We discuss Borderlands, a video game movie that got delayed for several years, with extensive reshoots where an uncredited director took over for Eli Roth -- but it's probably okay, right? It's not like that sentence has at least five red flags in it...

We’re in season 2 of FlopTV! Pop in for individual episodes, or get a price break with a season pass! Peruse the full line-up and/or get tickets here! And hey, while you’re clicking on stuff, why not subscribe to our NEWSLETTER, “Flop Secrets?!”

Wikipedia page for Borderlands

Recommended in this episode:

Dan: Drive (1997)

Stu: Queer (2024)

Elliott: Wallace & Gromit: Vengeance Most Fowl (2024)

Go to Squarespace.com/FLOP to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Head to factormeals.com/50flop and use code 50flop to get 50% off your first box plus free shipping.

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Though we've done our best to not let it disrupt the show, Elliott's a busy bee these days and had to sit this one out, so Dan took the rare opportunity of being able to finish his sentences to get to know his old pal Stuart a little better... but with a film-related twist.

We’re in season 2 of FlopTV! Tune in for individual episodes, or get a price break with a season pass! Full line-up/tickets here! And while you’re clicking on stuff, subscribe to our NEWSLETTER, “Flop Secrets!”

Save on the perfect gift by visiting AuraFrames.com to get $35-off Aura’s best-selling Carver Mat frames by using promo code FLOP at checkout.

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Since Stuart is infamous for missing mid-and-post-credit scenes, Dan quizzes him (and Elliott) about what might have possibly happened in various movies that included a li'l extra something at the end.

We’re in season 2 of FlopTV! Tune in for individual episodes, or get a price break with a season pass! Full line-up/tickets here! And while you’re clicking on stuff, subscribe to our NEWSLETTER, “Flop Secrets!”

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We interrupt our usual feed for a special announcement! For the first time EVER we're bringing one of our live stage shows worldwide, via the magic of the web. We've done special webstream events before, of course, but this will be a professionally shot and fully edited taping of our most recent in-person live show, available to watch online! 

Did you REALLY want to see us discuss BATTLEFIELD EARTH, one of the most notorious flops of all time, but you don't live in/couldn't make it to Brooklyn? Now you can, with all the stage presentations and performances intact! 

VIP online meet-and-greet packages are also available, if you wanna check in and chat with us, as well as limited edition merch, and if you watch during one of the programmed screening times, we'll all be in the chat watching along and commenting with you. (But don't worry if you can't do those specific times -- the event will stay available within the viewing window for you to watch at your leisure.)

All of the details and links to purchase tickets at: https://www.flophousepodcast.com/stream

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As a thank-you for everyone who became a new or upgrading member during Max Fun Drive 2023 or has been a sustaining member for years, we've provided some bespoke movie recommendations for some fortunate listeners who reached out in response to our call! (If we didn't get to yours this time around, fear not! We hope to do more in the future.)

If you haven't become a member yet, this is an amnesty weekend! There's still time! You haven't missed it! Boy, you there, what day is it today? Today? Why it's Max Fun Day, sir! Become a member and support the podcasts you love at maximumfun.org/join!

If you're in Brooklyn, see this in time, and there are still tix left, come see us at The Bell House on April 2!

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It's Max Fun Drive time (if you haven't already, please consider becoming a member of Maximum Fun and supporting The Flop House), and we decided to give ourselves a real challenge for this one -- we watched the Judd Apatow "hey maybe there's something funny about this pandemic" Netflix all-star "comedy" The Bubble. Did it make our heads explode with exasperated fury? Listen to find out!

Wikipedia page for The Bubble

Movies recommended in this episode:

Psycho II (1983)

Light of Day (1987)

Day for Night (1973)

The Heroic Trio (1993)

Help support this show and unlock bonus content! Become a member at https://maximumfun.org/joinflop

Adam and Ben from Greatest Trek joined us recently to record some bonus content that should be available for members in the Max Fun 2023 boco feed. We had fun, so we also recorded this little hangout of us messing around. We promote the bonus ep (a discussion of Airplane II: The Sequel, a film that does not "star" William Shatner, no matter what people might have you believe), talk a little about podcasting, and encourage folks to become members of max fun, at maximumfun.org/join. Sure, it's essentially just kind of a long advertisement for Maximum Fun, but it's a funny, profane one, with a lot of fucking around. Hey, some people watch the Super Bowl for the ads!

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Stuart takes us through another episode of "The Peach Pit," everyone's favorite after-show for The Flop House that's also just a part of the regular Flop House.

Come see us at The Bell House, on April 2!

Become a supporting member, at https://maximumfun.org/join/

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Just a note to let you know that, for internal reasons relating to the MFD, we're pushing the release of  this one mini to late Sunday, March 19. In general the release schedule will remain the same.

In the meanwhile, why not check out our newly-somewhat-busy YouTube channel?

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The listener who entered our Sexy Xenomorph contest under the name "Do Critters Next" asked us to "Do Critters next," so we did Critters next, which has ceased to become "next" and is now now. And who better to join us for this slice of silly 80s monster horror than a man whose own films bear the influence of that horror decade, Stephen Kostanski, the director of Psycho Goreman, the movie that turned Stuart Wellington into a brain in a tube.

Wikipedia page for Critters

Movies recommended in this episode:

Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me (1992)

Before Sunrise (1995)

Girlfriends (1978)

Ghoulies 3: Ghoulies Go To College (1991)

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Dan puts on his gamesmaster hat, to run Elliott and Stu through a gamut of short games, based on the movie offerings of various streaming services.

Come see us at The Bell House, on April 2!

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Idris Elba is undoubtedly a great actor, a charismatic presence, and a handsome man par excellence, but... maybe he needs to fire his agent? After all, this is his EIGHTH appearance in a Flop House movie (possibly there were more; we didn't count that carefully), so it's fair to say that his movie roles have never quite matched up to his best work on TV, or his talents in general. Is Beast the one that will break the streak? He DOES punch a lion...

Wikipedia page for Beast

Movies recommended in this episode:

Tough Guys Don't Dance

A Wounded Fawn

Dark Star

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Stuart "Tuboy" Wellington brings back his popular Flop House mini format of "forget about movies, what about television for a while?" and Dan and Elliott follow him for some free-rangin' TV talk!

Come see us at The Bell House, on April 2!

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What's that? The chilly nip of Shocktober on the wind? That's right, kiddies! It's your old pal the Flopkeeper, with another spookifying or snorifying yarn! It's called Night Swim, and it's about a HAUNTED POOL! Is there pee in the pool too? Probably! Terrifying! Grab your goggles and let's dive in!

We're in season 2 of FlopTV! Pop in for individual episodes, or get a price break with a season pass! Peruse the full line-up and/or get tickets here! And hey, while you’re clicking on stuff, why not subscribe to our NEWSLETTER, “Flop Secrets?!”

Wikipedia page for Night Swim

Recommended in this episode:

The Substance (2024)

A Different Man (2024)

The Verdict (1946)

Go to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, go to https://www.squarespace.com/FLOP  to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

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No, not Rian Johnson and Natasha Lyonne's riff on Columbo, Poker Face, nor even Lady Gaga's early hit single. The Poker Face we discuss in this episode is a Russell Crowe project through and through, with him not only starring, but writing and directing as well! It's nice that the man is branching out. Too bad this movie takes so damn long to figure out what it's about!

Wikipedia page for Poker Face

Movies recommended in this episode:

The People's Joker

Infinity Pool

Guillermo Del Toro's Pinocchio

California Split

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Our esteemed host for the mini, Mr. Elliott Kalan, takes Dan and Stu on a tour through Oscar history by quizzing them on some of the most forgettable Best Picture winners of all time.

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Booksmart was one of Dan's favorite movies of its year. Director Olivia Wilde's big-budget follow-up, Don't Worry Darling... has problems. Dan, Stu, and Elliott chat about them, while mostly ignoring the extra-textural hubbub around the movie. Mostly. Don't worry, darlings. Or do. We aren't your dads.

Wikipedia page for Don't Worry Darling

Movies recommended in this episode:

Matinee

Kaithi

The Garden of Women

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This is one of the zanier minis we've done -- so much so, that we kind of don't even want to spoil it for you. Just take a number, and dive right in!

Vote for your favorite Sexy Xenomorph music video!

Come see us at The Bell House, on April 2! We've picked the movie by now: we'll be discussing BATTLEFIELD EARTH!

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We start the new year off with a BIG movie, especially according to its star, Mr. Dwayne Mr. "The Rock" E. Normous Johnson. It's Black Adam, a superhero probably even fewer of you have heard of than Shazam (nee Captain Marvel), in whose pages B. Adam first appeared. He's not your daddy's superhero, in that he kills a bunch of people, but he probably is your daddy's (or granddaddy's) superhero in the sense that he's from 1945. Anyway, they made a long, boring movie about him, so we talk about it.

ALSO: It's time to VOTE FOR YOUR FAVORITE SEXY XENOMORPH MUSIC VIDEO! Polls close at the end of the month, so register your opinion now!

Wikipedia page for Black Adam

Movies recommended in this episode:

The Intern

Aftersun

The Banshees of Inisherin

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Hope you're ready for a "mini" that's as long as one of our regular episodes! With the new year just beginning, Dan, Stuart, and Elliott look back and discuss their top movies of 2022 (with the caveat that none of us has the time to see everything in the "best of '22 conversation), and also branch out to some other highlights and lowlights of the year in film.

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Mr. Christmas himself, Alonso Duralde, of many other podcasts, returns to dissect the third, and most narratively sweaty, of the Santa Clause trilogy, "The Escape Clause." Also, if you're wondering who stole Cagemas, Dan says a few words about it. Let's not say "goodbye" let's just say "congratulations, Mr. Cage, on paying off your castles."

Wikipedia page for The Santa Clause 3

Movies recommended in this episode:

Adult Swim Yule Log

The Big Four

Mahanagar

Confess, Fletch

Ever tried Microdosing? Visit Microdose.com and use FLOP for 30% off + Free Shipping. 

TODAY is your LAST CHANCE to enter the SEXY XENOMORPH VIDEO CONTEST! The entry period ends with 2022! 

Sexy Xenomorph Contest: Full Rules —

• To enter the contest, make a music video for the song Sexy Xenomorph (link to song in show notes) in a style of your choosing.
• Once you’ve completed your masterpiece, upload it as a public video on YouTube with the words “Sexy Xenomorph” somewhere in the title, and be sure to credit the music to Howell Dawdy’s Fast Track and The Flop House podcast somewhere in the video or video description.
• Once the video is uploaded, email a link to us at flophousepodcast@gmail.com with the subject line “Sexy Xenomorph Contest.”
• We’ll be accepting entries up to midnight on New Year’s Eve, 2022.
• Once we have all the entries, the Flop House gang will pick our favorite ones – somewhere between 5 and 10 depending on how many entries we get – and we’ll set up a page on our website where people can vote on who wins.
• The winner will get a Flop House prize pack and will get to pick a movie for us to cover.

Help support this show and unlock bonus content! Become a member at https://maximumfun.org/joinflop

What even is a Christmas movie anyway?

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Stick an Academy Award-nominated director with three of the most acclaimed actors currently working and an absolutely berzerk cavalcade of supporting stars and the resulting movie's gotta be fantastic, right? Right? We test that theory with a viewing of the wildly critically-mixed (at best) Amsterdam. One of us kinda liked it. The others ridicule it extensively. It's all good fun.

Wikipedia page for Amsterdam

Movies recommended in this episode:

Rolling Thunder

Double Lover

Fruit of Paradise

Ever tried Microdosing? Visit Microdose.com and use FLOP for 30% off + Free Shipping. 

For those wishing to enter the SEXY XENOMORPH VIDEO CONTEST, here is a direct link to the isolated song file for the song of the winter, Sexy Xenomorph.

Sexy Xenomorph Contest: Full Rules —

• To enter the contest, make a music video for the song Sexy Xenomorph (link to song in show notes) in a style of your choosing.
• Once you’ve completed your masterpiece, upload it as a public video on YouTube with the words “Sexy Xenomorph” somewhere in the title, and be sure to credit the music to Howell Dawdy’s Fast Track and The Flop House podcast somewhere in the video or video description.
• Once the video is uploaded, email a link to us at flophousepodcast@gmail.com with the subject line “Sexy Xenomorph Contest.”
• We’ll be accepting entries up to midnight on New Year’s Eve, 2022.
• Once we have all the entries, the Flop House gang will pick our favorite ones – somewhere between 5 and 10 depending on how many entries we get – and we’ll set up a page on our website where people can vote on who wins.
• The winner will get a Flop House prize pack and will get to pick a movie for us to cover.

Help support this show and unlock bonus content! Become a member at https://maximumfun.org/joinflop

You remember Flop House superstar, Parker Bennett, right? He co-wrote the legendarily strange Super Mario Bros, and we talked to him about his experiences with that movie in FH Mini 39. Well, he heard us mention A Gnome Named Gnorm in our recent mini with Griffin Newman and dropped us a line to reveal he and his partner did some punch-up on everyone's favorite buddy comedy starring a horrific gnome and Anthony Michael Hall. So he's back to share more tales of his fascinating career!

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Sharlene Wellington drops by to talk to us about 1985's aerobics romance Perfect, and her new endeavor Jiggle Studio!

Sharlene's Kickstarter!

FlopTV episode 2 is tonight! You can pop in for individual episodes, or get a price break with a season pass — more info (including the full line-up) and tickets available here! And hey, while you’re clicking on stuff, why not subscribe to our NEWSLETTER, “Flop Secrets?!”

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Wait didn't we do this movie before? Don't be ridiculous. That was Marmaduke (2010) this is Marmaduke (2022). How could you possibly have mixed that up? Anyway, this ain't your daddy's Marmaduke, provided you have a very young daddy (in the case of the previous film) or a very old daddy (who loves the comic). This is the animated one for Netflix, with Pete Davidson as the titular Duke of Marma. Does it make the previous one look like the Citizen Kane of Marmaduke films? Kinda!

Also, for those wishing to enter the SEXY XENOMORPH VIDEO CONTEST, here is a direct link to the isolated song file for the song of the winter, Sexy Xenomorph. Contest rules can be found down below, if you prefer reading them with your eye-holes over hearing them with your ear-holes.

Wikipedia page for Marmaduke

Movies recommended in this episode:

The Fabelmans

Bones and All

Too Late for Tears

Ever tried Microdosing? Visit Microdose.com and use FLOP for 30% off + Free Shipping. 

Sexy Xenomorph Contest: Full Rules —

• To enter the contest, make a music video for the song Sexy Xenomorph (link to song in show notes) in a style of your choosing.
• Once you’ve completed your masterpiece, upload it as a public video on YouTube with the words “Sexy Xenomorph” somewhere in the title, and be sure to credit the music to Howell Dawdy’s Fast Track and The Flop House podcast somewhere in the video or video description.
• Once the video is uploaded, email a link to us at flophousepodcast@gmail.com with the subject line “Sexy Xenomorph Contest.”
• We’ll be accepting entries up to midnight on New Year’s Eve, 2022.
• Once we have all the entries, the Flop House gang will pick our favorite ones – somewhere between 5 and 10 depending on how many entries we get – and we’ll set up a page on our website where people can vote on who wins.
• The winner will get a Flop House prize pack and will get to pick a movie for us to cover.

Help support this show and unlock bonus content! Become a member at https://maximumfun.org/joinflop

Dan leads us on a tour of nut movies. It kind of makes sense when you listen to it.

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Kevin Maher, our old friend, host of Kevin Geeks Out, and author of the new book Santa Doesn't Need Your Help (with illustrations by New Yorker cartoonist Joe Dator) joins us to discuss the straight-to-Netflix film reboot of the old sitcom, The Munsters. And who better to direct this comedy film, than Rob Zombie, the rocker-turned-director known for his... light comic touch?

Also, for those wishing to enter the SEXY XENOMORPH VIDEO CONTEST, here is a direct link to the isolated song file for the song of the winter, Sexy Xenomorph. Contest rules can be found down below, if you prefer reading them with your eye-holes over hearing them with your ear-holes.

Wikipedia page for The Munsters

Movies recommended in this episode:

Eega

The Square

The Tall Target

Happy Birthday to Me

Ever tried Microdosing? Visit Microdose.com and use FLOP for 30% off + Free Shipping. 

Sexy Xenomorph Contest: Full Rules --

• To enter the contest, make a music video for the song Sexy Xenomorph (link to song in show notes) in a style of your choosing.
• Once you’ve completed your masterpiece, upload it as a public video on YouTube with the words “Sexy Xenomorph” somewhere in the title, and be sure to credit the music to Howell Dawdy’s Fast Track and The Flop House podcast somewhere in the video or video description.
• Once the video is uploaded, email a link to us at flophousepodcast@gmail.com with the subject line "Sexy Xenomorph Contest."
• We’ll be accepting entries up to midnight on New Year’s Eve, 2022.
• Once we have all the entries, the Flop House gang will pick our favorite ones – somewhere between 5 and 10 depending on how many entries we get – and we’ll set up a page on our website where people can vote on who wins.
• The winner will get a Flop House prize pack and will get to pick a movie for us to cover.

Help support this show and unlock bonus content! Become a member at https://maximumfun.org/joinflop

We invite Griffin Newman (of Blank Check fame) on for a mini with an excess of premises. Is it about Griffin addressing the nation? Is it a pop quiz? Is it a quiz GAME? Is it about A Gnome Named Gnorm? Is it another of Stu's Flop House spinoffs in his increasingly large Flop Podcastic Universe? Who knows? The important thing is, WE had fun.

Watch Griffin as an animated chipmunk in the upcoming Disney+ movie, Disenchanted!

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On this episode, we discuss Aline, the movie about a French Canadian diva who becomes wildly popular, marries her manager, plays Vegas, and sings My Heart Will Go On from the film Titanic, but is NOT Celine Dion. She's Aline. ALINE. Oh, and also she has an adult face on a kid's body. Y'know. Aline.

Wikipedia page for Aline

Movies recommended in this episode:

Paganini Horror

Decision to Leave

After Life

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Stuart invites Elliott and Dan onto The Peach Pit After Dark, an after show discussing the popular Flop House after show "The Peach Pit"

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We talk about Countdown, the film about a killer app. Imagine the terror of ordering what you think will be a delicious plate of mozzarella sticks only to have them viciously... what? It's the OTHER type of app? Aw man. An Internet-based horror movie? Those are never good? Will this one break the curse?

Wikipedia page for Countdown

Movies recommended in this episode:

Tár

El Sur

The Innocents

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Elliott ranks his top eleven Charlies from cinema, and the others discuss. Why? It kind of makes sense if you listen. But not really.

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The star of the show, Hallie Haglund, returns to talk about ANOTHER adorable moppet, that incorrigible, family-killin' Esther, who's back 13 years later, for a prequel, where she's even younger! A big swing, fer shure -- does the inaccurately-named Orphan: First Kill pull it off? Find out in the first episode of SHOCKTOBER 2022!

Wikipedia page for Orphan: First Kill

Movies recommended in this episode:

Creating Rem Lezar

The Woman King

Passing

Earwig and the Witch

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Dan brings back his popular IMDb Goofs game to challenge Elliott and Stu on their 90s knowledge.

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For our second Smalltember/Smallvember pick, we take on a film that Dan vetoed last year because he feared his fragile psyche could not take a repeat viewing, but -- like a bad giant golden robot -- it always turns up! Robot in the Family is its name, and it's a sustained 85 minute panic attack in the form of a low-budget 90's "family" comedy.

FlopTV is going strong! You can pop in for individual episodes, or get a price break with a season pass — more info (including the full line-up of films discussed) and tickets are available here! And hey, while you’re clicking on stuff, why not subscribe to our NEWSLETTER, “Flop Secrets?!”Wikipedia page for Robot in the Family

Recommended in this episode:

The House by the Cemetery (1981)

Rye Lane (2023)

The Deep End (2001)

Go to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, go to https://www.squarespace.com/FLOP  to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Head to factormeals.com/flop50 and use code flop50 to get 50% off your first box plus 20% off your next month.

Help support this show and unlock bonus content! Become a member at https://maximumfun.org/joinflop

For our second and final Smalltember(vember?) show of 2022, we talk Pinocchio. No, not that one. Not that one either. The Russian one with Pauly Shore. Is that a thing that exists, and not just some weird chain of words we strung together? Apparently! We watched it, so unless it was a collective bi-coastal hallucination, it's real! And we had to watch it, so now you have to listen!

Movies recommended in this episode:

Barbarian

Saloum

The Lady Vanishes

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Stuart welcomes Dan and Elliott to "The Pitch Pit," his Flop House after-show, which is definitely a long-running podcast and not just something he made up for this mini.

Ever tried Microdosing? Visit Microdose.com and use FLOP for 30% off + Free Shipping.

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Even though the last few years may have made everyone feel unstuck in time, there are still some things you can depend on -- namely that, come the fall, Dan and Elliott will argue about whether it's Smalltember or Smallvember. Anywhooo, we kick off the smallest time of year with Amityville in Space, the movie that dares ask the question "What if Amityville... but in space?"

Movies recommended in this episode:

Resurrection

Bodies Bodies Bodies

The Gangster

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Elliott finally makes honest men of Dan and Stu, by quizzing them about movie marriages.

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Netflix sure loves to make movies that sit on their home screen for a week or so and then no one talks about again, huh? At least it gave the directors a chance to insult movie theaters. Anyway, we talked about their latest "hit" The Gray Man.

Wikipedia entry for The Gray Man

Movies recommended in this episode:

Lilo & Stitch

The Man Who Could Work Miracles

Nope

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In which Dan's premise is very silly.

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Covid has kept us from in-person live shows for more than two years, but last weekend we made our triumphant return at The Bell House in Brooklyn, and we hope to line up more soonish (in addition to keeping the odd streaming show)! What could possibly live up to that event status? Uh... how about a LIVING VAMPIRE? We discuss Morbius! Fangs to all who came out in person!

Wikipedia entry for Morbius

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Stuart tries to explain JoJo's Bizarre Adventure to Dan and Elliott. Are they more confused afterward than they were at the beginning? Perhaps!

Thank you to Policygenius for their sponsorship.

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Episode 375 is ALIVE! We keep raiding Blank Check for some of our finest guest stars, which is why it was only a matter of time before we'd add "America's finest film critic," Ben Hosley, to that list. And Ben asked if he could do "that stupid robot movie from the 80's," and following a brief round of "Is THIS the Film?, Dan figured out that Ben was asking for Short Circuit 2. Thus it twas spake. Thus it came to pass.

Wikipedia entry for Short Circuit 2

Movies recommended in this episode

The Cat

The Counselor

RRR

Assassin's Creed

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It may SOUND like a Cinemax film from the 90s, but Virtual Obsession was actually a 3-hour ABC television EVENT, starring Peter "Caterpillar Brow" Gallagher, Mimi Rogers, and Bridgette Wilson, and directed by Mick "I Know Stephen King" Garris. Will Dan be able to convince Stu and Elliott that they're sad they missed it?

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Elliott asks us a simple, but nearly impossible question -- which films best represent each month in the calendar year? The answers are predictably chaotic.

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Somehow one of the most boring movies we've EVER covered on the show + Dan recovering from Covid-19 = an especially raucous episode of The Flop House. We suddenly remembered that we could watch horror movies during months that AREN'T October, so we decided to make the ultimate sacrifice to watch Firestarter -- we signed up for Peacock. Did we regret it? Listen to find out!

Wikipedia entry for Firestarter

Movies recommended in this episode

Nanny McPhee

Fire Island

Through a Glass Darkly

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We may not love the direction the country is headed right now, but at least the recent Independence Day holiday inspired this hilarious game from Elliott!

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The Mixed-Review House rolls on with Kenneth Branagh's second outing as Hercule Poirot, Death on the Nile. It's a character he seems committed to playing, despite seemingly having no particular understanding or affinity for the source material. But hey, at least he's keeping the CGI pyramids industry in business!

Wikipedia entry for Death On the Nile

Movies recommended in this episode

Mad God

Miami Vice

Horror Express

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