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Explore every episode of the podcast That Hoarder: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding

Dive into the complete episode list for That Hoarder: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding. Each episode is cataloged with detailed descriptions, making it easy to find and explore specific topics. Keep track of all episodes from your favorite podcast and never miss a moment of insightful content.

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TitlePub. DateDuration
REMIX: Why we over-shop and compulsively acquire, and how to stop, with Dr Jan Eppingstall09 Jan 202601:01:21

At this time of year, January sales are blazing and resisting a bargain can be tough. Listen back to this discussion with Dr Jan Eppingstall about compulsive acquiring and over-shopping, and find the full show notes and transcript here: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podcast-ep-54-compulsive-acquiring-and-hoarding-how-to-stop-with-dr-jan-eppingstall/

REMIX: OCD and hoarding disorder with Jenna Overbaugh02 Jan 202600:47:12

Relisten to an incredibly useful conversation with therapist Jenna Overbaugh, who treats people with OCD and has it herself, about how OCD and hoarding can interlink. See the full show notes and transcript here: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podcast-ep-56-ocd-and-hoarding-with-jenna-overbaugh/

REMIX: Therapy and hoarding disorder - what are the options? With Dr Jan Eppingstall26 Dec 202501:18:10

Revisit this informative episode with Dr Jan Eppingstall, who walks us through a range of therapy options for people who hoard. For the full show notes and transcript, see here: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podcast-ep-33-different-types-of-therapy-for-hoarding-disorder-with-dr-jan-eppingstall/

REMIX: ADHD and hoarding disorder with Professor Sharon Morein21 Dec 202500:46:17

Enjoy this deep dive into the research of Sharon Morein into hoarding and ADHD. For the full show notes and transcript, see here: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podcast-ep-40-adhd-and-hoarding-with-dr-sharon-morein/ 

#207 13 actionable pieces of mental health advice from six former podcast guests12 Dec 202500:53:05

This episode, I’ve pulled together the best mental health advice from every guest I spoke to over the past year - academics, therapists, organisers, and people with lived experience. Each of them shared a personal habit or practice that genuinely helps them cope or keep on top of their wellbeing, and I add a couple of my own strategies too.

Whether you’re navigating hoarding, supporting someone who is, or just looking for affordable ways to protect your own mental health, stick around for a mix of practical, honest tips to try for yourself.

  • Special Episode Format: Compilation of Guest Advice
  • Throughout the year, every guest was asked about habits or practices supporting their mental health.
  • Guest Contributions: Mental Health Habits and Practices
  • Harriet Impey (Episode 172)
  • Mindfulness and meditation, especially mindful self-compassion (inspired by Kristin Neff).
  • Practical examples: Being present, guided meditation, practicing non-attachment, and self-reflection on letting go of unhelpful arguments.
  • Dr Jan Eppingstall (Episodes 174 & 204)
  • Practicing gratitude to counterbalance negativity bias.
  • Unsubscribing from unwanted emails to reduce anxiety and overwhelm.
  • Interacting with pets for grounding and emotional well-being - petting animals as a stress reliever.
  • Visiting places where animals are accessible (e.g., city farms, pet shops, animal cafes).
  • Jasmine Sleigh (Episode 175)
  • Importance of good sleep for mental health.
  • Value of pleasurable activities like reading, and the paradox of sometimes resisting enjoyable activities (self-sabotage).
  • Reflection on how engaging in enjoyable pastimes is essential even when it's difficult to get started.
  • Sam (Episode 178)
  • Writing things down: Keeping lists of achievements and things to be grateful for, even small joys.
  • Acknowledging how gratitude doesn’t have to be grand - simple moments count.
  • Exercise, particularly running, or any activity that gets you outside of your current headspace (could be walking, volunteering, etc.).
  • The role of support from others to prompt new perspectives or activities.
  • Dr. Victoria Ruby-Granger (Episode 179)
  • Self-awareness and accepting what works for you, rather than trying to fit yourself to methods that don’t suit.
  • Emphasis on letting go of approaches that don’t align with your own needs, and being open to alternative strategies.
  • Carrie Lagerstedt (Episode 183)
  • Moral neutrality: Separating self-worth from issues like executive dysfunction, lateness, and messiness.
  • Reframing these traits as value-neutral rather than personal failings, helping to build self-esteem.
  • That Hoarder
  • Creative self-expression: Resentful journaling, collage, and visual arts—done primarily for personal expression, not for others’ approval.
  • Permission for creative works to be imperfect and focused on process over outcome.
  • Nature connection: Getting outside, paying attention to natural details (flowers, leaves, colours, wildlife), and practicing mindful observation to foster grounding and perspective.
  • Importance of self-compassion, giving oneself credit for small achievements (especially with meditation or walks).
  • Allowing yourself pleasurable, nurturing, or healing activities without guilt.
  • Noticing the bigger world and natural cycles as a counter to internal struggles.
  • Encouragement for listeners to reflect on which practices resonate and to share their own tips.

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#206 Finding connection and community when hoarding feels isolating28 Nov 202501:03:40

Hoarding disorder can feel deeply isolating, and finding genuine connection isn’t always straightforward.

In this episode, I talk about building community - both through hoarding-specific peer groups, online spaces, as well as simply nurturing friendships outside the home.

I share practical ways to reconnect, set boundaries, and remind yourself that you deserve care and companionship, whatever your home looks like.

  • The Relationship Between Hoarding and Isolation
  • How hoarding and isolation often accompany each other
  • Feelings of shame and concern about being misunderstood
  • Secrecy around hoarding, even from friends
  • Impact of loneliness on motivation and self-worth
  • The fundamental human need for connection
  • Finding Community: Hoarding-Specific Support
  • Benefits of speaking with others who “get” hoarding
  • Relief and authenticity in hoarding-focused communities
  • Misunderstandings and stigma around hoarding in general society
  • Shared language and understanding in dedicated groups
  • Types of Hoarding Communities
  • Peer support groups (both for people who hoard and for their loved ones)
  • Differences between in-person and online groups
  • Dehoarding accountability Zoom groups run by the host
  • Therapy groups led by professionals
  • Online forums, social media groups, and subreddits
  • Choosing a Support Group and Overcoming Barriers
  • The process of finding the right group for your needs
  • Not all groups will fit; trial and error is normal
  • Common barriers: fear of judgment, privacy concerns, and feeling overwhelmed
  • Exploring online versus in-person options based on comfort and access
  • Managing triggers and emotional challenges when joining a group
  • Broadening Community Beyond Hoarding
  • Importance of connection outside of the hoarding context
  • How hoarding can lead to progressive social isolation
  • Ways to set boundaries while still building relationships
  • Alternative Sources of Community & Connection
  • Joining hobby or interest-based groups (gardening, book clubs, crafts, etc.)
  • Attending classes and workshops (in-person or online)
  • Volunteering for shared causes and the benefits it offers
  • Engaging in outdoor activity groups for physical and mental health
  • Involvement in faith communities (acknowledging varied experiences)
  • Nurturing and Rekindling Friendships
  • The value of maintaining and nurturing friendships
  • Strategies for reconnecting with old friends (acknowledging awkwardness)
  • Personal anecdotes demonstrating successful reconnection
  • Maintaining and Deepening Existing Friendships
  • Creative ways of keeping in touch (memes, postcards, regular outings)
  • Showing care and interest without inviting people into your home
  • Importance of honesty about personal limitations
  • Navigating difficult moments with friends through gentle outreach
  • Building New Friendships
  • The importance of patience and consistent small efforts
  • Transitioning from casual acquaintance to meaningful connection
  • Reciprocity and mutual engagement as key to growing relationships
  • Natural pace of friendship development
  • The Value of Self-Compassion
  • Being a good friend to yourself while seeking social connections
  • Avoiding self-blame and catastrophic thinking
  • Recognising your own worth despite challenges related to hoarding
  • Taking Small Steps Toward Connection
  • Encouragement to take actionable, manageable steps to build community
  • Celebrating small efforts toward greater connection
  • Realistic expectations about gradual progress
  • Suggestions for relevant previous podcast episodes on loneliness, accountability, and community

Links

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#205 How to recover without burning out: using pacing to find your dehoarding rhythm22 Nov 202500:38:42

Getting on top of hoarding disorder isn’t about powering through in one big go. It’s all about slowing down, pacing ourselves, and making sure our approach is actually sustainable, both for our bodies and our minds.

In this episode, I talk honestly about the risks of burnout and emotional overload when we try to rush the process, and why giving ourselves permission to work in small, manageable steps is key.

I’ll share practical ways to set our own pace, spot the warning signs of pushing too hard, and celebrate the progress we make - even when it’s slower than we’d like.

  • The Nature of Recovery from Hoarding Disorder
  • Recovery isn’t a race or a sprint
  • Pressure to fix things quickly—internal and external
  • Debunking the ‘quick fix’ myth
  • Importance of sustainability in recovery
  • Physical Aspects of Dehoarding
  • Physical tasks: sorting, organising, donating, recycling
  • The relentless and exhausting nature of physical dehoarding
  • Risks of pushing too hard:
  • Physical exhaustion and injury
  • Impact of chronic pain, health problems, disability
  • Decision-making fatigue from exhaustion
  • The danger of creating a more overwhelming mess
  • Risks of Burnout
  • Burnout as a consequence of overexertion
  • Emotional impact: quitting, avoidance, dread
  • Dehoarding becomes associated with pain and suffering
  • Emotional Aspects of Pacing
  • Unique emotional relationships with possessions
  • Associations, memories, grief, nostalgia, identity
  • Anxiety and emotional flooding in decision-making
  • The consequences of pushing past emotional limits:
  • Panic, anxiety, rumination
  • Avoidance and procrastination
  • Loss of confidence in decisions
  • Swinging between extremes: keeping everything vs. discarding everything
  • The Impact of Emotional Flooding
  • Damaging relationship with recovery
  • Recovery viewed as painful or traumatic
  • Unrealistic expectations for overnight emotional change
  • Persistence of difficult emotional patterns despite progress
  • Non-Linear Nature of Progress
  • Understanding setbacks and relapses as part of the process
  • Importance of patience and realistic expectations
  • The need to build new emotional and cognitive pathways over time
  • Positive Signs of Emotional Progress
  • Ability to sit with discomfort and uncertainty
  • Recognising and managing patterns and triggers
  • Gradual increase in resilience and emotional tolerance
  • Recognising Gradual Physical and Emotional Recovery
  • Improved recovery time after difficult sessions
  • Growing confidence in handling challenges
  • Learning that healing and progress are not linear
  • Practical Approaches to Pacing
  • Time-based strategies:
  • Working in manageable time chunks
  • Scheduling regular breaks and days off
  • Focusing on sustainable, consistent sessions over marathons
  • Decision-based strategies:
  • Limiting the number of decisions per session
  • Identifying easier vs. harder tasks or categories
  • Quick wins to boost motivation
  • Checking in with oneself physically and emotionally during work
  • Building in soothing or rewarding activities post-session
  • Signs of Sustainable Pacing
  • Completing sessions feeling tired but not destroyed
  • Feeling able to return for future sessions without dread
  • Making decisions that feel good in retrospect
  • Enjoyment and pride in gradually improving one’s space
  • Adapting Pace to Life Circumstances
  • Pace varies with health, mood, season, responsibilities
  • Finding what works for the individual and the current season of life
  • Compassionate Recovery
  • The importance of self-compassion in setting and respecting limits
  • Celebrating progress and honouring our human experience

Links

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#204 Am I my things? When possessions define us: the psychological connection between identity, self-concept and hoarding with Dr Jan Eppingstall14 Nov 202501:21:21

On this episode, I’m joined by Dr Jan Eppingstall to unpack how our possessions connect with our sense of identity and self-concept, and why letting go can feel so threatening for those of us who hoard.

We talk through how objects hold meaning, memories, and dreams for the future, and what it looks like to build a stronger sense of self without clinging to things.

If you’ve ever felt like discarding something meant losing a part of yourself, you definitely want to listen to this one. We break down exactly why that fear happens and where to start.

  • A plant pot associated with negative experiences.
  • Discussion of emotional and aesthetic reasons for keeping vs. discarding.
  • Objects “glowering" at us.
  • Identity and Self-Concept in Hoarding
  • Definition of identity and self-concept.
  • Possessions and Sense of Identity
  • The psychological process of possessions intertwining with identity.
  • How this differs from typical sentimental attachment.
  • Retention itself (rather than use or display) as a meaning-making act in hoarding.
  • The difference between identity (roles, characteristics, life story) and self-concept (beliefs about self, worth, and abilities).
  • Typical patterns seen in people with hoarding disorder: fragmented identity, externalised identity via objects.
  • Psychological Fusion Between Identity and Possessions
  • The concept of "identity objects" — how discarding items feels like losing part of oneself.
  • Objects as external proof and storage for identity, memory, and meaning.
  • Safety of objects over human relationships.
  • The cycle of validation and shame in hoarding.
  • Pathways to Possession-Identity Fusion
  • Childhood experiences and boundary violations leading to control needs.
  • Identity confusion and external markers for self-definition.
  • Psychological ownership: objects as self-extension.
  • Functions of retained objects—proof of past, present, and future self.
  • Anthropomorphism and obligations to objects.
  • Executive function challenges: objects as external memory aids.
  • Perfectionism and fantasy identity protection.
  • Influence of cultural materialism and marketing.
  • The Fear of Losing Identity When Discarding Objects
  • "Throwing away part of myself."
  • Three psychological routes for ownership: control, intimate knowledge, and personal investment.
  • The role of control and avoidance of uncertainty.
  • The painful admission of poor judgment (e.g., unworn clothing) when discarding.
  • Possessions as Identity Markers
  • Retaining items from past roles (retired teachers, old job materials).
  • Holding onto objects representing hopes for future identity.
  • Objects as evidence for important life chapters, relationships, or personal history.
  • Psychological needs these objects serve and when that becomes problematic.
  • Books as Proof of Intellectual Identity
  • Discussion of books held as evidence of being intellectual, regardless of actual reading.
  • Exploration of how objects can become substitutes for action and risk.
  • Therapeutic approach to shifting identity building from possession to action.
  • Community and Connection in the Hoarding Journey
  • The loneliness and isolation frequently felt by people who hoard.
  • The importance of community, connection, and peer support, including podcast listeners and accountability sessions.
  • Effects of increased openness and connection on identity.
  • Identity Shifts During Dehoarding and Recovery
  • Changes in identity during the process of recovery and letting go.
  • Building new narratives — sometimes research or recovery itself becomes an identity.
  • Increased connection and belonging through shared experience and vulnerability.
  • Maintaining Identity Without Excessive Possession
  • Strategies for building identity through actions, creativity, and lived experience.
  • Selecting representative or truly meaningful items rather than keeping everything.
  • Observing how "non-hoarding" individuals make decisions about sentimental items.
  • Discomfort and growth opportunities in sharing one's journey while still in progress.
  • The value of authenticity and vulnerability.
  • First Steps for Listeners Fearing Loss of Self Through Discarding
  • Acknowledging that fear is rational and understandable.
  • Suggesting mindful observation of attachment thoughts.
  • Testing beliefs by gentle action, e.g., creative tasks with what is already available.
  • Finding supportive people for accountability and encouragement.
  • Reflective work on personal values — building identity from the inside.
  • Reassurance that identity predates possessions and is not dependent on them.
  • Objects as scaffolding rather than the core of one’s identity.
  • Encouragement to trust oneself and to start building stability from within.

Links

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#203 How to declutter when you can't reach your shelves07 Nov 202500:27:12

If you’re facing the frustration of knowing where your things belong but just can’t access your shelves or cupboards because there’s too much in the way, this episode is for you. I break down why piling things up with good intentions doesn’t actually solve anything, why decluttering comes before organising, and share honest strategies for making actual progress when your home feels overwhelming.

  • Barriers to Organising Due to Inaccessible Shelves
  • E.g. wanting to keep clothes but can’t access the wardrobe
  • Emotional impact: frustration and the cycle of blocked organisation
  • Layers and spread of clutter that block storage areas
  • The Vicious Cycle of Clutter and Organisation
  • How inaccessible shelves lead to piles that further compound the problem
  • The emotional fallout: self-blame and shame
  • Reframing the struggle as a symptom of hoarding disorder’s progression, not personal failure
  • Coping Strategies & Common Pitfalls
  • Temporary solutions (bags/boxes for items meant for inaccessible areas) and associated risks (forgetting what’s inside)
  • The “out of sight, out of mind” issue
  • Overestimating the capacity of designated spaces for stored items
  • Imperfect Progress and Starting Where You Are
  • Importance of starting without perfect access or planning
  • Emotional and practical aspects of starting with what’s immediately available
  • The danger of over-planning and the value of taking imperfect action
  • Building Momentum: Small Steps and Accessibility
  • Clearing even small spaces leads to broader clearing efforts
  • How minor improvements enable further progress
  • Core Issue: Volume Over Organisation
  • Identifying excessive possessions as the root problem, not lack of organisation
  • Emphasis that organising without decluttering only rearranges clutter
  • Professional advice: dehoarding and decluttering must come before organising
  • The Trap of Reorganisation Without Decluttering
  • The concept of “churn”—moving items around versus actual removal
  • How adding more storage increases clutter, not solves it
  • Real progress comes from discarding items and opening spaces
  • Regaining Access and Realistic Organisation
  • Regaining access to storage areas requires reducing overall volume
  • Setting realistic expectations for what storage spaces can hold
  • Organising solutions are secondary to decluttering
  • Practical Strategies for Decluttering
  • Picking a strategic spot or simply starting wherever you are
  • Focusing efforts (entrances, exits, specific goals, categories)
  • Opening neglected bags/boxes and revealing new priorities
  • Breaking down overwhelming tasks and celebrating small wins
  • Safety Considerations
  • Avoiding dangerous physical manoeuvres to reach blocked areas
  • Importance of asking for help and maintaining physical safety
  • Mindset and Momentum
  • Recognising and celebrating progress, no matter the size
  • Positive reinforcement to build motivation for ongoing decluttering
  • The Hard Truth: Volume Reduction is Essential
  • Acknowledging that reaching shelves requires lowering the overall volume
  • Practical details (where to put items temporarily) less important than reducing quantity

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#202 "Acting as if" for hoarding disorder01 Nov 202500:44:10

In this episode, I talk about the idea of "acting as if" - taking action before you fully believe you can, and using that to chip away at compulsive hoarding behaviours.

I share stories from my own life, including how channelling others’ confidence helped me move through paralysing shyness, and how small steps can help shift thinking around possessions and habits.

It’s all about behaving your way to progress, even when your feelings haven’t caught up yet. Listen in to find out more, including how to go about it without burning out or being retraumatised.

  • Introduction to "Acting As If"
  • Explanation of the “acting as if” concept: taking action before you truly believe in it
  • Shyness in childhood, learning to appreciate autumn)
  • Psychological Basis for "Acting As If"
  • Theory that action creates motivation
  • Contrast with waiting for motivation or readiness
  • Clarification: distinction from toxic positivity
  • Application to Hoarding Disorder
  • Connection between repeated cycles and hoarding behaviour
  • How new actions create evidence and lead to belief changes
  • Importance of breaking cycles of hoarding through behaviour change
  • Practical Strategies for Acting As If
  • Imagining how another person (someone without hoarding disorder) would act
  • Acting as if items are already gone to help with psychological closure
  • Acting as if you trust the process or expert advice
  • Acting as if you deserve a nicer home and greater self-worth
  • Acting as if letting go of items won’t be as painful as feared
  • Acting as if you can tolerate discomfort
  • Common Obstacles and Challenges
  • Feeling like a fraud or being inauthentic
  • New actions feeling unnatural
  • Comparison to physiotherapy exercises: discomfort as a sign of change
  • Intensification of difficult feelings and memories
  • Panic, grief, anger, fear
  • Navigating emotional responses and learning from them
  • Separating intense emotions from actual danger
  • Distinguishing between productive discomfort and harmful pushing
  • Productive discomfort vs. burnout or retraumatisation
  • Importance of support and learning moderation
  • Slipping up after success with “acting as if”
  • Giving yourself permission to start again
  • Using setbacks as data, not failure
  • Benefits of Acting As If
  • Reduction of analysis paralysis and cognitive overload
  • Achieving small wins and momentum
  • Disproving fears through new evidence
  • Gradual adaptation of beliefs and feelings to new behaviours
  • Brain’s capacity to notice new patterns and adapt
  • Tips and Encouragement for Trying “Acting As If”
  • Suggests listeners identify one area to test acting as if
  • Reassurance that belief is not required to begin
  • Details about the Chirp Your Home decluttering course

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REMIX: Hoarding disorder, Diogenes syndrome or squalor? With Dr Jan Eppingstall24 Oct 202500:44:22

I am full of germs and even huskier than usual, so this week, enjoy this fascinating conversation with Dr Jan Eppingstall, where we talk about hoarding disorder vs Diogenes syndrome vs squalor vs disposophobia vs syllogomania vs Plyushkin Syndrome vs Havisham Syndrome!

Phew!

You can get the full show notes and transcript here: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podcast-ep-116-hoarding-vs-squalor-vs-diogenes-syndrome-with-dr-jan-eppingstall/ 

#201 The myth of being prepared for every eventuality: how hoarding can make us less ready for emergencies17 Oct 202500:32:37

Many of us hoard because we believe we’re making ourselves ready for anything life throws at us, but the reality is that no amount of “just in case” clutter can truly prepare us for every scenario.

In this episode, I break down the myth of preparedness, explore how hoarding can actually make us less equipped for real emergencies, and talk about why resourcefulness matters much more than having piles of stuff.

  • The Myth of Being Prepared for Every Eventuality
  • Exploration of the comforting idea behind keeping possessions to be “ready” for anything.
  • Recognition that life is unpredictable and impossible to fully prepare for.
  • Infinite Possibilities vs. Realities
  • Discussion of how each item is kept for imagined infinite scenarios.
  • The logical impossibility of keeping items for every scenario (need for infinite space and money).
  • Emotional and anxiety-driven decision-making despite logical understanding.
  • Specificity of Items and Mismatched Preparation
  • Example of items with specific uses that don’t match actual needs when situations arise.
  • The paradox of saving more items not solving the mismatch issue.
  • Emphasis that saving more increases clutter but doesn’t increase preparedness.
  • Sensible Preparation vs. Over-Preparation
  • Differentiation between healthy, reasonable preparation (e.g., first aid kit) and hoarding excess.
  • The importance of context when deciding what to keep.
  • The Role of Resourcefulness
  • Real-life anecdotes (tampon as nosebleed fix, ballpoint pen tracheotomy) illustrating resourcefulness over mere possession.
  • Recognition of creativity and adaptability as coping strategies.
  • Importance of improvisation and problem-solving in handling emergencies.
  • Asking for Help and Community Support
  • Discussion of the difficulty and value in seeking help from others.
  • Mention of the podcast’s accountability sessions as a supportive community resource.
  • Irony of Over-Preparedness: How Hoarding Reduces Actual Preparedness
  • Analysis of how clutter inhibits effective response to emergencies (e.g., inability to locate items, blocked exits).
  • Emotional and mental burden caused by excessive possessions.
  • Emotional Drivers of Hoarding and Over-Preparedness
  • Exploration of the underlying anxieties and emotional needs that drive hoarding.
  • Misconception that acquiring more will eventually soothe anxiety.
  • Discussion about the lack of true satisfaction or security from excessive possessions.
  • The Illusion of Vindication
  • Occasional moments when a hoarded item becomes useful, creating a sense of justification.
  • Cost-benefit analysis: space, annoyance, energy, and opportunity cost versus occasional convenience.
  • Distinguishing Between Convenience and Necessity
  • Recognition that the vast majority of saved items are never useful.
  • Importance of resourcefulness and adaptability over keeping every possible item.
  • Everyday Adaptation and Coping
  • Examples of daily improvisation and making do (e.g., using coins as screwdrivers, managing without umbrellas).
  • Emphasis on resilience and ability to cope with small inconveniences.
  • The Trap of Occasional Justification
  • Analogy to gambling: occasional “wins” reinforce maladaptive habits.
  • Warning against letting rare vindications justify continued hoarding.
  • Embracing “Good Enough” and Trusting Future Capabilities
  • Acceptance that total preparedness is impossible.
  • Focus on nourishment, present needs, and trusting future resilience and creativity.
  • The freeing power of letting go of the need for complete preparedness.
  • True security and preparedness come from adaptability and trust, not material accumulation.

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REMIX: Overcome overspending and compulsive shopping with Paige Pritchard10 Oct 202501:16:04

This week, let's revisit a brilliant conversation I had with money coach Paige Pritchard all about overspending, compulsive shopping, and resisting the urge to binge buy. 

Get the full show notes and transcript here: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podcast-ep-127-overcoming-overspending-with-paige-pritchard-money-coach/ 

#200 Things I wish I'd known: a letter to Episode One Me03 Oct 202500:19:14

Reflecting on the journey from my terrified first recording to episode 200, I am talking today how speaking out brought connection, understanding, and a community I never thought possible. This episode is a letter to my past self, and it’s also to you. It’s honest about what’s changed, what’s still hard, and the unexpected power of not being alone.

If you’re struggling too, know you’re part of something bigger here.

  • Letter to Episode One Self
  • Emotional state during the podcast's inception (fear, isolation, shame)
  • Misconceptions about being alone with hoarding disorder
  • The unexpected journey and growth started by publishing the first episode
  • Early Understanding of Hoarding Disorder
  • Lack of knowledge about hoarding at the start
  • Pain of isolation and confusion
  • Limited exposure to terminology, research, and causes
  • Learning and Personal Growth Through the Podcast
  • Gained understanding about the science and psychology of hoarding
  • Insight into links with trauma, grief, ADHD, autism, and anxiety
  • Struggles and gradual improvements in managing inner critic
  • Realities of Recovery
  • No “quick fix” for hoarding disorder; non-linear progress
  • Importance of learning
  • Learning to discuss hard issues before they are resolved
  • Building a Community
  • Realisation of not being alone — over 400,000 plays
  • Listeners’ responses and the impact of shared stories
  • The growth of a supportive community, accountability calls, and new friendships
  • Challenging Shame and Secrecy
  • Confronting and gradually reducing shame through connection
  • The belief that shame was deserved begins to change
  • Disclosure of hoarding disorder to three real-life people and their supportive reactions
  • Helping Others Through Honest Sharing
  • Helps others feel less alone
  • Listeners gain courage, understanding, and the will to seek help
  • Gained Wisdom & Tools
  • Increased confidence, self-trust, and knowledge
  • Action, however small, is key to progress
  • Understanding that worth is not tied to cleanliness or orderliness
  • Recognition that recovery is more than just decluttering
  • Accepting Ongoing Struggles
  • Open acknowledgment that challenges persist
  • Emphasis on wisdom and resilience, not just results
  • Evolution as a Podcaster
  • Recognition of the podcast’s impact on the host and the community
  • Gratitude for guests and listeners
  • Encouragement to continue the journey, highlighting non-linearity and hope
  • Thanking podcast guests
  • Appreciation for both long-time and new listeners

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#199 Layers on layers: the many layers of hoarding disorder, from stuff to shame to identity26 Sep 202500:30:50

Hoarding is far more complicated than just clutter - there are layers upon layers, from the visible stacks of possessions to the hidden emotional weight, old identities, and tangled feelings of shame and secrecy.

In this episode, I talk through what these layers actually look like, why they make healing and recovery so tough, and how recognising them can help us start to move forward.

It’s about giving an honest look at how hoarding really is, and offering a bit of encouragement and understanding for anyone living with it.

  • Layers in Hoarding Disorder
  • Explanation of the concept of "layers"
  • Recognition of complexity in hoarding and recovery
  • Importance of understanding layers for self-awareness and change
  • Physical Layers of Stuff
  • Sorting belongings as an “archaeological dig”
  • Stories and histories attached to different layers of possessions
  • Practical observations about layers:
  • Top layer: Most recent or most-used items
  • Middle layers: Mixture of older and neglected items, representing different life periods
  • Bottom layers: Emotionally complex, broken, or “buried” items
  • How physical layers inform decluttering decisions
  • Emotional Layers in Hoarding
  • Surface emotions: annoyance, sadness, irritability
  • Deeper emotions: anxiety, fear of making wrong choices
  • Core emotions: grief, trauma, feelings of unworthiness or inadequacy
  • Guilt, anger, disappointment, and how these mix together
  • The idea of layering additional distress (as per Carolyn Spring)
  • Differentiating unavoidable pain from added self-blame
  • Focusing on agency in managing additional emotional layers
  • Cascading Layers: When Problems Create More Problems
  • Examples of problems compounding:
  • Physical issues (like leaks) made worse due to hoarding
  • Social isolation leading to more depression and worsened hoarding
  • Administrative issues (unpaid bills leading to fines)
  • Cycle of increasing overwhelm and powerlessness
  • Compassion for oneself in recognising these cycles
  • Layers of Identity
  • Complexity of personal identity in relation to hoarding
  • Public vs. private identities
  • Former, current, and future self-identities
  • The impact of possessions on perceived identity (e.g., holding onto teaching materials)
  • The difference between authentic identity and identity tied to objects
  • Layers of Time
  • Holding onto items as connections to the past
  • Present consequences of hoarding: overwhelm, panic, paralysis
  • Future-oriented worries: fear of needing items later
  • Spaces/items “frozen in time,” keeping people anchored to the past
  • Reflection on who we want to be now and in the future
  • Layers of Shame and Secrecy
  • Shame and secrecy as invisible yet heavy “layers”
  • How secrecy takes energy and perpetuates shame
  • Impact of secrecy on relationships and daily interactions
  • Barriers to seeking help caused by shame and secrecy
  • The process of being more open about hoarding
  • Navigating and Addressing the Layers
  • Emphasis on not needing to resolve all layers at once
  • The process of recognising and being patient with layers
  • Importance of support systems and therapy
  • Identifying helpful (protective or wise) layers versus harmful ones
  • Themes of self-compassion and validation for the complexity of the experience
  • Rejecting simplistic advice to “just get rid of stuff”
  • The process is about understanding and self-acceptance
  • Encouragement to approach oneself with patience and compassion
  • Closing remarks and reminders about podcast resources and support options

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#198 Intentionality and hoarding: how to move from reactive to purposeful decision making and action19 Sep 202500:43:29

Today I’m talking about how being intentional - basically doing things on purpose rather than on autopilot - can genuinely reshape how we deal with hoarding and our stuff.

I’ll share how intentionality helps us pause, make better decisions, and treat ourselves with more compassion, rather than reacting on impulse or out of habit.

Plus, I’ll look at how setting small boundaries and choosing to rest on purpose can all be important aspects of real, lasting change.

  • The transformative power of intentionality.
  • Setting the stage: How being intentional relates to what we keep, acquire, or discard.
  • What is Intentionality and Why Does it Matter?
  • Definition: Acting with purpose, consciousness, and awareness.
  • Impact on self-perception: How intentional actions can improve self-esteem and self-compassion.
  • Increasing the distance between stimulus and response.
  • Agency and empowerment: Transition from reactive to deliberate decision-making.
  • Examples (nature walks, acquiring possessions): Using intentionality to shape experiences and choices.
  • Intentionality vs. Reactivity in Hoarding-Related Decisions
  • Reactive behaviours: Impulse acquisitions and the resulting feelings of regret.
  • Intentional decision-making process: Steps and self-questioning (e.g., Do I need this? Does this fit my values?).
  • Intentionality in Dehoarding
  • Emotional barriers: Overwhelm, panic, and high-stakes feelings in hoarding/dehoarding.
  • The value of starting small: Engaging in micro-decisions with thoughtfulness.
  • Shifting mindset: Moving from resentment (“I have to") to choice ("I choose to”).
  • Language and self-talk: The impact of words on perception and action.
  • Boundaries: Establishing and maintaining intentional rules for oneself (e.g., only buying clothing in your current size).
  • Intentional Habits, Rituals, and Boundaries
  • Creating structure: Using rituals (tea, meditation, rewards) to make dehoarding sessions purposeful.
  • Habitual vs. intentional choices: Challenging default behaviors (e.g., always keeping old birthday cards).
  • Self-reflection: Using intentionality to question long-standing personal rules.
  • Intentional Inaction: Choosing Not to Act
  • Recognising when rest is necessary: The difference between intentional rest and giving up.
  • Personal example: Planning for difficult days by intentionally not scheduling activities.
  • Self-compassion: Allowing yourself to rest without self-judgment.
  • Rest, Self-Care, and Challenging Productivity Myths
  • Importance of rest in the decluttering process.
  • Distinguishing between caring rest and avoidance.
  • Encouraging self-compassion and recognising limits.
  • Navigating Grey Areas in Intentionality
  • The challenge of self-deception: When “intentionality” masks hoarding justifications.
  • Tools for discernment: Grounded vs. anxiety-driven decisions.
  • Value alignment: Considering whether choices support personal values and goals.
  • Managing Setbacks and Self-Compassion
  • Responding to slip-ups: Viewing mistakes as data, not failure.
  • Problem-solving: Analysing triggers and adjusting future behaviour.
  • Avoiding all-or-nothing thinking: Reframing setbacks and maintaining momentum.
  • Building an Intentionality Practice
  • The ongoing nature of intentionality: It’s a skill developed over time.
  • Practical applications: Small daily decisions (e.g., washing dishes immediately).
  • Mindfulness: Checking in with thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations.
  • Encouragement: Be patient with yourself - progress, not perfection.
  • The cumulative power of intentional decisions.

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#197 Holding our nerve: navigating urges and building tenacity in breaking hoarding behaviours13 Sep 202500:33:49

Today I’m talking about what it really takes to stick to our dehoarding decisions - how to resist urges, tolerate discomfort, and actually follow through, even when it’s tough. I’ll share why holding our nerve matters, what gets in the way, and some strategies to help avoid falling back into old patterns. Plus, there’s a practical top tip at the end to help boost your self-care this month.

  • Holding Our Nerve
  • Explanation of the gap between deciding to act and actually taking action when dehoarding
  • Definition in Hoarding Context
  • Persistence in sticking to healthy, productive decisions
  • Managing urges to revert to hoarding behaviours
  • Commitment to goals for sustainable progress
  • Reference to Amelia Earhart’s quote about decision-making and tenacity
  • “Paper tigers” explanation – things we fear that seem big but aren’t as powerful as they appear
  • Application to Hoarding Behaviour
  • Resisting Acquiring Items
  • Examples: bargain shopping, free items, online shopping temptations
  • Enduring Discomfort in Dehoarding
  • Tolerating emotional and physical discomfort during the dehoarding process
  • Maintaining Long-term Commitment
  • Remembering reasons for setting goals in the first place
  • Avoiding short-term gratification and honouring original decisions
  • Hoarding as a Coping Mechanism
  • Exploration of how and why hoarding behaviours develop and persist
  • Acknowledging that they once served a purpose and understanding possible current motivations
  • Strategies for Holding Our Nerve
  • Breaking the Cycle
  • Recognising urges and patterns
  • Learning from successes and setbacks
  • Decision-Making vs. Tenacity
  • Differentiating between difficulty in deciding versus following through
  • The importance of honouring previous decisions
  • Reminders and Motivation
  • Recalling the “why” behind goals (better living conditions, consequences, self-improvement)
  • Using motivational tools (e.g., visual reminders, Pinterest boards)
  • Compassion and Flexibility
  • Allowing for Mistakes
  • Emphasis on not seeking perfection, just consistent progress
  • Adjusting Expectations
  • Recognising that personal best varies from day to day
  • Trusting the process, even during discomfort
  • Building the “Dehoarding Muscle”
  • Each successful decision builds strength and determination for future efforts
  • Identifying and Addressing Triggers
  • Internal Triggers
  • Decision fatigue, emotional attachment, mental and physical exhaustion, anxiety or depression
  • Self-doubt and “what if I need it?” thoughts
  • External Triggers
  • Specific shops, websites, sales, or social pressure from others
  • Discouragement, overwhelm, enticing offers, or resistance from people uncomfortable with change
  • Planning Around Triggers
  • Identifying personal stumbling blocks and creating plans to avoid or counteract them
  • Coping Tactics for Urges
  • Acknowledgment & Self-Reflection
  • Naming feelings and urges to reduce their power
  • Recognising patterns and underlying needs (e.g., hunger, mood)
  • Nervous System Regulation
  • Using grounding techniques, calming objects, self-talk, and other anxiety-management tools
  • Allowing oneself to feel discomfort without acting on it
  • Dealing with “What If I Need It?” Thoughts
  • Trusting future self to be resourceful
  • Breaking down hypothetical worries and seeking alternatives
  • Importance of Support Systems
  • Building and Using Support Networks
  • Therapists, friends, accountability groups (Zoom sessions), online communities
  • Support as both emotional (crying, laughing) and practical (advice, checks on decisions)
  • Loneliness and Variations in Support
  • Recognition that not everyone has support, with encouragement to proactively seek help
  • Mention of a related episode on loneliness
  • Self-Compassion and Learning from Setbacks
  • Self-forgiveness and Reflection
  • Importance of forgiving oneself instead of engaging in self-punishment
  • Analysing situations where nerve was lost to prevent future recurrences
  • Practical Planning
  • Strategies for managing triggers, such as only shopping with someone else or removing items quickly

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#196 Trusting our future selves to be resourceful with Dr Jan Eppingstall05 Sep 202501:12:23

This episode, I’m joined by Dr Jan Eppingstall to talk about why so many of us who hoard struggle to trust our future selves to cope without keeping everything “just in case.”

We get into how doubts about our own resourcefulness and fears about scarcity keep us stuck, and share practical ways to build confidence in our ability to handle whatever comes next.

If you’ve ever worried you won’t manage without every single spare part or backup item, this conversation’s for you.

  • Trusting Our Future Selves to Be Resourceful
  • The psychological struggle of believing in one’s ability to cope without keeping everything
  • Personal anecdotes from the host about surprise resourcefulness
  • Exploration of cognitive distortions surrounding trust in future adaptability
  • Resourcefulness in Hoarding Behaviour
  • Contradiction: Resourceful justifications for keeping items vs. fear of not being resourceful if they’re discarded
  • The role of loss aversion and catastrophic scarcity thinking
  • Imagining multiple uses for broken items versus inability to visualise coping without them
  • The ‘Just in Case’ Myth
  • Reading and analysis of Ru Kotryna’s Instagram post on ‘just in case’ keeping
  • Discussion of how this reflects distrust in future self
  • Emotional impacts: fear of change, sufficiency, and facing the future without backup
  • How Distrust in Future Selves Manifests in Hoarding
  • ‘Insurance hoarding’ and duplicate/back-up keeping
  • Information hoarding for fear of forgetting needed details
  • Emotional insecurity and sense of powerlessness
  • Host’s personal examples (nature as a self-soothing tool and fear of its impermanence)
  • Navigating Ephemerality and Change
  • Conversation about the fleeting nature of things and the difficulty in accepting impermanence
  • Reflection on attempts to freeze time by hoarding
  • Behaviours and Thoughts Stemming from Lack of Self-Trust
  • Executive function issues (planning, organisation, working memory)
  • Trauma and past experiences of genuine scarcity
  • Shame and immediate anxiety-reduction through keeping
  • Avoidance and ‘comfort objects’ as safety strategies
  • Psychological Mechanisms Behind ‘I Don’t Trust Future Me’
  • Discontinuity between current and future self
  • Impact of ADHD and perimenopause on executive functioning and time perception
  • Cognitive gaps between imagining needs and recalling/locating stored things
  • Irony of ‘preparedness’ leading to greater unpreparedness
  • Building Trust in Future Resourcefulness
  • The value of journalling resourceful moments
  • Small experiments: let go of duplicates and record how needs are met afterward
  • Reviewing past examples of having coped or improvised successfully
  • Consumerism and the Illusion of Solutions
  • Attraction to gadgets and solutions for perceived problems
  • The sunk cost fallacy and struggles to let go
  • Owning up to aspirational or impulse purchases and being flexible in letting go if they don't work
  • Scarcity Thinking and Its Long-Term Effects
  • Personal stories of genuine scarcity and the enduring fear it creates
  • How fear of not having enough directs attention to objects as solutions, rather than inner resourcefulness
  • Difficulty breaking the object-focused habit even after circumstances change
  • Breaking the Pattern: Psychological Approaches in Therapy
  • Building evidence of existing skills and resourcefulness
  • Addressing deeper self-worth issues and messages from childhood
  • The importance of social connections, seeking help, and curiosity
  • The Power and Pitfall of Backup Systems
  • Possessions as emotional and practical backup
  • Drawback: Items often become inaccessible or forgotten
  • The paradox of keeping as “preparation” that often fails in practice due to volume and executive dysfunction
  • Strengthening Connection with Future Self
  • Using ACT techniques and self-compassion
  • Treating your future self like a friend and planning for their needs
  • Internal monologues about preparing spaces and making life easier for future-you
  • Alternative Pathways to Security and Preparedness
  • Community and social resource sharing (borrowing, lending among friends/family)
  • Developing adaptability, self-confidence, and skills rather than accumulating more items
  • Experimenting with minimalism and embracing uncertainty
  • Actionable Steps for Building Trust in Resourcefulness
  • Saying “I’ll figure it out when I need to”
  • Experimenting with running out of non-critical supplies
  • Documenting and reflecting on resourceful problem-solving
  • Letting go of low-risk items and noticing outcomes
  • The reminder that listeners have survived all past problems resourcefully
  • Encouragement to recognise and trust personal growth and capabilities
  • Emphasis on learning, adaptability, and present-focused living

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REMIX: Executive dysfunction and hoarding disorder with Dr Jan Eppingstall29 Aug 202501:40:52

I really hope to be back with new episodes for you next week but, in the meantime, enjoy this incredible conversation with Dr Jan Eppingstall all about executive function, executive dysfunction, and hoarding. 

Find the show notes and episode transcript here: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podcast-ep-112-executive-function-executive-dysfunction-and-hoarding-with-dr-jan-eppingstall/

REMIX: 23 dehoarding tasks you can get done in a weekend22 Aug 202500:49:16

Today, as we go into the weekend (and it's a long weekend here in the UK), get some ideas for weekend-shaped dehoarding tasks you can really get your teeth into.

Find the full show notes and transcript here: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podcast-ep-90-23-dehoarding-tasks-you-can-achieve-in-a-weekend/ 

REMIX: Tracy McCubbin on having a parent who hoards and becoming a professional organising superstar15 Aug 202501:16:15

"Really early on, I was like, this isn't about the stuff. This just isn't about the stuff." - Tracy McCubbin.

Today, we’re revisiting this episode with podcast favourite Tracy McCubbin, about being the child of a hoarder and becoming a professional organiser.

Find the full show notes and transcript here: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podcast-ep-78-from-child-of-a-hoarder-to-professional-organiser-an-interview-with-tracy-mccubbin/ 

 

REMIX: Grief, loss and hoarding disorder with Dr Jan Eppingstall08 Aug 202501:17:22

Today, we’re revisiting this episode with the inimitable Dr Jan Eppingstall about how grief, bereavement and loss are often knitted into hoarding disorder.

Find the full show notes and transcript here: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podcast-ep-63-grief-and-loss-and-hoarding-with-dr-jan-eppingstall-of-stuffology/ 

REMIX: Chronic disorganisation and hoarding disorder with Jo Cooke from Hoarding Disorders UK01 Aug 202500:38:06

Today, we're revisiting this episode with the wonderful Jo Cooke from Hoarding Disorders UK about chronic disorganisation, what it has in common with hoarding, and how it differs. Find the full show notes and transcript here: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podcast-ep-139-chronic-disorganisation-with-jo-cooke-of-hoarding-disorders-uk/ 

 

 

#195 Why is it so hard to deal with uncertainty in hoarding disorder? With Dr Jan Eppingstall25 Jul 202501:01:30

Why is it so hard to deal with uncertainty, and what does that have to do with hoarding? This week I’m joined by Dr Jan Eppingstall to unpack how our brains handle ambiguity, why fear of making mistakes can keep us stuck, and how intolerance of uncertainty feeds into hoarding behaviours. We break down practical ways to build up your tolerance for not knowing and share some strategies that might actually make a difference.

  • Uncertainty and Its Challenges
  • Definition and context of uncertainty
  • Evolutionary reasons for discomfort with uncertainty (Selfish Brain Theory)
  • Contrast between historical resource scarcity and modern abundance
  • Our minds’ outdated ways of managing uncertainty
  • Cognitive Closure
  • What is cognitive closure?
  • Difference between cognitive closure (psychological need for definite answers) and “closure” in pop culture (emotional resolution)
  • How it relates to need for certainty in present/future, not just past events
  • The creation of cognitive closure measurement scales by researchers
  • Factors influencing need for cognitive closure:
  • Personality traits: Conscientiousness, neuroticism (now called emotionality), openness to experience, extroversion
  • Trauma history and its effects on the nervous system
  • Neurodivergence (with emphasis on autism and “sticky thinking”)
  • Combination of personality, trauma, and neurodivergence
  • Intolerance of Uncertainty
  • Psychological definition of intolerance of uncertainty
  • Negative cognitive bias: How it affects perception and response
  • Manifestations in people experiencing uncertainty as distress
  • Its direct relevance to hoarding behaviours
  • The Link Between Hoarding Disorder and Intolerance of Uncertainty
  • Research findings: intolerance of uncertainty as a predictor of hoarding symptom severity
  • Usefulness in early intervention strategies
  • intolerance of uncertainty as a transdiagnostic factor (across anxiety, some depression, and other mental health conditions)
  • How heightened anxiety sensitivity in hoarding perpetuates avoidance
  • Experiential avoidance in hoarding (saving and acquiring behaviours)
  • Connection between maladaptive behaviours and intolerance of uncertainty
  • Fear of Making Mistakes and Perfectionism
  • Common fears of mistakes in hoarding (disposing, acquiring, putting things away)
  • Perfectionism’s role (fear of failure, not wasting)
  • All-or-nothing thinking and rigid decision-making rules
  • Paralysing effect of avoidance due to fear of mistakes
  • Not making a decision as a potential mistake itself
  • Interaction and reinforcement between perfectionism and intolerance of uncertainty
  • Comorbidity and Severity
  • Research on multiple diagnoses: More than half of psychiatric patients have more than one diagnosis
  • Diagnostic challenges and overlapping criteria
  • How comorbidity compounds issues: More symptoms and more complexity
  • Higher intolerance of uncertainty linked with more severe hoarding, especially when other conditions are present
  • Impact on treatment difficulty
  • intolerance of uncertainty’s Impact on Acquiring and Discarding Behaviours
  • How acquiring reduces fear of missing out and future needs
  • Difficulty discarding as protection against future regret
  • Shame around mistake-making
  • Common inner questions: Future use, responsibility, relationships
  • More complexity leading to more avoidance
  • Nuances in intolerance of uncertainty and Hoarding
  • Study on sub-factors of uncertainty:
  • Factor 1: Negative self-referential implications (linked to hoarding severity)
  • Factor 2: Perception of uncertainty as unfair (not linked)
  • Internal vs. external perspectives on uncertainty
  • Relevance of anxiety-driven self-criticism
  • Changing Relationship to Uncertainty: Curiosity and Reframing
  • Rilke’s quote on “loving the questions”
  • Transforming approach from fear to curiosity
  • Curiosity as a therapeutic tool
  • Creativity in imagining alternatives and solutions
  • Relevance of loss aversion and cognitive biases
  • Modern Life and Uncertainty Intolerance
  • Research linking increased use of technology (instant answers) to rising intolerance of uncertainty
  • Smartphone/information overload and decreased tolerance “muscle”
  • Relevance to hoarding (desire for backups, information saving)
  • Example: IMDb, screenshots, saving digital info
  • Treatment Strategies
  • Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) effects on intolerance of uncertainty in anxiety
  • Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and exposure-based methods: Pros and cons
  • Importance of a therapist experienced in error-related distress and uncertainty
  • Key skills: Observing distress, sitting with uncomfortable feelings, gradual exposure
  • Self-help approaches:
  • Reframing mistakes as learning
  • Practicing self-compassion
  • Values-based decision-making
  • Systematic exposure to small errors
  • Gradually breaking rigid rules (e.g., waste, tidiness)
  • Recognising individual differences and seeking appropriate support
  • Embracing Mistakes and Humanity
  • Learning from therapist/client anecdotes
  • Cultural expectations around perfectionism vs. real human messiness
  • How mistakes can be positive or even entertaining
  • Letting go of the need for perfection
  • The Four Cs for Managing Uncertainty
  • From Elizabeth Weingarten: Curiosity, Conversation, Community, Commitment
  • How to foster each:
  • Curiosity: Approach with questions and exploration
  • Conversation: Discuss uncertainties with trusted people
  • Community: Build social support
  • Commitment: Dedication to exploring questions and knowing when to let go

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REMIX: 31 things you can dehoard today if you don't know where to start18 Jul 202500:49:08

Today, let's revisit this episode with 31 things you can dehoard today if you're stuck and don't know where to start. You can find the full episode transcript and show notes here.

 

#194 Transformation and comfort do not live in the same house: rethinking comfort zones, familiarity, and change11 Jul 202500:26:07

Transformation and comfort rarely go hand in hand, especially when it comes to overcoming compulsive hoarding.

In this episode, I talk honestly about why making real change means facing discomfort, based on a quote from Healing Justice London that “transformation and comfort do not live in the same house”.

I challenge us to identify the difference between familiarity and comfort, and share practical ways to push through those tough moments - because growth comes from getting a bit uncomfortable.

If you’re tired of mistaking chaos for comfort, this one’s for you.

  • “Transformation and comfort do not live in the same house” (Healing Justice London)
  • The universal truth behind the idea
  • The necessity of discomfort for real transformation
  • Discomfort Versus Comfort in the Hoarding Context
  • Familiarity as a source of “comfort” for those who hoard
  • Risks of equating familiarity with true comfort
  • The need for change and its inherent discomfort
  • Examples of positive outcomes after embracing discomfort
  • The Reality of Discomfort in Dehoarding
  • Emotional and physical challenges of dehoarding
  • Potential for overwhelming feelings and anxiety
  • Catastrophising and perfectionism surrounding decision-making
  • Emotional toll of letting go and possible identity implications
  • Acknowledgement that discomfort does not mean failure
  • Familiarity Versus Authentic Comfort
  • Distinction between feeling comfortable and something being familiar
  • The false sense of control and security provided by clutter
  • The actual consequences of living in a hoarded home:
  • Physical hazards (tripping, blocked access, risk in emergencies)
  • Social isolation and shame
  • Lack of practical comfort (e.g., not sleeping in one’s own bed)
  • The hidden, ongoing “slow burn” of stress and discomfort
  • Motivation and Community
  • Importance of recognising the true discomfort of living with hoarding
  • Community connections via the podcast and accountability Zoom sessions
  • Methods to share resources and reduce isolation
  • Reframing Discomfort as Growth
  • Viewing discomfort as a sign of progress rather than a warning
  • The parallel discomforts of both dehoarding and continuing to hoard
  • Making conscious choices between competing difficulties
  • Strategies for Managing Discomfort
  • Taking small, manageable steps to build resilience
  • Being gentle and compassionate with oneself during the process
  • Reaching out for support (friends, family, therapist, peer groups)
  • The use and benefit of accountability sessions
  • The Broader Benefits of Transformation
  • Improved physical space and wellbeing
  • Increased self-confidence and pride
  • Better relationships and decreased shame
  • Regaining practical functionality and freedom at home
  • Enhanced overall quality of life
  • Practical Suggestions and Further Resources
  • Trying a small, uncomfortable but positive task today
  • References to previous episodes for deeper exploration:
  • Sitting with discomfort and distress tolerance (Episode 49)
  • Building resilience (Episode 70 with Dr. Jan Eppingstall)

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Buy your copy of Everything You Need to Know About Hoarding by Dr Lynne Drummond at cambridge.org/EverythingHoarding, and get 20% off with the discount code HOARDING20. #ad

#193 Laziness is a myth. Here's what's actually going on04 Jul 202500:41:13

In this episode, I unpack the myth of laziness and why it’s such a damaging label for people with hoarding disorder.

I’ll break down how blaming ourselves or others for being “lazy” ignores the real barriers - like overwhelm, poor mental health, executive dysfunction and more - and just piles on more shame.

Let’s get honest about what’s actually holding us back and why reframing this idea matters.

  • The Myth of Laziness in Relation to Hoarding
  • Revisiting a previous episode’s question: Are hoarders lazy?
  • Arguments against the idea (hoarded homes require more energy to live in, etc.)
  • The aversion to external intervention reveals deeper issues than laziness
  • Societal attitudes towards rest and productivity
  • Internalised and external accusations of laziness
  • The damaging effects: shame, isolation, distress
  • Understanding Hoarding as a Mental Health Issue
  • Hoarding as a coping method for difficult emotions
  • Judgments of laziness overlook the disorder’s complexity and nuance
  • Such labels add barriers to seeking help and reinforce stigma
  • Consequences of Labelling People who Hoard (or Ourselves) as Lazy
  • Shame and self-criticism deepen the problem
  • Laziness as a simplistic explanation that ignores underlying issues
  • Possible root causes: executive dysfunction, decision-making difficulties, emotional attachment to items, avoidance, depression, physical disability, etc.
  • The Harmful Cultural Narrative Around Laziness
  • Societal pressures to be constantly productive
  • Inaccuracies of the “we all have the same 24 hours” myth
  • Differences in time and capability due to systemic inequalities
  • Examples: physical ability, mental health, neurodivergence, responsibilities, discrimination
  • Moral and Social Implications of the “Lazy” Label
  • Care tasks are morally neutral (reference to KC Davis, episode 82)
  • The negative cycle: shame leads to paralysis, makes it harder to seek help and make progress
  • Laziness label used as a justification for lack of societal support
  • Political and social consequences for marginalised groups
  • Importance of community, support, and helping each other
  • The Danger of Linking Self-Worth to Productivity
  • The toxic culture of non-stop productivity and hustling
  • Problems with feeling guilty for resting
  • The spiral of self-worth being tied to continuous output
  • The Limiting Nature of the Laziness Concept
  • It shuts down further exploration of underlying problems
  • Missed opportunities for self-compassion, empathy, and effective assistance
  • Underlying Reasons for Struggles That Are Mistaken for Laziness
  • Lack of motivation: exhaustion, depression, overwhelm
  • Overwhelm due to the scale of the task
  • Executive dysfunction (planning, initiating, processing tasks)
  • Fear (of the process, of making wrong decisions, of consequences)
  • Fatigue, burnout, and mental health struggles
  • Being practically or emotionally stuck, lacking skills or knowledge
  • Societal Structures and Individual Blame
  • Blame placed on individuals ignores wider systemic and commercial influences
  • Industries profit from reinforcing personal inadequacy (beauty industry analogy, storage solutions)
  • The cycle of self-blame, shame, and attempts to “fix” via consumerism
  • Breaking the Cycle and Moving Forward
  • Recognising the myth of laziness enables real progress
  • Compassion, curiosity, and support as healthier responses
  • Encouragement for self-acceptance and seeking genuine solutions

Buy your copy of Everything You Need to Know About Hoarding by Dr Lynne Drummond at cambridge.org/EverythingHoarding, and get 20% off with the discount code HOARDING20. #ad

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#192 What if we make mistakes on purpose? The unlikely freedom of doing things badly and letting yourself run out27 Jun 202500:35:45

Today I’m talking about why letting yourself make mistakes - like running out of everyday items or doing things imperfectly - can actually help if you’re struggling with hoarding.

From challenging perfectionism to rethinking the fear of scarcity, I’ll share how embracing messiness can move us forward. Plus, I’ll offer practical ideas for easing those fears and making progress, one small, imperfect step at a time.

  • Announcement of new dates for Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Sessions.
  • Aimed at connecting people who hoard for conversation and simultaneous decluttering.
  • Details on how to get tickets and availability through several upcoming months.
  • The Value of Making Mistakes
  • Challenging the idea of perfection and fear of making mistakes.
  • Proposing the benefits of allowing oneself to:
  • Make more mistakes.
  • Run out of things occasionally.
  • Do things imperfectly or “half-arsed.”
  • Identifying how fear of mistakes and perfectionism can keep people stuck in hoarding behaviours.
  • Perfectionism and Fear of Scarcity
  • Perfectionism:
  • Fear of making the “wrong” decision leads to inaction or keeping everything.
  • Uncertainty about the future and anxiety about discarding items.
  • All-or-nothing thinking: If it can't be done perfectly, it’s not worth starting.
  • Personal reflection on the struggle with perfectionist tendencies.
  • Fear of Scarcity:
  • “Keep it just in case” mentality.
  • Stemming from past experiences of poverty or deprivation.
  • How personal history and upbringing foster scarcity-based behaviours.
  • Recognition that such fears can be irrational and still hold significant power.
  • How this fear leads to over-acquisition and reluctance to discard.
  • Addressing Perfectionism and Scarcity (Mindset Shifts)
  • Techniques to gently challenge perfectionism and scarcity fears.
  • Reframing mistakes as learning opportunities rather than failures.
  • Allowing for experimentation as a method of progress.
  • Embracing Mistakes as a Path Forward
  • Learning from mistakes as a source of growth and behaviour change.
  • Normalising occasional regrets over discarding or not acquiring something.
  • Comparing the cost of keeping everything versus the occasional “mistake.”
  • Observing emotional responses to mistakes as a way to learn and build decision-making confidence.
  • Encouragement to start with low-risk decisions and build up “dehoarding muscle” gradually.
  • Allowing Things to be Done Imperfectly
  • Encouragement to “do things badly” rather than waiting for perfect execution.
  • “Done is better than perfect” as a motivating principle.
  • The danger of all-or-nothing thinking leading to perpetual inaction.
  • Practical examples of doing small tasks imperfectly:
  • Tackling a small part of a larger problem (e.g., half a shelf).
  • Donating a partial bag of items.
  • Taking any step forward, even imperfect ones, counts as progress.
  • Allowing Yourself to Run Out of Things
  • Creative and resourceful solutions arise when supplies run low.
  • Examples from daily life (cooking, art journalling) where scarcity breeds creativity.
  • Differentiates between essential items and those where running out is an acceptable risk.
  • Suggestions for consciously assessing what’s truly necessary to keep in stock.
  • Experimental Mindset: Treating Dehoarding as Data Collection
  • Each decision - successful or not - provides valuable data for future choices.
  • Building confidence and capability for bigger, more challenging decluttering decisions over time.
  • Summary and Reinforcement of Key Points
  • Allow for imperfection, mistakes, and occasional scarcity.
  • Importance of starting with manageable steps and celebrating imperfect progress.
  • “Done is better than perfect”—taking action, however small, is crucial.

Buy your copy of Everything You Need to Know About Hoarding by Dr Lynne Drummond at cambridge.org/EverythingHoarding, and get 20% off with the discount code HOARDING20. #ad

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#191 How to dehoard when you feel defeated20 Jun 202500:36:35

Feeling defeated by dehoarding? I’ve been there, and I’m trying to get out of it, so in this episode I unpack what’s really behind that sense of hopelessness, breaking it down into manageable pieces, and sharing practical steps for moving forward - even when it all feels impossible. If you’re stuck, overwhelmed, or just too tired to start, you’re not alone. So let’s talk about some concrete things you can try.

Buy your copy of Everything You Need to Know About Hoarding by Dr Lynne Drummond at cambridge.org/EverythingHoarding, and get 20% off with the discount code HOARDING20. #ad

  • Feeling Defeated by Dehoarding
  • Host’s recent struggle with feeling defeated and hopeless
  • Common reasons for feeling defeated:
  • The enormity of the task
  • Personal life challenges and lack of time
  • Breaking down what “defeated” means for individuals
  • Self-Reflection and Identifying Obstacles
  • Using self-questioning techniques inspired by CBT
  • Listing and mapping out the causes of defeat on paper
  • Examples of personal obstacles:
  • Fatigue and physical health
  • Difficulty concentrating
  • Emotional overwhelm and stress
  • Shame and self-blame
  • Sense of impossibility
  • Breaking Down Barriers and Theme Identification
  • Categorising specific reasons for defeat
  • Writing actionable notes beside each challenge
  • Strategies for managing each obstacle:
  • Sleep hygiene and physical health maintenance
  • Working on self-compassion and challenging self-blame
  • Supporting concentration and mental health through self-care
  • Trial and error with productivity and to-do lists
  • Coping with Overwhelm
  • Recognising overwhelm as a rational but paralysing response
  • Techniques for reducing overwhelm:
  • Breaking tasks into tiny, actionable steps
  • Focusing on achievable mini-goals
  • Reframing "impossible" goals into manageable actions
  • Addressing Stress
  • How personal and environmental stress feeds into defeat
  • Practical strategies:
  • Tackling smaller, actionable tasks to relieve work/personal stress
  • Honest communication with peers, family, and colleagues about overwhelm
  • Accepting that some sources of stress require long-term coping rather than immediate solutions
  • Tackling the Sense of Impossibility
  • Recognising the vagueness of the feeling
  • Returning to self-analysis to clarify what specifically feels impossible
  • Using accumulated small improvements to chip away at the larger sense of defeat
  • Dealing with Overwhelm and Taking Breaks
  • Granting oneself intentional breaks to refresh perspective without guilt
  • Comparing dehoarding effort to the need for breaks in work life
  • Re-evaluating Plans and Expectations
  • Assessing the effectiveness of current strategies and goals
  • Adapting goals to current capacity and circumstances
  • Seeking external feedback and community support
  • The Importance of Support Systems
  • Nurturing and expanding support from peers, professionals, and loved ones
  • Recognising where additional support is needed
  • Celebrating Small Wins
  • The importance of acknowledging tiny victories
  • Suggestions for gentle self-recognition and reward
  • Recording achievements for self-motivation

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#190 What if we forgive ourselves, but now we know better, we do better? Choosing compassion over shame in hoarding disorder13 Jun 202500:37:49

Today I’m looking at what happens if we forgive ourselves for past hoarding behaviours, why we maybe should, and how we can actually use that insight to make better choices and move forward. I talk honestly about the shame and guilt that keeps so many of us stuck. There’s some reflection on the roots of hoarding, the importance of self-compassion, and why hating ourselves into action just doesn’t work -  plus a few practical suggestions for anyone trying to make a change, no matter where you’re starting from.

Buy your copy of Everything You Need to Know About Hoarding by Dr Lynne Drummond at cambridge.org/EverythingHoarding, and get 20% off with the discount code HOARDING20. #ad

  • Forgiving Ourselves but Doing Better
  • Exploration of guilt and shame related to hoarding and feeling overwhelmed.
  • Reflection on self-blame, regret, and paralysis it can cause.
  • Catholic upbringing: Confession, forgiveness, and the importance of genuine intent to change.
  • Recognition that hoarding often stems from trauma, loss, fear, anxiety, or neurodivergence.
  • Discussion of cause and effect - influences behind hoarding behavior.
  • Emphasis that hoarders are not lazy or bad people, but in a complex situation.
  • The cycle of self-judgement and the importance of self-compassion as an antidote to shame.
  • Practical advice: Treat oneself with the compassion you’d offer others, challenging negative self-talk.
  • How self-criticism can demotivate and hinder progress.
  • Comparison: Encouraging someone else is more effective than berating oneself.
  • Understanding mistakes, taking responsibility, and making amends when possible.
  • The importance of learning from past experiences and committing to doing better.
  • Practical Strategies for Moving Forward
  • Suggestions for emotional and action-oriented progress:
  • Journalling or talking to someone about feelings.
  • Looking back with compassion to identify patterns and triggers.
  • Start dehoarding by breaking tasks into small steps.
  • Avoiding perfectionism; celebrating any progress.
  • Reference to "towards and away moves" from episode 182 with Dr. Jan Eppingstall.
  • Identifying values and making choices that align with them.
  • Finding support from therapists, friends, family, support groups, or accountability sessions.
  • Acknowledgement that forgiving oneself is challenging but necessary for progress.
  • Emphasising persistence, compassion, and learning from mistakes.
  • Encouragement and Validation
  • Recognition of listeners at various stages of their journey - starting, struggling, making progress, or just listening for now.
  • Assurance that small steps count and everyone is doing their best.
  • Emphasis that listeners are not alone.

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#189 Emotional, practical and motivational scaffolding - what it is and how to get it, with Dr Jan Eppingstall06 Jun 202500:33:34

This week I’m joined by Dr Jan Eppingstall to talk about scaffolding - what it means, how it helps with hoarding recovery, and why our needs for support change over time.

We break down practical, emotional, and motivational scaffolding, from therapy and peer support to self-made systems and the way we talk to ourselves.

If you’ve ever wondered how to find the right kind of help without feeling stuck with it forever, this is the episode for you.

Buy your copy of Everything You Need to Know About Hoarding by Dr Lynne Drummond at cambridge.org/EverythingHoarding, and get 20% off with the discount code HOARDING20. #ad

  • Explanation of Scaffolding and the Zone of Proximal Development
  • Definition of scaffolding from educational psychology.
  • Origins in Lev Vygotsky’s work: helping people accomplish tasks with support.
  • Relevance to hoarding and recovery.
  • Application of Scaffolding to Hoarding Recovery
  • Psychological, cognitive, and emotional elements in hoarding.
  • Physical and organisational skill deficits in people who hoard.
  • Differences and interplay between psychological barriers and practical skills.
  • Illustrating support levels: from high assistance to independence.
  • Personal examples demonstrating that support needs can resurface over time.
  • The Changing Nature of Scaffolding
  • Scaffolding shifts in form and amount as people progress or encounter setbacks.
  • Individualisation: What’s supportive for one may not be for another.
  • Types of Scaffolding for Hoarding Recovery
  • External supports: therapists, peers, coaches.
  • Direct instruction and physical assistance.
  • Environmental modifications.
  • Tools and resources.
  • Social encouragement and accountability.
  • Assessing current functioning.
  • Matching support to challenge level (not too easy, not too hard).
  • Gradually reducing support as independence grows.
  • Scaffolding for Neurodivergent Individuals
  • Adjustments for ADHD:
  • Shorter work periods, built-in breaks.
  • Accountability partners and visual reminders/checklists.
  • Adjustments for Autism:
  • Predictable routines.
  • Clear rules and decision trees.
  • Sensory-friendly environments.
  • Executive Function Challenges and Tailored Scaffolding
  • Strategies like breaking down decisions, using templates, "parking lot" systems for deferred decisions.
  • Recognising that executive function can be context-specific and fluctuate.
  • Importance of Emotional Scaffolding
  • Emotional regulation during dehoarding.
  • Need for self-soothing and distress-tolerance skills as support is reduced.
  • Informal and Internal Scaffolding
  • Peer support, self-talk, problem solving, reminders.
  • Adapting systems in the home as a supportive structure.
  • Habituation and Evolvement of Support Systems
  • Reminder fatigue and strategies to combat it (rotating formats, colours, locations).
  • The necessity for systems to evolve as needs and effectiveness change.
  • Mindset Shifts and Realistic Expectations
  • Acceptance that supports may need to be re-engaged during crises or setbacks.
  • Not viewing return to scaffolding as failure - progress and healing aren’t linear.
  • Testing assumptions about personal limitations.
  • Re-evaluating and Customising Support
  • Creating, testing, and modifying practical systems in the home with or without outside perspective.
  • Recognising the value of trying new strategies even if initial skepticism exists.

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#188 12 ways to make decision-making easier (and why people who hoard find it so hard to make decisions in the first place!)30 May 202500:38:28

Decision-making can be a huge stumbling block when you’re trying to tackle hoarding, from cognitive overload to perfectionism and decision fatigue. In this episode, I unpack why making choices about our belongings feels so overwhelming, what can go wrong if we avoid it, and I share practical strategies to make the process more manageable. If you find yourself stuck in analysis paralysis or endlessly putting off decisions, this one’s for you.

Buy your copy of Everything You Need to Know About Hoarding by Dr Lynne Drummond at cambridge.org/EverythingHoarding, and get 20% off with the discount code HOARDING20. #ad

  • Introduction to Decision Making and Hoarding
  • Decision making as a common issue among hoarders
  • Overwhelm and avoidance connected to belongings and acquiring new items
  • Episode aims: understanding why decision making is hard, consequences of indecision, and strategies to help
  • Why Decision Making is Difficult for People Who Hoard
  • Cognitive Overload
  • Too many items to process, making each choice feel monumental
  • Resulting in avoidance and deferral of decisions
  • Accumulation due to unresolved decisions
  • Analysis Paralysis
  • Being stuck analysing endless options and outcomes
  • Difficulty prioritising and overthinking decisions
  • Exhaustion from mental effort
  • Information Processing Challenges
  • Trouble prioritising urgency and importance
  • Struggling to filter necessary versus unnecessary information
  • Being trapped in unresolvable decision loops
  • Emotional Barriers
  • Perfectionism and fear of making the wrong decision
  • Catastrophising possible negative outcomes
  • All-or-nothing thinking relating to perfectionism
  • Sentimental Attachment
  • Struggles with emotional connection to items (gifts, memories)
  • Difficulty discerning genuine sentimental value
  • Fear of the Future
  • Anxiety about future need or regret causing paralysis
  • Preference for clinging to items over risking discomfort
  • Executive Function Challenges
  • Difficulties with planning, organising, prioritising, and initiating tasks
  • Impact of poor working memory on decision making
  • Consequences of Avoiding Decisions
  • Vicious Cycle of Procrastination
  • Accumulation of clutter, increased overwhelm and fatigue
  • Practical Implications
  • Safety hazards and restricted home usage
  • Social isolation and relationship strain due to inability to host
  • Emotional Impact
  • Stress, depression, guilt, and shame
  • Financial Consequences
  • Extra spending, buying duplicates, damage or loss of items, missed bills and penalties
  • Building Negative Self-Perceptions
  • Belief in inability to decide reinforces avoidance
  • Declining self-trust and self-esteem
  • Strategies and Techniques for Improving Decision Making
  • Identify Resistance and Mental Blocks
  • Questioning internal "nope" responses
  • Understanding fears or overwhelming factors behind avoidance
  • Treat Decisions as Experiments
  • Lowering pressure by seeing outcomes as learning experiences
  • Avoiding a pass/fail mindset
  • Make Micro-Decisions
  • Starting with low-stakes, emotionally neutral items
  • Building decision-making confidence ("decision muscle")
  • Utilise Support Systems
  • Seeking feedback or accountability from friends, family, organisers, or therapists
  • Sense-checking and encouragement from others
  • Clarify Values and Priorities
  • Aligning decisions with personal goals (e.g., hospitality, functionality, beauty)
  • Using values as a decision compass
  • Set Time Limits
  • Imposing limits per decision to prevent overthinking
  • Adjusting duration as confidence improves
  • Accept “Good Enough” Decisions
  • Allowing for adequacy over perfection
  • Challenging double standards around self-expectations versus others
  • Reduce Number of Choices
  • Limiting possible options (e.g., keep/throw/donate)
  • Pre-determining criteria to streamline choices
  • Reality Checks
  • Probing feelings of “I might need it” with practical questions
  • Reviewing usage frequency and functionality
  • Increase Awareness of Avoidance
  • Noticing procrastination and avoidance behaviours
  • Evaluating the significance of indecision as a barrier
  • Build Tolerance for Uncertainty and Discomfort
  • Accepting that discomfort is part of life, and not deciding brings other difficulties
  • Gradually practicing sitting with uncertainty
  • Practice Consistency in Decision Making
  • Incorporating daily decision-making habits
  • Gently challenging avoidance and celebrating each choice made
  • Decision-making is a learnable, improvable skill
  • The importance of starting small and practicing imperfect decisions
  • Building self-trust and confidence through repeated practice
  • Encouragement to challenge avoidance and recognise growth with each decision

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#187 What if we focused less on self-care and more on self-nurture to progress our hoarding recovery?23 May 202500:37:23

Self-care gets a lot of airtime these days, but I’ve started rethinking what it actually means, especially when you’re struggling with hoarding disorder. In this episode, I talk about why marketed, consumer-driven “self-care” just adds more pressure, and why nurturing yourself with compassion, connection, and practical routines is far more effective. Plus, I share some genuinely helpful, low-cost ways to support yourself without adding to the clutter - or your to-do list.

  • Self-Care in Modern Times
  • Evolution of the meaning of “self-care”:
  • The older, practical definition (basic hygiene, nourishment)
  • Current consumer-driven, extravagant interpretations
  • Critique of modern self-care commercialisation
  • Challenges of Hoarding and Mental Health Struggles
  • Emotional toll of hoarding disorder
  • Stress, anxiety, depression, trauma, grief
  • The exhausting process of trying to “fix” things
  • Daily stressors of living in a hoard
  • Feelings of failure, constant reminders, adrenaline spikes from unexpected visitors, tripping over items
  • The Real Purpose of Self-Care
  • Balancing negative emotions (stress, grief, trauma) with activities that nurture the soul
  • Evaluating popular self-care advice
  • The problem with universal, commercialised recommendations
  • Importance of individualised, inward-looking approaches
  • Introducing the Concept of "Self-Nurture"
  • How self-nurture differs from self-care
  • Greater compassion, sustainability, and personalisation
  • Emphasis on looking inwards for individual needs
  • Practical examples of self-nurturing activities
  • The Pitfalls of Commercialised Self-Care
  • The “shoulds” culture and guilt surrounding unmet self-care standards
  • Surface-level versus meaningful acts of care
  • How marketed solutions often do not address real needs
  • Guilt and shame when unable to practice recommended self-care (especially for those who hoard)
  • Consumer Culture and Self-Care
  • Self-care as a commodified experience: Encouragement to buy unnecessary products
  • How this affects people who hoard
  • Risk of exacerbating clutter by acquiring more as “self-care”
  • Focus on external fixes rather than internal wellbeing
  • The Benefits of Self-Nurture
  • Self-nurture as inexpensive or free
  • Focus on activities rather than acquisitions
  • Finding joy or restoration in simple practices (e.g., using what you have, accessing the library, running without specialised gear)
  • Compassionate Self-Nurture in Practice
  • Asking internal questions about core needs (physical, emotional, psychological)
  • Treating oneself as one would treat a person they love
  • Emphasis on gentle, non-critical, incremental progress
  • Drinking water for wellbeing rather than obligation
  • Time in nature, connecting with friends, creativity, self-acceptance
  • Building Emotional Security and Gentleness
  • Establishing emotional security as a core need
  • Managing self-criticism and reaching out for connection despite anxiety
  • Celebration of small wins and progress
  • Validating and acknowledging difficult feelings with compassion
  • Evaluating and Choosing Nurturing Activities
  • Key questions to ask: “Will this nurture me emotionally, psychologically, or physically?”
  • Differentiating between genuine needs and justifying unnecessary purchases
  • Avoidance of reinforcing negative patterns through acquisition
  • Developing a Personal Toolbox for Self-Nurture
  • Gathering and customising strategies that work
  • Routines and coping mechanisms
  • Taking stock of helpful techniques, personalising approaches
  • Recognising and valuing unique sources of restoration
  • Top Tip
  • DIY, low-cost tip for cleaning the dishwasher with household items
  • Encouragement to take any step, however small, towards self-nurture

Links

#186 10 executive dysfunction tips and tricks to help people who hoard, whether we have ADHD or are neurodivergent or not - Hoarding Awareness Week 202516 May 202500:36:47

For Hoarding Awareness Week 2025, I’m focusing on executive function - the brain’s control centre for planning, starting, and finishing tasks - and the small, practical hacks that can make a genuine difference for people who hoard, whether or not we have ADHD or are neurodivergent. I talk about real-life tips for breaking the overwhelm, managing perfectionism, building momentum, and overcoming shame, all with the aim of making progress sustainable and achievable in your day-to-day life. This episode is all about honest advice that actually works, whether you’re in the thick of it or just looking for a few smarter ways to approach this.

  • Hoarding Awareness Week 2025 and its theme: Hoarding & Executive Function
  • Recognition that executive function challenges impact both neurodivergent and neurotypical people
  • Executive Function and Hoarding
  • Previous podcast episodes relating to executive function, ADHD, and hoarding
  • Importance of using effective hacks and techniques, regardless of neurotype
  • Emphasis on finding what works personally for each listener
  • The Realities and Challenges of Tackling Hoarding
  • Overwhelm and daunting feelings about dehoarding
  • Breaking tasks into small, manageable parts
  • Focus on actionable, day-to-day strategies rather than long-term, rigid planning
  • Understanding Executive Function
  • Explanation of what executive function is (control centre for planning, focus, and impulse control)
  • Factors that can impair executive function (neurodivergence, mental health, stress, lack of sleep, etc.)
  • Universality of executive dysfunction - everyone struggles at times
  • Emotional Barriers: Perfectionism and Shame
  • The cycle of shame and self-blame in executive dysfunction and hoarding
  • Societal judgment around hoarding, and its paralysing effects
  • Strategies for stepping back, naming emotions, and cultivating self-compassion
  • Core Executive Dysfunction Tips and Hacks
  • Breaking Tasks Down
  • Setting realistic micro-goals
  • The concept of “towards” vs. “away” moves in progress
  • Tracking Progress
  • Counting bags/items leaving the house
  • Caution against tracking becoming burdensome for some
  • Using Timers
  • Setting short (e.g., 5-minute) timers to help with task initiation
  • Use of voice assistants to avoid distraction
  • Reverse-timer technique to use end of music/podcast as a cue for action
  • The Two-Minute Rule
  • Limitations and personal adaptations of rule
  • Identifying Motivations
  • Creating visual or written reminders of why you want to dehoard
  • Acceptance of some tools working only temporarily, and switching when necessary
  • Reward Systems
  • Small, non-material rewards for completing tasks
  • Linking listening to desired media (like the podcast) with decluttering activities
  • Non-Negotiable Rules
  • Creating routines to reduce decision fatigue (e.g., charity bags leave home immediately)
  • Body Doubling
  • Doing tasks alongside others (physically or virtually, like in the host’s Zoom sessions)
  • Emotional/moral support of parallel accountability
  • Alternative ways to body double if group support isn’t accessible
  • Time Blocking and Scheduling
  • Using calendars and reminders to schedule decluttering sessions
  • Flexibly adapting this strategy based on personal response
  • Habit Stacking
  • Linking a new task to an established routine (e.g., unloading dishwasher while kettle boils)
  • Using “add-ons” for frequently-visited spaces (e.g., clearing five things each time you enter the bathroom)

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#185 Engaging with our stuff: why we keep things but don’t use them, with Dr Jan Eppingstall09 May 202501:14:19

In this episode, I’m with Dr Jan Eppingstall, a Melbourne-based counsellor and hoarding expert extraordinaire. We unpack the concept of engaging with our belongings - actually seeing, touching, and using the things we tend to accumulate, rather than letting them fade into the background. Jan shares insights from her work, explains why we often feel safer just owning stuff instead of interacting with it, and offers practical ways to build a healthier, more intentional relationship with what we own. There are some genuinely enlightening moments, and plenty of ideas for anyone looking to break free from an excess of stuff.

  • Defining "Engaging with Our Stuff"
  • What it means to actually engage with possessions (seeing, touching, using)
  • Comparison to possessions fading into the background
  • The idea of using versus just possessing objects
  • Patterns of Engagement Among People Who Hoard
  • Sense of safety from being surrounded by possessions without interaction
  • Only the "top layer" of possessions typically being used
  • Loss of intention behind keeping sentimental or useful items
  • The psychological comfort of having versus using objects
  • Emotional and Psychological Aspects of Compulsive Hoarding
  • Emotional connection to the potential of objects rather than actual objects
  • Avoidance of decision-making by not engaging/touching items
  • Security and reassurance derived from the mere presence of items
  • Defeatism and pointlessness associated with searching for or using objects
  • Barriers to Engaging with Possessions
  • Overwhelm from the sheer volume of stuff
  • Active resistance and avoidance behaviours
  • Feelings of incompetence and adaptation through purchasing duplicates
  • Guilt associated with over-accumulation
  • Benefits of Actively Engaging with Possessions
  • Rediscovering useful or wanted items when sorting
  • Increased awareness of what is owned and where it is
  • Neurological and psychological benefits of tactile interaction
  • Insights gained from using and trying on items (e.g., clothing)
  • Decision-making as a muscle that strengthens with practice
  • Realisations about unnecessary duplicates (e.g., multiple ladles in the kitchen)
  • Emotional and practical hurdles in finding homes for items
  • Perfectionism and rigidity around item placement and organisation
  • Moving, Arranging, and Re-organising Possessions
  • Resistance to moving items from "their place" due to tradition, attachment, or perfectionism
  • Fear of forgetting where things are if organisational changes are made
  • Multi-step decision fatigue when organising
  • The importance of flexible, evolving systems for item placement
  • Confronting Avoidance and Overwhelm
  • The value of small steps, e.g., simply looking into an avoided bag or space
  • The myth of a “good reason” for keeping certain items, often dispelled when items are revisited
  • Developing Healthier, More Intentional Relationships with Stuff
  • Introducing intention and ritual to everyday interactions with possessions
  • “Rotation stations” and seasonal evaluation/rituals
  • Benefits of conscious handling, organisation, and maintenance
  • Cultural Perspectives and Practices
  • Japanese concepts:
  • Te Ate: hand-care, tactile connection as a ritual
  • Mushiboshi: seasonal airing and assessment of items
  • Ma: meaningful emptiness/space as a source of tranquillity
  • Contrasts between Western consumerism and other cultural approaches to possessions
  • Challenges and Solutions in Organising and Letting Go
  • The impact of spatial processing or organisational difficulties
  • Accepting that resistance to change is sometimes due to overwhelm
  • Personalisation and Flexibility in Managing Possessions
  • Tailoring organisation and engagement to one’s own needs, routines, and neurodiversity
  • Maximalism and the need for varying levels of stimulus—distinguishing between maximalism and chaos
  • Allowing spaces to be intentionally clear, embracing the benefits of emptiness
  • The ongoing journey of developing intentionality with possessions
  • The importance of kindness and patience with oneself in making these changes

Links

 

#184 What if we actually felt the feelings? An honest conversation about trauma, hoarding, and allowing yourself to feel02 May 202500:26:06

This week, I talk about what happens when I actually let myself feel the tough emotions instead of shutting them down - a pattern that's shaped my life and my struggles with hoarding, self-harm, and eating disorders. After a thought-provoking conversation with Anna Sale on Death, Sex & Money last year, I started questioning whether avoiding feelings has helped or hurt me in the long run and have been trying to process that ever since! I share what it’s like to sit with big emotions, experiment with messy ways to cope, and why feeling the feelings might just be a way forward.

  • Avoiding Feelings
  • Realisation that I tend to do anything rather than feel difficult emotions.
  • Recent personal reflection and processing feelings over the past few months.
  • Impact of mental health and a PTSD flare-up on my ability to manage feelings.
  • Connecting Coping Mechanisms to Avoidance
  • Experience with PTSD, self-harm, anorexia, and bulimia as different forms of not feeling or avoiding emotions.
  • Insights from an interview with Anna Sale on Death, Sex & Money that linked these coping together as forms of avoidance.
  • Acknowledgment that these strategies were more than just avoidance - also punitive, protective, and multifaceted.
  • The Cost and Pattern of Emotional Avoidance
  • Compartmentalising as a lifelong coping skill and its negative long-term consequences.
  • Difficulty breaking the habit of not feeling and the impact on my sense of identity.
  • Recognition that suppressing feelings can be as damaging as (or more damaging than) the feelings themselves.
  • Actively Facing and Processing Feelings
  • Engaging in therapy, journaling (both resentful and creative/collage style), and reading poetry to access emotions.
  • Talking more openly with friends as a supportive measure.
  • Forcing myself to do enjoyable activities (like getting outside), which helps counteract avoidance.
  • Community, Connection, and Support
  • Impact of Trauma and Suppression on Daily Life
  • How PTSD and unprocessed sadness began affecting sleep, revealing that suppressing feelings is no longer effective.
  • Discusses the challenge of letting oneself feel emotions, both by choice and when overcome involuntarily.
  • The risks of being overwhelmed and the delicate balance between feeling and avoidance.
  • Learning and Conversations About Emotional Acceptance
  • Revisiting lessons from previous podcast guests about the counterproductivity of suppressing or over-intellectualising feelings.
  • The concept that suppressed emotions may “come out sideways” through other behaviours, like self-harm or hoarding.
  • Nuanced view of coping mechanisms - not labeling them as purely negative since they served protective purposes.
  • Vulnerability, Shame, and Deepening Relationships
  • Gradual willingness to share deeper, more distressing moments with friends.
  • Examining the reasons behind the instinct to hide intense distress.
  • How vulnerability leads to stronger, more meaningful connections.
  • Positive Effects of Feeling the Hard Stuff
  • Discovering that feeling hard emotions increases the capacity to feel positive emotions more deeply.
  • Finding deeper love, joy, and beauty in everyday experiences.
  • Recognising the importance of support systems when exploring difficult emotions.
  • Reflection and Encouragement for Listeners
  • Encourages listeners to be curious about their own patterns of avoidance and coping.
  • Cautions that intentionally feeling emotions is difficult and requires support.
  • The hopeful observation that allowing feelings can be cathartic, gratifying, and healing—even if it’s uncomfortable.

Links

 

REMIX: How to declutter when you're really busy: dehoarding in tiny time slots and other tips25 Apr 202500:40:44
REMIX: The little-known Hummingbird Method for tackling avoidance in dehoarding18 Apr 202500:32:58

 

#183 ADHD, executive dysfunction and creating hacks and systems to reduce clutter chaos, with Carrie Lagerstedt11 Apr 202500:58:46

In this episode, I chat with Carrie Lagerstedt, a professional home organiser specialising in working with neurodivergent people in New Zealand. Carrie, diagnosed with ADHD herself, shares insights on managing clutter and executive dysfunction by creating home systems that work for us. We challenge the very idea of laziness and explore the potential of “may as well”.

Buy your copy at cambridge.org/EverythingHoarding, and get 20% off with the discount code HOARDING20. #ad

  • Carrie's background and transition from teaching to organising
  • Neurodivergence and Clutter
  • Common issues linking neurodivergence with clutter
  • Out of sight, out of mind
  • Sensory overwhelm and its effect on executive functioning
  • Challenges faced by those with executive dysfunction
  • Carrie's Experience with ADHD
  • Benefits of having ADHD when working with clients with similar challenges
  • Building trust through lived experiences and understanding
  • Moral neutrality and Organising
  • KC Davis' influence on Carrie's philosophy
  • Moral neutrality and functionality in organising
  • Debunking the concept of laziness
  • Challenges of living up to capitalist expectations
  • Systems for Neurodivergent Individuals
  • Making the home work for individuals
  • Difference between aspirational thinking and functional changes
  • Importance of practical systems over willpower
  • Executive Functioning and Organisational Strategies
  • Tools used to aid working memory and organisation (e.g., Post-its)
  • Cognitive flexibility and overcoming 'all or nothing' thinking
  • Understanding blocks and identifying actionable solutions
  • Personal Experiences and Adjustments
  • Personal stories and realisations regarding household tasks
  • Impact of habituation and changing perspectives on tasks
  • Tools and Hacks for Developing Systems
  • Categorising as key to organisation
  • Using visual reminders and structured systems
REMIX: The emotional impact of emergency dehoarding04 Apr 202500:40:22

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket

Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe

Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ 

 

#182 What are "towards and away moves" and what on earth do they have to do with hoarding recovery? With Dr Jan Eppingstall28 Mar 202500:44:52

Today, I'm joined by Dr Jan Eppingstall to unpack "towards moves" and "away moves" in the context of hoarding. These terms might sound unusual, but they're crucial for understanding behaviour in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and how they relate to our values. It's all about recognising whether our actions are leading us closer to what matters or pulling us further away, and we'll be exploring how to identify and pivot those choices.

  • Introduction to Towards Moves and Away Moves
  • Definition and explanation of the concept.
  • The relevance of these moves in dealing with hoarding disorder.
  • Initial thoughts on the impact of small actions.
  • Examples in a Hoarding Context
  • Away moves (e.g., keeping craft supplies, avoiding recognising chaos).
  • Towards moves (e.g., donating supplies, acknowledging home environment issues).
  • Explanation of how values influence these moves.
  • Role of Values in Decision Making
  • Importance of determining personal values.
  • How values affect choices and provide motivation.
  • Impact of materialism and societal pressures on values.
  • Cognitive Fusion
  • Explanation and examples of cognitive fusion.
  • The effect of tightly held beliefs on reality and actions.
  • Discussion of accuracy vs. helpfulness of thoughts.
  • Flexibility vs. Rigidity and Perfectionism
  • Psychological inflexibility and societal expectations.
  • The struggle between personal values and societal pressures.
  • The concept of emotional flexibility and its importance.
  • Recognising Towards and Away Moves
  • Strategies for acknowledging and reflecting on these moves.
  • Importance of awareness in decision-making processes.
  • Dopamine and Pleasure vs. Meaning
  • The role of dopamine in pleasure and motivation.
  • Discussion on short-term pleasure vs. long-term meaning.
  • How these insights influence approach and avoidance behaviours.
  • Making Changes and Addressing Moves
  • Creating “if-then” plans to anticipate moves.
  • Reflecting on decisions and their outcomes.
  • Recognising patterns and using past experiences to guide future actions.
  • Role of Helpers in Towards and Away Moves
  • Identification and importance of helpers like goal setting and values clarification.
  • Challenges faced by individuals with attentional deficits.
  • Votes for the Person You Want to Be
  • Connection between choices and self-identity.
  • Concept of actions as votes for future selves.
  • First Steps to Take More Towards Moves
  • Starting with value clarification exercises.
  • Questions to help determine what’s important personally.
  • Encouragement to explore inner motivations and experiences.
#181 Past influences and future possibilities: cause and effect and hoarding disorder (plus Podcasthon)21 Mar 202500:29:44

During a recent drive with a perfectly curated playlist, I had a revelation about cause and effect, particularly how our past behaviours and experiences contribute to both our challenges and our successes. I talk about having a compassionate understanding of how we've arrived at our current situation and how small, mindful actions today can shape a more positive future. The episode also features a discussion on Podcasthon and highlights the UK mental health charity Mind.

  • Explanation of Podcasthon: A week where podcasts highlight a charity.
  • Mind Charity: Focus on the mental health charity Mind in the UK.
  • Audio Clip: Sharing a video of Mind's work, with a translation of a Welsh sentence.
  • Cause and Effect Discussion
  • Insight through Music: Personal anecdote about creating a playlist for a long drive.
  • The role of personal actions in positive outcomes.
  • Life and Hoarding: Exploring causes of both positive and negative outcomes in life.
  • Factors influencing hoarding: Trauma, scarcity, and mental health challenges.
  • Behaviour evolution: Hoarding behaviours becoming normal over time.
  • Impact of Life Experiences
  • Examining past experiences and their contributions to current behaviours.
  • Considering past without judgment as a way to understand hoarding.
  • Facing Reality
  • Objective Assessment: Evaluating the current state of living conditions.
  • Navigating feelings like anger, sadness, and bitterness.
  • Future Implications
  • Positive Actions: How they can shape a better future.
  • Accountability and Responsibility: Recognising the impact of present actions.
#180 Arts and crafts and pretty, pretty things: artists, aesthetics and hoarding with Dr Jan Eppingstall14 Mar 202501:16:51

In this episode, I'm joined by Dr Jan Eppingstall to explore a fascinating angle on hoarding: its artistic side. We'll tackle the connection between creativity and hoarding, including why so many people who hoard are into arts and crafts, and diving into how people who hoard might view their possessions in an unusually aesthetic light. Jan shares insights from both clinical experience and research, offering a fresh perspective on the parallels between art and accumulation. Whether you're a creative type or just curious about the psychology behind collecting, this conversation will give you plenty to think about.

  • Curiosity: Example of using curiosity to cope with pain.
  • Gratitude: Using the Finch app to practice gratitude daily.
  • Journaling: Imperfect journaling as a new approach to managing emotions.
  • Arty, Crafty Side of Hoarding
  • Trends seen in clients regarding art and hoarding
  • The challenge of managing craft supplies in people who hoard
  • Analysing Creativity and Hoarding
  • Comparison to detectives and acute perception
  • Consideration of feeling overlooked
  • Struggles with Crafting and Perfectionism
  • Challenges in starting and completing craft projects
  • Study on Artists and Hoarding
  • Traits shared by studio artists and people who hoard
  • ADHD and executive dysfunction parallels
  • Art and Beauty in Hoarding
  • Tendency to keep beautiful things
  • Struggles with displaying or appreciating collected items
  • Analysis of Andy Warhol's Accumulation
  • Discussion of Warhol’s collection as art vs. hoarding
  • Socioeconomic and behavioural aspects of collecting vs. hoarding
  • Aesthetics and Inclusion in Hoarding
  • Discussion of under-inclusiveness in categorising objects
  • Exploration of seeing beauty in ordinary objects
  • Potential Neurodevelopmental Aspects of Hoarding
  • Insights from MRI study
  • Brain regions potentially linked to hoarding behaviours
  • Using Art to Represent Hoarding Space
  • Artists using clutter and hoarding as themes in art
  • Questioning the nature of representing hoarding through art
  • Fear of Sterile and Soulless Homes
  • Addressing the fear that tidiness equals lack of personality
  • Discussing clutter core and maximising aesthetic displays

 

#179 How hoarding behaviours develop and early intervention for hoarding disorder, with Dr Victoria Ruby-Granger07 Mar 202500:43:17

In this episode, I'm chatting with Dr. Victoria Ruby-Granger, a psychologist at De Montfort University who has researched how hoarding behaviours develop and the potential for early intervention. We explore the importance of looking beyond physical clutter to understand what possessions mean for those with hoarding tendencies and discuss the role of trauma, loss and life transitions. Plus, we touch on the challenges and potential pathways for early intervention in children and young people.

  • Dr. Victoria Ruby-Granger's Path to Studying Hoarding
  • Influence of TV programmes about hoarding.
  • Curiosity about the development of hoarding behaviours.
  • Research on Hoarding Behaviours and Childhood
  • Discussion on hoarding behaviours beginning in childhood or adolescence.
  • Experiences shared by research participants.
  • Understanding 'Struggling to Manage'
  • Explanation of the concept derived from research.
  • Methods used by Dr. Victoria Ruby-Granger in her research.
  • Qualitative study and grounded theory methodology.
  • Patterns of Hoarding Development
  • Managing possessions and life.
  • Emotional attachments and meanings of possessions.
  • Impact of life transitions on hoarding behaviour.
  • Overcoming Hoarding Challenges
  • Importance of support beyond possessions
  • Identity and functioning challenges for individuals with hoarding disorder.
  • Early Intervention in Hoarding
  • Difficulty in identifying people who need early intervention.
  • Importance of awareness and understanding childhood behaviours.
  • Diagnostic Criteria and Support Challenges
  • Discussion on current diagnostic criteria for hoarding disorder.
  • Difficulties in accessing support without a diagnosis.
  • Potential Patterns and Findings in Dr. Victoria Ruby-Granger's Research
  • Emotional attachments and decision-making reluctance.
  • Preferences for discarding possessions through certain methods.
  • Advice for Parents about children showing hoarding behaviours
  • Recommendations for parents of children displaying hoarding-related behaviours.
  • Importance of communication and understanding the emotional meanings attached to items.
  • Emphasis on trauma and loss in hoarding behaviours.
  • Importance of understanding personal experiences in hoarding
#178 Growing up in a hoarded home: Sam’s story as the child of a Mum who hoards28 Feb 202500:51:38

In this episode I chat with Sam, who speaks movingly about growing up with a mother who hoards. Now 28, Sam reflects on the claustrophobic environment, the impact on their self-esteem and organisation, and the ongoing journey to rebuild a relationship with food, space, and self-worth. Whether you're a hoarder, the child of somebody who hoards, or you know someone who is, Sam's story offers a vital perspective on living through - and beyond - the hoard.

  • Sam’s experience growing up in a hoarded home
  • Importance of understanding perspectives of those affected by hoarding
  • Sam’s Childhood Experience
  • Description of upbringing in a hoarded home
  • Emotional impact and feelings of claustrophobia and anxiety
  • Lack of emotional and physical space
  • Experiences of shame and comparison with peers
  • Coping Mechanisms and Effects on Daily Life
  • Sam's view of their home as an obstacle course
  • Impact of hoarding on family relationships
  • Lack of privacy and its influence on personal development
  • Impact on Self-Esteem and Mental Health
  • Struggle with self-esteem and self-care
  • Connection between environment and depression
  • Feelings of negativity and isolation
  • School and Social Interactions
  • Effect on academic performance and organisational skills
  • Challenges in completing schoolwork
  • Experiences with friends visiting the home and related anxieties
  • Adolescence and Growing Awareness
  • Anger and frustration during teenage years
  • Lack of external intervention and support
  • Missed opportunities for professional help
  • External Perception and Professional Insight
  • Outside family and societal perceptions of hoarding
  • Drip-feeding experiences to others and feeling of overwhelming others
  • Relationship with Food and Nutrition
  • Negative perceptions of food due to spoiling and smells
  • Ongoing struggle with eating certain foods, particularly fruit
  • Rebuilding a relationship with food as an adult
  • Leaving the Home and Independence
  • Sam’s experience and decision to move out at 20
  • Challenges and processes involved in leaving the parental hoarded home
  • Continued responsibilities in a second hoarded home
  • Long-term Effects on Sam’s Adult Life
  • Influence on career choice and support work with young carers
  • Ongoing challenges with personal organisation and self-care
  • Struggles with mental health and burnout
  • Sam’s Relationship with Family
  • Complex relationship dynamics with parents
  • Lack of understanding from parents regarding Sam’s struggles and decisions
  • Reflection on parental insight into hoarding and its effects on family
  • Current Relationship with Hoarding and Cleaning
  • Sam’s approach to possessions
  • Emotional responses to cleaning and organising tasks
  • Developing the skillset for maintaining an organised living space
  • Message for Others Experiencing Similar Situations
  • Encouragement for other young carers and children of hoarders
  • Importance of self-worth and identity outside of hoarding stigmas
  • Strategies for mental health and personal growth
  • Final Thoughts and Reflections
  • Reflections on how sharing and exploration helps understanding
  • Hope for the interview to be beneficial to listeners with similar experiences
#177 11 unexpected things this podcast has taught me about mistakes, life, perfectionism and progress21 Feb 202500:38:28

Today, I'm reflecting on 11 unexpected lessons I've picked up since starting this podcast, which go beyond just understanding hoarding disorder. From learning the power of showing progress rather than perfection, to discovering the benefits of stepping out of my comfort zone, I'll share insights that have influenced not just my journey with hoarding, but life as a whole.

Let's see how the themes of mistakes, progress, and learning can apply to anyone seeking positive change.

  • Importance of showing progress instead of aiming for perfection
  • Personal struggle with early episodes and progression over time
  • Decision to keep early episodes live as a reflection of journey and growth
  • Examining Contradictions
  • Realisation of contradictions in personal life versus podcasting
  • Applying podcast editing philosophy to home tidying
  • Capabilities and Achievements
  • Realisation of being able to do things previously thought impossible
  • Learning from incremental progress and its application to life
  • Comfort Zones
  • Exploring stepping outside of comfort zones
  • The rewards of nudging the edges and expanding comfort zones slowly
  • Learning and Growth
  • Starting from minimal knowledge and continuously learning
  • Academic engagement and gaining comprehensive understanding
  • Sticking to a Routine
  • Maintaining a consistent schedule and routine with the podcast
  • Role of accountability and motivation in sticking to a routine
  • Adaptability and Change
  • Ability to learn, adapt, and tweak processes over time
  • Application of flexibility learned from podcasting to personal life
  • Community and Accountability
  • Impact of accountability and community support on podcasting and life
  • Building mutual support through interactions and feedback
  • Facing Mistakes and Reality
  • Embracing mistakes and authenticity rather than striving for flawlessness
  • Shifting perspective on self-perceived failures
  • Respect and Compassion from Others
  • Receiving respect from guests and listeners despite personal doubts
  • Impact on self-compassion and self-respect
  • Transferability of Learning
  • Applying lessons learned in podcasting to other areas of life
  • Recognising that growth in one area can benefit others
  • Reflections on the transformative impact of the podcast on life
  • Encouragement to pursue growth and new experiences beyond direct goals
#176 What to do with clothes when we lose or gain weight (with absolutely NO diet-culture talk!): practical tips for dealing with size fluctuations without clutter14 Feb 202500:48:41

In today's episode, I talk about the practical challenges of handling clothes when losing or gaining weight, without promoting or criticising body size changes – this is a diet-culture free zone! I look at the emotional, nostalgic, and practical hurdles in letting go of clothes that no longer fit and offer advice on maintaining a well-balanced wardrobe while managing current size transitions. Like, what do we buy in our new size?! Plus, I'll provide practical tips on selling or donating old clothes and how to avoid over-accumulating in your new size.

  • Handling Clothes When Gaining or Losing Weight
  • Experience with Weight Fluctuation
  • Emotional and Practical Challenges of Clothes That No Longer Fit
  • Challenges of Discarding Clothes
  • Emotional Attachment to Clothes
  • Difficulty in Letting Go of Clothes with Memories or Associations
  • Factors Influencing the Decision to Keep or Discard Clothes
  • Potential Future Weight Fluctuations
  • Emotional Attachments
  • The Sunk Cost Fallacy
  • Guilt About Waste
  • Strategies for Managing Clothes When Weight Changes
  • Building the Dehoarding Muscle
  • Selling vs. Donating Clothes
  • Setting Parameters for Clothing Storage
  • Practical Solutions for Current Clothing Needs
  • Shopping Your Own Stuff
  • Gradual Replacement Strategy
  • Mindful Purchasing Decisions
  • The Liberating Aspects of Letting Go of Clothes
#175 Taking the scary first steps: the courage to call a professional organiser, with Jasmine Sleigh07 Feb 202501:00:35

In this episode, I'm joined by Jasmine Sleigh, professional declutterer, as we discuss the daunting first steps of reaching out for professional help in tackling hoarding. Jasmine shares insights into what prompts individuals to make that initial call and the courage it takes, alongside practical strategies for working with organisers. Tune in for a thoughtful conversation on overcoming fears and building trust for positive change in managing clutter.

  • Inviting Professional Help
  • Jasmine explains common motivators for people to seek help
  • Specific incidents or realisations prompting action
  • Example scenarios like misplaced items or repairs
  • The Initial Call to a Professional Organiser
  • What typically prompts the call for professional help
  • Jasmine's perspective on admiration for those who reach out
  • The importance of taking calls seriously and with empathy
  • Engaging with Potential Clients
  • Approach to initial conversations with potential clients
  • Building trust and understanding the client's situation
  • Establishing client needs and potential outcomes
  • Assessing the Client’s Home
  • How Jasmine gathers information about the client's home
  • Importance of assessing without judgment
  • Considering client interaction with their items and living space
  • Professional Organiser-Client Dynamics
  • Respecting clients’ preferences and leading decisions
  • Balancing professional insight with client autonomy
  • Working towards the client's goals and priorities
  • Process from Inquiry to Working Together
  • Steps from initial inquiry to in-home visit
  • Managing client expectations and realities
  • Ensuring client comfort and readiness
  • In-Home Visit Experience
  • Jasmine’s mindset and approach during a home visit
  • Avoiding overwhelm and maintaining professionalism
  • Logistical and emotional assessments of the client’s environment
  • Judgment and Perception in the Decluttering Process
  • Being conscious of non-verbal cues and judgments perceived by clients
  • Strategies for maintaining client comfort and trust
  • Determining Fit and Referrals
  • Assessing fit between client and professional organiser
  • Referring clients to other professionals when appropriate
  • Dealing with Client Motivations and External Pressures
  • Addressing clients seeking help due to external pressures
  • Finding a balance between urgency and client readiness
  • Ensuring Positive Outcomes and Encouraging Future Engagement
  • Creating a sense of achievement for the client
  • Fostering positive experiences to encourage future self-help
  • Challenges and Responsibilities of Professional Organisers
  • Ethical responsibilities and managing client expectations
  • Building trust for effective collaboration
  • Personal Reflections and Habits for Mental Health
  • Jasmine shares personal habits that support her mental health
  • Reflection on the importance of reading and self-care activities
#174 How to feel grounded when we're overwhelmed or dysregulated using ventral vagal spaces and touchstones, with Dr Jan Eppingstall31 Jan 202501:14:51

In today's episode, Dr Jan Eppingstall and I explore how to create a ventral vagal space or touchstone to help us regulate our emotions, drawing inspiration from the work of Deb Dana and polyvagal theory. We look at how we can find or create areas within our home, and objects we can use on the go, that provide safety and connection, allowing us to feel grounded and manage overwhelming moments. We'll look at the emotional significance of objects, avoiding those that glower at us, and instead creating spaces filled with comfort and warmth.

  • Creating Your Own Ventral Vagal Space
  • Permission Slip segment
  • Discussion about photographic portraits
  • Emotions associated with the portraits
  • Objects as Memories
  • Significant memories vs. happy memories
  • Harriet Impey's notion of "glowering" objects
  • Emotional Impact of Objects
  • Portraits as a reminder of insecurity
  • Ventral Vagal Space Concept
  • Use of Deb Dana's work in polyvagal theory
  • Connection between emotional safety and physical space
  • Explanation of Polyvagal Theory
  • Breakdown of the nervous system's stages: ventral vagal, sympathetic, and dorsal vagal
  • Relevance of Polyvagal Theory to Hoarding
  • Trauma and its relation to object attachment
  • Challenges of decision-making in a cluttered environment
  • Deb Dana's Home Analogy - Comparison of home systems to body's autonomic systems
  • Integration needed for a "full life" and connection
  • Practical Application of Ventral Vagal Spaces
  • Creating nourishing home spaces
  • Abundance
  • Importance of Touchstones
  • Explanation and significance of touchstones
  • Examples of personal or portable calming items
  • Creating a Ventral Vagal Space or Touchstone
  • Starting small by identifying objects that bring safety and contentment
  • Using childhood memories to influence current safe spaces
  • Applications and Benefits
  • Using the space for emotional regulation
  • Touchstones as portable reminders of safety
  • Recognising objects that already serve as touchstones
  • Importance of awareness and observation in identifying touchstones
  • Utilising Resources for Grounding
  • Examples of resources: lava lamps, messages, certain sounds
  • Strategies for implementing these resources in daily life

 

#173 9 things that are working for me when tackling hoarding and over-acquiring right now24 Jan 202500:40:53

In today's episode, I'm sharing nine strategies that are making a real difference in managing my hoarding behaviour and curbing over-acquiring right now. From tricks to overcome perfectionism and opening a daunting pile of letters to finding support in unexpected places and even leveraging a cute app, these tactics are moving me forward.

Join me as I lay out what's working, in the hope it sparks a few ideas for you too.

  • Opening 100 unopened letters
  • Overcoming fear and procrastination
  • Sorting coins and dealing with obsolete items
  • Decision-making process in letting go
  • Recognising dehoarding as self-kindness, not punishment
  • Benefits of having a friend who knows the hoarding situation
  • Managing perfectionism and doing things imperfectly
  • Using the "hummingbird method" for tasks
  • Introduction and use of the Finch app for self-care
  • Using virtual assistants for task reminders
  • Success with excessive mug collection and food cupboards
  • Impact of the documentary "Buy Now" on purchasing habits
  • Changing relationship with the inner critic
  • Overcoming Mail Anxiety Milestone
  • Kindness, Not Chore
  • Embrace Imperfection for Future Growth
  • Hands-Free Task Management
  • Best-before dates at the start of the year
  • Consumerism Documentary
  • Curbing Instant Gratification
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