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Episode 119: Drawing Strength from the Past —The Spirit of Justice & True Stories of Faith, Race, and Resistance with Dr. Jemar Tisby05 Sep 202400:48:11
It was an absolute honor to sit down with New York Times bestselling author & public historian Dr. Jemar Tisby for an incredibly rich conversation about his brand new book,The Spirit of Justice. We discuss his own story of coming to faith and what led him to explore stories of Black Christians who tirelessly pursued healing, goodness, and justice against impossible odds. Here’s what we cover: 1. The impact of culture on mental & emotional health 2. The double-edged sword of religion 3. The dissonance Jemar felt as a Black Christian in predominantly white settings 4. The lifelines who helped him shore up his faith 5. What is the spirit of justice? 6. Jemar’s thoughts on therapy 7. What stories of resistance teach us about following Jesus Get Jemar Tisby's new book The Spirit of Justice here. Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Thanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Get 40% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Visit cozyearth.com and unlock an exclusive 35% off with code BESTOFYOU. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Episode 118: Types of Therapy, the Importance of Trauma-Informed Care, & the Role of Sin in Therapy29 Aug 202400:37:15
Today, Cindy and I are tackling your questions about therapy, shedding light on research, common challenges, and insights to help you on your own healing journey! Here's what we cover: 1. Which modality should I use (DBT / CBT / IFS / EMDR)? (4:30) 2. What is the most important factor in getting results? (8:53) 3. What is trauma-informed therapy? (10:07) 4. How do therapists deal with getting triggered by a client? (16:03) 6. What if I’m “too much” for my therapist? (21:51) 7. Does therapy take the role of sin too lightly? (24:28) Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 67: The Link Between Faith & Emotional Healing—Gen Z, College Life, & A Hidden Search for Meaning with Cindy Gao Episode 70: Mastering the Art of Emotional Intelligence—How to Harness the Power of Your Emotions to Improve Your Relationships Episode 23: Am I wounded or am I sinful? Episode 113: A New Vision of Human Flourishing—A Christian Approach to Mental Health with Duke University Psychiatrist & Theologian Warren Kinghorn Thanks to our sponsors: Register for the Broken to Beloved Conference today Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Visit cozyearth.com and unlock an exclusive 35% off with code BESTOFYOU. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Episode 109: Healing Burdens From the Past—How to Overcome Childhood Wounds and Heal Your Younger Self with Tammy Sollenberger27 Jun 202400:55:43
Do you ever struggle with negative beliefs about yourself, even though you know they aren't true? We all carry burdens that we pick up in childhood, and these burdens can be surprisingly persistent. Today's guest, therapist, author of The One Inside, & host of The One Inside IFS podcast, Tammy Sollenberger shares her journey of healing her younger self from these painful burdens. Here's what we cover: The surprising way we can connect with God's healing Why we pick up burdens in childhood How Tammy healed her burden of "I'm not wanted" The impact of childhood burdens on marriage and parenting The spiritual practices that have helped Tammy heal Find the transcript and resources from the episode here. Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here. If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 108: Inside Out—Internal Family Systems, Therapy, and High-Performing Protectors with Jenna Riemersma Thanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Sign up for AromaTru's Insider Club today and you'll receive a FREE Waterless Oil Diffuser and a FREE lemon eucalyptus oil - that's over $200 in savings. Head to aromatruorganics.com/bestofyou to take advantage of this exclusive offer. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Head over to WildHealth.com/BESTOFYOU and use code BESTOFYOU at checkout for 20% off! Whether you're exploring distant lands or enjoying a staycation at home, Cozy Earth has your back. Visit cozyearth.com and unlock an exclusive 35% off with code BESTOFYOU. Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Music by Andy Luiten / Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Episode 21: Making and Keeping A Promise to Yourself22 Sep 202200:37:59
Today on The Best of You podcast, we're starting a new series on Boundaries and the Bible. And we're starting with what I call the Yes Side of No. So many of us struggle with setting external boundaries because we keep the focus on the other person. But the work of setting boundaries starts inside of you. In today's episode, I walk you through how to build to trust with yourself from the inside out. Here's what we cover: 1. Why I don’t believe boundaries start with No  2. Can I really learn to trust myself?  3. What about sin?  4. What is an internal (vs. external) locus of control and why does it matter?  5. Examples of promises you can make to parts of you carrying pain  6. Examples of promises you can make to your body  7. A challenge to you that we'll circle back to next week. Thanks to our sponsor Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today! Get your print, ebook, or audio copy of The Best of You anywhere books are sold. Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here. Music by Andy Luiten  Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Episode 20: Making Peace with Yourself (& Facing Your Fear of Disappointing Other People)15 Sep 202200:31:09
Sometimes living at peace with other people, means living at peace with disappointing them. It’s incredibly important to balance your responsibility to other people with a deep sense of responsibility to your God-given self. It’s not only good for you. It’s good for other people.    Living at peace with yourself is a process of figuring out that balance. Here's what we cover in today's podcast episode: 1. How to make peace with yourself  2. Making friends with yourself  3. Living at peace with others  4. Facing your fear of disappointing other people  5. How Jesus disappointed people  6. How to disappoint people with integrity Thanks to our sponsor Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today! Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here. Music by Andy Luiten  Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Episode 19: My Stroke, A Process of Healing, and How I Began to Write The Best of You08 Sep 202200:18:41
At the exact moment I began to bring The Best of You to life, I encountered a  trauma that would literally knock me off my feet, forcing me to test everything I hoped to write about. This week is the 2-year anniversary of that trauma. It’s unbelievable to me that this book is coming out next week on 9/13.    In today’s episode, I read this very personal story from the introduction of The Best of You, along with some added commentary. It’s a tender story. Thank you for holding it with me.   Thanks to our sponsor Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today!  Preorder The Best of You and take advantage of all the bonus resources until midnight on 9/12.   Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here  Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik   While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Episode 18: Selfhood vs. Selfishness01 Sep 202200:35:56
This week on the podcast, we’re talking about selfhood. Many of us have been taught that "self" is bad. But there’s a big difference between selfhood and selfishness. Furthermore being selfless is not always the right choice. Reclaiming a healthy sense of self is not opposed to faith. In fact, learning to honor yourself goes hand-in-hand with honoring the One who made you. I get personal this week, because this journey is deeply personal for me. We discuss: 1. My own story of loving God but not having a self  2. What is the difference between selfhood and selfishness?  3. Why is selfhood key to healthy relationships?  4. How selfhood is the missing first step to setting healthy boundaries  5. What does the bible have to say about selfhood?  6. Jesus’s example of selfhood Thanks to our sponsor Better Help —Go to www.betterhelp.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 10% off your first month! Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here. Music by Andy Luiten  Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Episode 17: What is Church Hurt and How do I Heal?25 Aug 202200:41:58
Today’s podcast episode is all about church hurt. A church is a family—at its best it’s a place to learn about God, a place to heal, and a place to give & receive in community. But just like any family, when leadership turns toxic the results are devastating. You have so many questions for me about the pain that comes at the hands of a church family. I enter into today’s episode with a spirit of reverence and a prayer for all who have been hurt in this way. 1. What is church hurt?  2. The problem with the term church hurt  3. Why anyone with power (pastors, leaders, parents, and yes, even therapists!) hold great responsibility  4. Examples of church hurt  5. 3 Red Flags for toxic church cultures  6. The problem with groupthink  7. How do I heal from church hurt? Key Point:  God doesn't force, control, or manipulate you. God meets you where you are tenderly, and He wants to restore the goodness in your life that was taken away from you by an abusive leader. Thanks to our sponsor Better Help —Go to www.betterhelp.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 10% off your first month! Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here Music by Andy Luiten  Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Episode 16: What are attachment styles and why does it matter?18 Aug 202200:40:57
Today’s podcast episode is one of your top requests: it’s all about attachment. Be sure to listen to the end for my thoughts on how attachment wounds impact our human relationships and our experience of a loving God. Here’s what we discuss: 1. Why I think we’re not just one attachment style 2. What are 4 different attachment styles? 3. Can your attachment style change? 4. The key ingredient that creates attachment 5. How to create secure attachment with your own children 6. Why our attachment styles create confusion in our adult relationships 7. A picture of healthy attachment from a favorite old movie 8. My thoughts on God and attachment Thanks to our sponsor Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today! Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here. Music by Andy Luiten  Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Episode 15: CPTSD—The Pain of A Million Paper Cuts11 Aug 202200:40:51
Today’s podcast episode is packed. Phew! You wanted to talk CPTSD (or complex trauma) so that’s where we’re going, with a side note on trauma & faith communities and some thoughts on what it *really* means to find safety in other people. 1. What is CPTSD?  2. What are the symptoms of CPTSD?  3. How does it impact healthy self-trust & an experience of safety in other people?  4. Why I don’t believe you are a label  5. My thoughts on trauma and faith communities  6. 4 key ways to heal from CPTSD Thanks to our sponsor Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today! Preorder The Best of You Register for 5 Toxic Behaviors & How to Protect Yourself Find a list of resources and the full transcript for this episode here. Sign up to receive Dr. Cook’s weekly email and receive 2 free e-books and a guided prayer reflection at https://www.dralisoncook.com/books/boundaries-for-your-soul.  Music by Andy Luiten  Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Episode 14: The Fawn Response & The Hidden Root of People Pleasing 04 Aug 202200:31:24
Psychology Buzzwords are back, only this time you picked the topics! This week we're focusing on the 4 Fear Responses, often called Survival Responses or Trauma Responses, with a special look at the Fawn Response. 1. What are 4 common fear responses?  2. What is the freeze response?  3. What is disassociation?  4. How are these responses helpful?  5. What is this Fawn Response?  6. What are the hidden fears underneath it? 7. Why doesn't talking myself out of a fear response work?  8. What *does* work to help me return to calm? Thanks to our sponsor Organifi —Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today! Find a list of resources for this episode here. Sign up to receive Dr. Cook’s weekly email and receive 2 free e-books and a guided prayer reflection at dralisoncook.com  Music by Andy Luiten  Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Episode 13: Criticism, Narcissism, and Boundaries—Dr. Alison Answers Your Questions28 Jul 202200:27:33
This week on the podcast, I’m answering 3 of your questions! All of these questions relate to dealing with our parents as adults: 1. How do you cope with an internal critical voice that came from a parent? 2. What is the next step after recognizing that my parents were narcissistic? 3. Am I disrespecting my parents when I set boundaries with them? I discuss: —What is an inner critic? —How do we retrain an internal critical voice? —What beliefs do we take in when raised by narcissistic parents? —What is trauma-informed therapy? —God’s heart for healing —Boundaries 101 principles as an adult with your parents Stay tuned for next week’s new series: Psychology Buzzwords Round 2 - Listener’s Choice Edition Find a list of resources for this episode here Sign up to receive Dr. Cook’s weekly email and receive 2 free e-books and a guided prayer reflection at https://www.dralisoncook.com/books/boundaries-for-your-soul  Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Episode 12: Overcoming the Pain of Divorce21 Jul 202201:00:18
Divorce is so rarely discussed yet it touches all of us—whether you've gone through a divorce or love someone who has. That’s why I’m so grateful that Eryn Eddy bravely went there with me today. This is such an honest conversation about the pain of divorce—and the compounded pain that comes afterward. She speaks with nuance & humility about the loneliness of a distant marriage, and how discovering the secrets that led to that distance didn’t come out until after she’d shouldered most of the blame. She is upfront about owning her own stuff, even as she *finally* realized it was not her job to own his. Before we dive in, I want to highlight 2 points:   —If someone is telling you: “If you were more godly or if you were more loving, then HE wouldn’t do XYZ (porn, cheat, drink. . .)”  that’s called *blame shifting* and it’s toxic.   —If your spouse is narcissistic, couples therapy likely won’t work. And it could end up hurting you. (See this episode podcast page for resources.) Here’s what we discuss in this episode:   1. You can be loved well as a child and still bump up against toxicity in your adult relationships   2. How doing all the “right things” didn’t work.   3. How the pursuit of attention outside of marriage is often more subtle than we like to admit   4. Why loneliness or pain in marriage is so hard to talk about   5. How secrecy in marriage can lead to confusion and self-blame   6. How Eryn learned to “date herself” and find validation apart from men   7. Why it’s important to both own our mistakes *and* show compassion to ourselves for what we do when we are in pain   8. How she learned to trust a new therapist after a bad experience Connect with Eryn on Instagram @eryneddy or @soworthloving  www.eryneddy.com   www.soworthloving.com Find a list of resources for this episode here. Sign up to receive Dr. Cook’s weekly email and receive 2 free e-books and a guided prayer reflection here. Music by Andy Luiten  Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Episode 108: Inside Out—Internal Family Systems, Therapy, and High-Performing Protectors with Jenna Riemersma20 Jun 202400:49:50
Do you ever feel like you're wearing a mask, hiding how you really feel from others? Do you find yourself in conflict with different aspects of your personality, struggling to find harmony? In honor of the new Pixar movie, Inside Out 2, we're diving into Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy in a brand new series this week! Today's guest, Jenna Riemersma is an amazing human, an expert IFS clinician, and the bestselling author of 2 books on IFS. Here's what we cover: What is Internal Family Systems (IFS)? The hidden cost of high-performance armor Are kids truly resilient or just coping? 3 signs of a good therapist Jenna's journey of writing her book on IFS Innovative Practices for ongoing healing Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Connect with Jenna at: https://jennariemersma.com/ Get Jenna's free Insight Timer IFS meditations Read Altogether You and Altogether Us If you like this episode you'll love: Episode 39: Boundaries For Your Soul: How to Navigate Your Overwhelming Thoughts & Feelings Episode 40: 5 Steps to Healing Painful Emotions Episode 43: How to Tame Your Inner Critic & Why All Parts Are Welcome Thanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Become the best version of yourself and get 15% off Ned products with code BESTOFYOU. Go to helloned.com/BESTOFYOU or enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout. Head to airdoctorpro.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to receive UP TO 39%! Get 40% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. Whether you're exploring distant lands or enjoying a staycation at home, Cozy Earth has your back. Visit cozyearth.com and unlock an exclusive 35% off with code BESTOFYOU. Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Episode 11: How to Start Loving Your Body14 Jul 202201:00:07
If you struggle with body image or how to make wise decisions on behalf of what you *actually* want out of your life, please do not miss this episode. Christy Meeks provides such grounded, thoughtful, and focused insight into how she overcame the pain of weaponizing her body and learned to work with her body as a beautiful and unique gift. She is a wife, a mom of 5 children, and a body image coach. 1. How one painful moment in childhood changed the way she viewed her body for decades  2. The way exercise can be both a weapon and a superpower  3. How to find ways to physicalize emotional pain, so that it flows through our bodies  4. The pain of miscarriage  5. Why she decided to leave social media  6. How to translate self-awareness to action, so that we’re living our lives with intention.  7. How true freedom comes from the inner conviction that you are living the life that is right for YOU. You can find a list of all the resources mentioned in this episode here.  Sign up to receive Dr. Cook’s weekly email and receive 2 free e-books and a guided prayer reflection here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Episode 10: What are limiting beliefs and how do I overcome them?07 Jul 202200:53:05
This podcast is a gold mine of rich, hopeful nuggets for anyone who has struggled to overcome limiting beliefs. My guest, Mary Marantz, is so gentle and thoughtful and wise as she reflects on the challenges of her childhood and the life she went on to create. It’s a beautiful tribute to the power of “both—and.”   We discuss these topics and more:   1. Different types of poverty  2. How the messages our parents give us and the desires of our own hearts can create painful inner conflict  3. The limiting beliefs we pick up without even realizing it—and how to break free from them  4. How to honor a parent while also disagreeing with them  5. The 10 scripts we all have to confront in our minds  6. The temptation—and the danger—of being the woman who always come through   Connect with Mary at www.marymarantz.com/quiz, or on Instagram @marymarantz   You can find a list of all the resources mentioned in this episode here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Episode 9: Hidden Pain and the Power of Facing Your Fear30 Jun 202200:48:17
This conversation is an absolute gift. Bianca is a powerhouse of wisdom who talks honestly about the hidden pain that both motivated her and almost got the best of her. She shares about the moment she passed out on her dorm room floor from carrying so much hidden pain—and how she began to face the fears that drove her.    You do not want to miss her encouragement for listeners with mother or father wounds and the commitment she made to herself to “die empty." We discuss these topics and more:   1. Will I struggle with feeling pain forever?  2. Why trying to “just be happy” doesn’t work.  3. How her first trip to counseling was a bust  4. How fear can motivate us in both positive and negative ways  5. The burdens of generational trauma that can add to our pain  6. The pressure she put on herself to heal so she wouldn’t pass on pain to her own children  7. How she learned to advocate for herself and “staffed” herself accordingly   Connect with Bianca at behindtheconfidentsmile.com or on  Instagram: @biancancotton & @behindtheconfidentsmile    You can find a list of all the resources mentioned in this episode at dralisoncook.com/podcast Sign up to receive Dr. Cook’s weekly email and receive 2 free e-books and a guided prayer reflection. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Episode 8: Overcoming Addiction and Learning to Ask for Help23 Jun 202200:52:25
We are launching a new series on the podcast this week: Real People Overcoming Real Problems!  You do not want to miss this very first episode with author, speaker, podcaster, and new friend of mine, Ashley Abercrombie who shares with me her story of overcoming addiction and learning to ask for help.   Ashley speaks candidly about the pain in her life, how she tried to numb it, and the divide that nearly shattered her until she learned to ask for help. And do not miss the last part of this interview where Ashley talks about how she's been getting through a period of extended isolation and loneliness these past few years.   We discuss SO MUCH in this episode—here are just a few highlights:   1. The various big “T” and little “t” traumas that can lead to addiction and painful patterns of self-soothing.  2. Why carrying your pain silently doesn’t work.  3. How Ashley finally found healing in safe community  4. Why failure is our friend  5. How to be helpful (and what’s not helpful) to people who are struggling  6. The wisdom Ashley would give her 20-year-old self now.    Connect with Ashley on Instagram Ashley’s After Hours newsletter on Substack Books by Ashley: Rise of the Truth Teller: Own Your Story, Tell It Like It Is, and Live with Holy Gumption Love Is the Resistance: Learn to Disagree, Resolve the Conflicts You've Been Avoiding, and Create Real Change   You can find a list of all the resources mentioned in this episode, at https://www.dralisoncook.com/podcast Sign up at https://www.dralisoncook.com/books/boundaries-for-your-soul to receive Dr. Cook’s weekly email and receive 2 free e-books and a guided prayer reflection.  Music by Andy Luiten  Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Episode 7: Why are boundaries so hard to set?16 Jun 202200:31:19
The #1 question I get asked about is how to set boundaries.   They are so important and so powerful, and yet they are so hard to set.  We dive into the power of boundaries in this episode and I guide you through a real time exercise on taking that first step no matter what you are facing.   1. Why is it so hard to set boundaries?  2. What is the primary purpose of boundaries?  3. What 2 skills does boundary setting require?  4. What is the first step to setting boundaries?  5. What does the Bible have to say about boundaries?  6. An exercise to help you take a first step.   Key Take Away: Boundaries are not primarily about saying no to other people. Boundaries are first and foremost about safeguarding the heart, mind, soul, and body God has given you.   You can find a list of all the resources mentioned in this episode at www.dralisoncook.com/podcast/   Sign up to receive Dr. Cook’s weekly email and receive 2 free e-books and a guided prayer reflection at https://www.dralisoncook.com/books/boundaries-for-your-soul  Music by Andy Luiten   Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Episode 6: Do I Really Have an Inner Child? What It Means to Reparent Yourself09 Jun 202200:32:25
What is this “inner child” we see everywhere? Do I really have one? Is this just woo-woo psychology or is there science behind it? Why does it matter? We’ll get into all of this today, including the power of memory in shaping who you are.   Here’s what we’ll discuss:   1. What is an inner child and do I really have one?  2. Is there any science behind it?  3. What is an internal family?  4. Who is the wise parent inside of you?  5. What does the Bible have to say about our inner child?  6. A 10 minute guided reflection to help you connect to a young part of yourself.   Key Takeaway: Like a wise parent, we can learn to parent the young parts of us. We can bring them to Jesus who invited the children always to come to him—without shame or judgment.   You can find a list of all the resources mentioned in this episode at www.dralisoncook.com/podcast/   Sign up to receive Dr. Cook’s weekly email and receive 2 free e-books and a guided prayer reflection at https://www.dralisoncook.com/books/boundaries-for-your-soul  Music by Andy Luiten   Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Episode 5: What is codependency and why does it matter?02 Jun 202200:34:03
Do you get so consumed with the needs of others, that you lose sight of your own?  Do you struggle with focusing on caring for yourself?   There's no shame in codependency—I've struggled with it for years. And I believe nearly everyone struggles with it on some level. Learn the surprising antidote to codependency and how to take steps toward healthy dependence.   1. What is codependency?  2. What’s the difference between being kind and being codependent?  3. What are some examples of codependent behaviors?  4. 5 signs that you might have codependent tendencies.    5. 2 indicators you might be in a codependent relationship  6. 3 practical ways to move toward healthy dependence   Check out the Human Hope Podcast here  Key Takeaway: There’s a difference between being kind—and caring for someone else while causing harm to yourself.   Questions for reflection: What keeps you from noticing and focusing on your own needs?  Which of the 3 steps offered at the end of this episode can you take to move toward healthy dependence?   You can find a list of all the resources mentioned in this episode at www.dralisoncook.com/podcast Sign up to receive Dr. Cook’s weekly email and receive 2 free e-books and a guided prayer reflection at https://www.dralisoncook.com/books/boundaries-for-your-soul  Music by Andy Luiten   Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Episode 4: What do I need to know about trauma?26 May 202200:37:14
Trauma is a bigger player in our lives than you might think. It's the unacknowledged guest at every gathering of humans.  And if we could learn to understand it better, we'd create a kinder, more compassionate world.    In today's episode we discuss trauma:      1. What is trauma?      2. What are Big T and little T traumas?      3. How does trauma impact your relationship to yourself, others and God?      4. The shaming messages that often sneak in as a result of trauma      5. What does the Bible say about trauma and healing?      6. How do you begin to heal?   Questions to consider:  What if what happened wasn’t your fault?  What if you didn’t deserve that treatment?  What if there’s not something wrong with you?  What if you were created a beautiful soul made in God's image?  Is there any sliver of you that could believe that?  What if the heart of God is to heal?   You can find a list of all the resources mentioned in this episode, including trauma-informed care, at www.dralisoncook.com/podcast Sign up to receive Dr. Cook’s weekly email and receive 2 free e-books and a guided prayer reflection at https://www.dralisoncook.com/books/boundaries-for-your-soul  Music by Andy Luiten  Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Episode 3: What is self-love and should I really love myself?19 May 202200:30:21
Do you shove yourself aside?  Do you think it's selfish to love yourself—or even wrong?   Learn practical steps you can take toward improving one of your most important relationships, your relationship with YOU.  We'll cover:  1. My story of shoving myself aside  2. What does self-love really mean?  3. Can I love myself and love God?  4. 2 reasons you don’t love yourself  5. 4 messages that teach you *not* to love yourself  6. An exercise you can do each morning to start loving yourself.   Questions for Reflection:   —What messages have you heard about loving yourself?  —What is one action you can take toward honoring yourself this week?  —Try the MEPS exercise mentioned at the end of this episode. What did you notice? Were you surprised by anything?   Key takeaway: The way you treat yourself will have a direct impact on how you treat others.   Sign up to receive Dr. Cook’s weekly email and receive 2 free e-books and a guided prayer reflection at https://www.dralisoncook.com/books/boundaries-for-your-soul Music by Andy Luiten   Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Bonus Q&A: A Gaslighting Spouse & Narcissistic Parents17 May 202200:23:59
In this special bonus episode, I answer two of your questions: 1. My spouse used to gaslight me, but has shown meaningful change. I'm still angry. What should I do? 2. My parents were narcissistic and now I constantly seek validation from others. How do I stop? Visit https://www.dralisoncook.com/books/boundaries-for-your-soul to sign up to receive Dr. Cook’s weekly email and receive 2 free e-books and a guided prayer reflection.  Music by Andy Luiten  Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Episode 107: Name, Frame, & Brave Depression: Science-Backed Strategies to Treat Mild and Stubborn Depression & Recover Your Joy with Dr. Len Lantz13 Jun 202400:46:37
Have you or someone you love struggled with depression? If so, you’re not alone. Rates of depression have increased in the past few years, and my guest today is here to give us hopeful, helpful, science-backed wisdom on how to name, frame, and brave a path out of depression. From identifying the subtle signs of mild depression to addressing more severe and persistent symptoms, our conversation will equip you with practical tools and strategies to tackle depression. Whether you're personally struggling or supporting a loved one, this episode will help you find clarity and direction. My guest today, Dr. Len Lantz, is one of America's top psychiatrists and a clinical assistant professor in psychiatry at the University of Washington School of Medicine. He is the editor of www.psychiatryresource.com, and he maintains a clinical practice at Big Sky Psychiatry in Helena, Montana. **Content Warning: This episode briefly touches on the topic of suicide. We want you to feel safe and cared for while listening, so please take care, or if you need to skip this one, consider asking a friend to listen on your behalf.** Here’s what we cover: 1. Why mental health diagnoses are hard to get right (10:53) 2. Current statistics on increasing rates of depression (16:51) 3. Signs and symptoms of depression (18:21) 4. Debunking stigmas about depression in faith-based communities (22:53) 5. Research-backed interventions for mild depression (25:48) 6. Proven medical options for treating severe or stubborn depression (33:38) 7. How to support a loved one struggling with depression (38:56) Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Related Episodes: Episode 104: Overcoming the Fear of Vulnerability—Strategies to Stop Feeling Alone and Build Meaningful Connections Episode 106: Transform Limiting Beliefs, Embrace Critical Thinking, & Navigate Holistic Health with Dr. Josh Axe Episode 33: People Pleasing & Developing Your Own Inner Compass: Thoughts on Depression, Mental Health & the Church, and Finding Hope in Dark Places Thanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Go to https://hensonshaving.com and enter BESTOFYOU at checkout to get 100 free blades with your purchase. (Note: you must add both the 100-blade pack and the razor for the discount to apply.) This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Give all the fathers in your life a unique, heartfelt gift you’ll all cherish for years—StoryWorth! Right now, save $10 on your first purchase when you go to StoryWorth.com/bestofyou! Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Whether you're exploring distant lands or enjoying a staycation at home, Cozy Earth has your back. Visit cozyearth.com and unlock an exclusive 35% off with code BESTOFYOU. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Episode 2: What should I know about gaslighting?12 May 202200:43:21
What should I know about gaslighting?  In this episode we'll discuss:   1. What is gaslighting?  2. What are some examples of it in real life?  3. Why do people do this?  4. What does the Bible have to say about gaslighting?  5. The #1 question I get from people who are dealing with a gaslighter  6. How do I protect myself with someone who gaslights?   Questions for Reflection:  —Are there any relationships in your life where gaslighting is occurring?  —Who are the people you trust?  —Who are the people who help you move toward the best of who you are?  —Are there any areas in your life of dishonesty or deception? Key takeaway: The more you get honest with yourself and with God, the more you detect honesty and health in others.  Sign up to receive Dr. Cook’s weekly email and receive 2 free e-books and a guided prayer reflection here: https://www.dralisoncook.com/books/boundaries-for-your-soul Music by Andy Luiten  Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Episode 1. What is narcissism really?05 May 202200:41:30
You’ve heard the word narcissist, but what does it really mean? In this episode we’ll discuss:  1. What narcissism is— how it’s presented in the Bible and the criteria psychologists use to diagnose it  2. The difference between labeling people vs. naming behaviors  3. Different types of narcissism  4. What it feels like if you’re in a narcissistic relationship  5. How do I know that I’m not a narcissist?  6. The antidote to narcissism   Sign up to receive Dr. Cook’s weekly email at https://www.dralisoncook.com/books/boundaries-for-your-soul and receive 2 free e-books and a guided prayer reflection.  Music by Andy Luiten Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Welcome to The Best Of You!19 Apr 202200:02:43
Welcome to The Best Of You podcast with Dr. Alison Cook! This podcast will help you discover what brings out the best of you. It's about helping you break free from painful patterns, mend your past, and discover your true self in God. Dr. Alison Cook is a psychologist who has worked with people for over two decades. She is also an author and teacher at heart who loves taking complex topics and breaking them down into practical tools you can apply in your everyday life. She also specializes in bringing faith into psychology. Her work came out of her own faith journey and how she found that while she wanted to know God she needed to figure out a better relationship with herself. Dr. Alison Cook shares these tools with you and the things she has learned from her own story and her work with her clients so together we can learn how to become the people we really want to become.  You will learn about what it means to have a strong sense of self, why that work matters, and why that goes hand in hand with a strong faith in God. Other topics include relationships, codependency, boundaries issues, and toxicity. You will also hear episodes on emotions - loneliness, anger, and guilt and how to discover new ones like confidence, playfulness, and joy. You will learn how to find your own voice as you turn away from harm and  pull in the good things that you need so together we can envision the life and relationships we want with God's help. Episodes come out every Thursday and Dr. Alison Cook will invite some friends and other experts to share their stories too. She'll also be spending time answering your questions along the way. Join us Thursday, May 5th for the first episode! Follow Dr. Alison Cook on Instagram @dralisoncook! While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Episode 106: Transform Limiting Beliefs, Embrace Critical Thinking, & Navigate Holistic Health with Dr. Josh Axe06 Jun 202400:45:27
Have you wondered how a single negative comment can shape your beliefs about yourself? In this episode, we dive into the crucial distinction between critical thinking and limiting beliefs, exploring how they shape our decisions. My guest, Dr. Josh Axe, author of the New York Times bestselling book, Think This, Not That, shares his personal story of overcoming a powerful limiting belief and helping his mom navigate through cancer. He offers some powerful critiques of our current medical model, and some practical tips to navigate a more holistic way towards health. Do not miss this thought-provoking episode! Here’s what we cover: 1. The difference between critical thinking and limiting beliefs (2:52) 2. How one person’s negative comment created a limiting belief (9:11) 3. Josh's journey with his mom through cancer (13:51) 4. The negative effect of limiting beliefs (19:21) 5. An incisive critique of pharmaceutical ads in the U.S. (21:39) 6. How to balance natural & medical interventions (23:41) 7. The power of reverse-engineering your life based on your vision for the future (34:18) Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Related Episodes: Episode 103: Name, Frame, and Brave Gossip Episode 104: Overcoming the Fear of Vulnerability—Strategies to Stop Feeling Alone and Build Meaningful Connections Episode 105: 4 Lies We Tell, the Mental Health Benefits of Honesty, & How to Stop Lying In Your Relationships Episode 10: What are Limiting Beliefs and How Do I Overcome Them with Mary Marantz Thanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Get 40% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. Go to https://hensonshaving.com/bestofyou and enter BESTOFYOU at checkout to get 100 free blades with your purchase. (Note: you must add both the 100-blade pack and the razor for the discount to apply.) Whether you're exploring distant lands or enjoying a staycation at home, Cozy Earth has your back. Visit cozyearth.com and unlock an exclusive 35% off with code BESTOFYOU. Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Episode 105: 4 Lies We Tell, the Mental Health Benefits of Honesty, & How to Stop Lying In Your Relationships30 May 202400:49:16
Are you ever tempted to lie to spare someone’s feelings or avoid conflict? You're not alone. Research shows that most people tell at least one lie every day, even though honesty significantly benefits our relationships and mental health. In today’s episode, we explore the science and Biblical wisdom behind lying, and I'll share practical strategies to foster more honesty (spoiler alert: it involves setting boundaries!) in your relationships. Here's what we cover: How often do we lie? 4 mental health benefits of honesty 4 types of lies we tell The link between lying and boundaries 3 reasons why we lie The most important question to ask yourself about the lies you tell Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Related Episodes: Episode 103: Name, Frame, and Brave Gossip Episode 104: Overcoming the Fear of Vulnerability—Strategies to Stop Feeling Alone and Build Meaningful Connections Episode 20: Making Peace with Yourself (& Facing Your Fear of Disappointing Other People) Episode 72: Overcoming Failure, Handling Adversity, and Telling Yourself the Truth Thanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Go to https://hensonshaving.com/bestofyou and enter BESTOFYOU at checkout to get 100 free blades with your purchase. (Note: you must add both the 100-blade pack and the razor for the discount to apply.) Sign up for AromaTru's Insider Club today and you'll receive a FREE Waterless Oil Diffuser and a FREE lemon eucalyptus oil - that's over $200 in savings. Head to aromatruorganics.com/bestofyou to take advantage of this exclusive offer. Whether you're exploring distant lands or enjoying a staycation at home, Cozy Earth has your back. Visit cozyearth.com and unlock an exclusive 35% off with code BESTOFYOU. Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Episode 104: Overcoming the Fear of Vulnerability—Strategies to Stop Feeling Alone and Build Meaningful Connections23 May 202400:59:58
Have you ever felt isolated because you can't open up to others? Do you worry that showing vulnerability might lead to more hurt? You are in for such a special treat today. This is such an honest, incredibly real conversation about the risks of vulnerability, the hurts that come from letting others in AND the incredible opportunities for intimacy, connection, and healing when we do. My dear friends, Kathy Tuan-MacLean and Tara Edelschick, authors of the new Bible study experience, "Moms at the Well," surveyed over seven hundred moms and discovered most women struggle with worry, anger, comparison, escapism, a desire for control, and heartbreak. Yet most women feel alone in these struggles. If you've ever felt lonely or skeptical about finding community with other women, this episode is for you. Here's what we cover: * The dissonance we feel about vulnerability (2:21) * How 1 marriage crisis launched a 20 year small group (11:28) * 2 essential ingredients to safeguard trust (16:00) * How they dealt with gossip (21:50) * Strategies for dealing with hurt feelings, ruptures & repair (24:38) * One shocking result from their survey (34:43) * The strategy Alison used to find a friend when lonely (43:35) * The one thing that kills group trust (48:43) For 20% off + free shipping for Moms at the Well, use code IVPPOD20 here Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Related Episodes: Episode 103: Name, Frame, and Brave Gossip Episode 85: The Goal of a Healthy Family & 6 Roles We Take On In Dysfunction Episode 66: The Truth About Anxiety & How to Become a Worry Free Parent with Sissy Goff Episode 65: Vulnerability, Parenting, and Letting Go of Control—Inside A Guy’s Perspective With Our Friends From Dadville Thanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Get 40% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. Whether you're exploring distant lands or enjoying a staycation at home, Cozy Earth has your back. Visit cozyearth.com and unlock an exclusive 35% off with code BESTOFYOU. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Episode 103: Name, Frame, and Brave Gossip16 May 202400:45:46
We don't want to gossip, but most of us do it. What if gossip actually plays a deeper role in our lives and relationships? So often in life we bump into "grey areas," areas that can stir up dissonance inside of us. We hold certain beliefs or values, yet we find ourselves acting in ways that are contrary to those values. In this series, we're exploring some of these areas that can bring up dissonance inside. Our focus today is gossip. I explore the problems with gossip, as well as some of the surprising research on how it can be constructive. By examining both the positive and negative aspects of gossip, you'll feel empowered to name, frame, and brave a healthier understanding of gossip in your life and relationships. Why gossip is a gray area (3:09) What the Bible says about gossip (6:42) What psychology research says about gossip (12:46) 6 motivations behind gossip (13:43) Constructive vs. destructive forms of gossip (21:40) How to Name, Frame, and Brave gossip in your own life (29:17) Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Related Episodes: Episode 102: I Shouldn’t Feel Conflicted About God—How to Name, Frame, and Brave Complicated Emotions About Faith & God Episode 96: Signs of Emotional Immaturity & How to Bring Emotional Health Into Your Relationships Episode 89: When A Relationship Has to Change—How to Tolerate Discomfort, Face an Attachment Void, & Resource Yourself Thanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Go to AquaTru.com and enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout to get 20% OFF any AquaTru purifier! Whether you're exploring distant lands or enjoying a staycation at home, Cozy Earth has your back. Visit cozyearth.com and unlock an exclusive 35% off with code BESTOFYOU. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Episode 102: I Shouldn’t Feel Conflicted About God—How to Name, Frame, and Brave Complicated Emotions About Faith & God09 May 202400:45:46
Do you ever feel distant from God? Do you struggle with conflicting emotions or unanswered questions that make it hard to feel God's presence in your life? Today's episode brings the 🔥🔥🔥. I'm passionate about naming the false guilt and counterfeit messages that keep us from a vibrant relationship with God. So often we try to shove complicated feelings aside or manipulate ourselves into feeling what we think we “should” feel in our faith. It doesn't work. The good news is that as with any relationship, when you name and frame what you're feeling honestly, you invest in a deeper, more authentic relationship with God. Here’s what we cover… 1. The problem with spiritual bypassing (7:36) 2. 6 counterfeit messages we internalize about God (19:34) 3. 5 framing questions to help you transform those messages (24:23) 4. Specific examples of braving steps you can take in your spiritual life (26:51) 5. My personal experience with spiritual dissonance (31:44) Today's episode is based on an excerpt from Chapter 11 of I Shouldn't Feel This Way, available everywhere books are sold. Find a list of resources from this episode here. Bonus Episode: Aundi Kolber & Dr. Alison on Writing & Launching Books Thanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Head over to WildHealth.com/BESTOFYOU and use code BESTOFYOU at checkout for 20% off! Whether you're exploring distant lands or enjoying a staycation at home, Cozy Earth has your back. Visit cozyearth.com and unlock an exclusive 35% off with code BESTOFYOU. Get 40% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Bonus Episode: Aundi Kolber & Dr. Alison on Writing & Launching Books 07 May 202400:47:43
Happy Book Launch day! Today I Shouldn't Feel This Way is out in the world AND it's the two-year anniversary of The Best of You Podcast . To celebrate, I asked my friend, fellow therapist, and author, Aundi Kolber, to join me for a special bonus episode! Join us as we share insights into why we started writing, what we keep private vs. what we share publicly, and how to navigate the publishing industry. Pick up your copy of I Shouldn't Feel This Way today! Get Aundi's Strong Like Water Guided Journey today! Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Whether you're exploring distant lands or enjoying a staycation at home, Cozy Earth has your back. Visit cozyearth.com and unlock an exclusive 35% off with code BESTOFYOU. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Episode 101: I Shouldn’t Feel Angry—Exploring the Violence that Shapes Our Family Stories & How to Heal with Lisa Jo Baker02 May 202400:59:28
How do you navigate anger in your family? What do you do when a parent who was supposed to love you and keep you safe actually caused you harm? Families evoke such complicated emotions. You might feel angry and then guilty about that anger. You might feel a mixture of love and resentment. Today, we tackle family anger and generational trauma. My guest, Lisa-Jo Baker was a teenager when her mother died, leaving her alone with her father and his fierce temper. When she found herself exhibiting that same temper with her own son, she knew it was time to dig deeper. Her new memoir, It Wasn't Roaring, It Was Weeping, is a beautifully written, incredibly powerful story of the legacy of anger, violence, and generational trauma—and how one family healed. You do not want to miss this conversation. Here’s what we cover: 1. When a parent is both hero & villain (9:13) 2. The moment Lisa-Jo realized her father’s anger had become hers (15:43) 3. How she began to investigate her past (19:05) 4. A powerful metaphor for the scars of our families (31:31) 5. The risk of discussing your pain with your parents (35:07) 6. Self-righteous anger vs. wise anger (36:30) 7. What Lisa-Jo confronted about racism as a South African and an American (39:14) 8. Biblical wisdom for healing (51:41) Order It Wasn't Roaring It Was Weeping here Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Related Episodes: Episode 97: I Shouldn't Feel This Anxious—Insights on Trauma & Healing with Monique Koven Episode 98: I Shouldn’t Feel Alone in My Grief—Why Your Grief Matters & the #1 Most Important Support For Those Who Are Grieving Episode 99: I Shouldn’t Feel Like My Spirit is Broken—Exploring a Broken Spirit & the Dark Night of the Soul with Christopher Cook Episode 100: I Shouldn’t Feel Betrayed By Someone I Trust—How to Grieve, Breathe, & Receive in the Wake of Broken Trust with Steve Carter Thanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Go to AquaTru.com and enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout to get 20% OFF any AquaTru purifier! Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Whether you're exploring distant lands or enjoying a staycation at home, Cozy Earth has your back. Visit cozyearth.com and unlock an exclusive 35% off with code BESTOFYOU. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Episode 117: Healing in the Messy Middle—How to Transform Churches, Families, & Communities with Dr. Monique Gadson22 Aug 202400:52:44
Have you ever felt like you’ve grown and healed, but the people around you haven’t? In today’s episode, I’m joined by my friend and therapist, Dr. Monique Gadson, for a powerful conversation about how to ignite change not only within ourselves but also within the systems we're deeply connected to—whether that's our families, churches, or work environments. Here’s what we cover: 1. Dr. Monique’s insights from her work as a therapist within a church setting (8:06) 2. The difference between toxic cultures and imperfect human gatherings (17:00) 3. How kindness can sometimes hinder growth (29:07) 4. How to be "in" but not "of" a system (36:04) 5. The effects of culture-wide PTSD (38:35) 6. Practical ways to find and nurture hope (43:45) Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 33: People Pleasing & Developing Your Own Inner Compass—Thoughts on Depression, Mental Health & the Church, and Finding Hope in Dark Places w/ Dr. Monique Gadson Episode 60: How to Make New Friends, Identify Red & Green Flags, & Extract Yourself From an Unhealthy Situation w/ Aundi Kolber & Dr. Monique Gadson Episode 73: True Belonging vs. Groupthink, Cliques, & Trying to Fit In—How to Belong to Others While Staying True To Yourself Thanks to our sponsors: Register for the Broken to Beloved Conference here Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Go to AquaTru.com and enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout to get 20% OFF any AquaTru purifier! Head to airdoctorpro.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to receive UP TO 39% Get 40% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Visit cozyearth.com and unlock an exclusive 35% off with code BESTOFYOU. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Episode 100: I Shouldn’t Feel Betrayed By Someone I Trust—How to Grieve, Breathe, & Receive in the Wake of Broken Trust with Steve Carter25 Apr 202400:49:17
Have you ever felt betrayed by someone you thought you could trust? It's a deeply painful experience that can leave you questioning not only the betrayer but also your own judgment. Trust, once broken, seems almost impossible to rebuild. My guest today, Steve Carter, experienced a series of profound betrayals at a pivotal moment in his life. In 2018, amidst misconduct allegations against Bill Hybels, founder of Willow Creek Community Church, Steve made the difficult decision to step down from his role as a newly minted lead pastor—a position he once considered his dream job. Shortly thereafter, he faced yet another personal betrayal by his own parents. Reeling from the loss of his job, his dream, and his trust in those closest to him, Steve entered a desert season guided by three words he sensed God gave to him: Grieve. Breathe. Receive. Steve's journey through loss is so powerful, so honest, and so deeply healing. Please do not miss this conversation! Here’s what we cover: 2 essential ingredients for trust (12:40) Why grief is the antidote to cynicism (22:28) Confronting our attraction to patterns of narcissism (28:08) The anger high vs. the peace of forgiveness (36:25) How he hangs on to his love for the church (34:03) Purchase Grieve, Breathe, Receive by Steve Carter here. Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Related Episodes: Episode 97: I Shouldn't Feel This Anxious—Insights on Trauma & Healing with Monique Koven Episode 98: I Shouldn’t Feel Alone in My Grief—Why Your Grief Matters & the #1 Most Important Support For Those Who Are Grieving with J.S. Park Episode 99: I Shouldn’t Feel Like My Spirit is Broken—Exploring a Broken Spirit & the Dark Night of the Soul with Christopher Cook Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Head to factormeals.com/bestofyou50 and use code bestofyou50 to get 50% off! This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Make the switch and build a starter kit. 15% off AND free shipping when you buy a Notes starter kit at notescandle.com/bestofyou. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Episode 99: I Shouldn’t Feel Like My Spirit is Broken—Exploring a Broken Spirit & the Dark Night of the Soul with Christopher Cook18 Apr 202400:53:50
Do you ever feel like your spirit is broken? Do you feel like you can't put yourself back together despite your best efforts? Please do not miss this episode. My guest, Christopher Cook, has such powerful words about a broken spirit and how it’s different from (but related to) depression and burnout. We also dig into a real time discussion of the dark night of the soul. This conversation connected so many dots for me, and I cannot wait for you to hear it. Here’s what we cover: 1. The painful circumstances that nearly broke Christopher's spirit (7:00) 2. Recovering from survival mode (12:59) 3. What is a broken spirit? (15:32) 4. Chris’s experience of a dark night of the soul (25:07) 5. The true meaning of surrender (30:46) 6. How to support someone going through a dark night of the soul (41:12) Check out Healing What You Can't Erase by Christopher Cook Find a list of resources from this episode here. Related Episodes: Episode 77: The Dark Night of the Soul—Why It Happens & What It Means Episode 71: All About Therapy—Do I Need a Therapist, How Do I Find One, and What Type of Therapy Works Best? Episode 97: I Shouldn't Feel This Anxious—Insights on Trauma & Healing with Monique Koven Episode 98: I Shouldn’t Feel Alone in My Grief—Why Your Grief Matters & the #1 Most Important Support For Those Who Are Grieving Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Get 40% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. Head to factormeals.com/bestofyou50 and use code bestofyou50 to get 50% off! Go to AquaTru.com and enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout to get 20% OFF any AquaTru purifier! Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Make the switch and build a starter kit. 15% off AND free shipping when you buy a Notes starter kit at notescandle.com/bestofyou. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Episode 98: I Shouldn’t Feel Alone in My Grief—Why Your Grief Matters & How to Support Those Who Are Grieving with J.S. Park11 Apr 202400:54:49
What do you do when you're grieving? How do you support others through grief? Grief shows up in all of our lives—whether you’re grieving the loss of a person, a relationship, or a dream. We need each other to grieve well. It’s not something we were designed to do in isolation. My guest today, hospital chaplain, J.S. Park, is a powerful story teller and grief catcher. His viral posts about grief and death have revealed an incredibly important need. So many of us long to give voice to our grief in a culture that often rushes to push it aside. If you're feeling grief, or if you love someone who's grieving, please do not miss this episode. Here’s what we cover:  1. Why parts of us fear grief (5:20) 2. Why naming grief is so important (9:50) 3. How sitting with loss impacted Joon's faith (23:56) 4. The prayer Joon says before walking into a room (26:20) 5. The #1 thing you can do for someone after a loss (30:56) 6. How to set grief boundaries (36:40) 7. How to support someone who is grieving & what *not* to do (41:07) 8. The one word Joon wants for all of us (48:46) Order Joon's new book here. Find a list of resources from this episode here. Related Episode: Episode 97: I Shouldn't Feel This Anxious—Insights on Trauma & Healing with Monique Koven Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Make the switch and build a starter kit. 15% off AND free shipping when you buy a Notes starter kit at notescandle.com/bestofyou. Right now LMNT is offering a free sample pack with any purchase. The LMNT Sample Pack includes 1 packet of every flavor. This is the perfect offer for anyone interested in trying all of our flavors or who wants to introduce a friend to LMNT. Get yours at DrinkLMNT.com/BestofYou. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Episode 97: I Shouldn't Feel This Anxious—Insights on Trauma & Healing with Monique Koven04 Apr 202400:42:13
Today’s episode is just so special and so deeply personal. If you’ve experienced trauma, please listen. If you love someone, please listen. Trauma touches so many lives, and it’s so often misunderstood. In today’s episode, Monique Koven, host of The Healing Trauma podcast, shares her powerful story of healing from trauma. There is absolute gold in this episode for everyone. Here’s what we cover: 1. The anxiety response she couldn't "logic" herself out of (8:50) 2. How misdiagnosis caused further harm (10:39) 3. The role of anger in her healing (21:21) 4. Exactly how she began to heal the anxiety response she experienced (32:03) 5. Separating God out from hurtful church messages (24:15) 6. How Ann Voskamp’s work showed her an example of glimmers (34:36) 7. Monique’s profound word for you if you’ve experienced trauma (38:13) Find a list of resources from this episode here. Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here. Related Episodes: Episode 79: Surviving Trauma & A Path to Forgiveness—Finding God In the Hardest Parts of Your Story With Esau McCaulley Episode 15: C-PTSD—The Pain of A Million Paper Cuts Episode 4: What Do I Need To Know About Trauma? Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Go to AquaTru.com and enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout to get 20% OFF any AquaTru purifier! Get 40% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Make the switch and build a starter kit. 15% off AND free shipping when you buy a Notes starter kit at notescandle.com/bestofyou. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Episode 96: Signs of Emotional Immaturity & How to Bring Emotional Health Into Your Relationships28 Mar 202400:42:04
Do you walk on eggshells with someone you love? Do you sometimes feel like you can't have an honest conversation? Signs of emotional immaturity are everywhere. In today’s episode, we dive into the signs of emotional immaturity and its profound effect on our relationships. You'll learn the difference between emotionally mature and immature responses so that you can improve your connections. Here’s what we cover: 1. Why emotional immaturity is so prevalent & how it showed up in me! (6:15) 2. Examples of mature vs. immature emotional responses (10:43) 3. The difference between emotional immaturity and narcissism (21:44) 4. The role of enmeshment in emotional immaturity (29:41) 5. Tips for how to navigate a relationship with an emotionally immature person (35:33) 6. Tips for growing in emotional maturity (37:42) Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here. Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here. Related Episodes: Episode 1: What Is Narcissism Really? Episode 94: Should I Stay or Should I Walk Away? How to Discern When It’s Time to Leave with Emily P. Freeman Episode 95: 4 Toxic Behaviors You Need to Recognize & the #1 Way to Protect Yourself Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Go to goodranchers.com, pick your box, use my code BESTOFYOU, and enjoy $189 of free chicken in 2024 PLUS $20 off your first order. Head to factormeals.com/bestofyou50 and use code bestofyou50 to get 50% off! Right now LMNT is offering a free sample pack with any purchase. The LMNT Sample Pack includes 1 packet of every flavor. This is the perfect offer for anyone interested in trying all of our flavors or who wants to introduce a friend to LMNT. Get yours at DrinkLMNT.com/BestofYou. Head over to WildHealth.com/BESTOFYOU and use code BESTOFYOU at checkout for 20% off! Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Episode 95: 4 Toxic Behaviors You Need to Recognize & the #1 Way to Protect Yourself 21 Mar 202400:50:13
If you’re human, you’ve encountered some toxic behaviors. We all have. And it’s not wise to be naive about them. I’m passionate about helping you identify these toxic behaviors—not to label people, but to name behaviors accurately. When you understand the nature of toxic strategies, you can protect yourself and move toward health. Here’s what you’ll learn: 1. A mistake vs. a pattern of toxic behaviors (4:59) 2. The root of toxic behaviors (15:14) 3. Examples of healthy communication vs. manipulation (16:40) 4. Identifying guilt-driven love (22:03) 5. The difference between constructive feedback & criticism (25:48) 6. Examples of triangulation (31:32) 7. The #1 antidote against toxic behaviors (36:17) 8. Examples of word & action boundaries (39:04) Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here. Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here. Related Episodes: Episode 94: Should I Stay or Should I Walk Away? How to Discern When It’s Time to Leave with Emily P. Freeman Episode 1: What Is Narcissism Really? Episode 26: Types of "No" Part 2—How to Say "No" to Toxicity, The Real Meaning of Turn the Other Cheek & How to Form a Boundaries Committee Boundaries and the Bible Youtube Playlist Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Listen & subscribe to https://tinyurl.com/HeartOfDatingPodcast! Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Get 40% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. Make the switch and build a starter kit. 15% off AND free shipping when you buy a Notes starter kit at notescandle.com/bestofyou. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Episode 94: Should I Stay or Should I Walk Away? How to Discern When It’s Time to Leave with Emily P. Freeman14 Mar 202400:46:11
How do you decide when it’s time to leave a place or a relationship behind? We have to make decisions all the time. Yet most of us struggle with it. It’s hard to leave something (or someone) behind. It’s also hard to give ourselves the time that we need to wrestle with the decision. When you don’t have a process, you might be tempted to avoid decision-making. Or you might rush too quickly into a decision that isn’t quite right. That’s why I’m thrilled to have this conversation with Emily P. Freeman this week. It’s such a rich conversation about how to discern when it’s time to walk away and what to do when it's time to enter into a new space. Here’s what we cover: 1. The truth about tiny red flags (11:29) 2. 4 crucial questions to ask yourself (13:40) 3. What to do with those 51/49 decisions (20:13) 4. Readiness vs. timeliness in decision making (21:30) 5. Emily’s decision process for leaving a church (25:26) 6. How to walk into a new space (33:28) 7. A life-changing 2 word mantra for decision making (38:34) Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here. Related Episode: Episode 93: 3 Ways to Stop Guilt-Tripping Yourself, Untangle Complicated Emotions, & Discover the Joy of Clarity Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Right now LMNT is offering a free sample pack with any purchase. The LMNT Sample Pack includes 1 packet of every flavor. This is the perfect offer for anyone interested in trying all of our flavors or who wants to introduce a friend to LMNT. Get yours at DrinkLMNT.com/BestofYou. Go to goodranchers.com, pick your box, use my code BESTOFYOU, and enjoy $189 of free chicken in 2024 PLUS $20 off your first order. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Make the switch and build a starter kit. 15% off AND free shipping when you buy a Notes starter kit at notescandle.com/bestofyou. Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Episode 93: 3 Ways to Stop Guilt-Tripping Yourself, Untangle Complicated Emotions, & Discover the Joy of Clarity07 Mar 202400:42:12
Emotions are complicated. They're also beautiful. When you don't honor the complicated mix of fears, frustrations, and also the good things that you feel, you doubt yourself and you doubt other people. You deprive yourself of the opportunity to get real wisdom and to brave healthier solutions. Today we're diving into these complicated feelings together. Here's what we cover: 1. Why emotional complexity is a gift 2. Examples of how we guilt-trip & gaslight ourselves 3. How to locate emotions within a larger story 4. Real-life examples 5. The 3 most important guideposts to get started Preorder I Shouldn't Feel This Way! Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Related Episode: Episode 92: How to Honor Loss & Why It Matters With Rachel Marie Kang Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Ritual’s Essential for Women 18+ is a multivitamin you can actually trust. Get 40% off your first month for a limited time at ritual.com/BESTOFYOU. Get 40% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. Go to AquaTru.com and enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout to get 20% OFF any AquaTru purifier! Make the switch and build a starter kit. 15% off AND free shipping when you buy a Notes starter kit at notescandle.com/bestofyou. Get 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Episode 92: How to Honor Loss & Why It Matters With Rachel Marie Kang29 Feb 202400:53:12
We experience big and little losses all the time. A friend moves away. An opportunity passes you by. A relationship ends. Learning how to recognize and honor the losses we all experience can become a beautiful part of life, leading to more kindness, self-compassion, and connection. But we don't often talk about our losses, let alone how to honor them. That's why I loved this conversation with Rachel Marie Kang about creating space to honor loss. She is the author of the brand new book, The Matter of Little Losses, a beautiful journey through how to honor the big and little losses in your life. Here's what we cover: 1. The difference between loss and grief (2:09) 2. Different types of loss (7:22) 3. How we process loss as children (14:23) 4. Examples of “little” losses (22:46) 5. The most important way to parent kids through losses (31:04) 6. Rachel’s 3 steps for tending losses each day (35:25) 7. The thing we want most to help us through loss (39:59) 8. Why honoring loss brings hope (47:25) Get The Matter of Little Losses here. Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here. Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here. Related Episodes: Episode 90: Parenting Through Transitions—How Their Challenges Catalyze Your Growth Episode 91: Self-Worth–How to Believe You Are Enough & Transform Your Life with Jamie Kern Lima Episode 42: How to Honor Sadness, Set Boundaries with Loneliness, and What to Do When You Don’t Have Time for this Work Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Head to factormeals.com/bestofyou50 and use code bestofyou50 to get 50% off! Make the switch and build a starter kit. 15% off AND free shipping when you buy a Notes starter kit at notescandle.com/bestofyou. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Get 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Episode 91: Self-Worth–How to Believe You Are Enough & Transform Your Life with Jamie Kern Lima22 Feb 202400:40:54
Do you doubt yourself? Struggle to respect your own worth? Self-worth is foundational to both our psychological and our spiritual health, and today's episode is all about how to develop it. My guest, Jamie Kern Lima, is an entrepreneur, philanthropist, New York Times bestselling author, and founder of IT Cosmetics, a company she started in her living room and grew to the largest luxury makeup brand in the country. If you've ever struggled with self-doubt, this episode is for you. Here’s what we cover: 1. The 4 benefits of self-worth 2. The difference between self-worth and self-confidence 3. The moment Jamie realized she was believing a lie 4. Who are you really doubting? 5. The prayer Jamie prayed to combat God-doubt 6. Research on negative self-talk 7. How to reframe rejection Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here. Related Episode: Episode 29: Perfectionism and Proving Your Worth: How to Stop Chasing Approval and Start Living the Life You Actually Want Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Get 40% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Get 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Make the switch and build a starter kit. 15% off AND free shipping when you buy a Notes starter kit at notescandle.com/bestofyou. Music by Andy Luiten. Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Episode 116: Blended Families—How to Heal, Build, & Sustain a Healthy Family Through Grief, Loss, & Complicated Circumstances15 Aug 202400:53:36
Did you grow up in a blended family? Are you navigating the complexities of creating one? Blended families face unique challenges, and it can be overwhelming to sift through the stigmas and bad advice that often surround step-parenting. In today’s very personal episode, I’m joined by blended family expert Ron Deal. Together, we explore how step-families can become a powerful part of God’s redemptive story, offering healing and hope in the midst of grief, loss, and complicated circumstances. Today’s episode is filled with powerful tips for ANY family about how to become healthier. Here’s what we cover: 1. The two key ingredients to building and sustaining a healthy family (8:39) 2. Common sources of dysfunction in families and how to address them (11:32) 3. What the church often misunderstands about blended families and how we can shift the narrative (25:00) 4. The redemptive power of step-families in transforming pain into purpose. (36:53) 5. Empowering children to navigate change and loss with resilience (29:41) 6. Practical ways to honor grief within families and create a supportive environment (41:39) Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here. If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 85: The Goal of a Healthy Family & 6 Roles We Take On In Dysfunction Episode 12: Overcoming the Pain of Divorce with Eryn Eddy Thanks to our sponsors: Register for the upcoming Broken to Beloved conference! Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Head to airdoctorpro.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to receive UP TO 39%! Head over to WildHealth.com/BESTOFYOU and use code BESTOFYOU at checkout for 20% off! Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Visit cozyearth.com and unlock an exclusive 35% off with code BESTOFYOU. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Episode 90: Parenting Through Transitions—How Their Challenges Catalyze Your Growth15 Feb 202400:49:20
Navigating transitions with your children is a deep dive into raw emotions, facing conflict, and your own unhealed wounds. These transitions aren't easy. The stakes feel so high! But when you face them with courage, compassion and curiosity, you'll find your way through the wilderness and onto a beautiful path. As you do your own work, you'll be an even stronger anchor for your kids! Rowena Day is back to discuss: 1. How parenting changes our neural pathways (9:25) 2. Learning to set limits (12:17) 3. Parenting differently than how you were parented (22:10) 4. Growth vs. fixed mindset (29:29) 5. A better way to praise your kids (30:29) 6. The problem with peer attachments (36:40) 7. The ultimate goal of all this parenting work (45:47) Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here. Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here. Related Episodes: Episode 69: Your Future Self—8 Challenges to Resolve As You Become the Person You Were Meant to Be Episode 88: Navigating Transitions—What to Do When Change Stirs up Anxiety, Uncertainty, or Confusion Episode 89: When A Relationship Has to Change—How to Tolerate Discomfort, Face an Attachment Void, & Resource Yourself Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Head over to WildHealth.com/BESTOFYOU and use code BESTOFYOU at checkout for 20% off! Head to airdoctorpro.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to receive UP TO 39%! Go to goodranchers.com, pick your box, use my code BESTOFYOU, and enjoy $189 of free chicken in 2024 PLUS $20 off your first order. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Episode 89: When A Relationship Has to Change—How to Tolerate Discomfort, Face an Attachment Void, & Resource Yourself08 Feb 202400:47:00
We need attachments to other people, places, and to God. Yet transitions have a way of shaking up those attachments—even healthy ones! Today we’re talking all about how to balance our need to hold on to others - and also the need to let go. It takes skill and self-compassion to navigate these seasons of wrestling for more health, more connection, or more freedom. Here’s what we cover: 1. Healthy & unhealthy attachments (9:34) 2. The 2 competing relationship needs everyone has (21:45) 3. Attachment voids (28:12) 4. Practices to anchor yourself (33:50) 5. The role of liminal figures (40:08) Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here. Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here. Related Episodes: Episode 16: What are Attachment Styles and Why Does it Matter? Episode 88: Navigating Transitions—What to Do When Change Stirs up Anxiety, Uncertainty, or Confusion Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Go to AquaTru.com and enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout to get 20% OFF any AquaTru purifier! Ritual’s Essential for Women 18+ is a multivitamin you can actually trust. Get 40% off your first month for a limited time at ritual.com/BESTOFYOU. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp, Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Get 35% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Episode 88: Navigating Transitions—What to Do When Change Stirs up Anxiety, Uncertainty, or Confusion01 Feb 202400:47:22
What do you do when life feels disorienting or uncertain? Maybe a relationship ends, you change jobs, or your children no longer need you in the same way. Change is disorienting. We don’t always recognize the value in slowing down to process these in between places—when we’ve left something (or someone) behind but aren’t yet sure what the future is going to look like. This next series is all about navigating transitions. I've invited spiritual director, Rowena Day, on to discuss. . . 1. Normalizing liminal spaces (2:50) 2. Do we ever "arrive" at stability? (9:11) 3. Fascinating research on the pain of uncertainty (26:25) 4. The 3 stages of transitions (27:13) 5. The surprising value in endings (28:28) 6. How your body can become your ally (41:25) Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. Do you have questions for Dr. Alison?⁠ Leave them here. Want to receive free bonus content? ⁠⁠Sign up for my free weekly email here. Related Episodes: Episode 49: Personality, the Big Five Traits, and Why Are We So Obsessed With Personality Types? Other episodes with Rowena Day: Episode 31: Peace-Keeping, Anger Avoidance, and How to Start Using Your Voice Episode 44: Why Anger is a Surprising Friend, What Happens When You Avoid It, and How to Create Space for Healthy Expression of Anger in Your Family Episode 63: Spiritual Direction, the Power of Listening, & How to Attune to Yourself and to Others Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Go to goodranchers.com, pick your box, use my code BESTOFYOU, and enjoy $189 of free chicken in 2024 PLUS $20 off your first order. Get 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Make the switch and build a starter kit.  15% off AND free shipping when you buy a Notes starter kit at notescandle.com/bestofyou. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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