sir Desmond Stirling - acclaimed yarnsmith - reminisces about literary Christmas parties in days of yore. Warning: contains anecdotes about disgraceful behaviour. If you are affected by any of the issues raised in this podcast, please consult your local exorcist. Written & performed by Anthony Keetch (c) Anthony Keetch 2021 | |||
| Satan's Claws Are Coming To Town episode 5 | 13 Dec 2021 | 00:14:47 | |
The final installment of Sir Desmond Stirling's creepy chiller for Christmas? What will Boxing Day bring for Charles? The hangover from hell - or Hell itself!? Will his fiendish enemy reveal themself - even more than in their current state of nudity? And whose side is Dr Wimpybar really on? Sir Desmond Stirling is written and performed by Anthony Keetch (c) Anthony Keetch 2021 | |||
| Satan's Claws Are Coming To Town episode 4 | 08 Dec 2021 | 00:20:35 | |
The latest chapter of Sir Desmond Stirling's Noel Goredom! Get your manservant to draw up your favourite armchair in front of the fire, pour you some whisky, and simultaneously warm and chill your bones. Sir Desmond Stirling is written and performed by Anthony Keetch (c) Antony Keetch 2021 | |||
| Satan's Claws Are Coming To Town episode 3 | 05 Dec 2021 | 00:16:06 | |
Sir Desmond Stirling's Yuletide chiller continues.... Will Charles avoid being grabbed by the gargoyles? Ad what awaits him at stately Daryl Hall? Sir Desmond Stirling is written and performed by Anthony Keetch (c) Anthony Keetch 2021 | |||
| Satan's Claws Are Coming To Town episode 2 | 03 Dec 2021 | 00:14:30 | |
Episode 2 of the latest festive fearfest from the World's Greatest Teller of Terrifying Tales - Sir Desmond Stirling! Charles finds out that he is doomed to hellish oblivion and he isn't very happy about it... Written and performed by Anthony Keetch (c) Anthony Keetch 2021 | |||
| Satan's Claws Are Coming To Town episode 1 | 01 Dec 2021 | 00:19:26 | |
The latest frightful Yuletide chiller from the master yarnsmith, Sir Desmond Stirling. Listen to the opening chapter as Simon, Viscount de Bourbon a Bisquit, sets off on what he thinks will be a relaxing Christmas in the country... "The Sven Hassel of Horror!" TitBits 1973 Sir Desmond Stirling is written and performed by Anthony Keetch (c) Anthony Keetch 2021 | |||
| Sir Desmond Stirling's SATAN BABY episode 4 | 15 Nov 2021 | 00:08:03 | |
The final bowel-freezing chapter of Sir Desmond Stirling's festive shocker SATAN BABY! Written and performed by Anthony Keetch (c) Anthony Keetch 2020 | |||
| Sir Desmond Stirling's Satan Baby episode 3 | 15 Nov 2021 | 00:07:57 | |
The third hair-raising chapter of Sir Desmond Stirling's bloodcurdling serial for Christmas SATAN BABY. Written& Performed by Anthony Keetch (c) Anthony Keetch 2020 | |||
| Sir Desmond Stirling's Satan Baby episode 2 | 15 Nov 2021 | 00:13:00 | |
The second chapter of Sir Desmond Stirling's festive fear-fest SATAN BABY as read by the old Master himself. Written and performed by Anthony Keetch (c) Anthony Keetch 2020 | |||
| Sir Desmond Stirling's Satan Baby episode 1 | 15 Nov 2021 | 00:09:54 | |
Sir Desmond Stirling, acclaimed author of Satanic chillers, reads the first chapter of his spooky yarn for Yuletide. Sir Desmond Stirling is written and performed by Anthony Keetch (c) Anthony Keetch | |||
| Sir Desmond Stirling’s My Fifteenth Birthday! | 07 Nov 2021 | 00:05:07 | |
Sir Desmond Stirling - acclaimed author of Satanic chillers - recalls the events of his fifteenth birthday and the unusual gift he received from his Uncle Bertram (ye, that one, the journalist renowned for his notorious ’In Which We Perve’ column in Tit-Bits magazine). Written & performed by Anthony Keetch (c) Anthony Keetch 2021 | |||