The Art of the Hook Up – Details, episodes & analysis

We’re all familiar with the stereotype of the ‘nice guy’ - that straight bloke who bends over backwards to do favours for women, and expects attention in return. I’d like to introduce you to another kind of ‘nice guy’ - one who hides their sexual needs, feelings and desires for fear of offending or hurting others. Jordan Hackett is a sex coach and sexological bodyworker, and he’s also a recovered ‘nice guy’ of the latter variety. In this episode of the podcast, he’s joining us to share his story, and talk about the benefits of healthy, respectful sexual expression. 

There’s a saying in the alternative sex scene: ‘Couples that play together, stay together.’ Obviously that might not always be true...but dating - or hooking up - as a couple definitely works for some! Today you have the chance to hear two sides of the story. I’ve had quite a few adventures with couples, it’s something I really enjoy. And today I’m also speaking with Imogen and Andy from The Inner Winner Show Podcast, who love picking up together. I can’t wait to compare notes, find out how they work as a team, and explore what we all need to have a good experience.

Here are a couple of links that we mentioned in this episode:
"It's you and me on the same team." (Podcast episode)
"How to have threesomes." (blog post)

This is an unusual episode, because it’s happening right in the middle of the coronavirus pandemic. Opportunities for hooking up are looking slim at the moment…but it’s not a total disaster! Having sex online is totally a thing, and it’s something many of us have been doing for years. Whether you’re into sexting, dirty talk on the phone, Skype sex or just writing really hot slash fanfic and sending it to your crushes, there are SO many ways to get off that don’t involve meeting in person.  

Today I’ll be talking with Ariadne Starling – she’s a writer, literary critic and text-based erotic artist who’s been doing some of this stuff for years. Between her magic words and my experience with taking a good sexy selfie, I’m sure we’ll have a few useful tips to share with you.

When was the last time you got a bit of sex education? For many of us, the only time it happens is during sex ed at school, or if we have to go to an expert to solve a problem. But we can all benefit from learning to do sex better - and it’s totally possible to boost your sex skills solo. 

This is where Nat Cee comes in. She’s a queer sexual health promotion project worker, writer and podcaster who’s on a quest to start conversations around sexual health and sexuality. Now she’s joining me on this episode of the podcast to share her thoughts on sexual self-education, and how to get started having better sex – no previous qualifications required.

Ever since I started messing around with online dating a few years ago, I’ve been SO curious about what other people are getting up to on dating apps, and how my experience compares to theirs. But it’s not always something we talk about, especially when it’s not going well.  I’m super excited to be able to talk with Idan in this episode. He produces a podcast called Unmatch Me Now in which he convinces people from all walks of life to share their weird, awkward and incredible dating stories. Join us for a chat about how to get those conversations started – and what happens when we do. 

When mental health problems are getting you down, does seeking out sex makes the situation better or worse? Sam from smutbuttons.com is back to answer the question ‘Should I go out and get laid? Or should I see my therapist?’ 

Content warning: We’re talking about some heavy stuff, including a bit about suicide. If anything in this conversation makes you feel bad, and you’re in Australia, you can give Lifeline a call on 13 11 14.

Any sex pro will tell you that trusting your gut is the number-one rule when connecting with new sexual partners. But what does that actually mean? On this episode I’m joined by Kit, a writer and sex worker, to find out how we can use our intuition for better hook-ups.

There’s this standard cultural assumption that you’re either good at sex, or you’re not. But the truth is, sex is something we all need to practise… and we don’t always get it right the first time! On this cringe-tastic episode of the podcast, I’m talking with my friend Gabriel about the times in our lives when things have gone wrong in the bedroom – and how we managed to bounce back. 

This podcast episode is all about the sex advice I wish I’d learned earlier. If I could hop in a time machine and go back to when I was eighteen, or twenty, or twenty-five, I’d have SO much to say to my younger self! Also joining me on this time travel journey is Eva Sless - a writer, sex worker and the author of ‘The Teen Girls’ Guide to Getting Off.’

You might think threesomes are something that only happen in porn or in the movies, but more and more folks these days are experimenting with the ménage-a-trois. How can we get a threesome happening? And how do we make sure it goes well? This episode seeks to answer these questions, with the help of independent escort Alice Grey.