This week, we’re sifting through some of the "debris" that can hinder people from moving into the healing process in the wake of sexual abuse. 

Dan and Rachael talk about some of the questions that can keep people feeling stuck and silent: What if I don’t remember everything? What if my healing journey affects my loved ones? Shouldn’t I just forgive and move on? Can I wait until life isn’t so busy? What if facing this feels overwhelming?

By acknowledging these barriers, you can start to see a way through. Next week, we’ll discuss what’s needed to begin the healing journey from past abuse.

Please note that this episode contains discussions of sexual abuse and childhood sexual abuse, and may not be suitable for all audiences. Listener discretion is advised.

• Explore more podcast episodes including: "The Cost of Engaging Stories of Sexual Abuse," "Connections Between Spiritual and Sexual Abuse," and "Bearing Witness to Stories of Sexual Abuse and Racial Trauma."

• Read: Healing the Wounded Heart by Dr. Dan Allender

• Sign up for the Healing the Wounded Heart Online Course from the Allender Center

In this episode, Rachael Clinton Chen is joined by Vanessa Sadler, a trauma-informed spiritual director and contemplative creative, who brings heartfelt wisdom to the conversation about healing from personal and collective trauma and abuse. Vanessa draws on her unique training in the Enneagram, spiritual direction, and Narrative Focused Trauma Care to explore what spiritual direction truly is (and what it is not). 

Vanessa highlights the transformative power of spiritual direction as a vital part of the healing journey, helping to renew our spiritual imagination and attachment to God, ourselves, and others. She also shares some contemplative practices and resources that can support this process, which are linked in the show notes below.

Listener Resources:

• Subscribe to NOURISH Daily, a guided journey delivered to your inbox for 30 days, at https://centerfjp.org/nourish/ .

• Vanessa’s recommended reading list includes: Starting Spiritual Direction by John Mabry, Meditations of the Heart by Howard Thurman, and The Gift of Being Yourself by David Benner. She also references authors Margaret Gunther and Kaitlin Curtice and therapist Melody Li.

• Read more about the Lectio Divina, Visio Divina, and the practices of kataphatic and apophatic prayer.

Listen to Peace Talks, a podcast hosted by Vanessa Sadler from the Center for Formation, Justice, and Peace. In particular, Vanessa references this episode with Linda Royster and Dan Allender.

Charlie Peacock and Andi Ashworth, prolific artists, writers, and co-founders of Art House America, join Dan in this podcast episode to discuss their life, work, and recent book, "Why Everything That Doesn't Matter, Matters So Much."

In their latest book, Charlie and Andi have written a collection of letters to Christians and spiritual seekers who think deeply and care acutely about the state of the world and their personal spheres of influence. Each of these letters is a gentle nudge in the direction of God's powerfully ordinary purpose for each of us, no matter what the future holds, to participate fully in the beautiful, redemptive work of Christ.

Our conversation touches on the importance of hospitality, the need to recapture the imagination, and the shared journey of navigating a chronic illness. In the midst of facing significant challenges and the ebb and flow of busy times and moments of slowing down, this discussion highlights a steadfast commitment to living a life filled with beauty, creativity, and faith.

Be sure to check out “Why Everything That Doesn't Matter, Matters So Much: The Way of Love in a World of Hurt” by Charlie Peacock and Andi Ashworth, now available anywhere books are sold.

Renee Begay, ministry leader and co-founder of Nations Ministry, joins us this week on the podcast. Renee is a member of the Zuni tribe and shares with us her journey of holding and honoring her Indigenous cultural identity within the Western cultural context of her Christian faith.

This conversation is a beautiful reminder that we are invited to know our stories, value our unique identities, and know that we were each created to reveal the image of God in unique ways.

Our guest this week is Pastor James White, longtime friend of co-host Linda Royster. James is a highly sought out consultant, speaker and facilitator for several organizations and companies on issues relating to inclusion, equity and diversity.

James White, Linda Royster, and Dan Allender discuss the distinct narratives in scripture of the so-called “marginalized,” the narratives of race that have been created and embedded into our Western culture to dehumanize the “other,” and the opportunities we have to experience shalom when we truly listen to one another’s narratives.

“Whenever we talk about doing this work of diversity, equity, inclusion, we make it seem like it's just for marginalized people to gain power. I would say it’s so that we all can become the humans that God designed us to be,” says James White.

This week, we’re joined by Rev. Michael S. Chen, with Linda Royster co-hosting alongside Dr. Dan Allender. 

As we lean in to listening to one another’s voices, we’re examining the impact of the oppressive systems on our individual and collective stories, and naming the more subtle systems of division, comparison, stereotypes, fear, and distrust that may impact our ability to truly listen.

Why are these conversations so important? As Michaen Chen points out, without the perspectives of others who also bear the image of God, we will have an impoverished view of who God is.

This week, we’re revisiting a conversation from 2018 between Dr. Dan Allender and Dr. Angela Parker, Professor at The Seattle School of Theology & Psychology, as they explore the passage of 1 Corinthians 4:8-13. Dr. Parker starts by offering some context about the port city of Corinth and the people who make up the church Paul is writing to. It’s a divided city, concerned with hierarchy and proximity to power.

Dr. Parker challenges us to consider Paul’s ethnicity, gender, and position as we wonder about “what might be going on underneath the text,” which also invites us to wrestle with our own nuanced identities as readers of the text.

“Marginalization is profoundly violent,” states Linda Royster in this week’s conversation with Dan Allender. Linda is the Strategic Alliances Manager, Lead Instructor, and Co-Facilitator of the Story Workshop for Racial Trauma and Healing at The Allender Center.

From the very beginning, this conversation challenges the use of the term “marginalized.” As we engage topics such as race, gender, and cultural norms, this conversation sets the stage and reminds us to enter the conversation with the desire to listen - really listen - to voices that are often dismissed or diminished.

Linda reminds us that listening well “requires a willingness to mature, to go beyond being the center of your own world and to actually take into consideration that there is value outside of yourself.”

As we transition into the fall season, Dan and Becky Allender take a moment to reflect on their summer: the desires they had, the disappointments they felt, and the surprising lessons learned when things didn’t go as planned.

We’re joined again by author John Eldredge to talk about the hope that we can hold onto as we work through the collective and personal trauma of the COVID-19 pandemic. This is not accomplished through a to-do list, but rather through small practices that gently guide us deeper into the hope and restoration that God offers.

John’s latest book, “Resilient: Restoring Your Weary Soul in These Turbulent Times,” identifies the warning signs of post-pandemic weariness while also pointing to the resilient human spirit and the hope we have in God. 

A lost train of thought, a lost sense of motivation, a lost temper… these are just some of the things we may have lost as a result of the personal and global trauma of the pandemic. As restrictions have lifted, many of us are rushing for relief, finding comfort in the things we lost like dining out, going to concerts, and taking vacations. While there’s nothing wrong with enjoying these activities, we may be using them as quick fixes to soothe the pain and isolation experienced over the past two years.

Our guest this week, John Eldredge, has written about the need for acknowledging the trauma from the COVID-19 pandemic in his latest book, “Resilient: Restoring Your Weary Soul in These Turbulent Times.” In this conversation with Dr. Dan Allender, John points out the warning signs of post-pandemic weariness while also pointing to the resilient human spirit and the hope we have in God. 

We invite you to slow your pace for the next half hour or so to thoughtfully consider this conversation with us. 

This week, Dr. Dan Allender, Dr. Chelle Stearns, and Matthias Roberts, MA, reconvene to continue their conversation about being “lost at sea.”

Their conversation centers around the watery ritual of baptism: the terrifying acts of faith as we enter the murky waters and the renewal and redemption that God has for us. With deeply personal stories and compelling theological perspectives, we hope this conversation invites you to consider this ritual of renewal in new ways.

When we are rocked by trauma, loss, chaos, and uncertainty, it can feel like we are “lost at sea” without an anchor or clear direction. How do we begin to make sense of our lives and what we hold as true when we have left a familiar land?

Join Dr. Dan Allender for part one of this two-part conversation with Dr. Chelle Stearns and Matthias Roberts as they reflect on their recent class at The Seattle School for Theology and Psychology called, “Lost at Sea.” 

Next week, we’ll continue the discussion around rituals that can anchor us in hope and help us make sense of our lives in the midst of ambiguous waters.

On this first day of summer, we’re reflecting on the complexities and emotional challenges of scheduling and managing time. Why does managing our schedules often feel so stressful, chaotic, and even triggering?

The episode begins with Rachael admitting: “I'm laughing at how we on the Allender Center Podcast could take a topic like scheduling and dive into the deep recesses of the complexity of it.”

The truth is that scheduling is not just about logistics and managing time, but also about dealing with deeper issues like desire, grief, hope, and connection. 

The seemingly simple act of arranging our days can bring to the surface feelings of loss, as we confront the limits of what we can realistically accomplish. It can reveal our deepest desires, highlighting what we prioritize and what we long to make time for. Our schedules can also be a source of hope, as we plan for future events and possibilities, and a reflection of our need for connection, as we coordinate our time with others.

Join us for what we hope is a relatable conversation on how we navigate this common aspect of life, recognizing the emotional layers beneath the surface of our calendars and to-do lists.

In the third and final episode in our “Replay and Rest” series, we’ll revisit a conversation between Dan and Becky Allender as they reflect on the profound depths of rest we are invited to in Psalm 131.

We know that rest is of the utmost importance in order to recover from the toll that stress takes on our bodies, our minds, and our hearts. Here at The Allender Center, we are practicing what we teach and many of our team members are taking reduced work hours and vacation time during the month of July. In that spirit, we are choosing to re-air three popular past episodes that center around the theme of rest this month. Even if you have heard these before, we hope that you will take the time to listen, reflect, and purposely make space for rest in your own life.

The second episode in our “Replay and Rest” series is a reflection from Dr. Dan Allender during his sabbatical from teaching back in 2015. We hope that listening back to this portion of Dan's story will serve as an encouragement to examine our own attitudes towards rest.

We know that rest is of the utmost importance in order to recover from the toll that stress takes on our bodies, our minds, and our hearts. Here at The Allender Center, we are practicing what we teach and many of our team members are taking reduced work hours and vacation time during the month of July. In that spirit, we are choosing to re-air three popular past episodes that center around the theme of rest this month. Even if you have heard these before, we hope that you will take the time to listen, reflect, and purposely make space for rest in your own life.

We know that rest is of the utmost importance in order to recover from the toll that stress takes on our bodies, our minds, and our hearts. Here at The Allender Center, we are practicing what we teach and many of our team members are taking reduced work hours and vacation time during the month of July. In that spirit, we are choosing to re-air three popular past episodes that center around the theme of rest this month. Even if you have heard these before, we hope that you will take the time to listen, reflect, and purposely make space for rest in your own life.

The first episode is one of our most-downloaded episodes of all time. This discussion with Jeanette White, the Executive Director of the Allender Center, and Rachel Sanchez, the Program Manager of the Center for Transforming Engagement, contains practical grounding techniques that can help you address stress in the moment.

We invite you to revisit “Self Care with Practical Grounding Techniques” with us and be sure to check out the linked resources, too.

Resources

• To get the 60 Second Aroma Reset Process that Jeanette White talks about, visit her website at https://www.revealandrelease.com/reset 
• Download the Self Care Menu referenced by Rachel Sanchez here: http://theallendercenter.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/Create-Your-Own-Self-Care-Menu.pdf
• If you work in ministry or a caring profession and would like to build your resilience, applications are open now for the Certificate in Resilient Service. Learn more: https://theseattleschool.edu/programs/certificate-resilient-service/

In case you missed the title of this episode, the big news is that our beloved co-host of The Allender Center Podcast, Rachael Clinton Chen, will be taking some time away as she and her husband prepare to welcome a new baby into their lives. 

Rachael reflects on her journey so far as she chats with Dan Allender in what will be her final episode for the next few months. Please join us in wishing Rachael all the best, and as she says in her closing statement of this podcast: “See you on the other side.”

How did we get here? In our divided nation - and in our fragmenting churches - fear and hatred are running rampant. 

This week, Dan Allender speaks with Pete Wehner, who is an in-residence Senior Fellow at The Trinity Forum, an author, and a contributor to publications such as the New York Times and The Atlantic. 

Their conversation is an invitation to those of us within the body of Christ to consider the factors that influence our own stories, our faith, our political views, and our relationships with others.

How did we get here? In our divided nation - and in our fragmenting churches - fear and hatred are running rampant. 

This week, Dan Allender speaks with Pete Wehner, who is an in-residence Senior Fellow at The Trinity Forum, an author, and a contributor to publications such as the New York Times and The Atlantic. Their conversation is an invitation to those of us within the body of Christ to consider the factors that influence our own stories, our faith, our political views, and our relationships with others.

We’re continuing with the second part of the conversation with Cole Arthur Riley, author of “This Here Flesh,” co-hosted by Rachael Clinton Chen and Linda Royster from The Allender Center. We’ll drop back into the discussion as Rachael asks Cole about the ways she has encountered God in the midst of encountering the trauma and horrors of her own story.

If you missed the first part, you can go to the previous episode entitled, "This Here Flesh with Cole Arthur Riley, Part 1" to hear Cole speak about the impact of her family of origin on her life.

Rachael Clinton Chen is joined by Linda Royster from The Allender Center as they co-host this conversation with a very special guest. Cole Arthur Riley is the creator of Black Liturgies, a space for Black spiritual words of liberation, lament, rage, and rest; and a project of The Center for Dignity and Contemplation where she serves as Executive Curator. She is the author of the New York Times best selling book, This Here Flesh.

In the first part of this conversation, Cole talks about the impact of her family of origin and how she came to tell her story. Be sure to stay tuned for the conclusion of this conversation in next week’s podcast episode, in which Cole will share how her story led her to a new understanding of the Divine.

In this week’s episode, Dan Allender speaks with one of the driving forces behind The Allender Center: Kalee Vandergrift Porter, the Director of Business Development. Kalee shares her journey of being drawn to chaos, grappling with the expectations put onto her growing up, and discovering her own voice in her story.

In this episode, Dan Allender interviews his boss, Jeanette White, who is the Executive Director of The Allender Center. You will get to hear some of the themes of Jeanette’s story, from her work in trauma care with The Allender Center to her personal encounters with trauma.

Please note that this episode contains discussions of sex, and mentions sensitive topics like sexual assault, rape, and misogyny. Listener discretion is advised.

Do you remember “the talk?” Maybe you never had one… or wish yours had gone differently.

This week, we’re pleased to talk to friend, therapist, writer, and NFTC alumni Sam Jolman, MA, LPC, about his new book, “The Sex Talk You Never Got,” which was just released this week.

In our sex-saturated world, it might seem surprising that men need more talk about sex. But the reality is that sexuality is one of the most neglected aspects of men's lives. From the woefully inadequate sex talks many young men receive from parents (little more than an anatomy lesson or a purity lecture, if anything at all) to cultural messages that unhelpfully weave both shame and permissiveness into men's understanding of their own sexuality and masculinity, too many boys and men experience sexual desire as an area of struggle, confusion, and brokenness.

In this new book, Sam helps men reconnect their God-given sexuality with innocence, awe, and joy, and shows readers how to celebrate--instead of struggle against--the gift of sexual desire.

“The Sex Talk You Never Got” by Sam Jolman was just released on June 11, and is available wherever books are sold.

If you’ve just started following the Allender Center, or even if you’ve been around for a while, you may know us as an organization that holds space for healing from trauma and abuse. You may wonder why we place so much emphasis on story.

This continued interview of Dan Allender by his co-host, Rachael Clinton Chen, reveals the history of the inception of the Allender Center, why story is at the core of our work, and the reason we believe each of our stories are the key to discovering real meaning and connection to ourselves, to God, and to others.

In the first of this two-part series, Rachael Clinton Chen interviews Dan Allender about the origins of his work in helping people address and heal sexual abuse. You’ll drop into Dan’s story in the mid-1980s as he was finishing his doctoral studies. He was asked a question by one of his clients: “What do you know about sexual abuse?”

At the time, this very prevalent issue was not being addressed in secular culture, let alone by the church. Listen to how Dan grew into his unique role as a therapist, teacher, and innovative leader to help bring healing and transformation to those who have suffered harm and abuse.

Please note this does discuss the sensitive topic of sexual abuse and may not be suitable for some listeners.

As we continue our discussion about spiritual abuse, this week we’re looking at its impacts and how we can begin to move towards healing.

If this is a subject you’d like to continue to explore, or if you’d like to share this material with a loved one, we have a list of more articles, podcasts, and online learning opportunities in the show notes of today’s episode.

We invite you to stay tuned for the second part of this conversation next week. If you’d like to go deeper into this topic, consider enrolling in the “Confronting Spiritual Abuse Re-Release.” This is a full day of teaching from Rachael Clinton Chen that you may go through at your own pace. 

We offer this information not only to expose the harm, but because we believe that healing is possible. By doing this work, you can begin to reclaim spiritual beliefs and practices and reconnect with God and others in a deeper way.

Dan and Rachael continue their conversation from last week about post-traumatic stress. Once we identify and acknowledge it, how do we offer care for ourselves and those around us?

We hope this conversation inspires you to  contemplate some of the simple self-care practices and rituals you can implement in your own life, and the ways in which you can tend to yourself and others with mercy and care.

Discussing the topic of post-traumatic stress can feel particularly overwhelming because so many of us are currently in a state of ongoing post-traumatic stress. Dan and Rachael approach this conversation feeling weary, yet determined to unpack the impacts of PTSD so that we all might have more awareness, understanding, and grace for ourselves and those around us. We especially acknowledge the leaders and helpers - healthcare workers, teachers, parents, friends, and family members helping loved ones.

In this continued conversation on what it means to be wholehearted, Dan and Rachael ask one another - and you, dear listeners - to reflect on moments of wholeheartedness in our lives. These are the times when we are most present, most connected, and most alive. These are also the times when we can glimpse the fullness and glory of God.

What do you understand wholeheartedness to be? It often feels like an unattainable state, especially in this fallen world. 

In this conversation, Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen break down their experiences with becoming more wholehearted: the desire for its joy, the shame that often prevents us from embracing it, and the simple practices in which we can have an embodied, intentional movement toward Shalom.

In the third and final episode of our Sexual Abuse series, Dan and Rachael are joined by theologian Dr. Chelle Stearns. They discuss a difficult, and often controversial, topic of the ways in which Jesus fully took on humanity with all of its vulnerability, humiliation, and shame in order to suffer with us in those dark places and then bring redemption to them.

Please note: This is a sensitive topic and you may want to use discretion if you are listening with younger listeners.

We’re pleased to bring you a new, three-part series this summer from Rachael Clinton Chen, where she candidly shares personal insights from her own journey of holistically healing from complex PTSD and anxiety, and the things she didn’t expect when healing from trauma.

In the first episode of this series, Rachael shares some of her earliest memories of contending with anxiety as a child, how she managed it, and what eventually drove her to begin to seek help. 

From the heart-wrenching lows to the moments so absurd they bring laughter, and every breakthrough in between, we hope this series of heart-to-heart conversations will bring you hope, make you laugh, make you think, and most of all make you feel like you're not alone.

Stay tuned for Part 2, which will be released on July 5.

In the second episode of our series about sexual abuse, Dan and Rachael are joined by Linda Royster, licensed therapist and teaching staff at The Allender Center. 

Linda defines supremacy and the misuse of power as it relates to sexual abuse, violence, and racism, and how it is in direct opposition to true Shalom.

This week, we’re joined by Jay Stringer, a licensed mental health counselor, ordained minister, and author of the award-winning book “Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing.” @jay_stringer_’s passion is to equip the church with resources to change the conversation on sexual brokenness. He shares with us some stories that can help us examine our own stories as we move towards redemption.

We were honored to sit down for a conversation with Ian Morgan Cron, best-selling author and renowned Enneagram authority. 

In this conversation hosted by Dan and Rachael, @ianmorgancron shares how to use the Enneagram to push past old, stale stories and unlock inner power for both spiritual and personal growth. 

In this episode, you’ll gain new insight about how to rewrite broken narratives and step into becoming your authentic self.

Are you ever officially “done” parenting your child when they become an adult? Listen to this insightful and playful conversation between this week’s guest, Amanda Christian, and her dad - Dr. Dan Allender.

As an adult child, you have a very different relationship with your parents than you did in your youth. If we are given the privilege of having a relationship with our parents as they age, how does that relationship evolve in order for us to engage with them and care for them? 

Listen as Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen speak from their generational perspectives about the relationship between adult children and their parents throughout the aging process.

In this episode, Dr. Dan Allender and Becky Allender are joined by Dr. Steve Call and Lisa Call to share their experiences in addressing personal trauma in the context of marriage.

her life into living what she calls a “spacious life.” 

Listen as Dan Allender and Cathy Loerzel, co-authors of “Redeeming Heartache,” speak with Cary Umhau, author of “Burning Down the Fireproof Hotel” and find parallels between their work and their stories.

This conversation might make you feel like you’re sitting around a cozy table with close friends; we hope you enjoy it.

What does “grounding” mean? It’s engaging in practices that bring you back to your body and refocuses your thoughts when you may be experiencing the effects of stress, anxiety, or trauma.

Join Jeanette White, the Executive Director of the Allender Center, and Rachel Sanchez, the Manager of the Resilient Leaders Project at @theseattleschool to learn ways to find that moment of care for yourself. We think you’re going to love this one.

Change is inevitable, and transitioning through change often holds together two realities: grief for things that have been lost and hope for what lies ahead. How do we navigate these transitions when it feels as if we’re wandering through the wilderness? Listen as Dan and Rachael talk with Jon DeWaal of Liminal Space about how we might approach walking through seasons of transition in our lives, one step at a time.

Story is how we make meaning as humans. Stories help us shape our identity and influence our perception of God. Our stories also are revelatory; they reveal something of the nature of God in a way that nothing else does. 

If you’re curious about why we talk so much about story here at the Allender Center - or if you’ve heard it before and need a gentle reminder - this episode will help you reflect on the role of story and how your story connects with the story of God.

With so many things fighting for our attention, how do we intentionally create space of goodness for ourselves and others? Join us as we contemplate what it means to focus on the things that matter as we begin this new year.

How do we begin to process this past year and look forward to a new year when so many things feel beyond our control? In this special New Year’s Day edition, husband and wife duo Dan and Becky Allender discuss establishing rituals and rhythms that can keep us grounded and centered as we enter 2022.