Explore every episode of the podcast The AuDHD Boss: Neurodiversity at Work with Brett Whitmarsh

An ADHD video makes you think, “That’s me.” How do you know whether its explanation is accurate?

My journey toward a formal ADHD and autism diagnosis began with people sharing their lived experiences on social media. In this episode, clinical psychologist Dr. Monica Johnson, known as Dr. J, joins me to discuss how to evaluate online ADHD information while recognizing the value of those shared experiences.

We explore the “relatability trap,” common experiences presented as ADHD-specific symptoms, and why confidence and credentials don’t settle whether a claim is correct. We also discuss parasocial relationships, how creators respond to corrections, and oversold treatments, supplements, and ADHD hacks.

If online content has you considering an ADHD assessment, Dr. J offers a practical starting point: consider the care you can access and look for relevant clinical experience.

Dr. J hosts ADHD And… on The ADHD Channel for Women from Understood.org.

Explore The ADHD Channel for Women:
https://www.understood.org/en/podcasts/adhd-channel

For workplace coaching and neuroinclusive workplace or management programs:
https://audhdboss.com

I’m Brett, the AuDHD Boss. On this channel, we talk about ADHD, AuDHD, and autism in the workplace.

Do you ever feel that wave of avoidance with your ADHD, even with the things you genuinely want to do? Or, if something doesn't have a clear direction or maybe there are too many steps or it just isn't a rewarding task -- is it hard for you to start?

I know these are some of the issues I struggle with when faced with getting started on many projects. It's known as having trouble with task initiation.

If you’re a regular listener, you might remember an episode from The ADHD Channel for Women on the feed recently. Well, today I am excited to share another! It’s from Understood.org, a nonprofit helping millions navigate neurodivergence. Their channel features three distinct shows covering relationships, neurodivergence in current news, and practical strategy from an ADHD clinical psychologist —who you’ll hear today.

The episode I’m about to play for you is about ADHD and avoidance.

Dr. Monica Johnson, also known as Dr. J, helps us identify why our executive function has so much trouble with task initiation and why our ADHD does this. This is another episode that just shows why I love Understood.org so much. Dr. J offers up very accessible explanation about the "why" behind our ADHD and then moves right into what we can do when the avoidance happens. I know for me the avoidance can hit hard and it feels like trying to run fast but I'm stuck in slow motion.

This episode is so incredibly helpful and also covers the emotional impact of how this affects us.

For more episodes, search for “THE ADHD CHANNEL FOR WOMEN” in your podcast app or click here for more:

https://lnk.to/adhdchannelforwomenFD!theaudhdboss

We’re doing something a little different today. I’m sharing an episode from The ADHD Channel for Women.

It’s from Understood.org, a nonprofit helping millions navigate neurodivergence. Their channel features three distinct shows covering relationships, neurodivergence in current news, and practical strategy from an ADHD clinical psychologist —who you’ll hear today. The episode I’m about to play for you is called, “ADHD and living up to potential.”

Dr. Monica Johnson, also known as Dr. J, helps us with that voice in many of our heads that often makes us feel those elements of shame for not being perfect because of our ADHD.

Here is the episode from the ADHD Channel for Women called: ADHD and living up to potential.

You can learn more about Understood.org and the ADHD Channel for Women here:

https://lnk.to/adhdchannelforwomenFD!theaudhdboss

If you've been placed on a Performance Improvement Plan—or think one might be coming—you may be wondering whether it's actually a chance to improve or whether your company has already decided it's time for you to go.

In this episode, I talk with Vicki Yang, a fractional people leader with more than 20 years of HR experience, about what Performance Improvement Plans, or PiPs, are supposed to do, what they may mean for your job, and whether it's possible to come back from one.

We talk about what can make a PiP more recoverable, warning signs that performance concerns may be escalating, what to know when you're asked to sign a PiP, and what to consider once you've been placed on one.

We also dig into the experience of autistic, ADHD, and AuDHD employees—including vague expectations, unclear feedback, documentation, workplace accommodations, and the communication breakdowns that can happen long before someone reaches a PIP.

Vicki also shares what managers can do differently, including giving clearer feedback, explaining what expectations actually look like, checking for understanding, and addressing problems before they reach the point of a formal performance plan.

This conversation is for general informational purposes and is not legal advice. Employment laws vary by location, and workplace policies and individual circumstances differ.

For more information about Vicki:

https://www.victoriayang.com/

Can you take a special interest or hyperfixation and turn it into a job?

I never intended to become a vice president. It happened accidentally.

When I look back at my career—from video production and broadcast journalism to social media, podcasting, publishing, leadership, and the work I do now—I can see how one interest kept leading to another.

In this episode, I talk about how I used transferable skills to move from one kind of work into another, and how breaking down the things you do around a hobby, special interest, or hyperfixation can help you identify skills you may be able to use on a résumé, in a cover letter, or during an interview.

I also talk about how discovering that I'm autistic and ADHD helped me understand my own career differently: the hyperfixations, the monotropism, and why I needed work that interested me and gave me energy.

Because when you break an interest down into the individual things you're actually doing, you may find skills you can take with you into other kinds of work.

Skills are skills.

Check out the Drains and Sparks AuDHD Workplace Workbook

My AuDHD masked persona helped me succeed at work. The problem is, the more successful that persona became, the more I leaned into it—and now I’m trying to figure out how to let it go.

In this episode, I talk about autistic and ADHD masking, the different personas I’ve created throughout my life, and how one of the strongest became my workplace persona.

I look back at how I learned the language of corporate leadership, why that persona worked so well for me, what happened when my work and personal personas collided, and why it can be so hard for me to turn the work version of myself off.

I also talk about growing up and adopting different personas long before I understood masking, my connection to Jim Carrey and The Mask, the difficulty of work social events, burnout, unmasking, and the question I keep coming back to:

Did the same masking that helped me succeed also hold me back?

At the same time, I still need masking. For me, it can be protective. So this isn’t about simply taking the mask off. It’s about trying to figure out the balance between safety, success, and getting closer to my authentic voice.

If you’re autistic, ADHD, or AuDHD and have ever felt like you became a different version of yourself at work, I’d love to know if this feels familiar.

You can also find my AuDHD Workplace Workbook, coaching, speaking, consulting, and more at:

AuDHDBoss.com

There's a certain tension that comes up. A wall. An invisible force field around my body, my brain, my mind, that I can't move past no matter how much I want to.

That's what masking actually feels like for me, not as a concept, but as a physical sensation. In this episode I break down what masking actually is, where it started for me, and what it took to finally start recognizing it happening in real time.

Drawing on Dr. Megan Anna Neff's work in the Autistic Burnout Workbook, I walk through the different forms masking takes, scripting, mimicking, assimilation, camouflage, code-switching, excessive helpfulness, and how each one shows up for me specifically. I get into where this started as a kid, why I built a different persona for every room I walked into, and how switching between those personas has come to feel like regenerating into a new person every time, the way the Doctor does in Doctor Who.

Then I get into the part I most wanted to talk about, what masking actually feels like in my body. The tension. The wall. What I can only describe as shields going up. And why recognizing that sensation, even before I could name it, changed how I handle it.

I also talk through what an actual unmasking plan looks like for me, why I can only fully unmask alone, and why recovery isn't about getting back to who you were before, it's about getting somewhere healthier than that ever was.

Resources mentioned on play and AuDHD Burnout:

What does Play look/feel like for an adult from AtsedeScarseth AuDHD Therapist:https://www.tiktok.com/@atsedescarseth/video/7675894691077950751https://www.tiktok.com/@atsedescarseth/video/7675894019267857695The direct line from masking to AuDHD burnouthttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=loz1viIIB9U

Wondering how to manage you needs at work as a late-diagnosed AuDhd, ADHD or Autistic adult? Check out my Drains and Sparks Workplace Workbook.

A video version of this episode, with chapters, is also up on YouTube if you'd rather watch. I'm starting a series on Substack going deeper into unmasking, link in the show notes if you want to follow along.

I offer workplace talks and coaching for organizations and professionals navigating autism, ADHD, and AuDHD at work, especially for managers and HR teams. Reach out through my website if that's something you need.

A viewer sent in a question that a lot of neurodivergent professionals are sitting with right now. Their boss doesn't believe ADHD is real, and they suspect that boss might be neurodivergent themselves. Dr. Bowen Marshall's answer reframes the whole situation: the resistance isn't about you. It's about them.

You've done the hardest part of unmasking, which is asking for help. And then the person with power over your career looked at you and said no. That moment doesn't just sting. It confirms every reason you had for keeping the mask on in the first place.

Brett and Bowen get into why that happens, what it says about the manager, and what you can actually do about it. They also cover the history of management culture and what it continues to demand from neurodivergent employees, why neurodivergent professionals sometimes become each other's biggest obstacles at work, deliberative processing and the professional cost of not having a quick answer ready in a meeting, recovery versus reconstitution at the end of a workday and why those are not the same thing, and practical scripts and strategies for getting your needs met without disclosing your diagnosis.

Topics covered in this episode:
*Why a neurodivergent boss may be your greatest skeptic
*Internalized neurophobia and what it looks like in leadership
*Masking until burnout and asking for help
*Why neurodivergents sometimes take advantage of other neurodivergents at work
*Recovery versus reconstitution after a workday
*Deliberative processing and the cost of not having a quick answer
*Fawning and people pleasing under a resistant manager
*The history of management culture and compliance
*Authenticity versus consistency at work
*Workplace scripts to buy processing time in meetings
*The test balloon approach to figuring out who is safe to talk to at work
*When to go to HR after a negative disclosure response

Dr. Bowen Marshall, PhD is a licensed psychotherapist, author, and career coach specializing in ADHD, Autism, and neurodivergent career development. As part of his work, he helps neurodivergents navigate the complexity of career demands helping ADHDers, AuDHDers and Autistics find and create systems, workflows, and leadership styles that help them succeed and thrive at work and life.

Check out Bowen's Substack
Subscribe to Bowen's YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@DrBoTyler

Drains and Sparks: An AuDHD Workplace Workbook: https://payhip.com/AuDHDBoss

Book a coaching call or speaking engagement: audhdBoss.com

Processing a layoff is different when you're autistic or have ADHD. Brett Whitmarsh, host of The AuDHD Boss, shares what he learned in the ten months after his own layoff from a twelve-year corporate role, and what actually helped him grieve, rest, and figure out what came next.

In this episode, Brett covers:

• Why a layoff isn't a reflection of your performance, even when it feels personal
• How to let yourself grieve a job loss without rushing past it
• Why taking time before making major decisions matters, especially with a severance package
• How to turn your job history into a list of transferable skills
• Why applying through AI-driven hiring platforms alone often isn't enough, and how to use personal connections instead
• Where to find real support without paying for resources that should be free

Brett also references the exercise from his Drains & Sparks: An AuDHD Workplace Workbook, and shares the personal decision-making mistake he made in the weeks right after his own layoff.

Isabel Fields, ESG Manager at Hearst, helped build the company's first Neurodiversity at Hearst hiring program from the ground up. In six months, Hearst had a fully running program. Years later, it's still growing, and it's shaped how the company trains, hires, and retains Autistic and ADHD talent at every level.

We talk about how the program came together, why executive buy-in came easier than expected, and the distinction Isabel draws between accommodations and adjustments, the small, low-cost changes a manager can make without a formal process. We also get into personal brand for neurodivergent employees and managers, practical ways to manage ADHD and Autistic burnout, and how to work through rejection sensitivity with a manager or trusted colleague.

Isabel Fields is an ESG Manager at Hearst with expertise in sustainability strategy, ESG reporting, and inclusive workplace initiatives. She serves on Understood's Women's Council and is a Women inPower fellow at the 92NY. Prior to Hearst, she was part of Oracle's Social Impact team and has held roles at Nike, the United Nations Foundation, and Iron Mountain.

Mentioned in this episode: my Drains & Sparks AuDHD Workplace Workbook.

If you or your organization want to work on neuroinclusion, train your managers, or explore individual coaching, reach out using the contact info in the show notes.

Self-employed with ADHD or autism? For a lot of people, it's not a lifestyle choice, it's the only option left when a corporate job stops working.

Brett talks with Liora, founder of Colorful Futures, a neurodivergent, queer-run HR and career consulting business. Liora spent years as a recruiter before starting the business, and this conversation gets into what actually triggers the leap into self-employment, how a late ADHD or autism diagnosis can be part of that decision, and what that choice looks like once you get past the LinkedIn version of it: the guilt, the uneven pace, and the fact that the whole business model doesn't have to be figured out before starting.

Liora and their colleague Caitlin Fisher are hosting the Entrepreneurial Horizon Workshop on Thursday, July 16 at 6:30 PM Eastern. It's a 90-minute session for anyone with an idea they haven't figured out how to build yet. $18 to attend, replay included.

Register here: https://colorfulfutures.thrivecart.com/entrepreneurial-horizon/

More on Colorful Futures: https://colorfulfutures.us/about

This conversation is also available as a video on the AuDHD Boss YouTube channel.

Interested in working together? Brett offers coaching for neurodivergent professionals and consulting for organizations working to become more neuro-inclusive, including speaking to employee resource groups. Reach out: Brett@AuDHDboss.com or at AuDHDboss.com

Have you ever gotten the feedback that you're unlikeable at work? For a lot of neurodivergent professionals, that label arrives while you're already burning significant cognitive energy just to show up and function.

In this episode, Dr. Bowen Marshall and Brett dig into why masking reads as coldness, where the term masking actually comes from historically, and what warm cues are and how they work in practice at work.

The conversation covers the frontal lobe vs. temporal parietal junction difference in how autistic and non-autistic brains process social interaction, what happens when masking and a novel cognitive task compete for the same processor, and the 20/60/20 framework for understanding workplace perception. Brett shares the good morning story, a real workplace example that shows how a single missed warm cue can shape how a colleague is perceived for years.

But the episode goes further than workplace tactics. Bowen recently published "Yes, Even Masking Is Caused by Racism" on Substack, and that work runs through a significant part of this conversation, from the eugenics movement and the history of ABA therapy to professional dress codes as compliance culture. Brett and Bowen also talk openly about the overlap between queer identity and neurodivergence and why for many people those two things have never been separate.

Topics covered in this episode:
Why the mask drops when cognitive load increases
The frontal lobe vs. temporal parietal junction difference in social processing
Spiky cognitive profiles and building teams around them
The warmth and competence framework and the 20/60/20 breakdown
Micro moments of liking and primacy and recency effects at work
The history of ABA therapy and its connection to white supremacy culture
Queer masking as survival and the overlap between queer and neurodivergent identity
Why masking past a certain point disconnects you from your own power

Dr. Bowen Marshall, PhD is a licensed psychotherapist, author, and career coach specializing in ADHD, Autism, and neurodivergent career development. As part of his work, he helps neurodivergents navigate the complexity of career demands helping ADHDers, AuDHDers and Autistics find and create systems, workflows, and leadership styles that help them succeed and thrive at work and life.

Read Bowen's article: Yes, Even Masking Is Caused by Racism

Follow Dr. Bowen Marshall:

Find all Brett and Bowen's conversations on the AuDHD Boss YouTube playlist:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-9QX1pbJKEk&list=PLRBohTCbOqwA

I was more nervous to tell people at work I was autistic than I was coming out bisexual. That's not a punchline. It tells you something about how similar these two journeys actually are.

In this episode Brett shares how coming out as bisexual in his 30s and getting a late AuDHD diagnosis a few years later followed the same emotional architecture — recontextualizing your entire life, grieving the person you thought you were, and slowly learning to stop masking.

What made both take so long? Alexithymia and delayed processing made it hard to understand his own feelings. Growing up in a high control religion made those feelings feel dangerous. And high masking kept both identities hidden — even from himself.

If you came out late, got diagnosed late, or both I'd love to hear your story.

Topics covered: neuroqueer identity, high masking, Alexithymia, coming out in your 30s, late AuDHD diagnosis, workplace safety, the grief of late discovery, and why unmasking and coming out feel like the same thing.

Find Brett's Drains & Sparks workbook and coaching at payhip.com/audhdboss.

In this episode:

• Why high masking kept Brett in the closet — and later kept his AuDHD diagnosis hidden too
• How Alexithymia and delayed processing made it hard to understand his own feelings
• Why workplace safety was the trigger that finally let him unmask
• The grief that comes with both late coming out and late diagnosis — and where they differ
• Why "people who aren't don't spend all that time wondering if they are" applies to both sexuality and neurotype

Resources mentioned:

• Drains & Sparks Workbook: payhip.com/audhdboss

"Don't be too good at your job." That line from Dr. Bowen Marshall hit nearly a million views on Instagram. So we came back to respond to your comments.

For neurodivergent professionals, overperforming isn't just exhausting. It sets a trap — a higher bar every annual review, burnout that builds without a clear cause, and a workplace that stops taking your limitations seriously because you look too capable to need support.

In this episode Brett and Dr. Bowen Marshall go through the comments from that viral moment and get into what's actually driving it.

They cover the PIE model and why 70% of your career has nothing to do with your actual work. The difference between a mentor and a sponsor — and why neurodivergent professionals almost always get one but not the other. Why over-performing makes raises harder, not easier. What to do when your boss says nothing is coming off your plate. And the disability catch-22: when you're too competent, your limitations stop being believed.

About Dr. Bowen Tyler Marshall:

Dr. Bowen Marshall, PhD a licensed psychotherapist, author, and career coach specializing in ADHD, Autism, and neurodivergent career development.

As part of his work, he helps neurodivergents navigate the complexity of career demands helping ADHDers, AuDHders and Autistics find and create systems, workflows, and leadership styles that help them succeed and thrive at work and life.

Connect with Bowen here:

Substack: https://drbotyler.substack.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drbotyler/?hl=enTiktok: https://tiktok.com/@DrbotylerYouTube: https://youtube.com/@www.youtube.com/ ⁨@DrBoTyler⁩ 

About Brett | AuDHD BossI'm Brett — AuDHD, late diagnosed, and a former corporate leader with 12 years of leadership training and experience. I offer 1:1 coaching and neuro-inclusive workplace training for individuals and organizations.******************************RESOURCES & LINKS🛒 Drains & Sparks — AuDHD Workplace Workbook for Neurodivergent ProfessionalsBundle (workbook + 45-min coaching video) → https://payhip.com/audhdbossWorkbook only → https://payhip.com/audhdbossWORK WITH BRETT1:1 coaching for autistic, ADHD, and AuDHD professionals navigating corporate environmentsCorporate training, manager workshops, and organizational licensing for neuro-inclusive teams👉 audhdboss.com | Brett@audhdboss.com

A new national survey from NEXT for AUTISM puts hard data on what autistic and AuDHD employees have been describing for years — and the findings challenge most of what workplaces assume about disclosure, accommodations, and what actually drives retention.

I sat down with Candi Weaver-Dowds, Senior Manager of Strategic Initiatives at NEXT for AUTISM and the lead on this research, and Abigayle Jayroe, SVP of Strategic Operations, to walk through the data and what employers need to do differently.

We cover:

• Why 79% of autistic employees describe masking and emotional exhaustion as a workplace challenge — and what that costs

• The 73% disclosure rate, and why most went to their direct manager rather than HR

• Why nearly 7 in 10 autistic employees are building their own support systems outside of work

• What the data shows about autistic women carrying a disproportionate burden

• Why AuDHD employees — 40% of the sample — may be the largest and most strained subgroup in the autistic workforce

About the report Inside the Autistic Workforce: A National Survey of Autistic Employees on Their Workplace Experience — and What Employers Need to Know. 

Completed in 2026, this mixed-methods study was developed and led by NEXT for AUTISM, in partnership with Sago, a global research firm, and funded by the Anita Bhatia Foundation for Tomorrow. Read the full report: https://nextforautism.org/inside-the-autistic-workplace/

Chapters 

00:00 What the data finally proves

02:12 The strengths-based research approach

03:00 High job satisfaction, hidden cost

04:22 Masking is a second job running in the background 06:06 Why the manager relationship matters most

07:29 What 73% disclosure really means

10:09 The accommodations gap 11:34 Building support outside of work

12:46 The disproportionate burden on autistic women

14:13 Late diagnosis and the workplace

15:21 AuDHD: two operating systems competing

17:47 What workplaces need to do differently

20:27 The neurodivergent manager effect

20:47 Autistic feedback as operational intelligence

23:37 The report, the grants program, and how to take action

About AuDHD Boss 

I'm Brett Whitmarsh — late-diagnosed AuDHD, former corporate people manager, and host of AuDHD Boss. This show is about what work actually looks like for neurodivergent professionals, and what managers, HR teams, and leaders need to understand to stop losing this talent.

Free Accommodations Prep Guide: https://payhip.com/b/j0rvk 

Work with me or book a corporate training: https://audhdboss.com

Most workplace advice was built for neurotypical brains. Dr. Ludmila Praslova's The Canary Code was built for the rest of us.

Brett sits down with Dr. Praslova — organizational psychologist, Vanguard University professor, 2025 Thinkers50 Talent Award winner, and the first person to publish in Harvard Business Review from an autistic perspective. Her book reframes the coal-mine metaphor through what we now understand about neurodivergent brains. The canary isn't the victim of the story. The canary is the employee whose biology lets them sense problems first. Neurodivergent people — those of us with autism, ADHD, AuDHD, dyslexia, Tourette's, and other ways of processing the world — are playing that role in modern workplaces. We notice broken workflows, toxic culture, and ethical drift before anyone else does. Most organizations treat the signal as the problem.

This conversation covers what to do instead — the six principles of The Canary Code, the Platinum Rule, the derailers that quietly kill neurodiversity work, and how to navigate a workplace that isn't ready to change yet.

Get the book: https://bookshop.org/a/108800/9798890571601

Connect with Dr. Praslova: thecanarycode.com

Chapters

(00:00) Introduction 

(02:38) The Real History of Canaries in Coal Mines 

(04:24) Why Neurodivergent Brains Sense Toxicity First 

(05:19) "Sensitive Does Not Mean Broken" 

(06:37) The Six Principles of The Canary Code 

(09:53) The Platinum Rule and Holistic Belonging 

(13:19) Why Common Sense Isn't Common Practice 

(16:48) Derailers That Kill Neurodiversity Work 

(19:00) Navigating Managers Without Burning Out 

(25:09) Why We Need More Neurodivergent Leaders 

(25:56) Where to Find The Canary Code

If you're an HR or L&D leader interested in bringing this work into your organization, I offer corporate training and consulting. Email brett@audhdboss.com.

Getting a diagnosis as an adult can feel like an answer. Then you're sitting with that information, years into a career, with no real roadmap for what comes next. You don't know what you need. You don't know how to ask for it. And you're not sure whether telling your employer is going to help you or hurt you.

Brett continues his conversation with Dr. Bowen Marshall, PhD — licensed psychotherapist, author, and career coach specializing in ADHD, Autism, and neurodivergent career development. Dr. Marshall works with ADHDers, AuDHDers, and Autistics to help them build the systems, workflows, and strategies that let them thrive at work and in life.

This episode gets into what late diagnosis actually looks like from a therapeutic perspective — why so many late-diagnosed adults don't yet know what they need even after getting a diagnosis, and how burnout accumulates when you've spent years running your nervous system without the right supports in place.

They also cover the disclosure decision directly. Not a simple yes or no, but a real framework for thinking through who benefits, what the risks are, and how to read your specific workplace before making a call that has actual career consequences.

Dr. Marshall closes with something worth sitting with: rejection is protection.

This is Part 2 of a two-part conversation. Part 1 covers the AuDHD leadership trap, unspoken corporate rules, and the real difference between masking and code switching. Linked below.

Connect with Dr. Bowen Marshall: 

Substack: https://substack.com/@bowentylermarshallTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@drbotyler https://www.YouTube.com/ @DrBoTyler Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/Drbotyler

Making friends as a neurodivergent adult is harder than anyone tells you — and there are real, brain-based reasons why. This isn't a willpower problem or a personality flaw. It's a wiring difference that nobody ever explained to most of us.

Caroline Maguire is a social-emotional learning expert, TEDx speaker, and neurodivergent person herself — ADHD, dyslexia, and learning disabilities. Her new book, Friendship Skills for Neurodivergent Adults, is the practical, science-backed guide most of us needed years ago.

This is Part 1 of our conversation — the personal side. We get into why friendship feels so unintuitive for ND brains, the mindsets that quietly sabotage your connections before you realize it, what flooding and anxious overcorrection actually look like in practice, and how to stop masking your way into rooms that will never be right for you.

Part 2 — workplace friendships, trust, and navigating ND social dynamics on the job — drops next week.

What we cover:

• Why the "friendship should be easy" myth hits differently when you're late-diagnosed
• How your past experiences are secretly running your social life right now
• Finding what actually fills your connection cup — and stopping what doesn't
• Masking vs. authentic connection, and why masking costs you the friendships you want
• Flooding, triggers, and the "writing a story" spiral after a social event
• Anxious overcorrection — why we send 45 texts explaining the thing
• People pleasing, rushing in, and the fortress mindset

📖 Get Caroline's book: https://bookshop.org/a/108800/9781538773086z

Getting promoted because you're good at your job is the easy part. Most AuDHD professionals find out quickly that the role they were promoted into requires skills nobody taught them and nobody mentioned were part of the deal.

Brett sits down with Dr. Bowen Marshall, PhD, a licensed psychotherapist, author, and career coach specializing in ADHD, Autism, and neurodivergent career development. Dr. Marshall works with ADHDers, AuDHDers, and Autistics to help them build systems, workflows, and leadership approaches that work for their brains at work and in life.

The conversation starts where a lot of AuDHD careers start to get complicated: outperforming everyone around you, getting promoted because of it, and then discovering that managing people is a completely different job than doing the work. Dr. Marshall introduces a Harvard Business Review leadership framework that describes this pattern specifically. From there they get into the unwritten rules most corporate environments run on, how warmth and competence function as the two factors that shape how you're perceived at work, and what happens when you're four steps ahead of the room and keep getting dismissed for it.

The conversation closes on a distinction worth understanding clearly: the difference between masking and code switching. Most people treat these as the same thing. They aren't, and the difference matters when you're trying to figure out where your energy is actually going.

This is Part 1 of a two-part conversation. Part 2 covers late diagnosis, burnout, and the decision of whether to disclose your diagnosis at work.

Connect with Dr. Bowen Marshall: 

Substack: https://substack.com/@bowentylermarshallTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@drbotyler YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DrBoTylerInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/Drbotyler

Timestamps: 

00:00 Introduction

02:33 Technical skill vs. leadership skill

03:55 The Pacesetter Leadership Style

06:35 From expert to teacher

07:48 "Don't be too good at your job"

09:00 Unspoken corporate rules

11:59 Warmth and competence

12:42 The Cassandra Effect

15:03 Calibrating what you share at work

16:13 Masking vs. code switching

19:36 Companies and neurodivergent brains

20:56 Burnout and entrepreneurship

ABOUT AUDHD BOSS:AuDHD Boss is Brett Whitmarsh's channel covering ADHD and Autism in the workplace. Brett has over 12 years of leadership experience and a formal diagnosis of ADHD and Autism.Substack: https://substack.com/@brettwhitmarshWebsite: https://audhdboss.com

Most neurodivergent employees don't know what accommodations they can ask for — and without that, the process stalls before it starts.

In this episode, I walk through the 10 most commonly requested AuDHD workplace accommodations according to Job Accommodation Network data, with the exact functional limitation language and scripting you can adapt for your own request. Each accommodation includes the framing the JAN recommends, plus real-world context from someone who spent over 12 years in corporate leadership — including as a VP — before their own late ADHD and autism diagnosis.

We cover quiet workspaces, noise-canceling headphones, remote work, written follow-up after verbal instructions, flexible scheduling, structured check-ins, structured breaks, advance notice of changes, assistive technology, and neurodiversity coaching through an EAP. For every one, you'll hear why it works and exactly how to say it.

Free resource: The AuDHD Accommodations Prep Guide — Know What to Ask For and How to Say It is linked below. payhip.com/b/j0rvk

If you're neurodivergent and considering a workplace accommodation request, disclosure is probably the thing stopping you. Do you have to tell HR you're autistic or have ADHD? Who else finds out?

The answer is more nuanced than most people explain — and in this episode, I'm giving you the version that holds up, including the part most content on this topic gets wrong.

We cover the informal path (manager only, no HR, no paperwork) versus what actually happens once the formal process starts. What the ADA protects — and what it doesn't. And the practical call on who to approach first, with real context from someone who has been on the management side of this conversation.

Free resource: Download The AuDHD Accommodations Prep Guide — Know What to Ask For and How to Say It at http://payhip.com/b/j0rvk

Topics: ADHD at work, autism at work, AuDHD, workplace accommodations, ADA accommodations, disability disclosure, how to request accommodations, neurodivergent employees, HR and disability, accommodation request process

In this episode, I’m talking about emotional flooding at work and what it feels like for me as someone with ADHD and autism. I share how misunderstanding, conflict, masking, and nervous system overload can affect my processing, my body, and the rest of my day. I also talk about what helps me move through it and why context and thoughtful communication matter so much at work.

Chapter:

00:00 What emotional flooding is for me

01:46 What happens in my body

03:32 Masking while overwhelmed

05:08 Why I need verbal processing

06:46 Spiraling and trying not to react

08:10 The crash afterward

08:58 When more context changes everything

10:43 Why this matters at work

Resources mentioned:

• Substack: [link]

• Coaching: [link]

• Workbook: [link]

• Caroline Maguire: [link]

• Bridget’s post: [link]

Purity culture. High control religion. Autistic masking. In this episode, Brett (The AuDHD Boss) gets vulnerable about growing up in a fundamentalist evangelical environment—and how rigid rules and shame can stay in your body long after you’ve “left.”

Brett is late-diagnosed Autistic + ADHD, and in this conversation with author and educator Erica Smith, they explore why purity culture can feel especially “sticky” when you’re used to rule-following, people-pleasing, and masking for safety. Erica is the author of The Purity Culture Recovery Guide: The Shame-Free Sex Education You Deserve and founder of the Purity Culture Dropout Program—inclusive, trauma-informed education many of us never received.

In this episode we talk about:

• What purity culture is (and how it became a movement)

• How shame and fear shape relationships and identity

• Why rigid rules can feel “safe”—and how to replace them with your values

• What “deconstruction” means and how it can support healing

• “Is it too late?” (No. Ever.)

• Late coming-out, “second adolescence,” and reclaiming your timeline

• How to talk to partners about your background without apologizing for it

Links & resources:
Erica Smith’s book (affiliate): https://bookshop.org/a/108800/9798881801304
Purity Culture Dropout Program: https://www.ericasmitheac.com/the-purity-culture-dropout-program
More from AuDHD Boss: AuDHDboss.com

(For education and lived experience—not medical advice.)

00:00 Purity culture, high control religion & autistic masking
00:56 Leaving the church, carrying shame + rigid rules
01:47 Meet Erica Smith + The Purity Culture Recovery Guide
02:47 What purity culture is (broad + specific)
04:15 Why it took hold in the 90s (True Love Waits)
05:46 Reading recovery work when it feels activating
07:42 Skip to the chapters you need (how Erica designed the book)
10:10 Myths and misinformation purity culture taught
12:59 Long-term impacts: fear, paralysis, pain, disconnection
14:53 Autistic masking + rigid rule-following overlap
16:04 Replacing rules with your values
18:02 What “deconstruction” means
18:47 “Is it too late?”
21:27 Late coming-out + “second adolescence”
24:49 Why “waiting for marriage” still has a hold
28:02 Talking to partners without apologizing
30:18 Final thoughts + where to find Erica

What was that moment you thought, “Oh… I think I have ADHD”?

In this episode, I’m joined by Cate Osborn (Catieosaurus) and Erik Gude (Hey Gude)—the authors of The ADHD Field Guide for Adults—for a practical, honest conversation about what it actually looks like to live with ADHD as an adult.

We talk about why so much “helpful” advice doesn’t work for ADHD brains, how to build systems you can restart without shame, and what support can look like when you’re late-diagnosed (including when ADHD overlaps with autism/AuDHD).

And yes—we also go into the adult stuff: relationships, intimacy, sex, communication, and the parts of ADHD life people don’t always say out loud.

In this episode, we cover:

• How Cate and Erik approached writing a book as two people with ADHD

• Executive dysfunction, motivation, and why “simple” solutions often fail

• ADHD-friendly systems, accommodations, and sustainable routines

• ADHD and relationships: intimacy, communication, and repair

• Self-compassion and personal responsibility—holding both at once

 The ADHD Field Guide for Adults

If you enjoyed this episode, please follow/subscribe and leave a review—it helps more neurodivergent adults find the show.

Self-esteem has been a complicated one for me as an AuDHD adult (autism + ADHD). I can be confident and capable in certain areas—and then hit a wall in others and immediately start wondering, “What is wrong with me? Why can’t I do the thing?”

In this episode, I’m sharing what I’ve learned about how AuDHD can impact self-esteem for me—especially on the other side of diagnosis—along with what I try when I feel a spiral coming on. I talk about internalized ableism and masking, imposter syndrome at work, what it looks like when my body knows I’m overwhelmed before I do (alexithymia), and how I anchor back to what I know is true.

This isn’t a “you should” episode. It’s me being honest about what it feels like in my brain—and what I’m experimenting with to build self-trust.

Resources mentioned

• Neurodivergent Insights glossary (alexithymia): https://neurodivergentinsights.com/neurodivergent-insights-glossary/

• Self-Care Activities for Autistic People card deck (Dr. Megan Anna Neff): https://bookshop.org/a/108800/9781507225066

Show notes bullets (for apps that surface these):

• AuDHD and why it can feel “not quite ADHD, not quite autism”

• Strengths vs. struggles and the imposter syndrome gap

• “A different way in” — reframing walls without self-blame

• Support without shame (reducing steps, ordering takeout when needed)

• Alexithymia + body cues + spiraling thoughts

• Anchoring to what I know is true + a 20–22 minute reset

• Practicing pride: “take the win”

For the first time in my life, I’m starting a job as my full AuDHD self—fully diagnosed, fully open, and not trying to pretend I’m neurotypical. And it made me ask a question I think every AuDHD person deserves to ask:

What kind of employee do you want to be when masking isn’t the price of admission?

In this episode, I reflect on masking in new roles, what changed after my late autism + ADHD diagnosis, and how I’m learning to build a job around my needs instead of retrofitting myself into “corporate rules.”

We talk about AuDHD needs at work (novelty, collaboration, structure, recovery), the push/pull of ADHD chaos and autism routines, meetings I miss vs meetings I don’t—and the grief of losing built-in workplace community.

Question for you: What’s one accommodation, routine, or boundary that helps you thrive at work?

Substack: https://brettwhitmarsh.substack.com/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@AuDHDBoss
Website: AuDHDBoss.com

Ever googled “best jobs for ADHD” or “best jobs for autism” — especially after a late diagnosis — and hoped someone would finally hand you the answer?

In this episode, I’m going to give you the real answer: there isn’t one perfect job title for AuDHD (ADHD + autism). What actually matters is job fit — the match between your interests, your work environment needs, and the communication style you’ll have with your manager and team.

You’ll learn:

• How to use “the spark” of a special interest to find realistic career entry points

• What environment factors to consider so you can thrive (not just survive)

• Why manager communication and check-ins can make or break a role

• Interview questions that help you spot green flags and red flags

• How to answer: “What do you need to be successful in this role?” without disclosing

Links

• Website: https://audhdboss.com

• Subscribe on YouTube: https://youtu.be/R_Lx6TFvZ2A

Question for you: Which part of job fit is hardest right now—interests, environment, or manager communication?

Finding a neurodivergent-affirming provider shouldn’t feel impossible — but for many autistic and ADHD adults, the healthcare system can be invalidating, confusing, or even overwhelming. In this episode, I’m sharing five questions that will help you determine whether a doctor, therapist, or assessor is truly affirming, respectful, and informed.

In this episode you’ll learn:

• What “neurodivergent-affirming care” actually means

• How to screen a provider during an intake call

• Green flags and red flags to listen for

• How to avoid being pathologized or dismissed

• Why these questions reveal so much about a provider’s mindset

You deserve care that sees you, respects you, and works with your neurotype — not against it.

Follow me on Substack, YouTube, and everywhere @AuDHDBoss for more support and strategies for autistic and ADHD adults.

Annual review season can feel overwhelming — especially if you’re ADHD, autistic, or otherwise neurodivergent. Memory gaps, freeze responses, stalled processing, panic, and the pressure to recall a whole year of work can make self-evaluations feel impossible.

In this episode, I walk you through a neurodivergent-friendly, step-by-step process for writing your annual self-review — even if you didn’t track anything all year. This is the exact method I used during my 12+ years in leadership, and it’s the same process I taught my teams to help reduce overwhelm, increase clarity, and build confidence during annual review season.

ou’ll learn how to do a brain dump that supports ND memory, how to use your calendar and colleagues to fill gaps, how to align your accomplishments with company OKRs and KPIs, and how to advocate for a raise, promotion, or new responsibilities using real evidence — all without masking or losing your authentic voice.

Whether you’re aiming for growth, stability, or simply want to get through this process without melting down, this episode will help you approach your review with clarity and self-trust.

• Why annual reviews trigger freeze mode for ND brains

• How to start your self-review (even from zero)

• Using your calendar to rebuild the year

• Getting memory support from trusted colleagues

• How to align your accomplishments to goals you forgot you set

• How OKRs and KPIs actually matter in your review

• Using AI tools without losing your authentic voice

• How to make the case for raises, promotions, or new titles

• What managers look for and how to prepare effectively

• How to set realistic expectations to avoid RSD spirals

• Why ongoing alignment with your manager is the secret to long-term growth

 https://www.audhdboss.com or https://substack.com/home/post/p-180356961

Career coach Alex Lahmeyer joins Brett Whitmarsh (The AuDHD Boss) to talk about finding a workplace where you can truly belong as a queer and neurodivergent professional — from navigating interviews to building inclusive Employee Resource Groups and sustaining psychological safety at work.

In this episode of The AuDHD Boss, Brett sits down with career coach and talent consultant Alex Lahmeyer (they/them) to explore how LGBTQ+ and neurodivergent professionals can find workplaces that honor who they are — not just what they do.

You’ll learn:

• How to spot psychological safety during an interview

• Smart questions to ask about inclusion and company culture

• How to start and sustain Employee Resource Groups (ERGs)

• Why networking is really about community-building for neurodivergent brains

🔗 Connect with Alex: https://linktr.ee/boundlessarc
🔗 Follow Brett ( @AuDHDBoss ): audhdboss.com

🎧 Subscribe for more episodes on neurodiversity, leadership, and belonging in the corporate workplace.

After being laid off, I learned that you can’t skip the grieving process — especially when your work was tied to your identity.

In this episode, I share what it’s been like to process grief, burnout, and identity loss as an autistic and ADHD (AuDHD) leader after job loss. From losing community and structure to rediscovering creativity and unmasking, this is an honest look at what recovery really feels like.

🔹 Why layoffs hit differently for neurodivergent professionals
🔹 How burnout recovery overlaps with grief and self-worth
🔹 What happens when leadership identity disappears overnight
🔹 Finding rest, creativity, and new purpose after burnout

🎧 This episode pairs with a YouTube video and a written reflection on Substack — complete with a bonus “beach story” that didn’t go as planned!

➕ Watch on YouTube: https://youtube.com/@audhdboss
📝 Read the companion essay + bonus video: https://brettwhitmarsh.substack.com

I recently lost my job leaving me staring at a blank resume wondering “where do I even start?” — especially with an ADHD brain.

So I turned to career coach Liora Natania, founder of Colorful Futures, a neurodivergent queer-run HR and career consulting business. They bring a more holistic approach this job search process.

Liora has a background in recruitment and their company is dedicated to helping neurodivergent and queer professionals navigate job searching, career growth, and self-employment—without burnout, masking, or corporate BS. Specifically, Liora specializes in resume and LinkedIn optimization, interview prep, and job search strategy.

And that’s where we focus our conversation today. We talk about how to manage panic applying that chases dopamine, executive function walls we hit, and how to navigate AI with our resumes. I got so much out of this conversation with Liora and I am so excited to share it with you.

We explore:
✅ Why ADHD brains jump into urgency and panic applications
✅ Career discovery as the first step — not job boards
✅ Whether AI actually screens out resumes (and how to write for both AI and humans)
✅ Simple, ADHD-friendly resume strategies
✅ Networking without forcing small talk
✅ Building a job search routine that doesn’t destroy your nervous system

If you're navigating ADHD, burnout, job loss, or career confusion, this episode will help you restart with intention, clarity, and self-trust.

🎙️ Guest: Liora Natania, Career Coach | Colorful Futures
📍 Follow Liora: @colorfulfutures

👋 I’m Brett, The AuDHD Boss — helping neurodivergent professionals thrive at work without masking or burning out.
🔗 Coaching & newsletter: https://substack.com/@brettwhitmarsh

When an employee shares that they have ADHD or autism, how should a manager respond? What words build trust, and what words damage it?

In this episode, Brett — The AuDHD Boss — shares a manager’s guide to responding with empathy, professionalism, and support when someone discloses ADHD or autism at work. Drawing on 12+ years of leadership experience as an autistic manager with ADHD, Brett breaks down:

• ✅ What to say (and what NOT to say) when employees disclose ADHD or autism

• ✅ Why every ADHD and autistic experience is unique — and why curiosity matters

• ✅ Common mistakes managers make that harm trust and productivity

• ✅ How simple accommodations can improve performance for everyone

This episode is both a guide for managers and a resource for employees who want to share this with their bosses or HR teams. If you’re working toward a more inclusive workplace, this conversation will help.

🌐 More from Brett:

• Website → audhdboss.com

• Substack → brettwhitmarsh.substack.com

• YouTube → YouTube.com/@audhdboss

Stepping into management as an autistic professional with ADHD brought a unique mix of strengths—and a lot of anxiety. In this episode, I share my personal story of transitioning from individual contributor to manager, and how I faced professional anxiety, imposter syndrome, and the fear of letting others down.

We’ll explore:

• Why new managers often feel overwhelmed by expectations

• The push-and-pull between micromanaging and letting go

• How mentorship helped me move past defensiveness and imposter syndrome

• Practical tools I use to reduce professional anxiety as an autistic leader with ADHD

If you’ve ever felt like you weren’t “good enough” to lead, or you’re navigating management while neurodivergent, this conversation is for you.

👉 Subscribe for more real stories and strategies on leadership, ADHD, and autism in the workplace.

Links:

• Newsletter + blog: brettwhitmarsh.substack.com

• Coaching + resources: audhdboss.com

• Watch on YouTube: Audio Boss

  
  

  
  

  • ADHD in the workplace

  • Autism in the workplace

  • Autistic boss

  • ADHD leadership

  • Autistic leadership

  • Imposter syndrome at work

  • Professional anxiety

  • New manager anxiety

  • Neurodivergent manager

  • ADHD career growth

  • Autism career growth

  • AuDHD boss

  • Corporate leadership strategies

  • Mentorship and management

  • Overcoming workplace anxiety

  • Neurodiversity at work

  • Leadership for ADHD professionals

  • Leadership for autistic professionals

In this episode, I share my journey of coming out as queer and how it unexpectedly became the beginning of unmasking my autistic and ADHD identity. From growing up in a high-control religious environment to finding safety in the workplace, I talk about the challenges of masking, the fear of showing my true self, and the deep relief of self-acceptance.

You’ll hear how coming out helped me step into authenticity, what it taught me about masking and energy, and why creating safe spaces at work matters for neurodivergent professionals.

If you’ve ever struggled with masking, people-pleasing, or hiding parts of yourself, this conversation is for you.

👉 Don’t forget to subscribe to The AuDHD Boss for more episodes on ADHD, autism, and thriving as a neurodivergent professional.

📚 Resources mentioned in this video:Dr Neff's The Autistic Masking Workbook (from Neurodivergent Insights.com) *****USE CODE AUDHDBOSS***** FOR A DISCOUNT ON THE WORKBOOK more here: https://neurodivergentinsights.com/autistic-masking/autistic-masking/Autistic Burnout Workbook by Dr. Megan Anna Neff: https://bookshop.org/a/108800/9781507223062Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents:https://bookshop.org/a/108800/9781626251700Deconstruction and Coming Out Resources from Erica Smith, M. Ed:https://www.ericasmitheac.com/webinars-booksEmbrace Autism – https://embrace-autism.com/audhd-and-camouflaging/👉 Check out my full Autism Masking Playlist here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLvgCuULIHenWGoJhC5GCubniGTuAt6TkT

In this episode, I explore autistic masking — what it is, why it happens, and how it impacts identity, mental health, and burnout. Drawing from Dr. Megan Anna Neff’s Autistic Burnout Workbook and research from Embrace Autism, I share definitions, examples, and personal insights from my own experience as a high masker. We talk about the conscious and unconscious ways autistic people adapt to fit in, the connection to ADHD camouflaging, and why masking can be both protective and exhausting.
Whether you’re autistic, ADHD, or supporting someone who masks, this conversation offers a deeper understanding and practical takeaways.

Be sure to use my code AUDHDBOSS for a discount on Dr. Neff's AutisticMasking Workbook : https://neurodivergentinsights.com/autistic-masking/autistic-masking/

What’s really happening when an autistic person has a meltdown or shutdown at work? In today's episode I am reviewing the differences between autistic meltdowns and shutdowns. In doing so, I am reading from Embrace Autism's blog on what meltdowns and shutdowns along with my experiences of these descriptions.

For more information on this topic read more from Embrace Autism's website here.

Please note this episode is audio-only this week.

I read from a newly updated Embrace Autism article that explains the BIMS profile: Burnout, Inertia, Meltdowns, and Shutdowns. Then, I share personal stories of how masking, miscommunication, executive dysfunction, and sensory overwhelm have triggered these experiences for me in real-time — sometimes in high-stakes workplace situations.

If you’ve ever struggled with emotional overload, gone completely silent in meetings, or felt deep shame after "losing it" at work — this episode is for you. You’ll also learn research-backed strategies for recognizing early signs, completing the stress cycle, and supporting recovery.

Topics in this episode include:

• Meltdowns vs shutdowns: what’s the difference?

• What overload looks like in the workplace

• How ADHD and masking contribute to dysregulation

• Shame and recovery after a shutdown or meltdown

• Tools to recognize early signs and self-regulate

🎧 Listen now and subscribe for more episodes on neurodiversity at work, unmasking, burnout, and thriving as a professional with ADHD and autism.

🧠 Coaching + resources: https://audhdboss.com
📬 Subscribe to the newsletter: https://brettwhitmarsh.substack.com

#AutisticBurnout #ADHDAndAutism #MeltdownVsShutdown #NeurodivergentAtWork #AuDHD #Masking #ExecutiveDysfunction #WorkplaceAccommodations

In this episode, I get real about the biggest mistakes I’ve made as a leader—and how being diagnosed with autism and ADHD gave me a new lens on all of them.

From reacting too quickly to letting my ADHD hijack team priorities, I share hard-earned lessons that every manager—especially those who are neurodivergent—needs to hear. If you’re in a leadership role and navigating your own neurodivergent traits, this one’s for you.

🎥 Watch the full video version on YouTube
📩 Sign up for my newsletter: https://brettwhitmarsh.substack.com
🌐 More tips at https://audhdboss.com

What happens when you unmask autism and ADHD—on a comedy stage—during Pride?
In this solo episode, I share the chaotic, hilarious, emotional journey of performing my first stand-up set as an autistic, ADHD queer adult.

From scripting punchlines and channeling sitcoms to mic stand disasters and post-performance crashes, this is more than a comedy story—it’s a story about identity, burnout, recovery, and pride.

🎧 In this episode:

• How I used stand-up comedy to process masking and queer identity

• Why emotional burnout hits hard after unmasking

• My ADHD script prep hacks and crash recovery tools

• What I learned about my AuDHD brain by stepping into the spotlight

🎤 And yes... the mic stand really did fall apart.

Unmasking Autism, Comedy and ADHD, Autistic Performer, Neurodivergent Pride, Masking & Burnout, Stand-Up with AuDHD, Emotional Overload, Queer and Autistic, ADHD Recovery, Religious Trauma

Is it worth getting an ADHD or autism diagnosis later in life? I’m Brett, The AuDHD Boss—an autistic manager with ADHD—and in this episode, I’m answering one of the most common questions I get from late-diagnosed professionals: “Should I get a formal diagnosis?”

In this episode, I share:

• The personal questions I asked before getting diagnosed

• How diagnosis helped me at work (and when I didn’t actually need it)

• Why self-diagnosis is still valid and valuable

• The pros and cons of disclosing at work

• What you need to consider before taking the next step

Whether you're wondering about accommodations, clarity, or just curious what others have experienced—this episode will help you explore the decision from a strength-based, real-world perspective.

📬 Join my newsletter for more workplace tools: https://brettwhitmarsh.substack.com
🌐 Learn more at: https://audhdboss.com

#ADHDDiagnosis #AutismDiagnosis #LateDiagnosis #AuDHD #NeurodivergentWorkplace

I’m an autistic leader with ADHD, and I’ve spent over a decade working in a leadership position in corporate workplace. And for most of that time, I’ve masked—hard.

What does masking at work actually look like for an autistic manager with ADHD? And what does it cost us to stay “professional” every day?

In this episode, I’m reflecting on masking in the corporate workplace—from learning to read the room to choosing when to speak, how to show up, and how to recover when masking becomes too much.

As a leader with autism and ADHD, I talk why I still mad in the workplace, the toll masking takes on my identity and energy, and how I’m learning to unmask in a way that protects both my mental health and my leadership effectiveness.

Whether you’re neurodivergent yourself or managing someone who is, this episode is for anyone who wants to better understand what masking is—and how to make room for authenticity in professional spaces.

n this episode, I explore the meaning of neuroqueering through my own lived experience as a queer, autistic, ADHD adult. Joined by Dr. Megan Anna Neff (Neurodivergent Insights), we dive into:

• The definition and origins of the term "neuroqueer"

• How masking and identity suppression lead to burnout

• The grief of coming out and discovering you're neurodivergent later in life

• What it means to heal your inner child

• Why unmasking is a slow, emotional, and communal journey

We also discuss how safety, community, and self-permission are key to stepping into your authentic identity—and how queer and neurodivergent joy often go hand-in-hand.

🎧 Tune in to hear how unmasking shaped my path, why I believe identity work must happen in community, and what neuroqueering means to me today.

🔗 Related Links:

Full interview with Dr. Megan Anna Neff: https://youtu.be/Df4V9-vvino

My Substack & Office Hours: https://brettwhitmarsh.substack.com

Nick Walker's original neuroqueer writing: https://neuroqueer.com/neuroqueer-an-introduction/

**📚 Links Mentioned:**

- Order Dr. Neff's **Autistic Burnout Workbook**: https://bookshop.org/a/108800/9781507223062

- Dr. Neff's Website: https://neurodivergentinsights.com

-Order Dr. Neff's Self Care for Autistic People: https://bookshop.org/a/108800/9781507221938

📖 Learn more about Dr. Neff:

https://www.neurodivergentinsights.com/

Substack: https://substack.com/@neurodivergentinsights

https://neurodivergentinsights.substack.com

Why do so many of us feel like we’re always performing — even in our safest spaces?

In this powerful and deeply resonant episode, Brett (The AudHD Boss) is joined once again by Dr. Megan Anna Neff, psychologist and founder of Neurodivergent Insights, to explore the complex emotional and psychological experience of autistic masking.

Together, they discuss:

• How masking starts in childhood as a trauma and survival response

• The privilege, protection, and cost of masking — especially for BIPOC neurodivergent individuals

• The intersection of masking with OCD, burnout, queerness, and late diagnosis

• Why unmasking is not just a process — but a layered, relational, and identity-shaping journey

• How to hold nuance in the unmasking conversation, including when masking is protective or strategic

• The need for self-permission, community, and compassion as we learn how to be our fullest selves

This is one of the most honest, layered, and liberating conversations we’ve had — full of real stories, research, and reflections. Whether you’re navigating your own unmasking process or supporting someone who is, you’ll walk away with validation, insight, and the reminder that this work is not meant to be done alone.

🔗 Learn more about Dr. Neff at neurodivergentinsights.com
💻 Coaching and resources: audhdboss.com
📺 Watch the full video on YouTube: @AuDHDBoss
🎧 Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts

#Autism #Unmasking #Neurodivergent #Masking #MentalHealth #LateDiagnosis #AutismInAdults #DrMeganAnnaNeff #QueerAndNeurodivergent #NeurodivergentIdentity #ADHD #AutisticBurnout

How do you turn burnout into business success as a neurodivergent entrepreneur? In this compelling episode, Brett, the AuDHD Boss, sits down with Patrick Casale – therapist, private practice coach, and host of the All Things Private Practice podcast and Divergent Conversations with Dr. Megan Anna Neff– to share his journey from high-stress work environments to thriving as a self-employed ADHD and autistic business owner.

In This Episode:

• Patrick’s path from workplace burnout to building a private practice

• Managing imposter syndrome and self-doubt as a neurodivergent leader

• Practical strategies for self-accommodations and executive function

• Creating affirming workplaces for ADHD and autistic staff

• Using fear as a gas pedal instead of a brake in business

Listen now to learn how Patrick Casale transformed burnout into a thriving business while navigating the unique challenges of ADHD and autism.

Work travel can be a sensory and social minefield for autistic and ADHD professionals. In this episode, I share my personal strategies and accommodations for handling work trips and conferences more effectively. From sensory tools to masking plans and recovery routines, these tips can help you feel more prepared and less overwhelmed when traveling for work. Tune in to hear practical advice inspired by Dr. Megan Anna Neff’s Autistic Burnout Workbook and my own experiences as an autistic leader. #NeurodivergentWorkplace #Autism #ADHD #WorkTravel #AudHD

Chapters:0:00 – Introduction: Why Work Travel is Challenging for Me1:05 – Sensory Tools: Travel-Friendly Stims2:18 – Planning Downtime & Setting Alarms3:02 – Identifying Quiet Spaces & Exit Strategies3:58 – Adjusting My Masking Plan: Who Can I Unmask With?5:15 – Creating a Recovery Plan for Work Events6:21 – Maintaining Routines on the Road7:46 – Navigating Social Situations & Group Activities8:27 – Food, Water, and Rest – Meeting Basic Needs9:17 – Final Thoughts & Recommended Resources******RESOURCES**********📘Dr. Neff's "Autistic Burnout Workbook": https://bookshop.org/a/108800/9781507223062📖Self Care for Autistic People: https://bookshop.org/a/108800/9781507221938🔗Neurodivergent Insights (Dr. Neff's website): https://neurodivergentinsights.com👉🏼Discount code for Dr. Neff's digital tools: AUDHDBOSS 🎥My interview with Dr. Neff: https://youtu.be/DO-vcVOUFDg

What happens when both you and your boss have ADHD? In this episode, I'm joined by my longtime friend and former colleague, Sherry, for a deep dive into the challenges and strategies of managing up with a neurodivergent manager.

We share real-world stories about navigating chaotic energy, building strengths-based teams, structuring weekly check-ins, and using "reverse accommodations" to create a more successful and supportive workplace.

Whether you're neurodivergent yourself or simply want better communication with your leadership, this conversation is packed with insights you can apply today.

Topics we cover:

• Managing priorities when your boss has ADHD

• Building trust through confident vulnerability

• Supporting overwhelmed managers without doing their job for them

• Communication tips for remote neurodivergent teams

🎧 Subscribe for more conversations about ADHD, autism, and thriving in the workplace.

• Managing Up with ADHD

• ADHD in the Workplace

• Neurodivergent Manager Support

• ADHD Boss Employee Tips

• Corporate Workplace ADHD Strategies

• Managing Neurodivergent Teams

• Strength-Based Leadership ADHD

• How to Manage Up with ADHD

• ADHD Communication Tips

• Thriving with ADHD at Work

What if a conversation between a neurodivergent and neurotypical person didn’t have to end in confusion?

In this episode, I talk with Michael Daniel, the creator of the NeuroTranslator app— an AI-powered tool designed to decode and bridge communication between autistic, ADHD, dyslexic, and neurotypical minds.

We explore:

• Michael’s late-diagnosis journey with autism and ADHD

• How unmasking affected his marriage and workplace experience

• What led him to build a communication translator for neurodivergent brains

• The impact of rejection sensitivity, burnout, and PDA in real life

• How this AI tool is already changing relationships, workplaces, and lives

Whether you're an autistic or ADHD professional, a curious manager, or someone looking to improve communication in your relationships, this episode is full of insights, compassion, and hope.

📲 Download the app: https://www.neurotranslator.ai 📚 Mentioned books: Divergent Mind: https://bookshop.org/a/108800/9780062876805 📚Unmasking Autism by Devon Price : https://bookshop.org/a/108800/9780593235232📚 Unmasking for Life: https://bookshop.org/a/108800/9780593735756📱 Follow Michael on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mickydaniel?_t=ZP-8vbF10HlKEJ&_r=1

Listen to more AuDHD Boss Podcast episodes: https://brettwhitmarsh.com/audhdboss-podcast/

Watch the full conversation on YouTube:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_6jstQ4qa0

What happens when you realize, years into adulthood, that you’ve been living with undiagnosed ADHD and autism? For many of us, the answer is grief.

In this episode, I open up about the complex emotional journey that followed my late diagnosis—how I processed lost time, forgave myself for what I didn’t know, and began building a new future with the tools I now have.

Whether you're newly diagnosed, self-diagnosed, or still figuring it out, this episode is here to remind you: you're not broken—you just needed a different way in.

We’ll talk about:

• Why grief is a normal part of late diagnosis

• Processing missed opportunities with compassion

• Tools that helped me find clarity and calm

• How I’m learning to unmask, self-advocate, and move forward

✨ You’re not alone. Let’s walk through this together.

🔗 More from Brett, The AuDHD Boss:
🎥 YouTube: youtube.com/@audhdboss
🌐 Website: audhdboss.com
📸 Instagram & TikTok: @audhdboss
🎧 Subscribe on your favorite podcast app for more real-talk on thriving as a neurodivergent professional.

What's the point of seeking an autism or ADHD diagnosis as an adult? I was recently asked why I would see out a diagnosis as an adult. The question being, wouldn't you have figure out coping skills by now? The questions has some ableist wrapped up in it. The short answer is, so I can get my needs met. This episode explores the impact of understanding your neurodivergence later in life, from gaining self-awareness to navigating workplace challenges. We address concerns about 'taking resources,' the benefits of self-diagnosis vs. formal diagnosis, and how a late diagnosis can feel like finally getting your life's 'owner's manual.' If you're questioning whether to pursue a diagnosis or seeking to understand late-diagnosed autism and ADHD, this episode offers valuable insights and relatable experiences.

For more information or more episodes or to subscribe to my YouTube channel visit: audhdboss.com

This episode of the AudHD Boss podcast explores autistic masking and its significant impact on autistic burnout. Host Brett, who has ADHD and autism and is a corporate leader, shares personal experiences and draws on expertise from Dr. Megan Anna Neff, author of "The Autistic Burnout Workbook".

Key topics covered include:

• Defining Autistic Masking: An explanation of what autistic masking is, including the conscious and unconscious suppression of autistic traits, mannerisms, and behaviors. Brett, referencing Dr Neff's book, discusses how masking often begins as a protective mechanism and shares his own experiences with "studying to be human" and mimicking others.
• The Link Between Masking and Burnout: How masking leads to a buildup of stress and exhaustion, ultimately contributing to autistic burnout. The episode explores how suppressing one's true self and needs takes a significant toll.
• Unmasking and Finding Your True Self: Brett discusses the journey of unmasking, drawing on author Dr. Gibson's concept (from Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents) of the "true self" versus the "role self". He shares his personal experience with coming out later in life as a catalyst for unmasking. The episode also covers practical techniques from The Autistic Burnout Workbook for unmasking and self-discovery, including developing interoceptive awareness and identifying sources of joy.
• Navigating Masking in Everyday Life: Practical advice for managing masking in various situations, including the importance of having a plan for when masking is necessary.

This episode provides valuable insights for autistic individuals, those with ADHD, and anyone interested in understanding neurodiversity and the challenges of masking.

📘Dr. Neff's "Autistic Burnout Workbook": https://bookshop.org/a/108800/9781507223062🔗Neurodivergent Insights (Dr. Neff's website): https://neurodivergentinsights.com👉🏼Discount code for Dr. Neff's digital tools: AUDHDBOSS 🎥My interview with Dr. Neff: https://youtu.be/DO-vcVOUFDg