The Come Alive Podcast – Details, episodes & analysis

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The Come Alive Podcast

John Wheeler

Religion & Spirituality

Education

Health & Fitness

Frequency: 1 episode/96d. Total Eps: 13

Conversations for creating a life worth living... About The Host: John Wheeler is a licensed professional counselor and an Access Consciousness® Certified Facilitator. He has many years facilitating and speaking to people around the world and aims to provide a level of ease in the world where possibility is just a choice away. He believes in empowering people to acknowledge what they know, be who they would like to be and choose everything they desire to have in their life, living and business. Above all else he provides tools, questions and reflective conversations to show how anyone can truly have a life that they believe is worth living.

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🇬🇧 Great Britain - spirituality
12/06/2026
#89

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http://www.john-wheeler.com/gaslighting
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What Comes First, a Willingness to Change or the Tools to Change It?

Episode 13

Wednesday, January 1, 2025 • Duration 19:37

If there's something in your life that hasn't changed, is it that you don't have the tools, or is it that you're not willing to change it? What comes first, a willingness to change or the tools to change it? You can go to therapy. You can do life coaching classes. You can pray. You can go to church. You can use whatever means, methods, or modalities to create change in your life. But no matter how many tools you have in the toolbox, nothing moves without the willingness to take action and the willingness to change it.

Questions you can ask yourself:

- If you're looking at creating a life worth living and you're looking at making a change, how committed are you?
- What is that thing that you're not changing providing? What is it actually serving? What purpose does it have?
- What have I not been willing to change in relationships?
- What am I willing to be, do, have, create, and generate in my life? Is there anything that I'm not willing to be, do, have, create, or generate in your life?

An Exercise:

1. Make a list of what you have not been willing to change in your life. Ask yourself: What have I not been willing to change in relationships? What have I not been willing to change in my business? What have I not been willing to change with my money flows? What have I not been willing to change with my body? What have I not been willing to change with myself and my image, my personality?

2. Go through that list and have a look at, what purpose does that thing that you won't change serve? And the purpose it serves could be considered positive or negative. It doesn't matter, but just have a look at it.

3. What are you willing to be, do, have, create, and generate in your life? Is there anything that you are not willing to be, do, have, create, or generate in your life? And if there's anything that you're not willing to be, do, have, create, or generate, what is underneath that? What are you willing in your life? What are you unwilling in your life? Unpack it. Have a look at the exercise again.

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Getting Real for 2024

Episode 12

Wednesday, January 31, 2024 • Duration 17:30

Let's get real in 2024. Let's stop looking at what we haven't changed as a way of judging that we're not changeable and let's get real about what you actually desire to change. If there is something in your life that isn't working that you've looked at over and over, what actions have you taken in the last year, two years, or three years time to change it? What's the motivation for the change?

"Getting Real" is the energy of getting present with you and your life and what actions you can take to change them. I have watched the past few months at how many people are emotionally reactive and how we feel about a situation, but much slower on how or what is required to change it.

Key Takeaways:

Don't judge yourself for staying where you are right now. Judging it doesn't change it, it will only make it grow and make you more reactive.
Give yourself permission and time to pause and ponder what is possible to change in the next year.
If you only look at what did change and what you want to change, but you don't commit to changing it, it doesn't matter. Are you committed to yourself enough to create the change in your life?
Be uncomfortable and willing to see what isn't working. If something is uncomfortable and our immediate response is to get comfortable again, we are only maintaining what we already have and are avoiding a possibility that could be had.

How To Stop Doing It:

What future are you creating?
Where would I like to go, where I like to be, what would I like to be doing and what would I like my life to be like during 2024?
What is you actually want to create as your life? What is worth living for for you?
What is it that you actually desire to change in 2024?
What pragmatic step can you take to start changing whatever it is you would truly like to change?
What can I add to my life to create the change?
Now that you know what you can add, which ones are you capable of implementing, which would you like to implement, which would you not like to implement, and which are you actually going to follow through with?
Are you committed to yourself enough to create the change in your life?

What have you decided is stopping you?

Episode 3

Friday, December 17, 2021 • Duration 18:24

What have you decided is stopping you and what have you decided you cannot move around, overcome, challenge or change? Is that actually true? Are you willing to do what it takes to change it?

Key Takeaways:

Whatever you've decided can stop you will.
Nothing in your life has stopped you and nothing ever will.
Things may not be or look the way you'd like and people may not treat you the way you wish they would, but you are here and you are part of this world.
The idea that anything can stop you is a lie.
You have a choice and you are in charge.

Exercise:
Have a look at the one thing you say you'd like to have in your life. Do you actually desire to have it? If you do, are you going to go get it?

Access Consciousness Tools:

What's it going to take to change this?
What's right about this I'm not getting?
What choice can I make today that can change all of this?

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What's valuable to you?

Episode 2

Friday, November 26, 2021 • Duration 16:33

What is valuable in your life? What if the thing that's most valuable in your life is you? What if you were the valuable product in your life? What if the value in your life was based on you and not based on what you have or do?

Are you making the things you don't have in your life more valuable than you? Are you looking at what you don't have as a measure of success? What if takes one step to get closer to what you desire.

Key Takeaways:

If you don't value you, who will?
If you don't value you, how does anything else have value?
Where are you including you in creating a life worth living for you?
How do you see value for you and how do you see what your value is?
What would if be like to actually have the space where you value you.

Exercise:
Grab a piece of paper and write down FIVE things that make you valuable? Have a look at those five things and...

How many of them are intrinsic about you?
How many are based on actions or things you do for others?
If a lot of it is based on what you do for others, what happens to your value when the other person doesn't receive it?
Does it give you less value, more value or is it irrelevant?
What if what makes you valuable isn't what you do for others and how much greater could those things become if you include you in them?

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Creating a Life Worth Living

Episode 1

Saturday, November 6, 2021 • Duration 15:39

What does it mean to create a life worth living?

What if it's not about figuring out what a life worth living is, but about being in the question daily of what is it you'd like to create as your life?

During this episode I share with you the inspiration behind creating this podcast and what it is I've learned about creating a life worth living.

Key Takeaways:

If you knew nothing before today, what would you like to have as your life and where would you like to go?
You do not have to stop your life for anything.
How many of the things that you've decided aren't working in your life are what you've decided you can't change?
What if today you took a moment to look at what it is for you to create a life worth living?
What if everything you've been looking for as a life worth living has always been available and the "Universe" is just waiting to gift it to you?
Ask a question and then LIVE your life!

Exercise:
If you took all the judgments out of it, all the projections and expectations out of what others have told you your life should be:

What would you have your life be?
Who would you talk to?
Who would you take out of your life?
What would you have in your life and what would you remove?
Give yourself the permission to explore what is a life worth living for you?

Access Consciousness Tools:

How does it get any better than this?®
What else is possible?®

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Where and How Do You Self-Abuse?

Episode 11

Friday, June 23, 2023 • Duration 19:51

It's often easy to see how others are mean, abusive, or terrible in our eyes, but it's another world to see where we do it to ourselves. Where do you self-abuse and what does it look like? In this episode, I explore conversations I've had with clients, and myself, in order to explore four specific ways we can self-abuse. What if you were willing to be honest and present enough with yourself to change this for you and, in return, begin to change how others treat you?

Four Ways We Self-Abuse:

By making others greater than ourselves for the same tasks and talking ourselves down.
By making someone’s needs, desires and wants of you more important than your own.
By judging you for anything you do or don’t do, and choose or don't choose, rather than acknowledging it’s a choice.
By trying to make yourself fit into the way other people see you or desire you to be.

How To Stop Doing It:

Acknowledge where you are great and be willing to see the beliefs you have about yourself.
Communicate what you require in life and demand it of you and your relationships.
Build a sense of who you are and trust yourself to know what's really going on. No more doubt!
Be willing to reflect on where you do these things to yourself, be honest and present with yourself, and start looking at the steps you can take to change it.

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Get Comfortable with Uncomfortable

Episode 10

Tuesday, January 24, 2023 • Duration 14:36

What is it that you'd like to have as your life and are you willing to get uncomfortable? Some of the things you'd like to have in your life may require you to get your hands dirty and dig in, which isn't always comfortable. Are you ready to get started creating your life worth living?

Key Takeaways:

Things that you look at changing or being different require you to get a little uncomfortable.
Sameness is comfortable. Being uncomfortable is an exploration beyond what you already have and to get to what you'd like to have requires change.
You can't get somewhere new, if you don't know where you are.
Questions you can ask: Where am I at today, where would I like to be, and where am I headed?
There may be several steps you and Universe have to take to get where you'd like to be. So, where can you start? By waking up because what you do and choose today creates your tomorrow.
The difficulty in getting what you'd like is getting through the lies you've told yourself about what you can and cannot have.
Stop looking at what you don't want and start asking for what you do.

Questions to Ask:

Where am I at today?
Where would I like to be?
Where am I headed?
Where can I start?
What would I like to have as my life?
What is it I actually desire in life?
What is it I actually desire as my future?

4 Tools to Get Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable:

Acknowledging
Choices
Starting
Question

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Who or What Do You Trust?

Episode 9

Wednesday, November 30, 2022 • Duration 16:03

Who or what do you trust? Do you actually trust yourself? Or do you look outside of yourself for what others are choosing, saying, validating, or invalidating about you in order to fit their mold?

Key Takeaways:

Trust is not blind faith. Don't make assumptions about people, see what they will actually choose.
Trust starts when you are a kid and first learn how to navigate your life. Trust comes from experience.
If you use your relationships to navigate who or what you are you must be subject to maintaining that relationship.
The only person who truly knows who and what you are is you...period.
Start asking yourself what you know and begin to experience the things you believe you'd like to have in life.
If you truly trust yourself, you can never actually fail.
Trust is one of the ways to get out of the side effects and symptoms of having been gaslighted.
The only way to create a life worth living is to first know what you would like to have.

Exercise:
Give yourself 5 minutes and ask yourself:

What do I know about business?
what do I know about money?
What do I know about relationships?
What do I know about family?
What do I know about myself?

The only answer you cannot use is "I don't know." As you're writing your list be present and have a look at what comes up for you in these areas. Is the first thing that comes to mind what you know and what you believe or is it all the things you don't know and can't believe? Is it all about the problems or the possibilities? This isn't about what's wrong with you, it's about getting clear in your life.

Want more on this topic and gaslighting? Join me for a 2-day workshop on "Shutting off the Gas to Gaslighting" on January 28th, 2023. For full details, please visit www.john-wheeler.com/gaslighting

Gaslighting...what is it?

Episode 8

Friday, September 23, 2022 • Duration 12:43

Gaslighting has become a buzzword and everyone is talking about it, but who really knows what it is? When it comes to creating a life worth living for you, this is one of the ways we allow ourselves to be at the effect of another and create a sense of self-doubt.

Key Takeaways:

Gaslighting is a systemic use of manipulation that's often subtle.
Happens so frequently and so subtely you often don't know it's taking place.
Designed to get you re-orient your life around this other person and their truth.
Often becomes a basic function of your relationships.
Gaslighting can appear in all relationships including romantic relationships, the workplace and religious institutions/organizations.
The main purpose is to get you to lose your sense of self.

Tactics of Gaslighters:

Complisults - A compliment with an insult attached
At the start, they tell you how great you are and make false promises

Tips to Deal with Gaslighting:

Don't make it right/wrong or fighting it, it's about being aware that it exists or is taking place.
Get the value of you and how valuable you actually are.
Pay attention when you're gaslighting yourself and the systemic negative beliefs you have about yourself.

Exercise:
Give yourself some time to reflect on the different messages you have had from other people and yourself. Were they empowering and inviting you to something more? Or are they designed in a way to make you doubt yourself and to make that person, project or company greater than you? Again, it's not about fighting and judging it, but just acknowledged how it has looked throughout your life.

Want more on this topic? Join me for a 2-day workshop on "Shutting off the Gas to Gaslighting" on January 28th, 2023. For full details, please visit www.john-wheeler.com/gaslighting

Questions! Are You Asking Any?

Episode 7

Sunday, May 15, 2022 • Duration 20:04

What if questions were about getting clarity in your life? Not from a place of figuring anything out or getting to an answer, but from opening the doors of what’s possible. For anything in your life that you’d like to change or see different the place to start is a question. What change in the world are you aware of that you're not asking for?

Key Takeaways:

Question is not about figuring anything out or getting an answer.
What if there is nothing wrong with you?
What if what’s been missing all along in what you cannot change was a question?
One thing that really stick you is if you make something relevant for you that really isn’t.
What if right now you gave yourself permission to acknowledge all the changes in your life?

Exercises:
Right now, look at some area of your life that won’t change, can’t change or hasn’t changed. Now grab some paper and run through these four questions:

What is this?
What can I do with it?
Can I change it?
If so, how can I change it?

Access Consciousness® Tools:

Always be the question, never have the answer.
Four questions to change anything in your life.
Is this relevant?
Acknowledgment

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The Come Alive Podcast – Details, episodes & analysis

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The Come Alive Podcast – Details, episodes & analysis

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