Explore every episode of the podcast The Ex-Good Girl Podcast
| Title | Pub. Date | Duration | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Episode 181 - You Are Not in Trouble with Kristen Carder | 28 Oct 2026 | 00:41:33 | |
Have you ever felt like you’re in trouble, even as an adult? Like you’re not doing enough for other people, someone is disappointed in you, or there’s always something you need to make right? This is the experience that coach Kristen Carder explores in her book You’re Not in Trouble: The ADHD Guide to Building Healthy, Connected Relationships. In this conversation, you’ll hear why relationships can feel so difficult when you have ADHD or grew up in an environment where you were taught to put everyone else’s needs above your own. Kristen shares practical frameworks to help you understand your relationships, recognize what’s working and what isn’t, and finally have the tools to be honest about what you want from your relationships. How long have you been putting off the hard conversation? Join Sara live for one hour for her free workshop, SPEAK UP. There’s no replay, so bring the conversation you keep avoiding. You’ll learn the Three Speak Up Skills and figure out what’s keeping you stuck. Here’s what you’ll uncover in this episode:
Find Kristen here: www.instagram.com/i.have.adhd.podcast www.facebook.com/ihaveadhdpodcast Register for SPEAK UP: sarafisk.coach/voice Find Sara here: | |||
| Episode 180 - From People Pleaser to Trans Rights Advocate with Mandy Giles | 21 Oct 2026 | 00:49:32 | |
Staying in the box you were taught to fit into can feel easier than speaking up and risking conflict, but what happens when silence means letting down the people you love? In this episode, you’ll hear from Mandy Giles, founder and CEO of Parents of Trans Youth, about how parenting transgender young adults helped her find her voice and become an advocate for the world she wants her kids to live in. Her story shows what can happen when standing up for what matters becomes more important than keeping everyone else happy. How long have you been putting off the hard conversation? Join Sara live for one hour for her free workshop, SPEAK UP. There’s no replay, so bring the conversation you keep avoiding. You’ll learn the Three Speak Up Skills and figure out what’s keeping you stuck. Here’s what you’ll uncover in this episode:
Find Mandy here: www.instagram.com/parentsoftransyouth Mandy Giles (she/her) is the parent of two transgender young adults and the founder and CEO of Parents of Trans Youth, a social impact business that provides learning, support, and community for caregivers of transgender, nonbinary, and gender-diverse kids and young adults. She has been heavily involved in advocacy work since 2021 and has testified before the Texas Legislature dozens of times. Mandy is the 2026 Pride Houston Ally Grand Marshal, recipient of the Equality Texas 2025 Business Champion Award, and former president of PFLAG Houston. Register for SPEAK UP: sarafisk.coach/voice Find Sara here: | |||
| Episode 179 - Best Of: My Favorite Sentences | 14 Oct 2026 | 00:25:10 | |
The holiday season is approaching fast, and alongside the excitement, you may already be feeling the weight of all the expectations that come with it. Between family traditions, travel plans, and trying to make everyone happy, you can end up with very little energy to enjoy the things you were looking forward to. If you’re ready to do things differently this year, today you’ll get three simple sentences you can use to help you navigate difficult conversations with loved ones when speaking up feels hard. This episode was originally released closer to the holidays, but it is worth revisiting now so you can keep these sentences in your back pocket as you start making plans and navigating expectations. How long have you been putting off the hard conversation? Join Sara live for one hour for her free workshop, SPEAK UP. There’s no replay, so bring the conversation you keep avoiding. You’ll learn the Three Speak Up Skills and figure out what’s keeping you stuck. Here’s what you’ll uncover in this episode:
Register for SPEAK UP: sarafisk.coach/voice Find Sara here: | |||
| Episode 178 - Why Overthinking Keeps Us From Doing What We Want with Priyanka Venugopal | 07 Oct 2026 | 00:44:55 | |
Overthinking can cost you more than time. It can keep you from taking chances and becoming the person who can have what you want. In this episode, you’ll hear a conversation with Dr. Priyanka Venugopal about what it took to move from thinking “Probably not me” to “Why not me?” and pursue a dream without having any evidence that it would work. This mindset shift helped her lose over 60 pounds without counting calories and prepared her to take the stage for her TEDx Talk. It’s not easy, but when you learn to make peace with the idea of failure and be proud of yourself just for trying, so much becomes possible. How long have you been putting off the hard conversation? Join Sara live for one hour for her free workshop, SPEAK UP. There’s no replay, so bring the conversation you keep avoiding. You’ll learn the Three Speak Up Skills and figure out what’s keeping you stuck. Here’s what you’ll uncover in this episode:
Find Priyanka here: https://youtu.be/-p6KtUizbvs?si=gw38DixCjlL9TyED https://www.instagram.com/dr.priyankavenugopal/ https://priyankavenugopal.com/ https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-burn-stress-lose-weight-podcast/id1618073362 Dr. Priyanka Venugopal is an OB-GYN physician, podcaster, TEDx speaker, and entrepreneur. She’s also a coffee-lover and self-proclaimed expert overthinker. After losing 60 pounds while juggling call shifts and two young kids, she discovered the real problem for smart women was never a lack of discipline... it was the time and energy lost to overthinking. Today she helps overachieving professional women reach their next goal in health, home, or career — and get back the 10+ hours a week overthinking quietly steals. Register for SPEAK UP: sarafisk.coach/voice Find Sara here: | |||
| Episode 177 - Boundaries Tune-Up | 30 Sep 2026 | 00:22:42 | |
How much time and energy do you spend defending choices you’ve already trusted yourself to make? Whether it’s your career, parenting, relationships, or something else entirely, it’s exhausting to keep explaining yourself after you’ve already done the work of deciding. Good girl conditioning can make you feel obligated to defend yourself when someone questions your choices, instead of recognizing what’s actually happening in the conversation. In this episode, you’ll learn the difference between a request, a demand, and a boundary so you can get more clear about what you will and won’t participate in and build the skills to talk about it. How long have you been putting off the hard conversation? Join Sara live for one hour for her free workshop, SPEAK UP. There’s no replay, so bring the conversation you keep avoiding. You’ll learn the Three Speak Up Skills and figure out what’s keeping you stuck. Here’s what you’ll uncover in this episode:
Register for SPEAK UP: sarafisk.coach/voice Find Sara here: | |||
| Episode 176 - How Good Girl Conditioning Shows Up in Dating with Dr. Jennie Young | 23 Sep 2026 | 00:53:45 | |
How much time do you spend overanalyzing the texts you send to a potential partner or giving guys on dating apps a chance because they seem to have the traits you’ve been taught to look for? If you’re tired of continuing conversations because you feel like you should, giving someone the benefit of the doubt when the evidence in front of you says otherwise, or second-guessing whether you’re being too picky, this episode will help you recognize how good girl conditioning can shape the way you date. Today’s guest, Dr. Jennie Young, creator of the Burned Haystack Dating Method, helps you see the patterns in your dating life more clearly so you can trust your judgment and make choices that create more peace and safety. Want to take this work deeper? Join Sara live for one hour for her free workshop, SPEAK UP. There’s no replay, so bring the conversation you keep avoiding. You’ll learn the Three Speak Up Skills and figure out what’s keeping you stuck. Here’s what you’ll uncover in this episode:
Register for SPEAK UP: sarafisk.coach/voice Find Jennie here: burnedhaystack.substack.com/p/burned-haystack-dating-method-quick www.facebook.com/groups/9116647515019601 Find Sara here: | |||
| What Do You Say When... You Don't Want to Go? | 15 Sep 2026 | 00:06:31 | |
What do you say when you don’t want to go? Your friends are making plans, everyone is excited, and you’re worried that if you say “no” this time, they’ll stop inviting you altogether. So you say “yes” even though what they’re planning isn’t really your thing, and you spend the rest of the week dreading it. You may tell yourself you don’t have a good enough reason to say no, but the cost of going along with everyone else is more than one night you don’t enjoy. This is the final episode of a series called “What Do You Say When…” These short episodes will each give you one concrete thing you can say when you’re stuck in a difficult moment. If you want more, join Sara live for one hour this week for a free workshop, SPEAK UP. There’s no replay, so bring the conversation you keep avoiding. You’ll learn the Three Speak Up Skills and figure out what’s keeping you stuck. Register for SPEAK UP: sarafisk.coach/voice Find Sara here: | |||
| What Do You Say When... You're Unhappy With How it Turned Out? | 14 Sep 2026 | 00:06:36 | |
What do you say when you’re unhappy with how it turned out? You get your nails done or have new bathroom tile put in, and the work isn’t what you expected. Still, you hesitate to say anything because you don’t want to be viewed as picky, difficult, or demanding. You’ve learned that being agreeable is safer than asking for what you really want, so you might say “No, no, it’s fine” and live with the disappointment instead. But the cost of avoiding that uncomfortable moment is more than paying for something you don’t like. This is the sixth episode of a series called “What Do You Say When…” These short episodes will each give you one concrete thing you can say when you’re stuck in a difficult moment. If you want more, join Sara live for one hour this week for a free workshop, SPEAK UP. There’s no replay, so bring the conversation you keep avoiding. You’ll learn the Three Speak Up Skills and figure out what’s keeping you stuck. Register for SPEAK UP: sarafisk.coach/voice Find Sara here: | |||
| What Do You Say When... Your Kid Wants the Money Before He Does the Work? | 13 Sep 2026 | 00:07:34 | |
What do you say when your kid wants the money before he does the work? You know the lawn hasn’t been mowed, but when he comes asking for $40, it feels easier to say “yes” than to deal with his disappointment or an argument. You want to have a good relationship with your kid, and every “no” can feel like it costs you closeness. But when you keep bending the rules to avoid that discomfort, the real cost is a relationship where you’re constantly reminding or doing things yourself instead of building the trust and mutual respect you really want. This is the fifth episode of a series called “What Do You Say When…” These short episodes will each give you one concrete thing you can say when you’re stuck in a difficult moment. If you want more, join Sara live for one hour this week for a free workshop, SPEAK UP. There’s no replay, so bring the conversation you keep avoiding. You’ll learn the Three Speak Up Skills and figure out what’s keeping you stuck. Register for SPEAK UP: sarafisk.coach/voice Find Sara here: | |||
| What Do You Say When... You're Done Being the Family Peacemaker? | 12 Sep 2026 | 00:07:01 | |
What do you say when you’re done being the family peacemaker? This pattern has probably been going on for years. You may tell yourself that someone has to do it or that it’s just easier when you handle things. You’re worried your family will fall apart if you don’t mediate conversations between your siblings or your parents, but constantly managing everyone else’s emotions is costing you time and energy. This is the fourth episode of a series called “What Do You Say When…” Over the next week, these short episodes will each give you one concrete thing you can say when you’re stuck in a difficult moment. If you want more, join Sara live for one hour this week for a free workshop, SPEAK UP. There’s no replay, so bring the conversation you keep avoiding. You’ll learn the Three Speak Up Skills and figure out what’s keeping you stuck. Register for SPEAK UP: sarafisk.coach/voice Find Sara here: | |||
| What Do You Say When... You're the One Who Always Reaches Out? | 11 Sep 2026 | 00:07:04 | |
What do you do when you’re the one who always reaches out? If you’re the one who always sends the text, makes the plans, and keeps the friendship moving, you may eventually start to feel tired or resentful, wondering why the effort isn’t more balanced. You can tell yourself it’s okay because she’s busy or you’re just better at planning, but the issue goes deeper than fairness. You’re ultimately wondering whether the friendship means as much to her as it does to you, and that uncertainty and loneliness you feel come at a cost. This is the third episode of a series called “What Do You Say When…” Over the next week, these short episodes will each give you one concrete thing you can say when you’re stuck in a difficult moment. If you want more, join Sara live for one hour this week for a free workshop, SPEAK UP. There’s no replay, so bring the conversation you keep avoiding. You’ll learn the Three Speak Up Skills and figure out what’s keeping you stuck. Register for SPEAK UP: sarafisk.coach/voice Find Sara here: | |||
| What Do You Say When... You Have to Tell a Client Something She Doesn't Want to Hear? | 10 Sep 2026 | 00:06:07 | |
What do you say when you have to tell a client something she doesn’t want to hear? You know something isn’t lining up during a presentation, but you hesitate to point it out because you don’t want to disappoint her or be the person who ruins the meeting. You might tell yourself it’s not your responsibility or soften what you really need to say, but protecting yourself from her reaction costs more than you may realize: your professional integrity and the confidence that comes from speaking up. This is the second episode of a series called “What Do You Say When…” Over the next week, these short episodes will each give you one concrete thing you can say when you’re stuck in a difficult moment. If you want more, join Sara live for one hour this week for a free workshop, SPEAK UP. There’s no replay, so bring the conversation you keep avoiding. You’ll learn the Three Speak Up Skills and figure out what’s keeping you stuck. Register for SPEAK UP: sarafisk.coach/voice Find Sara here: | |||
| What Do You Say When... He's on His Phone During the Show? | 09 Sep 2026 | 00:07:55 | |
What do you say when he’s on his phone during the show? Maybe you tell yourself it’s not a big deal, so you don’t say anything. There’s no argument and no chance of being hurt by what he says when you bring it up. But your silence is still costing you something: connection. This is the first episode of a series called “What Do You Say When…” Over the next week, these short episodes will each give you one concrete thing you can say when you’re stuck in a difficult moment. If you want more, join Sara live for one hour this week for a free workshop, SPEAK UP. There’s no replay, so bring the conversation you keep avoiding. You’ll learn the Three Speak Up Skills and figure out what’s keeping you stuck. Register for SPEAK UP: sarafisk.coach/voice Find Sara here: | |||
| Episode 175 - Good Girl Math | 02 Sep 2026 | 00:25:22 | |
Is it normal for you to spend several hours a day thinking about a conversation you’re avoiding? Three hours each day adds up to 1,095 hours a year, which means that’s more than 45 days of your life dedicated to thinking about something you haven’t even said out loud yet. If you’re stressed, exhausted, and overwhelmed, you may be spending far more time and energy on difficult conversations than you realize by doing the good girl math: the internal cost-benefit analysis of whether speaking up is worth the risk. You’re rehearsing what you’ll say, looking for the right words and the right time, and trying to predict how the other person will respond before you ever open your mouth. Today, you’ll learn why all of that thinking feels productive and what’s actually happening underneath it so you can get those hours back and have the freedom and confidence that comes from knowing you can have any conversation you need to. How long have you been putting off the hard conversation? Join Sara live for one hour on September 9th at 12PM PT or September 15th at 2PM PT for her free workshop, SPEAK UP. There’s no replay, so bring the conversation you keep avoiding. You’ll learn the Three Speak Up Skills and figure out what’s keeping you stuck. Here’s what you’ll uncover in this episode:
Register for the FREE workshop: sarafisk.coach/voice Find Sara here: | |||
| Episode 174 - Two Types of Hard Conversations | 26 Aug 2026 | 00:20:43 | |
Most of us know when we need to have a hard conversation. It’s more difficult to notice the ones we’re quietly putting off because we think there’s always more time. There are two different kinds of hard conversations, and understanding which kind you’re dealing with can make a difference. A deadline conversation has urgency built in: avoiding it can lead to unwanted consequences. A drift conversation is about something important, but it's easy to postpone because nothing terrible happens today if you don’t say what you need to say. In this episode, I’m breaking down both types of conversations, why drift conversations can be especially easy to avoid, and how to start participating more intentionally in the relationships that matter to you. Because whether there’s a deadline or not, the same skills can help you start the conversation, stay in it, and handle whatever happens next. Here’s what I cover:
Reserve your seat for Sara’s next workshop: sarafisk.coach/voice Find Sara here: | |||
| Episode 173 - The Motivational Triad: Why Avoiding the Hard Conversation Feels So Good | 19 Aug 2026 | 00:30:31 | |
Is there a difficult conversation you know you need to have but keep putting off? You may have noticed that every time you decide to wait, you feel a little better even though you’re avoiding something you actually want to do. That relief is real, and in this episode, we’re breaking down the motivational triad and why people-pleasing and avoiding conflict can feel so good in the short term, even when they’re creating results you don’t want. Because once you understand what’s happening, you can start practicing a different response: having the hard conversation instead of dropping hints that something is wrong, waiting for the other person to change, or continuing to endure a situation you don’t want to be in. Here’s what I cover:
Reserve your seat for Sara’s next workshop: sarafisk.coach/voice Find Sara here: | |||
| Episode 172 - Are Your Thoughts Keeping You Stuck? | 29 Jul 2026 | 00:22:05 | |
How often do you have thoughts like, "I hate doing this," "I'm bad at this," or "What's the point?" and brush them aside? We often push through our days without stopping to question the stories running through our minds, but what if those seemingly small thoughts are pointing to something much deeper? In this episode, I'm sharing why learning to notice your thoughts and getting curious about what's underneath them can change the way you move through your life. The next version of you is possible, and creating the life you want sometimes starts with uncovering the beliefs you've been holding onto so you can finally let them go. Here’s what I cover:
Reserve your seat for Sara’s next workshop: sarafisk.coach/voice Find Sara here: | |||
| Episode 171 - The Small People-Pleasing Behaviors That Add Up | 22 Jul 2026 | 00:21:23 | |
Most women are familiar with what people-pleasing looks like. You say yes when you mean no, avoid conflict, or never ask for what you need. But some of the most exhausting people-pleasing doesn't happen in those big, obvious moments. It happens in tiny ways that have become so automatic we don’t notice them. In this episode, we're looking at these subtle habits through the lens of micro people-pleasing: the invisible, everyday behaviors driven by your nervous system that quietly steal your time, energy, and attention. Once you understand these small tendencies, you can begin interrupting them before they add up. Here's what I cover:
Reserve your seat for my next workshop: sarafisk.coach/voice Find Sara here: | |||
| Episode 170 - The People-Pleasing Conversation I Had With My Teenager | 15 Jul 2026 | 00:19:53 | |
People-pleasing tendencies start much earlier in life than many of us realize, and there comes a point when children need to begin unlearning those behaviors so they don't carry them into adulthood. Inspired by a conversation I recently had with my 16-year-old son, I’m breaking down people-pleasing in a way that teens can understand and showing how the same tools I use with my coaching clients can help younger generations too. Learning to recognize these patterns and find your voice early is such a gift. Whether you're sharing this episode with a teen in your life or using these concepts to help guide and encourage them, I hope this episode gives you both more confidence to start speaking up. Here’s what I cover:
Reserve your seat for my next workshop: sarafisk.coach/voice Find Sara here: | |||
| Episode 169 - What I’m Working On Right Now: What Will They Think of Me? | 08 Jul 2026 | 00:19:30 | |
We all assume other people have it more figured out than we do. But beneath so many of our struggles is the same familiar good girl question: How am I going to be perceived? In this episode, I'm sharing three places where that question is still showing up in my own life: aging, body image, and using my voice. It’s easy to look at someone else’s life and think they have it all figured out, especially in the self-help world. That's why I think it matters that you know I'm on the same path, working through many of the same struggles I teach about. Today, you’ll hear how I’m working through it just like you. Here’s what I cover:
Reserve your seat for my next workshop: sarafisk.coach/sayitwithclarity Find Sara here: | |||
| Episode 168 - What is Your Silence Teaching Your Relationships? | 01 Jul 2026 | 00:17:00 | |
We often think of relationships as something we have: a marriage, a friendship, a relationship with our parents. But relationships are more like living things—they have their own patterns and ecosystems that two nervous systems create together over time. Every conversation shapes them, and every silence does too. In this episode, we're exploring what your silence is teaching your relationships and how speaking more honestly can build the intimacy and connection so many of us want, instead of isolating us from the people we care about. Here’s what I cover:
Reserve your seat for my next workshop: sarafisk.coach/sayitwithclarity Find Sara here: | |||
| Episode 167 - The Skill That Improves Every Difficult Conversation | 24 Jun 2026 | 00:26:03 | |
Most hard conversations don't start with an invitation. They start with something that sounds more like a verdict: You never listen to me. You don't respect my time. You don't care about my feelings. By the time we say those things, we've already decided what happened, what it means, and who's responsible. But those assumptions rarely resolve conflict. In this episode, I walk you through a shift that can completely change the quality of difficult conversations: moving from certainty to curiosity. When you learn to ask questions rather than make statements, you create more opportunities for connection. Here's what I cover:
Reserve your seat for my next workshop: sarafisk.coach/sayitwithclarity Find Sara here: | |||
| Episode 166 - There is No Time Limit to Talk About It | 10 Jun 2026 | 00:25:52 | |
How often do you finally realize what you want to say hours, days, months, or even years after a misunderstanding or disagreement? Some people need time to process, but it's easy to think you've missed your chance once the moment has passed. Learning how to have hard conversations has changed my life more than almost anything else, and I've noticed a rule many of us follow without ever questioning it: after enough time passes, you're no longer allowed to bring something up. In this episode, I'm unpacking where that rule came from, who it benefits, and the rule I've replaced it with so more women can stop carrying unresolved hurt alone and start saying what they need to say. Here's what I cover:
Join me LIVE for a free workshop on June 11 at 9am PT or June 24th at 1pm PT. Register for Speak Up here: sarafisk.coach/voice Find Sara here: | |||
| Episode 165 - The Good Girl Rules are a High-Demand System | 03 Jun 2026 | 00:37:10 | |
A high-demand system is any structure that requires a significant amount of your time, energy, and identity in exchange for belonging. We often think about high-demand religions, workplaces, families, or cultures, but there is one system that is hard to recognize because it’s so ingrained in society that it just feels like the way things are supposed to be: the good girl rules. The unspoken expectations women absorb throughout their lives function like any other high-demand system. They reward compliance, create fear around stepping outside the rules, and keep us so focused on being good enough that we never get the chance to fully discover who we are. But understanding the systems we live in is the first step toward finding our way back to ourselves. Here’s what I cover:
Find Sara here: | |||
| Episode 164 - What I Wish I Would’ve Told You About Your Body | 27 May 2026 | 00:41:42 | |
Most women learn to experience their bodies through other people’s eyes before they ever learn how to truly live inside them. I’ve had a few conversations recently that brought up things I wish I had known about bodies when I was younger, and things I wish I had talked about with my own daughter. In this episode, I’m unpacking everything from the unspoken rules women absorb from a young age to the patriarchal systems that keep those rules in place. There is such a rich conversation here for mothers to have with their daughters, but also for us to have with the younger versions of ourselves who grew up inside these same systems of sexual objectification, shame, and discomfort in our bodies. Here’s what I cover:
Find Sara here: | |||
| Episode 163 - The Hidden People Pleasing of High Achievers | 20 May 2026 | 00:40:50 | |
There is a version of people-pleasing that hides behind competence, ambition, professionalism, and being the person everyone can count on. In this episode, I’m unpacking the patterns that show up in high achievers and what happens when competence becomes part of your identity. If the traits that brought you success are slowly starting to feel exhausting, it doesn’t mean you need to stop striving completely. It means there is a different way to experience achievement, one where you can be highly capable while also being supported, loved, helped, and truly known in reciprocal relationships. Here’s what I cover:
Find Sara here: | |||
| Episode 162 - The Patriarchal Double-Bind of Motherhood | 13 May 2026 | 00:34:02 | |
Patriarchy asks mothers to hold themselves to impossible standards and then blames them when they struggle. In this episode, I’m revisiting the patriarchal double-bind through the lens of motherhood and unpacking the expectations women are expected to follow all at once. We’ve become accustomed to policing others and ourselves based on the rules we’ve been taught a “good mother” should follow, while the realities of exhaustion, isolation, grief, resentment, and needing help are treated as personal failures. But motherhood is beautiful and hard, and acknowledging that both things can exist simultaneously is what begins to set women free. Here’s what I cover:
Find Sara here: | |||
| Episode 161 - The Two Conversation Buckets | 06 May 2026 | 00:25:20 | |
There are almost always two things happening when hard conversations feel impossible, and understanding the difference can change everything. In this episode, I’m introducing what I call the two communication buckets—clarity and vulnerability—and why they so often lead women into silence, self-protection, and disconnected relationships. You’ll hear why confusion between the two buckets is one of the biggest reasons hard conversations stay stuck, and how the relationships that feel most alive and nourishing are built on both the willingness to say the true thing and the willingness to let yourself truly be seen. Here’s what I cover:
Find Sara here: | |||
| Episode 160 - Staying Quiet Is Already Jeopardizing Your Relationships | 29 Apr 2026 | 00:27:20 | |
There’s one sentence I hear more than any other from the women I work with when we’re talking about hard conversations. It usually sounds like, I know I need to say something… but what if they get upset, what if they don’t like it, what if they push back? Underneath all of it is the same fear: what if I jeopardize the relationship? In this episode, we’re looking at where that fear comes from and how it’s really impacting your relationships, because resentment, anxiety, and disconnection don’t go away when you stay quiet; they just build over time. Here’s what I cover:
Find Sara here: | |||
| Episode 159 - Why Your “Yes” Feels So Hard to Find | 22 Apr 2026 | 00:16:33 | |
The reason you feel stuck is not because you’re weak or broken, even though your brain may be telling you that. You’re stuck because you’ve gotten so good at being fine for so long that you and everyone around you don’t know anything different. Even when you can understand that, there’s often another layer underneath it: this pattern is so ingrained that you don’t even know what you want anymore. In this episode, I’m breaking down why your “no” has become so loud, and how you can start to find your way back to your “yes” and the life you actually want. Here’s what I cover:
Find Sara here: | |||
| Episode 158 - When Speaking Up Changes Your Life with Jessica Carlson | 15 Apr 2026 | 00:46:34 | |
If you’ve been curious about what it looks like to say what you need to say in practice, today you’ll hear from someone who found her outside voice and is using it to create the life she wants. Jessica Carlson has spent years serving others—as a pastor’s wife, a mom, a teacher, and now supporting college students in getting the resources they need. Jessica and I first connected over our shared background in high-demand religion, and since we began working together, I’ve watched her life transform. She learned to speak up messily and imperfectly, and to support herself through hard conversations that once felt impossible. Jessica’s journey is a powerful example of how everything can shift when women use their voices, not just for themselves, but for the kind of change they want to see in the world. Here’s what we cover:
Jessica Carlson is a university career coach and former high school teacher. She lives in the midwest with her husband of 23 years and 2 children, both in college. She has a bachelor’s in English and secondary education and a master’s in education. She was raised in a fundamentalist high-demand religious context and then married a Christian pastor through which church experiences compounded the people pleasing she learned at an early age. At her core, she serves people but that service as a wife, mom, teacher, and community member caused her to lose herself. Jessica is a reflective thinker and someone who cares deeply about connection and meaning but has only recently realized that her voice matters and that it is powerful and she can impact systems. She is especially drawn to conversations about how we unlearn the pressure to be everything for everyone, and what it looks like to choose ourselves, sometimes for the first time. Find Jessica here: Find Sara here: | |||
| Find Your Outside Voice Part 6 - Your Outside Voice Is Waiting | 08 Apr 2026 | 00:09:07 | |
Save your spot for my upcoming workshop HERE! How to Find Your Outside Voice is a miniseries leading up to my free workshop, Say What You Need to Say. This series is driven by my deep belief that when women learn how to speak up in ways that feel safe and doable, it can change everything. In this episode, we’re talking about the life of freedom, confidence, and empowerment that is waiting for you on the other side of developing this skill. Register for Say What You Need to Say, a free one-hour workshop for women who are ready to finally ask for what they want and need in their relationships.
Find Sara here: | |||
| Find Your Outside Voice Part 5 - The Two Things That Will Try to Stop You | 07 Apr 2026 | 00:10:08 | |
Save your spot for my upcoming workshop HERE! How to Find Your Outside Voice is a miniseries leading up to my free workshop, Say What You Need to Say. This series is driven by my deep belief that when women learn how to speak up in ways that feel safe and doable, it can change everything. In this episode, we’re unpacking the two biggest things that will try and stop you from saying what you need to say. Register for Say What You Need to Say, a free one-hour workshop for women who are ready to finally ask for what they want and need in their relationships.
Find Sara here: | |||
| Find Your Outside Voice Part 4 - Say It Messy | 06 Apr 2026 | 00:10:20 | |
Save your spot for my upcoming workshop HERE! How to Find Your Outside Voice is a miniseries leading up to my free workshop, Say What You Need to Say. This series is driven by my deep belief that when women learn how to speak up in ways that feel safe and doable, it can change everything. In this episode, we’re talking about the thing that really keeps people stuck: waiting to say it perfectly. Register for Say What You Need to Say, a free one-hour workshop for women who are ready to finally ask for what they want and need in their relationships.
Find Sara here: | |||
| Find Your Outside Voice Part 3 - It’s Just a Yes or a No | 03 Apr 2026 | 00:10:51 | |
Save your spot for my upcoming workshop HERE! How to Find Your Outside Voice is a miniseries leading up to my free workshop, Say What You Need to Say. This series is driven by my deep belief that when women learn how to speak up in ways that feel safe and doable, it can change everything. In this episode, we’re exploring how every conversation you’ve been dreading is really just a "yes" or a "no" that you haven’t said yet. Register for Say What You Need to Say, a free one-hour workshop for women who are ready to finally ask for what they want and need in their relationships.
Find Sara here: | |||
| Find Your Outside Voice Part 2 - The Hidden Tax | 02 Apr 2026 | 00:12:29 | |
Save your spot for my upcoming workshop HERE! How to Find Your Outside Voice is a miniseries leading up to my free workshop, Say What You Need to Say. This series is driven by my deep belief that when women learn how to speak up in ways that feel safe and doable, it can change everything. In this episode, we’re talking about the hidden tax of not speaking up and how it drains your time, energy, and connection until you start asking yourself what you actually want. Register for Say What You Need to Say, a free one-hour workshop for women who are ready to finally ask for what they want and need in their relationships.
Find Sara here: | |||
| Find Your Outside Voice Part 1 - You Make Sense | 01 Apr 2026 | 00:15:22 | |
Save your spot for my upcoming workshop HERE! How to Find Your Outside Voice is a miniseries leading up to my free workshop, Say What You Need to Say. This series is driven by my deep belief that when women learn how to speak up in ways that feel safe and doable, it can change everything. In this episode, we start with a powerful truth: if you’re struggling to speak up, you make sense. Register for Say What You Need to Say, a free one-hour workshop for women who are ready to finally ask for what they want and need in their relationships.
Find Sara here: | |||
| Episode 157 - Leaving Polygamy, Finding my Voice with Shirlee Draper | 25 Mar 2026 | 01:18:58 | |
Today, I get to talk with someone whose story has stayed with me for years. Shirlee Draper grew up in a polygamist community that became more controlling and unsafe as time went on. With no money, no work history, and no support outside her community, she made the difficult decision to leave everything behind and start over. We discuss the tension between staying and knowing something isn’t right, and what it takes to start trusting yourself again. This conversation is not just about Shirlee’s journey—it’s about what can happen when women find their voice and their autonomy. Here’s what we cover:
Shirlee Draper was born and raised in “Short Creek.” After leaving the community, she obtained a Bachelor of Social Work and a Master of Public Administration. She has served in many capacities in the rebirth of her hometown, including facilitating the election of the first female mayor in 2017; opening a community health clinic in 2019; serving on the board of the UEP Trust and Short Creek Community Center; and part of the Collective Impact project aimed at community revitalization.She is employed as Deputy Director for Cherish Families, a social service nonprofit which helps people from polygamous backgrounds move from crisis to thriving. She specializes in bridging the population with mainstream society and provides education for outside service providers and government agencies She also serves on several state and civic committees. Shirlee lives in St. George with her special needs children and loves to play the piano, read and travel. Find Shirlee here: linkedin.com/in/shirlee-draper Support Cherish Families' work Find Sara here: pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333 What happens inside the free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community? Our goal is to provide help and guidance on your journey to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from your life. We heal best in a safe community where we can grow and learn together and celebrate and encourage each other. This group is for posting questions about or experiences with material learned in The Ex-Good Girl podcast, Sara Fisk Coaching social media posts or the free webinars and trainings provided by Sara Fisk Coaching. See you inside! | |||
| Episode 156 - Healing in a Community of Women Re-Release | 18 Mar 2026 | 00:30:16 | |
I’m bringing back an episode that explores something I care about deeply: the healing that happens when women gather in community. We live in a culture that conditions women to believe something is wrong with them—that we’re too emotional, our thoughts don't make sense, and we can’t trust ourselves. But when women share their real experiences with each other, that belief begins to unravel. In this re-release, I discuss the communities I’ve been part of that have shaped my life and why support from other women can drive powerful change. Here’s what I cover:
Find Sara here: pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations www.instagram.com/sarafiskcoach/ www.facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching/ www.youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333 What happens inside the free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community? Our goal is to provide help and guidance on your journey to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from your life. We heal best in a safe community where we can grow and learn together and celebrate and encourage each other. This group is for posting questions about or experiences with material learned in The Ex-Good Girl podcast, Sara Fisk Coaching social media posts or the free webinars and trainings provided by Sara Fisk Coaching. See you inside! | |||
| Episode 155 - The Powerful Combination of Choice and Voice Re-Release | 11 Mar 2026 | 00:31:48 | |
To what degree do you feel capable of saying what you want to say in your life and in your relationships? In this episode, I’m revisiting one of my favorite episodes about the powerful combination of choice and voice. A revolution happens when women say what they want to say. When you can express how you really feel, it becomes easier to stand up for yourself and set expectations. Your relationships shift, your choices become clearer, and you stop performing and start actually living. Here’s what I cover:
Find Sara here: pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations www.instagram.com/sarafiskcoach/ www.facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching/ www.youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333 What happens inside the free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community? Our goal is to provide help and guidance on your journey to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from your life. We heal best in a safe community where we can grow and learn together and celebrate and encourage each other. This group is for posting questions about or experiences with material learned in The Ex-Good Girl podcast, Sara Fisk Coaching social media posts or the free webinars and trainings provided by Sara Fisk Coaching. See you inside! | |||
| Episode 154 - What Needs To Be Said with Alex Reegan Re-Release | 04 Mar 2026 | 01:14:43 | |
This episode is a reminder of how prejudice can soften when we look beyond policies to see real people, and it feels especially important to bring it back now. In this re-release of a past conversation, I’m joined by my dear friend Alex Regan, a trans man, interfaith minister, speaker, author, and transformative spiritual coach. Meeting Alex changed my life because it replaced my experience of an abstract label with a real human being with a nervous system, a story, hopes, and fears just like me. Once you see someone clearly like that, it becomes much harder to ignore how they are being treated. My hope is that hearing Alex’s story will create that same kind of shift for you. Here’s what I cover:
Find Alex here: www.instagram.com/revreegs Find Sara here: pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations www.instagram.com/sarafiskcoach/ www.facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching/ www.youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333 What happens inside the free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community? Our goal is to provide help and guidance on your journey to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from your life. We heal best in a safe community where we can grow and learn together and celebrate and encourage each other. This group is for posting questions about or experiences with material learned in The Ex-Good Girl podcast, Sara Fisk Coaching social media posts or the free webinars and trainings provided by Sara Fisk Coaching. See you inside! | |||
| Episode 153 - Using the Past and the Future to Solve Problems in the Present | 25 Feb 2026 | 00:25:51 | |
It’s so easy to feel stuck and overwhelmed when we haven’t figured something out yet. But what if you looked for the evidence in your life that you can solve the problem? In this episode, I share how I’m borrowing belief from my past self to help me make a decision I’m wrestling with now. Instead of demanding certainty or shaming myself for not knowing the answer, I’m using real proof from my own history to help me relax while I take the time to figure it out. Here’s what I cover:
Find Sara here: pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations www.instagram.com/sarafiskcoach/ www.facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching/ www.youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333 What happens inside the free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community? Our goal is to provide help and guidance on your journey to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from your life. We heal best in a safe community where we can grow and learn together and celebrate and encourage each other. This group is for posting questions about or experiences with material learned in The Ex-Good Girl podcast, Sara Fisk Coaching social media posts or the free webinars and trainings provided by Sara Fisk Coaching. See you inside! | |||
| Episode 152 - How to Stay Informed Without Losing Yourself | 18 Feb 2026 | 00:26:50 | |
The overwhelming amount of information, emotion, and terror we are experiencing in the world right now can make it hard to know what to do with ourselves. Last week’s episode came from my own experience of feeling like I was going to break and realizing my nervous system was completely overloaded. In this episode, I build on that and talk about what to do—because it’s not enough to say you will “just get off social media” or “stop doom scrolling.” If it were that simple, I would have stopped, and maybe you would have too. We’ll look at why this is so hard to put down and what it takes to step back in a way that allows you to stay informed without losing yourself in the crush of information. Here’s what I cover:
Find Sara here: pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations www.instagram.com/sarafiskcoach/ www.facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching/ www.youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333 What happens inside the free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community? Our goal is to provide help and guidance on your journey to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from your life. We heal best in a safe community where we can grow and learn together and celebrate and encourage each other. This group is for posting questions about or experiences with material learned in The Ex-Good Girl podcast, Sara Fisk Coaching social media posts or the free webinars and trainings provided by Sara Fisk Coaching. See you inside! | |||
| Episode 151 - Your Body Was Never Meant to Hold This | 11 Feb 2026 | 00:28:11 | |
Over the last few weeks, the constant exposure to human suffering, injustice, and horrifying information has felt like an avalanche. If you’ve been taking this in through social media and the news like I have, you might notice yourself swinging between obsessing and shutting down, or believing that if you look away or take a break, it means you don’t care. In this episode, I share what helped me understand what was actually happening in my nervous system and why feeling overwhelmed doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means your body was never meant to hold all of this. Here’s what I cover:
Find Sara here: https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations https://www.instagram.com/sarafiskcoach/ https://www.facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching/ https://www.tiktok.com/@sarafiskcoach https://www.youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333 What happens inside the free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community? Our goal is to provide help and guidance on your journey to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from your life. We heal best in a safe community where we can grow and learn together and celebrate and encourage each other. This group is for posting questions about or experiences with material learned in The Ex-Good Girl podcast, Sara Fisk Coaching social media posts or the free webinars and trainings provided by Sara Fisk Coaching. See you inside! | |||
| Episode 150 - Erotic Wholeness with Darshana Avila | 04 Feb 2026 | 00:55:34 | |
In this episode, I sit down with erotic wholeness guide Darshana Avila to talk about embodiment, authenticity, and coming home to the body. Darshana was featured on Netflix’s Sex, Love & Goop, which was one of my early introductions to a broader idea of eroticism as I began to unravel my good girl conditioning. We explore what happens when women don’t know what they want or don’t trust their bodies—a disconnection shaped by the systems we were raised in, not personal failure. Darshana offers a different path forward, rooted in compassion, nervous-system safety, and learning to listen to the body. Here’s what we cover:
Darshana Avila is a trauma-informed somatic educator, practitioner and international speaker who helps people reconnect with the most essential aspects of themselves — their truth, their desires, and their capacity for profound pleasure and power. Her work has been featured on Netflix’s Sex, Love & Goop, The Guardian, The New Yorker, and numerous leading podcasts. Find Darshana here: linkedin.com/in/darshana-avila https://darshanaavila.com/podcast/ Find Sara here: https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations https://www.instagram.com/sarafiskcoach/ https://www.facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching/ https://www.tiktok.com/@sarafiskcoach https://www.youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333 What happens inside the free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community? Our goal is to provide help and guidance on your journey to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from your life. We heal best in a safe community where we can grow and learn together and celebrate and encourage each other. This group is for posting questions about or experiences with material learned in The Ex-Good Girl podcast, Sara Fisk Coaching social media posts or the free webinars and trainings provided by Sara Fisk Coaching. See you inside! | |||
| Episode 149 - We Need To Talk About Codependency | 28 Jan 2026 | 00:23:09 | |
For a long time, codependency has been framed as weakness or passivity—that’s why so many strong, capable, high-functioning women hear that word and immediately think, that is absolutely not me. In this episode, I explore where the concept of codependency actually came from and why that original definition often doesn’t fit. When we widen the lens, codependency starts to look a lot more like over-functioning and organizing your time, energy, and identity around other people. When we can understand it in that way, it opens up a much more honest and hopeful path forward. Here’s what I cover:
Find Sara here: https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations https://www.instagram.com/sarafiskcoach/ https://www.facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching/ https://www.tiktok.com/@sarafiskcoach https://www.youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333 What happens inside the free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community? Our goal is to provide help and guidance on your journey to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from your life. We heal best in a safe community where we can grow and learn together and celebrate and encourage each other. This group is for posting questions about or experiences with material learned in The Ex-Good Girl podcast, Sara Fisk Coaching social media posts or the free webinars and trainings provided by Sara Fisk Coaching. See you inside! | |||
| Episode 148 - You Can Get Good at Conflict | 21 Jan 2026 | 00:23:55 | |
Improving your conflict skills isn’t about finding the perfect words—it’s about understanding why conflict feels so hard in the first place. When your body believes that speaking up could cost you connection, of course it freezes, softens, or stays quiet. In this episode, I talk about how our nervous systems learned early on that conflict wasn’t safe, and why that doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. When we slow down and get curious about our conflict response rather than judging it, that’s when real change becomes possible, and you can actually get good at conflict. Here’s what I cover:
Register for my upcoming workshop HERE! Find Sara here: https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations https://www.instagram.com/sarafiskcoach/ https://www.facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching/ https://www.tiktok.com/@sarafiskcoach https://www.youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333 What happens inside the free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community? Our goal is to provide help and guidance on your journey to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from your life. We heal best in a safe community where we can grow and learn together and celebrate and encourage each other. This group is for posting questions about or experiences with material learned in The Ex-Good Girl podcast, Sara Fisk Coaching social media posts or the free webinars and trainings provided by Sara Fisk Coaching. See you inside! | |||
| Episode 147 - How I Make Sense of the Absolute Bullshit Going on Right Now | 14 Jan 2026 | 00:18:55 | |
We are living through an incredibly intense political, social, and cultural moment, and it’s easy to fall into the despair and overwhelm of it all. In this episode, I’m sharing a framework that helps me make sense of what's happening and hold onto hope. Spiral dynamics explains how humans organize around shared value systems, and what happens when those systems collide and begin to collapse. While these transitions are often destabilizing and painful, what we’re living through is not random–and understanding the pattern offers the reminder that how we choose to show up, care for ourselves, and embody the values we want to see matters. Here’s what I cover:
Find Sara here: https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations https://www.instagram.com/sarafiskcoach/ https://www.facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching/ https://www.tiktok.com/@sarafiskcoach https://www.youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333 What happens inside the free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community? Our goal is to provide help and guidance on your journey to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from your life. We heal best in a safe community where we can grow and learn together and celebrate and encourage each other. This group is for posting questions about or experiences with material learned in The Ex-Good Girl podcast, Sara Fisk Coaching social media posts or the free webinars and trainings provided by Sara Fisk Coaching. See you inside! | |||
| Episode 146 - Five Questions I’m Asking This Year | 07 Jan 2026 | 00:18:33 | |
Is your social media feed overflowing with New Year’s resolutions and tips to optimize your life? This mindset can feel overwhelming, so instead of pushing for the “perfect” 2026, I’m offering something else in this episode: five questions I return to again and again to recalibrate my relationship with myself. These questions aren’t about productivity or self-improvement. They’re an invitation to unlearn good girl conditioning, step out of self-abandonment, and choose a way of living that actually feels like yours. Here’s what I cover:
Find Sara here: https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations https://www.instagram.com/sarafiskcoach/ https://www.facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching/ https://www.tiktok.com/@sarafiskcoach https://www.youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333 What happens inside the free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community? Our goal is to provide help and guidance on your journey to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from your life. We heal best in a safe community where we can grow and learn together and celebrate and encourage each other. This group is for posting questions about or experiences with material learned in The Ex-Good Girl podcast, Sara Fisk Coaching social media posts or the free webinars and trainings provided by Sara Fisk Coaching. See you inside! | |||
| Episode 145 - Best Of: How To Have Your Own Back | 31 Dec 2025 | 00:31:37 | |
Learning to have my own back is the most powerful thing I’ve ever done for myself, which is why I’m bringing back this essential episode as we head into the new year. Many women internalize their mistakes, leading to a spiral of shameful thoughts that can be very draining. But how can we shut that down? If we bully ourselves, then we're not safe with ourselves, and we're not safe anywhere. You deserve that essential safety. In this episode, I'll help you identify the bullying voice in your head and shut it down. Here’s what I cover:
Find Sara here: https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations https://www.instagram.com/sarafiskcoach/ https://www.facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching/ https://www.tiktok.com/@sarafiskcoach https://www.youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333 What happens inside the free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community? Our goal is to provide help and guidance on your journey to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from your life. We heal best in a safe community where we can grow and learn together and celebrate and encourage each other. This group is for posting questions about or experiences with material learned in The Ex-Good Girl podcast, Sara Fisk Coaching social media posts or the free webinars and trainings provided by Sara Fisk Coaching. See you inside! | |||