Why are fearful-avoidant and dismissive-avoidant partners so magnetically attracted to each other—only to become trapped in criticism, withdrawal, resentment, and disconnection?
In this episode, Dr. Sarah Hensley breaks down the fearful-avoidant/dismissive-avoidant relationship dynamic and explains how couples can interrupt the painful push-pull cycle before it destroys their relationship.
You’ll learn:
-Why fearful and dismissive avoidants are intensely attracted to each other
-How the honeymoon phase turns into a pursue-withdraw conflict cycle
-Why dismissive avoidants shut down—and why that activates fearful avoidants
-How criticism, emotional flooding, defensiveness, and unresolved conflict create resentment
-The dating red flags associated with both attachment styles
-Why conventional couples therapy can sometimes make this dynamic worse
-How neutral communication, emotional processing, mentalization, boundaries, and structured conflict repair can help
-Whether one partner can become the secure anchor and change the relationship
Dr. Hensley also shares a real-life conflict-repair example and explains why lasting regulation requires processing your emotions—not simply forcing yourself to calm down.
Whether you identify as fearful avoidant, dismissive avoidant, emotionally unavailable, or simply feel stuck in a push-pull relationship, this episode offers practical insight into understanding your attachment patterns, resolving conflict, and building a more secure connection.
Tune in every Tuesday morning for candid conversations, expert insights, and the guidance you need to navigate love and relationships in today’s world. For more information on Dr. Hensley’s offerings, explore the links below and connect with her on social media.
Patreon link:
patreon.com/TheDrSarahHensleyShowDr. Hensley’s Hybrid Group Coaching:
https://doctorsarahhensley.com/group-coachingIndividual Coaching:
Couples Coaching:
Purchase Dr. Hensley’s online courses:
Tik-Tok: @drsarahhensley
Instagram: @dr.sarahhensley
Facebook: Dr. Sarah Hensley
Youtube: @Dr.SarahHensley
Disclaimer: The content shared on this podcast reflects personal experiences, opinions, and perspectives. The stories told are based on real-life events as remembered and interpreted by the hosts and guests. While we may discuss past relationships, custody matters, or personal dynamics, we do so from our point of view and with the intention of healing, education, and advocacy.
Identities are not disclosed unless already publicly known or permitted, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental unless explicitly stated. The information provided is not intended to defame, malign, or harm any individual or entity.
We do not offer legal advice or psychological diagnosis. Listeners are encouraged to consult with professionals regarding their specific circumstances.
By listening to this podcast, you agree that the hosts are not liable for any losses, damages, or misunderstandings arising from its content.
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