Retired Navy SEAL, Thom Shea. How to lead through the chaos of life's challenges. Authentic discussions about loss and success. What would life be like if you learned about the baseline formula for leading a full life?
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Stop watching other people. You will never get good while watching because your perspective is different. Get into living your life from your Point Of View.
280. What if you just stopped quitting when life gets hard?
Episode 280
Wednesday, September 27, 2023 • Duration 35:13
Erik Weir and Thom Shea talk about Unbreakable and Three Simple Things. And how to Transition from war to civilian life.
271. Erik Weir of TopGolf discuss SEAL training and success
Episode 271
Friday, May 12, 2023 • Duration 01:00:31
There are similarities in all success. Thom and Erik discuss hell week and combat and parallels in business and life.
Interview with Thom Shea, Adam La Reau and Mike Rice. Discussing leading during chaos, surviving isolation and building organizations based on health and fitness.
164. Diversity and inclusion equals unified action
Episode 164
Monday, March 9, 2020 • Duration 16:39
Many companies and leaders get this equation completely wrong!
I have to acknowledge upfront many of you will get twisted while listening to this podcast about diversity and inclusion. Clearly, not only the nation, but also the world misrepresents the true power of diversity and inclusion by no using the wording as an equation. Diversity as a stand-alone notion is cool and politically charged. But diversity is as nature as the air we breathe. Diversity is everywhere in nature and signifies nothing of value. Diversity happens without effort.
Inclusion is a hot topic everywhere across the planet and is both natural and exists in every species in every endeavor. Alas inclusion is so politically charged we seemed to now consider it rare and impossible. Inclusion is earned and often rewarded.
Taken separately, as both are now, instead of as a systematic way to succeed, both terms and topics used in a political nature and hammered with reprisal on industry create the unintended consequence of angry, lazy, soft, dysfunctional individuals. Individuals unable of calmly dealing with adversity. People lethargically sputtering through all endeavors. With age groups too vulnerable to quitting when they lose cellphone reception for 20 seconds. Worse, every individual person seems to be unsuited to working with anyone else. Diversity instead has created adverse conditions to thrive.
I get it, politicians and news media are trying to make a name for themselves and get caught up in trends and bend the trends into completely unusable items. Inclusion is a normal process that is earned and the best way to discuss inclusion is "you will eventually earn it in time and effort". Truth be told unless you prove or earn your seat at the table where your ideas and efforts may be included in the solution, you literally will kill the solution. Not everyone should be included just because.
Like I said diversity is nature. Put one person in a room and diversity doesn't exist. Put any two people in a room you have diversity of all kinds: background, education, ability, skills, capacity, and on and on. Diversity doesn't have to be forced, it happens. However, forced diversity is pre-mediated destruction of a team or organization. It never works it always implodes. Forcing percentages of races or sexes into a team or organization kills the outcome. Try putting a white male into a black female company and force them to integrate and see what happens. Try forcing a 16 year old (male or female of any race) into a position they haven't earned and force the team to work with them and see what happens. Before you do either action, call me and I will get a line of betting in Vegas because I can make some real money shorting your effort.
163. Complexity of Blockchain with Sam Rusani
Episode 163
Monday, March 2, 2020 • Duration 49:57
Sam Rusani is the Chief Revenue Officer at ShipChain, a blockchain based solution provider for the transport and logistics industry. After a successful $30 million raise in a week, they are now building a platform that will disrupt the multi trillion-dollar industry. As a serial entrepreneur, blockchain advocate/investor, and talent manager, Sam has worked with some of the biggest brands in the world, such as Sony, Fender, Virgin, Universal Music, Ogilvy, Heineken, VISA and Mercedes.
162. Success begins after you fail. Three Rule of success.
Episode 162
Monday, February 24, 2020 • Duration 15:56
The only differentiating factor of success is failure. Wait what? No one wants to fail. It makes no sense at all to put failure and success in the same sentence. No winning coach in any sports is willing to lose. No business owner wants to lose money or go bankrupt or lose people. No couple wants to get divorced, because that means failure. Yet all these fears and points of failure happen all the time. I can honestly tell you the truth, even though you will not want to hear it no matter your age…you will fail more than you will succeed.
That is downright depressing to hear and to consider but let me tell you a secret to success. What you do after you fail makes you successful. But you will fail none the less and a great many endeavors. Harden yourself and your mind and your family to that fact of life. Since that unalterable truth is the real constant of success, prepare to recover, prepare for multiple attempts, prepare for hard times.
Why do I lead off with such a low and depressing opening to the Unbreakable podcast? Because after 30 years of being a SEAL, or training with the top athletes in endurance sports, and training leaders in many fortune 500 companies the straight up truth is not depressing at all. The bottom produces more successful people than does avoiding failing altogether.
I can also say with years of research and clarity to back up the statement that avoiding failure causes enduring stagnation and long term depression and loss. And everyone knows that is true. Avoid conflict and avoid authentic conversation at home and that relationship is over in less time than it took to get it going. Risk averse businesses and leaders create terrible cultures to work within and summarily get less and less business. Athletes who avoid pushing their particular limits don't fail or lose like one would think, they just get bored and stop engaging in sport all together. The bones of the ones who avoid failure are everywhere.
So why is failure a positive statement and not so terribly depressing. Here is why? Failure teaches you truth. Truth is a good thing. Failure shows you without emotion exactly what is wrong and will show you how to correct it. Be eager to expose your weaknesses so that they can be solved and you can grow.
161. Respectiful Leadership with Gregg Ward
Episode 161
Monday, February 17, 2020 • Duration 47:05
Gregg Ward has worked with numerous Fortune 100 and 500 organizations, using his talents as a business speaker and skilled communicator, utilizing his leadership skills, emotional intelligence, communication skills, diversity, and inclusion to give business owners the knowledge and tools they need to advance their business in today's challenging corporate world. He is a best-selling author and speaker who has a goal of transforming lives in creating respectful organizational cultures.
160. Chaos in Washington
Episode 160
Sunday, February 9, 2020 • Duration 11:08
The past few weeks, no matter who you are in America have been unsettling. Businesses and leaders have watched the circus in the media and in Washington waiting for a sign or as I call "waiting for a light in the forest". The youth have watched adults make idiots of themselves and mom and dads every where have had to deal with the unsettling nature of what happens when adult supervision is absent in DC and the hell is causes on youth. Clearly "lord of the flies" is not just a book but a reality. I don't comment on politics or news taking one position or the other, I just find the a sense of gravity portrayed in DC to be unsettling to the youth trying to figure out where they fit in to the world. Often I wonder how so many adults rely on the news to determine who the are or what is possible. I often scratch my head when any adult relies on who is president or who is speaker of the house to determine their particular future or happiness. No adult should determine their future and their day to day actions on a presidential tweet or a ripping of paper after a speech. Life YOUR live and raise your kids to be fearless no matter the debacle of DC or of social media trends. There are great men and women out there truly unconcerned with who is running for office and who cares nothing about what the new trends are on social media. I am constantly search for "diamonds in the rough" and find so many who are above all this nonsense. I know a couple in Minnesota who love the land and the environment and love their fellow humans. I remark about this because they left the grind of Chicago to live off the bounties of the land and without electricity and have for 35 years. They know only love and passion and compassion. They judge no one but for what that person brings to the table. I know of a business leaders and multi millionaires who don't have a social media account even to this day because they select what information they want to process and select what types of people they associate with. And they are oddly not phased by the passed two weeks. You know why,because great people seek simplicity in the complex world around them. They certainly don't keep adding to the complexity of DC to throw them into a downward spiral regarding who is right and who is wrong. The don't seek more chaos they do however lead people through the chaos by making things they do real and valuable. But the whole process is still fun to watch for me because I have sick sense of humor. The DC shenanigans is hilarious every second yet is remarkable difficult to explain to our children when we just told the kids to be honest and strong and not to throw temper tantrums. But it is wicked fun to watch adults throw tantrums and hear my sons say dad that guy lies or that woman disrespected that adult. "Oh well, some adults are stupid son" is not a great parenting language. Personally I stopped being effected by trends or the DC shuffle after I led men in combat. I think many outside influences stopped after combat because combat is a teacher of truth. The truth combat teaches is life is short and the best things you can do is always be the best version of yourself no matter the circumstances. Combat also teaches that fear is completely the dumbest emotional response to any situation. Combat also shows that brotherhood is everything, look out for each other not just yourself. Combat also teaches the critical skill called relentless pursuit. Each of these great lessons from combat get obliterate when news and social media and lack of adult supervision supersede each lesson with some notion that the opposite lesson is actually true. Brotherhood of combat falls prey to racism and sexism. None of these were felt in combat because everyone was equal. No fear from combat is destroyed by watching one party project fear of another and the willingness to destroy each other out of fear. What surprises me most is the complete loss of that relentlessness to live and be better everyday that I felt in combat. I am surprised I can hardly find that level of "drive" in the blame culture of DC and the perpetual news cycle. You don't have to lose heart. We have solved the complex and made three simple things possible. I am eager to share the new book with you all and the have discussions with you once you read it. Jump on to amazon now and order three simple things: leading during chaos!
159. Intro to Three Simple Things: Leading During Chaos
Episode 159
Tuesday, February 4, 2020 • Duration 21:16
Three Simple Things is written in the manner of old story telling. Real stories told around a campfire, where people gathered to learn from the warriors and leaders of the tribe or village. The words are intended to be read as if you and I are next to each other talking frankly without political correctness. The stories are also meant to feel urgent and necessary. I ask you to integrate each chapter into your life.
We humans make our lives painfully complex. Relationships, which are fundamentally simple, now swim with complexity. The boring simplicity of being physically tough and in shape drowns in a swamp of exciting complex and lazy actions. The pursuit of wealth evolved away from simple work and simple teamwork to a virtual devaluing of hard work into hacks and overindulging actions that have no value. The simple act of learning is now mired in politics and debt. Spiritually, we are void of meaning to the point a simple prayer or meditation signifies depression and loss of soul.
There are five areas in each of your lives that demand simplicity and abhor complexity: Spiritual, Relationship, Wealth, Physical, and Intellectual. To win, you need only do Three Simple Things in each. Success is simple, but not easy!
Achieving a 6-hour baseline during our day-to-day lives may be the most important objective we have. I have spent my adult life, as a Navy SEAL, developing and honing the only five measurable areas of life as the baseline for sustained growth: physical health, structured learning, wealth creation, meaningful relationships, and spiritual connections. Over the past 6 years, I have trained leaders and athletes and coaches in order to produce a baseline of three simple things in their lives, so that they lead teams or companies toward success. The process is rather straightforward; the various methods are definable and clear. The effort is simple, but not easy. As you learn the process and method, you will achieve measurable outcomes by just maintaining the baseline. The maintenance of the baseline is non-negotiable.
Thom Shea, 207
I have witnessed forced diversity for 30 years in the SEAL teams and in business and have never seen it work ever. Not ever!
I have been on some of the best functional teams in the history of war and history of human kind. None of them force diversity, but instead allow diversity to happen. And trust me diversity in the SEAL teams is natural and necessary. But is never forced. Functional teams allow of any type of person to earn their way on the team. Functional teams demand diverse ideas and diverse experiences and never force a diverse perspective or person into the team just because.
One mind, one thought, one race, one species, one sex never lasts very long and is very destructive. Forcing different minds is equally destructive. Forcing me to think like you will cause me to have a bad day as it will you. Forcing races together is horrific. Forcing, for some political up-righteous idea, diversity at any level causes adversity. Adversity is good for politics but bad for business and humans.
However, let's consider earning at seat at the table as the primary means to succeed and grow both as an individual or a company.
Imagine 20 people at the decision table. Let me tell you their backgrounds make no difference. The only thing that matters is they earned the right to be there through actions and decisions made prior to being there. The initial stage of decision making is diverse ideas. Further imagine a topic or goal is put on the table and each person puts their idea or notion on the table. Each person gets a chance, they are included.
Yet here lies the undiscovered truth many find hard to adapt to. In high functioning teams everyone is included. All ideas are allowed to be heard. To leave the table and take action only one direction is chosen. Your opinion, your diversity, your singularity does matter up until action is required. Once you move you all must move together in one direction. That is the major issue with the current politically charged diversity and inclusion … no one can unify and move forward as a team. Johnny wants to go left and feels like no one listen. Mary wants to wear something that is important to here but makes no difference or is of danger to the effort. Or one group has decided the direction is good bad or against their upbringing and nothing gets moved down the road effectively.
Since the 1940s SEALs have allowed anyone in who could earn their way. It works. Every mission takes into account everyone's ideas and the most effective one is selected. And more to the point even when a bad choice is made or one that just doesn't have enough details is made everyone unites and supports it with 100% of their commitment and skills. No one goes off and does their own thing once a decision is made. And everyone supports each other. Diversity + Inclusion = Unified action.
You cannot force any of it. You cannot even force unity you have to earn that too by failure to unite under one cause.
Earning diversity is hard because success doesn't care if you are white, black, brown or purple. Just that you do what it takes to succeed. Earning the right to be included is what causes success. Your unearned opinion has no value. Success cares nothing about your opinion just that you do what it takes often in spite of your point of view. To really succeed you need harmonious, synchronized actions. Even a single individually trying to synchronize his or her own activities is hard. But success demands it. Unifying a group of individuals is very hard and is not possible if everyone was forced there and every individual direction will be taken.
I feel sorry for the youth who are caught up in the politically charged diversity for diversity sake and the forced inclusion just because someone said it was a right. Failure looks for forced, unearned righteous efforts. Don't you fall prey to forced diversity and force inclusion. Earn your way to the table so that you unify your actions with a team.
I knew that was the truth in the SEAL teams because the training is build on failure and pressure and risk and getting up again and again. What I didn't know until I was retired and training professional athletes and leaders in business is that each of them also based their own successes of failures and starting over and getting up one more time. I find that trait to be the only universal truth to every successful person I have ever met.
Let me be clear. Desire and enthusiasm and clarity of vision and purpose last until the first attempt fails. In the SEAL teams the saying was no plan last past first contact with the enemy or I would always say you can wipe your ass with the mission order because the enemy may have something to say about it.
Point being not to just wing it and forgo planning and practice and details, but instead keep planning keep adapting, keeping stumbling and getting back on track no matter how long or how much energy the loss sucks out of you.
In the business space two phrases that showcase failure and starting over are "the culture of growth" and "the boss is a glorified janitor". The culture of growth means lead by example, specific target markets not generalized markets, always training and growing, and Lean systems. The boss is a glorified janitor means a good boss is always cleaning up messes. If the boss isn't cleaning up failures and messes of employees than no one is pushing the limits. A bored boss who thinks he or she has a great company because no one ever makes mistakes needs to take a hard look at what is really going on.
In health and sports there are two phrases that stand out: Embrace the suck, and, pain is the friend to the victor and the enemy of the loser. In the SEAL teams as you all have heard the phrase is "the only easy day was yesterday". It is easy because it is over and today and tomorrow will not be easy. Embrace the suck means you understand that to win or to make it to the end many experiences will suck and be frustrating and you will be set back. Embrace it and look forward to the suck is the key. Pain is the friend to the victor means pain is inevitable therefore suffering is option. Don't opt for suffering that means you didn't want to feel what you felt. I want you to imagine getting punched in the face in the first round so hard your kids back home felt it, then I want you to imagine getting back up and fighting harder even when you jaw is broken. Because that is what it takes. I want you to imagine running 100 mile ultra marathon and feeling the pain in your feet or knees at level 11 on a 10 scale and puking for the last 10 miles because that is often what it takes. Why fail to succeed? Because what you want to happen can actually happen if you deal with the failures.
In relationships failure is common not because relationships are meant to be or the one you are with is the wrong one, but more to the point relationships are hard because two people are constantly changing and growing in life and that is the truth. Every skin cells changes out in 24 hours. Muscles cells change in about a month and oddly nerve cells change every 7 years. There is a reality behind the 7 year itch people often speak of in relationships because no one is the same person they were 7 years ago. Failure in relationship means never adapting and changing and evolving. Expectations in relationship to be the same lead to divorce or separation or worse staying together on paper but never being new with that person. I would never have thought that the one aspect in leadership training would be to ensure the leader has a great home life. But the predominate point in leader development, which leads to business growth is the power and growth of the key relationship at home. If you want to turn a company around train the leader to grow and secure the home front every week. Fail at home and business gets so stale that a new leader can come in and turn around the failing business in one year. Simply because the home life of the old leader was bad. That bad home life is surrounded by fear of loss and fear of divorce and it happens anyway because people don't start over at home where it counts.
Success then really isn't that hard. It starts with "honor your word" and "never give up". You can do that can't you? After that fun start you must realize it takes multiple times and countless iterations until you get on first base. You have to embrace the notion you will fall many times. You may break bones or go bankrupt or make a terrible mistake in a marriage or as a parent. Stay with it one more time. Learn from the failure and never do it again and start over.
Fail to succeed
Rule number one:
It takes 21 days straight to decide if something new has merit. Meaning never make a decision about something new until you have done that thing for 21 days straight.
Rule number two:
It takes 10,000 iterations or practice events to ensure that thing is muscle memory or to call yourself good at it. Meaning don't expect results until you have checked the box 10,000 times.
Rule number three:
I like this rule it is the simplest to understand yet the hardest to do. It is much easier to do 21 days and 10,000 tries. The rule is: take one more step or try again no matter what.
Success in everything follows those three rules. Three simple things.
Print out those rules put them in your office or on the refrigerator or in your team room.
To my children:
Three Simple Things is for you! The older I get the more I realize the limited time I have to prepare you for life. My deepest wish is to pass on everything I have learned in my life to add some measurable value to yours. Many of my SEAL brothers did not return home from war. Many who did return are injured, many have post-traumatic stress; many have brain injuries and cannot pass on to their families the vast knowledge and experiences acquired in their lives. Read these reflections so all the combined knowledge will be useful to you. I write this as if I was sitting and talking to you with no pretenses or formality, yet with urgency.
To the readers I have never met:
I am a fan of the human experience of growth and have spent 50 years thriving in the chaos of war and the chaos of everyday life. We all have vast stores of experiences and knowledge we want to pass on to friends, family, and others. Thank you for your willingness to absorb my experiences and your desire to breakthrough your own chaos to find "Three Simple Things" in your own life.
If you are interested in sustained, high level performance in the five measurable areas of your life, called pyramids, then the processes and methods I will describe are for you? If you are only interested in comfort; only excited about one pyramid; or, only want to learn a short-term hack, then this is not for you? We humans have arrived at the most abundant time for wealth creation; the deepest pools of opportunity to achieve physical goals; the furthest capacity to learn; the most profound ways to relate to each other; and the clearest sense of spiritual connections in our evolution. When you are interested in tangible success, Three Simple Things is for you!
Any of us willing to put in to practice the fundamentals of learning, practicing, and maintaining a baseline will achieve levels of performance far beyond what we now think possible. Like all great endeavors all you need do is commit. Commit before you know the end result. Commit without the notion that you can exit when it gets chaotic. Commit because without commitment nothing measurable is possible. Once you are committed, then there is just "work" to do. During the process of working on the 6-hour baseline, don't give up on yourself. Quitting or giving up has no place in this life. Quitting has killed more marriages, cut short more athletic endeavors, caused more business failures, and always separates each of us from divine access.
The baseline is not about balance. For some strange reason there is a movement to balance life. Balance in any sense literally means, taking bits from one and putting into another or even getting rid of those bits to have balance. Time cannot be balanced, energy cannot be balanced, and, life or passion cannot be balanced. The pursuit of balance always leads to the inevitable conclusion where you have to avoid one thing to have another; and at the extreme part of balance is the notion that stress is bad and to avoid stress. The absence of stress will destroy you. Embrace stress and stop negotiating with what matters and doesn't matter. Instead I offer a non-negotiable life!
You can live in a bubble with no gravity, with no negative stimuli, which is where the pursuit of balance will take you. In the bubble after a short time your body will deteriorate and so will your ability to think. You will never find balance; the notion is folly and simply a sales pitch from a scared child who has quit on their life.
I offer a simple truth: do three simple things in the five pyramids of performance and carve out six, non-negotiable, hours and activity a day as the foundation for truly living life. You will not balance time to achieve the baseline; nor will you give up one category for another. You will literally create a baseline to think and grow. From the 6-hour baseline, I have seen men and women run ultra-marathons, grow their wealth by 2x in a year, turn around a failing marriage, and start a new life and thrive.
For the past 6 years of sustaining my own 6-hour baseline while training and witnessing my clients struggle through a life of not having the non-negotiable baseline, but instead overweighting one pyramid while destroying the other 4 areas of life, I am very clear the value of sharing the process and method with you. I noticed businessmen and women work a 12-hour day and produce millions while neglecting family and health. I witnessed great athletes training for 7 hours a day and produce number one status while excluding relationships and lacking the ability to find a dollar in a bank. I have seen parents spend up to 6 hours a day shuttling kids around while giving up their own health and ambitions. Negotiating with life, always adjusting to the changes without having a non-negotiable baseline causes epic long-term failures. The baseline will allow you to achieve much more in each of the five pyramids.
Shocking as that may seem to you, the conditions I just described are found everywhere in our society. The new norm as it seems always ends badly. But everyone seems to be on this railroad leading to a cliff of destruction. And, trust me, the cliff where the train falls off going full speed was happening for every successful executive, every top athlete, and seemingly every marriage.
The executives literally worked with the thought process to build a business to make money to support their family and lifestyle. Twelve-hour workdays, as I began to notice, were killing the family because there was no family time or activity. The extreme focus on work excluded health and created a horrible eating, sleeping, and activity cycles. As I continued to notice over time what was occurring in this over weighted life paradigm, the inevitable outcomes of running the train off the cliff became predictable.
At some point in time the leader would give up half of the income to the spouse. Divorce cuts income by half, let's not quibble. After all those hours, all those years, of working a 12-hour day the money would be cut in half not to mention the exhausting process of a divorce. It was predictable. After two years of seeing all the indicators and developing a series of questions, I began to realize I could even "short the market" and bet against the companies' success simply because the boss's, male or female, work to family life ratio was off.
The most disturbing aspect of the over worked leader became deadly clear looking at the lack of any tangible commitment to physical health. I will describe later the details, however, neglect in physical health didn't lead to going over a cliff, but it led straight into a brick wall. The twelve-hour normal workday eventually kills the leader. Yes, they die or get so sick they can no longer work, or, die within two years of retiring. As it were, they were losing everything at the end. Leaving a trust for the kids seemed to be the norm because most had a trust fund set up by 50 and knew they were sick and not doing well. The scary part is everyone was doing this. We all seemed to be in a rat race no one could avoid or get off of the flywheel.
The leaders and top performers had negotiated themselves out of sustainable performance in the five pyramids. More of one pyramid is alluring. Being number one is too. Yet, without a baseline, without the rest of your life being on-point none of the accumulation of stuff is sustainable. The 6-hour baseline of doing three simple, non-negotiable things in each of the five pyramids of life literally make success easier and much more sustainable. The rest of the book is stories about the detailed processes and methods to follow in order to set up and maintain a 6-hour baseline.
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