Tales From the Toolbox. Stories from Hand in Hand Parenting – Details, episodes & analysis

In this episode, join all five of the Toolbox Team, Lara, Alice, Belynda, Stacy and Kelly, for a strong and supportive conversation about what resilience really is, and how it looks for our families. If you want to learn more about the building blocks of resilience, this is the episode for you. You’ll hear more about: Why resilience is NOT about gritting your teeth and going it alone Resilience is when children know they’ve got someone to turn to - a space to make sense of what has happened Why it’s not about perfection - stress and recovery builds resilience How our kids have built resilience (and why things like winning against their parents can be so helpful!) How to build resilience in medical scenarios, and why it is ok for it not to go perfectly - there is repair on the other side How having a network of support builds resilience for parents The unexpected benefits of learning to sit with discomfort, and how important it is to find the good stuff that’s already there - especially when things get tough.   You might enjoy some of the following resources on resilience: https://www.handinhandparenting.org/2013/08/backbone-and-bounce-building-resilience/ https://www.handinhandparenting.org/2019/02/helping-kids-face-stress-and-build-resilience/  Listen by Patty Wipfler and Tosha Schore is a great place to learn more about all the Hand in Hand Parenting tools (and is also available as an audiobook): https://www.handinhandparenting.org/listen-five-simple-tools/  If you are interested in finding a Listening Partner, see our previous episode all about this amazing parent support tool at https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/listening-partnerships-the-missing-piece-in-the/id1652623498?i=1000587203616  If you’d like to join the Tales from the Toolbox WhatsApp Group for Listening Partnerships, please complete this form and we’ll email you the details: https://forms.gle/DjjbTBxfTat1EMLE8  You can connect with Belynda in Australia at hello@belyndasmith.com.au You can connect with Alice in Shetland at alice@warmheartedparenting.com You can connect with Lara in London at lara@handinhandparenting.org You can connect with Stacy in California at growingoodness@gmail.com You can connect with Kelly in South Africa at kelly@consciousconfidentparenting.co.za You can continue the conversation with us at talesfromthetoolbox@gmail.com or you can follow on social media @talesfromthetoolboxpodcast We’d love it if you would subscribe to our podcast on your podcast platform, and if you could leave us a five star review that will help us reach more parents with these practical and supportive tools. Wishing you lots of connection and joy in your parenting, and thanks for listening. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/talesfromthetoolbox/message

In this episode, join four of the Tales from the Toolbox Team, Lara, Stacy, Belynda and Alice, for a warm and welcoming conversation on how the Hand in Hand Parenting tools really allow our children to FEEL the love and connection we offer.

If you want to get to grips with why connection is so powerful as an antidote to the busyness and stress that can get in the way of relationship, this is the episode for you.

You’ll hear more about:

• Micro moments of connection

• Unconditional love - what it is and why it matters

• Mummy hockey and how it brought connection

• How long it took us to bring play and listen to big feelings

• Why you are enough for your child

• How these tools can be a foundation of connection, especially if your child is struggling to feel your love

• How having a Special Time practice helps children learn to seek connection in their lives, and gives them a beautiful anchor point

• How ‘being present’ can be enough - we don’t have to ‘fix’ things.

You might enjoy some of the following resources on connection.

https://www.handinhandparenting.org/2022/01/games-for-kids-all-ages/

https://www.handinhandparenting.org/2013/08/build-connection-with-your-child-through-play-playlistening/

https://www.handinhandparenting.org/2015/01/children-need-connection/ 

Listen by Patty Wipfler and Tosha Schore is a great place to learn more about all the Hand in Hand Parenting tools (and is also available as an audiobook): https://www.handinhandparenting.org/listen-five-simple-tools/ 

If you are interested in finding a Listening Partner, see our previous episode all about this amazing parent support tool at https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/listening-partnerships-the-missing-piece-in-the/id1652623498?i=1000587203616  If you’d like to join the Tales from the Toolbox WhatsApp Group for Listening Partnerships, please complete this form and we’ll email you the details: https://forms.gle/DjjbTBxfTat1EMLE8 

You can connect with Belynda in Australia at hello@belyndasmith.com.au

You can connect with Alice in Shetland at alice@warmheartedparenting.com

You can connect with Lara in London at lara@handinhandparenting.org

You can connect with Stacy in California at growingoodness@gmail.com

You can connect with Kelly in South Africa at kelly@consciousconfidentparenting.co.za

You can continue the conversation with us at talesfromthetoolbox@gmail.com or you can follow on social media @talesfromthetoolboxpodcast

We’d love it if you would subscribe to our podcast on your podcast platform, and if you could leave us a five star review that will help us reach more parents with these practical and supportive tools.

Wishing you lots of connection and joy in your parenting, and thanks for listening.

---

Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/talesfromthetoolbox/message

In this episode join Lara, Stacy, Belynda and Alice for a joyful and jubilant conversation on the Hand in Hand Parenting tool of Special Time. We share our children’s love of this tool, how it is structured in our approach, and why it is so powerful for impacting the trajectory of the parent-child relationship.

You’ll hear more about

• Why we often start with Special Time when we share these tools with families
• What Special Time feels like - for you (hint - sometimes hard!) and your child
• How the Hand in Hand model of Special Time works
• How Special Time as a practice can have a powerful positive impact on sibling dynamics
• How to trust our child to direct this time together, and what to do if they ask for screens, sweets or something unsafe.
• Logistics - how long to do Special Time for, what to do when you have more than one child, what to call it
• Why this connection vitamin is a powerful way to build cooperation (and will sometimes end in tears - and why that’s a great thing)
• Tales of how we’ve use Special Time in our own families

Listen in if you want to learn about why Special Time is different to other forms of play, and how to make this tool a cornerstone of strong relationships in your family!

For some other resources on Special Time try these

• A video with more information on Special Time - https://www.handinhandparenting.org/2020/03/special-time-live-with-patty/
• Listen by Patty Wipfler and Tosha Schore is a great place to learn more about Special Time (and is also available as an audiobook) - https://www.handinhandparenting.org/listen-five-simple-tools/

You can continue the conversation with the toolbox team at talesfromthetoolbox@gmail.com

Follow on social media @talesfromthetoolboxpodcast

To help reach more parents with these practical and supportive tools please leave a review. Also remember to subscribe to this podcast on your podcast platform for all the latest episodes.

Wishing you lots of connection and joy in your parenting.

Thanks for listening.

• You can connect with Belynda in Australia at belynda.smith@meerilinga.org.au

• You can connect with Alice in Shetland at alice@warmheartedparenting.com

• You can connect with Lara in London at lara@handinhandparenting.org

• You can connect with Stacy in California at growingoodness@gmail.com

• You can connect with Kelly in South Africa at kelly@consciousconfidentparenting.co.za

In this first episode of Tales from the Toolbox, join Belynda, Kelly, Stacy, Lara and Alice for a warm and welcoming chat introducing Hand in Hand Parenting. They share how the podcast came to be, and why they want to share the Hand in Hand Parenting approach with you.

You’ll hear more about

• Hand in Hand Parenting as an organisation
• Bright spots: why it's good to turn towards what's going well
• How taking parenting moment by moment helps
• Making connection the heartbeat behind it all
• Why the team will be getting real and sharing their imperfect parenting moments as well as the shiny stuff
• A wish for all parents: to feel well supported and not alone with it
• Why they love this approach!

Listen in if you want to learn more about Hand in Hand Parenting and get an idea of the passion that drives Stacy in California to get up at 5am to connect with Alice in Shetland, Lara in London, Kelly in South Africa and Belynda (pushing past her bedtime) in Perth to record each episode.

Some introductory resources on the Hand in Hand Parenting tools you might enjoy:

Staylistening - https://www.handinhandparenting.org/2016/08/how-does-crying-help-you-and-your-child/

Special Time - https://www.handinhandparenting.org/2016/08/listen-launch-post-special-time/

Setting Limits - https://www.handinhandparenting.org/2016/08/how-to-set-limits-in-three-easy-steps/

Playlistening - https://www.handinhandparenting.org/2016/08/listen-launch-post-what-is-playlistening/

Listening Partnerships - https://www.handinhandparenting.org/2016/08/listen-launch-post-what-is-a-listening-partnership/

Five Types of Difficult Behaviour and Why They Happen - https://www.handinhandparenting.org/2016/08/five-types-of-bad-behavior-and-why-they-happen/

Aggression - https://www.handinhandparenting.org/2016/08/are-secret-fears-driving-your-childs-aggression/

You can continue the conversation with the toolbox team at talesfromthetoolbox@gmail.com

Follow on social media @talesfromthetoolboxpodcast

To help reach more parents with these practical and supportive tools please leave a review. Also remember to subscribe to this podcast on your podcast platform for all the latest episodes.

Wishing you lots of connection and joy in your parenting.

Thanks for listening.

• You can connect with Belynda in Australia at belynda.smith@meerilinga.org.au
• You can connect with Alice in Shetland at alice@warmheartedparenting.com
• You can connect with Lara in London at lara@handinhandparenting.org
• You can connect with Stacy in California at growingoodness@gmail.com
• You can connect with Kelly in South Africa at kelly@consciousconfidentparenting.co.za

We'll be launching on 2nd November 2022. 

New episodes go live every Tuesday evening or Wednesday depending on where you are in the world. 

Join all five of the Tales from the Toolbox Team, Kelly, Belynda, Stacy, Alice and Lara, for a short bonus episode where they geek out a bit about the science behind Hand in Hand parenting and taking a connection-based approach. 

If you’re curious about what happens in our brains as we seek safety and connection and the practical implications of this through childhood and adolescence then this is the episode for you.

You’ll hear more about:

• The brain science that helps us understand what’s going on for our kids in hard moments.
• How to help them to gain the safety that allows their thinking brain to come back ‘online’ after they’ve been off-track or upset. 
• Why breaks in connection WILL happen, and some reassuring information about why this is ok.
• How children develop an internalised sense of safety and connection as they grow and develop, and the importance of repairing it when it inevitably breaks. 
• How connection is the super protective factor in supporting adolescents as they make the transition to adulthood.

Join us!

If you are interested in finding a Listening Partner, see our previous episode all about this amazing parent support tool at ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/listening-partnerships-the-missing-piece-in-the/id1652623498?i=1000587203616⁠  If you’d like to join the Tales from the Toolbox WhatsApp Group for Listening Partnerships, please complete this form and we’ll email you the details: ⁠https://forms.gle/DjjbTBxfTat1EMLE8⁠ 

You might enjoy some of the following resources on connection-focused parenting.

This article discusses the ETR study we mention in the episode. https://www.handinhandparenting.org/2011/11/parent-child-connectedness-takes-us-beyond-emotional-intelligence/

Parenting from the Inside Out by Daniel Seigel is a wonderful book if you want to learn more about the interpersonal neurobiology and attachment research that’s happening in a parent-child relationship, whether we realise or not. 

https://www.handinhandparenting.org/2017/01/science-behind-hand-hand-parenting-tool-staylistening/

https://www.handinhandparenting.org/2019/09/brain-science-of-childrens-emotions-replay/ 

Listen by Patty Wipfler and Tosha Schore is a great place to learn more about all the Hand in Hand Parenting tools (and is also available as an audiobook): ⁠https://www.handinhandparenting.org/listen-five-simple-tools/⁠ 

You can connect with Belynda in Australia at hello@belyndasmith.com.au

You can connect with Alice in Shetland at alice@warmheartedparenting.com

You can connect with Lara in London at lara@handinhandparenting.org

You can connect with Stacy in California at growingoodness@gmail.com

You can connect with Kelly in South Africa at kelly@consciousconfidentparenting.co.za

You can continue the conversation with us at talesfromthetoolbox@gmail.com or you can follow on social media @talesfromthetoolboxpodcast

We’d love it if you would subscribe to our podcast on your podcast platform, and if you could leave us a five star review that will help us reach more parents with these practical and supportive tools.

Wishing you lots of connection and joy in your parenting, and thanks for listening.

---

Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/talesfromthetoolbox/message

Join all five of the Tales from the Toolbox Team, Lara, Kelly, Stacy, Belynda and Alice, for a long-awaited conversation on how connection can change the world! They share how we can build resilience in ourselves and our children, how to define connection and what it looks like in their lives. They also take a bit of a tangent to discuss the idea that as parents we are raising adults, not just managing children. If you want to learn about why defining connection is so tricky, and what it actually is, so that you can build more of it into your life,  this is the episode for you. You’ll hear more about: What connection is and why it’s a great idea to raise kids with this as a prime focus, rather than taking a more behaviourist approach. How old each host's children were when they started using the Hand in Hand Parenting tools How we keep learning new things about ourselves and our kids in every stage Disrespect - and why it doesn’t mean what we often think it means Why we might really want compliance but we need to keep working on ourselves to hold the bigger aims in mind! This is a long game - we are raising adults - so we keep returning to the outcomes we want for them Why support for us is vital as it helps us choose connection rather than getting stuck into the power struggles A bit of a philosophical rampage about connection. Join us! If you are interested in finding a Listening Partner, see our previous episode all about this amazing parent support tool at ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/listening-partnerships-the-missing-piece-in-the/id1652623498?i=1000587203616⁠  If you’d like to join the Tales from the Toolbox WhatsApp Group for Listening Partnerships, please complete this form and we’ll email you the details: ⁠https://forms.gle/DjjbTBxfTat1EMLE8⁠  You might enjoy some of the following resources on connection-focused parenting. ⁠https://www.handinhandparenting.org/2017/08/connection-parenting-doesnt-reward-bad-behavior/⁠  ⁠https://www.handinhandparenting.org/2022/10/understanding-connected-parenting/⁠ ⁠https://www.handinhandparenting.org/2019/02/build-connection-into-your-daily-routine/⁠ Listen by Patty Wipfler and Tosha Schore is a great place to learn more about all the Hand in Hand Parenting tools (and is also available as an audiobook): ⁠https://www.handinhandparenting.org/listen-five-simple-tools/⁠  You can connect with Belynda in Australia at hello@belyndasmith.com.au You can connect with Alice in Shetland at alice@warmheartedparenting.com You can connect with Lara in London at lara@handinhandparenting.org You can connect with Stacy in California at growingoodness@gmail.com You can connect with Kelly in South Africa at kelly@consciousconfidentparenting.co.za You can continue the conversation with us at talesfromthetoolbox@gmail.com or you can follow on social media @talesfromthetoolboxpodcast We’d love it if you would subscribe to our podcast on your podcast platform, and if you could leave us a five star review that will help us reach more parents with these practical and supportive tools. Wishing you lots of connection and joy in your parenting, and thanks for listening. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/talesfromthetoolbox/message

Join us, your Tales From The Toolbox Podcast team for a free invitation. Transform Family Life with Listening is a ten day challenge to help you dive deeper into the principles and practice of listening, the Hand in Hand way. In this special bonus episode we talk more about why we wanted to run this challenge and what you can expect from it. We’ll support you all along the way while you learn tools to transform your family life with listening.  Click on this link to join the challenge:   https://talesfromthetoolbox.ck.page/1d9a8032a5 Follow us on Instagram: @talesfromthetoolboxpodcast  Subscribe to get updates on new episodes.  Season 2 – coming late July! 

In this episode, join all five of the Tales from the Toolbox Team, Lara, Kelly, Stacy, Belynda and Alice, for a spirited conversation on how to set limits playfully. They share how this combination of two Hand in Hand Parenting tools, Playlistening and Setting Limits, is so powerful for bringing co-operation and joy.

If you want to learn about why playful limits are not permissive and how they actually help to dissipate the tensions that drive challenging behavior, whilst also bringing more laughter and joy then this is the episode for you!

You’ll hear more about:

• Why it IS worth the effort of bringing play to limit setting moments
• How play can shift the dynamic to make challenging situations go much more smoothly
• How playful limits can allow children to laugh away emotional tensions and bring benefits to parents too
• Ways the team have found to help muster that playful attitude from singing operatically to talking hands and the ‘idiot dance’.
• How undesirable behaviors (even spitting!) often dissipate when we can bring play to them.
• How putting on a silly voice might be all it takes for a co-operative bedtime
• How a family culture of playfulness can save time and energy now and pave the way towards ease in the future
• That playfulness even helps to build your child’s resilience and intelligence
• How playful limits are not a case of ‘rewarding bad behavior’ - instead they can communicate confidence and safety to our children AND turn a hard moment into a golden opportunity for connection
• Practicing a playful tone and why it’s helpful
• How getting better at setting limits can help us set boundaries in all areas of life

And, if you are interested in finding a Listening Partner and would like to join the Tales from the Toolbox WhatsApp Group, please complete this form and we’ll email you the details: https://forms.gle/DjjbTBxfTat1EMLE8

You might enjoy some of the following resources on playful limits.

• https://www.handinhandparenting.org/2018/09/setting-boundaries-on-behavior-with-humor/
• https://www.handinhandparenting.org/2018/03/set-limits-laughter/
• In this article, getting teddy involved was the perfect way to improve table manners: https://www.handinhandparenting.org/2018/01/improve-manners-with-playful-parenting/
• Listen by Patty Wipfler and Tosha Schore is a great place to learn more about all the Hand in Hand Parenting tools (and is also available as an audiobook): https://www.handinhandparenting.org/listen-five-simple-tools/

You can continue the conversation with us at talesfromthetoolbox@gmail.com or you can follow on social media @talesfromthetoolboxpodcast

We’d love it if you would subscribe to our podcast on your podcast platform, and if you could leave us a review that will help us reach more parents with these practical and supportive tools.

Wishing you lots of connection and joy in your parenting, and thanks for listening.

In this episode join Alice, Lara, Stacy and Belynda for a fun filled conversation about the Hand in Hand Parenting tool of Playlistening. We discuss how this tool is all about laughter and the amazing benefits that brings, from increased cooperation to less arguing and, most of all, an increased feeling of fun and connection in your family.

You’ll hear more about

• The benefits of letting your child be the strong, powerful, competent one while you are a bumbling fool
• How chasing the giggles helps your child heal from fears and other hurts
• Why roughhousing is a great thing to add to your day
• How Playlistening can help resolve sibling or friend squabbles
• That we all find it hard at times to be playful and how we can resource ourselves to return to a playful attitude
• Starting small and thinking about where you most want to bring lightness to your day
• Experimenting and knowing that it won’t always work out… and that’s ok!
• Using playfulness to bring limits that build cooperation and connection

If you want to learn how to approach tricky moments with play, find some ideas for games, and the kinds of situations where this tool can really help, this is the episode for you!

And, if you are interested in finding a Listening Partner and would like to join the Tales from the Toolbox WhatsApp Group, please complete this form and we’ll email you the details: https://forms.gle/DjjbTBxfTat1EMLE8

Some other resources on Playlistening you might enjoy:

• An article outlining this tool https://www.handinhandparenting.org/2019/03/get-past-power-battles-the-fun-way-a-playful-parents-guide-to-discipline/
• Listen by Patty Wipfler and Tosha Schore (which has a whole chapter dedicated to Playlistening AND is also available as an audiobook) - https://www.handinhandparenting.org/listen-five-simple-tools/
• These articles sharing playful ways to deal with many common parenting predicaments https://www.handinhandparenting.org/?s=playful+ways&id=23456
• Playful Parenting by Lawrence Cohen - a fantastic book for all things play related.
• The Art Of Roughousing by Anthony DeBenedet and Lawrence Cohen for some great ideas about how to get started, or level up, your physical play.

You can continue the conversation with us at talesfromthetoolbox@gmail.com or you can follow on social media @talesfromthetoolboxpodcast

We’d love it if you would subscribe to our podcast on your podcast platform, and if you could leave us a review that will help us reach more parents with these practical and supportive tools.

Wishing you lots of connection and joy in your parenting, and thanks for listening.

• You can connect with Belynda in Australia at belynda.smith@meerilinga.org.au
• You can connect with Alice in Shetland at alice@warmheartedparenting.com
• You can connect with Lara in London at lara@handinhandparenting.org
• You can connect with Stacy in California at growingoodness@gmail.com
• You can connect with Kelly in South Africa at kelly@consciousconfidentparenting.co.za