Explore every episode of the podcast The Affair Recovery Podcast

After an affair, intimacy can feel like the last thing you want and the thing you ache for most. You still want to be known, and you also need to protect yourself. For a lot of couples, any step toward connection feels like a risk that isn't worth taking. In this episode, we sit down with Jay Stringer, licensed therapist and author of Desire, alongside Laurie Bryson, to talk about what intimacy truly is and how couples begin to write a new script after betrayal.

In this episode:

• What intimacy is, and why our culture keeps confusing it with sex
• A listener's question: "The more I heal, the angrier I get." Why that can be a sign of stabilization, not failure
• Why the intimacy you're looking for often sits inside the very problems you've been avoiding

Jay Stringer is a licensed mental health counselor, researcher, and speaker who helps people uncover the unexpected meaning hidden in life’s hardest challenges. He is the award-winning author of Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing and lives in New York City with his wife, Heather, and their two children.

• 🌐 Website: jay-stringer.com
• 📚 Get the Book: Desire
• 📸 Instagram: @jay_stringer_
• 🎁 Special Offer/Resource: Desire Quiz

‼️ Take the FREE Affair Analyzer: Understand your situation

🥾 Sign up for the FREE First Steps Bootcamp: Take the first step to heal

👥 Explore Our Courses: Get the support you need to recover

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⚠️ Disclaimer: Our resources are curated by experts but do not substitute for professional therapy. If you need personalized help, please seek out a qualified therapist or counselor. If you are in crisis, contact emergency services in your area. Transparency note: Some links above and in the comments may be affiliate links, which allow us to continue providing valuable resources for your recovery journey.

Will they cheat again? Once you’ve been betrayed, that question can follow you into every quiet moment, and the comment sections don’t help: once a cheater, always a cheater. If you’re the one who was unfaithful, you may be carrying a quieter version of the same fear: can I really change? This episode doesn’t pretend the fear is irrational. It takes it seriously and looks at what actually makes a marriage safe again. In this episode, our expert therapists talk honestly about relapse, what it is, how common it really is, and how people truly change.

In this episode:

• What relapse is and isn’t, from slipping back into old patterns to boundary violations to acting out again
• Why “I’ll never do this again” is less safe than “I know what I’m capable of,” and what a safe spouse does instead
• Whether couples come back after a second betrayal, and what has to be different the second time

‼️ Take the FREE Affair Analyzer: Understand your situation

🥾 Sign up for the FREE First Steps Bootcamp: Take the first step to heal

👥 Explore Our Courses: Get the support you need to recover

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⚠️ Disclaimer: Our resources are curated by experts but do not substitute for professional therapy. If you need personalized help, please seek out a qualified therapist or counselor. If you are in crisis, contact emergency services in your area. Transparency note: Some links above and in the comments may be affiliate links, which allow us to continue providing valuable resources for your recovery journey.

Cindy Beall's husband came home one morning and confessed to multiple affairs over two and a half years. Then came the final blow: one of the women was pregnant. Cindy went into a despair so deep she didn't know how she would keep living, let alone stay married. Twenty-five years later, she looks back on a marriage that not only survived but became the one she had always hoped for.

In this episode, we sit down with Cindy, a pastor, author of Healing Your Marriage When Trust Is Broken, and past Hope Rising speaker, to walk through what that road looked like from the inside.

In this episode:

• How she came to love the affair partner's son as her own, and what she would call back to anyone still in the pain
• Why forgiving her husband did not make the pain go away, and the one thing he did that helped it pass faster
• How her faith held when she felt God had let her down, and what she would say to anyone wrestling with that same anger

Cindy Beall has served in full-time ministry alongside her husband, Chris, since they married in 1993. In addition to that, she is the CFO at Beall Power Solutions, a company owned by two of her sons. She is also a published author of two books: Healing Your Marriage When Trust Is Broken and Rebuilding a Marriage Better Than New. The Bealls have three sons, one daughter-in-love, and three grandchildren. 

Get the books:

• Healing Your Marriage When Trust Is Broken
• Rebuilding a Marriage Better Than New

‼️ Take the FREE Affair Analyzer: Understand your situation

🥾 Sign up for the FREE First Steps Bootcamp: Take the first step to heal

👥 Explore Our Courses: Get the support you need to recover

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⚠️ Disclaimer: Our resources are curated by experts but do not substitute for professional therapy. If you need personalized help, please seek out a qualified therapist or counselor. If you are in crisis, contact emergency services in your area. Transparency note: Some links above and in the comments may be affiliate links, which allow us to continue providing valuable resources for your recovery journey.

Should we just quit? What are we doing wrong? Why does it feel worse now than it did before? One minute you can't get close enough, the next a single look sends you both back to your corners, and you're left wondering if any of this is normal. In episode 25, Jeremy sits down with Rick, John and Laurie to answer the questions they hear most from couples in the thick of it, and to name the phases that feel like failure but aren't.

In this episode:

• The push and pull where one of you reaches out just as the other pulls away, and what to do when it feels like you can't win
• Why the unfaithful spouse often feels lighter first while the betrayed spouse carries the weight, and what Rick says the one who strayed owes their mate in that season
• How to tell a normal phase from a pattern that isn't one, and when "we survived the crisis" has quietly become "we stopped"

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👥 Explore Our Courses: Get the support you need to recover

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⚠️ Disclaimer: Our resources are curated by experts but do not substitute for professional therapy. If you need personalized help, please seek out a qualified therapist or counselor. If you are in crisis, contact emergency services in your area. Transparency note: Some links above and in the comments may be affiliate links, which allow us to continue providing valuable resources for your recovery journey.

The affair most likely isn’t the only thing you’re carrying. There may be an illness, a loss, a job that fell through, kids who need you, or years of quietly holding it all together, and now you’re being asked to heal a marriage on top of it. In this episode, we sit down with Dr. Marcus Earle, Clinical Director of Psychological Counseling Services with 38 years in behavioral health, to talk about what so many of you have written in about: when infidelity isn’t your only crisis, where do you even begin?

In this episode:

• Why “fix one thing first” rarely works when you’re carrying more than one crisis, and the one thing Marcus and Rick say to address before anything else
• Whether marriage work and individual healing happen in order or at the same time, and the two situations where safety has to come first
• Three listener questions: a betrayed husband thirty years past discovery now facing cancer, a wife whose husband won’t address the affair, and an unfaithful wife asking how to tell her children about a pregnancy from the affair

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Dr. Marcus Earle is the Clinical Director for Psychological Counseling Services known for specializing in Marriage and Family Therapy, and Sex Addiction. With over 38 years of experience in behavioral health, they have helped countless patients achieve true healing.

• 🌐 Website: https://pcsintensive.com/
• 💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/psychological-counseling-services-ltd
• 🎥 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@themindofatherapist
• 👥 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PsychCounselingServicesAZ/

For additional clinical resources referenced in this episode: International Institute for Trauma & Addiction Professionals

‼️ Take the FREE Affair Analyzer: Understand your situation

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👥 Explore Our Courses: Get the support you need to recover

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⚠️ Disclaimer: Our resources are curated by experts but do not substitute for professional therapy. If you need personalized help, please seek out a qualified therapist or counselor. If you are in crisis, contact emergency services in your area. Transparency note: Some links above and in the comments may be affiliate links, which allow us to continue providing valuable resources for your recovery journey.

Whether it's been months or years, carrying the weight of betrayal can feel like something you'll never be able to set down. You'd let it go if you could, but forgiving feels like saying it was okay, or letting them off the hook. In this episode, we sit down to answer listener questions about forgiving what you can't forget, sharing what forgiveness looked like in our own recovery and starting with the piece so many people miss: what forgiveness actually is, and what it isn't.

In this episode:

• What forgiveness isn't: forgetting, reconciling, saying it was okay, or giving up your boundaries
• What forgiveness is: a choice you make for yourself, and why it costs you more to hold on than to let go
• The moments and rituals from our own forgiveness journeys that finally moved us from deciding to forgive to feeling it, even without the whole truth or an apology

👀 WATCH the Episode

‼️ Take the FREE Affair Analyzer: Understand your situation

🥾 Sign up for the FREE First Steps Bootcamp: Take the first step to heal

👥 Explore Our Courses: Get the support you need to recover

📞 +1 (737) 227-5014 Share a question for future episodes

⚠️ Disclaimer: Our resources are curated by experts but do not substitute for professional therapy. If you need personalized help, please seek out a qualified therapist or counselor. If you are in crisis, contact emergency services in your area. Transparency note: Some links above and in the comments may be affiliate links, which allow us to continue providing valuable resources for your recovery journey.

Two years into their marriage, Ryan confessed an addiction. In the painful years that followed, Jessica had affairs of her own. In their words, they “set their marriage on fire.” Twenty years later, they are both therapists helping couples heal from infidelity, and in this episode they tell their own story.

In this episode:

• Ryan and Jessica's full story, from his confession to her affairs to the three disclosures it took for the whole truth to come out
• Why Jessica says affairs don't cause affairs, and the difference between a revenge affair and coping with pain
• A listener's question: when you're both betrayed and both unfaithful, how do you heal?

👀 WATCH the Episode

Jessica and Ryan McDaniel are Licensed Professional Counselors who both graduated from UT Austin with degrees in Psychology before each earning an MA in Counseling at Denver Seminary. Jessica is passionate about walking with those experiencing betrayal trauma, identity and sexual brokenness, pregnancy grief and loss, and postpartum depression; she currently leads groups for Postpartum Support, Perinatal Loss, and Betrayed Wives impacted by infidelity. Ryan has pursued his passion of helping others with sexual addiction, infidelity, depression, anxiety, and trauma. Together they run McDaniel Counseling in Round Rock, Texas, and have been working with Affair Recovery since 2017. Having personally walked through both betrayal and infidelity in their own marriage, they've seen firsthand that hope and healing are possible for anyone willing to work through the pain.

Follow Ryan & Jessica:
📸 Instagram: @mcdanielcounseling
🌐 Website: https://www.mcdanielcounseling.com

‼️ Take the FREE Affair Analyzer: Understand your situation

🥾 Sign up for the FREE First Steps Bootcamp: Take the first step to heal

👥 Explore Our Courses: Get the support you need to recover

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⚠️ Disclaimer: Our resources are curated by experts but do not substitute for professional therapy. If you need personalized help, please seek out a qualified therapist or counselor. If you are in crisis, contact emergency services in your area. Transparency note: Some links above and in the comments may be affiliate links, which allow us to continue providing valuable resources for your recovery journey.

A promise is not a boundary. Jim Ramos, author of Guardrails and founder of Men in the Arena, joins Jeremy and Rick Reynolds to lay out the practical guardrails that rebuild safety in a marriage, and why saying “you can trust me” changes nothing on its own.

In this episode:

• A guardrail breach begins small and compounds from there
• What a spouse is asking for when they ask for a boundary, and why it is not an attempt to manage anyone
• Why the charge of legalism misses what is actually at stake in a marriage after a breach

👀 WATCH the Episode

Jim Ramos is a bestselling author, speaker, and the founder of Men in the Arena, an international ministry focused on equipping Christian Men in the 'Stress Bubble' of life - married, with kids in the home, struggling to lead their families, churches, and communities well. Jim passionately galvanizes men to fight passivity, "get out of the bleachers," and step up "into the arena" of spiritual leadership. He hosts the #1 ranked Spotify podcast for Christian men, the Men in the Arena Podcast, and has written numerous books, including the USA TODAY Bestseller Dialed In: Reaching Your Full Capacity as a Man of God.

April 7 was the release of his newest book, Guardrails: Ten Boundaries for an Unbreakable Marriage. In it, Jim outlines 10 time-tested boundaries designed to protect relationships from infidelity—one simple choice at a time.

Connect with Jim and Men in the Arena:

• 📚 Get the Book: tinyurl.com/Guardrails115
• 📸 Instagram: @themeninthearena
• 🌐 Website: meninthearena.org
• 🎥 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@theMenintheArena

‼️ Take the FREE Affair Analyzer: Understand your situation

🥾 Sign up for the FREE First Steps Bootcamp: Take the first step to heal

👥 Explore Our Courses: Get the support you need to recover

📞 +1 (737) 227-5014 Share a question for future episodes

⚠️ Disclaimer: Our resources are curated by experts but do not substitute for professional therapy. If you need personalized help, please seek out a qualified therapist or counselor. If you are in crisis, contact emergency services in your area. Transparency note: Some links above and in the comments may be affiliate links, which allow us to continue providing valuable resources for your recovery journey.

A song. A street you have to drive down. A photo your phone decides to resurface. You were fine five minutes ago and now you cannot breathe, and nobody warned you that this is what recovery would feel like. In Episode 21, our team focuses on 24/7 triggers: what they actually are, what to do when therapy or group is not available, and how the unfaithful can support their spouse in navigating these unexpected moments that rob everyday life.

In this episode:

• What a trigger actually is, why it fires before you can think, and why that is your brain trying to protect you
• What to do in the moment, from naming it out loud to anticipating a hard room before you walk into it
• How an unfaithful spouse can show up when their spouse is triggered, and the one sentence never to say

👀 WATCH the Episode

‼️ Take the FREE Affair Analyzer: Understand your situation

🥾 Sign up for the FREE First Steps Bootcamp: Take the first step to heal

👥 Explore Our Courses: Get the support you need to recover

📞 +1 (737) 227-5014 Share a question for future episodes

⚠️ Disclaimer: Our resources are curated by experts but do not substitute for professional therapy. If you need personalized help, please seek out a qualified therapist or counselor. If you are in crisis, contact emergency services in your area. Transparency note: Some links above and in the comments may be affiliate links, which allow us to continue providing valuable resources for your recovery journey.

What does a true recovery roadmap look like? Does reaching the final destination simply mean stopping the addictive behaviors? In Episode 20, we welcome back Matt Wenger, Clinical Director at the Begin Again Institute, for part two of a conversation on healing sexual addiction. We get practical about the difference between sobriety and recovery, signs that someone is ready to address his/her addiction, how an unfaithful spouse can support a traumatized partner while doing their own healing, and so much more. We believe that no matter how far away it feels you can find real intimacy again.

👀 WATCH the Episode

Matt is the Executive Clinical Director of Begin Again Institute, a treatment center that offers 14day  Trauma Based Intensives for Men seeking recovery from porn and sex addiction. Begin Again Institute also offers intensives for Betrayed Partners. He has served more than 1,500 families in that setting since 2019. Matt’s expertise is in men’s addiction, betrayal trauma, childhood trauma, couple’s recovery and the spiritual aspects of recovery. Matt holds a Master’s degree in Couples and Family Counseling and is credentialed as Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC), Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT), and Certified Clinical Partner Specialist (CCPS). Matt lives near Boulder, Colorado and enjoys spending time with his family, friends and being in nature. 

Connect with Matt:

• 🌐 Website: beginagaininstitute.com
• 📸 Instagram: @beginagaininstitute
• 💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/matthew-wenger-19b883294/ 

‼️ Take the FREE Affair Analyzer: Understand your situation

🥾 Sign up for the FREE First Steps Bootcamp: Take the first step to heal

👥 Explore Our Courses: Get the support you need to recover

📞 +1 (737) 227-5014 Share a question for future episodes

⚠️ Disclaimer: Our resources are curated by experts but do not substitute for professional therapy. If you need personalized help, please seek out a qualified therapist or counselor. If you are in crisis, contact emergency services in your area. Transparency note: Some links above and in the comments may be affiliate links, which allow us to continue providing valuable resources for your recovery journey.

If you've ever wondered why nobody knew what to do with you after your world fell apart, you're not alone. Board-certified betrayal trauma coach Andrea Rogers shares her own story of discovering a 12-year affair and the difference between real recovery and simply modifying behavior.

In this episode:

• The fallout of Andrea’s discovery and what she learned about betrayal trauma
• Real recovery versus just modifying behavior
• Intimate Partner Betrayal Awareness Day, launching August 4th

👀 WATCH the Episode 

Andrea Rogers is a Board Certified Coach and Certified Partner Coach with APSATS,  known for her empowering voice for betrayed partners. With over 20 years of experience in emotional wellness and empowerment coaching , she is the founder of Fully Alive Coaching and the Intimate Partner Betrayal Alliance, along with the creation of Intimate Partner Betrayal Awareness Day.

Connect with Andrea:

• 🌐 Website: www.fullyalivecoachingllc.com, www.ipbawareness.org 
• 📚 Get the Book: An Ember of Light - https://www.fullyalivecoachingllc.com/an-ember-of-light 
• 📸 Instagram: @coachandreafac @intimatepartnerbetrayal
• 📱 TikTok: @coachandreafac

‼️ Take the FREE Affair Analyzer: Understand your situation

🥾 Sign up for the FREE First Steps Bootcamp: Take the first step to heal

👥 Explore Our Courses: Get the support you need to recover

📞 +1 (737) 227-5014 Share a question for future episodes

⚠️ Disclaimer: Our resources are curated by experts but do not substitute for professional therapy. If you need personalized help, please seek out a qualified therapist or counselor. If you are in crisis, contact emergency services in your area. Transparency note: Some links above and in the comments may be affiliate links, which allow us to continue providing valuable resources for your recovery journey.

Attempting to make sense of the affair is painfully confusing, especially when there are signs of sexual addiction. In Episode 19, Matt Wenger, Clinical Director at the Begin Again Institute, joins the podcast to explain how sex addiction looks different from other types of infidelity, and to share a message every betrayed spouse needs to hear: this is not your fault.

In this episode:

• What sets sex addiction apart from other types of infidelity
• Why abstinence alone doesn't constitute true recovery
• Why your skepticism is protecting you, and why you don't have to settle for anything less than a whole, authentic relationship

👀 WATCH the Episode 

Matt is the Executive Clinical Director of Begin Again Institute, a treatment center that offers 14day  Trauma Based Intensives for Men seeking recovery from porn and sex addiction. Begin Again Institute also offers intensives for Betrayed Partners. He has served more than 1,500 families in that setting since 2019. Matt’s expertise is in men’s addiction, betrayal trauma, childhood trauma, couple’s recovery and the spiritual aspects of recovery. Matt holds a Master’s degree in Couples and Family Counseling and is credentialed as Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC), Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT), and Certified Clinical Partner Specialist (CCPS). Matt lives near Boulder, Colorado and enjoys spending time with his family, friends and being in nature. 

Connect with Matt:

• 🌐 Website: beginagaininstitute.com
• 📸 Instagram: @beginagaininstitute
• 💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/matthew-wenger-19b883294/ 

‼️ Take the FREE Affair Analyzer: Understand your situation

🥾 Sign up for the FREE First Steps Bootcamp: Take the first step to heal

👥 Explore Our Courses: Get the support you need to recover

📞 +1 (737) 227-5014 Share a question for future episodes

⚠️ Disclaimer: Our resources are curated by experts but do not substitute for professional therapy. If you need personalized help, please seek out a qualified therapist or counselor. If you are in crisis, contact emergency services in your area. Transparency note: Some links above and in the comments may be affiliate links, which allow us to continue providing valuable resources for your recovery journey.

If one part of you wants to stay and another wants to leave, you know how exhausting that inner standoff can be. Many people believe that making the decision will finally quiet the pain. In Episode 18, Wayne Baker, LPC, explores why it actually works the other way around, and how getting curious about your own "parts" helps you begin to move forward. 

In this episode:

• Why you feel pulled in opposite directions and “crazy” in the midst of the pain
• "No bad parts": why even your anger has a good intention, though the behavior may not
• Why you work through the feelings to find the clarity, and only then make the decision

👀 WATCH the Episode

‼️ Take the FREE Affair Analyzer: Understand your situation

🥾 Sign up for the FREE First Steps Bootcamp: Take the first step to heal

👥 Explore Our Courses: Get the support you need to recover

📞 +1 (737) 227-5014 Share a question for future episodes

⚠️ Disclaimer: Our resources are curated by experts but do not substitute for professional therapy. If you need personalized help, please seek out a qualified therapist or counselor. If you are in crisis, contact emergency services in your area. Transparency note: Some links above and in the comments may be affiliate links, which allow us to continue providing valuable resources for your recovery journey.

Surviving the trauma isn't the same as truly healing what caused it. In this bonus episode, Jason sits down to tell his and Dara's full story: what was going on inside him across multiple betrayals, why the first round of help didn't create real change, and what finally broke through.

In this episode:

• Listen to Jason describe honestly what was driving the behavior — in his own words, without excuses
• Learn why getting back to normal after the first discovery left the root cause untouched
• Hear his wife's powerful words at a rock bottom moment in recovery

‼️ Take the FREE Affair Analyzer: Understand your situation

🥾 Sign up for the FREE First Steps Bootcamp: Take the first step to heal

👥 Explore Our Courses: Get the support you need to recover

📞 +1 (737) 227-5014 Share a question for future episodes

⚠️ Disclaimer: Our resources are curated by experts but do not substitute for professional therapy. If you need personalized help, please seek out a qualified therapist or counselor. If you are in crisis, contact emergency services in your area. Transparency note: Some links above and in the comments may be affiliate links, which allow us to continue providing valuable resources for your recovery journey.

You've tried everything but nothing changes. You may be wondering whether something deeper is going on. Dr. David Hawkins, clinical psychologist and founder of the Marriage Recovery Center, joins our expert therapists in Episode 17 to unpack the spectrum from narcissism to emotional immaturity, clarify what real remorse actually looks like, and work through a key question: is my mate in a season of affair fog, or is what I'm seeing a pervasive pattern? In this episode:

• The real difference between narcissism, emotional abuse, and emotional immaturity — and why it matters for your recovery
• What real remorse actually looks like, and why an apology without accountability isn't one
• How to find your own identity again after years of feeling like you're disappearing

Dr. David Hawkins, Founder and Director of the Marriage Recovery Center and the Emotional Abuse Institute, has brought healing and restoration to thousands of marriages throughout his forty-plus-year career as a clinical psychologist, speaker, and best-selling author. Recognized as an expert in the field of treatment for narcissism and emotional abuse, he developed The Comprehensive Core, a one-of-a-kind program that has helped thousands of men heal from narcissism and emotional abuse.  He also offers training for mental health professionals on navigating narcissistic and emotionally abusive dynamics within the context of relationships. In addition to authoring more than 40 books on marriage and relationships, Dr. Hawkins is the host of the Marriage Rehab Podcast, available anywhere you get your podcasts.

Connect with Dr. Hawkins:

• 🌐 Website: https://marriagerecoverycenter.com/ 
• 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marriagerecoverycenter/ 
• 🎥 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@drdavidbhawkins 
• 👥 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/marriagerecoverycenter/ 
• 🎁 Free Quiz: IS HE/SHE A NARCISSIST? Take the quiz developed by Dr. Hawkins to find out: https://marriagerecoverycenter.com/NARCISSISM-QUIZ/ 

‼️ Take the FREE Affair Analyzer: Understand your situation

🥾 Sign up for the FREE First Steps Bootcamp: Take the first step to heal

👥 Explore Our Courses: Get the support you need to recover

📞 +1 (737) 227-5014 Share a question for future episodes

⚠️ Disclaimer: Our resources are curated by experts but do not substitute for professional therapy. If you need personalized help, please seek out a qualified therapist or counselor. If you are in crisis, contact emergency services in your area. Transparency note: Some links above and in the comments may be affiliate links, which allow us to continue providing valuable resources for your recovery journey.

The rage that comes after infidelity can make you feel like you've become someone you don't recognize, capable of words, actions, and emotional spirals you never thought possible. In Episode 16, our expert therapists, joined by EMS Weekend Clinical Contributor Brett Hart, LPC, open up with their own deeply personal stories of breaking down in anger and what they learned in the journey through it. If you're feeling stuck in anger you can't seem to shake, or watching it come out sideways in places it doesn't belong, this episode is a reminder that you're not crazy, you're not alone, and there is a way through.

In this episode:

• The raw, vulnerable stories of anger from our therapists themselves, before they had the tools
• What's often sitting beneath the rage: fear, shame, grief, and trauma
• Practical ways to channel anger without doing more damage to yourself or the people you love

👀 WATCH the Episode

‼️ Take the FREE Affair Analyzer: Understand your situation

🥾 Sign up for the FREE First Steps Bootcamp: Take the first step to heal

👥 Explore Our Courses: Get the support you need to recover

📞 +1 (737) 227-5014 Share a question for future episodes

⚠️ Disclaimer: Our resources are curated by experts but do not substitute for professional therapy. If you need personalized help, please seek out a qualified therapist or counselor. If you are in crisis, contact emergency services in your area. Transparency note: Some links above and in the comments may be affiliate links, which allow us to continue providing valuable resources for your recovery journey.

Not all therapy is created equal – and after an affair, finding the right kind of help can feel like searching in the dark. In Episode 15, our expert therapists are joined by special guest, Candace, to talk about what quality care actually looks like and what to think about the rising trend of AI therapy. We live in a world overflowing with content — but discover why community is what actually heals.

• Learn what to look for in a therapist trained specifically for infidelity recovery and betrayal trauma — and the difference it makes
• Discover holistic care beyond the therapy room: sleep, community, spiritual practices, and what to do when finances are a barrier
• Find out why AI can't replace human connection in healing — and what real community offers that no chatbot ever can

📌 Download the Finding Quality Care guide

👀 WATCH the Episode

‼️ Take the FREE Affair Analyzer: Understand your situation

🥾 Sign up for the FREE First Steps Bootcamp: Take the first step to heal

👥 Explore Our Courses: Get the support you need to recover

📞 +1 (737) 227-5014 Share a question for future episodes

⚠️ Disclaimer: Our resources are curated by experts but do not substitute for professional therapy. If you need personalized help, please seek out a qualified therapist or counselor. If you are in crisis, contact emergency services in your area. Transparency note: Some links above and in the comments may be affiliate links, which allow us to continue providing valuable resources for your recovery journey.

Whether your desires led you to regret, or you're grieving desires that have gone unmet because of someone else's choices — your relationship with desire is closer to the center of your recovery than you might think. In this bonus episode, therapist and author Jay Stringer unpacks his new book Desire and why curiosity, not condemnation, is the path through.

• Discover what our desires are actually trying to tell us about our story, our wounds, and our path to healing
• Hear about the hidden cause of infidelity and what to do about it
• Learn how to practically move away from condemnation to curiosity as a means of moving forward

Jay Stringer is a licensed mental health counselor, researcher, and speaker who helps people uncover the unexpected meaning hidden in life’s hardest challenges. He is the award-winning author of Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing and lives in New York City with his wife, Heather, and their two children.

• 🌐 Website: jay-stringer.com
• 📚 Get the Book: Desire
• 📸 Instagram: @jay_stringer_
• 🎁 Special Offer/Resource: Desire Quiz

‼️ Take the FREE Affair Analyzer: Understand your situation

🥾 Sign up for the FREE First Steps Bootcamp: Take the first step to heal

👥 Explore Our Courses: Get the support you need to recover

📞 +1 (737) 227-5014 Share a question for future episodes

⚠️ Disclaimer: Our resources are curated by experts but do not substitute for professional therapy. If you need personalized help, please seek out a qualified therapist or counselor. If you are in crisis, contact emergency services in your area. Transparency note: Some links above and in the comments may be affiliate links, which allow us to continue providing valuable resources for your recovery journey.

Recovery after infidelity rarely follows a clean path and sometimes the very things meant to bring healing become the barriers to it. In Episode 14, our expert therapists answer real listener questions on the most painful obstacles to healing – including trauma, trust, trickle truth and affair partners.

• Hear why pain that should be fading still feels fresh — and what severe trauma actually requires to heal
• Learn how to navigate trickle truth, affair partners who are family members, and the whipsaw of partial responsibility
• Discover how to keep healing and reclaim your life, even when your spouse won't do the work alongside you

👀  WATCH the Episode

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⚠️ Disclaimer: Our resources are curated by experts but do not substitute for professional therapy. If you need personalized help, please seek out a qualified therapist or counselor. If you are in crisis, contact emergency services in your area. Transparency note: Some links above and in the comments may be affiliate links, which allow us to continue providing valuable resources for your recovery journey.

The pain of infidelity is like no other — and what you do with it shapes the rest of your life. In Episode 13, our expert therapists unpack why time alone doesn't heal this kind of wound and reveal the step most people miss on the path to true healing.

• Discover why "time heals all wounds" is a myth when it comes to the pain of infidelity
• Learn about the unique, lonely grief of betrayal — the kind there's no Hallmark card for
• Find the difference between grieving the loss and actually mourning it — and why one transforms you while the other keeps you stuck

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⚠️ Disclaimer: Our resources are curated by experts but do not substitute for professional therapy. If you need personalized help, please seek out a qualified therapist or counselor. If you are in crisis, contact emergency services in your area. Transparency note: Some links above and in the comments may be affiliate links, which allow us to continue providing valuable resources for your recovery journey.

If you’ve discovered your spouse is using porn, you might be asking if your pain is valid or if it’s "really" infidelity. You’re not alone. In episode 12, our expert therapists dive into this painful tension. Whether you are struggling with a long-term addiction, a different type of infidelity altogether, or wondering if recovery looks different for porn than a physical affair, we offer a path for you to find true intimacy—perhaps even for the very first time.

• Hear how porn is a "sanitized" yet still life-shattering form of betrayal
• Discover the true impact of porn use on the individual and relationship
• Find steps we can all take, regardless of the type of affair, to move towards true intimacy

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⚠️ Disclaimer: Our resources are curated by experts but do not substitute for professional therapy. If you need personalized help, please seek out a qualified therapist or counselor. If you are in crisis, contact emergency services in your area. Transparency note: Some links above and in the comments may be affiliate links, which allow us to continue providing valuable resources for your recovery journey.

Reaching "ground zero" is the only way to build a new relationship after the old one has crumbled—but how do you know if your spouse is finally telling the whole truth? In Episode 11, Peter F Daniels III (MSEE, LCSW-S, CSAT) joins our experts to navigate the complex world of disclosure and discovery, helping both the betrayed and the unfaithful reach a solid foundation and begin rebuilding something new. We explore:

• The trauma of “trickle truth” and the clinical role of polygraphs in disclosure
• How to cope with the trauma of intrusive thoughts and triggers
• What to do if you are wrestling with hidden details or unsure how to divulge the truth

Peter F Daniels III (MSEE, LCSW-S, CSAT) is an Affair Recovery Clinical Contributor and dedicated therapist who transitioned into the field following a profound personal and spiritual turning point within his own recovery journey in 2000. Peter is deeply passionate about guiding both men and couples through the complex wreckage of infidelity to find a sense of fullness and hope. In addition to co-owning Therapy Works ATX and founding a long-standing Austin nonprofit for the homeless, he designs specialized therapeutic tools for Emotional Transformation Therapy (ETT) and is polygraph-certified. He longs to see individuals and couples navigate the trauma of betrayal with authenticity and resilience, ultimately helping them live "fully alive".

🌐 Find Peter at his clinical practice: https://www.therapyworksatx.com/

‼️ Take the FREE Affair Analyzer: Understand your situation

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⚠️ Disclaimer: Our resources are curated by experts but do not substitute for professional therapy. If you need personalized help, please seek out a qualified therapist or counselor. If you are in crisis, contact emergency services in your area. Transparency note: Some links above and in the comments may be affiliate links, which allow us to continue providing valuable resources for your recovery journey.

The question of "WHY" is often the greatest source of anguish for couples reeling from infidelity, yet it can also be the very path toward lasting healing. While you may never fully comprehend every detail, discovering the "why" is a critical step to getting your life and marriage back.

In episode 10, we feature a long time friend and fellow Affair Recovery Clinical Contributor, Jessica McDaniel, LPC-S as she and our other therapists unpack: 

• Understanding the root causes of an affair, allowing the betrayed to find a way to trust again
• Going backwards to help the unfaithful avoid relapse by learning from the past
• How both spouses can practice “compassionate curiosity” to understand the WHY

Jessica McDaniel, LPC-S has partnered with Affair Recovery for over a decade, serving couples at our 3-day EMS Weekend intensives alongside other clinical contributors. She provides support to women and couples who are looking for authentic, gospel- centered growth and change. 

Follow Jessica McDaniel, LPC-S:
📸 Instagram: @mcdanielcounseling
🌐 Website: https://www.mcdanielcounseling.com

‼️ Take the FREE Affair Analyzer: Understand your situation

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⚠️ Disclaimer: Our resources are curated by experts but do not substitute for professional therapy. If you need personalized help, please seek out a qualified therapist or counselor. If you are in crisis, contact emergency services in your area. Transparency note: Some links above and in the comments may be affiliate links, which allow us to continue providing valuable resources for your recovery journey.

How do you move forward when your marriage feels permanently tainted? Learn to navigate the grief of a shattered past while building a relationship worth staying for. In Episode 9, our experts answer a diverse set of questions: 

• How to forgive, even when your spouse isn’t willing to do the work
• The trap and anxiety of comparing yourself to the affair partner
• Establishing relational safety necessary for recovery
• Pursuing your own healing even when your spouse refuses to do the work

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⚠️ Disclaimer: Our resources are curated by experts but do not substitute for professional therapy. If you need personalized help, please seek out a qualified therapist or counselor. If you are in crisis, contact emergency services in your area. Transparency note: Some links above and in the comments may be affiliate links, which allow us to continue providing valuable resources for your recovery journey.

In this honest interview, you get to hear from the other half of Candace. Her and her husband’s story is a raw, heart-wrenching journey through years of recovery. From the pain of multiple D-Days and a "fraudulent recovery" to the miraculous rebuilding of their marriage, they are a powerful testament to the possibility of healing even from the basement of rock bottom. 

Candace and her husband are a testament to the power of healing in the community. It wasn’t just the information that changed their course but the relationships that came alongside them. If you’ve been missing that critical piece of community, consider joining EMS Online for couples, Hope For Healing for unfaithful spouses, and Harboring Hope for betrayed spouses – all three courses provided critical components of community that were needed to move forward.

‼️ Take the FREE Affair Analyzer: Understand your situation

🥾 Sign up for the FREE First Steps Bootcamp: Take the first step to heal

👥 Explore Our Courses: Get the support you need to recover

📞 +1 (737) 227-5014 Share a question for future episodes

⚠️ Disclaimer: Our resources are curated by experts but do not substitute for professional therapy. If you need personalized help, please seek out a qualified therapist or counselor. If you are in crisis, contact emergency services in your area. Transparency note: Some links above and in the comments may be affiliate links, which allow us to continue providing valuable resources for your recovery journey.

In Episode 8, we confront one of the most destructive forces in post-infidelity healing: shame. Our expert therapists break down the critical difference between guilt (“I did something bad”) and shame (“I am bad”). No matter what drives your intrusive "I'm not enough" thoughts, this episode provides handles to begin bringing shame into the light.

• We tackle raw listener questions about how to move past the dishonor betrayed spouses experience after discovery
• We discern what to do when shame leads to years of lying, and how to silence the internal voices that keep your recovery in the dark
• We explore how to transition from the paralysis of shame into the transformative power of remorse

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⚠️ Disclaimer: Our resources are curated by experts but do not substitute for professional therapy. If you need personalized help, please seek out a qualified therapist or counselor. If you are in crisis, contact emergency services in your area. Transparency note: Some links above and in the comments may be affiliate links, which allow us to continue providing valuable resources for your recovery journey.

Is an emotional affair really "cheating"? Why does "limerence" feel so impossible to break compared to a one-night stand? Does porn count as infidelity? While all of our situations are different, the devastation of betrayal is universal and our experts explain why correctly identifying the type of affair is critical for creating an effective recovery roadmap.

• Learn about the distinct differences between Emotional Affairs, One-Night Stands, Love Addiction, Sexual Addiction and the often misunderstood concept of Limerence. 
• Discover why the pain is universal regardless of the type of infidelity
• Hear from real listener-submitted questions that can help you discern your way forward.

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‼️ Take the FREE Affair Analyzer: Understand your situation

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⚠️ Disclaimer: Our resources are curated by experts but do not substitute for professional therapy. If you need personalized help, please seek out a qualified therapist or counselor. If you are in crisis, contact emergency services in your area. Transparency note: Some links above and in the comments may be affiliate links, which allow us to continue providing valuable resources for your recovery journey.

What do you do when the road to recovery takes a tragic, irreversible turn? In this raw and deeply moving interview, Tara shares a personal journey that defies the typical narrative of reconciliation. Her story is not just about the trauma of infidelity but is also a testament to the resilience of the human spirit in the face of absolute darkness. Whether you are approaching a storm, standing in the midst of it, or beginning to see light on the other side, we believe her story will bring hope to everyone who listens.

If you’re ready to take on the mentality of the buffalo and head into the storm, don’t go it alone. Find support and lean on the courage of others through Hope For Healing (for unfaithful spouses) and Harboring Hope (for betrayed spouses).

If you or a loved one are experiencing suicidal thoughts,  we urge you to reach out to the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by texting or dialing 988 if you live in the US. For our international audience, you can find crisis resources in your area through the website findahelpline.com.

‼️ Take the FREE Affair Analyzer: Understand your situation

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📞 +1 (737) 227-5014 Share a question for future episodes

⚠️ Disclaimer: Our resources are curated by experts but do not substitute for professional therapy. If you need personalized help, please seek out a qualified therapist or counselor. If you are in crisis, contact emergency services in your area. Transparency note: Some links above and in the comments may be affiliate links, which allow us to continue providing valuable resources for your recovery journey.

In Episode 6, we explore a question that rattles in the hearts of so many reeling from the pain of infidelity: Is it truly possible to rebuild trust that has been shattered? Whether you are a betrayed partner struggling with the fear of being hurt again or an unfaithful spouse trying to create a sense of safety, this conversation provides a practical roadmap for discovering what trust looks like moving forward.

• Learn about the three essential rebuilding blocks when trust feels out of reach—honesty, safety, and consistency
• Hear difficult listener questions on how to gauge real remorse and what to do when an unfaithful spouse expects trust too soon
• Discern how to identify when it is no longer safe to stay

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⚠️ Disclaimer: Our resources are curated by experts but do not substitute for professional therapy. If you need personalized help, please seek out a qualified therapist or counselor. If you are in crisis, contact emergency services in your area. Transparency note: Some links above and in the comments may be affiliate links, which allow us to continue providing valuable resources for your recovery journey.

Having sex again after an affair – a vulnerable yet critical topic to explore in what it means to genuinely heal. Whether you are unsure of reengaging sexually, experiencing what is called "hysterical bonding" or feeling stuck after a failed attempt at reconnection, this conversation offers wise counsel to help you move forward without shame.

• We discuss how to "rewrite the sexual script" 
• We explore how couples can move past intrusive thoughts in the bedroom
• We redefine the true goal of intimacy

‼️ Take the FREE Affair Analyzer: Understand your situation

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⚠️ Disclaimer: Our resources are curated by experts but do not substitute for professional therapy. If you need personalized help, please seek out a qualified therapist or counselor. If you are in crisis, contact emergency services in your area. Transparency note: Some links above and in the comments may be affiliate links, which allow us to continue providing valuable resources for your recovery journey.

In this episode, we dive into the muddy waters of faith and infidelity, addressing the profound spiritual crisis that occurs when you feel let down and betrayed by God or burdened by your own unfaithfulness. Whether you’re unsure about spirituality as a whole, wrestling with anger toward the divine, or seeking a path to redemption, this conversation explores the deepest questions we face on our journeys toward restoration.

• Hear our experts share their own struggles with faith amidst an affair
• Discover how to navigate spiritual abuse in ministry
• Find help moving past minimizing religious clichés to find genuine healing

‼️ Take the FREE Affair Analyzer: Understand your situation

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⚠️ Disclaimer: Our resources are curated by experts but do not substitute for professional therapy. If you need personalized help, please seek out a qualified therapist or counselor. If you are in crisis, contact emergency services in your area. Transparency note: Some links above and in the comments may be affiliate links, which allow us to continue providing valuable resources for your recovery journey.

It's one of the biggest regrets people have in recovery: how they handled telling their kids, family and friends about the affair. Carrying the secret and shame can feel like a toxic weight, but telling the wrong person can create more trauma for all parties involved. In Episode 3, our expert therapists guide you through this complex question: Who should I talk to about the affair? 

• Find help discerning what to do with that toxic weight.
• Discover a pre-planned strategy to get the support you need. 
• Get insight dealing with kids' responses without causing further damage.

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⚠️ Disclaimer: Our resources are curated by experts but do not substitute for professional therapy. If you need personalized help, please seek out a qualified therapist or counselor. If you are in crisis, contact emergency services in your area. Transparency note: Some links above and in the comments may be affiliate links, which allow us to continue providing valuable resources for your recovery journey.

When infidelity strikes, the question becomes: Can my marriage survive? And if so, how do we save it? In Episode 2, our experts discuss the incredible strength and resilience it takes to fight for a marriage after betrayal. 

• We tackle cultural assumptions like, "once a cheater, always a cheater?" and "If you stay, are you just weak?" 
• Are kids enough of a motivator to stay? 
• Is this marriage worth keeping when one party refuses to change? 
• Can a marriage truly be better after all of this? 

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⚠️ Disclaimer: Our resources are curated by experts but do not substitute for professional therapy. If you need personalized help, please seek out a qualified therapist or counselor. If you are in crisis, contact emergency services in your area. Transparency note: Some links above and in the comments may be affiliate links, which allow us to continue providing valuable resources for your recovery journey.

Are you hurting, confused, and angry after infidelity, feeling like your world has flipped upside down? You are not crazy—you may be suffering from betrayal trauma, a very real and excruciating pain. In the very first episode of The Affair Recovery Podcast, our expert therapists help you finally understand what betrayal trauma is and isn't. 

• Hear real stories from listeners asking if recovery is truly possible
• Learn how to deal with the pain of a "trickle truth"
• Discover what signs and symptoms to look for
• Find your next step to heal the trauma you’re experiencing

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⚠️ Disclaimer: Our resources are curated by experts but do not substitute for professional therapy. If you need personalized help, please seek out a qualified therapist or counselor. If you are in crisis, contact emergency services in your area. Transparency note: Some links above and in the comments may be affiliate links, which allow us to continue providing valuable resources for your recovery journey.

The Affair Recovery Podcast asks listener-submitted questions to our expert therapists who provide the help you need to get unstuck and move forward. While infidelity can be life-shattering, you can get your life back.

‼️ Take the FREE Affair Analyzer: Understand your situation

🥾 Sign up for the FREE First Steps Bootcamp: Take the first step to heal

👥 Explore Our Courses: Get the support you need to recover

📞 +1 (737) 227-5014 Share a question for future episodes

⚠️ Disclaimer: Our resources are curated by experts but do not substitute for professional therapy. If you need personalized help, please seek out a qualified therapist or counselor. If you are in crisis, contact emergency services in your area. Transparency note: Some links above and in the comments may be affiliate links, which allow us to continue providing valuable resources for your recovery journey.