In this week's episode of The Autism Mums Podcast we're talking about ways to look after yourself when your child is having a tough day.

How supporting our children with their emotions can leave us feeling completely drained.

Common mistakes we’ve made when trying to "push through" a tough day.

Simple ways we try to carve out moments of calm: meditation, breathing space, and gentle resets.

How creating a comforting environment - with blankets, candles, soft music - can make a difference.

Allowing yourself to cancel non-essential tasks or meetings when you need breathing space.

The power of talking it out with someone who truly understands.

Finding and building a supportive community around you.

The importance of zoning out, resting, and knowing that tomorrow is a new day.

Gabby Bernstein’s Meditation App

https://theautismmums.com/

Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums

Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums

In this week's episode of The Autism Mums Podcast we talk about the practical ways we can help our autistic children with daily life.

We’re sharing some of the things that have helped us make daily life a bit easier with our autistic children. From using timers and visual timetables to experimenting with tooth brushes and finding softer clothing.

These are ideas that have worked for us, they might help you too, or simply offer reassurance that you’re not alone on this journey.

Timers and visual supports can help ease transitions by giving your child a sense of control and predictability.

Choosing soft, seamless clothing may make a difference for children who find layers uncomfortable.

Toothbrushing challenges might be eased by trying different tools like U-shaped or triple-angled toothbrushes.

Flexibility is key - what works one day might not work the next, and that’s okay.

Planning days out in advance with visual itineraries can reduce anxiety about what's coming next.

Noise sensitivity might be supported by using ear defenders, earbuds, or listening to favourite music.

Strong smells can sometimes be managed with things like balaclavas or carrying scents like orange oil to mask overwhelming smells.

Having a sensory kit (with familiar snacks, toys, and calming tools) may offer comfort when you're out and about.

Here are some of the tools and resources discussed in this episode:

• Visual timers
• Laminated visual timetables
• Seamless/sensory-friendly clothing
• U-shaped toothbrush and triple-angled toothbrush
• Ear defenders
• Bach's Rescue Remedy
• Orange Essential Oil
• Tiger balm
• The Early Bird course by the National Autistic Society
• Stretchy resistance bands for calming sensory feedback

https://theautismmums.com/

Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums

Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums

In this week's episode of The Autism Mums Podcast we’re talking about the journey to getting an EHCP - what it is, why it matters, and what the process looked like for our families.

We’ll share the lessons we learned along the way with the hope that it helps you navigate the process and feel a little more prepared.

An EHCP can provide vital, legally binding support

You don't need a formal diagnosis to apply for an EHCP

Schools may not always initiate an EHCP request. If they don't parents can.

Timelines and deadlines are crucial - keep a track of key dates.

Support groups, SENDIASS and organisations like IPSEA can provide guidance and practical help.

The right provision can make a huge difference to your child's wellbeing.

SENDIASS (Special Educational Needs and Disability Information Advice and Support Services)

IPSEA (Independent Provider of Special Education Advice) — ipsea.org.uk

EarlyBird course (National Autistic Society support programme for parents)

https://theautismmums.com/

Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums

Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums

In this week's episode of The Autism Mums Podcast Victoria opens up about her son's journey to an autism diagnosis. From the early signs that were missed, to the struggles at school, to the moment the diagnosis finally came.

Autism signs can often be masked or misunderstood, especially in young children.

Building a support network of other parents is crucial.

Professionals may miss signs too, trusting your instincts matters.

The diagnosis process can feel long and isolating, but community support makes a difference.

Receiving a diagnosis is often a moment of both relief and grief and that's OK.

The Early Birds Course (National Autistic Society)

ASDivas and Dudes Support Group

The Girl with the Curly Hair by Alis Rowe

The Complete Guide to Asperger’s Syndrome by Tony Attwood

TADDS Outreach Team

Total Children's Therapy

ADOS-2 Autism Diagnostic Observation Schedule

CAMHS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services)

https://theautismmums.com/

Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums

Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums

In this week's episode of The Autism Mums Podcast we dive deep into one of the most emotional milestones for parents: the journey toward an autism diagnosis. We share Natalie's story with her son, from the first signs that something was wrong at nursery to the long road of assessments and support.

Early signs aren't always obvious: It's common to realize things only in hindsight.

Not all settings impact children the same way: Different environments can highlight or mask challenges.

The path to diagnosis is often long: Waiting times can be frustrating, but support exists even before official diagnoses.

Grief is a natural part of acceptance: It's okay to mourn the loss of expectations while embracing a new, beautiful reality.

Practical support makes a difference: Courses like EarlyBirds offer real-world tools tailored for neurodivergent children.

EarlyBirds Programme by the National Autistic Society

https://theautismmums.com/

Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums

Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums

Welcome to The Autism Mums Podcast — a space created for parents and carers navigating life with autistic children.

We’re your hosts, Victoria and Natalie — two sisters raising autistic children ourselves. We understand the joys, the challenges, and the thousand tiny moments that no one else quite gets.

In this podcast, we’ll bring you:

• Real talk about everyday life
• Shared strength from a supportive community
• Expert insights to guide your journey

You’ll hear honest conversations, practical tips, mini solo moments, and chats with professionals who understand autism parenting from the inside out.

Whether you’re celebrating a win, managing a meltdown, or simply getting through the day — you’re not alone.

We see you, and we’re walking this path with you.

🎧 Subscribe now and join us each week for new episodes.

✨ Follow us for updates:

Website - https://theautismmums.com/

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums

Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums

In this week's episode of The Autism Mums Podcast, Victoria and Natalie dive into the unique challenges of raising a child with a PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance) profile. They share personal stories, strategies, and reflections to help parents and caregivers better understand and support their children navigating PDA-related behaviors.

• PDA is driven by anxiety and a need for control; traditional demands can trigger refusal.
• Offering controlled choices helps reduce pressure and gives children a sense of agency.
• Visual schedules and plenty of preparation help ease transitions and reduce stress.
• Managing your own calm and letting go of nonessential demands are important for low-demand parenting.
• It’s okay to adjust family routines to what works for your child, even if it looks different from your original parenting ideals.
• Misunderstandings from others can be painful but focusing on your child’s needs is what matters most.

PDA Society

Dr. Naomi Fisher webinars and resources

https://theautismmums.com/

Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums

Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums

In this week's episode of The Autism Mums Podcast we welcome Carl Draper, student mental health nurse, award-winning photographer and father to Bodhi, an autistic child with a powerful story.

Carl opens up about the early signs of autism in his son, facing expulsion from nursery on day one and the intense stress of parenting a non-verbal child with little sleep or support.

He shares how a pivotal moment with his camera led to a personal breakthrough.

Carl Draper was born in a North Nottinghamshire mining village and moved to Bournemouth at 19, where he served as a beach lifeguard and discovered his love for surfing. Accepted into the Royal Marines, his plans changed after a serious leg injury during a heroic rescue, an event that earned him a Local Hero Award and a feature on BBC’s 999 Rescue. He later became RNLI head trainer for lifeguards across Dorset, then served over a decade with Dorset Ambulance Service. Shifting to education, he trained firefighters and police nationwide before retraining as a mental health nurse. Carl is currently studying at Bournemouth University. In 2015, he founded Waveslider, winning the Bournemouth Tourism Award in 2017, and began documenting life with his son Bodhi in 2020.

Trust Your Instincts - Parents often notice signs before professionals do. If something feels off, it’s okay to seek answers and push for support.

Environment Shapes Experience - The right setting and supportive people can help a child thrive.

Diagnosis is a Beginning, Not an End - Receiving a diagnosis can bring clarity, but also grief and uncertainty. It marks the start of a new chapter, not the end of a story.

Regulation Starts With Us - Emotional regulation in ourselves is often needed when supporting a child with complex needs. We can’t pour from an empty cup.

Creativity is Healing - Photography can offer a way to pause, reflect and process life. Creative outlets are powerful tools for emotional resilience and self-regulation

Assistance Dogs can offer deep connection, comfort, and safety to children with additional needs.

Advocacy Requires Persistence - Navigating the SEND system often involves battles, persistence and support.

CAMHS / ID CAMHS – Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services, including services for children with intellectual disabilities

Von Kebles – The training center supporting Frank, Bodhi’s assistance dog

Follow Carl's journey with his son Bodhi on the Waverslider Photography Facebook Page

Follow Carl on Instagram

https://theautismmums.com/

Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums

Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums

Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums

[00:00:00] Hello and welcome to

the Autism Mums podcast. I'm Victoria. And I'm Natalie. We are two sisters

raising autistic children who know the joy, the challenges, and the everyday

moments. This is a supportive space for honest conversations, practical tips,

shared strength and expert advice. Whether you are celebrating a win, surviving

a meltdown, or just trying to make it through the day, we are right here with

you. Join us as we share the ups, the downs, and everything in between parenting autistic children.

Victoria Bennion:

Today, we're pleased to welcome to the podcast student Mental Health nurse Carl

Draper. Carl founded Wave Slider Photography in 2015, which won the Bournemouth

Tourism Award in 2017. Since 2020, Carl has been documenting his life with his

autistic son Bodhi through his stunning photography.

 Welcome to the podcast, Carl. It's great to have you with us today.

Natalie Tealdi: Can you [00:01:00] share a bit about your

background and how it has shaped your parenting journey with Bodhi?

Carl Draper: Bodhi was born in 2017. By the time he was five, six months, we were convinced that Bodhi was autistic. He never made eye contact. He was just in his own little

world and he was silent. So there were, there were strong signs. I think the

health visitors and other people at the time, they were saying, oh, he is just

sure of himself and he's confident, but he, you know, there was zero eye

contact. It was almost like he'd intentionally wouldn't make eye

contact, which is quite strange for a baby of that age. It was that. It was

that strong and obvious. By the time he was two, he was completely silent. So

we were, more sure then that, that this was autism, that we were dealing with,

and this was gonna be a different kind of journey from a parenting

perspective..

Victoria Bennion: Did Bodhi go to nursery?

Carl Draper: His very first nursery he went to [00:02:00] was a

Montessori nursery, and he was expelled on day one, which is quite an

achievement for a 2-year-old you know, the social norms were expected that

you'd come in and sit at the table and kind of join in where he was just, he

was just constantly off.

Doing his own little thing in his own little bubble. Completely silent, no eye contact. So you were, you were just following him, containing him and, and trying to engage. So we picked him up at lunchtime and he was, he was in a complete state. The lady, who we picked him up from, she looked like she'd been dragged through her hedge backwards.

She was completely disheveled, completely stressed, and we never know until the day what happened there that day. But the one thing we have learned throughout our journey with Bodhi and the autism parenting, is that nothing impacts a child more than the behavior of those around him. And we are convinced that something happened there that [00:03:00]

day. We don't know what it was, but , it took days and days to settle him down. He was, completely devastated. So then we found another nursery for him. They were much better. It was a bigger class and it was more along the lines of, of play, nursery play rather than sit down at a table and learn to read and write.

So he, settled in there. More so because of the people that were looking after him. They were brilliant. And they helped the journey start,, with the referrals to the hospital. Poole, hospital for the autism diagnosis,

Victoria Bennion: Can you talk us through the autism diagnosis process that you went through with Bodhi?

Carl Draper: There was a doctor, speech and language therapist and an occupational therapist, and they had an outdoor playground, an indoor playroom, and a separate room with. Four chairs. And what they did is two of them would spend half an hour with

Bodhi. One of them would spend half an hour with us and they rotated around. There was two of everything toys wise. And we did say to them on the way through the door, be careful [00:04:00] with the digital key code because Bodhi had a thing for cracking codes. At the

time, you know, they, they kind of didn't believe us and said, you know, we're fine. We're used to this. Within five minutes he was out the building

Victoria Bennion: Oh my goodness.

Carl Draper: Yeah, they were off down the corridor chasing him.

Natalie Tealdi: Wow.

Carl Draper: He's got this strange ability where he doesn't remember, he doesn't fiddle around trying to figure it out. He just punches it in. It's like he almost knows it. And, uh, he, he was off, he was gone. We spent an hour and a half, two hours there, and they had a bit of a con flab debrief after, and he was diagnosed there.

And then, and I think that was the beginning of the stress from that parenting side because we were asking the questions that, I suppose everybody asking that scenario, when is he gonna speak? When are we gonna hear his voice? What comes next? And so we kind left. Left. Really? Then how do you learn to hear a child who doesn't speak?

There's no YouTube tutorial. There's no book. So [00:05:00] then we'd, you know, do the research and we didn't find any answers. So we started doing everything with pictures and

videos. We'd take videos of everything from putting your shoes on to going in the bath to go into the toilet. And that's, where it began.

Victoria Bennion:

What were some of your greatest challenges around this time?

Carl Draper: Car journeys were probably the worst at that time. He would try and get out the car while we were moving because again, he's not...

In this week's episode of The Autism Mums Podcast Victoria and Natalie dive in to the topic of anxiety in autistic children.

Drawing from their personal experiences as mums of autistic boys, they explore the many ways anxiety can present itself - from meltdowns and shutdowns to avoidance, ritualistic behaviour, physical symptoms, and anger.

They offer a compassionate look at how anxiety impacts daily life and what has helped their children feel more supported and secure.

Whether you're early on in your autism journey or navigating school-age challenges, this episode offers reassurance, relatable stories, and real-world strategies that can make a difference.

Anxiety presents differently in autistic children: It might show up as shutdowns, meltdowns, repetitive questions, anger, or even physical symptoms like tummy aches.

Avoidance can be common: Children may retreat to their rooms or refuse to go places when overwhelmed.

Sensory overload can be a major trigger: Noisy environments, bright lights, and even scratchy clothing can heighten anxiety.

Routine changes, even positive ones, can be stressful: Children may want changes, but still struggle when they occur.

Social unpredictability can add pressure: Not knowing who will be present or what will happen in social settings can create discomfort.

Masking and perfectionism can lead to burnout and chronic anxiety.

Support strategies matter: Ear defenders, visual timetables, sensory tools, role play, and validating feelings can help.

Validation and patience are key: Simply saying 'I hear you' can help children feel safe and understood.

Mindfulness sessions – Supportive techniques that help children become aware of how anxiety feels in their bodies.

https://www.mindful.org/mindfulness-for-kids/

Visual timetables and planners – Visual supports that help prepare autistic children for transitions and daily routines.

Example resources: Twinkl Visual Timetables

Noise-cancelling headphones and sunglasses

Edz Kidz Ear Defenders

Breathing exercises for children

https://copingskillsforkids.com/deep-breathing-exercises-for-kids

BBC Documentary – Inside Our Autistic Minds by Chris Packham

Watch here: BBC iPlayer – Inside Our Autistic Minds

Harry Potter Studio Tour (UK)

Mentioned as an example of a venue with quiet spaces and autism-friendly accommodations.

Accessibility info https://www.wbstudiotour.co.uk/additional-needs/

https://theautismmums.com/

Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums

Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums

In this week's episode of The Autism Mums Podcast we welcome Whitney Price, founder of Unpuzzled Parents Connect, to the show. Whitney shares the emotional and financial struggles she and her husband faced navigating early signs of autism with their son, Connor, the pandemic’s impact on access to services, and the turning point that led her to create a vital support network for families like hers.

Whitney Price is a passionate advocate, nonprofit leader, and devoted mother committed to supporting families of children with autism and intellectual and developmental disabilities (IDD). As the Founder and Executive Director of UnPuzzled Parents Connect, Whitney has dedicated her life to building a community where families no longer feel isolated or overwhelmed—but instead empowered, informed, and supported.

Her journey began as a mother navigating the complex world of special needs parenting, an experience that opened her eyes to the gaps in support, understanding, and resources that many caregivers face—especially in rural communities like those across West Virginia. Determined to make a difference, Whitney created UnPuzzled Parents Connect, a grassroots organization that has grown into a trusted statewide resource hub. Under her leadership, the nonprofit now offers programs like Coffee and Connections support groups, The Listening Room therapy and counseling sessions, Knowledge is Power workshops, and the newly launched Inclusion initiative, which brings disability awareness into schools.

Through her podcast Get UnPuzzled and community outreach efforts, Whitney amplifies the voices of families, facilitates critical conversations around disability inclusion, and creates platforms for meaningful change. She is also a sought-after speaker and has been featured on platforms like the Adjusting the Sails podcast.

Whitney’s leadership is rooted in lived experience, deep empathy, and a fierce commitment to advocacy. Whether she’s connecting families over coffee, organizing large-scale events, or working one-on-one with caregivers, her mission remains clear: to walk alongside families and help them feel seen, heard, and unpuzzled.

• The early signs of Whitney's son Connor’s autism and the complexities of diagnosis
• Why common autism 'red flags' didn’t apply
• Navigating grief, denial, and self-isolation
• The financial burden of therapies and the life-changing waiver program
• How a small support group grew into West Virginia’s largest autism family network
• Mental health strategies for parents and the power of shared experience

Coffee and Connections – Community meetups for parents and caregivers

The Listening Room – A safe, supportive space for sharing stories and experiences

West Virginia Medicaid Waiver Program – A disability-based funding program that helped Whitney access therapy services

ABA Therapy (Applied Behavior Analysis) – Intensive behavioral therapy used in early intervention

Birth to Three Program – Early intervention service in West Virginia supporting children under age three

Classroom Inclusion Kits – Educational tools distributed to schools to promote autism understanding and kindness year-round

Autism Level 3 Diagnosis – A diagnostic level indicating high support needs

Therapies Mentioned: Speech, Occupational, Physical, Behavior, ABA

Website - https://www.unpuzzledparentsconnect.com/

Facebook Group - https://www.facebook.com/groups/unpuzzledparentsconnectsupportgroup/

Facebook Page - https://www.facebook.com/p/Unpuzzled-Parents-Connect-61568330603127/

https://theautismmums.com/

Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums

Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums

Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums

Episode 10 - TAM Podcast - Whitney Price

[00:00:00]

Hello and welcome to the Autism Mums podcast. I'm Victoria. And

I'm Natalie. We are two sisters raising autistic children who know the joy, the

challenges, and the everyday moments. This is a supportive space for honest

conversations, practical tips, shared strength and expert advice. Whether you

are celebrating a win, surviving a meltdown, or just trying to make it through

the day, we are right here with you.

Join us as we share the ups, the downs, and everything in

between parenting autistic children.

Victoria Bennion:

We're so pleased to welcome to the podcast Whitney Price. The founder and

executive director of UNP Puzzled Parents Connect as a passionate advocate and

devoted Mother

Whitney is committed to [00:01:00]

supporting families of children with autism and developmental disabilities. Her

journey began as a mother navigating the complexities of special needs

parenting, which inspired her to create a grassroots organization that empowers

families, particularly in rural communities like West Virginia, through

initiatives like Coffee and Connections, and the listening room.

Whitney Fosters community, amplifies voices and drives

meaningful change. Welcome to the podcast, Whitney. Can you talk about where your journey began?

Whitney Price: My

name is Whitney Price and I am the founder of Un Puzzled Parents Connect and

our journey started. I would say much like a lot of the other parents that I've

spoke with that have a child that's on the spectrum. Connor is my little boy.

He is almost seven now, and he was diagnosed at the age of two.

With autism level three in the states where I am from in West

Virginia, we still [00:02:00] diagnose off of

the levels. So it's typical for a provider to give between a level one and

level three diagnosis. Some of them will even say profound autism, and we

started noticing. Back in 2020 when the pandemic had just started, that Connor

was a little bit delayed in his speech.

And for our region we have what's called birth to three, where

different providers will come in between when the child is born up until the

age of three. And if they're not hitting these milestones. Then they will

suggest that a speech therapist or maybe an occupational therapist, physical

therapist, anywhere that they are delayed in hitting the milestones.

They will suggest that a therapist come in the homes and work

with the child or infant, and we had Connor in daycare at the time. And they

had let us know that someone came in to evaluate the children and that Connor [00:03:00] qualified based off of a speech delay. And

Connor's our only child, so we are also first time parents.

We didn't think much of it, and I. I brushed it off and said

he's a little bit behind, but he'll catch up. He's only two, he's still a baby.

And he was typical in the sense that he was still playing with toys. He was

still calling for us in the way that he would still want to be picked up and

just doing a lot of actions that a typical toddler would do.

So we brushed a lot of things off at the beginning and when the

pandemic happened, the world was completely shut down. We had a lot of time to

spend with Connor, and one of the silver linings was, I called that agency and

said, okay, what can I do? Can you send me some information? Can you send me a

book, send me something on maybe helping him speak or getting him to talk?

So they immediately set us up with a speech therapist. [00:04:00] Everything was virtual at the time. And we

just started meeting with them every single week to go over the different

activities that we could do with Connor. We had 120 days to spend with Connor

when we were completely shut down. So I was home from work for that amount of

time and thought, okay, something is starting to develop new behaviors

developed, but they weren't the typical Google.

Research that you would do. They were not the typical red flags

that you would see. Connor had great eye contact. He responded to his name.

He'd point, he would cry and call for us in his own way, but he also. Was a

jumper. So Connor was constantly active, wanting to seek sensory input. We

didn't know that or what that was at the time.

We just knew that he was a very active baby, didn't like to

sleep, [00:05:00] and we brushed a lot of

things off. But new behavior started to develop for Connor. So he also started

to throw a lot . He started to spin the wheels on the car and obsessively flip

things over and want to play with things in his own way.

It wasn't running a car on a track, it was flipping it over,

running the wheels, and then jumping until they stopped. And at first that

seems adorable, and we

In this week’s episode of The Autism Mums Podcast, we’re talking about something that so many families raising autistic children will recognise - the exhausting and often disheartening process of dealing with the local authority.

This episode is an honest look at how hard it can be to get what your child needs and how important it is to stay organised, persistent and strong.

Keeping on top of it all: Parents and carers are often left chasing reports, updates, and decisions just to keep things moving.

You Can’t Assume Progress is Happening (unfortunately): If you're not following up, you're at risk of falling off the radar.

Options for Your Child: Parents are frequently kept in the dark about available options regarding alternative provision and specialist schools

Travel Expectations Can Be Unrealistic: Specialist schools may be far from home, making logistics overwhelming.

Change is Needed: Better communication, transparency and supportive systems would ease the burden on both families and staff.

https://theautismmums.com/

Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums

Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums

Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums

[00:00:00] Hello and welcome to

the Autism Mums podcast. I'm Victoria. And I'm Natalie. We are two sisters

raising autistic children who know the joy, the challenges, and the everyday

moments. This is a supportive space for honest conversations, practical tips,

shared strength and expert advice. Whether you are celebrating a win, surviving

a meltdown, or just trying to make it through the day, we are right here with

you.

Join us as we share the ups, the downs, and everything in

between parenting autistic children.

Victoria Bennion: In

today's episode, we're gonna talk about the challenges that so many families

face when navigating support through the local authority for their children. We

are gonna talk about the EHCP delays to the mystery surrounding alternative

provision and specialist schools.

If you've ever felt like you're fighting an uphill battle just

to get your child what they need, you're not alone. We are sharing our own [00:01:00] experiences, frustrations, and the lessons

we've learned.

There's much to say. Okay, you go.

Natalie Tealdi: I was

having a think about when we have had to deal with the local authority and it,

and it started off with the EHCP process. And then. There was also alternative

provision as part of that when the school placement was breaking down.

Victoria Bennion: You

can come across dealing with a local authority before you get to the HCP stage.

If your child isn't attending school, , you can be put in touch with inclusion

officer and ask to attend regular meetings. That's what happened with us

Natalie Tealdi: In my

experience it has involved lots of chasing up. So with various reports you need

to gather for the HCP and making sure it's all on track. And just to paint the

picture, when you have a child that's struggling at home, they're struggling

generally with school home they don't yet have.

A diagnosis. So you're trying to learn everything you possibly

can about a [00:02:00] SD and you're dealing

with daily meltdowns. They're being sent home from school. So you've got all of

that going on. And then on top of that, you need to deal with the local

authority and they're really frustrating processes.

Victoria Bennion:

Yes.

Natalie Tealdi: We

were looking at alternative provision. For our child and. I found that really

frustrating because I asked for a list because I wanted to have a look at what

the options might be myself, and there's quite a lot of secrecy involved and

I'm not really sure why. So I wasn't able to view a list even though one

obviously exists.

So I had to do my own research and I contacted these places

myself because we were going into a half term. That is usually a really quiet

time. A lot of people take holiday during half term, so it's hard to get hold

of anyone at the local authority at that point, so you're trying to progress

things, but I was just trying to do what I could, so I made my own inquiries,

found out that there [00:03:00] were a possible

few placements for my son.

Then we go back to school. We go to a meeting and I'm told the

council have done their own inquiries and there are no placements available,

which is not what I found. But at that point, because I've done my own

research, I was able to say, well, I've spoken to this place, this place, and

this place, and they all say they have a place.

Um, so you know, that's frustrating. So they then go back and,

eventually we found somewhere, but. It's that added.

Victoria Bennion: You have to be on top of it.

Natalie Tealdi: Yes.

Yes. And I just think there should be a better way. And I, I know so many

stories from other parents it's standard, isn't it? And there seems to be a lot

of staff turnover, staff sickness, as well as the usual annual leave. I'm not,

I'm not saying they shouldn't go on their annual leave.

Victoria Bennion:

It's shocking though, because I don't think you would see this in other [00:04:00] industries. For example, private sector. I

had a query with my child, and I needed to speak to somebody fairly urgently

the day that they broke up for the Easter holidays and. When I finally got

through to speak to someone, I was told that there was no point in me ringing

again to speak to someone during the East holidays. The person I needed to

speak to was on long-term sick and nobody else was there.

So apparently they take two and a half weeks off. And there's

no cover. I couldn't run my business like that. , I just had to wait, that's

just one of those other frustrations. Do you think that you could maybe tick

something off your list and you can't,

it's an added layer, as you said, when you're dealing with all

this. Another thing that I've come across is that you think something is

approved or something is done, they've said that's fine. And then nothing

happens. Just an example we'd been promised tutoring support., It took quite a,

a lot of correspondence to get to the point my tutoring had to go to panel. I

was told it was approved. And I was told that the [00:05:00]

tutors would be in touch two months later. nothing still being chased,

Natalie Tealdi: Oh my

goodness.

Victoria Bennion:

It's just another added layer that if parents aren't managing it. Along with

managing everything else, it's something that's, you know, realistically isn't

going to happen.

Natalie Tealdi: It's

another thing that you have to keep on top of, isn't it? , I was making weekly

phone calls with our contact at the local authority just to check in, and I'm

sure she really did not like having those phone calls with me. But it was just

that I felt that if I didn't, we'd drop off the radar and then nothing would

happen

you just have to keep on to get what your child needs. 'cause

at that point, your child is often struggling so much that you just need

something sorted out for them.

Victoria Bennion:

absolutely. And then weeks and months in their life, that's a very long time

and they're going without the support that they need, but there seems to be no

hurry. I.

Natalie Tealdi: And I

don't really understand what goes on there, but I'm sure improvements could be

made to [00:06:00] processes if they could work

with parents, collaborate with us, treat us like, you know, intelligent human

beings. I. I'm sure they could set up systems where they can track eh, HCPs and

we can log in and see a process.

You know, see, okay, that part's been ticked or they're still

waiting for that. Maybe I could chase that person to help it move along, rather

than just being blind.

Victoria Bennion: I

also think there needs to be more transparency

Natalie Tealdi: And

also with, specialist schools as well. Why is there not a list available so

that we can have a look to see what possible schools might be good for our

children,

you know, why is that a secret?

Victoria Bennion: I

know you're completely blind, aren't you?

Natalie Tealdi: I do

wonder if it's because of financial reasons, because they cost different things

and they don't want parents just plucking the most expensive school, is it to

do with that? I don't know, but I really do think it should be more accessible.

Victoria Bennion: If

your child isn't coping in mainstream, you are completely at sea. [00:07:00] With what happens next? What does that

look like if you have a child that's needs something different? Because when

you're in the mainstream school system, you know...

In this week's episode of The Autism Mums Podcast we're talking about  some of the real challenges families face with the current education system, especially when it comes to supporting autistic children.

Outdated Education System: The current education system is often rigid and not designed to accommodate the diverse needs of neurodivergent children.

Importance of Flexibility: There's a need for more flexible learning environments that allow for play and creativity, especially for younger children.

Struggles with Inclusion: Being in school is different from being included in school; many children face challenges that are not adequately addressed.

Identifying Needs Early: Early identification of challenges, such as speech or coordination issues, is crucial, but support often falls short.

Training for Educators: There is a significant need for enhanced training for teachers on special educational needs to better support neurodivergent students.

Impact of Environment: The classroom environment, including displays and changes, can greatly affect a child’s ability to learn and cope.

Communication Gaps: There are often communication breakdowns between schools, parents, and local authorities, leading to misunderstandings and lack of support.

Mental Health Considerations: The mental health of both children and parents is deeply affected by the educational experience and the pressure to conform.

Advocacy and Trusting Instincts: Parents should trust their instincts regarding their child's needs and advocate strongly for appropriate support.

Systemic Challenges: Financial motivations can influence decisions made about educational support, complicating the advocacy process for parents.

The quote Victoria mentioned seeing on social media is: When a child at school is anxious about going home, concerns would be raised. But when a child is anxious about going to school, we as parents are expected to encourage them to go no matter what. Think about that for a second. - seen on CureJoy Kids on Facebook.

https://theautismmums.com/

Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums

Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums

Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums

Episode 10 - TAM Podcast - Breaking Down Barriers to Education for Neurodivergent Children

[00:00:00]

Hello and welcome to the Autism Mums podcast. I'm Victoria. And I'm

Natalie. We are two sisters raising autistic children who know the

joy, the challenges, and the everyday moments. This is a supportive

space for honest conversations, practical tips, shared strength and

expert advice. Whether you are celebrating a win, surviving a

meltdown, or just trying to make it through the day, we are right

here with you.

Join us as we share the ups, the downs, and everything in between parenting autistic children.

Victoria Bennion: In this episode, Natalie and I are diving into

some of the real challenges families face with the current education

system, especially when it comes to supporting autistic children.

We talk about how mainstream school isn't always inclusive and what happens when children are expected to fit into a rigid system, and the emotional toll it takes when the support just isn't there. This is a personal [00:01:00]conversation drawn from our own experiences, and sadly, we know some of you may relate.

Natalie Tealdi: It's getting everyone to fit into a box, and I don't think that is a model that works

Victoria Bennion: No, it's not.

Natalie Tealdi: in my personal view. The education system is really outdated. Very outdated. They're so young when they start and

it doesn't need to be so rigid. If they could be a bit more

flexible, a bit more play into the learning environment, expecting

four and five year olds to sit on a chair and listen to lessons I

don't think is realistic.

Victoria Bennion: There's a difference between being in school and

being included in school as well. And when your child is struggling.

When my son started school he was struggling from day one. He was

struggling before he arrived.

There were difficulties he was having with speech, with food. They were probably the most obvious things before he started school because I was having conversations with the teachers or I was trying [00:02:00]

to, because I was so worried about the lack of clarity of the speech.

How he would be understood and what support he would get. And we were on a long waiting list at that time for speech therapy and we were

trying to push to get some support before he started, because so many

sounds were missing from his vocabulary. And I remember getting this

letter from the NHS just saying good news, he'd been allocated, a

batch of speech therapy with some other children.

It was gonna be in a group setting and it was to work on one sound. And I remember thinking, oh my God, one sound isn't gonna cut it. We are missing most sounds, more sounds than we've got, and. You have those settling in sessions before school, so there were two reception teachers when my son started school, so I remember speaking to one of them I didn't really feel that she heard me and somebody else recommended that I emailed the other.

Reception teacher because she was also the school SENDCO and she was really good. She was very supportive [00:03:00] and reassured me

really that there would be support given to him when he was in school. So from that point of view, that was okay, but once my son started at school, further difficulties became apparent. I dunno if that was true for

you

Natalie Tealdi: Oh yeah, definitely. It was a bit like an

explosion.

Victoria Bennion: There were things that we weren't aware of that

he was struggling with, that were uncovered during reception. So

things like coordination not being able to get change for pe, holding

a pen. And the teachers were very good at picking that up, but there

was a little group of them in my son's class that were pulled out for

extra support from very early on with handwriting. Can't remember

what else, to be honest, but that it was this same group. Now all of

those children have a diagnosis of some sort. I feel like it's

perhaps obvious you. I was told [00:04:00]

he'll grow outta so many of these things, particularly food that was

obviously a focus, like picky eating.

It will change. It didn't change. It didn't change. And. I don't think it changed for any of the children that were in that group. So they can certainly identify that there are issues from that young, so what can you do that's better? Because I know. It's the setup.

There's always gonna be children in every class. There's always gonna be a group. It's which group is it? So then how do you support these children best? Do you just keep your fingers crossed that they're gonna grow out of it?

Because the chances are that they're not, and they're going to need

extra support.

Or you just gonna keep your fingers crossed, that they go on to the next school, and that's where they'll completely explode and won't be able to cope. It seems to me that the system is not fit for purpose.

You've got say, one teacher with 30 children, so obviously no fault for the teacher, but they can't in the way that [00:05:00] it's set up. How can they possibly cater for all these different children's needs?

Natalie Tealdi: I totally agree with you there. In teacher training they need to include. Special educational needs training. It should be standard. They should be looking for it because we live in a world where there's, a percentage of people who are Neurodivergent and we should be recognizing that and, everybody should be aware of it in the workplace.

It's something that needs talking about a lot more because we need to be able to adapt our behaviors so that it's more inclusive.

Victoria Bennion: Yeah, absolutely. And you don't know the

different, that having the right support being in the right

environment would have for these children. Both of ours . At

different ages. They both had explosions, but it was around the same

time really of not being able to cope anymore.

And you just hear so many stories of other children who hold it all in, hold it all in until they absolutely can't anymore. But what if they were [00:06:00] given the right support? What if they were around people who understood if they had the training? The staff around them have the training, they might be able to think is the classroom too much of a

busy environment for them?

Do they need more sensory breaks? Could they be struggling with understanding what's being said to them? My son, I realize now he wouldn't have understood a lot of what was being said to him at that time. So that's really confusing.

If you're trained, you would know that perhaps change is really hard. So is there a way to have a visual timetable for everybody so everybody knows where they...

In this week's episode of The Autism Mums Podcast we welcome, Claire Grayshan, business coach and mother to three neurodivergent children to the show. Claire opens up about her journey to receiving both an autism and ADHD diagnosis later in life, how it transformed her parenting and why recognising your strengths can be the key to building a life that truly works for you.

Claire is a late-diagnosed autistic ADHDer, mum of three neurodivergent kids, and a passionate advocate for better mainstream school support, as both a parent and school governor. She spent years masking, overachieving, and burning out, first navigating a system that doesn't fit her children, then growing a business using strategies that didn’t fit her brain.

After autistic burnout, she rebuilt her business on her own terms. Now, as founder of The Virtual Vibe Coaching, she helps online service providers and coaches realign their strategy and simplify sales, so they can grow sustainably, without burnout, or forcing what doesn’t fit.

How late diagnosis can shape how you see yourself. It can bring clarity, self-compassion, and validation after years of internal doubt and masking.

How recognising shared neurodivergent traits can strengthen your parenting. It can fostering deeper connection and more empathetic support for your children.

How the school system falls short - what small, practical changes could make classrooms more inclusive and less overwhelming for neurodivergent learners.

How receiving a diagnosis can boost your confidence as an advocate - helping you trust your instincts and push past self-doubt when navigating EHCPs and school challenges.

How building a business around your energy and strengths is important - especially when traditional models drain you and don’t reflect your reality as a neurodivergent parent.

Sales Strategy Selector Quiz

Uncover how you sell best and which strategy suits you — based on your natural style and personality — so you can align your strategy, play to your strengths, and see your content convert. https://www.thevirtualvibe.co.uk/salesstrategyselector

Website - www.thevirtualvibe.co.uk

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/thevirtualvibeuk/

LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/claire-grayshan-48a707143/

TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@thevirtualvibeuk

https://theautismmums.com/

Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums

Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums

[00:00:00] Hello and welcome to

the Autism Mums podcast. I'm Victoria. And I'm Natalie. We are two sisters

raising autistic children who know the joy, the challenges, and the everyday

moments. This is a supportive space for honest conversations, practical tips,

shared strength and expert advice. Whether you are celebrating a win, surviving

a meltdown, or just trying to make it through the day, we are right here with

you.

Join us as we share the ups, the downs, and everything in

between parenting autistic children.

Victoria Bennion:

Today we're joined by Claire Gration, a brilliant business coach, a mom to

three neurodivergent children. Claire shares her powerful story of being

diagnosed with autism and A DHD in her late thirties, and she talks about how

that moment changed, not just how she sees herself, but also how she parents

advocates and runs her business.

Victoria Bennion:

Welcome to the podcast, Claire. It's great to have the [00:01:00]

chance to chat with you today.

Claire Grayshan:

Thank you Thank you for having me on..

Victoria Bennion:

Could you begin by talking about what it was like getting your autism and a DHD

diagnosis later in life, while also parenting neuro divergent children.

Claire Grayshan:

Yeah. Oh, where do I even begin? That is such a huge question, isn't it? I

think, so for me, what led to my diagnosis was through, through my children,

their needs and identifying those and then actually realizing we're really

alike. We're alike in so many ways, which is brilliant, and it enhances our

bond.

Claire Grayshan: But

then it also makes you think, actually if they're autistic, then I've gotta be

autistic. And I wasn't actually gonna explore it further. I was quite happy

with my own. Self validation of that. But my, it was one of my children that

said if I've had an, I, I appreciate the honesty and the bluntness 'cause I'm

the same, and she said, if I've had an assessment, why aren't you having an

assessment? And I said that's a good point. Do you feel that it would be useful

if mommy, we had an assessment? And she said [00:02:00]

yes. So that's what sort of initiated that. In terms of the diagnosis itself, I

actually went through the right to choose and it turned out that I had

literally a week between my autism diagnosis and my A DHD diagnosis.

Claire Grayshan: So

it was a bit it was a bit of a chaotic time. I didn't expect my A DHD diagnosis

to come at the same time. I didn't actually think I was, I had a DHD, so there

was that shock as well. But since then, so that was last July and since then,

for me. It's been a process of actually understanding myself better.

Claire Grayshan: I've

actually been kinder to myself realizing why I am like I am, and that it's not

necessarily for example, all through my life, so I'm 39 now, I'm 14 next month.

All through my life I have felt that every, and I've been told, several times

that I don't care about what anybody thinks.

Claire Grayshan: I

just say what I think and I'm brutally honest and. Blunt is a word that people

describe, grab me as. And it was always an insult. It was never a compliment. [00:03:00] It was never I love your honesty, or, I'm

so glad I know where I am with you when you talk. It was gosh, you don't care.

Do you, you don't care.

Claire Grayshan: And

I'm like, I don't understand. I'm just saying the answer to the question. You

are asking me the question. So things like that sort of started to slot into

place after the diagnosis because actually. Maybe I'm not blunt, maybe I'm

literally just, it's how my brain is, it's how I'm wired.

Claire Grayshan: It's

me answering the question. It's me being, honesty is really important to me and

not being fake and not like I can't do that. Those kinds of things all make up

who I am, which are all part of being autistic as well. So I suppose it was

realizing those things and why I was like I was, but also that.

Claire Grayshan: I'm

not just autistic, I'm player. Do you know what I mean? And not every artistic

person is the same. So yeah, it's been a rollercoaster, but I would say on the

whole now from the ups and downs of, oh my gosh, why did nobody recognize this

sooner? And, oh, does this mean I'm rubbish at this or that?

Claire Grayshan: And,

all those kinds of things, like [00:04:00]

negative thoughts to actually, this is when people tell me that I'm an

overthinker. This is what makes me super sensitive to my client's needs. I'm a

business coach, so that's a really positive thing for my for being a business

coach. I get onto a call with a client and I can tell I've got like strong

intuition and I can feel micro changes in how they're being, and I don't know

that everybody has that, and it's something that I'm good at, and I think it's

because I'm autistic and it's my attention to detail, and I might not have that

if I wasn't.

Claire Grayshan: So I

guess I can see it a lot more in a lot more positive light, which then as a

parent. I'm able to then put that positive spin so their experience is not

obviously discounting the hard things that we go through, but yeah, definitely

up and down.

Victoria Bennion:

It's got a lot of benefits, hasn't it? Has it changed the way that you advocate

for your children at school?

Claire Grayshan:

Yeah. Yeah. It does it makes it, I. For me, I think as a, as somebody who

really, I'll [00:05:00] always be an

overthinker, right? It's just part of who I am, and I'm okay with that now. But

for a long time I gave myself grief about that. Oh, why do I have to make such

a big deal out of...

 Today we're exploring a topic that many parents of autistic children can relate to: Sleep struggles. We'll explore the challenges surrounding sleepless nights. We are sharing our personal experiences and discussing strategies that have helped us navigate this exhausting journey.

Common Sleep Struggles: Many parents of autistic children face significant sleep challenges, often exacerbated by anxiety and sensory sensitivities.

Impact of Sleep Deprivation: Lack of sleep can worsen not only behavioral issues but also sensory struggles and overall well-being for both the child and the parents.

Trial and Error: Finding effective sleep solutions often involves trying various strategies, such as bedtime routines, environmental adjustments, and calming techniques.

Role of Melatonin: Melatonin can be beneficial for autistic children who struggle with sleep, but its usage requires careful monitoring and sometimes experimentation with different forms.

Communication and Support: Open communication with children about their sleep needs and preferences is crucial in finding solutions that work for them.

Self-Care for Parents: Managing sleep challenges can be exhausting, highlighting the importance of self-care strategies for parents, including seeking support and prioritizing rest when possible.

https://theautismmums.com/

Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums

Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums

Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums

[00:00:00]

Hello and welcome to the Autism Mums podcast. I'm Victoria. And I'm

Natalie. We are two sisters raising autistic children who know the

joy, the challenges, and the everyday moments. This is a supportive

space for honest conversations, practical tips, shared strength and

expert advice. Whether you are celebrating a win, surviving a

meltdown, or just trying to make it through the day, we are right

here with you.

Join us as we share the ups,

the downs, and everything in between parenting autistic children.

Natalie Tealdi: Today we are exploring a topic that many parents

of autistic children can relate to. Sleep struggles. We'll explore

the challenges surrounding sleepless nights. We are sharing our

personal experiences and discussing strategies that have helped us

navigate this exhausting journey.

Victoria

Bennion: For us, the sleep challenges started in line with

when my son's [00:01:00] anxiety hit a

real peak, and , it was all coming together at the same time. All the

struggles were getting so much worse and lack of sleep was one of

them. . He would just be up till the early hours of the morning.

It would get to 2:00 AM he'd

just be completely unable to go to sleep. And it was at a time when

he was so anxious as well. The lack of sleep was making everything

else so much worse.

It was making the sensory

struggle so much worse. It was making the anxiety the next day so

much worse 'cause he hadn't even rested and he's running on empty.

Natalie Tealdi: What sort of age was he then?

Victoria Bennion: He was eight. It was just something that

gradually, got worse., It was really, really exhausting. And we

weren't yet at the pediatricians, and I didn't know anything about

the link even because this was before we had a diagnosis, I just

didn't know why he couldn't sleep and we were trying everything.

We tried, going to bed

earlier. Maybe he's overtired, and we're getting to the point he's in

bed and we're past it. We tried baths, we tried [00:02:00]

turning the screens off earlier.

We tried, , listening to

music. We tried this lovely projector

We tried blackout blinds

again, which we still have from when he was little. , We moved the

room around. . He, didn't like to be under the window for a while, so

move the bed. Mum found a, a spray, it was supposed to aid sleep and

you sprayed it on the pillow. We tried that. , Oh, weighted blanket

We certainly went down that route of trying all the things that we

could think of.

But actually for us, at that

point, nothing was helping. It was leading up to the pediatrician

appointment, , and I was talking fairly regularly to the secretary,

just sort of checking in on the list and things and talking about the

struggles.

And she said to me, do you

give him melatonin? She said, you need to talk to the doctor when you

get your appointment. Which I did, and she explained to me that a lot

of autistic people don't make enough [00:03:00]

melatonin and that's why they can't sleep.

And she suggested trying a

melatonin gummy but then it explained that she couldn't prescribe it

and gave me a website where I needed to go and order it from America.

So that's what I did.

While I was waiting for us to

arrive, ' I mentioned it to a friend and she told me that she used

melatonin for her autistic child. At that point, we were getting very

little sleep so , she gave me a some of hers. She didn't have the

gummy, she had liquid and , with his very restricted diet. I didn't

even know how I was gonna get it into him, but I remember putting it

into one of his, yogurts and stirring it round and he just, he went

to sleep really, really quickly. It was within, 20 minutes. And he

was just. Flat out fast asleep. And you think that you'd be relieved

but I was in proper panic,

Natalie Tealdi: Oh no.

Victoria Bennion: Because we had been for weeks and weeks of no

sleep, that this was completely [00:04:00]

foreign , this seemed really unusual

so that was, probably my

introduction to sleep struggles.

Natalie Tealdi: . Our started a lot earlier, so our son. Gave up

naps really early, like 18 months old. I think 18 months to two years

was a real time where we noticed things changed. But being our first

child, it was quite tricky to really recognize the differences, I

suppose. It's only now that I have my daughter and she sleeps really

well, but I realize, , what an issue that was for our son.

But, , bedtimes would take

hours and hours, hours and hours. And he even now is too scared at

night. And we tried everything you can think of like changing the

bedding. He doesn't like wearing pajamas 'cause I don't think he

likes the feel of the material of the pajamas against the duvet

covers.

We tried changing his room.

Different room in the house.

Victoria Bennion: [00:05:00] Something

that we didn't mention was once you get to sleep, staying asleep,

didn't necessarily happen either and.

Natalie Tealdi: No,

If our son wakes up at, in the

night needing the toilet, he thinks I'm gonna get up. No. , And he'll

just get dressed at four o'clock in the morning because he's awake

and then trying to convince him to go back to sleep.

It can be really hard.

Victoria

Bennion: Four o'clock's an amazing time to get up and

start your day. You could get so much done.

Natalie Tealdi: Yeah, so I think anxiety around sleep is quite a

big thing. But like you, melatonin is our friend.

And it does feel strange

given, I think maybe 'cause it's not prescribed, it feels odd and

you're buying it from the internet, but it's recommended by the

doctor,

Victoria Bennion: Did you tell anyone about using melatonin? I just

wonder what reaction you got was everyone positive around you?

Natalie Tealdi: do you know, I don't remember any conversations

that have been

but it's not really something

I talk about a lot, to

Victoria Bennion: I mentioned it to somebody I was already anxious

about it. And she [00:06:00] said, she

had heard that it can stunt growth and I. There. Were , , other side

effects and it's worrying, isn't it?

Because you are already not

sure if you're doing the right thing. But if he doesn't have it,

literally can't sleep and he can't function, he can't at all access

school or life in any way. 'cause Absolutely exhausted.

Natalie Tealdi: And what does that do to your health? If you don't

sleep

enough, you know that's bad

for your body too.

Victoria Bennion: It's really bad for your body, but it's all these

things you're trying to balance, isn't it?

You're picking the right thing

or the wrong thing and . I think it's tricky. It's tricky. But, , my

sons now have melatonin for a couple of years and, , , it's a

lifesaver for him. He knows what he's taking. He wants to take it and

if he doesn't take it, he still can't sleep.

It's that...

In this week's episode of The Autism Mums Podcast we welcome Kimberley Guche to the show. Kim explains how our children read our inner signals (even when we’re 'holding it together), why we can’t think our way out of overwhelm and the simple, compassionate resets that help us move from chaos to calm.

Kim Guche is a pediatric speech-language pathologist, certified hypnotherapist, NLP coach, and the creator of Nervous System First Parenting™ — a revolutionary, body-based approach that helps overwhelmed moms calm their own nervous system so they can lead with steadiness and intention. Drawing on trauma-informed tools, vagus nerve science, and her own journey as a single mom of four, Kim teaches the part most parenting books miss: how to shift chaos by regulating the energy inside you. Her 5-minute Chaos to Calm™ Reset isn’t just for your kids — it’s for you, so you can finally stop white-your way through motherhood.

• Calm is a body state: regulation has to be felt, not forced by thoughts.
• Children read our nervous systems - even when we’re 'holding it together.'
• Five-minute resets that work anywhere: breath, havening, tapping, shaking, cold-water splash.
• Visual anchors (trees, sunflowers, happy snapshots) create a rapid route back to safety.
• Grounding touch and proprioceptive input can soothe dysregulation when touch is OK.
• Micro 'pattern interrupts' sprinkled through the day raise your resilience floor.
• Congruence matters: when your inner and outer signals match, kids settle faster.
• Anchor the good: pair a physical cue with a joyful memory for instant state-shifts.
• Work with mums and kids to amplify results and reduce trigger loops.
• Progress over perfection - self-kindness keeps everyone steadier.

Access Kim's meditations:

Peaceful Parenting

Chaos to Calm Reset

Access Kim's free Skool group where mums can find help to get calmer inside of the chaos.  

Website:  www.entrancinginspirations.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chaostocalmnlp/

Website – https://theautismmums.com/

Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums

Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums

Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums

Natalie Tealdi: [00:00:00] welcome to the podcast, Kim. It's great to

have you here.

Kim Guche: It's great

to be here. Thank you.

Natalie Tealdi: So

you've got a really interesting background. Can you talk a little bit about

your journey to becoming the creator of the Nervous System First Parenting

please.

Kim Guche: My journey

is started I think probably when I was a speech. I'm a speech language

pathologist and I, and I also have four children. I, when I was, had a turning

point in my speech pathology career where I, it just wasn't working for me

anymore. And I knew I needed to do something different 'cause something else

felt like it was calling me and I ended up finding my way to look, going into

hypnosis, but for myself.

Kim Guche: 'cause I

wanted to see what is this about? How could I use it for me? And, so the minute

I walked in to the appointment that I had, it was like just something hit me.

Like I knew oh, I feel like this is what I'm supposed to do now, but I didn't

know why or how or really what I [00:01:00] was

gonna do with it.

Kim Guche: And I just

knew it is I gotta open this up more. And then when I learned about it. And I

started, I started working with it. And you know how much it helped me. I

thought this would really be great for all the kids that I work with, that

because I had said when I was working with the kids every time I'd go back to

school on Monday, wouldn't it be great if there was a way.

Kim Guche: That we

could make all this stuff that I tell you all the time, stick, and then we

wouldn't have to start over again every Monday. And I didn't know that. Using

the subconscious mind, that's exactly what happens. So once I learned that, it

hit me like, oh, that's how you do it. You use the other side of the brain and

not just for learning, but for so many things.

Kim Guche: Just

mindset and letting go of the old. Like the fears that we have and the

self-doubts and the the anxiety. And so I had thought I do wanna [00:02:00] use this. It helped me so much. I wanna

help people, but I'm passionate about kids. So I thought, how can I use this?

How can I use this to help the kids that I work with?

Kim Guche: And then

it just started happening that, moms, I had a people finding me and saying, can

you know, how can you help my kid? And it started out with I was getting a lot

of children for sports improvement gymnasts and kids who were getting in their

head for their sport and had fear.

Kim Guche: And so I

started doing that and and that's of course, that's wonderful because you, you

wanna see kids excel because that's how their self-esteem and they grow in so

many ways through their sport and you never want them to give up. So I started

like that and then I thought, wow, this could really help so many kids with the

limiting beliefs and the anxiety that they have.

Kim Guche: And then,

because as a speech language pathologist primarily working with kids on the

autism spectrum, A DHD like the gamut of everything in a [00:03:00] school. I started getting clients, like

moms were bringing their kids to me with with autism and help, asking could I

help them learn how to socialize better or to get over a fear.

Kim Guche: And that,

so I it went into that. And then personally for me, I left. The place where I

was living moved to a new place where I knew no one and had a huge cataclysmic

life event where I was very anxious all the time with a lot of very high needs

kids in the class that I was working in.

Kim Guche: And so I

was struggling with them and I was watching like these kids. Listen, and they

follow directions for the teacher and for other people. But they were not

behaving at all when they were in speech. And I know I'm a great speech

pathologist, so I thought, what, I have to really look at what's going on.

Kim Guche: 'cause

it's not the room we're in, it's not the school. It's, there's gotta be

something with me. [00:04:00] So I started,

thinking what would happen? What would happen? What? It's, it, I can't put it

on them. It's got, I have to look at me. What would happen if I meditate every

day before I come to school and got myself calmer.

Kim Guche: And I just

set, said it as like a random, let's do it as an experiment. And I noticed it

worked. I had two good days in a row and I thought, this can't, it can't just

be the meditation, could it? And I thought maybe it really is. So I, I got

outta my meditation routine. When my life changed, which was not a good thing

to do, but that's what happened.

Kim Guche: So I got

back into it, I got back meditating and it, I realized it had nothing to do

with my skill as a speech pathologist with the techniques I was using, with the

reinforcers, with the games we were playing. 'cause they liked all that. It,

they were getting dysregulated because I was dysregulated and. So I was

journaling at the time, and then I just started reflecting. And it brought me

back [00:05:00] to all the times when I was

raising my own kids. And my very sensitive son had said to me day, he said,

mommy, you're doing all, why are you, I'm doing all this crying because you're

doing all this yelling.

Kim Guche: And he was

having a day where he wouldn't stop crying. And I said what? Yelling? I haven't

yelled. He said, yes you are. Yes you are. You're yelling right here. Right

here. And he was like pointing, pointing to his chest. And I said, I have, this

mom hasn't yelled, so I don't know what mom, I don't know what mom you're

talking about.

Kim Guche: And then

I, but I didn't connect the dots back then. I, and then I thought back all...

In this week's episode of The Autism Mums Podcast  we wanted to share with you our experiences of attending the fight for Ordinary Send Rally at Parliament Square Gardens in London last Monday, the 15th September.

Community Support: The rally highlighted the importance of community and connection among parents and advocates in the SEND space, fostering a sense of solidarity.

The Importance of Advocacy: Attending the rally underscored the need for collective advocacy to bring attention to the challenges faced by SEND families.

Emotional Experiences: Both hosts shared their feelings of anxiety and excitement about attending the rally, illustrating the complexity of leaving their children to advocate for change.

Speaker Impact: Key speakers at the rally, including politicians and advocates, provided hope and insight into the ongoing struggles and needs within the SEND system.

Parliamentary Debate: Following the rally, a significant parliamentary debate took place, emphasising the urgency of addressing SEND issues and the need for accountability in the system.

Recommendations for Change: The episode detailed recommendations made by MPs to improve SEND accountability, including strengthening the SEND Tribunal and ensuring compliance with existing laws.

Website – https://theautismmums.com/

Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums

Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums

Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums

Victoria

Bennion: [00:00:00] Welcome

back to the Autism Mums podcast. Today we wanted to share with you

our experiences of attending the fight for Ordinary Send Rally at

Parliament Square Gardens in London last Monday, the 15th. It was so

amazing to come together with the rest of the community but we just

wanted to jump on quickly and do a short episode about it to let

those of you know who couldn't be there, what went down.

Natalie

Tealdi: It was so good to be there. We know many others

wanted to come but couldn't. It isn't easy to coordinate, but somehow

the stars aligned for us to attend. Please know that we took you all

there with us in spirit.

Victoria

Bennion: I felt really lucky that we could be there. I

don't know about you, Nat, but it wouldn't always be possible. And I

know for so many parents and carers who wanted to be there, but they

couldn't. Ironically, because some of them have got their children

out of school, they're driving miles to get their children into

school.

You know, it's specialist

provision. So. [00:01:00] Yeah, I think

we were really lucky that we had the opportunity to be there in the

first place.

Natalie

Tealdi: It was a strange day for me because it's the first

time I've left both of my children for the whole day. It felt very

weird just packing a bag for myself and no one else. It was nice to

not have to feel like a pack horse for once. I did have some anxiety

about how they would be without me, but I felt it was so important

for us to be there, so I just had to focus on that.

Victoria

Bennion: To set the picture, so I got up at five 30 to

walk the dog. I know, many of you will know, sometimes it's not easy

and it takes a lot of planning to be able to get out of the house for

a day.

We're in Dorset, so it's about

a three hour train ride to London. I walked the dog on the beach with

my mom in the pitch black. First, and then Natalie drove over to us

and then we got the car down to the station and my daughter came with

us as, she's not in school at the moment. [00:02:00]

She's been out of school for a year now.

And it was so nice. When we

got onto the next station, some of our friends joined and actually

one of our friends, we took a moment. We were just talking about how

we actually met in the school playground when our children were

struggling, and she assumed that.

, My son had autism as she

offered to land defenders. Natalie, you'd already met, her separately

at a party. I know. It was just funny that we've been on this journey

together and that we were off to London to the protest there came

some other moms who belonged to Carmen's Fix Send Dorsett group.

So that was great to meet some

new faces. And again, you have so much in common and everybody's

fighting for the same thing.

Natalie

Tealdi: Yeah, that was really lovely.

Victoria

Bennion: Obviously over the weekend there had been some

other very large rallies in London. So we'd certainly had family

members who were a bit nervous about us going up to London, but

[00:03:00] there was absolutely no sign

of it when we arrived. It was a really peaceful rally. It's my first

rally.

Was it for your first rally

too? Nat??

Natalie

Tealdi: Yes, it was

we were there early and as we

walked over the bridge, a few people were already gathered. The

ground was damp and boggy, from the rain, and the wind was quite

strong. But that didn't dampen our spirits. Did it look.

Victoria

Bennion: It was a nice, friendly atmosphere. We were just

surrounded by other people just like us who were all on the same

path, who understood. One of the speakers actually said that. Our

community, deserved an award for filling in the most paperwork.

And actually, if you just

looked around the whole of Parliament Square that was so true because

all of us have sat there writing E HCPs, DLA forms advocating for our

children. It's a lot of paperwork. So that did cause a laugh.

Natalie

Tealdi: It was a lighthearted moment that I think we can

all relate to.

Victoria

Bennion: Everybody there was so friendly people were

[00:04:00] chatting, asking each other

stories. We just all wanted to support each other to support the

rally and you know, ultimately be heard by the government before the

debate.

The rally was more than just

about raising our voices. It was really about connection as well. And

we loved meeting parents, advocates and creators. We follow online,

didn't we?

Natalie

Tealdi: Yeah, that was definitely the highlight for me.

Victoria

Bennion: It was great to meet the autism dads whose

podcast we listened to and also Fiona from. It's that parent in real

life, although I didn't realize it was her.

To start with, she was

speaking to our friend Carmen, and you know when you see her face and

then you, you're trying to place it. It wasn't actually until the

next day that I realized that she was Fiona from, it's that parent

who I follow on Instagram, so that was really cool as well.

Natalie

Tealdi: Yeah, it's a funny one, isn't it? I think when you

follow people online, sometimes, like if you see them in real life,

you think you're gonna say hello 'cause you think that they know you

because you follow them. So it could be [00:05:00]

like a really strange sort of feeling 'cause you feel like you know

them really well, but they don't have a clue who you are at all.

So, like in your case you see

them and you can't place them and you dunno why, and then suddenly

you're back on social media and you think, ah, that's who they were.

Victoria

Bennion: The organizers had done such a fantastic job. I

didn't really know what to expect, but they put out a map to show us

where we needed to head When we left the station, they told us where

there were nearby cafes, toilets, all those things. Making it really

comfortable and accessible for, people to attend.

Natalie

Tealdi: Yeah, they really had planned it all out so well.

I mean, so much work must have gone into it. So yeah, it was really

good.

Victoria

Bennion: And they had such a fantastic speaker lineup. Ed

Davey was there and he spoke and he was really great. The chair of

the education select committee came along, Helen Hayes.

There was former teacher and

neurodiversity advocate, Pete [00:06:00]

Wharmby, comedian and...

In this week's episode of The Autism Mums Podcast Victoria and Natalie open up about the often-overlooked challenges that school holidays bring for families of autistic children. While many look forward to summer as a time to unwind, for SEND families, it can mean disrupted routines, inaccessible childcare, and emotional overload for both children and parents.

• The change in routine of the summer holidays can cause emotional distress for autistic children (such as Natalie's son.)
• Traditional holiday clubs are often not suitable for neurodivergent children
• Planning can be helpful for some families -Structured days with visual timetables and pre-planned outings
• Finding clubs with adequate support for older children—or any children under 8—is still a major barrier for many families.
• Even the best laid plans can need flexibility, especially when emotions run high or children have different needs on the day.
• You may find it works best to create moments for each child to have their needs met, sometimes separately.
• Finding other parents in similar situations provides not just understanding, but practical help from playdates to moral support.
• Self-care can be challenging but it's still important, even it you can find small moments for an evening meditation or a chat with a friend.
• Joy can be found in simpler, slower summer moments

Learn more about visual timetables - https://www.caudwellchildren.com/visual-timetables-for-autistic-children/

ASCape - https://ascapegroup.org/

https://theautismmums.com/

Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums

Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums

Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums

[00:00:00] Hello and welcome to

the Autism Mums podcast. I'm Victoria. And I'm Natalie. We are two sisters

raising autistic children who know the joy, the challenges, and the everyday

moments. This is a supportive space for honest conversations, practical tips,

shared strength and expert advice. Whether you are celebrating a win, surviving

a meltdown, or just trying to make it through the day, we are right here with

you.

Join us as we share the ups, the downs, and everything in

between parenting autistic children.

Victoria Bennion:

Hello, I'm Victoria, and today we're talking about something that can be

especially tough for many families. The school holidays, when you hear the word

holiday, most people think of relaxing, unwinding, and quality family time. But

if you're raising an autistic child, the reality can look very different.

Victoria Bennion: It

does for Natalie. So in this episode, we're sharing honest stories from our own

lives. [00:01:00] We're talking about what's

worked, what hasn't, and sharing a few simple strategies that we've found

helpful that we hope might help you to make Summer a little more manageable.

Natalie Tealdi: this

is a time of year that we really struggle with because our son really loves his

routine, so now he's in A school he enjoys, he likes to go there every day and

he'd quite happily go there every day of the week. Thank you very much. All

year round, which I'm sure his teachers would absolutely love.

Natalie Tealdi: So we

notice as school holidays are approaching perhaps. Two weeks before each

holiday, he starts to get more stressed. We see more stimming, more

dysregulated behaviors, his diet's affected, doesn't eat as much, those kind of

things. So when it actually gets to holidays, he just doesn not like being out

of his routine,

Victoria Bennion:

I've heard other parents say the same struggle, but for my son, he's counting

down [00:02:00] to the holidays and he loves

that all the pressure has taken off. I so it's really interesting always for me

to hear I'm sorry for you that it's challenging.

Natalie Tealdi: Yeah,

and I think it is also, it's a bit of a mindset thing because you hear holiday

and you think, oh, time to relax. Oh, it'd be so nice if it was like that. And

I know that it is like that for some families and that's brilliant. But for us

it actually means more work, more planning needs to be involved.

Natalie Tealdi: He's

very physical, so it's not only the mental planning that needs to go into it,

it's the physical as well. I need to be on it. I need to be doing things with

him because he needs that physical stimulation.

Victoria Bennion: I

remember when he was quite little and you were trying to find suitable clubs

and you had a bad experience with the holiday club. That was quite early on, .

That was when you were starting to realize that there were some issues here.

Things were not all Okay.

Natalie Tealdi: That

club [00:03:00] was, I'd put him in for three

full days a week. I think it was two or three, so that I could work. At that

point I was working at a university. So I put him into. This club, and it was a

disaster. He just could not cope. He tried to run away several times. He was

kicking out. He just did not want to be there, did not want to join in and

wasn't coping.

Natalie Tealdi: And

at the time I didn't know what was going on because I had inklings that he was

struggling with things, but I didn't really know why. And we ended up taking

him out of there and I had to reduce my work hours, which was very stressful

'cause I just couldn't do my job properly. And it was then, that was before he

started school.

Natalie Tealdi: So it

was then that I contacted the senco at the school to alert them to this

experience so that they were a bit prepared for when he started school.

Victoria Bennion: The

following year, when you started. Looking for clubs or how you were gonna cover

the summer holidays, you knew that clubs like that wouldn't [00:04:00] be a good fit for your son.

Natalie Tealdi:

Exactly. We knew that he needed a lot more support. He finds following

instructions very difficult, and also he doesn't. Really like following

instructions. So if a game is a certain way, he will look at it and think let's

play it a different way and design his own. So he's very, it's clever in that

way, but he needs a lot of support for following instructions and also managing

his emotions too.

Victoria Bennion:

When you are looking at clubs, what are the kind of clubs that he would like to

do?

Natalie Tealdi: He

enjoys water sports climbing. That kind of thing. Very physical things, but he

would need somebody with him.

Victoria Bennion: Was

his age a factor in finding clubs that had the right support?

Natalie Tealdi: Yeah

I found that under eight, particularly a lot of clubs just wouldn't take under

eights. I dunno why that is.

Natalie Tealdi: I

wonder if it's to do with [00:05:00] personal

care or.

Victoria Bennion:

Could be.

Natalie Tealdi: I

don't know, level of maturity generally,

Victoria Bennion: So

what did you do? In that time where you couldn't find clubs that would take him

'cause he wasn't old enough, if they did have the right support and you

couldn't put him into clubs for neurotypical children because he wouldn't cope

or they wouldn't go well. So what were you left with when you were trying to

juggle working and your other child?

Natalie Tealdi: It's

basically down to us. So what we actually did was get a nanny for our younger

child because that was easier to find care for her. It's expensive option. But

I didn't want to put her in a child minder when she was so little. So we got a

nanny in that could look after her sometimes in the home and sometimes take her

out so that I could fully focus on my son.

Natalie Tealdi: And

we still have the nanny now. Not as many hours, but. We do, and we also, we are

lucky enough to, [00:06:00] we do get funding

for our son now to have a pa, but that's only for four hours a week during

holidays. So when it comes to me working, it doesn't leave much room with the

childcare that's involved to me and my husband.

Natalie Tealdi: Take

a lot of time off.

Victoria Bennion: I

think that's true of a lot of families who have the same difficulties as you do

is very hard. Few weeks to juggle.

Natalie Tealdi: Yeah,

and I find that I want to work because that is my time off. And then I feel

guilty saying that. 'cause of course I like to spend time with my children, but

at the same time, that is my respite as well. And I do need that time to just

be me.

Victoria Bennion:

That makes sense. Since he's turned 8, have you found that now you have more

options for this summer?

Natalie Tealdi: Not

In this episode we’re joined by Maria Moreno, a paediatric sleep consultant and motherhood life coach. With her wealth of experience, Maria shares insights on the unique sleep struggles faced by autistic children and offers practical advice for parents navigating these challenges. From personalised sleep plans to sensory considerations, this conversation is packed with valuable information to help families find their way to more restful nights.

Maria Moreno is a certified paediatric sleep consultant—with a specialization in neurodivergent sleep—and a motherhood life coach dedicated to supporting moms through the emotional challenges of motherhood. She holds a master’s degree in art education and has spent over 15 years working with neurodivergent children, bringing a deep understanding and empathy to the families she serves. After navigating postpartum depression and severe sleep deprivation, she founded Mindful Mother to help families restore rest and balance. She’s also the co-founder of Tumago, a handmade comfort blanket brand designed with sensory-sensitive and neurodivergent children in mind. Maria blends lived experience, professional training, and compassionate coaching to empower overwhelmed moms with practical, personalized tools that bring calm, connection, and confidence to their motherhood journey.

Understanding Individual Needs: Every child is different, and sleep plans should be tailored to their unique personalities and family dynamics.

Importance of Routines: Consistent bedtime routines can help children understand what to expect and ease the transition to sleep.

Visual Supports: Utilising visuals, like personalised bedtime books, can aid in preparing children for sleep changes.

Sensory Considerations: Addressing sensory sensitivities with appropriate comfort items can significantly improve sleep quality.

Environmental Factors: Creating a calming sleep environment, including blackout curtains and white noise machines, can help minimise disruptions.

Email - mindfulmotherllc@gmail.com

Website - www.mindfulmother.biz

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/mindfulmother_sleep/

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/mindfulmother1

Pinterest - https://www.pinterest.com/MindfulMother_LifeCoach

LinkedIn - www.linkedin.com/in/mindfulmother

https://www.mindfulmother.biz/autismsleep

This guide is designed to help parents gently create better sleep routines for their neurodivergent children, without cry-it-out methods or rigid schedules. It’s full of simple, parent-friendly tools that truly make a difference.

In addition to this free guide, Maria is kindly offering 20% off Tumago handmade comfort blankets with code AUTISMMOM These sensory-sensitive blankets were inspired by Maria's own daughters and lovingly handmade by her family.

https://tumago.etsy.com

https://theautismmums.com/

Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums

Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums

Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums

Victoria Bennion: [00:00:00] today, we're excited to welcome to the podcast Maria Marino, a certified pediatric sleep consultant and motherhood life coach. After our last episode about sleep, many of you reached out with questions about sleep challenges, so we thought it would be great to explore these themes further if you don't know Maria, she holds a Master's degree in art education and has over 15 years experience working with neurodivergent children. After navigating her own struggles with postpartum depression and sleep deprivation, she founded Mindful Mother to help families restore balance and rest.

Maria is the co-founder of Tumago. A handmade comfort blanket brand designed specifically for sensory sensitive children. Her blend of lived experience and

professional expertise empowers overwhelmed parents with practical,

personalized tools to enhance their journey.

Natalie Tealdi: Welcome to the podcast Maria.

Maria Moreno: Thank you so much for having me.

Natalie Tealdi: We would love to know more about what inspired you

to become a [00:01:00] pediatric sleep

consultant and motherhood life coach especially for neurodivergent

families, I.

Maria Moreno: I have a master's in art education and I have

worked with kids for over 15 years. Being in the arts or being in

elective class I. I have very single type of kid coming in and out of

my classroom I find that as a blessing

'cause I've been able to work with kids with autism, with kids, with

A DHD, so on and so forth. I have my fair share of experience and I

have always have a special place in my heart because it's just.

Amazing. I love it I became a mom during COVID my little one had

reflux, had a heart condition, had a bunch of things going on at the

same time, and she was a very poor sleeper. She would wake up most.

Five, six times a night for at least the first six months before I

hired my own first sleep consultant.

What was wild to me is that

the pediatrician never really told me anything about a sleep

consultant until I was like, this is really affecting me. My

postpartum [00:02:00] depression was

escalating, postpartum anxiety was escalating. Postpartum rage was

starting to pop up. I was seeing blurry.

It was just not great at all.

I hired, a sleep consultant, with my little one by three to four

nights. She was already sleeping through the night. She would wake up

maybe once to eat and then continue.

From there, I realized a huge

change and how beneficial obviously it is to sleep because a lot of

us, tend to take rest for granted. I was, start helping other moms,

giving them like little tips, tricks and whatever. And then a mom

actually told me, Hey, why don't you do this?

Okay. I got into the sleep

consulting and. Then I realized that, where I got my certification,

they also have four neurodivergent kids. And I like this because that

means I can help more families. My nature is to be able to help as

many families and kids because, I have experienced what sleep

deprivation is firsthand and. I can only imagine having, a little one

with autism with anxiety, with a [00:03:00]

DHD, so on and so forth. I decided to get my certification because I

wanted to be able to help as many as I can. That is how, mindful

mother became to be,

Victoria:

I like what you say. I don't like what you say about sleep

deprivation, but it took me back 'cause my daughter was a terrible

sleeper too. She'd reflux and I think it was 18 months before she

slept through the night. So I didn't know there were such things as

sleep consultant. So it's brilliant to hear what you are doing. In

terms of, your work with neurotypical children and neurodivergent

children. what differences do you see?

Maria

Moreno: Usually it's a process that it's a little bit

longer and the reason why is because I like to take it step by step.

A lot of people tend to put everything just cookie cutter, and ,

every kid. Doesn't matter who. Every kid is completely different. The

personalities are different.

Their needs are different.

Their family dynamics is different. What their parents also need is

different. So I don't like to sit here and be like, Hey cut cutter

here. This is what [00:04:00] you got.

It's fine. It works for every kid. With autism, no, that's not how it

works because I know that there's different spectrums.

I know that, depending on the

texture, depending on the colors, depending on the environment,

depending on everything it's a combination of things, and is one of

the biggest difference that, it's not going to be, two weeks or a

week.

It's gonna be a little bit

longer because it's a prepping work for them to start understanding

what's coming up next and for the family to also be already, okay,

this is what's coming up next, step by step. So that way it's a

smoother transition than if it's just like. Do this, do that, do

this, and just everything is just one to two weeks. That's how we get

more tantrums not very happy families,

Victoria:

yeah, that makes sense. You definitely need the time to get used to

the change. Yeah, I can see that.

Natalie

Tealdi: Can you walk us through what a personalized sleep

plan looks like and how your custom bedtime books...

In this inspiring episode of The Autism Mums Podcast, we’re joined by Mark Fleming, an autistic fitness coach and founder of a fitness brand dedicated to supporting neurodivergent individuals. Mark shares how sport and movement helped him regulate his own system growing up and how he now empowers others through exercise.

From working with Special Olympics athletes to seeing remarkable transformations in his clients — including improved focus, reduced anxiety, and even newfound verbal skills — Mark’s work highlights the life-changing benefits of accessible, neurodiversity-informed fitness.

We explore:

• How exercise can support sensory regulation, cognitive functioning, and behaviour in autistic children and adults.
• Practical strategies to help children ease into movement, even if they are reluctant.
• Mark’s own journey to becoming a fitness entrepreneur and advocate for neurodivergent athletes.

Whether you’re wondering how to help your child build confidence through movement, or looking for hope and inspiration, this episode is full of practical wisdom and encouragement.

Dr. Mark Fleming is an autistic entrepreneur who owns and runs a fitness brand called Equally Fit where he provides exercise training and consulting to those with disabilities. He obtained his Bachelor’s and Master’s degrees in Exercise Science from The University of Alabama and his PhD in Kinesiology from Concordia University at St. Paul. He has spent time working in Applied Behavior Analysis and has coached Special Olympics, where his athlete's all won gold at the state competition level. He has been featured on CNN.com, Mens Health magazine, various websites and other magazines as well as on every local news channel in Tampa. He served as the first autistic chair for the constituency board for C.A.R.D-USF in 2023-24.

• How exercise helps regulate sensory systems and supports emotional balance in autistic individuals.
• How small, consistent steps can help children and adults embrace movement without overwhelm.
• How structured exercise can reduce stimming, improve focus, and open new possibilities for learning and socialising.
• How supporting children with ADHD through exercise can channel energy positively and improve self-awareness.
• How gradual progress and celebrating small wins can build lifelong confidence and resilience.
• How Mark's lived experience inspires families to reimagine what's possible for their children and themselves.

Special Olympics - Dedicated to empowering individuals with intellectual disabilities through sport.

Center for Autism and Related Disabilities at the University of South Florida - Where Mark served as the first autistic chair on the constituency board.

Website - www.equallyfit.com

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/dr.markf31

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/official_drmark/

https://theautismmums.com/

Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums

Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums

Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums

Hello and welcome to the Autism Mums podcast. I'm Victoria. And

I'm Natalie. We are two sisters raising autistic children who know the joy, the

challenges, and the everyday moments. This is a supportive space for honest

conversations, practical tips, shared strength and expert advice. Whether you

are celebrating a win, surviving a meltdown, or just trying to make it through

the day, we are right here with you.

Join us as we share the ups, the downs, and everything in

between parenting autistic children.

Victoria Bennion:

Today we're joined by an incredibly inspiring guest, Mark Fleming, an autistic

fitness coach and founder of a fitness brand dedicated to supporting

neurodivergent individuals. In this conversation, mark shares how sport helped

him regulate his own system, growing up his journey, starting his own business,

and his work with the special Olympic athletes, plus the [00:01:00] transformations he's seen in his clients.

Victoria Bennion:

Hello and welcome to the podcast, mark. It's lovely to get the chance to talk

to you again. Can I start by asking you, has exercise always been important in

your life?

Mark Fleming: Yeah, I

grew up loving sports I was a three varsity ladder athlete in high school. And

I think part of the reason why is I. That it regulated my system is that, it

was ingrained in me that if I was active, I was, able to focus on schooling a

little bit better and being able to deal with all the anxiety and stuff that

comes with being autistic.

Victoria Bennion:

That's really good. That's really interesting to know.

Natalie Tealdi: Can

you talk us through your journey to starting a fitness brand in 2017?

Mark Fleming: Shortly

after getting my master's, I didn't know the direction I was going in life.

Ended up working for a b, A company. I. As a behavior assistant. And [00:02:00] through that, and also being a coach for

Special Olympics, because I wanted to be involved in athletics, somehow I

noticed a startling trend that these kids that I was working with that had

motor deficiencies, they seemed to be popping up in the older generations that

I worked with in Special Olympics. And so I knew there was a physical activity

gap. And since I was couldn't go anywhere with a BA because I needed to go back

to school if I wanted to progress in that field, I decided it was probably

best.

Mark Fleming: With my

academic background in exercise science to try to help this population become

more physically active. And I started out at the trunk of my car, and that's

how that got started.

Victoria Bennion:

Wow. That's a great story.

Victoria Bennion: So

you started your fitness brand in 2017, so that means what was the pandemic

like for you?

Mark Fleming: Yeah.

The pathway with that is [00:03:00] that I did

in-home for two years and got a studio in 2019 which probably wasn't. A great

idea, hindsight being 2020 because the next year the pandemic happened which,

having to close down. Thankfully I lived in Florida at the time Florida was a

little more I.

Mark Fleming: Open to

businesses being opened up and everything. I was shut down for almost three

months, which was devastating. Had to, take out loans and everything to keep it

afloat. Had to move back home with my parents. Then dealing with a disabled

population, it's, it was hit or miss.

Mark Fleming: Some

people were like, yes, we're back. But a lot of the population due to having

chronic issues autoimmune disorders, stuff like that was very weary of going

back into the public. Having to. Go virtual and do things a little differently

in the studio than I did before. Just to [00:04:00]

manage all that craziness.

Victoria Bennion:

That's good that you did manage and it's now in the past.

Mark Fleming: It was

crazy for a little bit, everything happens for a reason.

Natalie Tealdi: Yeah,

absolutely. You've coached for the Special Olympics, which is for individuals

with intellectual disabilities. It's separate from Paralympics. What was that

experience like for you?

Mark Fleming: It was

interesting but rewarding. So with my background, there's not a lot of

volunteers that have my background, so I was able to expand on the area that I

was in so that the individuals had great success. I think every athlete that I

coached that went to state games, which I. You weren't guaranteed to go to

state games. It was a raffle. But every athlete I went got gold at state, so it

was very rewarding that way. And I was able to introduce some concepts and

things at the local level that they didn't think [00:05:00]

about. Because again, I. Having a sports background, I was able to understand

things a little differently than volunteers that didn't have that.

Mark Fleming: Very

rewarding that I got to help these athletes improve to a point where they were

succeeding and then rewarding that I could help the coaches as well....

 This week we are discussing Jamie Oliver's Channel four documentary Jamie's Dyslexia Revolution. We found this programme hugely impactful and we felt compelled to discuss the critical issues it raises about dyslexia, the shortcomings of our education system and how it affects neurodivergent children.

Dyslexia as a Brain Difference: Understanding that dyslexia is a brain difference rather than a lack of intelligence can be transformative. It shifts the narrative from feeling inadequate to recognising unique cognitive strengths and learning styles.

Impact of Early Screening: Early screening in schools can significantly change the trajectory for neurodivergent children. Identifying dyslexia early allows for tailored support, helping children feel understood and empowered rather than left behind.

Need for Teacher Training: The lack of adequate training for teachers on neurodivergence can hinder a child's educational experience. Proper training equips educators with the tools to recognise and support diverse learning needs, fostering a more inclusive classroom environment.

Importance of Advocacy: Advocacy plays a crucial role in driving change within the education system. By voicing concerns and pushing for better resources and support, parents can help create a more equitable environment for all children.

Empowering Children: Empowering children and celebrating their strengths is vital for their self-esteem. When children feel valued for who they are, they are more likely to thrive and develop a positive self-image.

Watch and share the documentary here

Let’s get the word out. Share it with friends, family – anyone who needs to see what’s really going on.

Tell the Secretary of State, Bridget Phillipson

Post on Twitter/X (@bphillipsonMP) or Instagram (@bridgetphillipsonmp) using #ComeOnBridget. Tell her what’s happening, what needs to change – and why kids can’t wait. 

Write to your MP

Let them know you’re part of Jamie’s Dyslexia Revolution. Ask them to stand up in Parliament and speak out for change. Jamie has templates and tips here, but Jamie says your own story is the most powerful thing you can share.

https://theautismmums.com/

Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums

Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums

Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums

Episode 15 Insights from Jamie Oliver's Dyslexia Revolution

​[00:00:00]

Hello and welcome to the Autism Mums podcast. I'm Victoria. And I'm Natalie. We are two sisters raising autistic children who know the joy, the challenges, and the everyday moments. This is a supportive space for honest conversations, practical tips, shared strength and expert advice.

Whether you are celebrating a win, surviving a meltdown, or just

trying to make it through the day, we are right here with you.

Join us as we share the ups, the downs, and everything in between parenting autistic children.

Today we are discussing Jamie Oliver's Channel four documentary Jamie's Dyslexia Revolution. We found this program hugely impactful and we felt compelled to discuss the critical issues it raises about dyslexia, the shortcomings of our education system, and how it affects neurodivergent [00:01:00] children.

Victoria Bennion: This morning I finished watching Jamie Oliver's

dyslexia revolution, and this was after Natalie, you told me that I

really needed to watch it when it came out, and I knew that you'd

seen it. And I can see why you said that it was really important. So we just thought we would chat round for anyone who hasn't seen it or even if you have seen it, some of the issues that were covered is for anyone who's worried right now that their child is being left behind.

Natalie Tealdi: It got me all riled up.

Victoria Bennion: Yeah, it did. I think it highlights again, what

is wrong with the school system, what's failing our children?

So. What is dyslexia? Yes, dyslexia is a brain difference. It's not a lack of intelligence, but unfortunately a lot of people with dyslexia can end up feeling like they're stupid or they're dumb.

This was something that the program highlighted because they don't learn in the same way as others.

Natalie Tealdi: You could see how emotional Jamie Oliver was when

he was just talking about what his school days were like, and you

think how much time has [00:02:00] passed and how successful he is.

Yet that still leaves such a mark.

Victoria Bennion: It's shocking that children of such a young at

age can believe that they're stupid. They just have a brain

difference. They're talented. They've got so much to offer, but that

isn't being celebrated and they're not being made to feel that. It's

highlighting to them because of the way of the education system, the

way of the teaching, that they can't access that.

I guess there's something wrong with you that you're not worthy, and that was also highlighted in the children that he spoke to, which is just so sad and so wrong.

Natalie Tealdi: There was that boy they were talking to, and they

were asking him how he felt about the future and he just said

hopeless.

Victoria Bennion: Awful. A child of that age should not be feeling

that their future is hopeless. There needs to be steps to change it.

I worked with a client, who had written a book on dyslexia last year,

and I know that there are moves to raise awareness and there was some really interesting statistics, which again, Jamie Oliver touched on

in the program. 50% of the [00:03:00] prison population were dyslexic.

Natalie Tealdi: That's correct. Yeah. That is huge, isn't it?

You just think if there was screening in schools at a young age, what impact that could have, like how much of that 50% would go in a different direction

Victoria Bennion: absolutely, and I know From the work that I've been

involved in that a very high percentage of entrepreneurs are also

dyslexic, which shows that there's something there that can be tapped

into. The book that my client had written was all about the Dyslexic

Edge, I know that he was involved with Richard Branson, who was

raising awareness of this, I very much feel.

Like you following the documentary that Jamie Oliver did, that if you could get it right at the primary school age for these children, it would make a difference to so many lives to society is these children have so much to offer.

Natalie Tealdi: I know. That's the thing. We shouldn't be casting

people aside 'cause they're not fitting into a box.

And that goes for all neurodivergent. Conditions.

Victoria Bennion: Yeah, and it's [00:04:00] a societal norm, I think our friend Carl would say, and it's just something that we've created, so we need to uncreate it. We need to do better for our children. Something that I found interesting as well about dyslexia is there's often a co-occurrence of another neurodevelopmental condition such as autism, A DHD and developmental language disorder.

Jamie Oliver is advocating for early screening and improved training for teachers on neurodiversity, because with dyslexia included, they believe that up to 25% of a class would be neurodivergent

Natalie Tealdi: and that's a massive chunk of a classroom,

Victoria Bennion: a massive chunk of a classroom who's not being

catered to, who has got needs that aren't being met and are being

failed.

Natalie Tealdi: And also it's not fair on the teachers, they

haven't been trained. So they have a classroom and 25% of them.

They dunno how to support.

Victoria Bennion: That's it. A hundred percent. It really shocked

me [00:05:00] when they talked about the amount of training that a teacher receives in Neurodivergence. So it was something ridiculous like four to five hours out of their whole three year training course.

Natalie Tealdi: If you think of how much we as parents have researched to be able to support our children, how many hours we've spent on courses and reading. We are living it, and they're teachers who are working in this environment and they don't have anywhere near enough knowledge.

Victoria Bennion: And there's a scene where Jamie Oliver is at the

house as a parliament and he's talking to mps and the woman comes up to him and she was a teacher and she acknowledged, having children in her class who. Would have not been having

their needs met. So it's great that he's raising awareness of that.

But that's a high number of children every year.

Natalie Tealdi: It is.

Victoria Bennion: I think we can talk a little bit about our own

experiences here. I know I've said before, I was very aware of one of

my children when he was in [00:06:00]

reception that a small group of...

In this week’s episode of The Autism Mums Podcast, we talk openly about what happens when eating stops feeling simple and starts feeling scary. We unpack ARFID (Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder) and explore how it differs from 'picky eating, sharing our real-life experiences.

• Identical packaging and familiar brands can build trust.
• Safe foods can be very limited, for some children under 10 items
• When anxiety spikes with transitions like back-to-school often shrink food choices.
• “They’ll eat if they’re hungry” advice can escalate fear and refusal.
• Texture, temperature, smell, colour and broken food can be deal-breakers.
• We've found reintroducing once-safe foods during calm periods and follow the child’s curiosity can sometimes be successful

BEAT Eating Disorders

ARFID Awareness UK

National Autistic Society

Website – https://theautismmums.com/

Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums

Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums

Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums

Victoria Bennion:

Hello and welcome back to the Autism Moms podcast. Today we're talking about

something that many families quietly battle with every day. When eating stops

feeling simple and starts feeling scary. You'll hear us mention ARFID quite a

lot.

Natalie Tealdi: ARFID

is avoidant restrictive food intake disorder, which is more commonly known as

ARFID. It's a condition characterized by , the person avoiding certain foods or

types of foods having restricted intake in terms of overall amount eaten or

both?

Any anyone of any age can have a i. It occurs in children,

teenagers, and adults. Although people with ARFID may lose weight or have low

weight, this is not a criteria for ARFID. It can occur at any weight and varies

in different people.

Victoria Bennion: If

you are wondering, is this just picky eating? We'll talk about a few signposts

that could indicate it may be more. We'll share our family's [00:01:00] experiences and the ways we found to

support our children. As always, we are here to share our own experiences in

the hope that they may be useful.

Not to diagnose. If anything you hear raises concerns, do speak

with your GP or a qualified clinician.

Natalie Tealdi: So

Victoria, I think you have the best knowledge out of both of us on this one. Do

you wanna talk a bit about your

experiences?

Victoria Bennion:

Yeah. I can talk about our experiences. So my son doesn't have a diagnosis of a

ARFID, but in his autism diagnosis, he's noted as having ARFID behaviors. This

was explained to me as the reason was there very strict criteria that a child

had to meet to actually get a diagnosis of ARFID.

That you can have behaviors and a lot of autistic children are

affected by a ARFID,

And so this is because. Many autistic people experience sensory

issues and sensory [00:02:00] overload, and

that then leads to a heightened sensitivity when it comes to eating, resulting

in the symptoms and behaviors of ARFID.

Natalie Tealdi: How

would you say, you know, if it's picky eating or if it's ARFID?

Victoria Bennion: I

can talk about that with my son. If you're looking at your child, and are

wondering if this is more than picky eating, so things to be aware of or are

they avoiding major food groups? I know my son certainly was. So fruit, meat,

vegetables are they reacting to the different temperatures?

Are they having sensitivity to the textures? Could they be

gagging, retching? Have they gone over that spell of, they're not toddlers

anymore. They may be plus six. That's something to consider. And if their diet

is limited, I believe it's to less than 10 foods. That's another indicator of

ARFID or a behaviors.

Perhaps not noticing that they're hungry. I know that's

something my son certainly struggles with, [00:03:00]

identifying that he's hungry or just missing meals entirely. Avoiding food at

social events or avoiding social events where there is food Parties were always

so difficult for us. We would never sit at the food table.

We would have to go well away from that. Thank you very much.

Struggling to stay at the table during meal times.

In terms of timeline. I think he was about one and a half what

he would eat really narrowed. But that's quite common for this sage group and

it's often called food neo phobia. And I took him to the doctor at the time,

and I was just told that he would outgrow it. It was picky

eating. It was very normal for this stage of development. I don't know. I went

with that at the time. I was a bit uneasy about it. The things that he was

eating were waffles and I think it was probably fish finger. I've got this

written down somewhere because we did take him to an occupational therapist at

the time because it was really concerning.

We didn't think [00:04:00] he

was eating enough. The only fruit he would eat was raspberries at that time.

And then interestingly, it had to be a specific number of raspberries. And he

clearly was very anxious around eating. It was real anxiety about eating foods.

So he just said the same thing over and over every day.

I think the GP said to me that around five, he would've

outgrown it. And it was before that we took him to the occupational therapist.

'cause she's the one that gave me quite an interesting assessment, which I

didn't realize at the time that she must have been thinking along the autism

lines.

'cause she observed a lot of other things in his behavior and

when I went back to that, when we were going through the diagnosis process

yeah, it was interesting to see what she picked up, like lining up the toys,

grouping them by order of color, things like that. But in terms of the food, so

she gave us some tips at that time and it was to try to get him to play with

food. Touch [00:05:00] food. So I remember we

used to do it, we used to get different bowls out of different textured foods,

and it was really me playing with it. He would touch it a bit, but the idea was

that eventually he would, get some under his hands and lick it. But he never

did.

He never did. So his diet really didn't expand from what it was

about one and a half. Still principally the same things he eats at 11.

There has been some expansion, but we've also lost some safe

foods, but it's not hugely different.

Natalie Tealdi: Okay.

And so when it came to the early stages of when it was all

changing and his foods were reducing, what sort of behaviors were you seeing

then? Was he getting upset

Victoria Bennion:

Really upset about the food and just fully refusing, but yet very upset with

the refusing. His speech was delayed so he didn't have any words to be able to

tell us. I dunno if you remember when we went to Florida, so he was almost two,

[00:06:00] this was when it was very noticeable

and I remember before we left being so worried about what he would eat over

there. And we went to the supermarket when we got there and bought Oreos. He

was eating Oreos, still eats Oreos, and he would eat chips and sometimes he

would eat chicken nuggets at that point. So that's mainly what he had the whole

time we were there. I do remember there was one day where he tried a cube of

watermelon,

Natalie Tealdi: Okay.

Victoria Bennion:

That was it.

And as I said, he didn't speak at that time, so he couldn't

communicate. Exactly what the problems were. I was thinking because he had some

food sensitivities that they seem to run in our family for dairy. So we had

trouble with dairy and I was wondering if it was anything related, it was maybe

food allergy line at that point, at about one and a half, but I think that was

just separate.

Natalie Tealdi: And

do you find the appearance of food makes a difference to him?

Victoria Bennion:

Yes, there's a [00:07:00] huge difference. So

there was, when he was in reception they were doing an activity with potatoes

and they were making it into faces,

In this week’s episode of The Autism Mums Podcast, we’re talking about the UK Government's proposed SEND reforms and what they might mean for families like ours.

Understanding EHCPs: An EHCP (Education, Health and Care Plan) is a legal document that outlines a child's special educational needs and the necessary support for their educational journey.

Rising Demand: The number of EHCPs has significantly increased, with 638,745 in place as of January 2025, reflecting a 10.8% rise from the previous year, highlighting the growing demand for support.

Concerns About Reforms: There is considerable concern that the upcoming SEND reforms may reduce support rather than improve the system, especially given the government’s acknowledgment that local authorities are struggling to meet demand.

Legal Protections: Many families fear that proposed changes could eliminate essential legal protections currently provided by EHCPs, which are crucial for ensuring children receive the support they need.

Impact of Delays: Families often experience delays in securing EHCPs, with only 46.4% of new plans issued within the statutory timeframe of 20 weeks, leading to unmet educational needs.

Emotional Toll on Families: The process of securing an EHCP can be overwhelming, contributing to stress and burnout for families, who often feel they are fighting an uphill battle for their children's rights.

Consequences of Exclusion: Statistics indicate that permanent exclusions from schools have risen by 39%, disproportionately affecting children with SEND and leading to significant emotional and academic consequences.

Teacher Training Needs: Many teachers report a lack of adequate training to support children with SEND, impacting classroom management and the overall learning environment.

Investment in Support: Investing in early support and adequate resources for both children and educators is essential for fostering a productive and inclusive educational environment.

Call to Action: Parents and carers are encouraged to advocate for their children's needs by engaging with local MPs, participating in consultations, and joining community efforts like the Fight for Ordinary SEND Rally to ensure their voices are heard.

Website – https://theautismmums.com/

Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums

Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums

Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums

Victoria Bennion: [00:00:00] Today

we're talking about a topic that's been on many parents' minds, the

UK government's proposed send reforms, and what they might mean

for families like ours.

Natalie Tealdi: To start things off, let's define what an EHCP is

and why it matters. An EHCP or Education, health and Care plan is a

legal document that outlines a child's special educational needs and

the support that they must receive at school and beyond.

Victoria

Bennion: Yeah. The thing is that these plans are essential

because they ensure that children receive the necessary support to

thrive. However, the possibility of eh HCPs being scrapped has like

understandably left so many of us feeling anxious about the future of

our children. Eh, HCPs aren't often something that are easy to get

and a lot of families have fought really hard to secure them.

Natalie

Tealdi: So what's changing? The government has stated that

the send system is on its knees and that local authorities are

struggling to meet. Demand [00:01:00]

reforms are expected to be announced in October, but there's

considerable concern among parents and professionals that these

changes could reduce support rather than address existing problems.

Victoria

Bennion: Yeah, that's a significant worry. An EHCP is a

legally binding document that ensures children and young people with

special educational needs in England receive appropriate support from

their local authority. It's vital for their educational journey and

overall wellbeing.

Natalie

Tealdi: Definitely full details of the proposed changes

are due in October, but ministers have not ruled out scrapping the

education plans altogether, insisting that no decisions have been

made yet. This uncertainty is particularly troubling, especially in

light of recent welfare changes prompted by a rebellion among back

bench labor mps.

The education secretary

indicated that this has made future spending decisions harder, which

just adds to the anxiety

Victoria

Bennion: right, and, the numbers tell a compelling

[00:02:00] story. Data from the

Department for Education released in June showed that the number of

EH HCPs had increased significantly in January, 2025. There were ,

638,745 eh HCPs in place, reflecting a 10.8% increase from the

previous year.

Natalie

Tealdi: and it doesn't end there. The number of new plans

initiated during 2024 grew by 15.8% compared to the previous year

reaching 97,747. Requests for children to be assessed for eh HCPs

rose by 11.8% to 154,489 in 2023. Just illustrating the increasing

demand for support, which local authorities are struggling to manage.

Victoria

Bennion: A spokesperson from the Department for Education

has attempted to reassure us stating we have been clear that there

are no [00:03:00] plans to abolish, send

Tribunals, or to remove funding or support from children, families,

and schools. However, many of us remain skeptical given the ongoing

challenges.

And earlier today, Nat, you

sent me the response to the government's petition that we signed, the

retain legal right to assessment and support in education for

children with SEND. I think what's really important here is reading

between the lines in what they say. So you know, they open with.

There will always be a legal right to additional support for children

with Send.

No decisions have been made on

changes to legislation. We are engaging with families on improvements

to send provision as part of our Plan for Change. We're determined to

improve the system of support for children with Send and their

families. We are working to restore families' trust by ensuring early

years schools and post 16 settings have the tools to better identify

and meet need earlier, and ensure more children and young [00:04:00]

people can receive their education in inclusive, mainstream settings

with their peers.

We are committed to. I think

this is the bit you willing need to listen to ensuring a legal right

to additional support for children and young people with sand,

ensuring all children and young people have the support they need to

achieve and thrive improving inclusivity and expertise in mainstream

schools, as well as ensuring swift access to special schools for

children and young people with the most complex needs.

That's what's causing me

massive concern. That sounds to me that . Only children that are

deemed to have complex needs deemed by whom you know, and the rest is

the plan just to keep them in mainstream school because I very much

doubt that my son or even your son And many other children would be

deemed to have complex needs.

Neither can they access

[00:05:00] mainstream schools. So where

does that leave them? I will carry on and, and read the rest of the

letter. So the next bullet point and we are committed to is restoring

confidence in the system of support for children and young people

with send so that they all get the chance to achieve and thrive in

their education.

Any changes we make will

improve support for families, stop parents from having to fight for

support and protect effective support currently in place. Details of

the government's intended approach to strengthening the Send System

will be set out in a school's white paper in the autumn. As part of

developing our approach, we are working with parents and young people

organizations, which represent parents, local authorities, send

organizations and education settings across the country as well as

sector experts, we share the widespread view that improvements to the

send system are badly needed. The forthcoming consultation on the

white paper [00:06:00] will be key to

shaping the reforms of the send system so that every child and young

person so achieve and thrive, and we continue to break down barriers

to...

In this week’s episode of The Autism Mums Podcast, we’re talking about the big transition back to school after the summer holidays.

• Early signs of school anxiety often show up in unexpected ways, like food refusal or “I’m not going back” language.
• Preparation can be supportive—but too much talk or change too far in advance can fuel anxiety instead.
• Creating “worry boundaries” helps keep August feeling like summer rather than weeks of dread.
• New timetables, new staff, and classroom changes can be huge triggers—meet-and-greets and phased starts make a difference.
• Reduced demands can ease pressure, but they need to be handled carefully so they don’t harden into new rigid routines.
• Safe foods and small wins (like trips to McDonald’s) can tide children over through anxiety spikes.
• Parents need realistic self-care—short breaks, slower mornings, or supportive rituals—to stay resilient.
• Trust and reassurance are more powerful than pressure: children need to know they won’t be forced into situations they can’t cope with.

Victoria talked about her experience with Emotional Freedom Technique (tapping) for anxiety with her client, psychotherapist and Founding EFT Master Carol Look. You can learn more about Carol's work at www.carollook.com

This week we’re so grateful to share a message from Kirsty, one of our listeners:

“...I just wanted you both to know you’ve become a lifeline to me with tips that actually work. Please keep going ladies! One not-so-stressed-out mom thanks to you both. Thank you for being open, honest and willing to share. It makes the world of difference to know we aren’t alone.”

Warmest wishes,

Kirsty & T 💛

Website – https://theautismmums.com/

Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums

Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums

Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums

[00:00:00] Hello and welcome to

the Autism Mums podcast. I'm Victoria. And I'm Natalie. We are two sisters

raising autistic children who know the joy, the challenges, and the everyday

moments. This is a supportive space for honest conversations, practical tips,

shared strength and expert advice. Whether you are celebrating a win, surviving

a meltdown, or just trying to make it through the day, we are right here with

you.

Join us as we share the ups, the downs, and everything in

between parenting autistic children.

Victoria Bennion:

Welcome back to the Autism Moms Podcast. In today's episode, we're talking about the transition back to school after the summer holidays.

Natalie Tealdi:

But before we get started, we just want to share a lovely letter we had from our listener, Kirsty, with her permission. Messages like this remind us why these conversations are so important. Here's what Kirsty wrote:

‘Firstly, thank you so much for doing this podcast! I find it incredibly easy to listen to, full of practical tips to help my child and very informative. While we don't have an official diagnosis yet, my three-year-old son ticks many of the ASD boxes as well as having a bit of a PDA spiky profile. I knew something wasn’t quite right when he was a year old, but pushed it to the back of my mind until it became obvious.

Struggles with food, sleep issues, needing deep pressure hugs and weighted blankets, problems socialising, very sensitive hearing and huge problems with transitions — the list goes on! Luckily, his speech and language hasn’t been affected apart from a bit of echolalia when he’s excited or stressed.

I just wanted you both to know you’ve become a lifeline to me with tips that actually work. Please keep going ladies! One not-so-stressed-out mom thanks to you both. Thank you for being open, honest and willing to share. It makes the world of difference to know we aren’t alone.

Victoria Bennion:

Thanks so much, Kirsty and t. If Kirsty's words resonated with you, do know

that there are so many of us walking this path together, and like Kirsty, if

you'd ever like to share your story with us, big or small, we'd love to hear

from you. [00:01:00] Right?

Natalie Tealdi: How

was your summer?

Victoria Bennion: Our

summer was really good for, I'm trying to think, four weeks. Yeah, our summer

was really good for about four weeks. I know we, we, so we have our opposite

experiences, don't we? So mine was nice and light until about a week and a half

ago, I would say.

Victoria Bennion: And

that's when for one of my children, the anxiety of back to school starts.

Natalie Tealdi: And

then what does that look like?

Victoria Bennion: Do

you know the first signs probably was that he started talking about how he

wasn't going back, isn't going back. Quite graphic really, and it is not just,

I'd rather not go with back, it's, I'd rather die than go back.

Victoria Bennion:

That kind of extreme, language stopped eating dinner. So you can see all the

signs that the anxiety's really rising in him.

Natalie Tealdi: It's

great he's communicating it though, isn't it?

Victoria Bennion:

Yeah it's really great that he's not holding it all [00:02:00]

in. And then the other ways that shows up is.

Victoria Bennion:

That the things he was coping really well with for those four weeks, when it

was summer, holiday day, bliss, you know, all the pressure's off and he was

happy. I think I talked about in the previous episode, we'd managed to go to a

normal screening at the cinema and we'd managed to go out and about quite a

bit.

Victoria Bennion:

Things that he wanted to, but he was chatty, sociable. Coping with things

better than normal. So it was quite hard to see that anxiety for him come back

hard. I booked another trip to the cinema. There were things I did wrong here,

there was another film he wanted to see the Jurassic World Rebirth film.

Victoria Bennion: I

thought we would give that a go and I thought. It's almost like it lulls you

into a false sense of security. We did it once. We're on a roll, if this is all

okay now, no, it's not all okay now, and it's a [00:03:00]

different day and it's a different week. So all the preparation that I did that

first time to get him into the cinema, I shortcutted it.

Victoria Bennion: I

suppose. I didn't give enough notice. It wasn't on the calendar. Even though we

discussed it verbally, it wasn't on the calendar so he couldn't see it. So that

gave him an issue to start with. We booked the seats, but we only booked them

the day before. We did look again at the map and choose the seats, but when it

came to the day, he was obviously feeling very anxious because as far as he's

concerned, school's now approaching, and so it made everything worse.

Victoria Bennion:

That morning he said, I can't go. I want to go, but I can't go. So I had to do

a lot of coaxing. Got into the car, got to car park, couldn't get out of the

car. Lot of coaxing got into the cinema, collected the drinks, got up to the

screen, [00:04:00] couldn't go through the door

to the screen. He did.

Victoria Bennion:

Eventually, all I said was. Try it. It's the same seats, it's the same screen

that we went to a couple of weeks ago. Same rule if you're not coping, if you

want to leave, we can leave. One of the things that he said to me. I won't be

able to tell you if I'm not coping.

Victoria Bennion: I

will just sit there and feel really bad and that is something that I know that

he struggles with. It's the internalizing it and he'll go into freeze and it's

not always obvious to anybody else.

Natalie Tealdi: Do

you know,

Victoria Bennion: I

would look for signs that he wasn't responding or I was gonna say biting nails.

That's fairly common. That's something he would do. It doesn't necessarily mean

he was at that really awful shutdown point. I hope I would know I was keeping a

close eye on him, but he was okay.

Victoria Bennion:

Luckily once we got in there, he was enjoying the film. It was more, he was

talking to me about the plot the whole way through and I was [00:05:00] like, say not too loud. So it was okay,

but after that he said he was never leaving the house again, so we were back

to, that's more of a normal pattern that I see unfortunately in his anxiety.

Victoria Bennion: He

did that, but there was absolutely no way he was contemplating leaving the

house. I...

We're so grateful this week to be joined by Kate Lynch. Kate is a somatic mindfulness coach dedicated to creating a kinder, more inclusive future for all families. Since 2002, she has supported thousands of parents around the world with mindfulness, self-compassion, and somatic movement, helping them avoid burnout while raising their neurodivergent children.

Kate shares some really valuable insights and practical advice that we hope will resonate with you.

Kate Lynch (she/her) is a somatic mindfulness coach on a mission to create a kinder, more inclusive future. Since 2002, she has supported thousands of parents internationally with mindfulness, self-compassion, and somatic movement, so they can enjoy raising their neurodivergent kids and avoid parental burnout. She facilitates Parent Support Groups for Extreme Kids and Parent Clubs for Good Inside. Kate is author of the upcoming book, Atypical Kids, Mindful Parents: The joys and struggles of raising neurodivergent kids. She has been featured in ADDitude Magazine, Mutha Magazine, Autism Parenting Magazine, and more. Her little neurodiverse family lives in Brooklyn, NY.

Understanding Somatic Mindfulness: Somatic mindfulness focuses on the mind-body connection, emphasising self-care and emotional regulation through body awareness.

The Impact of Parenting on Children: Parents' emotional states, such as anxiety or stress, can significantly affect their neurodivergent children, highlighting the importance of parental self-regulation.

Mindfulness Practices for Parents: Simple mindfulness techniques, such as feeling the soles of your feet on the ground, can be integrated into daily routines to support emotional well-being.

Community Support: Connecting with other parents is invaluable. Sharing experiences and advice can empower you and provide essential resources.

Advocacy and Navigating Educational Systems: Understanding your rights and advocating for your child’s needs in educational settings is crucial, as parents often face systemic challenges.

The Role of the Vagus Nerve: The vagus nerve plays a vital role in regulating stress responses and emotional states, influencing how we react to situations.

The Therapeutic Nature of Activities: Engaging in activities like surfing or working with animals can be therapeutic for neurodivergent children, providing joy and confidence.

Email: kate@healthyhappyyoga.com

Substack: https://katelynch.substack.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/selfregulatedparent

Mindful Meltdown Cheat Sheet:

4 quick and simple mindfulness tools just for parents of neurodivergent kids

4 meltdown essentials based on core values. 

https://www.healthyhappyyoga.com/meltdown

or 1 month trial membership: https://katelynch.substack.com/month

https://theautismmums.com/

Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums

Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums

Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums

Natalie Tealdi: 

Hi, it's Natalie. Unfortunately, I was unable to be in today's interview, but before we begin, I wanted to take a moment to introduce our brilliant guest.

Victoria Bennion:

That's right! Today, I'm thrilled to welcome Kate Lynch. Kate is a somatic mindfulness coach dedicated to creating a kinder, more inclusive future for all families. Since 2002, she has supported thousands of parents around the world with mindfulness, self-compassion, and somatic movement, helping them avoid burnout while raising their neurodivergent children.

Natalie Tealdi: 

If you've ever felt overwhelmed or uncertain on your parenting journey, this episode could really help you. Kate has some really practical advice that could be easily implemented into your daily life.

So, let’s hand over to Victoria and Kate!

Victoria Bennion: [00:00:00] Hello and

welcome to the podcast, Kate. It's great to have you here today.

Kate Lynch: Thanks. It's so great to be here, Victoria.

Victoria Bennion: So you are a somatic mindfulness coach, I

believe. Did I say that right?

Kate Lynch: You said it perfectly. And the reason I use the big

word somatic, which a lot of people ask what that means, it just

means of the body. I've been a yoga teacher for over 20 years, and

these days, a lot of times people don't understand, they really take

that as like a kind of a gym exercise teacher.

And what I do is much more

about the mind body connection about self-care and specifically

serving parents who are really struggling with how to even begin to

focus on themselves. They may be neurodivergent themselves or just

really struggling with this unexpected change of having a child with

a neurodivergent brain.

What I was doing before when I

first [00:01:00] started teaching is

very, very different from what I'm doing now and it's more

therapeutic. So that's why I use that. That word somatic mindfulness

coach. 'cause it's not just about staying in your head, it is really

about bringing it into our body so our nervous system can help us

regulate our emotions.

Victoria Bennion: I have heard the term before, but I wasn't sure

of what it meant, so thank you very much for explaining that.

So how did your work evolve

into focusing on helping parents?

Kate Lynch: I was a yoga teacher for about 10 years, and then I

had my son, I have one. It was pretty late in life and we struggled

with fertility, so I felt very prepared. I had been teaching prenatal

yoga and parent baby yoga for a really long time, had my son and

things were really different than I expected.

He was. Someone who had a lot

of needs very early on. We [00:02:00]

didn't know about colic, but it kind of felt like that. And then he

had a lot of needs but not a need for sleep. And I had him at 41. I

had a very hard time that first year because I did not sleep more

than two hours at a stretch.

Victoria

Bennion: I can

relate to that.

Kate

Lynch: yeah, I know that her parents can't

and it, it nearly broke me. It

really felt that way. So I sat my husband down after one year and I

said, let's make absolutely sure that we don't have another child.

One. And done couldn't. I didn't know if I could survive it. So

raising ocean has been a little like raising two or three kids, I

think. And our family feels very complete now.

So bringing it back around to

my career. I really put it on autopilot. It took the first six months

to just be with him, and then I would take him to my classes and, my

career was on autopilot for a while when my [00:03:00]

son was younger, because luckily I had been doing the job for a long

time. I could just drop him off and teach a class and pick him up

and. It all worked out pretty well.

We would raise home for naps

and I was really trying to keep him on a routine because I found

that, routine really helped him.

And then parents started

asking me, parents of neurodivergent kids started to find me and ask

me advice. And I had been a trusted family educator for a while as a

prenatal and postpartum yoga teacher, and it just felt like the most

natural next thing to do to start teaching parents how to use

mindfulness and how I had gone from feeling nearly broken to

remembering some of my very basic mindfulness techniques.

I distilled them into small

drops that I could use while I was with my [00:04:00]

son, not separately, not having to check out for hours at a time to

go do yoga in another room, because that just wasn't possible. So my

meditation and my mindfulness and my. Body-based practices became

part of our rituals, our routines, our life, and that is what kept me

afloat those first couple of years, was just really relying on those

little tiny practices, like even feeling the soles of your feet on

the floor.

Very simple little things like

that. So that evolved. I'm also a writer and that evolved into

writing a book and beginning to work with parents in the community

and one-on-one.

Victoria

Bennion: Can you

tell me

a little bit about your book?

Kate

Lynch: 2019 there was a call from this autism publisher

if. Anyone had any ideas for books and I just wrote them a simple

paragraph...

In this week’s episode of The Autism Mums Podcast, we’re diving into the reality of summer holidays when your autistic child thrives on school routine. Natalie shares how her son, who has been doing brilliantly during term time, has found the transition to the long break unexpectedly tough - from meltdowns and aggressive behaviours to disrupted sleep during a melatonin break. We talk about pacing activities, managing sensory needs, and finding that fine balance between structure and rest.

How losing the school routine can trigger heightened anxiety and challenging behaviours and why this is so common for autistic children.

How disrupted sleep, including during a melatonin break, can ripple through the day and impact mood, patience, and coping ability.

How favourite activities and special interests like metal detecting, magnet fishing, and trampoline time can help regulate emotions.

Pacing social interaction and physical activity to avoid sensory overload or burnout during the holidays.

How visual tools like Google Maps and travel timers can reduce anxiety during car journeys and transitions.

Managing expectations around events and invitations from saying 'no' to busy festivals to choosing carefully between activities that may or may not be accessible.

How preparation can help make big days out go more smoothly.

Blue Badge

Website – https://theautismmums.com/

Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums

Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums

Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums

[00:00:00] Hello and welcome to

the Autism Mums podcast. I'm Victoria. And I'm Natalie. We are two sisters

raising autistic children who know the joy, the challenges, and the everyday

moments. This is a supportive space for honest conversations, practical tips,

shared strength and expert advice. Whether you are celebrating a win, surviving

a meltdown, or just trying to make it through the day, we are right here with

you.

Join us as we share the ups, the downs, and everything in

between parenting autistic children.

Victoria Bennion:

Today, we're talking about something that so many parents of autistic children

will understand, and that's why the summer holidays can feel like the hardest

part of the year. We're gonna talk about what's been going on in our homes this

summer, from unexpected meltdowns to sleep struggles, and the ripple effect of

losing that familiar school routine.

Victoria Bennion:

We'll be sharing our real life [00:01:00]

stories, the strategies that have helped, and the moments that have truly

tested us. If you are navigating the ups and downs of the school holidays, you

are absolutely not alone. We are right here in it with you.

Natalie Tealdi: One

thing that's come up for us is our son has been coping so well. During term

time, so well at school, absolutely loving school. He's been doing so well and

it's been quite surprising how tricky he's finding the holidays.

Natalie Tealdi: It's

always a time of year that he struggles with, but he's gone from being able to

cope quite well when he's stressed to. Not coping so well and we're seeing

aggressive behaviors again, which we haven't seen for months. So it is taken me

by surprise a little bit.

Victoria Bennion:

What's he reacting to? What do you think is causing him the problem?

Natalie Tealdi: It's

being out of his routine. He just wants to be at school all the time. He likes

it. , He just feels comfortable there. That's his routine. That's [00:02:00] what we do Monday to Friday, and because

we're out of that, it's upsetting for him.

Victoria Bennion:

What do the summers look like in terms of structure?

Natalie Tealdi: We

haven't got a lot of structure. It can vary because some days he needs a lot of

rest. In the mornings he can be quite tired. We're going through a melatonin

break at the moment, so sleep is becoming difficult. He's not going to sleep

till really late now because he hasn't got anything to help him.

Victoria Bennion: Can

you talk about why you're having a melatonin break while we're on that?

Natalie Tealdi: Yeah,

so that was recommended by his pediatrician because we were noticing it wasn't

having such an effect anymore, which isn't apparently your, body gets used to

it, so. You do need to take breaks now and again for, for it to become

effective again. So we were at that point where bedtime was taking a long time

anyway, so we needed to have the break really, but now they're taking even

longer.

Natalie Tealdi: So he

is not really going to bed until we go to bed, which [00:03:00]

is really quite late. So he's more tired.

Victoria Bennion:

There'll be a lot of parents in the same position as you. I mean, we will be in

a couple of weeks. With the melatonin break, it's the most natural time to try

to do that if it's something that your child takes regularly. And we are

definitely gonna be planning a melatonin break as well.

Victoria Bennion: But

I'm gonna wait until I'm having a week where I'm not working because. I'm still

needed usually to sit there till he goes to sleep and I can't work early. I

usually get up quite early to get my work done so that I can take the

afternoons or a lot of the afternoons with the children in the holidays.

Victoria Bennion: I

want it to be the week that I don't have to get up early if I take that stress

off. But as you say, it adds to their sleep deprivation.

Natalie Tealdi: Yeah.

Victoria Bennion: So

what kind of things have you been doing with your son?

Natalie Tealdi: We

have to sort of gauge it. We are doing his special interests. So he likes to

metal detect, he likes to see magnet fishing, he likes water sports, like

paddle boarding, [00:04:00] kayaking.

Natalie Tealdi: So we

are doing all those sorts of things, but we're having to really gauge what he

can cope with during the day. Sometimes it's one activity. Sometimes he wants

to be doing activities all day and all night. He's gone back to so. It used to

be a daily routine of having pillow fights. When he feels hyper, he likes to

have a pillow fight.

Natalie Tealdi: It

helps him to regulate and calm down. And we've gone back to that, which can be

quite exhausting for us as the parents 'cause he needs someone to do it with. ,

He's on the trampoline an awful lot again. That needs a lot of supervision

'cause his sister likes to go on with him, but sometimes it, he can get a bit

too overexcited.

Natalie Tealdi: So it

needs a lot of monitoring.

Victoria Bennion:

It's good that he's got those outlets.

Natalie Tealdi: Oh,

definitely. Yeah. I mean he's, it's nothing like it was two years ago, don't

get me wrong. But it's just, it's just that he was doing so well. I thought

actually generally he was coping. Quite well overall, but it, [00:05:00] it's the holidays that we struggle with.

And I've noticed also, so we do have play dates with friends, but I think the

age that we're getting to now is some of his friends go off for play dates

without their parents there.

Natalie Tealdi: A

play date with my son? Requires parents to be present I definitely have to be

there. So I think we're at that stage where perhaps we are not gonna be the

first choice because other parents have a bit more flexibility and a bit more

freedom. Now there

Natalie Tealdi: kids

are getting older.

Victoria Bennion:

Yeah, so they have maybe friends over and then they're working or doing other

things, whereas it's entertaining you. It's, it's their time I suppose. It gets

tricky, doesn't it?

Natalie Tealdi: Yeah.

Yeah, I think so.

Natalie Tealdi: We've

looked into activities before and he is booked on a couple, just two, I think

in August. But again, we have to be very careful with that because he will

refuse to go to them. We have to choose really [00:06:00]

carefully.

Natalie Tealdi: And

it could be we get to the day on the ones that I've booked and paid for, that

he can't cope and...

We're joined by a really special guest this week, Tanya Kemp. Tanya is a registered counsellor and parent consultant specialising in neurodiversity trauma and the parent Child Connection. Tanya's own journey has equipped her with unique insights on supporting autistic children.

Tanya Kemp is a registered counsellor and parent consultant, specialising in neurodiversity, trauma, and parent-child connection. With over two decades of clinical experience and additional training in mindfulness, somatic work, and neurodiversity-affirming practice, she supports families raising autistic and neurodivergent children. Tanya is also a solo mum to her 11-year-old autistic daughter, and together they’re traveling the world—learning, living, and world-schooling along the way. Her lived experience, combined with global research and integrative therapeutic approaches, makes her a trusted and compassionate guide for families navigating neurodivergence.

Understanding Neurodiversity: Tanya emphasises the importance of recognising and embracing neurodiversity as a valuable aspect of human variation rather than a deficit.

Parent-Child Connections: Building strong relationships with autistic children involves active listening, empathy, and validation of their feelings and experiences.

Practical Strategies for Support: Tanya shares actionable techniques that parents can use to support their autistic children, including creating structured routines and sensory-friendly environments.

Empowering Families: She highlights the need for parents to feel empowered and informed, equipping them with the tools they need to advocate effectively for their children.

Celebrating Differences: Emphasising the uniqueness of each autistic child, Tanya encourages families to celebrate their strengths and individuality.

Community Support: The importance of finding and fostering community connections is crucial for both parents and children, providing a sense of belonging and shared experiences.

Navigating Challenges: Tanya discusses common challenges faced by families and offers insights on how to navigate them with resilience and positivity.

Education and Advocacy: She stresses the role of education in breaking down stereotypes and fostering a more inclusive society for neurodivergent individuals.

Self-Care for Parents: Tanya reminds parents to prioritise their own well-being, as caring for themselves enables them to better support their children.

Continuous Learning: The journey of understanding and supporting neurodiversity is ongoing, and Tanya encourages parents to remain open to learning and adapting as they grow alongside their children.

Website: https://www.tanyakemp.com/

Facebook - https://facebook.com/parentingautisticchildrenmatters

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/parentingautisticchildren/

LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/tanya-kemp-0b32022ab/

YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@parentingautisticchildren

A 5 day video series on the 5 things every parent should know when their child receives an autism diagnosis.

A free training for parents and carers on the autism brain through the lens that Tanya parents - a neurodiversity affirming lens that really shifts how parents and carers think about their child's day to day challenges and what kind of support they need. Also to understand the neurodiversity movement, ableism and be part of the solution for a better future for autistic people. 

You can access these offers via Tanya's website here: https://www.tanyakemp.com/

https://theautismmums.com/

Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums

Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums

Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums

[00:00:00]

Natalie Tealdi: Hi, it's Natalie. Unfortunately, I was unable to

be in today's interview, but before we begin, I just wanted to say

hello and let you know. It's a really good one. Hopefully you'll

agree

Victoria Bennion: That's right. Today I'm joined by a really

special guest, Tanya Kemp. Tanya is a registered counselor and parent

consultant specializing in neurodiversity trauma and the parent Child

Connection. Tanya's own journey has equipped her with unique insights

on supporting autistic children.

Natalie Tealdi: If you've ever felt overwhelmed or unsure in your

parenting journey, this episode has some really valuable, practical

advice and stories that we hope will be helpful to you.

Okay, let's hand over to

Victoria and Tanya.

Victoria Bennion: Welcome to the podcast, Tanya.

Tanya Kemp: Thank you so much. Thank you for having me.

Victoria Bennion: So you've taken quite an unconventional path, I

guess you would say, in supporting your daughter. So I wondered if

you could start by talking a little bit about your journey with her

and [00:01:00] how you found your way to

neurodiversity affirming parenting.

Tanya Kemp: My daughter was really young when I started noticing

differences in her. She was diagnosed autistic when she was just 17

months old, which is quite young. And by that stage I had already

done a master's in psychology and so I was quite attuned to

developmental milestones and what they would look like.

I'd been working with families

with multiple and complex needs already for about 10 years. So I was

already in the field but not specializing in autism in particular.

When she was diagnosed and we were. Basically directed by the

psychologist in terms of this is the therapy that you need to do.

It just didn't really resonate

with me. It just didn't feel to me like this is. What I wanted for my

daughter, you know, for in her terms of her long-term development and

her life. And so I started to dig really deep into all the autism

interventions and what therapy would look like and autism in

[00:02:00] particular.

And that kind of steered me on

a path of studying relationship development, intervention and DIR

floor time and Stuart Shanker self reg programs, which was all based

around. Relationships, development and nervous system safety. And

that path really got me into the circles of, really listening to

autistic adults and how autistic adults talk about their experience

of therapy and what that meant for them as adults now in the world.

So I was really very strongly

influenced by that. I spent hours and hours just reading autistic

adult experiences and then. I suppose with my background in

psychology, did a deep dive into the research and what people were

saying and was the gold standard and what they were really measuring

in those gold standard studies.

That's why I decided, what I'm

gonna go with meeting my daughter where she's at. Assuming that she's

competent, assuming that she is [00:03:00]

communicating even though it's different to what we would expect her

to do and yes. That's when I started practicing in this area.

And the more I practiced, the

more I learned from the families that I worked with. And that was

helpful because I was able to help families better, but I was able to

help my daughter better and understand her better. So it's been this

dual learning process, both to help others, but really essentially to

help my daughter.

Victoria Bennion: That's really fascinating, so useful that you had

that background as well.

Tanya Kemp: Yes, absolutely.

Victoria Bennion: Who or what would you say has the biggest impact

on autistic children's success?

Tanya Kemp: Parents. I think like every human being that comes

into this world, our parents or primary caregivers are the ones who

has most impact. Nobody. Knows their child better. Nobody is more

invested in their child. And it's always so interesting to me how

parents will doubt themselves in the beginning.

They'll think, oh, I need to

listen to all the professionals. I need to do what people [00:04:00]

tell me to do, even when often they will later say. That kind of went

against my gut instinct that went against what I really felt like I

needed to do. And sometimes, it can take years before parents

actually start to trust themselves, right?

Children learn through

relationship and those initial relationships, that first relationship

with the primary caregivers is the most impactful on a child's life,

I think.

Victoria Bennion: Yeah, that makes sense. And what you say...

In this episode of The Autism Mums Podcast, Victoria and Natalie share how they navigated their dad’s 80th birthday, which included family gatherings that came with lots of excitement, and its fair share of sensory challenges.

If family events sometimes leave you feeling anxious or wondering if it’s even worth the effort, this episode is for you.

How preparing in advance can ease anxiety - Visual supports like calendars, photos of the venue and explaining the schedule ahead of time helped both children feel more secure.

How respecting your child’s boundaries leads to better outcomes - Giving our children space and letting them decide if and when they’re ready made a big difference in their ability to cope.

How food doesn’t have to be the focus of the gathering - When meals are difficult, removing pressure and creating positive experiences around connection and play can still make the outing worthwhile.

How tech, sensory tools, and safe items can be lifelines - From ear defenders to iPads, bringing the right tools can help children stay regulated in unfamiliar or overwhelming settings.

How staying calm as a parent is so important - Holding your emotional ground can help avoid escalation and builds trust with your child.

Website - https://theautismmums.com/

Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums

Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums

Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums

[00:00:00] Hello and welcome to

the Autism Mums podcast. I'm Victoria. And I'm Natalie. We are two sisters

raising autistic children who know the joy, the challenges, and the everyday

moments. This is a supportive space for honest conversations, practical tips,

shared strength and expert advice. Whether you are celebrating a win, surviving

a meltdown, or just trying to make it through the day, we are right here with

you.

Join us as we share the ups, the downs, and everything in

between parenting autistic children.

Victoria Bennion:

This week we wanted to talk about something that so many of us find really

tricky, but often don't talk a lot about, and that's family gatherings.

 Last month was quite a

busy one for us. It was our dad's 80th birthday, and that meant a couple of big

family meals, which is lovely in theory, but if you have autistic children,

these events come with a whole lot more to consider. So in this episode,

Natalie and I are [00:01:00] sharing how we

approached these gatherings, what we did to prepare.

Our children, the moments that didn't go to plan and some of

the wins.

We know that autism is a spectrum and every child's needs and

reactions vary hugely, and of course, every family's journey looks different as

well, so take what's useful for you and leave the rest. Our hope is that by

sharing our stories, you'll feel a little more supported and maybe pick up a

few ideas to try.

So Nat, can you talk about how you prepared for the meals?

Natalie Tealdi: With

my son, I made sure he was aware so. A couple of weeks beforehand mentioned,

you know, it's Grandpa P's big birthday, and we're gonna be going out for two

meals. One is at a pub, which was near to where we live, so he is quite

familiar with that setting.

And then the other one was at a place that we, he has never

been to And it's a, a bit of a posh restaurant, isn't it?

Victoria Bennion:

Yeah, it's An old

manor

house.

Natalie Tealdi:

There's dressing up involved. [00:02:00] It's

just got a very different feel. So I showed him pictures of the place so he

could see what it was like, and I talked him through what it would be like

inside.

So first we'd have drinks in the lounge area, then we go into

another room to have our meal. And I showed him pictures of the gardens and you

know, we can have a look around the garden. So if if you need time to go

outside, you can do that. So that's really how I prepared him for it. What did

you do?

Victoria Bennion:

We've been before at Christmas with just a smaller group, so I didn't do a

whole lot to prepare. My child has a calendar, he's now 11, so that's. for him

as a visual aide. He finds the calendar helpful. What he wants to know is how

long we're going to be there, how long it's going to take to get there.

The biggest stress for him. Was always going to be the food.

It's always the food. We'd pre-ordered the food. They're very flexible. Very, [00:03:00] very good. So There's an adult menu, which

I think when our mom and dad used to take us when we were young, we just

ordered off the adult menu.

I don't think was thought of, you know, to ask for anything

else. Not that we had difficulties in that area, but for my son, that's. I see

it as the experience. So I've long ago accepted that no food may be eaten if we

go to these places, but I see it as, helping their granddad celebrate his

birthday.

Let's make it an enjoyable experience in all the other ways and

take the stress off the food. So We pre-ordered the food, we pre-ordered

chicken nuggets and chips that can be hit to miss. Thinking about it. I

probably should have just pre-ordered chips, but we chicken nuggets and chips.

So He knew that. So he knew how long it was gonna take to get there, how long

we were going to be there, what he was going to eat we talked about who was

going to be there, so it was a bigger gathering than what used [00:04:00] to. When we go, When we've been before,

it's just been, , me, my husband, the two children, and mom and dad.

So only been six. So This time you were there with your family,

and then dad's friend and his wife were also there, so that doubled in size. So

I'd underestimated the impact of that that that would have on my son. . Not

that there's a lot that could be done about that, but he knew how many people

were going to be there.

And then I suppose in terms of what we take, he has his red

bag, which we have all his essentials. Um, Often I'll take a sticker book, but

he's 11, so it's a little bit borderline. But he he had his iPad. That's what

he needs to be able to tolerate those situations.

We have always in, in the bag, We always take the earbuds But

we have headphones that he can plug into his phone if he wants to listen to

music, if he needs to quiet it down that way. We have different things that he

can smell if there's [00:05:00] overpowering

smells, 'cause that will be another barrier when we go places sometimes if

there's strong food smells.

So That was what we did preparation wise. So How did your

preparation go?

Natalie Tealdi: It

was good until it came to actually leaving, leaving the house. I had ordered a

new T-shirt for him to wear and I tried really hard to choose soft fabric, a

style that I know he likes. so I chose a polo shirt, which is what he wears to

school, and he likes wearing those to school. So I thought that would be quite

easy switch from the norm. And he wore it fine, but he wanted

to wear his army joggers with the nice T-shirt. And I said, you know, needs to

be a bit smarter than that. , Let's wear some shorts. 'cause it was a warm day,

you know, and we had got some nice, smart shorts. No, don't wanna wear those.

Okay. So that was the first battle was the clothes

Then you could tell he was anxious. 'cause he [00:06:00] started asking me, , how long are we gonna

be there for? Who's gonna be there? All stuff that we'd been through. But now

it was on the cusp of going, he's obviously feeling more anxious, so we just

carried on and got his sister in the car and then suddenly he just freaks out

and takes all the clothes off and runs up to his room and refuses to go. So we

had quite some time where we weren't sure if we were gonna be able to go at

all.

Victoria Bennion:

Yeah. 'cause you called us in the car, didn't you? We were also late, but for

different reasons because we realized our tire was a bit flat when we went to

leave. You said, might not be coming. So we talked through, what could be the

options and maybe just taking the pressure off completely and saying, okay,

that's fine.

If you don't feel able to cope, you could stay at home with dad

and mom and your sister will just go, is, it's fine.

Natalie Tealdi: yeah.

That is basically what we did. So We just took all pressure off, gave him time

to calm down and [00:07:00] just gently try and

coax him, you know? do you think you could. Put your t-shirt on and come with

us. It got to the point where I was gonna be leaving on my...

In this week’s episode of The Autism Mums Podcast, we’re exploring the powerful connection between nutrition and wellbeing with the incredibly insightful Lisa Katz, mum, nutritional practitioner, and passionate advocate for holistic autism support.

Lisa Katz is a passionate advocate, devoted mum, and inspirational voice for families navigating the unique journey of severe Autism. As the mother of triplet boys, Lisa draws strength from her personal experiences.

Lisa has embraced a path of purpose championing healthy eating, clean living, and holistic wellness as essential tools for empowering both her family and other families.

She is focused on helping others make simple changes that will help not only the child with special needs but will truly benefit the entire family.

• The gut-brain connection and its significance in autism.
• Overview of the GAPS Diet and its focus on healing the gut.
• The importance of eliminating gluten and dairy for some children.
• Practical tips for becoming an informed consumer and reading food labels.
• Strategies for integrating dietary changes into family life.
• Signs that may indicate dietary issues affecting a child with autism.
• The idea that food is medicine and its implications for health.
• Tips for navigating social situations and dining out.
• The importance of community support for parents of neurodivergent children.

The GAPS Diet – Gut and Psychology Syndrome by Dr. Natasha Campbell-McBride

ARFID (Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder)

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/lisa.sobelkatz.5

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/lisasobelkatz

Contact Lisa through Facebook or Instagram (links above) to take up her generous offer of $50 off her Kitchen Reset Package. Simply let her know you heard about the offer here.

https://theautismmums.com/

Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums

Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums

Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums

[00:00:00] Hello and welcome to

the Autism Mums podcast. I'm Victoria. And I'm Natalie. We are two sisters

raising autistic children who know the joy, the challenges, and the everyday

moments. This is a supportive space for honest conversations, practical tips,

shared strength and expert advice. Whether you are celebrating a win, surviving

a meltdown, or just trying to make it through the day, we are right here with

you.

Join us as we share the ups, the downs, and everything in

between parenting autistic children.

Natalie Tealdi: Hi,

it's Natalie. Although you won't hear me in today's interview, I really wanted

to jump on at the start just to say hello and share a few thoughts with you

before we begin.

Victoria Bennion:

That's right. This episode is a conversation I had with Lisa Katz, who's a

nutritional practitioner who has supported her autistic son through quite

significant dietary changes. Lisa shares her experience of using the [00:01:00] GAPS diet and making big shifts in food

choices to support her son's health and behavior.

Natalie Tealdi: Now

before we start, we do want to give a little heads up because if your child has

ARFID or ARFID behaviors, this episode might not feel entirely relevant to your

journey.

Victoria Bennion:

Exactly. So one of my children has ARFID behaviors and as wonderful as it is,

what's worked for Lisa, I know that it wouldn't work for my child. And that's

okay because as you know, every child is different and no one size fits all

advice exists, especially when it comes to food

Natalie Tealdi: but

we also know there are families out there for whom this episode will resonate.

Lisa shares helpful tips about label reading, gut health, and empowering

parents to feel confident making small changes. If you are in a place where you

are considering how food might play a role in your child's wellbeing, you might

find this really inspiring.

Victoria Bennion: So

take what works for your family and leave the rest

Natalie Tealdi: all

right, let's hand over to [00:02:00] Lisa and

Victoria and as always, we are sending love to you wherever you are on your

journey. Okay.

Victoria Bennion:

hello Lisa, and welcome to the podcast.

Lisa Katz: Hi. It's

so nice to be here. Thank you so much for having me.

Victoria Bennion: It

is great to have the chance to talk to you and explore more about your journey

and talk to you about diets and food and everything. I'm looking forward to it.

Lisa Katz: I am too.

Thank you so much.

Victoria Bennion:

Could you start by talking a bit about your journey with autism?

Lisa Katz: My journey

with autism is different than I think a lot of people because. For my son, our

first diagnosis was actually mitochondrial disorder and we got that diagnosis

when he was very young. I should start by saying my son is 21 years old at the

time when he was diagnosed 21 years ago, we had had never heard about

mitochondrial disorder but that was his first diagnosis. Now, if you fast

forward to today, what we know now is that mitochondrial disorder and autism

are, are linked, and if you [00:03:00] go to

somebody that is gonna help you with autism and, your child's symptoms, very

often they're gonna bring up the mitochondria because if you remember in

science class, the mitochondria are the powerhouse of the cells.

Lisa Katz: So pretty

much anything that any of us do in our body, our mitochondria are involved and.

In fact, mitochondria is linked with lots of things these days. Autism and

Parkinson's. And Alzheimer's. And just about anything that you talk about in

terms of health, you're gonna be talking about the mitochondria because they're

the, powerhouse.

Lisa Katz: So that

was his first diagnosis, and we didn't even get the autism diagnosis until

years later. And it was such a blip that. I don't remember. .

Lisa Katz: , For me

it was so long ago and autism was also such a rare diagnosis at the point that

I didn't even remember because we were so involved with the mitochondrial

disorder. wasn't until my son Brandon was about [00:04:00]

11 years old that um, started on going down a different road and that's when I

learned that.

Lisa Katz: There are

really things that can be helpful outside of therapy. , It wasn't until he was

11 that I realized that as his mom and the primary caretaker of him, that there

was just more that I could be doing to help him function well. So that is when

I started learning more about health and nutrition and the nutrition side of.

Autism, and that's when I really dove into that when he was about 11.

Victoria Bennion:

Okay, so what dietary. Changes did you need to make at that point?

Lisa Katz: The first

thing that I had heard about was something called the GAPS Diet. GAPS and it's,

uh, Dr. Natasha Campbell wrote a book in it's gut and psychology syndrome, and

it's basically healing the [00:05:00] gut. So

at the time, which was 11 years ago I read the book and , I decided to do this

for him.

Lisa Katz: I decided

to, to implement this, , help heal us get because. If, your listeners aren't

familiar with this or don't know this about autism autism is very much

connected. Like we're very much connected with the gut and the brain, so it's

really important to look at the gut and to work on what we can do to best set

our children up for success.

Lisa Katz: I did the

gap site, which basically , you can get the book, you can, you know, look it

up. It's really easy to access, but , start off, back with the basics. You boil

a chicken. And you boil some vegetables.

Lisa Katz: It's very

nourishing. Good old chicken and vegetables and you start with that. And so it

was getting rid of. The Cheez-Its, getting rid of the junk That I was feeding

him and really nourishing his body.

Lisa Katz: I like to

use the word nourish...

In this week's episode of The Autism Mums Podcast reflect on attending the peaceful protest Every Pair Tells a Story, led by The SEND Sanctuary.

• The Every Pair Tells a Story protest shone a light on thousands of children across the UK who have been left without the education or support they deserve.
• Each pair of shoes represented a child and the pain, resilience, and determination of the families standing behind them.
• Parents and carers united peacefully to demand accountability, compassion, and systemic change.
• The stories of children like Archie, Harper, Izzy, Lucas, and Jackson highlighted the devastating human cost of a broken system.
• Long waiting lists, inconsistent support, and poor understanding within schools continue to fail neurodivergent children.

The SEND Sanctuary

ASDivas & Dudes

Fix SEND Dorset

ASCape

The SEND Nurture Network

Website – https://theautismmums.com/

Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums

Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums

Victoria Bennion:

Welcome back to the Autism Mums podcast. Thank you for joining us for today's

episode, which is both a bit emotional and I think quite historic.

Natalie Tealdi: Yeah,

I mean, last Monday across England and Scotland, parents and carers came

together for a peaceful protest called Every Pair Tells a Story.

Victoria Bennion:

Pairs of shoes were laid outside council buildings, and each pair represented a

child who's been failed by the education and support systems. Whether that's

been waiting for years for an assessment, missing out on a school place, or

being left without help.

Natalie Tealdi: This

movement led by the Send Sanctuary is about visibility and accountability. It's

about family showing through the quiet power of empty shoes. That our children

deserve better.

Victoria Bennion:

Yeah. And we went along to support the protest, didn't we? Nat, which was

outside Dorsett County Council at County Hall in Dorchester. And I dunno about

you, but I did find it really moving. [00:01:00]

I think there were more than 70 pairs of shoes laid outside those council

offices and each pair of shoes represented a child who's been let down by the

system in some way, which I don't know.

Victoria Bennion:

It's really sad. And I think thinking of the shoes as a symbol, they were

really powerful. They represent. The steps that our children should be taking

into school with friendships, with independence, and yet so many can't because

the system just keeps letting them down.

Natalie Tealdi: I

mean, it was so powerful sort of seeing them all laid out and thinking, gosh,

thinking about what that rep represents, like 70 pairs of shoes for 70

children. I mean, yeah, it was quite

Victoria Bennion:

it's shocking and when you see it visually like that, that's the amount of

children who maybe aren't in school or are traumatized by school,

Natalie Tealdi:

that's only in Dorset

Victoria Bennion:

That's only in Dorset it. And when you buy [00:02:00]

those shoes, I don't know if you can remember when you bought your children's

first shoes for school, there is quite a lot of excitement.

Victoria Bennion: You

have so much hope. And then when your child doesn't go to school, these shoes

and you know, for a lot of us, the whole uniforms, they stay there new and

actually what they become is like. That symbol of hope and excitement in the

beginnings are replaced by, feelings of exclusion, waiting, disappointment,

sadness for your child that they can't access something that all their peers

can.

Natalie Tealdi: Yeah,

and I think it's sad for them too because they want to be able to access those

things and they can't.

Victoria Bennion:

It's so much more than the education. It's, the missed friendships. It's the

skills that they don't get to develop. It's the emotional toll on not just the

children, but the families of these children.

Natalie Tealdi: Yeah,

I dunno about you, but I could sort of feel the sadness in the air

Victoria Bennion:

Yeah.

Natalie Tealdi: that

you know, it, it [00:03:00] was very peaceful

and it was calm and we were all coming together in unity. 'cause we all have

very. Similar stories.

Victoria Bennion:

Yeah, a hundred percent. I think particularly when families came along to add

their shoes to the collection of shoes outside, it was definitely felt very

sad, and it was a really peaceful day. I mean, the organizers from the SEND

Sanctuary, Aimee, she made it clear that it was about. The loss, the

frustration, and the unity that you mentioned and not anger and yeah, you could

definitely feel that.

Natalie Tealdi: It

was a really sort of proud moment. I mean, it's nice to get together with other

parents who have gone through the same thing. 'cause you, we all have similar

stories and we're on this journey together and exchanging tips and just general

support really standing together.

Victoria Bennion:

Yeah, you're definitely among people who get it, and that is encouraging in

some way. I mean, it was so busy, wasn't it? We were a little bit involved in

the [00:04:00] organization of the doorstep

part of it, and it was a really busy run up to the event. There were parents

and carers in our group who. Oh my gosh.

Victoria Bennion:

They put so much work into this from running around and collecting shoes from

various drop off points, even collecting from families to make sure that all

those families who couldn't attend were represented. And that's the tricky

thing about these protests, isn't it? Because if your child doesn't have a

school place because they've been failed, you're not necessarily gonna be able

to come to a protest.

Victoria Bennion:

Which is why I think it's so important that. We could be there. So we were

there just to represent them.

Natalie Tealdi:

That's it. I mean, my son was in school and my youngest was with Granny for

that time, so I could be there. But yeah, it's I think it's really important

for us.

Victoria Bennion:

That's right. And I think we're at that place. For some of our children where

we've been through this process and we are lucky enough to have [00:05:00] two of them in specialist schools. And my

daughter's old enough that she was able to come with us while she's waiting for

a school place.

Natalie Tealdi: Yeah,

definitely. Yeah.

Victoria Bennion: So

I don't know if you got a chance to look over the shoes, but all the families

added a tag to each pair of shoes with the child's name that they represented.

And then some of these also had the story of each child, which was really quite

poignant. Did you get to read any of them?

Natalie Tealdi: Yeah,

I did. Yeah.

Victoria Bennion: On

the way over to the protest, I stopped in at Nikki's Little Play Cafe in

Dorchester, which was one of the drop-off points. And Nikki told me the story.

Victoria Bennion: She

gave me one of the pairs of shoes and she said there were from a girl who'd

been so let down by the system and was in a school that. Was so wrong for her

and they couldn't cope with her that she'd been unable to take her GCSEs.

Natalie Tealdi: Oh

gosh.

Victoria Bennion:

When you looked at the tags, there were so many heartbreaking stories on them.

Victoria Bennion: I

mean, maybe we should some of them when you read the stories, [00:06:00] it really brings home the problems that

there are.

Natalie Tealdi: Yeah,

definitely. I read a story about a 12-year-old boy called Archie, who had been

told there was nothing wrong with him in primary school. He was just labeled as

sensitive. So in year seven, he was diagnosed with a DHD. Attending school...

In this week's episode of The Autism Mums Podcast, we discuss the challenges faced by parents navigating the waiting period for their child's autism diagnosis. We explore strategies for gathering evidence, advocating for support, and managing the differences in behaviour between home and school settings. With practical tips and personal insights, we aim to empower parents to take proactive steps during this often frustrating and isolating time.

Understanding the Waiting Game: Many parents face the challenge of navigating the waiting period for their child's autism diagnosis, often feeling isolated and unsure of the next steps.

Coping at Home vs. School: Children may present differently at school compared to home, leading to discrepancies in support. It’s vital to gather evidence of behaviours at home to advocate effectively.

Gathering Evidence: Documenting your child's struggles through video recordings or diaries can provide crucial evidence when communicating with schools and professionals.

Utilising School Resources: Engage with schools to explore options like re-engagement sessions, youth workers, or alternative therapies that can provide support and evidence for assessments.

Professional Input Matters: Involving various professionals—such as therapists, tutors, and behavioural nurses—can strengthen your case for support and diagnosis by offering diverse perspectives on your child's needs.

Stay Proactive: Regularly follow up with schools and professionals regarding assessments, and don’t hesitate to reach out to your MP if you encounter significant delays in the process.

Explore Alternative Routes: Consider different pathways for assessments, such as CAMHS or private assessments, which may have shorter waiting times compared to traditional routes.

Community Support: Connecting with other parents and support groups can provide invaluable advice and encouragement during the challenging waiting period.

Self-Care for Parents: Acknowledge the emotional toll that waiting for a diagnosis can take, and we really recommend prioritising self-care to maintain your well-being while advocating for your child.

Resource Recommendations: Explore recommended books and resources that can provide further insight and support for navigating autism-related challenges.

The Explosive Child by Ross Greene

Raising The SEN-Betweeners by Lisa Lloyd

Aspergers Syndrome by Tony Attwood

The Girl with the Curly Hair by Alis Rowe

Website – https://theautismmums.com/

Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums

Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums

Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums

Navigating the Waiting Game: Essential Tips for Parents of Kids with Autism

Natalie Tealdi: [00:00:00] in this episode, we discuss the challenges faced by parents navigating the waiting period for their child's autism diagnosis. We explore

strategies for gathering evidence, advocating for support, and

managing the differences in behavior between home and school

settings.

Practical tips and personal

insights. We want parents to know that we get how frustrating and

isolating this time can be. It really can be so hard, but there are

things you can do to feel more empowered, and we are going to share

some of this with you today.

Victoria

Bennion: That's right. And we really hope it makes a

difference to you.

Natalie

Tealdi: So I've had a few conversations this week with

parents who have children who are in that in-between stage where

they're waiting for a diagnosis and , they're not attending school

and they're stuck. They have no support and they're not really sure

what to do. And I think that's one of the hardest.

Parts. One of the families the

child is at school and seemingly coping at school, but [00:01:00]

at home really not coping at all. And then there seems to be a

barrier of support there because there's no diagnosis. And then

another has been off school for, I think it was two years

Victoria

Bennion: Two.

Natalie

Tealdi: Yeah. And then waiting for a specialist placement,

denied one and then left

Victoria

Bennion: What?

Natalie

Tealdi: I know with the parent not really knowing what to

do. So I thought it might be helpful to talk around what you can do

in those situations

so we talked about eh, HCPs

and the fact that you can do a parental

one,

we've talked about before,

haven't we? And I think, but the key thing here is the evidence. So

the, stumbling block is if school aren't seeing those behaviors, if

they're masking or if they're keeping it all in, what can they do?

Victoria

Bennion: So I've spoken to people in the past where this

has been an issue. This is a really common issue,

Their approaches both of those

was to video their children when they were having meltdowns and show

the school that might be what you see, but this is what we see.

This is how they're [00:02:00]

struggling. And I know certainly for one of my friends, that was

really key in the school changing their perception of how the child

was coping and. Putting in extra support and supporting a diagnosis

at that point, my friend didn't have a diagnosis for a child.

Natalie

Tealdi: Right. That's a really good tip.

Victoria

Bennion: Yeah,

Natalie

Tealdi: I think when it comes to eh HCPs, it's getting the

evidence, isn't it? Wherever you can,

Victoria

Bennion: There's different ways you can do it. This did

come up, I was talking to someone this week about how do you get

evidence maybe if your child's not in school and there's nobody else

except the parent to. Observe these behaviors and these struggles,

and it caused me to reflect on what I've done.

Both of my children, it was

like a bit of an explosion and it all happened very fast. Both of

them, it was e HCPs, running alongside school difficulties and being

on the pathway to be assessed. With one of my children, she changed

schools. So this school she was currently at, they didn't know her.

They had really nothing at

that [00:03:00] point, she was unable to

attend school because she couldn't cope there. That was just over a

year. She was offered to go on re-engagement sessions at the school.

Sometimes some schools will put something in place, and this was at

her old school, so she felt comfortable there to attend. That gave

the new school, or at least a couple of members of staff. An

opportunity to get to know her a bit and to make their own opinion.

It did not help reengage her in school, but it did help that evidence

trail. And actually, I think it was really crucial because one of

them, when it came to going through the EHCP process. member of staff

who was in the engagement sessions talked to the educational

psychologist, and she was able to say that my child was masking

highly and she only needed to say a little bit, but it gave weights

otherwise we had nothing to show.

Something I asked for at the

time was the horse course. I'd [00:04:00]

heard it talked about before in the community as being a good option

if you've got a child with anxiety. I was having to have regular

meetings about my child's non-attendance. So I asked if it would be

possible for them to beep, put forward for the horse course, which

they agreed readily. That took place over a week.

Then there was a report at the

end of it, and then we had that additional evidence.

The school put in place a

youth worker who met with my child once a week. So that's another

person that's involved with your child who can have input into things

like eh, HCPs. Even the diagnosis process potentially, rather than,

again, just a parent saying, my child's struggling.

We took my child to see a

psychotherapist. So again, another professional we tried, cams were

rejected in the first instance because of the re-engagement sessions

with the school, interestingly.

The GP had to refer again once

those sessions had finished, because it was, felt that my child

In this episode Victoria and Natalie chat with Julie Green, author of Motherness, to explore the realities of parenting through autism both as a mum to an autistic son and as a woman who discovered her own autism later in life.

Julie M. Green is a Canadian writer whose work has been featured in the Washington Post, HuffPost, The Globe and Mail, Today’s Parent, and Chatelaine. She has appeared on CTV, BBC Radio, SiriusXM, and CBC Radio. She writes The Autistic Mom on Substack. For more information, visit JulieMGreen.ca.

• Autism in girls and women can look very different from the traditional stereotypes. Julie explains that while boys can be identified through visible traits like lining up toys or having clear special interests, girls may channel their autistic traits into more socially acceptable interests
• Many girls mask their differences by copying peers
• The importance of seeing challenging behaviour as communication, not defiance.
• How self-compassion and reframing past experiences can heal years of misunderstanding and self-blame
• The need for schools and systems to replace punishment with understanding and co-regulation.

Motherness: A Memoir of Generational Autism, Parenthood, and Radical Acceptance

The Autistic Mom Substack

The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible by Ross W Green

National Autistic Society

Website: juliemgreen.ca

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/juliem.green

Substack: https://theautisticmom.substack.com/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/julie-m-green-34bb1845/

Website – https://theautismmums.com/

Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums

Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums

Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums

Victoria Bennion:

[00:00:00] Today we are joined by author Julie Green, whose new book, mother Ness Explores

Life as both an autistic mom and the parent of an autistic son. We talk about

late diagnosis, what autism can look like in women and girls and navigating

challenging behavior.

Victoria Bennion and Natalie

Tealdi: Welcome to the podcast, Julie. It's great to have you here.

Julie Green: Thanks for having me.

Victoria Bennion and Natalie

Tealdi: So you are a mom to an autistic son, and you also discovered

later in life that you are also autistic. Can you start by telling us what led

you to consider that you might be autistic?

Julie Green: Oh my.

When I say it was a process, it took. Almost exactly 10 years, a very long

time. So needless to say, ooh, going back when my son was diagnosed at three I

didn't know much about autism generally, let alone. Autism in girls and women

and how that could look different. So it was very much a process.

Julie Green: The

information just wasn't even out there. It wasn't necessarily [00:01:00] that it wasn't on my radar. I don't even

really think you had Temple Grandin at that point. It was just, it was such a

learning curve just to learn about it with my son. And then. Every now and

then, I was just struck by these similarities, thinking, oh I was really

sensitive with clothing and oh, I was really certain noises and, the need for

routine.

Julie Green: So there

were some similarities with my son, but in a lot of respects, he was very much

the typical. Image that we have of a little boy, lining up the Thomas trains.

And that just did not really fit because I was fairly social. All these sort of

things. And then I think ultimately, I became involved in it was like the

blogging sphere back then, and I came across, I was writing about parenting and

I started to write about autism and our experiences, but I eventually did come

across an autistic woman through the community and got chatting with her and [00:02:00] realized in getting to know her that, oh,

okay, so this is this looks very different and.

Julie Green: She and

I were very similar, and that gradually led me to think, okay maybe I am also

autistic. And then again, took a little while longer for me to actually decide

to pursue being assessed. So at the time, even here in Canada, the wait list

wasn't that bad. I waited maybe a year through my GP and it was through our

oip, which I'm in Ontario, so our province has the equivalent of the NHS.

Julie Green: I

didn't, initially, I was thinking, oh, do I wanna go through with this and, pay

thousands of dollars and for what? Even if I am diagnosed, just, it was a lot

of, it was a long process, as I say, 10 years till it really fully clicked. It

clicked and then, officially got the diagnosis.

Julie Green: So I.

Victoria Bennion and Natalie

Tealdi: Did it help you when you looked back at past events? Did it

make more [00:03:00] sense of your life?

Julie Green: Oh, enormously. 'cause I think a lot of people are like, why do this? I was 44, so

why do this? It's not as though you're going to really qualify for any. Any funding or any supports, but I just think on a personal level, it reframes so much of you. You go through this process and it can take months if not years.

Julie Green: I, there

are still moments where you're, there are these realizations that, oh, this

thing happened in the past and oh, that wasn't. Because I was difficult or too

sensitive or too demanding or, whatever other names people call you and you

internalize a lot of this. Baggage and a lot of these other labels, I mean our

kids do too.

Julie Green: This is

why I think it's important for kids to, to understand that they're wired

differently as opposed to, my son was coming home and going, oh, I'm bad, and

they, the kids will pick up on that, [00:04:00]

those differences and people will label you with other things. And so I grew up

internalizing a lot of these other labels, so having that new information.

Julie Green: Just

helped me have more compassion and understanding. And just like this process of

getting to know yourself in a different way, even in my forties. Doing a lot of

repair work, I think. And yeah just reframing a lot of the narratives that I

had grown up thinking these things were personality flaws.

Julie Green: And also

just thinking, why the heck am I like that? Why do I need so much recovery

time? Why can't I do the things other people can do so easily? Why do I have

all this social confusion? So it just allows this framework to, to help you

understand yourself and, I don't think you can Yeah.

Julie Green: Put to

find a point on that. It's, it makes a radical difference at any age, but I. I

think it's worthwhile. I've had people come to me now and say I think a woman

in her seventies [00:05:00] or in her sixties

saying, yeah, this is finally occurring to me. And I don't think it's, I don't

think there's a time limit on that if it helps you reappraise yourself and feel

better about yourself.

Victoria Bennion and Natalie

Tealdi: So would say your life has changed since your...

In this week's episode of The Autism Mums Podcast we welcome Greer Jones to the show.

Greer Jones is a speaker, writer, and podcast host passionate about building understanding and connection in the neurodiverse world. As a mom raising an autistic and ADHD child, and part of a neurodivergent couple herself, she brings honesty, empathy, and lived experience to her work. She is the creator of The Unfinished Idea podcast and online community, where she provides encouragement, practical tools, and a reminder that no one has to walk this journey alone. Her story has been featured in podcasts, conferences, and publications, inspiring families to embrace their unique path with hope and courage.

• Understanding Neurodiversity: Greer emphasises that autism and ADHD manifest differently in each individual, highlighting the importance of recognising and valuing each child's unique strengths and challenges.
• Advocacy Experience: Greer shares her experience of advocating for her son, stressing the need for parents to be proactive in navigating educational and healthcare systems.
• Building Community: Connecting with other parents and families facing similar challenges can provide invaluable support, encouragement, and shared strategies for managing daily life.
• Positive Framing: Starting meetings with positive affirmations about a child helps shift the focus from deficits to strengths, fostering a more collaborative atmosphere.
• Partnership with Schools: Greer advocates for a partnership approach with educators, emphasising the importance of regular communication and collaboration to support a child's needs effectively.
• Managing Expectations: Understanding that neurodivergent children may struggle with transitions and choices allows parents to adjust their expectations and provide necessary support.
• Embracing Flexibility: Greer discusses the importance of adapting plans and routines according to a child's needs, especially during challenging periods, to minimise overwhelm.
• Creating Safe Spaces: Providing children with tools and strategies, such as sensory items or designated "fun bags," can help them navigate overwhelming situations more comfortably.

The Unfinished Idea Podcast with Greer Jones

Website – http://theunfinishedidea.com

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/theunfinishedidea/

Website – https://theautismmums.com/

Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums

Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums

Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums

Victoria Bennion: Welcome to the podcast.

Greer Jones: Thank you. Yeah. Thanks for having me. , I'm glad to be here.

Victoria Bennion: It's great to have the chance to talk to you after meeting you at the Send Rally

Greer Jones: Yeah, it was fun. I found that really just be really impactful because I got to meet so many people in person that I know online and have seen online. So yeah, it was good.

Natalie Tealdi: Can you start by [00:02:00] telling us what your family's journey through diagnosis has taught you about resilience and hope?

Greer Jones: Yeah, that's a great question. So just a little bit about me. I have a son who's autistic, A DHD. I'm married to someone who is autistic, and then I have a DHD. And then I have another son who, we don't know where he's at. He's only three, so it's,

Natalie Tealdi: Early days.

Greer Jones: Yeah. Early days. Yeah. I definitely think there's maybe some sensory processing, but I don't know if that's added into anything so really our journey started when our oldest son, who is autistic, A DHD, was two. And we were just coming outta the pandemic and we were just realizing that. He was processing and receiving the world differently and along with his speech being delayed. And so we were trying to really pursue that.

And in the process, kinda asking questions like, oh, is this typical or is this not? 'Cause he'd hit all of his kind of milestone markers, he could say mama and dad, but he couldn't say anything really beyond that. [00:03:00] But he could count, he could say numbers, which.

It's like I look back and I'm like, yes, this makes all sense. But like at the time I was like, how can you count to 20 when you're two, but not say fridge, or not say milk or like those kind of we call basic word words.

Whereas now I'm like, oh, this all makes sense.

My first conversation actually with the GP was particularly more around his speech, but he basically said that my child's speech delay and while he was processing the world differently was because I'm American. To which I said very quickly. Nice try. Tell me something else. , I thought may, maybe if it's a different, completely different language where I'm like, American come on, that's silly. But anyways, so that was, I think maybe even our first little taste of what we were entering into of kind of even advocacy of people are going to try and tell you. Some people just aren't gonna know.

I think, to be honest, I think that GP didn't really know what he was talking about. . And two, they're gonna just try and [00:04:00] give you the lowest effort answer sometimes because

Victoria Bennion: So 

Greer Jones: that's, yeah. The, just where we are. And so we started pursuing other things.

In that time he then started going to nursery, which again, nursery, gave us the lowest possible effort. Answer. To the point where at one point they said to me I was gonna have to pay for his extra support, which I knew nothing like being American. I know nothing about the British system like nursery and all of that, was new school, all of that.

It was a very interesting and hard experience. So then we enter into school and I wanted to be really proactive. Having had not a great nursery experience, I wanted to be really proactive with the school and say here's strategies we like are working at home. We don't know where he is on the spectrum, but we definitely at this point know he's on the spectrum.

Can we work together? I very much am pro partnership of, wherever your school setting is. So just going through that and leaving that meeting. [00:05:00] So that was before he started. So this was like the July before he started in September and leaving that meeting feeling like they just thought I was an overprotective parent and thought I was crazy.

That was one. I think my first real moment, like looking back, I'm like, oh, these other moments were probably. Part of our story, but of when I was like, I am my child's voice,, they did not hear me. This is not okay.

So from that meeting, they said, give it a week. When he starts school, we'll set in some support, see how he does, blah, blah. Week, day two, of starting school, I got the call that said that they were not able to support my child's needs. That he needed to come in for an hour a day. Which turned into two hours because I was like, I'm not coming for an hour.

What am I supposed to do? And how it was set up was not legal. And realizing again, the conversations that needed to be had and who with weren't. And so again, trying to align like. For example, in the US you speak to the class teacher, that's your point of call.

If there's any other people you need to speak to, she'll [00:06:00] make the reference whereas at our school, , the class teacher didn't wanna talk to us. They were referencing us to someone else quite quickly. And I was like, who is this person?, It was just a very weird experience.

So partly I think because of learning the school system, but also just learning that after getting that phone call of you need to come get your child, he can only do this, blah, blah, blah. And , that first six weeks I learned a lot and realized a lot that people dunno the law, that was the biggest thing.

And that people are, because they dunno the law, they are going to also not look at the child, but look at the whole. Which again, it's not wrong. I'm not saying that's necessarily a bad thing, but. You. That means the child then gets lost. I think that, at least in our instance, and so it is. From that, I just started sharing, I sh started sharing our experience and going, this is what it's like to get him to school.

This is the fact that he's only going for two hours and I have had to take work off. I've had work was quite good. They, in the end, we're quite flexible with my time., But [00:07:00] there's some people I know who wouldn't, you know, who wouldn't be able to, and just like different things that we had to work around.

And it was when I started sharing that, people were like, oh yeah, we've gone through that. Or we know what it's like to battle getting their shoes on. And it be more than just a kind of. They don't want to. But a true battle of getting shoes on or clothes on. My child...

In this week's episode of The Autism Mums Podcast we're reflecting on the Panorama documentary, EHCPs and everyday struggles from socks to lunch boxes.

The reality behind EHCPs – why the process can be emotionally draining, time-consuming, and often leaves families feeling powerless.

When inclusion isn’t inclusion – the difference between being in school and actually being supported to thrive.

The ripple effect of sensory struggles – how something as small as socks or a change in routine can unravel a whole morning.

Food battles and 'safe foods' – understanding why eating can be so complex for autistic children and why parents shouldn’t face judgment for feeding what works.

Navigating seasonal changes – how weather, clothing, and sensory shifts can bring new challenges for children who rely on predictability.

The need for empathy over judgment – whether it’s food, clothes, or school attendance, understanding should always come before criticism.

BBC Panorama Documentary: Autism, School and Families on the Edge presented by Kellie Bright

EHCP (Education, Health and Care Plans) - learn more here

ARFID and sensory-based eating challenges - learn more here

Website – https://theautismmums.com/

Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums

Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums

Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums

This Week in Our World:

Reflecting on Panorama, EHCPs and Everyday Struggles [00:00:00]

Victoria Bennion:

This week we watched Kelly Bright's Panorama documentary called Autism School

and Families on the Edge, and it was really interesting watching. So we wanted

to take today to reflect on the program and chat about things in general that

have come up for us and our children

Victoria Bennion: .

so what did you think about the program? Nat.

Natalie Tealdi: I

thought it was really great to give. Exposure about the issues of EHCPs. I

mean, it was largely based around EHCPs, wasn't it? And it definitely brought

back lots of memories. I think it's that, that place where you are at, where

you don't really know much about what's going on and you're kind of trying to

work out how to support your child.

Victoria Bennion:

Yeah.

Natalie Tealdi: the

right environment is for them, getting them the right support, not really

knowing what that support is or what even are the options for support.

Victoria Bennion:

That's right. It's a really stressful time. And I think that it, hopefully, it

highlighted that it's quite a lengthy process and that it requires quite a lot

of you as [00:01:00] parents and carers being

on it with all the dates. And then even when you get a yes, if you get a yes at

certain points, like, yes, we agree to assess your child, it's, you're not

necessarily then going to get the plan that your child needs.

Victoria Bennion: So

with the family there? And , it had named mainstream. That was, that was

totally familiar to me. That's what happened with my first child going through

the process and he was barely attending school. And it brought back for me

those feelings, those memories of like, oh my God, what, we've just been

through all this.

Victoria Bennion: And

you are saying, well, they basically said good luck at middle school. It's like

he can't even get into first school. How have you written a whole plan and put

mainstream? So I did really feel for them. I think it was a really accurate

depiction of the process

Natalie Tealdi: Yeah,

I mean, very similar for us too. , It's clearly the setting isn't working and

you do all the paperwork and all the fighting and all the meetings

Victoria Bennion: all

the assessments.

Natalie Tealdi: then

it comes back with the same place that they're not coping at. I mean, that [00:02:00] doesn't even make any sense. It is just so

frustrating,

Victoria Bennion: ,

It's a very tiring process.

Natalie Tealdi: And

you can feel really powerless. I think that's something they highlighted in the

documentary 'cause. Yeah, you have to learn about all the processes and the

laws and what you're entitled to, and it's exhausting.

Victoria Bennion: It

is exhausting, and especially on top of when you're trying to look after your

children charge the EHCP for everything is not well, otherwise you wouldn't be

doing it. So you've got that on top of everything. And then holding the local

authority to their deadlines is my experience of, Hey, it's the X date.

Victoria Bennion: Is

there any news on this yet?

Natalie Tealdi:

exactly. You can't just sort of hand it over to them and expect it all to run

smoothly into time. You have to be there nudging them.

Victoria Bennion:

Yeah, it's horrible actually. It's extra stress that parents don't need. So I

thought that was depicted really well. There was one, one thing that really

struck me as being potentially really divisive. I [00:03:00]

don't know if it struck you too, but it was when she was speaking to that

counselor.

Victoria Bennion:

They were referencing the amount of money that's needed to support our

children, and she said something along the lines of like, this is money that.

Natalie Tealdi: I

know what you're gonna say.

Victoria Bennion: Is

now not going to road repairs. It was something like that, wasn't it? And I

thought, Ooh, , that felt to me like quite deliberately divisive. Like, Hey, ,

these send families are taking all the money. That's why there's potholes in

the road. And it was almost like pitting. Sections of society against each

Victoria Bennion:

other.

Natalie Tealdi: That

is exactly how I felt listening to that as well. I thought, hang on a minute,

what? That could definitely create some interesting situations.

Victoria Bennion: And

I think it's probably deliberately designed to, dad was saying there was

something he read about parents wanting EHCPs to get their children more exam

time or something for GCSEs, [00:04:00] and I

went, what , I dunno about you, but certainly at the point that we're going for

an EHCP GCSEs are just not even in the mind.

Victoria Bennion:

It's getting your child into a setting that's appropriate. I mean, I wasn't

even thinking about GCSEs when my child was eight.

Natalie Tealdi:

Quality of life

Victoria Bennion:

yeah, exactly. You don't want them to be in this terrible state that they're

in, and you want the best for them. It's certainly not in my experience of

anybody I've met either that that's on their mind.

Natalie Tealdi: Where

does that come from? I don't know anyone like that. , It is more that people

are worried about their child's mental health and, the state of their health

generally, and being able to be in the world and cope in the world and have a

bright future. 'cause they still should have a

Natalie Tealdi:

bright future.

Victoria Bennion:

Yeah.

Natalie Tealdi: And I

think one thing that came up for me was when there was the mum, I think the

daughter at mum actually, when her child did manage to go into school, and they

were all celebrating the fact that she got to go in that day. But I just [00:05:00] thought, but how did that day go? Because

I was just remembering when my child went into school, I would be by my phone

trying to work and sometimes it would ring and it would be the school saying

he's not coping and he needs picking up.

Natalie Tealdi: And I

was thinking, how did she feel that day and how, and how was it when her child

got home? Was she okay or was it difficult that afternoon...

In this week's episode of The Autism Mums Podcast we welcome Talia Zamora to the show.

Talia Zamora, Award-Winning Coach and bestselling co-author, encourages and uplifts women from Neurodivergent families who are struggling to find balance, clarity, and direction through bespoke one-to-one coaching. With a supportive, accepting, and inclusive approach, she helps clients reconnect with their self-worth, build confidence, and set realistic, meaningful goals that align with their lives. Drawing on both lived experience and professional expertise, Talia’s unique coaching style empowers women to take control, make progress, and redefine success on their own terms. Her work is grounded in simplicity, compassion, and the power of being truly seen and understood.

• Accidental Journey to Coaching: Talia’s path to becoming a coach began unexpectedly, driven by her own experiences as a parent of neurodivergent children.

• Identifying Common Struggles: Many neurodivergent families face challenges related to societal expectations and the pressure to conform to typical parenting norms.

• The Importance of Self-Compassion: Talia emphasizes the need for parents to recognize their unique family dynamics and to approach parenting with kindness toward themselves.

• Momentum vs. Balance: Talia discusses the concept of prioritizing momentum over traditional work-life balance, focusing on maintaining progress rather than achieving a perfect equilibrium.

• Breakthrough Moments: Clients often experience significant breakthroughs when they learn to communicate their needs and establish boundaries in both personal and professional contexts.

• Creating a Supportive Environment: Talia highlights the value of creating a nurturing atmosphere at home that accommodates the unique needs of neurodivergent children.

• Practical Tools for Change: The episode offers actionable strategies for parents, including the idea of a "done list" to celebrate achievements and the importance of questioning societal norms in parenting.

Talia's 101 Neurodivergent Traits download is available here: https://www.taliazamora.com/

Talia's Wellness Day:

Unmask & Unwind

A Neurodivergent-Friendly Wellness Day on Saturday 19th October 2025 for Women Who Want to Thrive. If you’ve been craving a day to slow down, breathe, and refill your cup this is your invitation.

Find out more here: https://www.taliazamora.com/wellnessday

talia@taliazamora.com

www.taliazamora.com

https://www.linkedin.com/in/taliazamora/ https://www.facebook.com/TaliaZamoraBusinessandFamilyCoach

Website – https://theautismmums.com/

Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums

Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums

Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums

[00:00:00] 

Victoria Bennion: Welcome to the podcast, Talia. It's great to have you here with us today.

Talia Zamora: Thank you very much. It's lovely to be here.

Natalie Tealdi: Can you start by telling us what inspired you to start your coaching journey and how your personal experience helped to shape your approach?

Talia Zamora: My coaching journey, probably happened by accident. What I mean by that is that it wasn't really a lifelong dream to work for myself and, to be a coach. I'd been working in business improvement and. Continuous improvement. Within industry there's something called Lean Six Sigma, and it's about practicing different ways and systems and process to improve your business and make it easier and, manage it well. I came to an end of a contract and I was struggling to find something that would fit around my kids because as you know, your kids have more need for hospital appointments and for you to pick them up from school because they don't necessarily want to, go to the clubs and they get exhausted and burn out and they need to be at home. So I, I really needed something part time and flexible. [00:01:00] So at the end of the contract I was on, I just thought, okay, let's. C, give myself a bit of a break to be there for the kids and then retrain as something that I can do for myself. So it took a few months, I got myself a coach and then was talking to her about what would be best to do with my skills, and that's when it highlighted that actually being a coach would. Worked well for me because of all the business improvement and continuous improvement that I'd got, and in the background at the same time was I was starting to train as a coach. I was doing quite a lot of training for my kids, so as, again, you might well know the system when you get your kids diagnosed because both mine are autistic. At the time I hadn't had a diagnosis, so the system suggests that you go to parenting courses, which at the time I got really annoyed about and didn't see the logic and thought that, you know, I'm not a bad parent, are you judging me? But actually realized very quickly how, valuable they were and how amazing it was that somebody understood other people were in the same boat. That there [00:02:00] were certain quirks about my kids that I hadn't even realized were quirks and their traits were shining through that. Became quite prominent that actually it wasn't normal for everybody else. Within the first two, three years of coaching, it then became quite clear that I was working with a lot of neurodivergent women without advertising.

That I was neurodivergent. And without saying this is me. It just became almost magnetic. Slightly. No, that might sound a bit funny, but it's just, that was who I was attracting without deliberately doing it. So it came to a point where I'd done so much training and was looking to do more, and I thought actually, this is a good time for me to become a neurodivergent coach.

And at the same time I started training with a charity called Advance, who's local to Meen Hartford. And they support, mainly A DHD and autistic families. So I particularly trained with them. So I coach with them as a charity and that's family coaching. And directly through my own business [00:03:00] that's more female business focused, and that's with women who've got neurodivergent traits themselves or diagnosis, but also have a family at home that they're, having to build their life around 

Victoria Bennion: So through your working with neurodivergent women. What are some common struggles that you see?

Talia Zamora: Common struggles, are actually about life itself. It's in terms of how you navigate with your children. a lot of the time, I feel as a parent of autistic kids that we try and do things that everybody else is doing. And we do that with ourselves and our children, so be it that going to parties as an adult, it's taken me a while to realize actually there certain types of parties I like to go to, but normally, previously I just pushed myself to do it. It's the same with kids. There are only certain types of parties they might feel comfortable going to. And then also things like swimming lessons or going to football or going to ballet or things like that. We think it's the norm and that we should be doing it with [00:04:00] our kids, and we kind of try and coax them into doing it and they don't wanna do it, and they're kicking up a stink and having a tantrum or coming home and quite distressed. So I think one of the hardest. Things, when I'm working with someone is there to help them to realize that they need to do it their way and it's okay if that's not what everybody else is doing and that it's really important to have to be. Regulated at home and in a nice way and, and feel comfortable. So especially with extracurricular stuff, where we've got a choice, whereas school, we don't have as much choice. So that's can be a challenge in itself. So I think helping people to realize they don't have to fit into the social norms of society is huge.

Victoria Bennion: I think that is huge, isn't it? Just thinking from like my son and those, the expectations that, we had for him before he had his diagnosis. Like parties, as you were saying, are they awful? And school trips, things like that, that [00:05:00] which he couldn't actually access. And just as a parent parenting him, that took me a little bit of an adjustment just to actually be able to say, no, actually that's not gonna work.

No.

Talia Zamora: Yeah.

Victoria Bennion: But it's, you are very caught up with what's...

In this week’s encore episode of The Autism Mums Podcast, we are revisiting our look into the journey toward an autism diagnosis. Natalie opens up about her experiences with her son, reflecting on the subtle early signs and the drawn-out process of seeking support.

Early signs aren't always obvious: It's common to realize things only in hindsight.

Not all settings impact children the same way: Different environments can highlight or mask challenges.

The path to diagnosis is often long: Waiting times can be frustrating, but support exists even before official diagnoses.

Grief is a natural part of acceptance: It's okay to mourn the loss of expectations while embracing a new, beautiful reality.

Practical support makes a difference: Courses like EarlyBirds offer real-world tools tailored for neurodivergent children.

EarlyBirds Programme by the National Autistic Society

https://theautismmums.com/

Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums

Facebook - @theautismmums

In this week’s encore episode of The Autism Mums Podcast, join us as we navigate the complex landscape of anxiety in autistic children. We share our personal insights and experiences, exploring the diverse ways anxiety can manifest, including meltdowns, shutdowns, and sensory overloads.

Whether you're early on in your autism journey or navigating school-age challenges, this episode offers reassurance, relatable stories, and real-world strategies that can make a difference.

Anxiety presents differently in autistic children: It might show up as shutdowns, meltdowns, repetitive questions, anger, or even physical symptoms like tummy aches.

Avoidance can be common: Children may retreat to their rooms or refuse to go places when overwhelmed.

Sensory overload can be a major trigger: Noisy environments, bright lights, and even scratchy clothing can heighten anxiety.

Routine changes, even positive ones, can be stressful: Children may want changes, but still struggle when they occur.

Social unpredictability can add pressure: Not knowing who will be present or what will happen in social settings can create discomfort.

Masking and perfectionism can lead to burnout and chronic anxiety.

Support strategies matter: Ear defenders, visual timetables, sensory tools, role play, and validating feelings can help.

Validation and patience are key: Simply saying 'I hear you' can help children feel safe and understood.

Mindfulness sessions – Supportive techniques that help children become aware of how anxiety feels in their bodies.

https://www.mindful.org/mindfulness-for-kids/

Visual timetables and planners – Visual supports that help prepare autistic children for transitions and daily routines.

Example resources: Twinkl Visual Timetables

Noise-cancelling headphones and sunglasses

Edz Kidz Ear Defenders

Breathing exercises for children

https://copingskillsforkids.com/deep-breathing-exercises-for-kids

BBC Documentary – Inside Our Autistic Minds by Chris Packham

Watch here: BBC iPlayer – Inside Our Autistic Minds

Harry Potter Studio Tour (UK)

Mentioned as an example of a venue with quiet spaces and autism-friendly accommodations.

Accessibility info https://www.wbstudiotour.co.uk/additional-needs/

https://theautismmums.com/

Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums

Follow us on Facebook @theautismmums

In this week’s episode of The Autism Mums Podcast, we welcome back Carl Draper for part two of our conversation.

In the first part, Carl shares his personal experiences as a parent, how his understanding of behaviour has changed over time, and why unmet needs and stress responses are so often misunderstood.

In this second part, Carl reflects on the challenges we can’t always predict or prevent, the importance of support systems and environment, and what helps parents regulate their own emotions when things feel overwhelming.

Carl Draper was born in a North Nottinghamshire mining village and moved to Bournemouth at 19, where he served as a beach lifeguard and discovered his love for surfing. Accepted into the Royal Marines, his plans changed after a serious leg injury during a heroic rescue, an event that earned him a Local Hero Award and a feature on BBC’s 999 Rescue. He later became RNLI head trainer for lifeguards across Dorset, then served over a decade with Dorset Ambulance Service. Shifting to education, he trained firefighters and police nationwide before retraining as a mental health nurse. Carl is currently studying at Bournemouth University. In 2015, he founded Waveslider, winning the Bournemouth Tourism Award in 2017, and began documenting life with his son Bodhi in 2020.

1. Not everything can be planned for, and learning to cope with the unexpected is an essential life skill
2. Avoiding triggers completely can increase anxiety over time rather than reduce it
3. The right support system — at home, at school, or beyond — can be life-changing for families
4. Routine provides security but can also create vulnerability during periods of change
5. Parents need their own ways to regulate stress and should seek support without guilt

Follow Carl’s journey with his son Bodhi on the Waverslider Photography Facebook Page

Follow Carl on Instagram

https://theautismmums.com/

Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums

Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums

Victoria Bennion: [00:00:00] Hello and welcome back. This is part two

of our conversation with Carl Draper. Carl is currently training to be a mental

health nurse and he's the founder of Wave Slider, where he shares his brilliant

photos and documents life with his son Bodhi.

Victoria Bennion:

Frank Bodi's Assistance Dog is also a regular on Wave slider. If you haven't

listened to part one yet, we'd really recommend going back first because Carl

shares some powerful context about what challenging behavior can look like and

how much can change when we start meeting a child's stress response with calm.

Victoria Bennion: In

today's episode, we pick up the conversation by talking about the things we

can't always predict or control. Those sudden changes, those moments where a

plan falls apart and the ways that it can trigger big feelings for our children

and for us too. So let's jump back in.

Victoria Bennion: Are

there any steps that you can take, do you think, to prevent the behaviors

before they escalate, [00:01:00] before they

reach that peak?

Carl Draper: That's

really hard question. Because a lot of the times where we're getting to the

stage with the things we're speaking about now. What you are now asking is what

do we do about the things we can't control?

Victoria Bennion:

true.

Carl Draper: What you

can't see coming? For example, there's a plane coming at three 30 this

afternoon.

Carl Draper: Fine,

we'll go after school, mate, pick you up. You get down to the airport at three

15 and the fog rolls in

Victoria Bennion: Oh,

that's so true.

Carl Draper: and now

the plane's diverted and he can see it on the tracker going the opposite

direction.

Carl Draper: Are

things out of your control. So a good one I've had a, a lot of stick on wave

slider recently because we've had the fireworks, you know, the bonfire period,

bonfire night, where a lot of animals get distressed.

Carl Draper: A lot of

people get distressed, which I'm very well aware of. However, Frank is trained,

calm, uncomfortable to go and watch the fireworks because he's, he goes where [00:02:00] Bodhi goes. So we went to see a fireworks

display. He had a great time. We went to Ringwood one weekend and the following

weekend we went to Little down

Carl Draper: and I

wasn't gonna take Frank because it's really busy there, and Bodhi wants to go

on the rides. With your autistic people, you tend to get two types of autistic

people, even though. All autistic people have different traits and severities

and you know, varying degrees of, you tend to get a sensitive.

Carl Draper: Autistic

type want quietness, you know, earphones, that sort of thing. And then you get

your sensory seeker, that's Bodhi. I want it loud, I want fast, I want more, I

want adrenaline. So he wants to go on the rides. So I said, well, we won't take

Frank, and then we can go on the rides. And then I spoke to my youngest

daughter, ki.

Carl Draper: Who's

also got an autistic son and she said, oh, we're gonna go to little Dan. Are

you taking Frank? And I explained why. And she said, well, [00:03:00] how about Zach? My fella goes on the rides

with Bodhi. You hold Frank so Zach Kiers fellow, he'd more than happy to go on

the rides. So we thought, yeah, brilliant. So I took, Frank, took Bodhi, we

went down there, it was absolutely jam packed, shoulder to shoulder with

people. We went an hour early because Bodhi was impatient, and I thought, fine.

Carl Draper: We

walked around, he made a list of all the rides he wanted to go on, which was

basically all of them. um, unfortunately, Kiir and Zach got into the queue and

they sold out tickets.

Natalie Tealdi: Oh

Natalie Tealdi: no.

Carl Draper: Couldn't

get in. Not her fault You know, Just, it just happened to be that busy that

time. Her bless the Keer phones and she's like, I'm really sorry dad.

Carl Draper: We're

almost at the front of the queue and they've just sold out a tickets and like

this just pit of despair starts to come into me. 'cause I'm like, I've now

gotta tell Bodhi it can't go any rides. And we're standing in front of them. So

I had half an hour of hell. I was literally pinned up against the wall and it

was bad for me because I had no [00:04:00]

escape route.

Carl Draper: you

know, I got there in the end, but yeah, it was really difficult. It's a good

opportunity to teach him how to have a strategy and cope with. These situations

that are out of our control.

Carl Draper: you

know, As bad as it was it it turned out really good.

Carl Draper: So you

can't plan for the unseen.

Victoria Bennion: no.

Victoria Bennion: I think that's true. As much as we can try and do everything that we think you're right. These things come up. We had, a day this week where it was raining. I

dunno if you had rain. You probably did. You're not

Victoria Bennion:

that far from

Carl Draper: Yeah.

Victoria Bennion:

Rain and rain and my son's timetable said outdoor learning on one of his slots

in his timetable that he refers to before he goes in

Victoria Bennion: so

he then didn't know what that session would be because it says outdoor

learning, but it can't be outdoor learning because it's rain and then it

spirals into, I can't possibly get outta the car. I can't do this day because

it's raining and it's, it's affected everything. And there's nothing you can do

about the rain, as you say.

Carl Draper: I'm

actually learning to not avoid it. 'cause actually you, I found a [00:05:00] little while ago, it's really unhealthy

because you find yourself trying to work out what can go wrong and then

avoiding it, and then it makes you more stressed.

Victoria Bennion:

true.

Carl Draper: Whereas

now I'm at the point of, well, we just deal with it if and when it happens

because he, he's gotta learn to become independent one day.

Carl Draper: And that

involves negotiating, you know, the...

In this week’s episode of The Autism Mums Podcast, we welcome back Carl Draper for part one of a two-part conversation.

His last episode, learning to hear a child who doesn't speak, sparked so many questions from listeners, that we invited Carl back to talk more about the topic of challenging behaviours and autism.

In this first part, Carl shares his personal experiences as a parent, how his understanding of behaviour has changed over time, and why unmet needs and stress responses are so often misunderstood.

Carl Draper was born in a North Nottinghamshire mining village and moved to Bournemouth at 19, where he served as a beach lifeguard and discovered his love for surfing. Accepted into the Royal Marines, his plans changed after a serious leg injury during a heroic rescue, an event that earned him a Local Hero Award and a feature on BBC’s 999 Rescue. He later became RNLI head trainer for lifeguards across Dorset, then served over a decade with Dorset Ambulance Service. Shifting to education, he trained firefighters and police nationwide before retraining as a mental health nurse. Carl is currently studying at Bournemouth University. In 2015, he founded Waveslider, winning the Bournemouth Tourism Award in 2017, and began documenting life with his son Bodhi in 2020.

• Emotional regulation in parents plays a crucial role in reducing escalation
• Challenging behaviour is often a stress response linked to unmet needs
• Changes in routine and adult stress can significantly impact a child’s ability to cope
• A balance between boundaries and flexibility helps create emotional safety
• Children learn regulation by observing the behaviour of those around them
• Letting go of social judgement and outdated expectations allows families to parent with confidence

Follow Carl’s journey with his son Bodhi on the Waverslider Photography Facebook Page

Follow Carl on Instagram

https://theautismmums.com/

Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums

Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums

Victoria Bennion: [00:00:00] Today we're joined once again by our

friend Carl Draper, who many of you will remember from episode nine. For those

who don't know Carl, he is currently training to be a mental health nurse and

is the founder of Wave Slider, where he shares his brilliant photographs and

documents life with his son Bodhi.

Victoria Bennion:

Frank Bodie's Assistance Dog is also a regular on wave slider. Carl's last

appearance on the podcast really struck a chord, and after that episode went

live, he received an overwhelming number of messages from parents and carers

wanting to know more about how he supports his son through moments of distress.

Victoria Bennion: And

what's often labeled as challenging behavior. So today, Carl is back with us to

talk honestly and openly about exactly that we could talk to Carl for hours. So

we've split our conversation into two episodes. In this first part, Carl shares

his personal journey as a parent. How his understanding of [00:01:00] behavior has changed over time.

Victoria Bennion: The

powerful impact of learning to regulate his own emotions and what it really

looks like to meet chaos with calm, even in the most public and confronting

situations. This is a really raw, reflective, and incredibly insightful

conversation about unmet needs, stress responses, and the reality of parenting

autistic children in a world that doesn't always understand.

Natalie Tealdi:

Welcome to the podcast, Carl. It's great to have you back.

Carl Draper: Hi, how

are you?

Natalie Tealdi: Good.

Thank you. So can we start by explaining how you define challenging behavior in

the context of autism, and can you also give us some examples of what you've

encountered?

Carl Draper: Okay, so

I guess our definition of challenging behavior is. Changing at the moment in

terms or context of autism? I think the one thing to remember where the child

liked Bodhi is that he [00:02:00] is equally

profoundly autistic and a DHD. So you have that autism side where, he likes his

routine.

Carl Draper:

Everything has to be perfect. Everything's good. And then you've got the A DHD

side, which is a constant clash, which is like letting a hand grenade off in

the middle of everything. I quite often think of Bodhi as pizza. He's perfectly

round cut into perfect triangles and comes in a square box.

Natalie Tealdi: I

love that.

Carl Draper: He just

doesn't, it doesn't fit, but it's perfect, the challenging behavior, it all

comes with an unmet need and an inability to communicate his needs. So going

back to prior to when he was medicated for his A DHD, we had daily challenging

behavior where every evening at bedtime he would.

Carl Draper: Go from

settle to completely challenging, pinning you against the wall, pulling your

hair, grabbing your [00:03:00] face. And what I

realized is I think I was the biggest cause of this challenging behavior

because I come from a world where, I grew up in a pit village. Old social norms

in that world where, you know.

Carl Draper: A lot of

people would say, oh, slap never did me any harm. And the way that I was

brought up, I couldn't regulate my own emotions. So when he got challenging, if

that's the word, which is actually a stress response because of an unmet need,

I would then shout, get angry and become stressed, slam a door and display all

the wrong behaviors.

Carl Draper: And do

the wrong thing. And then after a while you realize that I'm teaching him how

to respond in these situations. So then he would slam a door shout and get

angry. And I had, it's not a light bulb moment, but there was certainly a

moment where I just thought, that's me. He's not listening to what I say, but

he's [00:04:00] mirroring what I do.

Carl Draper: We

realized that we needed to change our parenting behaviors and styles and get

some education. Yes, those differences with the autism and the A DHD, but a lot

of it was based on how we reacted to Bodhi. When he had an unmet need. So

number one, I had to learn to regulate my own emotions.

Carl Draper: Now,

learning to hear a child who doesn't speak is the easiest thing I've ever

learned to do, and he was totally silent until seven. Learning to regulate my

own emotions is by far the hardest thing I've ever tried to do, but we are

getting there and we are now seeing the results. So for every night, for nearly

a year.

Carl Draper: At

bedtime, I had to take Frank German shepherd. out the house and go and sit in

the car until Charlie settled him down to bed. And during that time, you're

learning to regulate your own emotions. You're learning new parenting styles,

new behaviors. You're changing the way [00:05:00]

you are. The way you see, the way you think.

Carl Draper: Learning

to put, his needs first. But you do still get other challenging behaviors or a

stress response, which can cause embarrassment. So for example, he might do

that in a shop. You know, some people call it a meltdown and a lot of times I

used to get embarrassed 'cause I was aware that people were watching.

Carl Draper: During

the summertime we went to a superstore Very hot day. So we didn't take Frank,

it was too hot to take. Frank. We went to this superstore and going to a shop

with Bodhi is very difficult. I dunno if you've ever seen supermarket sweep,

Carl Draper: He wants

everything at everything times 10. So he went to this shop and he had a

fixation at the time over bottles of water. Dunno why he's been through the

same with pick and mix sweets. He'll always have a pick and mix tub of sweets,

but never eats them. He just wants to look at them and touch them.

Carl Draper: He is

never eaten one. But this occasion we [00:06:00]

got to the checkout and he wanted a bottle of water from next to the counter

and, the car was full of bottles of water. The house was full of bottles of

water. Every time we went to the shop, he wanted a bottle of water. So I

decided on this day that I was gonna stand my ground and say no, because at

some point we, need to teach him boundaries and that you can't always have what

you want.

Carl Draper: Rather

than he is going to sort of have a meltdown get him a bottle of water for an

easy exit. So he, he had a full on stress response and it ended up on the

floor. I sat on the floor with him and I was now doing the right behaviors. I

was...

In today’s episode, of The Autism Mums Podcast, Victoria is hosting solo as Nat is home with an unwell little one. She’s joined by the wonderful Carla Wainwright, a Holistic Wellness Coach and Relationship Transformation specialist who supports parents and couples navigating the stress, overwhelm, and emotional load that can come when a child’s health or development needs extra support.

Carla Wainwright is a Holistic Wellness Coach and Relationship Transformation specialist who helps parents and couples navigate the stress, disconnection, and overwhelm that can come when a child’s health or development needs extra support. With a graduate degree in biological sciences, a 4-year practitioner diploma in Homeopathy and Heilkunst, and over 25 years as an embodied yoga teacher, Carla blends science, somatic practice, and coaching to guide couples in rekindling intimacy, deepening connection, and restoring shared purpose. Her compassionate, practical approach creates space for parents to thrive - both individually and together—while walking alongside their child’s unique health journey.

• Many relationship challenges stem from the fact that none of us were taught how to stay connected when life feels overwhelming.
• Parenting a neurodivergent or high-needs child can magnify existing patterns of disconnection within a couple.
• Emotional exhaustion and nervous system overload often show up as distance, irritability, or feeling like “roommates” instead of partners.
• Co-regulation—calming your nervous systems together—is often the first gentle step toward rebuilding intimacy.
• Small, simple practices like sitting side-by-side, holding hands, or breathing together can create emotional safety.
• Clear and compassionate communication, especially using “I” language, helps both people feel heard rather than blamed.
• Loving, well-expressed boundaries can strengthen a relationship rather than push partners apart.
• Prioritising your relationship supports the whole household
• Understanding each partner’s unique coping style can ease misunderstandings and reduce conflict.
• The path back to connection starts with nervous system regulation—first for yourself, and then with each other.

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carlawainwright/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CarlaWainwrightCreatrix/

Website: https://www.carlawainwright.com/

Free Gift: The Connected Way Forward – Carla’s free 3-minute connection practice for couples, designed to gently rebuild closeness even when life feels overwhelming

https://www.carlawainwright.com/connected-way-forward

Website  https://theautismmums.com/

Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums

Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums

Rebuilding Relationships While Supporting Neurodivergent

Children with Carla Wainwright

[00:00:00]

Victoria Bennion:

Hello and welcome. It's Victoria and I'm on my own today as Nat has an ill

child, but I'm grateful to be joined by our guest, Carla Wayne Wright. Carla is

a holistic wellness coach and relationship transformation specialist who helps

parents and couples find their way through the stress and emotional load that

comes with supporting a child whose development or health needs are a little

different.

Victoria Bennion:

Welcome to the podcast, Carla. It's great to have you here with us today.

Carla Wainwright: Oh,

I'm thrilled to be here. Thank you.

Victoria Bennion: How

did you get into this line of work? I wonder if you Could talk to us about your

own journey.

Carla Wainwright:

Sure. Yeah. So, you know, my background actually started in science, so I

worked for many years as a wildlife biologist. I always had like a deep passion

for nature and animals, and I began to shift into homeopathy and holistic

health. As a result of, you know, my own healing journey. And when I was

practicing as a homeopath, you know, I was working with families who had

children with complex or neurodivergent needs and, you know, [00:01:00] parents is usually the mother would come

in, of course wanting to support the child, but it became really clear to me,

of course, there was this immense stress that the parents were carrying and

that the stress was showing up in the family dynamic and also in the

relationship. And so I would always encourage the mother to get support and,

and treatment as well because,

Carla Wainwright: it,

the mother's falling apart. It's so hard for her to support her, her child, and

her family. And so over time, I did this for quite a while and then in my own

journey , of healing my own trauma, I became a sex, love and relationship

coach. And that worked naturally expanded to supporting women and couples.

Carla Wainwright: And

I have a deep. Passion to support couples, to reconnect to , their intimacy, ,

their connection, their emotional resilience. I, I really feel that. You know,

the container of the couple., It's like this beautiful, sacred container for

growth and evolution. But we're not taught how to do this.

Carla Wainwright:

Relationships [00:02:00] can be beautiful and

powerful and deeply challenging, and that's even without all the extra

responsibilities of, of parenting and caregiving. One of my passions is

supporting couples to, strip off some of those layers of their own hurt

experiences or traumas to really connect back to one another in the ways that

brought them together in the first place so that their relationship and their

families can flourish.

Carla Wainwright: We

all wanna thrive. But often we need support to be able to do that. So it, it

is, it's one of my great joys to be able to support couples on that path and in

turn, really allow their families and their childrens to thrive as well.

Victoria Bennion: Oh,

that's lovely. What are some of the common challenges that you see couples

facing when they're raising a child who needs extra support?

Carla Wainwright:

Yeah, so this is something that. Many, many couples deal with. And you know,

actually I would say that couples who may not even have children face all kinds

of challenges. And, um, I think I'd like to preface this [00:03:00] by, by saying, I, I feel like

relationships are something that we're just supposed to magically know how to

do without any training.

Carla Wainwright:

And, uh, the reality is, is that most of us didn't, we weren't necessarily

modeled great relationships in our families, like I certainly wasn't. Some of

us were lucky to have parents who modeled great relationships, but it's not the

norm. And then of course we have culture and just society modeling, not always

healthy relationships.

Carla Wainwright: So

we're somehow just supposed to magically know how to navigate relationships and

have a thriving partnership that is able to weather all kinds of storms and

challenges. And the reality is, is that we don't really have. That base. So I

always come to, you know, the idea of relationships with a lot of compassion

because.

Carla Wainwright:

Often the starting point is that we actually don't really know how to stay

connected, especially when things are difficult. So if we layer on top of that

parenting a child who needs extra support, this really then can amplify [00:04:00] a lot of preexisting patterns of

disconnection that might be already.

Carla Wainwright:

Present in a relationship. And you know, there's so many challenges that

couples can face. So of course there's the emotional exhaustion, nervous system

overload. You know, parents are running on empty living in fight or flight

mode. And then we can layer on top of that for women. As they move into their

later thirties and forties all of the perimenopausal symptoms, which are also

exacerbating stress responses and hormone fluctuations and make everything in

life that much more difficult.

Carla Wainwright: Um.

Other challenges that parents face are, you know, there's an uneven load. Often

one parent is taking on more of the emotional, logistical, or therapeutic care

and that can create , more distance. And you know, when that distance really

begins to take hold, the identity of the couple. Begins to become lost and the

couple really starts to function more...

In this week's episode of The Autism Mums Podcast  we're talking about something that many families find really tough, the Christmas season. It's a time that's meant to feel magical, but for many of our autistic children, it can actually be really overwhelming, unpredictable, and stressful.

Understanding Christmas Overwhelm: Many autistic children find the Christmas season stressful due to changes in routine and expectations.

Addressing Pre-Christmas Challenges: Difficulties can arise well before Christmas Day, with alterations in school activities and the build-up of holiday expectations.

Communication and Preparation: Clear communication about what to expect can help reduce anxiety in children. Discussing plans with them beforehand is crucial.

Adjusting Traditions: Families may wish to consider adapting their traditions to better suit their child's needs, such as avoiding large gatherings or adjusting meal times.

Managing Social Expectations: The pressure to participate in Christmas events, such as school plays and gatherings, can cause significant distress for neurodivergent children.

Sensory Sensitivities: Decorations and festive environments can be overwhelming, emphasising the need for a personalised approach to celebrations.

Flexibility on Christmas Day: It can be helpful to allow for breaks and personal space on Christmas Day, adapting activities to match children's comfort levels.

Creating a Supportive Environment: Setting up a calm and understanding atmosphere at home can make the season more enjoyable for neurodivergent family members.

Encouraging Open Dialogue: Encouraging children to express their needs, such as using visual aids to communicate comfort levels, can help.

Finding Joy in Simplicity: Embracing a less traditional Christmas that meets individual family needs can be just as fulfilling as adhering to societal expectations.

Website – https://theautismmums.com/

Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums

Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums

Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums

Victoria

Bennion: [00:00:00] Today

we're talking about something that many families find really tough.

It's the Christmas season. It's a time that's meant to feel magical,

but for many of our autistic children, it can actually be really

overwhelming, unpredictable, and stressful.

Natalie

Tealdi: We're gonna talk through some of the common

challenges that come long before Christmas Day. What happens on the

day itself, and what we've learned works for our families. Hopefully

it helps you feel a little more understood and a little more

supported this year.

Victoria

Bennion: For many of our children, the struggles start way

before Christmas day when everything starts to change. Routines are

different expectations, the look and the feel of a school. For one of

my children, these struggles were really apparent from preschool age

and they had a lot of trauma to work through in subsequent years of,

it sounds awful, doesn't it?

But the trauma from Christmas,

from doing Christmas at school every year.

Natalie

Tealdi: I know it's something that you think will be

really fun and I know that's where it comes from. It comes from a

[00:01:00] place of yeah, let's be a bit

more relaxed and make it really fun for the kids in a build up to

Christmas. But actually for some children it's just horrific.

Victoria

Bennion: Absolutely. And for some it is fun. I think worth

acknowledging that, but for our children, it's really not fun. I

remember there was an instance we went into school and they were

completely off timetable and. He was having so much anxiety. And I

said to the TA on the door, can you tell him what to expect from the

day? What have you got planned? And she said, oh, you know, lots of

fun things. And I thought we might as well just go back to the car

right now. He was horrified.

Natalie

Tealdi: Yeah. It's that not knowing what's happening,

isn't it? And everything being different and looking different.

Victoria

Bennion: The decorations there was one year the PTA did

this lovely winter wonderland outside the school and it was a

surprise to the children as they came in and we walked up the

pavement and there's all these oohs and ahs and there was a snow

machine and people dressed [00:02:00] up

and my son was completely white. Really, really anxious. I think he

made it into school, but he couldn't speak. He was just absolutely

horrified by it.

Natalie

Tealdi: Yeah, what used to upset my son was the Christmas

jumper days, so not wearing a school uniform that really upset him

because, you know, when we go to school we wear uniform and that's

just how it is and well, why are they changing it? And that creates

anxiety and uncertainty and it is things that are supposed to be fun

and that are fun for a lot of people, but not others.

Victoria

Bennion: Yeah, and actually when, I didn't know back then

that. Change had such an impact. That was in my oblivious era. But

actually when you think about it, there's so much change, isn't

there? Another pressure that I know my son felt was the Christmas

plays every year, and that's when I noticed it at preschool. It was

the first play and all the family were coming in. It was gonna be in

the village hall, and. I know my timekeeping [00:03:00]

isn't always the most amazing,

Natalie

Tealdi: No comment.

Victoria

Bennion: No come on. We were. We were not early, put it

that way. We were not early. But the reason we went early was because

he kept taking off his shepherd's costume. I kept putting it back on.

He kept taking it off and in the end I took him to the village hall

and took him to the room where all the children were and handed them

the costume. And I said, I can't. Get him to wear it. It wasn't that

he protested really loudly, he just kept taking it off. Looking back,

I feel so bad about that, that whole event, but I remember taking my

place in the audience.

Were you there? Did you come?

No, He must have been working.

So it was the wider family and, he was holding onto one of the

preschool workers' hands. She was lovely with him and he was wearing

his costume and they led them round and they sat up on the stage and

I watched him just sit on the stage frozen. He didn't join in. He was

supposed to do a dance. He didn't get up and do the [00:04:00]

dance and. I've just felt so awful for him. And in later years when I

knew that how much of a struggle that was for him, I looked back with

even more horror that he'd had to go through that. In fact, one of

the mums had a recording of it that I saw a couple of years ago, and

watching it back, I actually had to leave.

It was from a good place, but

looking at, oh, how cute are they? And all I could see was. Just the

terror. The terror in his face, and then the guilt that he'd gone

through that and I hadn't known.

Natalie

Tealdi: I think when you know, years later, things look

very different in their. I know I've looked back at videos and

thought, oh my gosh, he's really struggling there, and I had no idea

at the time. I didn't understand.

Victoria

Bennion: Yeah.

Natalie

Tealdi: But also I think with those plays, it's something

that you really look forward to as a mom and a parent.

Like just seeing them all cute

and dressed up. And it's something that you really look forward to

seeing, isn't it? And I don't think [00:05:00]

we've ever had a successful one

Victoria

Bennion: No.

Natalie

Tealdi: with either of mine.

Victoria

Bennion: No, I don't. I'm not sure that we have two. I

think the one in reception, I seem to remember they dressed up as

animals and that. Was the only one that he participated in. There

wasn't a stage, so maybe that was why. But they were down on the

floor just in front of us and I

Toileting challenges can feel overwhelming for parents of neurodivergent children, especially when withholding, accidents, or anxiety become part of everyday life. In this episode, we’re joined by the compassionate and highly experienced Charmaine Champ, who brings over 30 years of professional and lived experience to help families understand what’s really happening inside their child’s body. Charmaine shares why toileting can feel so hard, the small steps that make progress possible, and the gentle, practical strategies that help children feel safe and confident.

Charmaine Champ is a Registered Nurse in Learning Disability (RNLD), Community Nurse Specialist (BSc Hons), Queen’s Nursing Institute Award winner, and a Continence, Sleep, and Understanding Emotions Consultant with over 30 years’ experience supporting children and young people. Drawing on a rich background across clinics, schools, charities, NHS services, and family homes, as well as her own lived experience as a mum in a neurodivergent household, Charmaine specialises in helping children recognise, understand, and respond to the messages their bodies send, so wees and poos can happen comfortably and safely. Her approach blends research-backed guidance with a compassionate, gut-health-informed lens, empowering families, carers, and professionals to support neurodivergent children with toileting, sleep, and emotional regulation in a way that truly meets their individual needs.

Why recognising internal body cues matters for understanding a child’s toileting challenges and choosing the right starting point.

What withholding really signals and how seeing it as communication—not behaviour—shift the whole approach.

Breaking skills into tiny, achievable steps helps children feel safe, confident, and less overwhelmed.

Identifying missed signals such as difficulty noticing hunger, fullness, or the need to poo or wee can unlock new progress.

Sensory needs play a powerful role, influencing where, when, and how a child feels able to use the toilet.

Consistency across home, school, and healthcare builds familiarity and reduces anxiety for neurodivergent children.

Medications like Movicol require proper guidance, and understanding dosage and purpose helps parents advocate with clarity.

Using visuals and accessible communication makes environments more supporting and inclusive for all children.

Understanding the ‘why’ behind toileting patterns gives parents reassurance, confidence, and a clearer sense of direction.

Bristol Stool Chart

Free gift: https://clear-steps-consultancy.newzenler.com/courses/what-to-do-about-poo

Email: Info@clearstepsconsultancy.co.uk

Website: https://www.clearstepsconsultancy.co.uk

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ContinenceConsultantTrainer

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/continenceconsultanttrainer

Website – https://theautismmums.com/

Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums

Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums

Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums

Victoria Bennion:

Today, we’re talking about toileting - it's a topic that many families navigate behind closed doors without proper guidance and clarity. To help us bring light, understanding, and practical support to this area, we’re joined by the wonderful Charmaine Champ. Charmaine is a Queen’s Nursing Institute Award–winning specialist with over 30 years of experience supporting children and young people with their toileting, sleep, and emotional regulation needs.

She’s also a mum in a neurodivergent household, so she understands these challenges from both a professional and a personal perspective.

In our conversation, she explains why toileting can be so complex for our children, what might be happening inside their bodies, and how small, gentle steps can lead to real progress.

If your child struggles with toileting we think you’re going to find this episode incredibly helpful.

Welcome to the podcast, Charmaine.

Charmaine Champ:

Thank you very much..

Victoria Bennion: Can

you share your journey and talk a little bit about what inspired you to

dedicate over 30 years to supporting children and young people, particularly

those with learning disabilities?

Charmaine Champ:

Yeah, of course. . It probably started when I had a school placement. So you

remember when you were at sort of school? Many years ago. I don't think they do

it now, but many years ago I used to have like a work placement and I worked in

a special needs school as from my work placement and absolutely loved it.

Charmaine Champ: And

I was like, oh, I really. I really like doing this. I'd like to do more of it.

And then I decided that I was going to become a nurse, but I wanted to be a

learn disability nurse. And when I was doing my different placements, I was

working with lots of different people, families, children's, all different

ages.

Charmaine Champ: And

just thought, do you know what, I just, that's what I wanna specialize in. I

just want to [00:01:00] help people get their

views across because so often things were happening to people and. They didn't

know, like, I worked with a lot of children where they had really complex

cases, so they may be non-speaking, they may have difficulties like getting about

physically as well.

Charmaine Champ: I

wanted to help with like communication side of things, just trying to get their

message across. So that's where it all started from work placement. You never

think that these things would start from there, would you?

Victoria Bennion: Oh

no, I did mine in a barrister's chambers. It's

Natalie Tealdi: Oh

yeah.

Victoria Bennion:

random.

Charmaine Champ: I

mean, you never know where these things take you to.

Charmaine Champ: Over

the years cause then I now live in a neurodivergent household. So I not only

have had to my professional experience, but I have personal experience as well.

Victoria Bennion:

Could you talk a little bit about your approach?

Charmaine Champ:

Yeah, of course. . I've been able to gather, , research that's taken [00:02:00] place over the years. So there's lots of

different research available as well as like my experience as well, and put it

all together within our holistic p and p approach. So this is all about not

just looking at one area.

Charmaine Champ:

Often you'll hear. I've been to the doctor or I've been to consultant wherever,

and they're just looking at medication or they're just looking at, you know, it

tends to be just looking at medication, and although medication plays a vital

role and it does help, it isn't the only way to help our children.

Charmaine Champ: So

what I do, I've developed, the holistic p and p approach to make sure that we

are looking at more than one area because it's not just about just sitting on

the toilet equally. It's not just about just having medication. And often I

find that toileting progress isn't able to be made when just one approach is

looked at.[00:03:00]

Charmaine Champ: So

when our children, if they're just having the medication and we've been in that

process for years and years and years and we just think we're making no

progress whatsoever. My child is still having accidents. They're still

withholding, you know, they're still only pooing in an nappy, whatever that may

be.

Charmaine Champ: , It

won't work because like we mentioned before, it may not , be given them the

right way, but equally we haven't looked at the other areas. So we tend to look

at, the p and the P approach, the holistic approach to make sure that we are

looking at more than one area to make sure that our children can progress in a

way that's gonna...

In this week's episode of The Autism Mums Podcast we welcome Karen Mason to the show.

Karen Mason grew up in Hertfordshire with five brothers and built a 35-year career with Bourne Leisure, one of the UK’s leading holiday park operators. Alongside her professional journey, she supported three neurodivergent family members and cared for her father through dementia. These personal experiences highlighted the lack of support for neurodivergent families in holiday parks. Driven to make a difference, Karen founded My Safe Place, combining her industry expertise with her passion for inclusion. Her mission is to create safe, welcoming environments for all families to enjoy accessible and stress-free holidays.

Understanding Personal Experiences: Karen Mason's journey emphasises the importance of personal experiences in shaping her understanding of neurodivergent needs and challenges.

The Importance of Inclusion: Karen's mission with My Safe Place focuses on creating inclusive environments that cater specifically to the needs of neurodivergent families.

Recognising the Need for Support: The lack of support for neurodivergent families in holiday settings highlights a significant gap in accessibility and understanding within the hospitality industry.

Creating Safe Spaces: Karen's work is dedicated to fostering safe, welcoming spaces that allow families to enjoy stress-free holidays together.

Industry Expertise Meets Compassion: Karen combines her professional background in the holiday sector with her passion for inclusion, showcasing how expertise can drive meaningful change.

www.mysafeplacesouthern.co.uk

Email: karen@mysafeplacesouthern.co.uk

Facebook: @mysafeplacesouthern

Instagram: @mysafeplacesouthernuk

Website – https://theautismmums.com/

Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums

Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums

Follow us on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theautismmums

Creating Inclusive Holidays for Neurodivergent Families with Karen Mason

Victoria Bennion: [00:00:00] Welcome to the podcast. Karen,

Karen Mason: Thanks.

Victoria Bennion: could you start by talking us through your journey to starting my safe place please?

Karen Mason: Yeah, sure. So I've actually worked in the park industry, holiday parks for over 35 years now, and worked in various roles operationally, managing parks, all sort of jobs. I decided about 18 months ago after an episode supporting my brother and his neurodivergent children that I wanted to pivot where I was in the business and help and encourage parks to become more inclusive when it came to neurodivergent guests.

So I literally stopped what I was doing and. Spent now researching, talking to lots of families, working with local charities, and my Safe place evolved. And here we are. We're to ready to [00:01:00] go.

Natalie Tealdi: Oh, that's brilliant. Excellent. I understand you pivoted overnight. Your business was it the experience with your nephew that was the catalyst for that?

Karen Mason: Absolutely. So my brother has three neurodivergent children that I've helped support over the years and the stress of that situation actually led to my brother being admitted to hospital 18 months ago. So I stepped in to help support the family in many different ways. And it was a conversation one day with my brother where I was saying, look you guys.

Need a holiday break. He just looked at me in disbelief, said where are we gonna go? Nowhere is geared up for us and we've tried to have two breaks on holiday parks and it failed and it was really stressful. And I just had a light bulb moment because I work in that industry and why hadn't I, it was so true that there isn't [00:02:00] accommodation that's safe and secure for neurodivergent families. There's no provision in terms of staff training, sensory areas, and I went to bed and I woke up the next day and I said to my husband, I'm setting up a new business and it's called My Safe Place, and this is what we're doing.

Natalie Tealdi: how brilliant. Yeah, I can talk from my experience really. 'cause we used to have a caravan of our own and we. He took our son, I think only a handful of times, but every time was really difficult. I think he got overexcited and it just ended up being a really stressful experience for us. And I think you've really tapped into a gap there because if they were better set up, then there'd be places to go when they're dysregulated and just having that more supportive environment, you don't feel like such an outsider.

Karen Mason: Absolutely. I've heard from so many families now I didn't realize it was such a problem actually to get [00:03:00] away. It evolved because originally I thought, okay, what can we do? Can we maybe just look at encouraging parks to maybe have a sensory room on site, and then you go one step further and think actually that's not enough.

The main feedback I had from families was accommodation that wasn't safe. They were worried about. Damage to the property. Various other things. So because I've helped design a lot of park homes in my career and I've got a strong connection with the manufacturers, I was able to go and sit with them and design a diverse, friendly unit.

Natalie Tealdi: Brilliant.

Victoria Bennion: Yeah, could you talk to us about what that looks like?

Karen Mason: Okay, so it's still slightly under wraps a little bit at the moment. However it's say the heart of it really was based around safety. So I know a lot of the parents were saying the caravan doors and windows were not lockable, and so they. [00:04:00] Children were trying to escape. That was a big issue.

Things like in the kitchen, having safety door locks, the magnetic locks on the units. And we've also designed in things like robust furniture. With rounded edges. We've got flooring that's stain resistant. So all the things that as a mother, you'd be panicking a little bit about,

Natalie Tealdi: Yeah.

Karen Mason: The safety.

And then we are going to be having, bedroom will be a purely sensory bedroom. So we'll have a safe bed in there and we'll have, a unit and various other items so that if the child is, needing to regulate you don't have to actually leave the accommodation, you can. You can just relax. And one of the main things I wanted was for the master bedroom and en suite to feel [00:05:00] comfortable and luxurious because let's face it, as parents, you need a break. You need to feel like you're at a holiday. So I didn't wanna design the unit so it looked like an accessible unit or clinical.

It still would very much suit. Young children because it's got a lot of safety measures.

Natalie Tealdi: Sounds

Victoria Bennion: I think it's, yeah. It's great that you've actually spoken to families and you've used that to inform the changes. 'cause they. Sound so well thought out.

Karen Mason: Yeah. I was really lucky as well to have worked with local charity, diverse abilities. They've been incredible. We spent some time with them talking to the staff. We actually did a photo shoot with them for our new website. So the feedback was great.

It's difficult, 'cause one size doesn't fit all. 'cause as you'll be aware, each child is so different. But I just wanted. To have some provision. 'cause something's better than nothing at all. So even if a [00:06:00] park doesn't have all of the provisions that I would like, if they maybe didn't have the accommodation but had the sensory room or a sensory garden and we did some staff training, that would be music to my ears.

Natalie Tealdi: Yeah. I think a big part of it is building that awareness, isn't it, as well, and the training's such a big part of that.

Karen Mason: Yeah, I'm actually working with a training provider who specializes in activities for neurodivergent children. Because again, on some of the larger sites where they have entertainments and activities we decided the training we needed.

Introduction to neuro diversity for seasonal staff and part-timers. Then we'd have training activity team leaders, management, and we would like them to have a site ambassador who is responsible for [00:07:00] overseeing all of the above. And if they tick those boxes that we then would benchmark them. Be part of our accreditation scheme that we'd like to roll out.

Natalie Tealdi: Brilliant.

Victoria Bennion: Yeah. Fantastic.

Natalie Tealdi: And you mentioned your modular sensory garden rooms. Could you tell us more about that 

Karen Mason: so in the early days, because my husband is from a background of construction we. wanted to build sensory rooms for people at...

Another episode from the archives this week. We're returning to our episode where we dive into the unique challenges of raising a child with a PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance) profile. We're sharing our personal stories, strategies, and reflections to help parents and caregivers better understand and support their children navigating PDA-related behaviours.

1. PDA is driven by anxiety and a need for control; traditional demands can trigger refusal.
2. Offering controlled choices helps reduce pressure and gives children a sense of agency.
3. Visual schedules and plenty of preparation help ease transitions and reduce stress.
4. Managing your own calm and letting go of nonessential demands are important for low-demand parenting.
5. It’s okay to adjust family routines to what works for your child, even if it looks different from your original parenting ideals.
6. Misunderstandings from others can be painful but focusing on your child’s needs is what matters most.

PDA Society

Dr. Naomi Fisher webinars and resources

https://theautismmums.com/

Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums

Follow us on Facebook @theautismmums

We're returning to the archives again this week to our episode all about EHCP's. We’re talking about the journey to getting an EHCP - what it is, why it matters, and what the process looked like for our families.

We’ll share the lessons we learned along the way with the hope that it helps you navigate the process and feel a little more prepared.

An EHCP can provide vital, legally binding support

You don't need a formal diagnosis to apply for an EHCP

Schools may not always initiate an EHCP request. If they don't parents can.

Timelines and deadlines are crucial - keep a track of key dates.

Support groups, SENDIASS and organisations like IPSEA can provide guidance and practical help.

The right provision can make a huge difference to your child's wellbeing.

SENDIASS (Special Educational Needs and Disability Information Advice and Support Services)

IPSEA (Independent Provider of Special Education Advice) — ipsea.org.uk

EarlyBird course (National Autistic Society support programme for parents)

https://theautismmums.com/

Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums

Follow us on Facebook @theautismmums

In this week’s encore episode of The Autism Mums Podcast, Victoria reveals the emotional journey of her son’s autism diagnosis. She reflects on the early signs that were often misunderstood and the battles faced in educational settings, culminating in the significant moment of receiving an official diagnosis. As one of our most popular episodes, we wanted to share this again as there are so many on this path to diagnosis.

Autism signs can often be masked or misunderstood, especially in young children.

Building a support network of other parents is crucial.

Professionals may miss signs too, trusting your instincts matters.

The diagnosis process can feel long and isolating, but community support makes a difference.

Receiving a diagnosis is often a moment of both relief and grief and that's OK.

The Early Birds Course (National Autistic Society)

ASDivas and Dudes Support Group

The Girl with the Curly Hair by Alis Rowe

The Complete Guide to Asperger’s Syndrome by Tony Attwood

TADDS Outreach Team

Total Children's Therapy

ADOS-2 Autism Diagnostic Observation Schedule

CAMHS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services)

https://theautismmums.com/

Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums

Follow us on Facebook: @theautismmums

In this week's episode of The Autism Mums Podcast we're returning to our earlier episode where we talk about ways to look after yourself when your child is having a tough day.

How supporting our children with their emotions can leave us feeling completely drained.

Common mistakes we’ve made when trying to "push through" a tough day.

Simple ways we try to carve out moments of calm: meditation, breathing space, and gentle resets.

How creating a comforting environment - with blankets, candles, soft music - can make a difference.

Allowing yourself to cancel non-essential tasks or meetings when you need breathing space.

The power of talking it out with someone who truly understands.

Finding and building a supportive community around you.

The importance of zoning out, resting, and knowing that tomorrow is a new day.

Gabby Bernstein’s Meditation App

https://theautismmums.com/

Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums

We're re-releasing another episode from the archives this week where we talk about the practical ways we can help our autistic children with daily life.

We’re sharing some of the things that have helped us make daily life a bit easier with our autistic children. From using timers and visual timetables to experimenting with tooth brushes and finding softer clothing.

These are ideas that have worked for us, they might help you too, or simply offer reassurance that you’re not alone on this journey.

Timers and visual supports can help ease transitions by giving your child a sense of control and predictability.

Choosing soft, seamless clothing may make a difference for children who find layers uncomfortable.

Toothbrushing challenges might be eased by trying different tools like U-shaped or triple-angled toothbrushes.

Flexibility is key - what works one day might not work the next, and that’s okay.

Planning days out in advance with visual itineraries can reduce anxiety about what's coming next.

Noise sensitivity might be supported by using ear defenders, earbuds, or listening to favourite music.

Strong smells can sometimes be managed with things like balaclavas or carrying scents like orange oil to mask overwhelming smells.

Having a sensory kit (with familiar snacks, toys, and calming tools) may offer comfort when you're out and about.

Here are some of the tools and resources discussed in this episode:

1. Visual timers
2. Laminated visual timetables
3. Seamless/sensory-friendly clothing
4. U-shaped toothbrush and triple-angled toothbrush
5. Ear defenders
6. Bach's Rescue Remedy
7. Orange Essential Oil
8. Tiger balm
9. The Early Birds course by the National Autistic Society
10. Stretchy resistance bands for calming sensory feedback

https://theautismmums.com/

Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums

Follow us on Facebook @theautismmums

In this week’s re-released episode of The Autism Mums Podcast, we’re talking about something that so many families raising autistic children will recognise - the exhausting and often disheartening process of dealing with the local authority.

This episode is an honest look at how hard it can be to get what your child needs and how important it is to stay organised, persistent and strong.

Keeping on top of it all: Parents and carers are often left chasing reports, updates, and decisions just to keep things moving.

You Can’t Assume Progress is Happening (unfortunately): If you're not following up, you're at risk of falling off the radar.

Options for Your Child: Parents are frequently kept in the dark about available options regarding alternative provision and specialist schools

Travel Expectations Can Be Unrealistic: Specialist schools may be far from home, making logistics overwhelming.

Change is Needed: Better communication, transparency and supportive systems would ease the burden on both families and staff.

https://theautismmums.com/

Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums

Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums

We're returning to the archives for this episode of The Autism Mums Podcast. We're talking about some of the real challenges families face with the current education system, especially when it comes to supporting autistic children.

Outdated Education System: The current education system is often rigid and not designed to accommodate the diverse needs of neurodivergent children.

Importance of Flexibility: There's a need for more flexible learning environments that allow for play and creativity, especially for younger children.

Struggles with Inclusion: Being in school is different from being included in school; many children face challenges that are not adequately addressed.

Identifying Needs Early: Early identification of challenges, such as speech or coordination issues, is crucial, but support often falls short.

Training for Educators: There is a significant need for enhanced training for teachers on special educational needs to better support neurodivergent students.

Impact of Environment: The classroom environment, including displays and changes, can greatly affect a child’s ability to learn and cope.

Communication Gaps: There are often communication breakdowns between schools, parents, and local authorities, leading to misunderstandings and lack of support.

Mental Health Considerations: The mental health of both children and parents is deeply affected by the educational experience and the pressure to conform.

Advocacy and Trusting Instincts: Parents should trust their instincts regarding their child's needs and advocate strongly for appropriate support.

Systemic Challenges: Financial motivations can influence decisions made about educational support, complicating the advocacy process for parents.

The quote Victoria mentioned seeing on social media is: When a child at school is anxious about going home, concerns would be raised. But when a child is anxious about going to school, we as parents are expected to encourage them to go no matter what. Think about that for a second. - seen on CureJoy Kids on Facebook.

https://theautismmums.com/

Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums

Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums

In this week's episode of The Autism Mums Podcast we're talking about travelling with autistic children. Whether it's a one night stay, a weekend with grandparents, or a long holiday.

Trips that other families might find routine can involve a huge amount of planning, uncertainty, and sensory challenges - different beds and pillows, unfamiliar food, noisy or crowded spaces, and even hidden safety hazards in accommodation.

We're sharing our experiences - what helped, what didn't, and our suggestions of what might help you too.

• Small preparations can help. Consider doing short practice stays before a long trip and build up time away gradually if that feels manageable for your family.
• Bring familiar comforts: favourite pillows, blankets, trusted foods, and familiar toiletries (toothpaste, shampoo) can reduce sensory upset and make sleep and routines easier.
• Pack a comfort/essentials bag: include fidget toys, calming smells, noise-reducing items, a spare set of safe foods, charging cables and any sensory supports you rely on.
• Make plans but stay flexible: a loose “what if” plan for meltdowns, exits or separation can help you respond quickly, but be ready to adjust if things change.
• Think about personal space: shared rooms or cabins can reduce opportunities to retreat. Consider quieter accommodation options, balconies or separate rooms where possible.
• Check provider policies in advance. Ask hotels, cruise lines or attractions about quieter rooms, room layouts, food policies and any autism-friendly services they offer.
• Use airport and venue support. Request assistance like fast-track check-in, quiet lounges or sensory rooms where available to reduce waiting and crowd stress.
• Balance siblings’ needs. Plan some separate activities or downtime so children with different needs can recharge without upsetting each other.
• Learn from each trip. Make brief notes about what worked and what didn’t so your next trip can be easier to plan.
• Be kind to yourselves! Not every holiday will go perfectly. Celebrate small wins and prioritise calm and safety over trying to “do it all.”

Website – https://theautismmums.com/

Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/theautismmums

Follow us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theautismmums