Explore every episode of the podcast The Erotic Realm

What happens when your BDSM fantasies of dominance, submission and absolute control meet the realities of human relationships?

In this episode I'm joined by Anton Fulmen, author of The Heart of Dominance and BDSM educator behind Consensual Dominance, to explore the psychology of BDSM fantasies, dominance and submission, erotic power exchange and the difference between fantasy and reality.

We explore:

• BDSM fantasy vs reality: Why our sexual fantasies don't always reflect what we want to experience.
• The heart of dominance: What it means to hold power, and the responsibilities that come with consensual control.
• Dominance and submission: How imagined power dynamics differ from real BDSM relationships.
• The vulnerability of Dominants: Why being in control can involve emotional exposure, trust and uncertainty.
• Negotiating erotic desires: What happens when partners have different fantasies, expectations or needs.
• Healthy power exchange: Understanding the boundaries between devotion, dependence and potentially harmful dynamics.

Research article: Sexual Fantasy Research: A Contemporary Review.

This episode is proudly sponsored by Stigma Health.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What if exploring BDSM as a queer, nonbinary person could transform your understanding of power, desire and erotic identity?

In this episode I'm joined by Dare Campbell, a queer, nonbinary sexuality educator and sub-leaning switch, to explore the psychology of BDSM power exchange, dominance and submission, queer identity and erotic self-discovery.

We explore:

• The psychology of submission: Why surrendering power can be an expression of agency, trust and desire.
• Ongoing BDSM power exchange: How dominance and submission operate beyond individual scenes and within established relationships.
• Consent and accountability: Navigating changing boundaries, communication and responsibility within power dynamics.
• Queer and nonbinary erotic identity: How gender exploration can transform our understanding of sexuality and kink.
• The relationship between BDSM and sex: Why kink can represent intimacy, identity, connection or spirituality beyond conventional sexual experiences.
• Erotic self-discovery: Giving ourselves permission to explore desires without needing fixed definitions of who we are.

Research article: A Queer Boundary: How Sex and BDSM Interact for People Who Identify as Kinky.

This episode is proudly sponsored by Hedon House - A BDSM and kink dungeon/playspace, accommodation, bath house, private dance floor, resting place, and so much more. Book your stay at hedonhouse.com with code THEREALM for 15% off.

• Follow Hedon House on Instagram. 
• Check out my full conversation with the creator of Hedon House- Gala Vanting on Episode 30: Building Sanctuaries for BDSM & Erotic Exploration.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

• Emma

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What happens when discovering a kink doesn't just transform your sexuality, but unlocks creativity, vulnerability and parts of yourself you never knew existed?

In this episode I'm joined by Devilishbrew, a Pleasure Dom, Wax Top and creator of Devils Wax, to explore the psychology of wax play, BDSM, erotic creativity and male vulnerability.

We explore:

• The psychology of wax play: What makes temperature, anticipation and sensation so erotically compelling.
• Pleasure Domination and BDSM: How dominance, trust and sensory exploration intersect.
• Kink as a creative outlet: How wax play evolved into artistic expression through Devils Wax.
• Mindfulness and erotic presence: Why intense sensory experiences can quieten the mind and deepen connection.
• Male vulnerability and masculinity: How exploring kink can challenge expectations around emotional openness.
• Erotic identity and self-discovery: The relationship between childhood experiences, imposter syndrome, creativity and personal growth.

This episode is proudly sponsored by Stigma Health.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What happens when the sexuality you've been taught to suppress becomes the very thing you need to explore to understand yourself?

In this episode I'm joined by Tash Doherty, author, erotic writer and creator of The Intimacy Journal, to explore the psychology of sexual shame, erotic self-discovery and the transformative power of writing about desire.

We explore:

• The psychology of sexual shame: where it comes from and how it shapes our erotic identities.
• Sexual suppression and self-discovery: distinguishing authentic desire from social expectations.
• Erotic writing as self-exploration: how personal storytelling can reveal hidden aspects of our sexuality.
• Erotic poetry and intimacy: the relationship between creativity, emotional expression and desire.
• Sexual communication and satisfaction: what research reveals about expressing our needs and desires.
• Reclaiming sexual confidence: moving from private self-understanding towards expressing what we want with others.

Research article: Dimensions of Couples’ Sexual Communication, Relationship Satisfaction, and Sexual Satisfaction: A Meta-Analysis

This episode is proudly sponsored by Hedon House - A BDSM and kink dungeon/playspace, accommodation, bath house, private dance floor, resting place, and so much more. Book your stay at hedonhouse.com with code THEREALM for 15% off.

• Follow Hedon House on Instagram. 
• Check out my full conversation with the creator of Hedon House- Gala Vanting on Episode 30: Building Sanctuaries for BDSM & Erotic Exploration.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Can sexual energy be used in magick? And could BDSM, ritual and altered states of consciousness be connected in ways we don't yet fully understand?

In this episode I'm joined by Sanhre to explore the fascinating intersection of sex magick, BDSM, occultism, chaos magick and erotic spirituality.

We explore:

• What occultism, chaos magick and sex magick actually mean.
• The relationship between BDSM, erotic energy and spiritual practices.
• Aleister Crowley and the idea of sexuality as a sacred force.
• Subspace, topspace, deep rope states and altered consciousness.
• The neuroscience of BDSM and its possible parallels with ritual experiences.
• Sigil magick, intention, belief and the ethics of magical practice.

Research article: Consensual BDSM Facilitates Role-Specific Altered States of Consciousness.

This episode is proudly sponsored by Stigma Health.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What happens when the very communities built around consent, freedom and sexual exploration develop their own forms of toxicity, manipulation and abuse?

In this episode I'm joined by Ayzad, a pioneering Italian BDSM educator, author and kink coach with more than thirty years of experience, to explore the dark side of BDSM, toxic kink culture, power dynamics and the psychology of consent.

We explore:

• The dark side of BDSM and toxic kink culture.
• How to distinguish consensual BDSM from psychological abuse.
• Power dynamics, manipulation and the limits of consent.
• Why good intentions don't always prevent harmful behaviour.
• What has changed as BDSM has become more mainstream.
• The psychology behind unhealthy kink relationships and community dysfunction.

Research article: Sexual Violence and Nonconsensual Experiences Among Alt-Sex Communities’ Members.

This episode is proudly sponsored by Hedon House - A BDSM and kink dungeon/playspace, accommodation, bath house, private dance floor, resting place, and so much more. Book your stay at hedonhouse.com with code THEREALM for 15% off.

• Follow Hedon House on Instagram. 
• Check out my full conversation with the creator of Hedon House- Gala Vanting on Episode 30: Building Sanctuaries for BDSM & Erotic Exploration.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Why does the human brain sometimes transform pain into sexual pleasure? And what can BDSM teach us about neuroscience, desire and consciousness?

In this episode I'm joined by Hermes Solenzol, a pain neuroscientist, writer and lifelong kinkster, to explore the fascinating relationship between BDSM, pain, pleasure, sadism and the kinky brain.

We explore:

• The neuroscience of BDSM and why pain can become erotic pleasure.
• How the brain processes pain, anticipation, arousal and desire.
• BDSM pain thresholds and how context can change pain perception.
• Subspace, altered states of consciousness and the neuroscience of kink.
• The psychology of consensual sadism and compassionate dominance.
• Becoming a BDSM switch and exploring both sides of power exchange.
• BDSM, spirituality, Buddhism and the subjective experience of pain.
• Free will, monogamy, polyamory and the psychology of human relationships.
• Sexuality and ageing: remaining erotic at 69 and beyond.
• Erotic fantasy, writing and discovering ourselves through imagination.

Further reading: Beyond Pain: A Study on the Variance of Pain Thresholds Within BDSM Interactions in Dominants and Submissives.

Supporters of The Erotic Realm:

• Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.
• Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.
• ProDx Health at home STI testing here.

Innovative Sex Tech:

• Lioness here.
• Kiiroo here.
• Luxus here.
• Lovense here.

Science-backed libido support:

• Flow supplement here.
• Desire supplement here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Why does the human brain sometimes transform pain into sexual pleasure? And what can BDSM teach us about neuroscience, desire and consciousness?

In this episode I'm joined by Hermes Solenzol, a pain neuroscientist, writer and lifelong kinkster, to explore the fascinating relationship between BDSM, pain, pleasure, sadism and the kinky brain.

We explore:

• The neuroscience of BDSM and why pain can become erotic pleasure.
• How the brain processes pain, anticipation, arousal and desire.
• BDSM pain thresholds and how context can change pain perception.
• Subspace, altered states of consciousness and the neuroscience of kink.
• The psychology of consensual sadism and compassionate dominance.
• Becoming a BDSM switch and exploring both sides of power exchange.
• BDSM, spirituality, Buddhism and the subjective experience of pain.
• Free will, monogamy, polyamory and the psychology of human relationships.
• Sexuality and ageing: remaining erotic at 69 and beyond.
• Erotic fantasy, writing and discovering ourselves through imagination.

Further reading: Beyond Pain: A Study on the Variance of Pain Thresholds Within BDSM Interactions in Dominants and Submissives.

Supporters of The Erotic Realm:

• Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.
• Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.
• ProDx Health at home STI testing here.

Innovative Sex Tech:

• Lioness here.
• Kiiroo here.
• Luxus here.
• Lovense here.

Science-backed libido support:

• Flow supplement here.
• Desire supplement here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What happens when you rediscover sexual desire in your seventies, after decades without intimacy?

In this episode I chat with Andrea Feinberg, also known as Brookiana, who returns to explore sex after 70, dating in later life, sexual desire, ageing, and the extraordinary experience of erotic reawakening.

When Andrea first joined me in Episode 102, she shared her journey of returning to dating, intimacy and sexual exploration in her seventies. Now she's back with her newly published book, Sex, Sensuality and the Senior Woman, to explore what that journey taught her about desire, desirability, confidence and herself.

We explore:

• Sex after 70 and rediscovering sexual desire in later life.
• Why women are taught that their desirability has an expiry date.
• Returning to dating after decades without intimacy.
• The psychology of being desired and feeling desirable.
• Sexual confidence, sensuality and erotic identity as we age.
• Writing Sex, Sensuality and the Senior Woman and the vulnerability of sharing intimate experiences.

Research Article: "The Shop Is Not Closed": Sex and Sexuality Among Older Adult Daters

Supporters of The Erotic Realm:

• Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.
• Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.
• ProDx Health at home STI testing here.

Innovative Sex Tech:

• Lioness here.
• Kiiroo here.
• Luxus here.
• Lovense here.

Science-backed libido support:

• Flow supplement here.
• Desire supplement here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What happens when discovering your dominant side completely changes the way you understand your submissive one?

In this episode of I'm joined by Sassy—Bethany Burgoyne—to explore switch psychology, dominance, submission, kink confidence and the freedom to let our erotic identities change.

We explore:

• The psychology of being a BDSM switch.
• Moving from submissive to dominant without losing submission.
• How dominance transformed Sassy's kink confidence.
• Sadism, sensual dominance and using power as an expression of care.
• Body confidence, gender expression and being a non-binary woman in kink.
• Shame, permission and communicating kink to new or vanilla partners.
• Queer kink communities, safeguarding and what they reveal about human desire.
• Why BDSM can be joyful, playful and full of laughter.

Research article: BDSM Role Fluidity: A Mixed-Methods Approach to Investigating Switches Within Dominant/Submissive Binaries.

Supporters of The Erotic Realm:

• Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.
• Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.
• ProDx Health at home STI testing here.

Innovative Sex Tech:

• Lioness here.
• Kiiroo here.
• Luxus here.
• Lovense here.

Science-backed libido support:

• Flow supplement here.
• Desire supplement here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What does a sexual-health doctor want you to know about sex?

In this episode I'm joined by Dr Leigh Barlow to explore the things your doctor really wants you to understand about sex, STIs, PrEP and sexual health.

We explore:

• Who should get STI tests, how often, and what testing involves.
• The biggest STI myths people still believe.
• What PrEP is and how HIV prevention is changing the psychology of safer sex.
• What LGBTQIA+ people still encounter in healthcare — and what genuinely affirming care looks like.
• Why bringing pleasure into sexual-health conversations may actually help us look after ourselves better.

Research article: What is the added value of incorporating pleasure in sexual health interventions? A systematic review and meta-analysis.

This episode is proudly sponsored by Stigma Health.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Does desire really die in long-term relationships — or are we misunderstanding what happens to it?

In this episode I'm joined by sex therapist and clinical social worker Caroline Hood to explore female desire, sex and intimacy in long-term relationships.

We explore:

• Why sexual desire can change in long-term relationships without disappearing.
• Whether “low desire” can actually be a logical response to stress, caregiving, resentment and exhaustion.
• The biggest myths we've inherited about female desire and spontaneous desire.
• What responsive desire gets right — and where we've become too rigid with the concept.
• How couples can cultivate eroticism, intimacy and desire when life never seems to calm down.

Research article: Maintaining Sexual Desire in Long-Term Relationships: A Systematic Review and Conceptual Model

This episode is proudly sponsored by Magic Motion. Grab 10% off their toys here using code EMMA10.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What happens to your identity as a slave when the Master you've belonged to for 21 years dies?

In this episode I'm joined by Kim — MJ's Girl, who shares the story of her 21-year Master/slave relationship with Master Joe, and what happened to love, submission and identity after his death.

We explore:

• What 21 years in a Master/slave relationship taught Kim about love and submission.
• The difference between being a slave and a submissive.
• Why this fiercely independent woman chose to give one particular man her submission.
• The psychology of collaring, ownership and erotic identity.
• What happens to a slave identity after the death of a Master.
• How continuing bonds may help us understand carrying a BDSM relationship forward through grief.

Research article: Internalized versus externalized continuing bonds: Relations to grief, trauma, attachment, openness to experience, and posttraumatic growth.

This episode is proudly sponsored by Stigma Health.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What happens when the kink you're having is no longer the kink you actually want?

In this episode I'm joined by RednBlack to explore the psychology of ownership, Total Power Exchange, sadism and erotic identity.

After years within kink, Red experienced a moment that changed the direction of her erotic life: driving home from a fetish event and realising that pickup play was leaving her feeling empty. That realisation forced a different question — what did she actually desire?

We explore:

• The psychology of ownership and Total Power Exchange (TPE).
• Why kinky experiences can still leave us feeling erotically unfulfilled.
• Red's journey through dominance, sadism and deeper power exchange.
• Leather culture, identity and the history and meaning carried through coloured hankies.
• The tension between being an academic and openly kinky.
• Why different people can be drawn to BDSM for very different psychological reasons.

Research article: The Psychology of Kink: A Cross-Sectional Survey Study Investigating the Roles of Sensation Seeking and Coping Style in BDSM-Related Interests.

This episode is proudly sponsored by Stigma Health.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Can a man learn to be Dominant — or is dominance something you either have or you don't?

In this episode I'm joined by Justin, founder of The Dominance Academy, to explore the psychology of male dominance, masculinity and consensual power exchange.

We explore:

• Whether male dominance can be learned.
• The difference between embodying dominance and performing it.
• Justin's four pillars of a Dominant man: self-containment, earned authority, erotic mastery and relational leadership.
• Why authority must be earned before someone can responsibly hold another person's submission.
• The difference between consensual dominance and men who simply want control over women.
• How BDSM and Dominant/submissive relationships can become pathways for personal transformation.

Research article: To Know Thyself: A Qualitative Exploration of Motivating Factors for BDSM and Kink Participants Who Hold Dominant Identities.

Supporters of The Erotic Realm:

• Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.
• Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.
• ProDx Health at home STI testing here.

Innovative Sex Tech:

• Lioness here.
• Kiiroo here.
• Luxus here.
• Lovense here.

Science-backed libido support:

• Flow supplement here.
• Desire supplement here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What happens when you love each other — but you don't want the same things sexually?

In this episode I'm joined by Amanda Dames, The Kink Consultant, to explore the psychology of mismatched desire, sexual compatibility and kink in relationships.

We explore:

• What mismatched sexual desire looks like inside relationships.
• Why telling our partner what we really want can feel extraordinarily vulnerable.
• Whether an apparent “low desire” partner might simply not be having the kind of sex that activates their desire.
• What BDSM and kink can teach conventional couples about negotiating desire, boundaries and consent.
• The surprisingly complicated question: is sex actually a need?

Research article: Strategies for Mitigating Sexual Desire Discrepancy in Relationships

This episode is proudly sponsored by Stigma Health.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What's missing when the standard rules of kink assume everybody's brain works the same way?

In this episode Auntie Vice returns to explore the intersection of BDSM, neurodivergence and mental health — and her new book, Kinky & Complicated.

So much BDSM advice assumes that we can identify exactly what we want, clearly communicate our boundaries and recognise when something changes. But what happens when the way we process sensation, emotion, desire or communication works differently — or changes over time?

We explore:

• How neurodivergence can shape BDSM, kink and desire.
• Why BDSM's explicit rules and negotiations may work particularly well for some neurodivergent people.
• Consent and communication when someone's capacity or mental state changes.
• The impact of medication and menopause on neurodivergence, sexuality and kink.
• Why BDSM can be psychologically beneficial without being therapy.
• The complicated distinction between consensual BDSM pain and self-injury.

Research article: A Preliminary Investigation into Intersections of Sexual Communication in Bondage, Domination, Sadomasochism and Disability.

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• Lovense here.

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• Flow supplement here.
• Desire supplement here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What do your sexual fantasies reveal about you?

In this episode I'm joined by Cat Savard, founder of Good Ember, to explore the psychology and data behind our sexual fantasies.

Link to Survey data here: https://www.goodember.com/pages/surveys

We explore:

• What our sexual fantasies and kinks might reveal about us.
• What Cat's Good Ember data is revealing about people's fantasies.
• The psychology of consensual non-consent (CNC).
• Why people can fantasise about experiences they don't literally want to happen.
• Sexual communication and why sharing fantasies with a partner can feel so vulnerable.
• How couples can become more curious about each other erotically.

Research article: The Role of Sexual Communication in Couples' Sexual Outcomes: A Dyadic Path Analysis.

This episode is proudly sponsored by Stigma Health.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What happens when you stop hiding your kink and decide to fully own who you are?

In this episode Rain DeGrey takes us from coming out of the kink closet and finding herself at Kink.com just three weeks later, through her evolution into sexuality education and her belief that helping people overcome shame and "own their awesome" is what she was put here to do.

We explore:

• Coming out of the kink closet and owning your erotic identity.
• Why strap-ons became one of her specialist areas.
• Rain's experience of being in a cult — and why she left.
• What supporting people through their final moments of life taught her about living.
• Sexual shame and where we learn to judge our desires.
• What two decades of exploring kink have taught Rain about pleasure and authenticity.
• Why accepting our erotic selves can become part of living a more meaningful life.

Supporters of The Erotic Realm:

• Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.
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• ProDx Health at home STI testing here.

Innovative Sex Tech:

• Lioness here.
• Kiiroo here.
• Luxus here.
• Lovense here.

Science-backed libido support:

• Flow supplement here.
• Desire supplement here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What happens when there is a disconnect between what your mind and your body wants?

In this episode I explore with Judith Swack, creator of Healing from the Body Level Up (HBLU), about sexual shame, trauma, desire and what she describes as experiencing sex from the body's point of view.

We explore:

• Sexual shame and its impact on desire.
• The conflict between consciously wanting something and not feeling safe enough to want it.
• What Judith describes as a phobia of sexual desire.
• How religious and cultural messages can become attached to sexuality.
• A live tapping demonstration during the episode.
• How Judith works with unconscious patterns around sex.
• The relationship between the mind, body and erotic desire.

Research article: Sexual Satisfaction, Sexual Attitudes, and Shame in Relation to Religiosity.

Supporters of The Erotic Realm:

• Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.
• Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.
• ProDx Health at home STI testing here.

Innovative Sex Tech:

• Lioness here.
• Kiiroo here.
• Luxus here.
• Lovense here.

Science-backed libido support:

• Flow supplement here.
• Desire supplement here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Why can giving someone your money become an act of erotic surrender?

In this episode I'm joined by Harley to explore the psychology of financial domination — better known as findom — and the complex relationship between money, power, submission and desire.

We explore:

• The psychology of financial domination and findom.
• Why financial domination can feel "primal".
• Service submission and the psychology of giving.
• The difference between lifestyle findom and commercial erotic labour.
• Why financial domination isn't necessarily reducible to sexual arousal.
• Negotiating boundaries within financial power exchange.
• The difference between financial domination and financial exploitation.

Research article: Findommes, Cybermediated Sex Work, and Rinsing.

Supporters of The Erotic Realm:

• Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.
• Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.
• ProDx Health at home STI testing here.

Innovative Sex Tech:

• Lioness here.
• Kiiroo here.
• Luxus here.
• Lovense here.

Science-backed libido support:

• Flow supplement here.
• Desire supplement here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What happens when you don't just want to pretend to be a pony but you want to psychologically become one?

In this episode I'm joined by Desmond, known in the kink community as Rapidash, for our first exploration into the psychology of pony play and human animal roleplay.

We explore:

• What pony play actually is and why people are drawn to it.
• Why pony play isn't primarily sexual for Desmond.
• How latex, masks, bridles and tack facilitate psychological transformation.
• Service, devotion and the relationship between a pony and handler.
• The importance of community in transforming a private fantasy into an embodied identity.
• Whether entering pony space represents escaping yourself — or becoming more fully yourself.

Research article: The Psychology of Puppy Play: A Phenomenological Investigation.

Supporters of The Erotic Realm:

• Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.
• Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.
• ProDx Health at home STI testing here.

Innovative Sex Tech:

• Lioness here.
• Kiiroo here.
• Luxus here.
• Lovense here.

Science-backed libido support:

• Flow supplement here.
• Desire supplement here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What happens when you commit to having an orgasm every single day for an entire year?

In this episode we explore Annette's 365 Days of Orgasms journey — what began as an unusual personal experiment and evolved into a much deeper exploration of pleasure, desire, embodiment and sexuality.

We explore:

• The psychology behind 365 consecutive days of orgasms.
• What women may misunderstand about their own arousal and pleasure.
• The relationship between orgasm, desire and sexual satisfaction.
• How self-pleasure can affect partnered sex.
• The role of embodiment, presence and psychological safety in pleasure.
• Whether everyone could benefit from developing a regular pleasure practice.
• Why the greatest sexual experiences may involve much more than orgasm.

Research article: Building Blocks Toward Optimal Sexuality: Constructing a Conceptual Model.

Supporters of The Erotic Realm:

• Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.
• Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.
• ProDx Health at home STI testing here.

Innovative Sex Tech:

• Lioness here.
• Kiiroo here.
• Luxus here.
• Lovense here.

Science-backed libido support:

• Flow supplement here.
• Desire supplement here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Can jealousy become erotic—and can we have both security and novelty in our relationships?

I'm joined by Ally Iseman from Passport to Pleasure, a certified relationship coach, non-monogamy educator, pleasure advocate and speaker whose work explores how we can create more intentional relationships and more expansive erotic lives.

We explore:

• Erotic jealousy and what happens when jealousy itself becomes part of desire.
• Consensual non-monogamy and how to know whether you're ready to explore it.
• How to talk to a monogamous partner about opening a relationship.
• The tension between security and erotic novelty.
• The mistakes people commonly make when opening relationships.
• Symbiosexuality—the emerging concept of attraction to the energy and dynamic between people in an existing relationship.
• Why designing relationships consciously may require us to question the scripts we've inherited about love.

Research article:  The fewer the merrier?: Assessing stigma surrounding consensually non-monogamous romantic relationships.

Supporters of The Erotic Realm:

• Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.
• Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.
• ProDx Health at home STI testing here.

Innovative Sex Tech:

• Lioness here.
• Kiiroo here.
• Luxus here.
• Lovense here.

Science-backed libido support:

• Flow supplement here.
• Desire supplement here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What if some BDSM experiences aren't simply erotic—but sacred?

In this episode I explore with scholar Melissa M. Wilcox about the fascinating intersection of BDSM, spirituality, religion, ritual and sexuality.

We explore:

• Ritual, surrender and meaning within BDSM.
• The historical relationship between religion, pain and self-flagellation.
• What makes an experience feel sacred.
• Melissa's research process for Devotions.
• Feminist Wicca, LGBTQ+ Christianity and Melissa's academic journey.
• Why human beings create rituals in the first place.

Supporters of The Erotic Realm:

• Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.
• Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.
• ProDx Health at home STI testing here.

Innovative Sex Tech:

• Lioness here.
• Kiiroo here.
• Luxus here.
• Lovense here.

Science-backed libido support:

• Flow supplement here.
• Desire supplement here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What if submission wasn't about weakness...but about finally feeling safe enough to be vulnerable?

In this episode I sit down with The Queensman—a passionate submissive, service sub, tantra practitioner, latex fetishist, and the first Good Boy to appear on the podcast.

We explore:

• What it means to identify as a Good Boy.
• Mommy Domme/little dynamics and unconditional love.
• Why service submission isn't about being a pushover.
• Hidden desires, shame, and self-acceptance.
• How tantra transformed his BDSM journey.
• Latex, caning, and his favourite kinks.
• Advice for anyone afraid to explore their desires.

Research article: Sexual diversity in the United States: Results from a nationally representative probability sample of adult women and men.

Supporters of The Erotic Realm:

• Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.
• Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.
• ProDx Health at home STI testing here.

Innovative Sex Tech:

• Lioness here.
• Kiiroo here.
• Luxus here.
• Lovense here.

Science-backed libido support:

• Flow supplement here.
• Desire supplement here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What if Shibari wasn't simply about rope—but about learning a new way to communicate?

In this episode I chat with internationally recognised Shibari artist Marie Sauvage to explore the psychology of presence, embodiment, ritual, and the artistic language of Japanese rope bondage.

We explore:

• How Shibari became Marie's artistic language.
• Why rope is about communication, not just restraint.
• Presence, embodiment, and interoceptive awareness.
• The role of trust in Japanese rope bondage.
• Why Marie sees performances as rituals rather than demonstrations.
• A feminine perspective on contemporary Shibari.

Research article: Interoceptive Awareness Skills for Emotion Regulation: Theory and Approach of Mindful Awareness in Body-Oriented Therapy (MABT).

Supporters of The Erotic Realm:

• Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.
• Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.
• ProDx Health at home STI testing here.

Innovative Sex Tech:

• Lioness here.
• Kiiroo here.
• Luxus here.
• Lovense here.

Science-backed libido support:

• Flow supplement here.
• Desire supplement here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Can men experience multiple orgasms - and if so, why aren't more people talking about it?

In this episode I speak with men's sexuality coach Jim Benson to explore the psychology of masculine desire, tantra, erotic confidence, and the surprising science behind the multi-orgasmic man.

We explore:

• What it means to become a multi-orgasmic man.
• The difference between orgasm and ejaculation.
• How tantra transforms male sexuality.
• Overcoming sexual shame and performance anxiety.
• Awakening the "sexual animal within".
• Why presence creates better sex.

Research article: Male multiple orgasms: a descriptive study.

Supporters of The Erotic Realm:

• Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.
• Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.
• ProDx Health at home STI testing here.

Innovative Sex Tech:

• Lioness here.
• Kiiroo here.
• Luxus here.
• Lovense here.

Science-backed libido support:

• Flow supplement here.
• Desire supplement here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What happens when healing from trauma changes the way you understand your desires?

In this episode I chat with with Big_Bear_Hug to explore the psychology of trauma, boundaries, erotic identity, and the lifelong process of becoming ourselves.

We explore:

• The relationship between trauma and desire.
• Learning healthy boundaries inside and outside kink.
• Navigating triggers within BDSM spaces.
• Finding a kink-aware therapist.
• Becoming a "Desire Fulfilment Entity".
• Belonging beyond labels.

Research article: Questioning Gender and Sexual Identity in the Context of Self-Concept Clarity, Sense of Coherence and Value System.

Supporters of The Erotic Realm:

• Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.
• Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.
• ProDx Health at home STI testing here.

Innovative Sex Tech:

• Lioness here.
• Kiiroo here.
• Luxus here.
• Lovense here.

Science-backed libido support:

• Flow supplement here.
• Desire supplement here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Why is finding the right help for a sexual concern still so difficult?

In this episode I’m joined by Michael Corner, founder of Orgasmic Wellness, to explore the fragmented systems surrounding sexual health—and what it might take to connect people with better care.

We explore:

• What sexual wellness actually includes.
• Why finding the right sex therapist or practitioner is difficult.
• The barriers preventing people from seeking sexual-health support.
• What makes Orgasmic Wellness different from searching Google.
• The future of integrated sexual health and wellbeing.

Supporters of The Erotic Realm:

• Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.
• Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.
• ProDx Health at home STI testing here.

Innovative Sex Tech:

• Lioness here.
• Kiiroo here.
• Luxus here.
• Lovense here.

Science-backed libido support:

• Flow supplement here.
• Desire supplement here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

How do you build the world's largest BDSM community?

In this episode I chat down with John Baku, the founder of FetLife, to explore the psychology behind one of the most influential platforms in modern kink.

We explore:

• How FetLife was created.
• The psychology of building online communities.
• Why belonging is so important for kinky people.
• The future of FetLife and BDSM education.
• Community safety, moderation, and transparency.
• Advice for people joining FetLife for the first time.

Research article: The Benefits of Facebook “Friends:” Social Capital and College Students’ Use of Online Social Network Sites.

Supporters of The Erotic Realm:

• Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.
• Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.
• ProDx Health at home STI testing here.

Innovative Sex Tech:

• Lioness here.
• Kiiroo here.
• Luxus here.
• Lovense here.

Science-backed libido support:

• Flow supplement here.
• Desire supplement here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What if your erotic struggles aren't really about sex but about safety, connection, and your nervous system?

In this episode I chat with Amber Ella-Vatrix—conscious kink educator, tantra practitioner, neuroscience-informed facilitator, and creator of The Erotic Edge.

We explore:

• Conscious kink.
• Tantra and embodied sexuality.
• Heart-based dominance.
• Erotic transformation.
• The sacred prostitute tradition.
• Trauma, retraumatisation, and safety.

Research article: Polyvagal Theory: A Science of Safety.

Supporters of The Erotic Realm:

• Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.
• Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.
• ProDx Health at home STI testing here.

Innovative Sex Tech:

• Lioness here.
• Kiiroo here.
• Luxus here.
• Lovense here.

Science-backed libido support:

• Flow supplement here.
• Desire supplement here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Can some women experience super orgasms?

In this episode I chat with down with Mae —educator, former professor, and creator whose work has placed her at the centre of thousands of deeply personal conversations about sexuality, fantasy, insecurity, and pleasure.

We explore:

• Super orgasms and Expanded Sexual Response (ESR).
• Male sexuality and vulnerability.
• Consent, communication and respect.
• Kink and human connection.
• Sexual confidence.
• Why pleasure matters more than performance.

Research article: Five Cases with Expanded Sexual Response (ESR).

Supporters of The Erotic Realm:

• Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.
• Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.
• ProDx Health at home STI testing here.

Innovative Sex Tech:

• Lioness here.
• Kiiroo here.
• Luxus here.
• Lovense here.

Science-backed libido support:

• Flow supplement here.
• Desire supplement here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What happens when one of the world's leading sexuality educators spends decades teaching people that power, creativity, and pleasure can coexist?

In this episode I sit down with Midori—international sexuality educator, author, artist, and one of the pioneers who introduced Shibari and conscious BDSM to Western audiences.

We explore:

• The psychology of Shibari.
• Female dominance and leadership.
• ForteFemme.
• Creativity and eroticism.
• Sexuality education.
• The future of BDSM and Shibari.

Research article: Role Congruity Theory of Prejudice Toward Female Leaders.

Supporters of The Erotic Realm:

• Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.
• Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.
• ProDx Health at home STI testing here.

Innovative Sex Tech:

• Lioness here.
• Kiiroo here.
• Luxus here.
• Lovense here.

Science-backed libido support:

• Flow supplement here.
• Desire supplement here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What if the most important skill in exploring your sexuality wasn't confidence—but curiosity?

In this episode I chat with That_Scientist to explore the psychology of curiosity, brat dynamics, bisexuality, kink education, and why asking better questions may be one of the most powerful tools we have for understanding desire.

We explore:

• The psychology of curiosity.
• Discovering bisexuality later in life.
• BDSM and sexual health.
• Asking better questions.
• Self-discovery through kink.
• Erotic psychology.

Research article: Sexual health promotion and sti prevention on the margins: kink, bdsm, and sexually adventurous women.

Supporters of The Erotic Realm:

• Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.
• Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.
• ProDx Health at home STI testing here.

Innovative Sex Tech:

• Lioness here.
• Kiiroo here.
• Luxus here.
• Lovense here.

Science-backed libido support:

• Flow supplement here.
• Desire supplement here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

How do you find good educators of BDSM?

In this episode educator and author AncillaL returns to the podcast to explore one of the most important—and surprisingly overlooked—topics in kink: BDSM education.

We explore:

• How to choose a BDSM educator.
• BDSM mentorship.
• Communities of practice.
• Skill-based vs role-based learning.
• Education versus advertising.
• Building critical thinking in BDSM.

Research article: Kink Community Education: Experiential Learning and Communities of Practice.

Connect with AncillaL:

• https://fetlife.com/AncillaL
• https://www.patreon.com/c/ancillal?vanity=user
• https://www.instagram.com/ancillarykinksupport?igsh=MXYzeHBoZWliZjFmZw==

Supporters of The Erotic Realm:

• Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.
• Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.
• ProDx Health at home STI testing here.

Innovative Sex Tech:

• Lioness here.
• Kiiroo here.
• Luxus here.
• Lovense here.

Science-backed libido support:

• Flow supplement here.
• Desire supplement here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What happens when you're both dominant and submissive—and both feel completely authentic?

In this episode I chat with Matcha to explore the psychology of switching, the emerging FemDaddy archetype, BDSM identity, power exchange, and the freedom that comes from embracing every side of yourself.

We explore:

• BDSM switches and switch identity.
• FemDaddy dynamics.
• Forced feminisation.
• Gender expression in kink.
• Communication and empathy.

Research article: “Switch it up”: A qualitative analysis of BDSM switches,

Supporters of The Erotic Realm:

• Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.
• Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.
• ProDx Health at home STI testing here.

Innovative Sex Tech:

• Lioness here.
• Kiiroo here.
• Luxus here.
• Lovense here.

Science-backed libido support:

• Flow supplement here.
• Desire supplement here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What happens when you finally give yourself permission to desire what you truly want?

In this episode I chat with sex therapist and Shibari practitioner Julieta Chiara to explore the psychology of submission, women's desire, erotic permission, and the transformative power of saying "yes" to yourself.

We explore:

• Women's desire and sexual permission.
• Submission and empowerment.
• Shibari and Japanese rope bondage.
• Why "your first Dom is you".
• Pain, presence, and transformation.

Research article: Are Role and Gender Related to Sexual Function and Satisfaction in Men and Women Practicing BDSM?

Supporters of The Erotic Realm:

• Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.
• Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.
• ProDx Health at home STI testing here.

Innovative Sex Tech:

• Lioness here.
• Kiiroo here.
• Luxus here.
• Lovense here.

Science-backed libido support:

• Flow supplement here.
• Desire supplement here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to support the podcast, or apply to be a guest. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What if sexuality wasn't simply about pleasure—but about becoming more fully alive?

Grab your Splashblanket here - don't forget to use the code eroticrealm at checkout for a 10% discount!

In this episode I sit down with legendary sexuality educator Barbara Carrellas, author of Urban Tantra and The Book of Ecstasy, to explore tantra, BDSM, conscious sexuality, erotic awakening, and the role pleasure plays in human flourishing.

We explore:

• Sexual flourishing and wellbeing.
• Non-genital orgasms.
• Pleasure as a pathway to healing.
• Emotional armour and vulnerability.
• Sexuality during the AIDS crisis.
• The Book of Ecstasy.

Research Artile: A new sexual wellbeing paradigm grounded in capability approach concepts of human flourishing and social justice.

Supporters of The Erotic Realm:

• Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.
• Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.
• ProDx Health at home STI testing here.

Innovative Sex Tech:

• Lioness here.
• Kiiroo here.
• Luxus here.
• Lovense here.

Science-backed libido support:

• Flow supplement here.
• Desire supplement here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to apply to be on the podcast. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What happens when dominance is expressed through care rather than control?

In this episode of The Erotic Realm, I sit down with Mistress Mira — professional Dominatrix and Mommy Domme, to explore the psychology of nurturing dominance, BDSM stigma, erotic self-acceptance, and the surprising power of being fully seen.

We explore:

• Mommy Dommes and nurturing dominance.
• Professional domination vs lifestyle BDSM.
• BDSM stigma and public misconceptions.
• Neurodivergence, autism, ADHD and kink.
• The psychology of erotic self-discovery.

Research article: Perceptions of and stigma toward BDSM practitioners.

Supporters of The Erotic Realm:

• Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.
• Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.
• ProDx Health at home STI testing here.

Innovative Sex Tech:

• Lioness here.
• Kiiroo here.
• Luxus here.
• Lovense here.

Science-backed libido support:

• Flow supplement here.
• Desire supplement here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to apply to be on the podcast. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What happens when curiosity about other people's desires leads you to discover your own?

In this episode I sit down with J to explore a journey that began with curiosity and evolved into a deeper understanding of kink, intimacy, and erotic identity. Together we discuss her experiences in sex work, her fascination with the psychology of desire, and how joining FetLife to better understand other people's kinks ultimately helped her discover parts of herself she hadn't fully recognised.

We explore:

• Kink curiosity and self-discovery.
• Introducing a partner to BDSM.
• Marriage and erotic exploration.
• Sex work and the psychology of desire.
• Ownership dynamics and intimacy.
• Women's pathways into kink.

Research book: Women and Kink.

Supporters of The Erotic Realm:

• Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.
• Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.
• ProDx Health at home STI testing here.

Innovative Sex Tech:

• Lioness here.
• Kiiroo here.
• Luxus here.
• Lovense here.

Science-backed libido support:

• Flow supplement here.
• Desire supplement here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to apply to be on the podcast. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What happens when your earliest education about sexuality comes from growing up around the adult industry?

In this episode I chat with filmmaker and storyteller Laila Ocean to explore her unique experience of being the daughter of a porn performer, and how that shaped her understanding of sexuality, relationships, stigma, freedom, and desire.

Laila is currently creating Unbound, a documentary exploring sexuality, identity, and the human stories behind the adult industry. We discuss what it was like discovering her father's profession, the assumptions people make about pornography, and how growing up around adult entertainment influenced her own erotic development.

Here is the International Documentary Association fundraising page to support Laila's project: https://www.documentary.org/project/unbound-crowned-pleasure or connect with Laila on her Instagram @laila.ocean

We explore:

• Growing up as the child of a porn performer.
• Sexuality, stigma, and identity formation.
• The making of the documentary Unbound.
• Media narratives around sex work and porn.
• Sexual freedom and cultural expectations.
• Parenting, sexuality, and honest conversations.

Research Article: Adolescents and Pornography: A Review of 20 Years of Research.

Supporters of The Erotic Realm:

• Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.
• Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.
• ProDx Health at home STI testing here.

Innovative Sex Tech:

• Lioness here.
• Kiiroo here.
• Luxus here.
• Lovense here.

Science-backed libido support:

• Flow supplement here.
• Desire supplement here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to apply to be on the podcast. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What happens when BDSM isn't really about sex?

In this episode I chat with Ms Hyde — an asexual disciplinarian, BDSM educator, life coach, author, and craftsperson — to explore the psychology of power, discipline, communication, and consent.

We explore:

• Asexuality and BDSM.
• The psychology of discipline.
• Therapeutic spanking and meaning-making.
• Beyond Vanilla and BDSM education.
• Repair, accountability, and relationship growth.
• Why pleasure and power are not opposites.

Research Article: Making Sense of S&M: A Discourse Analytic Account.

Supporters of The Erotic Realm:

• Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.
• Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.
• ProDx Health at home STI testing here.

Innovative Sex Tech:

• Lioness here.
• Kiiroo here.
• Luxus here.
• Lovense here.

Science-backed libido support:

• Flow supplement here.
• Desire supplement here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to apply to be on the podcast. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What if the people with the richest erotic lives are often the ones you'd least expect?

In this episode I sit down with Sarah—a self-described nerdy submissive to explore the intersection of kink, neurodivergence, fantasy, imagination, and hidden desire.

We explore:

• The psychology of submission.
• Neurodivergence and kink.
• Dungeons & Dragons and erotic imagination.
• Hidden desires and secret erotic worlds.
• Non-extreme BDSM and everyday kink.
• Fantasy, belonging, and finding your tribe.

Research article: The Prevalence of BDSM in Finland and the Association between BDSM Interest and Personality Traits.

Supporters of The Erotic Realm:

• Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.
• Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.
• ProDx Health at home STI testing here.

Innovative Sex Tech:

• Lioness here.
• Kiiroo here.
• Luxus here.
• Lovense here.

Science-backed libido support:

• Flow supplement here.
• Desire supplement here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to apply to be on the podcast. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Why do some people describe rope as a pathway into trust, presence, and altered states of consciousness?

In this episode I sit down with Mark DeViate — Dominant, rope practitioner, polyamorous relationship veteran, and long-time member of the BDSM community, to explore the psychology of surrender, ethical dominance, and the transformative potential of connection-based kink.

We explore:

• • The psychology of ethical dominance.
• • Shibari, rope bondage, and surrender.
• • Topspace, flow states, and altered consciousness.
• • Performance-based kink vs connection-based kink.
• • Long-term polyamory and relationship longevity.

Research article: The Biology of BDSM: A Systematic Review

Supporters of The Erotic Realm:

• Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.
• Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.
• ProDx Health at home STI testing here.

Innovative Sex Tech:

• Lioness here.
• Kiiroo here.
• Luxus here.
• Lovense here.

Science-backed libido support:

• Flow supplement here.
• Desire supplement here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to apply to be on the podcast. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Can kink help people heal trauma—or is that a dangerous misunderstanding?

In this episode I sit down with JDominatrix, a trauma-informed kink educator, Mistress, sadist, and community leader, to explore one of the most debated topics in BDSM: the relationship between trauma, healing, and erotic power.

We explore:

• Trauma-informed approaches to BDSM
• Can kink become part of healing?
• Consent, trust, and ethical power exchange
• The psychology of Dominance and submission
• Running a dungeon and teaching kink
• Community, growth, and erotic empowerment

Research article: Trauma-Informed Kink Healing

Supporters of The Erotic Realm:

• Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.
• Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.
• ProDx Health at home STI testing here.

Innovative Sex Tech:

• Lioness here.
• Kiiroo here.
• Luxus here.
• Lovense here.

Science-backed libido support:

• Flow supplement here.
• Desire supplement here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to apply to be on the podcast. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What happens when a woman stops believing the myth that desire belongs only to the young?

In this episode I’m joined by Brookiana to explore aging, erotic reinvention, and the psychology of becoming desired again.

We explore:

• Noetisexuality and attraction to intellect and depth.
• Aging, femininity, and erotic reinvention.
• Returning to sexuality after abstinence.
• Why younger men are drawn to emotionally mature women.
• Writing erotica and reclaiming erotic identity later in life.

Research article: Sex and the (older) single girl: Experiences of sex and dating in later life.

Supporters of The Erotic Realm:

• Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.
• Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.
• ProDx Health at home STI testing here.

Innovative Sex Tech:

• Lioness here.
• Kiiroo here.
• Luxus here.
• Lovense here.

Science-backed libido support:

• Flow supplement here.
• Desire supplement here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to apply to be on the podcast. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What happens when desire is no longer seen as something personal — but something ecological?

In this episode I’m joined by Sketchy to explore the intersection of queer identity, biology, and erotic connection. We unpack the idea of “the ecology of desire” — where attraction, intimacy, and sexuality are not just internal experiences, but relational processes shaped by our connection to the world around us.

We explore:

• The concept of the ecology of desire.
• Queer erotics and nature as inherently diverse.
• Biology, symbiosis, and intimacy.
• Desire as relational rather than individual.
• Kink, identity, and connection beyond the self.

Research article: Queer Ecologies: Sex, Nature, Politics, Desire.

VOTE for The Erotic Realm to win best podcast here. Thanks for voting!

Supporters of The Erotic Realm:

• Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.
• Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.
• ProDx Health at home STI testing here.

Innovative Sex Tech:

• Lioness here.
• Kiiroo here.
• Luxus here.
• Lovense here.

Science-backed libido support:

• Flow supplement here.
• Desire supplement here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to apply to be on the podcast. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What happens when surrender isn’t weakness — but identity?

In this episode I’m joined by Daniika — a submissive, masochist, and self-described slave exploring the psychology of power, pain, and total surrender.

We explore:

• The psychology of masochism and meaning in pain.
• What “slave” and “ownership” actually mean in BDSM.
• 24/7 power exchange in real life.
• Kink, identity, and the idea of orientation.
• Neurodivergence, structure, and erotic regulation.

Research article: The Kink Orientation Scale: Developing and Validating a Measure of Kink Desire, Practice, and Identity.

VOTE for The Erotic Realm to win best podcast here. Thanks for voting!

Supporters of The Erotic Realm:

• Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.
• Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.
• ProDx Health at home STI testing here.

Innovative Sex Tech:

• Lioness here.
• Kiiroo here.
• Luxus here.
• Lovense here.

Science-backed libido support:

• Flow supplement here.
• Desire supplement here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to apply to be on the podcast. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What happens when submission isn’t about obedience — but about play, tension, and choice?

In this episode of I’m joined by Jade — a bisexual, bratty submissive navigating the psychological complexity of power, identity, and desire across both kink and swinging spaces.

We explore:

• The psychology of brat energy and boundary play.
• Submission as choice vs identity.
• Kink vs swinging: key psychological differences.
• Navigating marriage alongside a D/s dynamic.
• Why people may already be engaging in BDSM without knowing it.

Research article: From Fantasy to Communication: BDSM Engagement, Sexual Experience Breadth, and Pleasure Deservingness Among College Women.

VOTE for The Erotic Realm to win best podcast here. Thanks for voting!

Supporters of The Erotic Realm:

• Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.
• Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.
• ProDx Health at home STI testing here.

Innovative Sex Tech:

• Lioness here.
• Kiiroo here.
• Luxus here.
• Lovense here.

Science-backed libido support:

• Flow supplement here.
• Desire supplement here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to apply to be on the podcast. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.