Explore every episode of the podcast The Adult Chair Podcast with Michelle Chalfant
| Title | Pub. Date | Duration | |
|---|---|---|---|
| 423: Healing Through Tantra | 12 Sep 2024 | 00:46:33 | |
Note: This episode contains adult topics and has explicit content. Ready to unlock the secrets of Tantra? This episode is a game-changer! We have the amazing Kimberly Coffin with us, a certified trauma-informed sex, love, and relationship teacher. Trust me, she's here to blow your mind about what Tantra truly is! We dive deep into how Tantra intertwines with meditation, breathwork, and inner child work. Think of it as a holistic approach that aligns perfectly with The Adult Chair model to promote emotional well-being and healing. Kimberly breaks down practical tantric techniques to help women combat societal conditioning and body image issues, making it easier to reconnect with your body and rediscover everyday joy. Kimberly also sheds light on Kundalini energy and conscious sexuality, explaining how these practices can elevate your life in unexpected ways. And if you've ever been curious about how Tantra can help heal trauma, especially sexual trauma, you're in for some revelations. Don't miss this enriching conversation — it's packed with wisdom, practical tips, and personal stories that will inspire you to embrace pleasure in all its forms. In this episode, you will hear:
Website: https://getyoursexyback.ca/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/get_your_sexy_back_coach/ Get your sexy back podcast: https://getyoursexyback.ca/get-your-sexy-back-podcast%f0%9f%8e%99/
Greenchef.com/adultclass 50% off your first box + 50 FREE credits with ClassPass.
Membership: The Academy of Awakening
The Adult Chair® Website
Membership: The Academy of Awakening
https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant
https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/
YouTube https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant
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| 422: Mastering Relationship Skills with Dr. Stan Tatkin | 05 Sep 2024 | 00:58:29 | |
Could your relationship benefit from a deeper connection? Join us for a conversation with Dr. Stan Tatkin, co-founder of the PACT Institute and renowned for his psychobiological approach to couple therapy. We explore his inclusive approach to modern relationship structures. Dr. Tatkin reveals his secrets for maintaining excitement in long-term relationships and offers advice on living authentically, fostering self-love, and operating from your adult mindset. Ever wondered why you’re attracted to certain people? Dr. Tatkin explains the fascinating neurobiological roots behind our unconscious attraction to partners who mirror our emotional upbringing. We discuss the crucial role of presence, attention, and curiosity in sustaining intimacy beyond the initial spark. Discover how shared purpose and mutual protection are the cornerstones of a thriving partnership. Dr. Tatkin emphasizes the "couple bubble" concept, where mutual support and unwavering commitment are paramount. We explore the importance of aligning values, setting mutual goals, and maintaining a cooperative dynamic to ensure a fulfilling and sustainable relationship. In this episode, you will hear:
https://courses.theadultchair.com/the-academy-of-awakening https://www.thepactinstitute.com MORE ADULT CHAIR
The Adult Chair® Website
Membership: The Academy of Awakening
https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant
https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/
YouTube https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant
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| 413: 5 Ways To Navigate a Relationship That Feels Stuck (replay) | 04 Jul 2024 | 00:20:17 | |
There’s someone in your life you love, but the relationship just isn’t working. Despite your best efforts to communicate and try to work things out, nothing is changing. This person seems totally uninterested in listening to you or working on the relationship. You’ve hit a wall, and the relationship feels stuck. This can be so maddening, frustrating, disappointing and painful! You wouldn’t be trying to make it work if you didn’t care for this person, but you can’t make them change…and you’re hurting in the meantime. I hear from listeners all the time who find themselves in this situation, with a romantic partner, a friend, a family member or a colleague. They want to know: How do you approach this with an Adult Chair perspective…not just for the relationship, but for yourself? In this episode, I’m giving you five steps to take when you feel stuck or at an impasse with someone in your life. These are all things YOU have the power to do, no matter the other person’s response, and they will help you find new clarity, perspective and ideas for navigating this situation. Listen to discover:
Relationships can be beautiful, hard and everything in between. It’s ok – and even expected – that certain people will come and go throughout our lives. Perhaps you’ve learned what you’re meant to learn and it’s time to let go, or perhaps there’s something for your soul to learn by working through this difficult process together. Whether you want to keep fighting for a relationship or you know it’s time to end it, the steps in this episode will help you stay in your Adult Chair, control what you can, let go of what you can’t and take care of YOU, so you can live with peace and hope no matter what happens with the relationship.
“Have you considered that the reason that you’re with this person…is because you needed to learn, grow, transform or find something about yourself?” - Michelle Chalfant
“Acceptance and liking are two very different things.” - Michelle Chalfant
“When you’re able to accept somebody for who they are, there’s almost like a release that happens. There’s a detachment that happens.” - Michelle Chalfant
“People are not going to change until they’re ready and willing to change.” - Michelle Chalfant
“Just because the relationship needs to be shifted, it doesn’t mean it has to end.” - Michelle Chalfant
“We cannot go around our pain. We go through our pain, and we are stronger on the other side.” - Michelle Chalfant
“Emotions are meant to be experienced, felt and processed, or metabolized, through the body and the energy field. And if we don’t build a story around what we’re feeling…those emotions move through us.” - Michelle Chalfant
“Boundaries are not confrontational.” - Michelle Chalfant
“To let go is to truly detach from [the] outcome, and we let go of our expectations as well.” - Michelle Chalfant
“It’s beautiful when we are able to look at our lives and ask, ‘What do I need?’” - Michelle Chalfant
“Relationships can be beautiful, but they can also be really hard…and they can also be somewhere in the middle.” - Michelle Chalfant MORE ADULT CHAIR
The Adult Chair® Website
https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant
https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/
YouTube | |||
| 323: Summer Series: Overcoming Trauma and Limiting Beliefs with Michael Unbroken | 14 Jul 2022 | 00:41:45 | |
We all have limiting beliefs that hold us back in life. But what if you’ve experienced significant trauma as well? How do you distinguish between a trauma response and limiting or negative thinking? How do you find the power to heal when things have happened that were out of your control?
My guest today, Michael Unbroken, has an intense and powerful story of overcoming unspeakable trauma, growing up with abuse, addiction and homelessness. At one point, he wanted to end his own life. But he made a decision to live, and in doing so, discovered that the only path forward started within.
In this incredible conversation, Michael shares how he was able to break the cycle of trauma in his life and consciously choose a different path for himself. This is an inspiring and vulnerable conversation that will challenge you to take ownership of your life, treat yourself with grace and kindness and live life fully! Listen to discover:
Transforming limiting beliefs starts with taking ownership of the way we think about life, no matter what we’ve been through. What happened to us is not our fault, but it does become our job to take responsibility for it and make a choice to create the healthy, whole life we want to live. We all have the power to do this, and I hope this episode inspires you to find everything that’s possible for you.
“It’s never going to be one thing that changes your life.” - Michael Unbroken
“What you think becomes what you speak. What you speak becomes your actions, and your actions become your reality.” - Michael Unbroken
“If we’re sitting waiting for someone to rescue us, we’re in the seat of the victim.” - Michelle Chalfant
“We have to create different. We have to create better. If we want a different life, we have to make different choices.” - Michelle Chalfant
“It will change everything about the fabric of your experience of this life when you’re willing to be real.” - Michael Unbroken
LINKS & RESOURCES Michael Unbroken Website https://www.thinkunbroken.com/
Michael Unbroken Podcast https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/
Michael Unbroken Instagram https://www.instagram.com/michaelunbroken/
Michael Unbroken Facebook https://www.facebook.com/MichaelUnbroken/
MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website
The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/
The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification
STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/
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| 322: Summer Series 1: Narcissistic Abuse Explained with Caroline Strawson | 07 Jul 2022 | 01:09:39 | |
Sometimes, it takes losing everything you know to start over and begin the journey of healing.
Caroline Strawson is an internationally recognized trauma-informed therapist and coach who helps her clients recover from narcissistic abuse and complex PTSD and create thriving lives. Her journey began with her own story of loss when, in a very short period of time, her mother passed away, her narcissistic husband left her and their two young children and she discovered he had gotten them into $100,000 of debt, leading to the loss of her home and the life she had built.
Facing PTSD, anxiety, depression, self-harm, guilt and shame, Caroline turned inward and took a close look at herself, her life and her relationships – and has since become a leader in trauma-informed recovery and healing from abuse.
In this conversation, Caroline shares her story of overcoming narcissistic abuse, how she finally recognized the abuse and how she began the journey of healing. She offers deep insights into how childhood wounding forms, how we develop “protector parts” and how those parts can lead to struggles like codependency and narcissism. She is a wealth of knowledge on trauma, how we get stuck in life, and how to move forward.
Listen to discover:
Whether you’ve been in a relationship with a narcissist or not, you will get SO much out of this episode and gain a greater understanding of why you do what you do, what is going on in your brain in relation to trauma, and how to heal your wounding so you can form healthier relationships with self and others.
"Initially I was waiting for that epiphany of him changing to then be ok for me to move forward. And of course, that isn't the case. Because we can't change anybody." - Caroline Strawson "Trauma isn't a person. It's not an event. It's what I feel and what I'm saying to myself about those events." - Caroline Strawson "Our system all of the time is working to keep us safe, keep us alive, protect us, and move us away from the biggest perceived pain.” - Caroline Strawson "No narcissist is born. They are created from their childhood." - Caroline Strawson "The codependent is giving, giving, giving trying to soothe their self-worthiness wounds. The narcissist is like, 'Give it to me. I'll take, take, take,’ to soothe their self-worthiness wounds." - Caroline Strawson "I think of narcissism on a scale." - Michelle Chalfant "When we're in these relationships, our reality is so distorted. To build self-worth is to then start seeing reality much clearer." - Michelle Chalfant "Grounding and getting all five senses online also helps us with our reality. We stop doubting ourselves." - Michelle Chalfant
LINKS & RESOURCES Caroline Strawson Website https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Caroline Strawson Facebook https://www.facebook.com/carolinestrawson/
Caroline Strawson Instagram https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
“Divorce Became My Superpower” (Caroline Strawson Book) https://www.amazon.com/Divorce-Became-Superpower-Caroline-Strawson/dp/1726255549
MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website
The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/
The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification
STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/
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| 321: From Depression to Inspiration with Ione Butler | 30 Jun 2022 | 00:36:07 | |
It can be difficult to stay positive in today’s world. Not only do we all have an inner critic trying to send negative self-talk our way, but with 24-hour news coming at us, social media, polarization, and fear and anger in the world, it is so easy to get pulled into energy that doesn’t serve us or uplift us. It’s no wonder that so many of us struggle with mental health, anxiety, and depression. Ione Butler also struggled with depression most of her life and went on a self-healing journey to learn how to overcome it. On her journey, she realized how much negativity she was seeing in the world around her and how bad it was making her feel, so she went on a mission to start a content platform with only uplifting content. The standard for what makes it onto the platform is simply, “Does it make you feel good?” Learning to get really conscious about what she consumed, finding passion and joy in the everyday moments, and building healthy daily habits transformed Ione’s depression, and on today’s show, she shares how she did it. This episode is full of practical, grounded, accessible tips (like exercise and watching social media intake) that we ALL can use to cultivate a lifestyle of mental and emotional well-being. Listen to discover: - The tools that helped pull her out of depression - The ways social media affects our inner well-being - Post-traumatic growth and how we can turn trauma into positive change - How to find passion and joy in the day to day - Tips for overcoming depression and ruminating thoughts - The power of "reverse engineering" your life Whether you’re struggling with anxiety and depression or simply feeling weighed down by the state of the world around you, remember that you are what you consume and you have the power to choose things that nourish you mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
"The biggest change was recognizing those thoughts aren't true. I can change those thoughts." - Ione Butler
"We are what we consume...Everything we take in has an impact." - Ione Butler
"I think we all need to pause and ask ourselves, 'How does it make you feel?'" - Michelle Chalfant
"Our stories are so powerful...However, when we get stuck in them, we just spin in circles." - Michelle Chalfant
"Recognizing the impact the thoughts were having and changing the thoughts was a big one." - Ione Butler
"Every little bit helps, and it changes us." - Michelle Chalfant
"Everything begins with a thought. And the question is, "Are you going to believe that thought or not?'" - Michelle Chalfant
"Our mind is a tool." - Ione Butler
LINKS & RESOURCES Ione Butler Website
Uplifting Content Website
"Uplifting Stories" (Ione Butler book) https://www.amazon.com/Uplifting-Stories-Tales-Inspire-Every/dp/1982138238
"The Power of Now" https://www.amazon.com/Power-Now-Guide-Spiritual-Enlightenment/dp/1577314808
The Adult Chair® Private Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/
MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website
The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/
The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification
STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/
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| 320: How to Become Happier with Gretchen Rubin | 23 Jun 2022 | 01:00:10 | |
Whether it’s eating healthier, getting exercise, starting a meditation practice or staying socially connected, figuring out what to do to be happy might be simple – but actually doing these things and living in a way that lets us experience happiness is much harder. When we know there are things we can do that will make us healthier and happier, why do we struggle to actually do them? Why do we get caught in a cycle of chasing happiness instead of choosing joy, even when we know better? This is what Gretchen Rubin wanted to understand when she began studying happiness and why people form the habits they do. It turns out that it has everything to do with how we relate to expectations. Gretchen discovered that there are four different “tendencies” that tell us how different people approach habits and expectations – whether we question expectations, comply with expectations, rebel against expectations or uphold them from within. We are born with our tendency and there’s no right or wrong way to be, but our ability to pursue happiness and form habits is directly connected to which tendency we’re wired with. In this episode, Gretchen describes each of the four tendencies in detail and ways to work with your type to go after the life you want. She also talks about habit formation and the different approaches to starting a new habit, so you can figure out which one works best for you! This is so fascinating and has major implications for how we structure our lives, how we work with each other in business and relationships and so much more! Listen to discover:
Though it's true that everyone is different in terms of what makes us happy, we're also all different in how we get to the things that make us happy. When we understand our wiring, we can overcome resistance and set ourselves up to achieve the life we want, in a way that is uniquely ours. "Our physical experience is always going to color our emotional experience." - Gretchen Rubin
"The key to happiness is relationships." - Gretchen Rubin
"Don't suit other people. Suit yourself." - Gretchen Rubin
"I'm a big believer in the genetic roots of personality." - Gretchen Rubin
"We can work with each other to help us all achieve our aims, but sometimes we have to provide a different way from what would work for us." - Gretchen Rubin
"Your communication style would change once you know this." - Michelle Chalfant
"Happier people are more interested in the problems of the world." - Gretchen Rubin
"You have to take care of yourself. You have to put yourself first." - Michelle Chalfant
"When you're not indulging in a temptation, it goes away." - Gretchen Rubin
LINKS & RESOURCES Gretchen Rubin Website
Happier Podcast (Gretchen Rubin podcast) https://gretchenrubin.com/podcasts/
Gretchen Rubin Books https://gretchenrubin.com/books/
The Four Tendencies Quiz https://gretchenrubin.com/fourtendencies
The Happier App https://the-happiness-project.com/pages/happier-app
Gretchen Rubin Facebook https://www.facebook.com/GretchenRubin
Gretchen Rubin Instagram https://www.instagram.com/gretchenrubin/
Gretchen Rubin LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/gretchenrubin
Adult Chair® Coaches https://theadultchair.com/coaches/
MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website
The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/
The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification
STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/
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| 319: The "How Tos" of Deep Connection with Graham Chalfant | 16 Jun 2022 | 00:43:50 | |
We live in a world that’s both more connected and more disconnected than ever. With things like Zoom, FaceTime, and social media, we can get in touch with others with the click of a button. But we also have an epidemic of loneliness. We scroll by each other without really engaging with each other. Even in our most intimate relationships, we can easily find ourselves co-existing without connecting at the heart level. The busyness of our world will naturally cause us to drift apart from each other without intentional effort, so a few years ago, my husband and I started building small “rituals of connection” into our week. These are moments – like our weekend coffee chats – that we’ve set aside to be fully present with each other and share more vulnerably, authentically, and from the heart. During one of our recent coffee chats, we had a beautiful conversation about how we can create more connection in our relationships with each other and others, and with Graham’s permission, I recorded our conversation to share with you all. In this conversation, we talk about the power of intentional connection, how important true connection is for maintaining trust and happiness in relationships, and how you can build moments of connection into a busy schedule. Graham shares one of his favorite tools to take a conversation deeper and how this tool can help people who might feel threatened by intimacy begin to flex their vulnerability muscles and move into a deeper relationship with their partner. Listen to discover:
It’s so easy to work and live alongside others but never really connect. If you’ve ever found yourself in a relationship or surrounded by people but still feeling lonely, this is why! But with small, intentional steps, we can totally transform the nature of our relationships and find those soul connections we’re all looking for. This episode gives an inside look into how two normal, busy people are practicing this together, and I hope it encourages you to start this journey with the ones you love – friends, family, partners, anyone! "Drop inside and...drop below the chin. Get curious about what's going on in the body." - Michelle Chalfant
"If you can't identify [the emotion], just get the sense of what's going on in your body and share that." - Michelle Chalfant
"Expressing that is easy for everybody, and it's a great opening to deeper conversations." - Graham Chalfant
"If we as humans had ideas about the range of emotions that we can feel, we would say more than, 'I'm mad, sad, glad, afraid or ashamed.'" - Michelle Chalfant
"We have so many emotions we can feel, but we're not brought up to feel more emotions than those typical five." - Michelle Chalfant
"See if you can't sit down with the person in your life and just touch base with a couple words." - Graham Chalfant
"It would be a huge improvement for most couples and people in relationships to touch base once a day or a couple times a week." - Graham Chalfant
"We're getting in the habit of exchanging energy in this way." - Michelle Chalfant
"You want to always own your experience...that is a much more open way of inviting in that other person to discuss it versus putting that person in defense." - Michelle Chalfant
"Swooping in and fixing when someone feels bad is the worst thing that you can do for a relationship." - Michelle Chalfant
LINKS & RESOURCES Share Your Love: Review The Adult Chair® Podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-adult-chair/id941317634?mt=2&ign-mpt=uo%3D4
MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website
The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/
The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification
STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/
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| 318: Unlock Your Body's Ability to Heal with Dr. Kulreet Chaudhary | 09 Jun 2022 | 01:07:06 | |
As human beings, we are hardwired to heal. Think about it: if you get a cut or a scrape, your body naturally repairs itself. If you get a cold or flu, your immune system kicks in to fight off the invader and keep you healthy.
Healing is our birthright…so if we’re experiencing disease, it’s a sign that something is blocking our natural ability to heal.
Dr. Kulreet Chaudhary is a neurologist and Ayurvedic medicine expert who looks at healing through the lens of energy and harmony, bringing the mind, body, and soul into balance so the body can do what it was designed to do: heal itself.
Though the cause of disease can be physical, such as a toxin, or emotional, such as unprocessed trauma, the key isn’t to treat symptoms but to go in and remove the blocks in our energy so healing can once again flow through the body.
Dr. Chaudhary calls this “quantum biology,” using energy, sound, and frequency (since we are made of energy after all) to change our bodies at the cellular level.
In this absolutely fascinating episode, Dr. Chaudhary talks about the science of Ayurveda, the emotional connection to chronic disease, why sound and frequency has such power to heal and how we can flip the script on how we think about health and wholeness in today’s world.
Listen to discover:
Because of her neurology background, Dr. Chaudhary has an amazing ability to take these ancient concepts and ground them in science, helping us bring these beautiful ancient practices into our modern world.
This show gives me so much hope for the future and reminds me why the work we’re doing in The Adult Chair® is so powerful: because healing our trauma changes us at the cellular level.
“It just woke me up to a way of integrating the view of the body and mind to create health in a much more efficient way.” - Dr. Kulreet Chaudhary
"That's how we're supposed to live: in harmony and balance with everything." - Michelle Chalfant
"This was an approach to living where health was the natural repercussion of living with consciousness about our relationship with the planet and our relationship with each other." - Dr. Kulreet Chaudhary
"When you understand who you really are and when you get to that part of union with nature, the laws of nature change." - Dr. Kulreet Chaudhary
"If we're constantly healing, then what's keeping us sick?" - Dr. Kulreet Chaudhary
"Our normal set point is of excellent health." - Michelle Chalfant
"In my experience, anything that has been chronic over time has a psychological component." - Dr. Kulreet Chaudhary
"The body is a map to the mind." - Dr. Kulreet Chaudhary
"Our cells are singing...and when we become diseased, they change their tune." - Dr. Kulreet Chaudhary
"The chakra system is the highway where all of these energetic systems suddenly collide." - Dr. Kulreet Chaudhary
"The sounds that you yourself make in terms of your thoughts, the words that you speak, are shaping your health." - Dr. Kulreet Chaudhary
LINKS & RESOURCES Dr. Kulreet Chaudhary Website https://drkulreetchaudhary.com/
"Sound Medicine" (Dr. Kulreet Chaudhary book) https://www.amazon.com/dp/0062867334
Healthy Directions https://www.healthydirections.com/dr-kulreet-chaudhary
Chakra Mantra Demo starts at 53:45 in the episode
The Adult Chair® Membership (June Theme: Grounding) https://theadultchair.com/membership/
MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website
The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/
The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification
STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/
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| 317: How to Manifest Anything with Dr. Joe Vitale | 02 Jun 2022 | 01:02:01 | |
Whether you love manifesting or you’re still a little skeptical, I want you to consider one thing: if the Law of Attraction really is a law of nature, like gravity, is it possible that it is working in your life whether you know it or not?
Is it possible that your unconscious beliefs are shaping your reality in ways you don’t realize – or want – simply because you haven’t chosen another way of thinking?
This was the reality of Dr. Joe Vitale’s life when he was homeless and living on the floor of the Dallas library. A lifelong learner with a love for books, he would spend hours in the self-development section, trying to figure out what was keeping him stuck in life. He realized he was carrying a tremendous amount of limiting beliefs, including the belief that he needed to suffer to be successful, and these beliefs were the very reason he was in the circumstances he was in.
As he changed his beliefs, he changed his entire life from his finances to his career, and today he’s a wildly successful author, actor, musician and guru on the Law of Attraction – and I was so honored to speak with him on today’s show.
Dr. Joe helps explain the Law of Attraction and how it works on a practical level, showing how what we focus on is what we get, and walks us through a beautiful Hawaiian process for healing ourselves and those around us. I asked him all the tough questions and got all of the answers for you, so you can look at this concept through a new lens and start creating the life you want!
Listen to discover:
At the end of the day, the Law of Attraction is based on the idea that we see and get more of what we focus on. Wouldn’t you rather focus on love than on fear or hate, no matter what – and especially if doing so was directly connected to the reality you were living? This is an awesome show to help you get started on that path and begin to see that miracles ARE possible! “The inner work is what got me here.” - Dr. Joe Vitale
“In order to change the outside reality, you gotta go inside.” - Michelle Chalfant
“You’re not purposely, consciously choosing most of these beliefs. Most of them you’ve absorbed.” - Dr. Joe Vitale
“The ‘how’ is the number one thing that stops people.” - Dr. Joe Vitale
"Fear and hate are two of the most powerful manifesting emotions that there are." - Dr. Joe Vitale
"Emotion is fire for creating what you want." - Dr. Joe Vitale
"The law of attraction is how your brain works. It is bringing to you what you're focused on." - Dr. Joe Vitale
“I love working with the unconscious mind because that is where, to me, the magic is." - MIchelle Chalfant
“It seems to me the only limits we have are mental constructs.” - Dr. Joe Vitale
LINKS & RESOURCES
Dr. Joe Vitale Website
Zero Limits Living (Joe Vitale TV Show) https://zerolimitslivingtv.com/
“Zero Limits” (one of many Joe Vitale books) https://www.amazon.com/Zero-Limits-Secret-Hawaiian-System/dp/0470402563
“Homeless to Billionaire” (Andres Pira with Dr. Joe Vitale book) https://www.amazon.com/Homeless-Billionaire-Principles-Attraction-Opportunity/dp/1946633860
The Adult Chair® Membership (June theme: Grounding) https://theadultchair.com/membership/
MORE ADULT CHAIR
The Adult Chair® Website
The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/
The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification
STAY CONNECTED
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ | |||
| 316: Healing with Psychedelics with Paul Austin | 26 May 2022 | 00:51:29 | |
I’m sure we all have an image that comes into our minds when we think about psychedelics – probably something related to hippies, jam bands, and wild colors and shapes. But what if there’s something more to these substances? What if they could be powerful tools for healing? I know, I know: when I first heard people ask that question, I was skeptical too. I thought of psychedelics as drugs, and I definitely don’t advocate for drug use or numbing out instead of feeling emotions. But when I started researching the history of psychedelics and how they are being used in therapeutic settings, I began to open my mind to their possibilities, and I invite you to approach this episode with an open mind as well. My guest today, Paul Austin, is a young entrepreneur leading the charge on making responsible, therapeutic use of psychedelics more understood and accepted. As Paul explains in the episode, the reason psychedelics have such healing potential is that they make the unconscious mind manifest, so we can see our shadow beliefs and understand the "why" behind some of the patterns in our lives. They can help us process trauma without activating the fear response in the brain and help us see life from a new perspective, which can heal anxiety, depression, PTSD and other issues at the source. Paul does an amazing job breaking down the most common psychedelics, exactly how they work in the brain and what the experience is like with each one. We talk about the importance of intention, environment, and dosage (we are NOT advocating for using these at, say, Bonnaroo) and why it's essential to have a therapist with you in the experience.
Listen to discover:
Psychedelics are an intriguing topic that I actually get asked about a lot, and I hope you guys enjoy this research-driven episode that just might change your mind about these powerful plant medicines. "The word 'psychedelic' literally means 'mind manifesting.'" - Paul Austin
"Psychedelics are phenomenal ways that we can heal unknown aspects of self." - Michelle Chalfant
"There's a way to do this appropriately and consciously and in a healthy way." - Michelle Chalfant
"What ketamine does neurologically, or to the brain if you will, is that it does a phenomenal job of dissolving the ego." - Paul Austin
"A lot of these mental health conditions, whether it's anxiety, depression or OCD, are caused by rigidity in the brain." - Paul Austin
"That inner healing intelligence that's so often shut down, psychedelics often help to bring that to the forefront." - Paul Austin
"We look at things one way. And with a psychedelic, you get to look at it from a higher perspective and from a different perspective." - Michelle Chalfant
"Oftentimes the healing potential from psilocybin is because you're basically facing your trauma head on." - Paul Austin
"Having someone to help you integrate is hugely important. You have to have a therapist or a guide or someone that sits with you." - Michelle Chaflant
LINKS & RESOURCES The Third Wave (Paul Austin Company)
Paul Austin Website
Paul Austin Instagram https://www.instagram.com/paulaustin3w/
Paul Austin Twitter https://twitter.com/PaulAustin3w
Episode #228: Breakthrough Treatments For Anxiety, Depression And Stress with Dr. David Rabin https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/228/
Fantastic Fungi https://fantasticfungi.com/watch/
"A Really Good Day" https://www.amazon.com/Really-Good-Day-Microdosing-Difference/dp/1664458972
Adult Chair® Coaches https://theadultchair.com/coaches/
MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website
The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/
The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification
STAY CONNECTED
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ | |||
| 315: Emotional Mastery with Dr. Joan Rosenberg | 19 May 2022 | 00:59:42 | |
We all experience emotions, but most of us don’t really understand what emotions are. These feelings can drastically alter our day, our life and our experience in the world, yet they’re intangible and often messy and confusing. It’s no wonder many of us try to avoid them altogether.
Well, get ready to have your mind blown and to see emotions in a whole new light in this brilliant episode with Dr. Joan Rosenberg. Dr. Rosenberg began her study of emotions when she was trying to figure out what made some people confident in life, and her finding was surprising: confidence didn’t just come from a sense of self-esteem but from our ability to handle uncomfortable emotions.
As she dug deeper into the human emotional experience, she uncovered a world of surprises around our understanding of emotions and how we can better process, experience and master our emotions.
We talked about why emotions are so uncomfortable for us (it’s not why you think), what a compliment really is and why it matters so much, what drives fear, anxiety and grief, our fears around emotions and how we get stuck in emotion. Dr. Joan also shares her formula for feeling, experiencing and expressing the eight core emotions in an authentic way that helps them truly move through us.
Listen to discover:
As much as I talk about emotions, I was still left speechless more than once in this episode as Dr. Rosenberg got to the heart of what is really beneath certain emotions and my perspective was shifted in so many ways. This is a truly empowering show that will help you live a more balanced and confident life.
“We need to learn as humans how to feel our emotions.” - Michelle Chalfant
“The ability or the capacity to handle unpleasant feelings really is the foundation of confidence.” - Dr Joan Rosenberg
“I think of confidence as the deep sense that you can handle the emotional outcome of whatever you face or whatever you pursue.” - Dr. Joan Rosenberg
"We're one interconnected whole...The brain is always feeding information to the body, and the body is always feeding information to the brain." Dr. Joan Rosenberg
"It comes down to handling short-lived bodily sensation waves." - Dr. Joan Rosenberg
"100% of the time that sensation morphs and vanishes if they stay with it." - Michelle Chalfant
"We metabolize feeling by feeling it and expressing it." - Dr. Joan Rosenberg
"If you want to stop your ruminating thoughts, you have to feel the emotion that's underneath the rumination." - Michelle Chalfant
"I think of the ability to speak up as the superglue to confidence." - Dr. Joan Rosenberg
"A compliment is a reflection of you back to you." - Dr. Joan Rosenberg
"What looks like arrogance is insecurity." - Dr. Joan Rosenberg
"Disguised grief is the gap between what we wanted, what we needed, what we felt we deserved and what we really got." - Dr. Joan Rosenberg
LINKS & RESOURCES Dr. Joan Rosenberg
“90 Seconds to a Life You Love” (Dr. Joan Rosenberg book) https://www.amazon.com/Seconds-Life-You-Love-Authenticity/dp/1478999764
Dr. Joan Rosenberg TED Talk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EKy19WzkPxE
MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website
The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/
The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification
STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/
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| 314: Healing our Abandonment Wound with Susan Anderson | 12 May 2022 | 00:52:13 | |
Rejection is one of the greatest fears we have as humans. Even simple rejections like not making the team or being chosen for a job – things we know aren’t personal – still sting deeply. Why does rejection seem to hit at the core of who we are? Susan Anderson began asking this question when she went through a personal experience of abandonment. The love of her life left her suddenly for another woman, and although she was a practicing psychotherapist with immense knowledge of the human mind, she still found herself in emotional crisis and doubting herself and her worthiness. As she dug more into this topic, she discovered that we as humans have a primal abandonment wound – a universal experience that begins when we are born and go from deep union and connection with our mother to a feeling of being separate. This creates deep shame and causes us to search for belonging and worthiness throughout our lives. And this is why rejection hurts so much: it triggers this deep fear that we might not belong and we might not be worthy. In this fascinating and important episode, Susan shares her discoveries on the topic of abandonment, why we experience it the ways we do and how a whole host of other issues in our lives can stem from this wound. We discussed why healing abandonment trauma looks different from healing other traumas, the five stages of healing and the tools (all of which are part of The Adult Chair® model) that can heal it.
Listen to discover:
The primal wound of abandonment is also an opportunity for primal healing. When we learn to love and accept ourselves as worthy and recognize how deeply connected we truly are, we not only heal our abandonment wound, but we can change almost anything in our lives.
"The loneliness is sort of a secondary feeling. The primary is the primal fear and the shame of maybe never being worthy of keeping someone." - Susan Anderson
"The personality itself is a defence against the shame." - Susan Anderson
"When we look at a relationship that ends, it is a retraumatization of what we experienced as a child." - Michelle Chalfant
"The history that leads to a strong reaction in adulthood to abandonment could be very subtle." - Susan Anderson
"You have to take this step, and you go through it...The pain is there, but you go through it, and you get to the other side." - Michelle Chalfant
"Your adult self can now develop an intense, loving, reassuring relationship with your inner child." - Susan Anderson
"It turns this awful emotional crisis that's so painful into an opportunity for something that's probably long overdue, which is self-love." - Susan Anderson
"Doing these steps, you will become an even better, stronger, more self-loving person on the other side of it...even stronger than you were prior to this abandonment wound." - Michelle Chalfant
"The kind of self-love that we're developing is deeper, more mature self-love...the kind of love you give yourself because you respect yourself so much." - Susan Anderson
"We have to stop looking outside of self and turn our attention inward. That's where healing, that's where love, that's where hope, that's where peace, that's where all the things are that we're looking for outside of ourselves." - Michelle Chalfant
"When the adult gets strong and is in command, it limits all of this self-sabotage." - Susan Anderson
LINKS & RESOURCES Susan Anderson Website (all workshops and resources can be found here) https://abandonmentrecovery.com
"The Journey from Abandonment to Healing" (Susan Anderson book) https://www.amazon.com/Journey-Abandonment-Healing-Surviving-Recovering/dp/0425273539
The Adult Chair® Membership (May Theme: How to stop negative thinking) https://theadultchair.com/membership/
MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website
The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/
The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification
STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/
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| 412: Finding Your Life Path and Purpose With Blake Chalfant | 27 Jun 2024 | 00:52:18 | |
Have you ever wondered what it truly means to live a soul-driven life? In this episode, join me and my son, Blake Chalfant, as we dive into the world of soul alignment, self-discovery, and embracing your unique path. We'll explore the ancient wisdom of indigenous cultures, the power of rites of passage, and how modern societal pressures often lead us away from our true essence. Together, Blake and I address the global mental health crisis, discussing the critical link between emotional and physical well-being. We'll share how aligning with your soul's purpose can bring profound peace and fulfillment. Learn to interpret life's signals and navigate various forms of resistance to foster a more meaningful existence. We also touch on the balance of masculine and feminine energies within us, the importance of creating spaces for voicing needs, and the role of parents in nurturing their children's unique paths. Whether you're seeking to reconnect with your soul's purpose or find inspiration to live authentically, this episode provides nuggets of wisdom. In this episode, you will hear:
Blake Chalfant Website https://www.blakechalfant.com/
The Human Experience Podcast https://www.blakechalfant.com/podcast
Greenchef.com/adult50 Use ADULT50 to get 50% off your order + 20% off your next two months!
Use Promo code: Adultchair for 20% at Aquatru.com. MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website
https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant
https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/
YouTube https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant
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| 313: Developing a Soul Practice with Graham Chalfant | 05 May 2022 | 00:36:29 | |
Anyone who knows me knows I LOVE deep conversation, and in this show, I’m letting you in on a beautiful conversation I had with my husband during one of our weekly coffee chats. This was totally unplanned, but as our chat turned into a conversation about the soul, connection and spiritual practice, I felt such important information coming through and hit “record” so all of you could join us in thinking about how to live a more grounded and loving life.
As humans, most of us live from the place of ego. We stay busy to push down our feelings of loneliness and separateness and miss the presence of something bigger that’s in front of us at all times. When we connect into this deeper part of self, we find comfort, inspiration, ideas and unconditional love.
So, how do we do this? I believe it’s through a “soul practice” of stillness. Stillness is different from meditation, which is quieting the mind to observe our thoughts. Stillness, on the other hand, is stopping all the “doing” and chatter of life and tuning into the deeper parts of our being – our soul.
While this might seem like something reserved for the monks or Zen masters, we can ALL make this a part of life – without quitting our jobs, skirting our responsibilities or even really changing our schedule. In this episode, I share what my soul practice looks like and how I work stillness into my day, one minute at a time.
Listen to discover:
True stillness is not ego-driven or another task to cross off our list. It's letting go and just “being” so that something more can come in. When you get to the end of this episode, I challenge you to sit in stillness for just one minute (and I literally mean 60 seconds!) and make space for your soul. It’s the place I’m striving to live from more and more each day. “The soul is never not with us. The human body is a garage for the soul.” - Michelle Chalfant
“The ideas come when I sit in these moments of stillness.” - Michelle Chalfant
“For me at least, and I think many other people, the meditation feels like more doing. So, even though it’s quieting the mind, you’re doing something.” - Graham Chalfant
“Micro-moments of stillness create relaxation in the nervous system.” - Michelle Chalfant
“One of the fastest ways to slow yourself down is to slow your breath down.” - Michelle Chalfant
“The revolutionary part is that this is the “‘not doing.’” - Graham Chalfant
“When sitting in stillness, we are able to connect with that thing that we all have come from.” - Michelle Chalfant
“If you’d stop doing and stop running so far ahead, the comfort’s right here.” - Graham Chalfant
"We're looking for that connection home again, and home is right inside of all of us." - Michelle Chalfant
LINKS & RESOURCES
The Adult Chair® Membership (May Theme: How to stop negative thinking) https://theadultchair.com/membership/
MORE ADULT CHAIR
The Adult Chair® Website
The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/
The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification
STAY CONNECTED
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/
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| 312: Healthy Sexuality, Healing Sexual Trauma and Reclaiming Pleasure with Dr. Holly Richmond | 28 Apr 2022 | 00:42:53 | |
Let’s talk about sex, baby! Our sexuality is a core part of ourselves and the human experience, but for too long, we’ve treated sex as a taboo subject. Well, in this episode, we’re “going there” and hopefully breaking down some walls and shame in the process.
My guest on this episode, Dr. Holly Richmond, is a marriage and family therapist, sex therapist and somatic (body-based) therapist who helps individuals and couples heal trauma and find greater intimacy and connection with themselves and each other. In this episode, we talk about why sexuality (and talking about it) is healthy and necessary and how we can create healthier and more passionate sexual connection, even in long-term relationships.
We also talk about what sexual trauma is (and why it includes more than just assault or abuse), how it affects our sexual development and how we can reclaim our sexual selves and the pleasure we deserve.
Listen to discover:
Sexuality is so much more than the physical relationship we have with another person. It’s our experience of passion in the world (“eroticism” refers to our life force, not just our body), and it tells us so much about ourselves. This is why it’s so important to stay connected to this part of ourselves no matter our relationship status, if we’re young and in love or if we have been with our person for years. I hope this episode gives you the freedom to acknowledge, love and prioritize this part of yourself and to live a more passionate and embodied life. “The seat of human sexuality, the seat of desire is novelty.” - Dr. Holly Richmond
“A lot of western culture, sex and shame go hand in hand.” - Dr. Holly Richmond
“Sexual trauma is any experience that feels violating in a sexual way.” - Dr. Holly Richmond
“If someone is being sexually coercive, that is a sexual trauma for some people.” - Dr. Holly Richmond
“We have to take the whole construct of ourselves into the equation.” - Dr. Holly Richmond
“We’re taught to judge the body.” - Michelle Chalfant
“Eroticism means life force.” - Dr. Holly Richmond
“So many of us suffer in silence, and we need to start talking about this. Sex is not a bad word.” - Michelle Chalfant
LINKS & RESOURCES
Dr. Holly Richmond Website
Dr. Holly Richmond Facebook https://m.facebook.com/DrHollyRichmond
Dr. Holly Richmond Instagram https://www.instagram.com/drhollyrichmond/
“Reclaiming Pleasure” (Dr. Holly Richmond book) https://www.reclaimingyourpleasure.com
Dr. Holly Richmond Course https://www.reclaimingyourpleasure.com
Share Your Love: Review The Adult Chair® Podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-adult-chair/id941317634?mt=2&ign-mpt=uo%3D4
MORE ADULT CHAIR
The Adult Chair® Website
The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/
The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification
STAY CONNECTED
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ | |||
| 311: How to Overcome Negative Self-Talk, Negative Beliefs and Addiction with Brian Pennie | 21 Apr 2022 | 01:00:38 | |
When Brian Pennie was just a few weeks old, a medical condition nearly killed him, and the surgery the doctors performed to save his life was done without anesthesia, a common practice for young infants at the time (based on the faulty belief that infants couldn’t feel pain). Though Brian doesn’t consciously remember the surgery, his body remembered, and this early childhood trauma would define how he approached the world for the next several decades of his life.
From this experience, he learned that the world was a painful, dangerous place, and he developed anxiety at a very young age. When he was a teenager, he finally found an anesthetic to numb the pain from so many years ago: heroin. He spent 15 years addicted to the drug until he found himself in the hospital, unemployed and worried he was brain dead, and he finally let go and surrendered.
That moment of surrender led to an awakening in his life where he was able to connect with something bigger and experience the beauty in the world after years of numbness. He began studying meditation, neuroscience and the ways our thoughts, beliefs and self-talk shape our reality, and he was able to heal addiction at the source by healing the trauma and anxiety that he had been trying to escape.
In this incredible episode, Brian tells his powerful story of addiction and healing and then breaks down the science behind how he healed and how all of us can use meditation, breathwork, positive self-talk and inner child work (hello, Adult Chair® tools!) to rewire our brains – whether we’re struggling with addiction, depression, anxiety, trauma or low self-worth.
Listen to discover:
Brian shares his story with so much vulnerability and authenticity, and he truly embodies The Adult Chair life. This episode will move you, inspire you and show you how we can change the story we’re living by changing the story we’re telling ourselves. “I don’t remember the operation, but my body remembers.” - Brian Pennie
“I never had the general anesthetic as an infant, but when I was 17, I had done heroin for the first time, and I found my anesthetic.” - Brian Pennie
“The narrative of my life was ‘I cannot cope with anxiety. I need drugs to survive’…I wanted to escape me." - Brian Pennie
"That was the moment when I put up the white flag, and in order to move forward, I had to fall down...I surrendered, and I believe that was the start of all the changes in my life." - Brian Pennie
“I couldn’t see the thinker because the thinker was me.” - Brian Pennie
"Awareness is the catalyst for change." - Brian Pennie
"By changing your beliefs, you change your internal dialogue, you change your self-talk. By changing your self-talk, you change how you feel, you change the consequences of your actions and ultimately change your life." - Brian Pennie
"Watch that absolute thinking that says we ‘never ever.’ It keeps us stuck. It keeps us limited." - Michelle Chalfant
"The more I worked with my internal state and my emotions, things started to change." - Michelle Chalfant
"We do a lot of inner child work with The Adult Chair. It's powerful, powerful work." - Michelle Chalfant
LINKS & RESOURCES
Brian Pennie Website
"Bonus Time" (Brian Pennie book) https://www.amazon.com/Bonus-Time-surviving-discovering-everyday/dp/0717186350
Free Inner Child Course https://theadultchair.com/innerchild
Share Your Love: Review The Adult Chair® Podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-adult-chair/id941317634?mt=2&ign-mpt=uo%3D4
MORE ADULT CHAIR
The Adult Chair® Website
The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/
The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification
STAY CONNECTED
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ | |||
| 310: How to Live with Happiness Daily with Monique Rhodes | 14 Apr 2022 | 00:53:00 | |
If you’ve been around The Adult Chair® for a minute, you’ve heard me say that happiness is an inside job. We are so prone to believe that joy comes from our external circumstances, which leads us to strive and strive for what we think will finally make us happy and blame others for our unhappiness. But the reality is that nothing outside of us will be able to make us happy if we don’t first cultivate a sense of joy and peace within. My guest today, Monique Rhodes, discovered this truth when she went on her own journey of understanding what makes some people happy in life while others suffer. Though today she works as a happiness strategist and calls herself “annoyingly happy,” this wasn’t always the case. After a difficult childhood and a number of tragedies, she ended up in the hospital after attempting to take her own life, which led her to explore a wide range of cultures, philosophies and practices to figure out if happiness was something she could actually create in her life. And it turns out, she could! In this episode, Monique shares the practical habits she uses every day to cultivate a sense of happiness in her life and why they make such a difference in our mental state. These are all simple, free and fast practices that work by shifting our minds towards the positive and helping us see the good that already exists in our world.
Listen to discover:
We’ve all had that experience where we finally get the job, the house, the relationship, the body or whatever it is we’ve been wanting only to find that nothing about our lives really changes; we still feel sad, depressed or lonely. This is proof that our mental state is what drives our happiness, not things! Using the practices in this episode, you can turn up the positive in your life, which will help you find joy no matter your circumstances and help you be more present with the good things that do happen in your life – the icing on the cake of an already happy and peaceful life.
“Where we live is in our mind, and when was the last time that we cleaned out our mind?” - Monique Rhodes
“We believe that happiness and suffering comes from our external circumstances. But it doesn’t. It comes from that mind that we just do not take care of.” - Monique Rhodes
“We have emotional reactions that are triggered usually by things that happened in the past.” - Monique Rhodes
“A meditation practice every day is a game changer.” - Monique Rhodes
“With meditation, consistency is way more important than intensity.” - Monique Rhodes
“Commit to something that you’re willing to commit to, and if you don’t have 10 minutes out of a whole day, you really gotta think about your life.” - Michelle Chalfant
“I think being happy is our birthright.” - Monique Rhodes
“You can find gratitude in anything. You just have to look.” - Michelle Chalfant
LINKS & RESOURCES Monique Rhodes Website
The Adult Chair® Membership (April Theme: Emotional Regulation) https://theadultchair.com/membership/
The Adult Chair® Private Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/
MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website
The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/
The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification
STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/
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| 309: How to Save and Strengthen Your Relationship with Matt Fray | 07 Apr 2022 | 01:05:05 | |
You think you’re a good person, you genuinely love your partner and you try to do the right thing …so why are you struggling in your relationship? Why do you and your partner feel unhappy, disconnected and maybe even headed for divorce?
These are the questions Matt Fray asked himself after his marriage ended. He knew he was a decent guy. He knew he had loved his wife, been faithful and done the things he thought he was “supposed” to do in a marriage – yet one day she came to him and asked for a divorce. As he walked through the grief and pain of that experience, he began a journey of self-reflection and blogging to try to understand what went wrong and how people can truly have healthy relationships.
What he uncovered was a series of small habits and dynamics that added up in his relationship and eroded trust and safety over time…and that these dynamics exist in nearly all relationships, including relationships made up of good people who really do love each other. Now, he’s on a mission to help good people become good partners by understanding the root of relationship problems and how to fix them.
In this episode, Matt reveals the invisible habits that kill relationships, how we can turn our relationships around and how to build trust, safety and lifelong love.
Listen to discover:
Nothing in life is static. Either we’re cultivating our relationships and on a trajectory of trust or we’re neglecting our relationships and on a trajectory of breakdown. Too often, we can’t see this trajectory until it all falls apart. I love Matt’s work because he’s helping us open our eyes to the invisible ways we’re either creating or damaging our relationships, even when things seem “fine,” and giving us one of the most important gifts a person can have: the power of choice to do things differently and change the trajectory we’re on. “There’s so much power in that ‘I’m not alone’ experience.” - Matt Fray
“That’s when healing truly began — when I took ownership and responsibility for my lot in life.” - Matt Fray
“When you think you’re a good person, it’s so easy to not accept responsibility for harm that’s being experienced by someone else.”- Matt Fray
“Very good people who really, truly love each other can do this to one another.” - Matt Fray
“Once you associate invalidation with the erosion of trust, then you can make the conscious decision to validate.” - Matt Fray
“When we go through something unusual, it is our job to share, ‘You know, I really need help with this,’ and it’s our partner’s job to show up and say, ‘I’ve got you.’” - Michelle Chalfant
“It’s not about being right – it’s being there in it with that person.” - Michelle Chalfant
“The low-hanging fruit…is ‘I’m not going to invalidate.’” - Matt Fray
LINKS & RESOURCES
Matt Fray Website
“This Is How Your Marriage Ends” (Matt Fray book) https://www.amazon.com/This-Your-Marriage-Ends-Relationships/dp/0063072254/
“The Mask You Live In” Documentary https://therepproject.org/films/the-mask-you-live-in/
The Adult Chair® Membership (April Theme: Emotional Regulation) https://theadultchair.com/membership/
MORE ADULT CHAIR
The Adult Chair® Website
The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/
The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification
STAY CONNECTED
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ | |||
| 308: Bending Reality with Yemi Penn | 31 Mar 2022 | 00:45:51 | |
When we’re born into the world, we’re born into a set of assumptions and norms. When this is all we’ve known, we think this is just the way the world works — but what if it’s all just an illusion? What if there’s another way to live – outside of the status quo – and how can you manifest that life for yourself?
Yemi Penn calls this “bending reality,” and, no, she’s not talking about some kind of Star Wars-like force – she’s talking about questioning societal norms, thinking outside of the box for ourselves and removing what gets in the way of the life we want to live. After experiencing childhood trauma and a period of homelessness, Yemi decided it was up to her to transform her trauma and turn it into a gift. This led her to live all over the world, run four successful businesses, tell stories through books and documentaries and build a life inspiring others to overcome fear, find their power and grow into their potential.
In this episode, we discuss healing from trauma, how we can reframe our norms and preconceived ideas about life and four steps to radical change – first in our minds and then in our reality.
Listen to discover:
I love Yemi’s perspective because this isn’t pie-in-the-sky thinking or idealism. It’s grounded in science, authenticity and real-life experiences of overcoming trauma and failure in order to show that anything is possible. She is a phenomenal person with so much wisdom to share, and I hope this inspires you to live a bold life of connection, bravery and power.
What is a reality you would dream of for yourself if there were no societal conventions and expectations holding you back? What if you decided they didn’t matter?
"I'm asking the question, 'Can trauma be transformative?'" - Yemi Penn
"I think there's so much wisdom in our own bodies that we haven't even connected with." - Yemi Penn
"We need to start trusting ourselves." - Michelle Chalfant
"Bending reality is almost removing yourself from the reality that we all appear to live in...It means not signing up for what we have been told is the only way to be." - Yemi Penn
"Bending reality for me is beginning to learn how to dance with the fear of criticism." - Yemi Penn
"Pretend you were not in this version of reality and you were somebody else. Who would you need to be to make it happen?" - Yemi Penn
"The ego really puts us in these boxes and says, 'No, you have to do it this way.'" - Michelle Chalfant
"You can't expect life to show up differently. You have to have radical change." - Michelle Chalfant
"We have to subtract the fear from that innate power we have that most of us have forgotten." - Yemi Penn
LINKS & RESOURCES
Yemi Penn Website
Yemi Penn TED Talk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jrKE2vMamA4
Yemi Penn Documentary https://www.yemipenn.com/documentary
“Did You Get the Memo?” (Yemi Penn book)
Yemi Penn Facebook https://www.facebook.com/YemiPenn/
Yemi Penn Instagram https://www.instagram.com/yemi.penn
MORE ADULT CHAIR
The Adult Chair® Website
The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/
The Adult Chair® Events https://theadultchair.com/events/
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification
STAY CONNECTED
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ | |||
| 307: Seasonal Affective Disorder with Dr. Norman Rosenthal | 24 Mar 2022 | 00:55:55 | |
There's a funny meme I see floating around the internet that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was winter."
It's a joke, but as always, there's truth in humor – and the reality is that winter REALLY does affect our mood (and how we react to others) at a scientific level.
This is due to something called "seasonal affective disorder," or SAD, and it has everything to do with the amount of sunlight we're getting and how it affects our brains. It can even show up as major depression. And in today's episode, I'm interviewing the scientist who discovered this phenomenon himself, Dr. Norman Rosenthal.
Dr. Rosenthal is a fascinating man who loves everything from science to poetry and how people can experience greater well-being. He is passionate about, quite literally, bringing more light to this world, and he shares the creative and scientific process of how he and his colleagues discovered SAD, how they tested light therapy for SAD, who SAD affects the most, and some steps we can all take to make it through the winter.
Listen to discover:
As we spring forward and April is around the corner, I’m beginning to feel a sense of hope and reawakening, but we’re not out of the woods yet. SAD is still affecting our friends in the Southern Hemisphere, in places that get a lot of rain like Seattle and England, and any of us who don’t spend enough time getting out in the light. So, here’s your reason to get up from your desk and take a walk around the block on the next sunny day – maybe with a book of poetry in hand. "Where previously you'd only seen light as a vehicle for vision, now you see it as a vehicle for well-being." - Dr. Norman Rosenthal
"It's genetic, it's hormonal and it's environmental." - Dr. Norman Rosenthal
"SAD is actually a form of major depression." - Dr. Norman Rosenthal
“I’m a great believer in training yourself to realize when you’re getting enough light.” - Dr. Norman Rosenthal
“I don’t think a lot of people understand that this is what happens to so many of us [in the winter months].” - Michelle Chalfant
“When you really sit and listen or when you’re reading [poetry], it just speaks to our soul.” - Michelle Chalfant
"As a human, we get to experience everything from love to fear and everything in between. They're rich, beautiful emotions – every single one of them." - Michelle Chalfant
LINKS & RESOURCES “Poetry Rx” (Dr. Norman Rosenthal book) https://www.amazon.com/Poetry-Rx-Inspiring-Poems-Bring/dp/172250546X
“Winter Blues” (Dr. Norman Rosenthal book) https://www.amazon.com/Winter-Blues-Fourth-Everything-Affective/dp/1609181859
Verilux HappyLight https://verilux.com/collections/happylight-therapy-lamps-boxes
Carex Day-Light https://carex.com/products/carex-day-light-classic-plus-light-therapy-sun-lamp
MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website
The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/
The Adult Chair® Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification
STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/
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| 306: Empath vs. Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) | 17 Mar 2022 | 00:26:39 | |
Does it ever feel like other people in your life just have more capacity than you? They float through busy social calendars, difficult family situations, work stress and world events while you feel overwhelmed, bogged down and exhausted. You wonder what’s wrong with you and if they’re right: you really are too sensitive.
If that sounds like you, there is NOTHING wrong with you; you just might be an empath or highly sensitive person (HSP) – someone who takes in more emotions, energy and input from the world around you.
Being an empath or highly sensitive person is something that many people live with, but many don’t know it (or even know that it’s a thing!). And while being an empath can be an amazing gift, it can also create challenges in life when we’re unaware.
Because we feel others’ emotions so deeply, it can be very emotionally overwhelming and even lead to depression, anxiety and numbing behaviors if we don’t have self-care strategies in our toolbox. This was the story of my life for years until I learned to honor this part of myself, set good boundaries and recharge!
In this episode, I’m helping you understand the difference between an empath and a HSP, the signs you might be an empath and steps to take care of yourself if these traits resonate with you.
Listen to discover:
Empaths and HSPs don’t have any less capacity or ability to handle life than anyone else. They don’t need to “toughen up” or get thicker skin, and there’s no such thing as being too sensitive. In reality, empaths and HSPs are very strong people who are just taking in more of the world than the average person. Through self-care, we can learn to manage all the “inputs” coming in and create time to recharge, so we can balance our wonderful sensitivity with our needs. I hope the strategies in this episode help you survive and thrive in an overwhelming world without numbing out or squashing your beautiful empathetic gifts. “There’s a big difference between just someone who’s sensitive with a lot of empathy and an empath.” - Michelle Chalfant
“An empath is highly attuned to the energy of others.” - Michelle Chalfant
“We’re picking up on other people's emotions and we think they’re ours.” - Michelle Chalfant
“If you are moody, if you feel low a lot, even if you’re depressed, it could be that you’re taking on too many people’s emotions.” - Michelle Chalfant
“I learned not to open myself up to everybody’s problems.” - Michelle Chalfant
“No matter what you are – HSP or empath – please practice excellent self-care.” - Michelle Chalfant
LINKS & RESOURCES
Empath Meditation for Cleansing and Clearing Your Energy https://theadultchair.com/portfolio_page/empath-meditation-for-cleansing-and-clearing-your-energy/
A Guided Meditation for Cleansing Relationships and Cutting Cords
The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/
MORE ADULT CHAIR
The Adult Chair® Website
The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/
The Adult Chair® Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification
STAY CONNECTED
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/
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| 305: How To Build Healthy Relationships | 10 Mar 2022 | 00:30:05 | |
Relationships are one of the most basic human needs, but building healthy relationships takes self-awareness and work. While we talk a lot about behaviors that can make a relationship unhealthy, such as narcissism and gaslighting (which are both more than unhealthy – they’re abuse), I thought it was time to talk about what makes a relationship a keeper. What traits can you look to as your benchmark to see if your relationship is healthy and what should you aspire to if you’re working on creating healthier relationships in your life? In this episode, I’m sharing eight traits that healthy relationships have in common – whether that’s a relationship with a partner, friend, family member or anyone!
Listen to discover:
This doesn’t mean you have to get this right 100% of the time to be healthy, but healthy people DO work to repair mistakes and deepen connection, and that is what these practices will help you do. Remember that, while it takes two to tango, you can change the dance of your relationship just by working on yourself. As you live more authentically from your Adult Chair, you will find the way you respond to others and the way you show up and communicate changes. If you’re in a relationship with another healthy individual, they will be drawn to match your energy and meet you with more authenticity, vulnerability and openness – the keys to connection. “We don’t need to change other people to become who we want them to be.” - Michelle Chalfant
“If you hurt someone you care about, you apologize.” - Michelle Chalfant
“People in healthy relationships are interested in knowing what you need.” - Michelle Chalfant
“We remember to use the word ‘I’ and not ‘you.’ We express OUR needs.” - Michelle Chalfant
“Relationships take work – they really do.” - Michelle Chalfant
LINKS & RESOURCES Episode #302: Gaslighting 101 https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/302-gaslighting-101/
Episode #301: Narcissism 101: What It Is & How To Heal It https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/301/
Episode #261: How to Receive a Boundary from Your Adult Chair https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/261/
Adult Chair® Coaches https://theadultchair.com/coaches/
MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website
The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/
The Adult Chair® Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification
STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/
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| 304: Trauma Healing with Ilene Smith | 03 Mar 2022 | 00:38:42 | |
When we think of trauma, many of us think of war, a car accident or a major, life-altering event. Though all of these events are certainly traumatic, they are only one type of trauma – what we often call “big T” trauma.
But there are many other forms of subtler trauma, including small events that happen over and over again (especially in childhood), that overwhelm our nervous systems and shape the way we move through the world. I would argue that most humans have had some sort of trauma in their lives, and you’d be surprised by how many times I’ve sat with clients who didn’t even know they had trauma. Heck, it took me decades to realize I had trauma from childhood!
I think this is partly because trauma is such a loaded word, so on today’s show, I’m talking with a trauma expert, Ilene Smith, about what trauma actually is, how to notice if we’re living with trauma and how to heal it.
Listen to discover:
Here’s the thing about trauma: it has less to do with what actually happened (the event) and everything to do with how that event was interpreted and processed by our nervous system. Even small things can be overwhelming to the nervous system when they happen over time, when we’re children (because we don’t have any filters or discernment) and/or when we don’t have a strong sense of safety and support to help us process the painful events of our lives. And once our nervous system has been “trained” to react a certain way, it can get stuck there even once the trauma is over.
Bringing a sense of safety back to the nervous system is key to building up resilience and allowing yourself to process the stuck fight, flight or freeze energy. This happens in the body, which means the ability to heal your nervous system is as close to you as you are to yourself. I hope this episode brings you some lightbulb moments on what might be happening in your body and how you can begin to connect and heal.
“People often think of trauma as an event, but it's really the energy that gets locked in the body around real or perceived threat." - Ilene Smith
“Trauma can be a series of lots of little things.” - Ilene Smith
“The way we’re living could be the residuals of those childhood experiences.” - Ilene Smith
“As a kid growing up, we don’t know, ‘Oh wait, I’m emotionally not safe.’” - Michelle Chalfant
“When there’s childhood trauma, relationships are much harder when you enter adulthood.” - Ilene Smith
“There’s usually something unhealed if we can’t attach in healthy ways.” - Ilene Smith
“When we get into reactivity, we don’t get into our experience.” - Ilene Smith
“The healing journey is about the body.” - Michelle Chalfant
“When you think about going towards a distraction, think about what it might be like to get into your body in a safe way.” - Ilene Smith
LINKS & RESOURCES Ilene Smith Website
Ilene Smith Instagram https://www.instagram.com/ilenesmithhealing/
“Moving Beyond Trauma” (Ilene Smith book) https://movingbeyondtrauma.co/
ACE (Adverse Childhood Experiences) Test
The Adult Chair® Membership (March Theme: Self-compassion) https://theadultchair.com/membership/
The Adult Chair® Private Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/
MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website
The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/
The Adult Chair® Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification
STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/
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| 411: A Journey to Heaven and Back With Kristen Numen | 20 Jun 2024 | 01:08:03 | |
What happens when we cross over to the other side? In this episode, spiritual medium and healer Kristen Numen shares her near-death experience, detailing her vivid encounters with the afterlife. Join us as we uncover Kristen's emotionally charged journey into what many describe as heaven, offering comfort and understanding to those curious about the afterlife and the spiritual realm. Kristen recounts her life review, where she saw the ripple effect of her actions on others and experienced a moving reunion with her spiritual family. Her miraculous return to life, the sheer joy of waking up in the hospital, and the subsequent challenges of memory recovery are shared and will leave your mind racing. This leads to exploring themes of self-love, personal growth, and overcoming life's challenges. Kristen's opinions on intentional thinking, the law of attraction, and the beauty of being true to oneself are deeply inspiring. In this episode, you will hear:
The Adult Chair® Website
https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant
https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/
YouTube https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant
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| 303: The Anxiety Survival Guide with The Anxiety Sisters | 24 Feb 2022 | 00:56:06 | |
Do you know what anxiety really feels like? I’m not talking about the emotions of fear or stress, but what it feels like in your body.
So many of us live with anxiety and don’t even know it because it’s SO physical. It’s even easy to mistake it for physical disease, like heart issues or digestive issues.
That was the case for Abbe Greenberg and Maggie Sarachek, two soul sisters who are both mental health professionals and the founders of Anxiety Sisters, a supportive community for those living with anxiety. Though they can now see how their anxiety began showing up in early childhood, for years, they bounced from doctor to doctor and even spent time in the hospital before realizing the root cause of their suffering was anxiety.
This began their passion to help raise awareness around anxiety and help anxiety sufferers learn how to live full, happy lives – anxiety and all. We had an incredible conversation about all things anxiety and how to heal it, and I resonated with so many parts of their story…these ladies are the real deal!
Listen to discover:
I know I have a lot of favorite topics, but anxiety is one I really feel we can't talk about enough. Too many people in the world are suffering from anxiety without even knowing it, and we have so many tools – from our support system to our sensory system – to help us find peace and balance in life. It’s not about never feeling anxious again but learning how to find your own brand of happiness and how to take charge so anxiety no longer runs the show. "I still didn't have the vocabulary or the words to make these connections of what I was feeling and how that was connected to anxiety." - Maggie Sarachek
"Anxiety becomes really debilitating when it's in the driver's seat." - Abbe Greenberg
"I think there is this process of accepting anxiety." - Maggie Sarachek
"Acceptance doesn't mean anything other than, 'This is where I am.’" - Michelle Chalfant
"Our brand of happy is anxious happy." - Abbe Greenberg
"Anxiety can no longer sneak up on you. And when it can't sneak up on you, it takes away two thirds of its power." - Abbe Greenberg
"No two people have the same exact anxiety and panic." - Michelle Chalfant
LINKS & RESOURCES Anxiety Sisters Website
Anxiety Sisters Facebook https://www.facebook.com/anxietysisters *Home of a Tuesday night book club + supportive community
The Spin Cycle (Anxiety Sisters Podcast) https://anxietysisters.com/podcasts/
"The Anxiety Sisters' Survival Guide" (Anxiety Sisters Book) https://anxietysisters.com/anxiety-sisters-survival-guide/
Adult Chair® Coaches https://theadultchair.com/coaches/
The Adult Chair® Private Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/
MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website
The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/
The Adult Chair® Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification
STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/
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| 302: Gaslighting 101 | 17 Feb 2022 | 00:26:38 | |
You love them, and you think they love you…so why does it feel like you’re going crazy so often in your relationship?
You leave conversations feeling confused, questioning your reality and maybe even questioning your own sanity.
You might be in a relationship with a gaslighter.
Gaslighting is a term that is thrown around frequently, but it is far more than someone questioning us or challenging us. Gaslighting is intentional, manipulative and designed to whittle away someone’s self-confidence. In short, it’s abuse.
Though gaslighting often happens in romantic relationships with narcissists, it can also happen in friendships and family relationships, with men and women and with people who don’t struggle with narcissistic traits but who might struggle with control issues or other mental disorders.
In this episode, I’m sharing what gaslighting is, what it looks like in real life and ways to tell if you’re being gaslighted.
Listen to discover:
The term “gaslighting” actually comes from a 1944 movie about a man who tries to make his wife think she’s going insane…and that is exactly how being gaslighted feels – crazy making! If you are experiencing this type of abuse, you can start the healing process by building up self-worth and finding people who can help guide you back to what is true about you and your life. The more connected you are to yourself, the better you will be able to see what is real and what is not and make decisions about how to move forward. "Gaslighting – let's be clear – it's abusive." - Michelle Chalfant
"If someone is gaslighting you, you're going to feel confused, and confused a lot." - Michelle Chalfant
"Gaslighting is all about manipulation, power and control." - Michelle Chalfant
"'I'm sorry you feel that way,' is not an apology." - Michelle Chalfant
"When the person that you love keeps speaking to you like this, it wears you down." - Michelle Chalfant
"A gaslighter is the eternal victim." - Michelle Chalfant
"If someone is gaslighting you, stay in your own reality. Do not challenge them...you'll never win." - Michelle Chalfant
LINKS & RESOURCES
Episode #301: Narcissism 101: What It Is & How To Heal It https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/301/
The Adult Chair® Private Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/
MORE ADULT CHAIR
The Adult Chair® Website
The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/
The Adult Chair® Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification
STAY CONNECTED
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ | |||
| 301: Narcissism 101: What It Is & How To Heal It | 10 Feb 2022 | 00:40:42 | |
Narcissism is such a buzzword these days...it can be tempting to throw the label at anyone in our lives who isn't healthy or who is a little bit full of themselves. While I love that psychology is so accessible and that the world has a lot more awareness of narcissism than in the past, it’s so important to understand what narcissism really is, so we can spot it and heal from it – whether you are in a relationship with a narcissist or believe you’re a narcissist yourself.
In this episode, I’m breaking down the core traits of narcissism (it’s more than just a big ego), the childhood wounding that leads to narcissism and the steps you can take to heal the painful effects of narcissism.
Listen to discover:
Being in a relationship with a narcissist can be incredibly painful. It’s often filled with emotional abuse and manipulation, put downs and a lack of empathy that can be incredibly confusing and damaging to our sense of self. If you’re experiencing any type of abuse in a relationship, get out! At the same time, it’s important to remember we’re all human, and the narcissist is also in pain from deep childhood wounding that has caused them to cover up their true selves. With awareness, any of us can heal, and I hope this episode helps shed some light on the topic of narcissism and gives you practical tips for healing, whether you’re recovering from a relationship with a narcissist or have narcissistic traits yourself. "Let's be really clear: true narcissism is a personality disorder." - Michelle Chalfant
"Narcissists can love, but they can't empathize. They can't feel their emotions, so how in the world are they supposed to connect to your emotions?" - Michelle Chalfant
"Narcissism is a mask." - Michelle Chalfant
"They inflate their sense of self to feel important in the world." - Michelle Chalfant
"At the root of both these narcissistic pathways is deep shame." - Michelle Chalfant
"The narcissist just wants admiration from you, and once they hook you, everything starts to change." - Michelle Chalfant
“You did not get into the relationship knowing what you know now. In a sense, you were tricked.” - Michelle Chalfant
“Anybody can heal that wants to heal. Anybody.” - Michelle Chalfant
LINKS & RESOURCES
Adult Chair Podcast Episodes on Feeling Emotions https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/?sterm=emotions
The Adult Chair® Membership (February Theme: Crack your mask) https://theadultchair.com/membership/
MORE ADULT CHAIR
The Adult Chair® Website
The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/
The Adult Chair® Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification
STAY CONNECTED
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ | |||
| 300: How to Be a Boundary Boss with Terri Cole | 03 Feb 2022 | 00:40:24 | |
Are you convinced you’re just bad at boundaries? Do you worry this is a trait that you were born without and you’re just destined to feel taken advantage of and resentful for the rest of your life?
The truth is that no one is born good at boundaries! They’re not something you have or don’t have; they’re a skill you develop. That’s right – you CAN become a boundary boss!
My guest today, Terri Cole, is a boundary boss herself and a licensed psychotherapist who helps people from all walks of life overcome the “disease to please,” speak their truth clearly and confidently and live more free, peaceful lives. We talk about how our boundary scripts form (and why it’s not your fault), how to navigate conflict in a healthier way and a POWERFUL list of “boundary rights” you have that will inspire you to take more control of your life today!
Listen to discover:
The cool thing about boundaries is that once you start setting them, it gets easier and easier. Though some people will push back against your boundaries, you might be surprised by the amount of appreciation and respect you get from others when you begin setting boundaries. You will learn that conflict doesn’t equal disconnection – in fact, boundaries deepen connection and prevent resentment – and you will really experience what it feels like to be loved for your authentic self. And once you know how that feels, there is no turning back! “We all have this downloaded boundary blueprint in our unconscious mind.” - Terri Cole
“It’s your own personal rules of engagement…All of our boundaries are incredibly unique.” - Terri Cole
“We were raised and praised — most of us — for being self-abandoning codependents.” - Terri Cole
“It’s so much easier to say no when you haven’t already said yes.” - Terri Cole
"'Isn't self-care selfish?' No, it's self-loving!" - Michelle Chalfant
"Once you start doing it, it feels so good to be known. It feels so good to be accurately seen." - Terri Cole
"We can stay lovingly attached to the people in our lives while we set boundaries." - Terri Cole
LINKS & RESOURCES
Terri Cole Website
Terri Cole Instagram https://www.instagram.com/terricole/
“Boundary Boss” (Terri Cole book)
The Terri Cole Show (Terri Cole podcast) https://www.terricole.com/podcast/
Free Boundaries + Codependency Resource from Terri Cole https://boundaryboss.me/michelle
Episode #140: Love and Boundaries with Terri Cole https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/140-love-and-boundaries-with-terri-cole/
Episode #261: How to Receive a Boundary from Your Adult Chair https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/261/
The Adult Chair® Membership (February Theme: Crack your mask) https://theadultchair.com/membership/
MORE ADULT CHAIR
The Adult Chair® Website
The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/
The Adult Chair® Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification
STAY CONNECTED
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ | |||
| 299: Healing from Heartbreak and Finding Self-Love with Gabrielle Stone | 27 Jan 2022 | 00:39:07 | |
A month-long trip to Europe might sound like a dream, but for Gabrielle Stone, it was one more curveball during one of the hardest years of her life.
After catching her husband cheating on her, getting divorced, falling head over heels for a new man and planning a dream trip to Europe with him, days before they were scheduled to leave, he told her he would be going on his own.
With a plane ticket in her name and a choice to stay home or leap from the world of “serial monogamy” to a solo adventure, Gabrielle chose the path of adventure, and in doing so, began a journey of self-discovery and healing that has become the “Eat, Pray, #FML” movement.
Alone with her emotions halfway across the world, Gabrielle started journaling and reflecting on herself and the patterns in her life. Through connecting with herself and discovering what self-love really means, she healed heartbreak, trauma and abandonment, and today, she vulnerably and authentically shares her journey with the hope of inspiring others.
Listen to discover:
Gabrielle is relatable, funny and honest as she talks about life, relationships and changing our unhealed patterns so we can change our lives. I hope her story is an inspiration to anyone who needs to feel like you’re not alone and find joy in the healing process.
"That relationship was really what pushed me to go heal a lot of this abandonment stuff." - Gabrielle Stone
"There's something very therapeutic about physically writing in a journal." - Gabrielle Stone
"When I realized that loving yourself is as simple as giving your soul the things it loves, it totally changed everything for me." - Gabrielle Stone
"We don't take enough time – down time – to get to know who we are." - Michelle Chalfant
"When you keep attracting the same kind of people into your life, you have to look inward." - Michelle Chalfant
LINKS & RESOURCES
Gabrielle Stone Website
Gabrielle Stone Instagram https://www.instagram.com/gabriellestone/
Gabrielle Stone TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@gabrielle_stone
“Eat, Pray, #FML” (Gabrielle Stone book) https://www.amazon.com/Eat-Pray-FML-Gabrielle-Stone/dp/1733963707
“The Ridiculous Misadventures of a Single Girl” (Gabrielle Stone book) https://www.amazon.com/Ridiculous-Misadventures-Single-Girl-Pray/dp/B09G5GRJJM
FML Talk (Gabrielle Stone podcast) https://www.eatprayfml.com/fml-talk
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification (Doors Close January 31!) https://theadultchair.com/certification
MORE ADULT CHAIR
The Adult Chair® Website
The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/
The Adult Chair® Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification (Doors Close January 31!) https://theadultchair.com/certification
STAY CONNECTED
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ | |||
| 298: How to Work with and Tame the Inner Critic with Jenny Jansen | 20 Jan 2022 | 00:41:02 | |
All of us have an inner critic – the part that reminds us of our limits, our failures and tries to “keep us in line.” It’s that voice inside your head that can be critical, judgmental and even mean. Though it’s just one part of who we are, the inner critic is one of those parts that can be especially painful and stressful to deal with.
Not only does the inner critic impact our sense of self-worth, but it also keeps us stuck and small in life (although it thinks it’s keeping us safe). We will often find this part standing between us and the dreams that are in our heart, telling us all the reasons why we can’t or shouldn’t.
That is what Adult Chair® Coach Jenny Jansen encountered when she was considering joining The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification Program. She knew her heart was telling her to take the leap, but her inner critic dialed the volume up and tried to keep her stuck in fear.
In this episode, Jenny tells the story of how she used The Adult Chair® to work with and transform her inner critic and how that was the first step toward living a life where she feels purposeful, energized and successful. Jenny shares a detailed example of doing her own parts work, helping illustrate what this work looks like in real life and how transformational it is.
Listen to discover:
As Jenny worked with her inner critic, she discovered that underneath the blame and shame it was throwing her way was fear. This is usually the case for our Adolescent parts – they are afraid and want to keep us safe. When we turn towards them with our healthy Adult voice and let them know they’re ok, they transform. Jenny’s story is a powerful example of how the goal is not to get rid of parts of ourselves but rather to integrate them into our whole self, with our healthy Adult in charge. “I feel like my inner critic was born when I was born.” - Jenny Jansen “When I turned toward it, I realized there was so much fear underneath.” - Jenny Jansen “The more you turn away from that voice, it gets louder.” - Michelle Chalfant “When we’re able to turn toward those parts and get to know them, they morph.” - Michelle Chalfant “A lot of times, we mix up feeling safe with feeling familiar.” - Jenny Jansen “What is it going to take to move your body path in line with your soul path?” - Jenny Jansen “When we take these risks and work with these inner parts and walk through our fears, we become more authentic. We live more from our true self, our true essence, and we have an experience of it.” - Michelle Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES
Jenny Jansen Website https://www.trueconsciousliving.com/
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification (Doors Close January 31!) https://theadultchair.com/certification
MORE ADULT CHAIR
The Adult Chair® Website
The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/
The Adult Chair® Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification (Doors Close January 31!) https://theadultchair.com/certification
STAY CONNECTED
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ | |||
| 297: Overcoming Fear with Scout Sobel | 13 Jan 2022 | 00:41:32 | |
When we think about the lives we want to live – the things we want to do and experience and the big dreams we have – the ego will give us a thousand reasons “why not.” Some of these reasons might be real traumas or health issues we have to overcome; others are figments of the ego’s imagination…fear and discomfort that scream at us to stay in the safe place.
But one thing is certain: anyone who has created more for themselves has overcome struggles and fears to build the life of their dreams.
My guest, Scout Sobel, shares her story of working through depression and bipolar disorder and overcoming fear to become a successful entrepreneur, building a company rooted in emotional health and inspiring others with her podcasts about business and self-care. She shares her healing journey, her non-negotiable practices that keep her body and mind in balance and how she continues overcoming fear daily to create a life beyond what she thought possible.
Listen to discover:
Scout’s story is full of deep wisdom about how we actually grow and heal as humans. She talks about the power of acceptance, and how her life began to change when she accepted that challenges were part of being human and she took responsibility for her life and healing. As we go into a new year, I hope this episode inspires you to take radical responsibility for YOUR dreams and make this year more than you can imagine! “The real work is within you.” - Scout Sobel “There is no such thing as a magic pill.” - Michelle Chalfant “I think one of my biggest breakthroughs came from accepting and not resisting.” - Scout Sobel “If you’re struggling with anything, I really believe that your healing is behind that resistance.” - Scout Sobel “You have to walk through discomfort and challenging moments to get what you want in this lifetime.” - Scout Sobel “Acceptance doesn’t mean you freaking like it.” - Michelle Chalfant “If you are experiencing fear that is causing you to be paralyzed or remain stagnant in your life, I want you to ask yourself, ‘What future has fear already robbed you of?’” - Scout Sobel
LINKS & RESOURCES
Scout Sobel Website
Scout Sobel Instagram https://www.instagram.com/scoutsobel/
Okay Sis (Scout Sobel Podcast) https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/okay-sis/id1434353917
The Emotional Entrepreneur (Scout Sobel Podcast) https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-emotional-entrepreneur-podcast/id1505252696
“The Emotional Entrepreneur” (Scout Sobel Book) https://www.amazon.com/Emotional-Entrepreneur-Scout-Sobel/dp/0578951754
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification (Doors Close January 31!) https://theadultchair.com/certification
MORE ADULT CHAIR
The Adult Chair® Website
The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/
The Adult Chair® Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification (Doors Close January 31!) https://theadultchair.com/certification
STAY CONNECTED
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/
| |||
| 296: How Self-Validation Will Change Your Life | 06 Jan 2022 | 00:35:50 | |
In my 25 years of practicing as a therapist and holistic life coach, I found that there was one common root cause behind many of the issues my clients were facing: low self-worth. From codependency to difficulty with decisions or boundaries, not having a strong connection with the inner self was often the driving force behind these challenges.
Most of us have a tendency to look outside of ourselves for worth and validation, and building up a strong sense of who we are on the inside takes practice. One of the simplest and most powerful places to start is with self-validation.
Self-validation is when we notice who we are – our actions, thoughts and feelings – and we affirm ourselves. It’s not bragging or comparing ourselves to others but rather speaking truth to ourselves and cheering ourselves on…which not only builds up our sense of self-worth but also leads to healthier relationships as we stop looking to others to validate us.
In this episode, I’m sharing more about the power of self-validation and simple steps for how you can begin a practice of doing this every day. It literally takes seconds to do, and over time, it will change your life!
Listen to discover:
No one can make us feel or believe something we don’t believe about ourselves. So, if we don’t have a sense of our own self-worth, no amount of validation from others is going to give us what we need. It’s an endless cycle of approval-seeking that never fills us up. That’s why we have to lay a foundation of self-worth and believe in our own goodness so that when others validate us, we can actually let it land and show up more authentically – as the true self that we know and love. “Self-validation starts a domino effect to help heal all of these things because self-validation starts to build self-worth.” - Michelle Chalfant “Self-validation is when we notice what we’re doing or thinking or feeling and we acknowledge it, we own it and then we give ourselves a pat on the back about it.” - Michelle Chalfant “If you want healthy relationships, start out by self-validating. It is unhealthy for us to rely on external validation.” - Michelle Chalfant “Self-validation is the healthy way to feel good about self.” - Michelle Chalfant “When you add that validation that takes seconds, my internal self gets built up, my self-worth gets built up, my sense of self becomes a little bit more positive.” - Michelle Chalfant “It’s your job to share with others what you need.” - Michelle Chalfant
LINKS & RESOURCES
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification (Doors Close January 31!) https://theadultchair.com/certification
MORE ADULT CHAIR
The Adult Chair® Website
The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/
The Adult Chair® Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification (Doors Close January 31!) https://theadultchair.com/certification
STAY CONNECTED
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ | |||
| 295: Holiday Special: How to Change Negative Programs and Patterns with Adele Spraggon | 30 Dec 2021 | 01:06:05 | |
When you think about wanting to change or transform, what do you typically think of changing? Most of us think of a behavior or action – something we are doing. If we’ve been doing our work for a while, we might think of a thought pattern or belief.
But what if everything we do and think is just the tip of the iceberg? What if our actions, behaviors and beliefs are actually the manifestation of deep unconscious patterns in our brains, and if true transformation happens by transforming these patterns?
In this episode, I talk with the incredible Adele Spraggon, a behavioral change and brain expert, about what drives human behavior, why traditional methods of change fail and how we can identify and transform the unconscious patterns that drive our behavior without us even knowing it.
We’re covering so many topics from relationships to money (because the brain affects them all!), and you will learn Adele’s four-step process for working with negative patterns, even those in your subconscious mind.
I LOVED my conversation with Adele – a true soul sister who speaks The Adult Chair® language – and I know you will too.
Listen to discover:
Too often we try to change only the external or we try to simply work against the negative patterns in our brain, and we wonder why our lives don’t change. As you will learn in this episode, the key is that we have to get rid of the old pattern before we can replace it with a new one...and this episode will show you how!
“How we are taught to change behaviors is not effective. What we need to do is deal with our brain’s patterning instead of the actions that we're taking, the beliefs that we’re holding or the behaviors we’re adopting.” - Adele Spraggon “Between us and our situations, there lives an interpreter, and that interpreter is our brain.” - Adele Spraggon “We create this roadmap from [age] 0 to 6 that we’re living in as adults.” - Michelle Chalfant “Mindset originates in the unconscious patterning of the brain.” - Adele Spraggon “I love triggers because so much is revealed in a trigger.” - Michelle Chalfant “People don’t procrastinate. We avoid.” - Adele Spraggon “Everything about who a person is today is the result of every pattern that has brought them here.” - Adele Spraggon “The biggest gift you can give another person is to allow that person to show up brand new every time you see them.” - Adele Spraggon
LINKS & RESOURCES
Adele Spraggon Website https://www.adelespraggon.com/
“Shift: 4 Steps to Personal Empowerment” (Adele Spraggon Book)
2022 Adult Chair® Membership 2022 Theme: A Year of Conscious Living https://courses.theadultchair.com/offers/U6FHGTjV/checkout
P&G Hair Food Or find on Amazon or Target.com
MORE ADULT CHAIR
The Adult Chair® Website
The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/
The Adult Chair® Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification (Doors Close January 31!) https://theadultchair.com/certification
STAY CONNECTED
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ | |||
| 294: Holiday Special: Childhood Emotional Neglect with Dr. Jonice Webb | 23 Dec 2021 | 00:46:35 | |
Do you find yourself feeling unfulfilled and empty, despite seemingly having everything you need to be happy? Do you crave closer relationships but feel like you can’t connect at the deep level you want?
These feelings can often be subtle signs of childhood emotional neglect, which is when our parents or caregivers didn’t tend to or validate our emotions as children. This sets us up for an adult life where we don’t know how to feel our own emotions — which is essential to experiencing joy, passion and connection!
In this show, I’m chatting with Dr. Jonice Webb, a psychologist and author and a highly requested guest in The Adult Chair® community, about how to spot childhood emotional neglect and how to begin the process of accessing your emotions as an adult. This show is filled with incredible insights into an issue that unknowingly affects so many of us and how to heal from it.
Listen to discover:
Childhood emotional neglect isn’t necessarily abuse; in fact, it can happen in very loving, well-meaning homes. But anything that disconnects us from our emotions — our inner navigation system and a key to living in The Adult Chair — is going to keep us from living the happy, fulfilled life we all dream of. I hope this episode encourages you to look inward and connect with the deepest parts of who you are. That is how you will experience the fullness of life and connection with others!
“We need our feelings to survive and thrive in our adult life.” - Dr. Jonice Webb
“Eventually the child brain just erects a wall so that you don’t have to feel anything, and that wall stays there until you take it down.” - Dr. Jonice Webb
“Men have the equal capacity or ability to feel all emotions because they’re human.” - Michelle Chalfant
“What you have inside is a constellation of how your parents treated your feelings.” - Dr. Jonice Webb
“Emotions are the expression of your deepest self.” - Dr. Jonice Webb
“Emotions are our built-in navigation system, and they guide us.” - Michelle Chalfant
LINKS & RESOURCES
Dr. Jonice Webb Website
“Running on Empty” (Dr. Jonice Webb book) https://drjonicewebb.com/the-book/
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification (Doors Close January 31!) https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/
P&G Hair Food Or find on Amazon or Target.com
MORE ADULT CHAIR
The Adult Chair® Website
The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/
The Adult Chair® Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/
STAY CONNECTED
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ | |||
| 410: Tap Into Your Gifts and Quantum Leap Your Life With Elyse Archer | 13 Jun 2024 | 00:50:53 | |
In this episode, we’re having a conversation with the inspiring Elyse Archer, founder of Super Human Selling. This isn't your everyday chat; we're peeling back the layers to uncover the raw and real magic of embracing your authentic gifts. Forget chasing someone else's dream – it's all about shining in your unique light, and Elyse is here to show us how. Elyse takes us on her personal journey, swapping the relentless pursuit of external success for a life rich with genuine talent and passion. It's about getting real with yourself and recognizing those innate strengths that make you, well, you. We tackle the often tricky task of accepting compliments and owning our talents without an ounce of guilt. We also chat about facing fears, embracing change, and the exhilarating journey towards a life that resonates with your truest self. Feeling stuck or blocked creatively? We dissect the difference between ego-driven and soul-inspired ideas and share strategies to navigate inspiration and overcome those pesky mental roadblocks. This isn't just about tapping into your gifts; it's a journey to living a life that's undeniably yours. If you're ready to unlock your potential and live out loud, this is your sign. Hit play, and let's get this transformation party started! In this episode, you will hear:
Resources from this Episode MORE ADULT CHAIRThe Adult Chair® Website
https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant
https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/
YouTube | |||
| 293: Overcoming Trauma and Limiting Beliefs with Michael Unbroken | 16 Dec 2021 | 00:47:40 | |
We all have limiting beliefs that hold us back in life. But what if you’ve experienced significant trauma as well? How do you distinguish between a trauma response and limiting or negative thinking? How do you find the power to heal when things have happened that were out of your control?
My guest today, Michael Unbroken, has an intense and powerful story of overcoming unspeakable trauma, growing up with abuse, addiction and homelessness. At one point, he wanted to end his own life. But he made a decision to live, and in doing so, discovered that the only path forward started within.
In this incredible conversation, Michael shares how he was able to break the cycle of trauma in his life and consciously choose a different path for himself. This is an inspiring and vulnerable conversation that will challenge you to take ownership of your life, treat yourself with grace and kindness and live life fully! Listen to discover:
Transforming limiting beliefs starts with taking ownership of the way we think about life, no matter what we’ve been through. What happened to us is not our fault, but it does become our job to take responsibility for it and make a choice to create the healthy, whole life we want to live. We all have the power to do this, and I hope this episode inspires you to find everything that’s possible for you.
“It’s never going to be one thing that changes your life.” - Michael Unbroken
“What you think becomes what you speak. What you speak becomes your actions, and your actions become your reality.” - Michael Unbroken
“If we’re sitting waiting for someone to rescue us, we’re in the seat of the victim.” - Michelle
“We have to create different. We have to create better. If we want a different life, we have to make different choices.” - Michelle Chalfant
“It will change everything about the fabric of your experience of this life when you’re willing to be real.” - Michael Unbroken
LINKS & RESOURCES
Michael Unbroken Website https://www.thinkunbroken.com/
Michael Unbroken Podcast https://www.thinkunbrokenpodcast.com/
Michael Unbroken Instagram https://www.instagram.com/michaelunbroken/
Michael Unbroken Facebook https://www.facebook.com/MichaelUnbroken/
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification (Now Open: Doors Close January 31!) https://michellechalfant.com/coaching-certification-program/
P&G Hair Food Or find on Amazon or Target.com
MORE ADULT CHAIR
The Adult Chair® Website
The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/
The Adult Chair® Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification
STAY CONNECTED
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ | |||
| 292: Boundary Help at the Holidays with Sharon Martin | 09 Dec 2021 | 00:49:22 | |
Staying in our Adult Chair and setting boundaries can be especially difficult at the holidays. Pressure to attend events or spend money, uncomfortable conversations, holiday traditions and gatherings of family and friends that might not normally get together can create plenty of scenarios that test our boundaries (not to mention the “shoulds” and guilt the holidays can bring!).
It doesn’t surprise me one bit when my inbox lights up with questions about boundaries this time of year.
So, I enlisted the help of today’s guest, psychotherapist and boundary expert Sharon Martin, to help me answer your questions about how to flex your boundary muscles this time of year — and anytime!
We talk about how to navigate guilt and defensiveness when it comes to boundaries, helpful boundary statements and all kinds of practical tips and tools for setting boundaries at the holidays. Listen to discover:
Boundaries are not something you have to master overnight. I didn’t wake up one day suddenly good at setting boundaries either – but when you start slowly and build and build, you CAN learn this…and everybody needs to learn it, because boundaries are part of our self-care!
So, if you’re feeling overwhelmed by holiday boundaries, pick one or two to start with – a “no” to a party, a political topic you don’t want to discuss or a gift budget. You’ll bring a little extra sanity to your holidays and give yourself great practice for year-round self-care.
“One way we can think about [boundaries] is as a dividing line.” - Sharon Martin
“You can actually have better relationships when we are able to set boundaries.” - Michelle Chalfant
“We don’t need to wait until the uncomfortableness is completely gone for us to set the boundary.” - Sharon Martin
“Boundaries and confrontation are not the same thing.” - Michelle Chalfant
“Boundaries are really based on needs.” - Sharon Martin
“It’s always about staying connected to yourself so that you know when a boundary is necessary.” - Michelle Chalfant
“Don’t extend yourself to others so much that you’ve lost sight of what you need on the inside.” - Michelle Chalfant
LINKS & RESOURCES
Sharon Martin Website http://livewellwithsharonmartin.com/
“The Better Boundaries Workbook” (Sharon Martin Book) https://betterboundariesworkbook.com/
2022 Annual Adult Chair® Membership 2022 Theme: A Year of Conscious Living https://courses.theadultchair.com/offers/U6FHGTjV/checkout
Other Adult Chair® Podcasts on Boundaries https://theadultchair.com/?s=boundaries&pageName=default
P&G Hair Food Or find on Amazon or Target.com
MORE ADULT CHAIR
The Adult Chair® Website
The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/
The Adult Chair® Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification
TAC Circles® https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/
STAY CONNECTED
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ | |||
| 291: Loneliness at the Holidays with Dr. Dain Heer | 02 Dec 2021 | 00:52:13 | |
The holidays are a time where it feels like everything is a bit magnified: there is so much joy and brightness in the world but also space for sadness, loneliness and grief to be amplified.
It’s a touchy time of year where whatever we’re feeling gets underscored by parties, gatherings and traditions.
But the holidays don’t create these feelings. In fact, according to my guest on the podcast today, WE don’t even create most of these feelings. Rather, we pick them up from our parents and the world around us, and the key to overcoming loneliness and sadness is to understand where it all began.
In this episode, I’m bringing back one of my favorite people, Dr. Dain Heer, to talk about loneliness, how to identify what is ours and what is not, how to clear what’s not ours, how to get out of victim and so many more important, empowering topics!
Dr. Dain also shares tools and techniques you can use immediately to start clearing negative emotions – one of the reasons I love his work so much! Listen to discover:
Dr. Dain’s work with Access Consciousness is all about realizing the power you have within you to change. When you’re able to get rid of what is not yours, it gives you the space and energy to work on what IS yours and create your life instead of falling victim to it. I hope the tools in this episode help you find your inner power, no matter what you’re feeling this holiday season – or any time of the year!
“Your point of view creates your reality. Your reality doesn’t create your point of view.” - Dr. Dain Heer
“It’s as simple as redirecting that energy out of your energy field.” - Michelle Chalfant
“It starts to undo the foundation of limitation.” - Dr. Dain Heer
“We don’t have to be limited by the world around us.” - Dr. Dain Heer
“When we open the door for possibilities, it makes that available to everybody else on the planet.” - Dr. Dain Heer
“People who do victim have learned it.” - Dr. Dain Heer
“Victims are actually victimizing others and controlling them with their victimhood.” - Dr. Dain Heer
“If we can just sit in someone else’s energy field that’s healthy, we become more like them.” - Michelle Chalfant
Resources
Dr. Dain Heer Website
Dr. Dain Heer YouTube https://www.youtube.com/user/drdainheer
Dr. Dain Heer Facebook https://www.facebook.com/DrDainHeer
Dr. Dain Heer Instagram https://www.instagram.com/dainheer/
Who Does This Belong To App https://www.accessconsciousness.com/en/shop-catalog/apps/who-does-this-belong-to-app/
The Clearing Statement https://theclearingstatement.com/
“Body Whispering” (Dr. Dain Heer Book) https://www.amazon.com/Body-Whispering-Dr-Heer/dp/1634934873
2022 Adult Chair® Membership 2022 Theme: A Year of Conscious Living https://courses.theadultchair.com/offers/U6FHGTjV/checkout
P&G Hair Food Or find on Amazon or Target.com
MORE ADULT CHAIR
The Adult Chair® Website
The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/
The Adult Chair® Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification
TAC Circles® https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/
STAY CONNECTED
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/
| |||
| 290: Holiday Special: Using the Polyvagal Theory to Balance Your Nervous System with Deb Dana | 25 Nov 2021 | 01:02:18 | |
You know the feeling when your nervous system kicks into overdrive. Maybe you freeze in place or your heart starts racing, your body pumping with adrenaline. This automatic response often feels like it overtakes us. But what if you could control and balance your nervous system instead of it controlling you?
In today’s show, I’m interviewing the incredible Deb Dana, one of the leading experts on the nervous system and the Polyvagal Theory. The Polyvagal Theory offers us cutting-edge insight into the third nervous system response that Porges calls the social engagement system, based on the Vagus Nerve.
In this episode, we talk about how we can both understand and balance our nervous system — from the different ways we respond to fear or danger (including fight, flight, freeze and a new one you might not be aware of) to how we can change our response to stressors over time. We explore how we can stop moralizing our nervous response, how to listen and pay attention to our nervous system and how others’ nervous systems can help us regulate. It is FASCINATING!
Listen to discover:
This blends attachment theory, stress response, self-regulation, co-regulation and SO much more. The big takeaway is that you have a choice! Even though you don’t get to choose how your nervous system is wired, you can eventually shift how you respond to situations and regulate your own system — which is so empowering!
“We don’t get to choose our survival response.” - Deb Dana
“We want to stretch our nervous system but not stress our nervous system.” - Deb Dana
Resources
Deb Dana Website https://https://www.rhythmofregulation.com/
The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy by Deb Dana https://www.amazon.com/Polyvagal-Theory-Therapy-Interpersonal-Neurobiology/dp/0393712370/ref=nodl_
Adult Chair® Coaches https://theadultchair.com/coaches/
P&G Hair Food Or find on Amazon or Target.com
MORE ADULT CHAIR
The Adult Chair® Website
The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/
The Adult Chair® Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification
TAC Circles® https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/
STAY CONNECTED
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ | |||
| 289: Conscious Parenting, Kid Triggers and More with Dayna Ciarfalia | 18 Nov 2021 | 00:41:21 | |
They always say parenting is the hardest job in the world. And while caring for little beings and chauffeuring them all around town can certainly be busy and overwhelming at times, the day-to-day tasks of parenting were not what I found most challenging.
Instead, it was what my kids revealed about me that was so hard! The way they knew exactly how to push my buttons and trigger me, the fears and anxieties that came out when they were born and the hopes and dreams I projected on them were the biggest mirror for who I was, even in the tiniest human form.
But as you know, I believe triggers are a gift, so stepping into our Adult Chair as parents and consciously looking at parenting as part of our healing journey can be an amazing next step in our growth!
In this episode, I’m talking with parenting coach Dayna Ciarfalia about what conscious parenting is and how we can become more conscious as parents. We talk about what it means and what to do when our kids trigger us, our true role as parents and how we can build healthy, life-long relationships with our kids as we encourage them to become who they’re meant to become. Listen to discover:
It’s so hard to let go as a parent. We want our kids to be safe, healthy and happy...and we often have our own ideas and values about who we want them to be in the world. But when we shift into a more conscious state, we can see the ways our kids help us grow and our role in guiding them to become the unique beings they are created to be. “As conscious parents, we don’t view our children as beings to be controlled or taught or raised, if you will. We see them as separate beings that we are here in relationship with to support them in becoming the person they are supposed to be – whatever that is.” - Dayna Ciarfalia “How we model being a human in front of them becomes the blueprint for how they are going to be in the world.” - Dayna Ciarfalia “It’s not you vs. me. It’s us vs. the problem.” - Dayna Ciarfalia “As humans we like to blame other people for triggering us vs. ‘Wait, is this mine?’” - Michelle Chalfant “That overwhelm almost always comes from a lack of me acknowledging my needs.” - Dayna Ciarfalia “We don’t know who our kids are here to become.” - Michelle Chalfant
LINKS & RESOURCES
Dayna Ciarfalia Website
Dayna Ciarfalia Instagram https://www.instagram.com/the.conscious.healing.mama
The Adult Chair® Membership (November Theme: I am unique.) https://theadultchair.com/membership/
P&G Hair Food Or find on Amazon or Target.com
MORE ADULT CHAIR
The Adult Chair® Website
The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/
The Adult Chair® Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification
TAC Circles® https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/
STAY CONNECTED
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ | |||
| 288: The Gift of Triggers | 11 Nov 2021 | 00:32:08 | |
No one likes the feeling of getting triggered. But I fully believe that triggers are a GIFT (yes, I said it!).
Getting triggered is different from the pure emotion of anger or hurt at a situation. I’m talking about those quick, intense negative emotions that seem to rise up out of nowhere and might seem bigger than the situation you’re in.
While triggers often feel like they’re about someone else – the person who hurt us or made us mad – triggers are always about us.
Underneath these triggers is a painful belief, typically rooted in childhood wounding, that we’ve tried to shove into our subconscious mind so we don’t have to think about it or face it. The trigger brings this belief to the surface, and that’s why it feels so terrible.
But here is the gift: getting the belief out of the subconscious raises our awareness and gives us the opportunity to heal it! We just need to know what to do when we’re triggered.
In this episode, I’m helping you understand the psychology behind triggers, giving you three steps to slow your reaction when triggered and sharing a five-step process to work with and heal “shadow beliefs” once they’re revealed. Listen to discover:
When we work with our shadow beliefs, not only do we become healthier and more balanced versions of ourselves, but we also might find we get triggered less (yes, it’s possible!). It starts with resisting the urge to numb out our triggers and instead diving deep into what they’re trying to tell us – the gift of uncovering a hidden part of who we are.
"Triggers are reactions to our own childhood wounding." - Michelle Chalfant
"These thoughts that we have become beliefs about who we are." - Michelle Chalfant
"Whatever is going on in me is showing up in my reality." - Michelle Chalfant
"This trigger is inside of me, and this person is showing me." - Michelle Chalfant
"The key is to stay present – stay present and remember the gift." - Michelle Chalfant
"This is about making the unknown known." - Michelle Chalfant
LINKS & RESOURCES
All I want for my birthday is for you to help share the podcast! :) Leave a Podcast Review https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-adult-chair/id941317634?mt=2&ign-mpt=uo%3D4
30-Day Journaling Challenge https://theadultchair.com/30days/
P&G Hair Food Or find on Amazon or Target.com
MORE ADULT CHAIR
The Adult Chair® Website
The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/
The Adult Chair® Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification
TAC Circles® https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/
STAY CONNECTED
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ | |||
| 287: How Journaling Can Transform Your Life | 04 Nov 2021 | 00:26:20 | |
Doodling in a notebook, writing in a diary...what if I told you that those schoolkid activities were actually really powerful for your brain?
When we put pen to paper and let our hand go, we are able to access our subconscious mind in a truly incredible way. Journaling also connects us to our inner child and pulls in the energy of our Adult, bringing clarity to our lives and helping us connect to who we are, what we need, what we feel and what we want.
It’s absolutely incredible what can happen when we get a stream of energy flowing through our words!
In this episode, I’m sharing with you why journaling is such a powerful tool for transformation and the many benefits it can bring into your life. Journaling is a big part of The Adult Chair® – from the annual 30-Day Journaling Challenge to the self-discovery work in the membership – and today’s show is all about the WHY behind it.
I also give you some practical tips for how to overcome blocks and get started with a journaling practice + some free tools if you need extra guidance. Listen to discover:
The important thing is not how or when you journal, but making a commitment to journal! There are so many different ways and places to journal, but it’s when journaling becomes a practice that true transformation begins. Remember, it is self-loving to take 15 or 30 minutes a day to reconnect with and care for yourself. So, get yourself a pretty notebook (if that’s your thing), leave your phone in the other room and find a writing ritual that makes you feel refreshed and loved. I promise that your life will transform! “What I love about journaling is that when we put pen to paper, it's as if the doorway to our subconscious mind opens.” - Michelle Chalfant
“Once you get the stream of energy flowing through your words, so many amazing things happen.” - Michelle Chalfant
“It’s like we’re taking these ideas, these thoughts and these emotions out of the ethers and into our 3D reality, and as they come down through us, they get processed.” - Michelle Chalfant
“It’s not about, ‘When should I journal?’ The bigger question is, ‘Have you committed yet to journaling?’” - Michelle Chalfant
“Commitment to the practice of journaling is the first and most important step.” - Michelle Chalfant
LINKS & RESOURCES
30-Day Journaling Challenge https://theadultchair.com/30days/
P&G Hair Food Or find on Amazon or Target.com
MORE ADULT CHAIR
The Adult Chair® Website
The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/
The Adult Chair® Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification
TAC Circles® https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/
STAY CONNECTED
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ | |||
| 286: Feeling Alone on Our Healing Path with Karen Campion | 28 Oct 2021 | 00:41:10 | |
Starting a journey of healing or following a spiritual path in life can be one of the best things to ever happen to us. It totally transforms how we feel each day and gives us a sense of clarity and purpose in life. Unfortunately, it can also change our relationships – and not always in the way we want. I get messages all the time from listeners who have started working with The Adult Chair® or going to therapy who now feel disconnected from people they were once close to. Sometimes it’s friends and family who don’t understand the change they’re seeing in them. Other times, it’s that the person who has changed can no longer relate to certain friends or even feels like they and their partner are no longer on the same page. These “spiritual growing pains” can be so disorienting and scary! In today’s show, I’m chatting with my friend and fellow holistic therapist, Karen Campion, about what we can do when we feel alone on our healing path. Karen and I have been on similar healing journeys (I’m so thankful that she’s one person I’ve been on the same page with for years!), and we talk about how we’ve learned to trust our unique paths while also honoring the paths of others. Listen to discover:
Often, it’s our ego that makes us feel disconnected from others because we begin to feel superior in the path we’re on. This episode is an incredible reminder that every relationship serves a purpose in our life and that we can still connect with others who have a different life path than we do. The important thing is that we stick to the path we’re called to, surrender the relationships that are no longer a match and trust that we and those we love are exactly where they’re supposed to be. “There are people who sometimes aren’t going to match you anymore because you have outgrown them.” - Karen Campion “It’s about respecting your partner wherever they’re at.” - Karen Campion “Being on a spiritual path or healing path is something that is so beautiful but we want to really make sure and be mindful of when the ego gets engaged.” - Michelle Chalfant “Become really aware of what your loved ones mean and what their purpose might be on your life path.” - Michelle Chalfant “If you want to get other people in their Adult Chair, you get in yours.” - Michelle Chalfant “Surrender…is that inner attitude of trust.” - Karen Campion LINKS & RESOURCES
Karen Campion Website
Episode #117: The Power of Letting Go with Karen Campion https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/117-the-power-of-letting-go-with-karen-campion/
Episode #17: Finding Hope in the Face of Life’s Greatest Challenges https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/17-finding-hope-in-the-face-of-lifes-greatest-challenges/
“The Surrender Experiment” by Michael A. Singer https://www.amazon.com/Surrender-Experiment-Journey-Lifes-Perfection/dp/080414110X
“The Untethered Soul” by Michael A. Singer https://www.amazon.com/Untethered-Soul-Journey-Beyond-Yourself/dp/1572245379
30-Day Journaling Challenge - Sign Up Now (starts November 1) https://theadultchair.com/30days/
P&G Hair Food Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart
MORE ADULT CHAIR
The Adult Chair® Website
The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/
The Adult Chair® Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification
TAC Circles® https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/
STAY CONNECTED
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ | |||
| 285: The Gift of Authentic Communication with Blake Chalfant | 21 Oct 2021 | 00:36:25 | |
You guys...do I have a special episode for you this week or what. I was out in Portland visiting my son, Blake, when we had the most beautiful moment of authentic communication between us. With Blake’s permission, I flipped on my microphone, and we’re bringing you the first ever podcast with one of my kids on it! Blake is only 21, but I’m blown away by his wisdom and the healthy adult he is becoming. In the story we’re sharing with you today, Blake was actually the one who recognized when his ego got triggered and who initiated the communication between us, and I’d be lying if I said mom didn’t tear up a little over here! The moment we experienced together led us to a deep discussion about how the ego shows up in our lives, the peace that comes from authentic living, how we can communicate more authentically with the people in our lives, how to receive authentic communication and how essential it is to make sure we’re coming from a place of love as we do this work. Listen to discover:
When you hear the story of what happened, you will recognize that Blake and I didn't experience any conflict. However, Blake was aware of something that didn’t feel right internally about a conversation we had and leaned into that awareness to create an opportunity for more authentic communication. There would have been nothing wrong with letting it go and moving on, but that extra step was a chance to build a deeper connection...and that’s how we create more meaningful relationships! We step up, we get vulnerable and we share authentically with another. As Blake says, the best part is not just stronger relationships, but also that sense of alignment with ourselves and knowing we’re showing up how we want to show up for others...as our authentic selves! “The ego is the part of us that creates separation.” - Michelle Chalfant “You can’t be right (all the time) and have a deep connection with other human beings.” - Michelle Chalfant “When you’re the hero of your story, it doesn’t matter what other people are saying. It matters how you’re showing up for them.” - Blake Chalfant “Whether we agree with another person who is communicating with us or setting a boundary with us, how we receive that and express back is so key to deepening that relationship and creating safety in that relationship.” - Michelle Chalfant “We automatically defend as humans unless we have awareness.” - Michelle Chalfant “It just comes back to everything you do coming from the container of love.” - Blake Chalfant
LINKS & RESOURCES
Episode #283: Deeper Connections Through Vulnerability https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/283/
30-Day Journaling Challenge - Sign Up Now (starts November 1) https://theadultchair.com/30days/
P&G Hair Food Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart
MORE ADULT CHAIR
The Adult Chair® Website
The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/
The Adult Chair® Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification
TAC Circles® https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/
STAY CONNECTED
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/
| |||
| 284: Enmeshment, Codependency and Boundaries with Dr. Ken Adams | 14 Oct 2021 | 00:58:18 | |
Do you ever feel like you’re being disloyal to your family for having your own life? Or do you feel like you’re second fiddle to your partner’s parents? If so, you or your partner might come from an enmeshed family: a system of relating to each other that is based on dependency, guilt, obligation and too much closeness (yes, that can be a thing!). In today’s episode, I’m bringing back one of your favorite guests, Dr. Ken Adams, to talk about the important topic of enmeshment – and let me tell you, he is SUCH a wealth of knowledge! When I knew we were bringing Dr. Adams back, I asked The Adult Chair® community what you wanted to know about enmeshment and I was flooded with questions! So, I used this time with Dr. Adams to ask him YOUR questions – everything from the difference between codependency and enmeshment to what to do if your spouse is enmeshed with his or her family to how to let go as an enmeshed parent. I know you guys are so excited to have Dr. Adams back and to get your questions answered, and I am too! Listen to discover:
The key to recognizing enmeshment is to understand that it’s a connection bound by guilt. It goes beyond being caring and even beyond being codependent to the point of obligation, anger and being accused of disloyalty if you don’t follow the family system. These feelings of guilt can make it difficult to set boundaries, but if you stay in your Adult, sit with your emotions and hold those boundaries, freedom – and possibly a much healthier family overall – is waiting for you on the other side. “In those enmeshed systems, dependency is built on obligation and loyalty is driven by guilt.” - Dr. Ken Adams
“Autonomy and separateness feel like disloyalty.” - Dr. Ken Adams
“Sometimes outsiders are viewed suspiciously, which includes your spouse.” - Dr. Ken Adams
“Both partners are responsible for keeping out intrusions”. - Dr. Ken Adams
“Sometimes the guilt is a representation that you’re doing the right thing.” - Dr. Ken Adams
“You don’t let the guilt stop you from continuing the boundaries in that relationship.” - Michelle Chalfant
“It’s really building up self-worth around who am I now…who am I really underneath these masks that my parents put on me.” - Michelle Chalfant
LINKS & RESOURCES
Dr. Ken Adams Website https://www.overcomingenmeshment.com/
Episode #256: Understanding Enmeshment with Dr. Ken Adams https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/256/
Episode #276: Raising Teens from The Adult Chair® with Dr. Pam Staples https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/276/
30-Day Journaling Challenge - Sign Up Now (starts November 1) https://theadultchair.com/30days/
P&G Hair Food Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart
MORE ADULT CHAIR
The Adult Chair® Website
The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/
The Adult Chair® Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification
TAC Circles® https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/
STAY CONNECTED
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ | |||
| 409: Healing & Preventing Cancer with Dr. Katie Deming | 06 Jun 2024 | 00:56:05 | |
Hey everyone, today we're hanging out with Dr. Katie Deming, an oncologist with a whole new take on cancer care. Forget the usual clinical jargon – we're going deep into the world of conscious medicine.
Dr. Deming has this incredible story about how she moved from traditional to integrative oncology, bringing a holistic approach to well-being into her practice. We chat about how crucial things like diet, grounding, sunlight, and emotional work are in fighting cancer. If you're up for a chat about aligning your emotional, mental, and spiritual health to face illness, you're in the right place.
We also touch on the stresses of daily life and how to avoid them. Dr. Deming gives some tips like wearing blue blocker glasses and using grounding pads to improve your well-being.
Lastly, we chat about handling emotions during treatment and the importance of having the right people in your corner. Dr. Deming shares some powerful stories about visualization, the power of mindful communication in healthcare, and more.
This isn't just for people affected by cancer but anyone looking for a more conscious approach to health and life. So, if you're interested in a fresh look at medicine that puts patient independence and holistic healing front and center, give this a listen. In this episode, you will hear:
Resources from this Episode Katie’s website: katiedeming.com MORE ADULT CHAIR
The Adult Chair® Website
https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant
https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/
YouTube | |||
| 283: Deeper Connections Through Vulnerability | 07 Oct 2021 | 00:32:06 | |
As humans, we are all wired for connection and to feel like we belong. No one, even the biggest introvert on the planet, doesn’t want to feel connected with others.
But many of us find there is a gap between the connection we crave and the way we experience our relationships. We might have a loving marriage, a thousand Facebook friends, and a busy social calendar but something still feels empty.
That’s because to truly connect at a deep level, we have to get real and vulnerable with each other...and vulnerability is scary! Few of us really “go there” in our relationships, and this leaves us wanting something more.
But like anything else, vulnerability is a practice. It’s something we can all work to grow in our lives and start getting the relationships we really want. In this episode, I’m sharing with you the benefits of vulnerability, how to find safe people to practice vulnerability with, and the steps you can take to grow vulnerability and connection in your relationships.
Listen to discover:
If vulnerability still feels a bit scary, that’s ok! Practicing vulnerability is all about taking baby steps and increasing your comfort level with sharing with others. And as you begin to lead with vulnerability, you will automatically invite others to be vulnerable with you, building deeper connections and transforming your relationships! “When we start sharing on that level, we have the potential and the ability to then connect with others on that level.” - Michelle Chalfant “The deeper I can go within myself and get in touch with what’s going on inside myself, the deeper relationships I can have outside of self.” - Michelle Chalfant “As a good friend, it’s my job to mirror for her what’s going on.” - Michelle Chalfant “Vulnerability fosters intimacy.” - Michelle Chalfant “When we are vulnerable, there’s compassion for who we are.” - Michelle Chalfant “Humans are wired for connection and the feeling of belonging. Being vulnerable with another human being creates exactly that.” - Michelle Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES
30-Day Journaling Challenge - Sign Up Now (starts in November) https://theadultchair.com/30days/
TAC Circles® https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/
P&G Hair Food Or find at Bed Bath & Beyond, Amazon, Target or Walmart
MORE ADULT CHAIR
The Adult Chair® Website
The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/
The Adult Chair® Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification
TAC Circles® https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/
STAY CONNECTED
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ | |||
| 282: How to Change Negative Programs and Patterns with Adele Spraggon | 30 Sep 2021 | 01:05:32 | |
When you think about wanting to change or transform, what do you typically think of changing? Most of us think of a behavior or action – something we are doing. If we’ve been doing our work for a while, we might think of a thought pattern or belief.
But what if everything we do and think is just the tip of the iceberg? What if our actions, behaviors and beliefs are actually the manifestation of deep unconscious patterns in our brains, and if true transformation happens by transforming these patterns?
In this episode, I talk with the incredible Adele Spraggon, a behavioral change and brain expert, about what drives human behavior, why traditional methods of change fail and how we can identify and transform the unconscious patterns that drive our behavior without us even knowing it.
We’re covering so many topics from relationships to money (because the brain affects them all!), and you will learn Adele’s four-step process for working with negative patterns, even those in your subconscious mind.
I LOVED my conversation with Adele – a true soul sister who speaks The Adult Chair® language – and I know you will too.
Listen to discover:
Too often we try to change only the external or we try to simply work against the negative patterns in our brain, and we wonder why our lives don’t change. As you will learn in this episode, the key is that we have to get rid of the old pattern before we can replace it with a new one...and this episode will show you how!
“How we are taught to change behaviors is not effective. What we need to do is deal with our brain’s patterning instead of the actions that we're taking, the beliefs that we’re holding or the behaviors we’re adopting.” - Adele Spraggon “Between us and our situations, there lives an interpreter, and that interpreter is our brain.” - Adele Spraggon
“We create this roadmap from [age] 0 to 6 that we’re living in as adults.” - Michelle Chalfant
“Mindset originates in the unconscious patterning of the brain.” - Adele Spraggon
“I love triggers because so much is revealed in a trigger.” - Michelle Chalfant
“People don’t procrastinate. We avoid.” - Adele Spraggon
“Everything about who a person is today is the result of every pattern that has brought them here.” - Adele Spraggon
“The biggest gift you can give another person is to allow that person to show up brand new every time you see them.” - Adele Spraggon
LINKS & RESOURCES
Adele Spraggon Website https://www.adelespraggon.com/
“Shift: 4 Steps to Personal Empowerment” (Adele Spraggon Book)
The Adult Chair® Membership (October Theme: “I use my voice.”) https://theadultchair.com/membership/
P&G Hair Food Or find at Amazon, Target or Walmart
MORE ADULT CHAIR
The Adult Chair® Website
The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/
The Adult Chair® Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification
TAC Circles® https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/
STAY CONNECTED
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ | |||
| 281: How to Overcome Not Feeling Good Enough or Less Than | 23 Sep 2021 | 00:26:47 | |
Comparison is one of the ego’s favorite traps. When we fall into this trap, we make up all kinds of stories about others and turn a judgmental eye towards ourselves. With this comes feelings of inferiority, feeling less than and low self-worth. It’s no fun at all!
Inferiority feels so awful that most of us just want to run from it, silence it or numb it out...but this never works! Shoving our negative beliefs about ourselves into the subconscious only gives them more power. Instead, we have to look at them, work with them and transform them!
In this episode, which was inspired by questions from our listeners, I’m giving you five tools to not just quiet feelings of inferiority but to actually transform from feeling less than to feeling enough!
Listen to discover:
The process in this episode is so simple and easy to apply – it just takes intention and some energy from you to make this transformation in your life reality. And this is what we do from our Adult Chair...we bring consciousness into the traps of the ego and change our lives! Remember: I think you’re so amazing, and I hope the tools in this episode help you love yourself and live from the place of worthiness that you deserve!
“The ego can really chime in and compare us to others and make us feel less than.” - Michelle Chalfant “Numbing [feelings of inferiority] out is a lovely temporary fix, but it does not work.” - Michelle Chalfant “You’ve become who you are today because of all your life experiences, because of the choices you’ve made.” - Michelle Chalfant “When you hear yourself say, ‘Yeah, but,’ I want you to know your ego’s engaged.” - Michelle Chalfant “Nothing magical can get you out of this comparison. The only thing that can get you out of this is you.” - Michelle Chalfant “Having a really healthy relationship with your inner parts — that’s a game changer.” - Michelle Chalfant
LINKS & RESOURCES
Adult Chair® Coaches https://theadultchair.com/coaches/
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification
P&G Hair Food Or find at Amazon, Target or Walmart
MORE ADULT CHAIR
The Adult Chair® Website
The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/
The Adult Chair® Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification
TAC Circles® https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/
STAY CONNECTED
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ | |||