The Gentle Village – Details, episodes & analysis

In this episode both Jamie and Neil have big news about their lives and are diving deep into attachment. We discuss god and how belief can affect recovery of our trust in love, in life and in our partners. Little nuggets of Jamie and Neil wisdom lie within, we think.

Neil has just posted a whole curriculum of 'spicy' workshops that he calls CARING K1NK. If you're interested to know more click here:

https://www.positively-mindful.com/playful-desires.html

Jamie is offering his world famous Bring It facilitator training at jamiecatto.com/bringit

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Welcome to The Gentle Village, a place for us to connect, knowing we don't have to do it all alone. A safe space to explore Relationships. Vulnerabilities, Curiosities, Courage and a deeper connection with Life and Love in 2023

In this podcast, ⁠Jamie Catto (⁠Musician, Film-maker and author of Insanely Gifted) and⁠ Neil Morbey ⁠(Mindfulness and Relationship Coach, Intimacy and Kink Workshop Facilitator) talk about topics of relationships with a focus on attachment, polyamory, monogamy, vulnerability, basic needs, boundaries, trauma and support.

If you'd like us to discuss something please send questions to ⁠neil@positively-mindful.com⁠ and jamie@jamiecatto.com

In this episode we summarise our own intense summers of learning, growth and processing of relationships and explore more nuggets of Jamie and Neil wisdom and mixed opinions.

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Welcome to The Gentle Village, a place for us to connect, knowing we don't have to do it all alone. A safe space to explore Relationships. Vulnerabilities, Curiosities, Courage and a deeper connection with Life and Love in 2023

In this podcast, ⁠⁠Jamie Catto (⁠⁠Musician, Film-maker and author of Insanely Gifted) and⁠⁠ Neil Morbey ⁠⁠(Mindfulness and Relationship Coach, Intimacy and Kink Workshop Facilitator) talk about topics of relationships with a focus on attachment, polyamory, monogamy, vulnerability, basic needs, boundaries, trauma and support. 

If you'd like us to discuss something please send questions to ⁠⁠neil@positively-mindful.com⁠⁠ and jamie@jamiecatto.com 

In this episode we meander between subjects including death, kink, daughters, parenting, going deeper into relationships consciousness and opportunities cloaked as disaster. Little nuggets of Jamie and Neil wisdom lie within, we think.

To come to Neil's in-person workshop in Bristol: 2024: April 27th:  Blindfolded Sensation Seeking

Where you'll get to experience being blindfolded for hours and re-sensitizing your body to smell, taste, sound and touch in a lovely, safe and playful group setting.

Also Neil just began a new online course, which you can still join (we've done week 1, but you can re-watch it): 2024: April 9th: 12-Week Course: Building Secure Attachments.

Jamie is offering his world famous Bring It facilitator training at jamiecatto.com/bringit

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Welcome to The Gentle Village, a place for us to connect, knowing we don't have to do it all alone. A safe space to explore Relationships. Vulnerabilities, Curiosities, Courage and a deeper connection with Life and Love in 2023

In this podcast, ⁠Jamie Catto (⁠Musician, Film-maker and author of Insanely Gifted) and⁠ Neil Morbey ⁠(Mindfulness and Relationship Coach, Intimacy and Kink Workshop Facilitator) talk about topics of relationships with a focus on attachment, polyamory, monogamy, vulnerability, basic needs, boundaries, trauma and support. 

If you'd like us to discuss something please send questions to ⁠neil@positively-mindful.com⁠ and jamie@jamiecatto.com 

This episode is HOT!

We loved to talk about desire and pleasure and we know you'll get a lot from this one. If you're interested to work with Neil or Jamie in groups or 1:1 click to connect with us. Enjoy us talking about:

• Losing respect for people who love us as a result of low self-esteem
• The power of someone believing in you
• Receiving love, praise and pleasure
• Design flaw no1. We de-value availability and value scarcity. We take things for granted. We get hooked on mixed message people!
• Practicing letting in feedback
• Being embarrassed about our desires
• Practicing saying "You're welcome" and owning our work
• Receiving sexual pleasure as a choice - taking it in turns to wash each others feet with eye contact
• Neil's Birthday experience of receiving
• How much noise do we make - is this manipulation?
• Playing with shadows - Caring Kink - eroticising being punished
• Slowing down and building trust before rushing to kink
• Neil shares how he nearly died by rushing in!
• Maintaining erotic energy in long term relationships (Esther Perell - Mating In Captivity)
• How much to share, how boundaries begin with our own brain and mouth
• Using attunement to discern projection from truth
• Design flaw of humans no2. When we need our wits about us are usually the times when its the hardest

• Need vs Longing - using NVC effectively
• Desire is the root of suffering - only when its overly attached to outcome
• Embracing boredom - Feeling fulfilled in ourselves
• Chocolate Mouse as a magical substance

...And so much more!

Welcome to The Gentle Village, a place for us to connect, knowing we don't have to do it all alone. A safe space to explore Relationships. Vulnerabilities, Curiosities, Courage and a deeper connection with Life and Love in 2024

In this podcast, ⁠⁠⁠⁠Jamie Catto (⁠⁠⁠⁠Musician, Film-maker and author of Insanely Gifted) and⁠⁠⁠⁠ Neil Morbey ⁠⁠⁠⁠(Mindfulness and Relationship Coach, Intimacy and Kink Workshop Facilitator) talk about topics of relationships with a focus on attachment, polyamory, monogamy, vulnerability, basic needs, boundaries, trauma and support. 

If you'd like us to discuss something please send questions to ⁠⁠⁠⁠neil@positively-mindful.com⁠⁠⁠⁠ and jamie@jamiecatto.com

We are back, after a few months pause. In this episode we discuss: Learned Secure Attachment

• Neil's changing attachment strategies
• Over-Sharing vs Mutual Care
• Emotional dumping, lubricating with logic
• Speech, language our lens of awareness
• Deserving and privilege
• Helping ourselves and others from Victim mindset using tentative offerings
• Rupture and repair
• Labelling and pigeon-hole-ing
• Triggers
• The damage of having your phone on you
• Asking what kind of response the other wants
• Conditional love and holding the other to ransom - Responsibility fascism
• Too much expectation vs having clear standards

- Workshops, courses and 1:1 coaching at ⁠⁠Positively-Mindful.com: ⁠⁠ by Neil Morbey

- Courses and other offerings at ⁠⁠jamiecatto.com ⁠⁠by Jamie Catto

Welcome to The Gentle Village, a place for us to connect, knowing we don't have to do it all alone. A safe space to explore Relationships. Vulnerabilities, Curiosities, Courage and a deeper connection with Life and Love in 2024

In this podcast, ⁠⁠⁠Jamie Catto (⁠⁠⁠Musician, Film-maker and author of Insanely Gifted) and⁠⁠⁠ Neil Morbey ⁠⁠⁠(Mindfulness and Relationship Coach, Intimacy and Kink Workshop Facilitator) talk about topics of relationships with a focus on attachment, polyamory, monogamy, vulnerability, basic needs, boundaries, trauma and support. 

If you'd like us to discuss something please send questions to ⁠⁠⁠neil@positively-mindful.com⁠⁠⁠ and jamie@jamiecatto.com

What is a reasonable request and how do we make them? Where is the balance between expressing our feelings and needs vs controlling another's actions? We explore these questions in our conversational style as we reflect on our own relationship adventures, requests, boundaries...

Some references in the podcast:

- Love Languages by Gary Chapman, adapted by Neil into his 6 love languages: ⁠HEARTS⁠

- ⁠WILD ⁠- adapted from Non Violent Communication

- Workshops, courses and 1:1 coaching at ⁠Positively-Mindful.com: ⁠ by Neil Morbey

- Courses and other offerings at ⁠jamiecatto.com ⁠by Jamie Catto

- Jamie Catto's 5-month adventure jamiecatto.com/gamechanger

Welcome to The Gentle Village, a place for us to connect, knowing we don't have to do it all alone. A safe space to explore Relationships. Vulnerabilities, Curiosities, Courage and a deeper connection with Life and Love in 2023

In this podcast, ⁠Jamie Catto (⁠Musician, Film-maker and author of Insanely Gitfted) and⁠ Neil Morbey ⁠(Mindfulness and Relationship Coach, Intimicacy and Kink Workshop Facilitator) talk about topics of relationships with a focus on attachment, polyamory, monogamy, vulnerability, basic needs, boundaries, trauma and support. 

If you'd like us to discuss something please send questions to ⁠neil@positively-mindful.com⁠ and jamie@jamiecatto.com 

Where is the line between healthy support and co-dependence? Can we reasonably put restrictions on our partner's behaviour? Can we expect our partners to care for us, including our own 'inner children'? How do we become a team and work together well?

These are some of the questions we explore in this episode of the podcast (in rough order, so you can skip through and find them)

- Dangers of labels and diagnosis

- Wise Kind Adult vs Triggered Child

- Taking time outs in difficult conversations, with a clear re-connection time

- The power of eye contact and touch

- Valuing vulnerability and empathy

- Three key questions to bring us back into our Wise Kind Adult (Fear, Desire, Love)

- Supporting each other's inner children

- Boundaries as part of care and love (halfway through podcast)

- The role of anger

- Trust, dependence and support

- Agreements and Restrictions

- Traumatsing vs discomfort

- Protecting our partners like a beast

- Promoting safety and communicating discomforts isn't weak

Things and people we referenced in the podcast

• Esther Peral: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Esther_Perel
• Stan Tatkin: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stan_Tatkin
• The Yes Brain Book: https://drdansiegel.com/book/the-yes-brain/
• Jamie's Work: https://www.jamiecatto.com/
• Neil's 8-Week Online Course: Building Secure Attachments: https://www.positively-mindful.com/groups.html
• Neil's blog about re-parenting: https://www.positively-mindful.com/blog/reschooling-and-reparenting-heal-and-train-yourself-like-a-kitten

Welcome to The Gentle Village, a place for us to connect, knowing we don't have to do it all alone. A safe space to explore Relationships. Vulnerabilities, Curiosities, Courage and a deeper connection with Life and Love in 2023

In this podcast, Jamie Catto (Musician, Film-maker and author of Insanely Gitfted) and Neil Morbey (Mindfulness and Relationship Coach, Intimicacy and Kink Workshop Facilitator) talk about topics of relationships with a focus on attachment, polyamory, monogamy, vulnerability, basic needs, boundaries, trauma and support. 

If you'd like us to discuss something please send questions to neil@positively-mindful.com and jamie@jamiecatto.com 

Gentle Village #003: Holding our Triggers, Building Trust

In episode three, we delve deep into the nuance of triggers, and attachment styles. We ask ourselves the question: How do we hold space for others and ourselves when we are triggered? What helps us in conflicts?

Some references in the podcast:

- Neil's upcoming 8-week course: Building Secure Relationships

- Jamie’s Book and Course, Insanely Gifted and the Self-Care Manual and his upcoming course Bring It Teacher Training

Welcome to The Gentle Village, a place for us to connect, knowing we don't have to do it all alone. A safe space to explore Relationships. Vulnerabilities, Curiosities, Courage and a deeper connection with Life and Love in 2023

In this podcast, Jamie Catto (Musician, Film-maker and author of Insanely Gitfted) and Neil Morbey (Mindfulness and Relationship Coach, Intimicacy and Kink Workshop Facilitator) talk about topics of relationships with a focus on attachment, polyamory, monogamy, vulnerability, basic needs, boundaries, trauma and support.

If you'd like us to discuss something please send questions to neil@positively-mindful.com and jamie@jamiecatto.com

Gentle Village #002:
In episode one, we introduce ourselves and take a personal look at the topics of challenges, triggers, and attachment styles. We ask ourselves the questions: What are our biggest challenges in relationships? What does each 'attachment style' need to do for itself and need to receive in a relationship? How is it for us?

Some references in the podcast:

- Neil's upcoming 8-week course: Building Secure Relationships

- Non-Violent Communication, by Marshall Rosenberg

- WIN model by David Wolf (Relationships that Work)

- The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle

- Jem Ayres, Orgasmic Employment Practitioner (Who is your team?)

- Neil’s Repairative SORRY model

- Jamie’s Book and Course, Insanely Gifted and the Self-Care Manual

Welcome to The Gentle Village, a place for us to connect, knowing we don't have to do it all alone. A safe space to explore Relationships. Vulnerabilities, Curiosities, Courage and a deeper connection with Life and Love in 2023

In this podcast, Jamie Catto (Musician, Film-maker and author of Insanely Gitfted) and Neil Morbey (Mindfulness and Relationship Coach, Intimicacy and Kink Workshop Facilitator) talk about topics of relationships with a focus on attachment, polyamory, monogamy, vulnerability, basic needs, boundaries, trauma and support. 

If you'd like us to discuss something please send questions to neil@positively-mindful.com and jamie@jamiecatto.com 

Gentle Village #1: Attachment Styles - Inner Child:
In episode one, we introduce ourselves and take a personal look at the topics of challenges, triggers, and attachment styles. We ask ourselves the questions: What are our biggest challenges in relationships? What does each 'attachment style' need to do for itself and need to receive in a relationship? How is it for us?

Some references in the podcast:

- Conversations With God, by Neale Donald Walsch

- Anxious-Avoidant (Disorganised) Style - Spice of Life by Brianna MacWilliams

- '"That's nothing!" Game by Dave Rock

- The Orgasmic Arc, by Genevieve Genevieve