Mizzy Bender discusses the importance of communication in the swinger lifestyle and ethical non-monogamy. The key topics covered are:
*Setting Boundaries Before Events *Communicating Expectations and Desires *Honesty with Yourself and Your Partner *Communication Challenges and Strategies
For more behind the scenes and closer interactions
Who doesn’t love to talk about sex and everything in between? Mizzy Bender is here to talk through all the down, dirty and not so fun moments that life has to offer. Mizzy is one female that isn’t afraid to embrace all aspects of life from sexuality to success.
Mizzy Bender is a 41 year old female entrepreneur and influencer leading the way within the Swingers / ENM community. If you believe in Ethical Non-Monogamy, this is the community for you. Mizzy’s journey started out with Mindbender Parties and still remains putting on full thematic swinger events with her partner in crime, Mr. Mindbender.
Mizzy’s passion and drive is all about creating an environment that is all inclusive and judgment free, where we can be who we are without question. Where one can have a platform to talk about the things we are curious about without question, finding like minded humans to love and support one another.
Through this journey, Mizzy's Boutique was formed. An adult novelty shop starting out online and has migrated into a traveling boutique at swinger parties lifestyle events across the US.
Swingers Lifestyle: Is it Really Just the Single Guys? Part 4 of 4
It's a reoccurring topic that single guys in the swingers lifestyle get such a bad wrap. But why? I did some research by posting the question of .. What are some things single men in the swingers lifestyle do, that just irks you so much. The answers that came back really can apply to everyone, not just single men. I thought it would be a great exercise to talk about each entry one by one, really understanding the depth of it thought.
The specific talking points for today's show are:
Make plans after plenty of chat and planning and are a no show.
Thinking they are God's gift to the swinging community…
Email non stop and do not read our preferences
Hang out by the women’s bathroom at closing time
Are pushy, persistent, and can't take a hint. Yeah that's 3 things but they are equally annoying
For us it is not just single men, but couples as well. but to separate them, single men at least where we have been seem to think that just because we are in the lifestyle she is down to have sex with everyone. This also goes with couples, as we have had couples reach out to us who obviously did not read our profiles as to what we are looking for and wanting to get together for play. While we do enjoy a good encounter with others, we have been in and around this long enough to know what we want and we know how to attract the couples we are interested in. Over the years it has gotten worse where men think that going to a lifestyle party is an easy score as everyone there is DTF everyone else. Over the years we have met some of the nicest and well mannered single men, and while they are not her choice ( her choice not mine, I would love to see her play with more), she has played with a few who treat her like a lady and not a quick score.
Unfortunately if there are single guys like these examples , the host didn’t do a good job of vetting them. That’s why they are there. I’m not saying that single guys can’t be annoying because yes there are a shit ton of them.
I can’t wait to see the post about annoying single women.
Talking to my lady when I step away or just ignoring me like I’m not there. Jumping into her dms to try and play while keeping me out of the loop.
Swingers Lifestyle: Is it Really Just the Single Guys? Part 3 of 4
It's a reoccurring topic that single guys in the swingers lifestyle get such a bad wrap. But why? I did some research by posting the question of .. What are some things single men in the lifestyle do, that just irks you so much. The answers that came back really can apply to everyone, not just single men. I thought it would be a great exercise to talk about each entry one by one, really understanding the depth of it thought.
The specific talking points for today's show are:
Putting effort into breaking up couples or pursuing relationships within your group to play games.
The guys are like “I’m single but “….. no buts!!! You’re either on your own or you’re not. Period
Come up and try to join in or start touching without asking.
Well, I'm single (divorced), and have been in the lifestyle for about 9 years. I won't go to "events" until I find someone who will come with me. I won't go as a single guy...It's just not the same.
Ask to join in when I am doing a scene.
I've been on both sides of this coin. When I was with a partner (GF, FWB etc) all was well, met some great folks and had some memorable play time, however, when I found myself without one, it got weird. With some, I was still the same me I always was, just single but to others, it was like I was a walking STD, just waiting to spread disease and automatically deemed to be a pervert just looking to cause trouble, had no business being around some of the very same people I was when I had a woman in my life and was not given the time of day. To be fair, there are some guys who are overly aggressive and give a bad name and paint an unfair picture, as most single guys "get it" and respect others. TBH, I think we all can agree at least that a MMF threesome is still quite popular. My advice has always been, have no expectations and you won't be disappointed. This will always be a bone of contention though. Just the 2 cents of a currently single guy. 🙂
As a single guy in the LS something i hate the most is those that try to hit anything that moves at the clubs without even good conversations it's the simple reason i hate going to event alone i don't want to be counted in to them i go if i have a partner or have talk to a single lady or couple and we gonna meet at the event there is always that little group that wait in the dark co
Swingers Lifestyle: Is it Really Just the Single Guys? Part 2 of 4
It's a reoccurring topic that single men in the swingers lifestyle get such a bad wrap. But why? I did some research by posting the question of .. What are some things single men in the lifestyle do, that just irks you so much.
The specific talking points for today's show are below.
Single guys that grab. I can’t stand that!
When they treat us women like we just have sex with everyone, and then get mad when we politely reject them.
Follow my wife around, touching when I am not looking
Assuming you’ll have sex with them because you’re in the lifestyle.
Creeping into my inbox without asking permission first in the group.
Not understanding no
I cannot stand people who are pushy. If you proposition me and I say no.. the answer is no. It doesn’t mean ask me again in a week, a month. I am aware of their interest and if my decision changes I will inform them.
If it’s not ENTHUSIASTIC CONSENT, it’s not consensual.
Over-the-top compliments using words like "luscious, magnificent, goddess, delicious, breathtaking, etc" The ick factor is significant!!!
Honestly it's things that make women turned off to all guys on the LS. I won't say it's all of them because I know some that are respectful. But as a guy who is part of a couple, I feel that I'm looked at by some as the same before even knowing about me.
When they completely ignore the fact that a woman has a significant other and tries to aggressively (consistently tries to talk her into play without confronting her husband, significant other or life partner in some cases. To me that is completely disrespectful especially if they have been told to speak to said person already. This also applies to men who are there with girlfriends/ partners and some relationship men. But to be clear there are some women who fit the bill with this also. Just a humble opinion in a nutshell
Tell you how they are so big and great they are going to make you have the best orgasm of your life.
Wandering around a LS party until they ultimately realize it's clearly going nowhere because we aren't there for them.
Swingers Lifestyle: Is it Really Just the Single Guys? Part 1 of 4
Really Just the Single Guys? It's a reoccurring topic that single men in the swingers lifestyle get such a bad wrap. But why? I did some research by posting the question of .. What are some things single men in the lifestyle do, that just irks you so much. The answers that came back really can apply to everyone, not just single men. I thought it would be a great exercise to talk about each entry one by one, really understanding the depth of it thought.
The specific talking points for today's show are:
Message “hey” and nothing else.
They make plans to meet up with my wife then flake
When they wait for my husband to walk away to talk to me, that is always an immediate hell no.
Bailing/Being flaky, if you have a couple willing to give you a chance or vouch for you so you can go to an event. Do not take that for granted. Word spreads fast about who the D Bags are.
Do their best to steal your girlfriend/wife away. They succeed more often than I wish I’d never experienced.
Lingering after they are told you're not interested
When you state specifically you aren’t looking for them and they message anyway saying they would love to hang out with your spouse, or that if you change your mind to hit them up
Message couples when the couple clearly states no single males
PS: Once I am back to my podcast station in a few weeks, the audio will balance out.
For more behind the scenes and closer interactions
In this empowering episode, I dive deep into one of the most common — yet rarely talked about — emotions in ethical non-monogamy: jealousy. Whether you're new to the lifestyle or a seasoned swinger, jealousy can pop up in unexpected ways. But here's the truth: it doesn’t make you weak or “bad” — it makes you human.
You’ll learn:
How to identify the root causes of jealousy
The difference between jealousy and insecurity
Self-reflection practices that actually work
How to communicate jealousy without shame
Mindset shifts for thriving in non-monogamy
Whether you're in an open relationship, exploring polyamory, or part of the swinger lifestyle, this episode offers real talk, supportive tools, and an invitation to grow emotionally stronger — together.
Download your free Jealousy Reflection Journal Questions to support your journey. www.mizzybender.com
For more behind the scenes and closer interactions
Who doesn’t love to talk about sex and everything in between? Mizzy Bender is here to talk through all the down, dirty and not so fun moments that life has to offer. Mizzy is one female that isn’t afraid to embrace all aspects of life from sexuality to success.
Questions to Ask New Play Partners | Questions for Swingers
Mizzy Bender discusses the important questions to ask potential new play partners in the swinging lifestyle to avoid awkward or uncomfortable situations. She shares her personal experiences and insights on navigating the lifestyle as a newcomer, and provides a framework for vetting potential partners.
Key Topics
Mizzy's Journey in the Lifestyle
Questions to Ask Potential Play Partners
How long have you been in the lifestyle?
Mizzy suggests newer couples (less than a year) may not be as aligned and experienced.
This helps gauge their level of understanding and communication as a couple.
Whose idea was it to get involved in the lifestyle?
Mizzy wants to understand if both partners are equally enthusiastic or if one is just appeasing the other.
What are your rules and boundaries?
Mizzy prefers not to play with couples who have strict rules like "no kissing", as it doesn't align with her preferences.
Discussing rules and boundaries upfront is crucial to avoid uncomfortable situations.
What are you looking to get out of the lifestyle?
Mizzy emphasizes the importance of both partners being clear on their motivations and desires.
If a couple cannot articulate their goals, Missy may be hesitant to engage with them.
Observing Body Language and Interactions
Mizzy closely observes how potential play partners interact with each other, both online and in-person.
She looks for signs of alignment, comfort, and mutual enthusiasm, as opposed to one partner seeming disengaged or uncomfortable.
Mizzy is willing to politely decline play opportunities if she senses any misalignment or discomfort from either party.
When it comes to swinging, communication and consent are the foundation—but health and safety are just as critical. In this vlog, we break down the realities of STDs in the swingers lifestyle world: the ownership, how to stay protected, and how to normalize honest conversations about testing and treatment. Let’s make sexual health part of the pleasure.
This episode breaks the silence and empowers you to take charge of your sexual health. Whether you're a seasoned swinger or new to the lifestyle, this is essential info.
For your free work sheet, visit my blogs www.mizzybender.com
For more behind the scenes and closer interactions
Who doesn’t love to talk about sex and everything in between? Mizzy Bender is here to talk through all the down, dirty and not so fun moments that life has to offer. Mizzy is one female that isn’t afraid to embrace all aspects of life from sexuality to success.
Mizzy Bender is a 41 year old female entrepreneur and influencer leading the way within the Swingers / ENM community. If you believe in Ethical Non-Monogamy, this is the community for you. Mizzy’s journey started out with Mindbender Parties and still remains putting on full thematic swinger events with her partner in crime, Mr. Mindbender.
Mizzy’s passion and drive is all about creating an environment that is all inclusive and judgment free, where we can be who we are without question. Where one can have a platform to talk about the things we are curious about without question, finding like minded humans to love and support one another.
Ask Mizzy: Real Questions from the Swinger Community
Key Topics and Summaries of what to expect to learn:
Navigating the Swinger's Lifestyle as a Beginner
Recommends that newcomers to the lifestyle observe and experience different types of swinger events (house parties, club settings, hotel takeovers, etc.) for at least 6 months before actively participating.
Be aware of event rules, dress codes, and etiquette to ensure a positive experience.
I stress the importance of having a "club bag" with essentials like condoms, lube, and a change of clothes to feel prepared and confident.
Addressing Insecurity and Confidence Issues
A viewer's wife is insecure about her appearance compared to other women in the lifestyle.
Suggests the wife engage in self-reflection, journaling, and self-care activities to build her confidence and security.
I emphasize that a person's unique qualities and personality are what make them attractive, not physical appearance alone.
Communicating Desires and Boundaries in Open/Swinging Relationships
A viewer's open relationship is transitioning as he moves back home from being stationed elsewhere. I advise the couple to focus on reconnecting and rebuilding their foundation before considering reopening the relationship.
For a wife interested in becoming a "hot wife", I stress the importance of clear communication between the couple about boundaries, expectations, and how to set up successful interactions with potential partners.
Hotel Takeover Events
I explain the typical setup of hotel takeover events, where the party floor has open doors and people can freely move between rooms to watch or participate.
Advises following the specific rules and etiquette of each event, such as getting permission before entering a room or engaging in any activities.
In conclusion, I would like to emphasize the importance of self-awareness, communication, and establishing clear boundaries as keys to navigating the swinger's lifestyle successfully. She provides practical advice and encouragement to help viewers overcome insecurities and build confidence to explore their desires in a safe and ethical manner.
Inside the Swinger Lifestyle: Myths, Realities, and Essential Tips for Newcomers
What to Expect from todays Swingers Lifestyle Education
Debunking Swinger Lifestyle Myths My aim is to offer an honest and transparent view of the swinger lifestyle, addressing frequent myths and misunderstandings. It's essential to approach this lifestyle with realistic expectations rather than fantasies or fluff. Navigating the swinger lifestyle involves complex emotions, clear communication, and careful boundary-setting.
Typical Flow of a Swinger Event Swinger events typically kick off around 9 PM, as guests arrive, settle in, find their spots, and begin socializing. Dancing often helps build initial connections, but it's critical to remember that consent remains paramount at every stage. Sexual activities generally start between 10:30 PM and midnight; however, it's far from the assumed "orgy" scenario. Open play can happen, but it's structured, respectful, and consensual—single individuals rarely engage with multiple partners simultaneously. I strongly recommend observing and understanding the dynamics of an event before actively participating.
Importance of Consent and Boundaries in the Swingers Lifestyle I stress the vital importance of using your voice to establish and maintain personal boundaries, both as a participant and event organizer. I've shared instances where I intervened directly to address inappropriate behavior, ensuring everyone's safety and comfort. Consent is dynamic and can be revoked at any moment; attendees must feel empowered to say "no" without any fear of negative repercussions.
Advice for Swinger Newcomers For those new to the lifestyle, I recommend an initial observation period of approximately six months. This helps newcomers debunk myths and genuinely understand the realities involved. I encourage trying different event styles and hosts to discover the best match for your comfort and preferences. Effective communication, strong boundary-setting, and the willingness to speak up are crucial for successfully navigating this lifestyle.
For more behind the scenes and closer interactions
Blog: www.mizzybender.com
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Who doesn’t love to talk about sex and everything in between? Mizzy Bender is here to talk through all the down, dirty and not so fun moments that life has to offer. Mizzy is one female that isn’t afraid to embrace all aspects of life from sexuality to success.
Mizzy Bender is a 41 year old female entrepreneur and influencer leading the way within the Swingers / ENM community. If you believe in Ethical Non-Monogamy, this is the community for you. Mizzy’s journey started out with Mindbender Parties and still remains putting on full thematic swinger events with her partner in crime, Mr. Mindbender.
Mizzy’s passion and drive is all about creating an environment that is all inclusive and judgment free, where we can be who we are without question. Where one can have a platform to talk about the things we are curious about without question, finding like minded humans to love and support one another.
Through this journey, Mizzy's Boutique was formed. An adult novelty shop starting out online and has migrated into a traveling boutique at swinger parties lifestyle events across the US.
For more behind the scenes and closer interactions
Who doesn’t love to talk about sex and everything in between? Mizzy Bender is here to talk through all the down, dirty and not so fun moments that life has to offer. Mizzy is one female that isn’t afraid to embrace all aspects of life from sexuality to success.
Mizzy Bender is a 41 year old female entrepreneur and influencer leading the way within the Swingers / ENM community. If you believe in Ethical Non-Monogamy, this is the community for you. Mizzy’s journey started out with Mindbender Parties and still remains putting on full thematic swinger events with her partner in crime, Mr. Mindbender.
Mizzy’s passion and drive is all about creating an environment that is all inclusive and judgment free, where we can be who we are without question. Where one can have a platform to talk about the things we are curious about without question, finding like minded humans to love and support one another.
Through this journey, Mizzy's Boutique was formed. An adult novelty shop starting out online and has migrated into a traveling boutique at swinger parties lifestyle events across the US.
For more behind the scenes and closer interactions
Who doesn’t love to talk about sex and everything in between? Mizzy Bender is here to talk through all the down, dirty and not so fun moments that life has to offer. Mizzy is one female that isn’t afraid to embrace all aspects of life from sexuality to success.
Mizzy Bender is a 41 year old female entrepreneur and influencer leading the way within the Swingers / ENM community. If you believe in Ethical Non-Monogamy, this is the community for you. Mizzy’s journey started out with Mindbender Parties and still remains putting on full thematic swinger events with her partner in crime, Mr. Mindbender.
Mizzy’s passion and drive is all about creating an environment that is all inclusive and judgment free, where we can be who we are without question. Where one can have a platform to talk about the things we are curious about without question, finding like minded humans to love and support one another.
Through this journey, Mizzy's Boutique was formed. An adult novelty shop starting out online and has migrated into a traveling boutique at swinger parties lifestyle events across the US.
Shop Mizzy's Boutique: www.MizzysBoutique.com
Who doesn’t love to talk about sex and everything in between? Mizzy Bender is here to talk through all the down, dirty and not so fun moments that life has to offer. Mizzy is one female that isn’t afraid to embrace all aspects of life from sexuality to success.
Mizzy Bender is a 41 year old female entrepreneur and influencer leading the way within the Swingers / ENM community. If you believe in Ethical Non-Monogamy, this is the community for you. Mizzy’s journey started out with Mindbender Parties and still remains putting on full thematic swinger events with her partner in crime, Mr. Mindbender.
Mizzy’s passion and drive is all about creating an environment that is all inclusive and judgment free, where we can be who we are without question. Where one can have a platform to talk about the things we are curious about without question, finding like minded humans to love and support one another.
Through this journey, Mizzy's Boutique was formed. An adult novelty shop starting out online and has migrated into a traveling boutique at swinger parties lifestyle events across the US.
Mizzy Bender is a 41 year old female entrepreneur and influencer leading the way within the Swingers / ENM community. If you believe in Ethical Non-Monogamy, this is the community for you. Mizzy’s journey started out with Mindbender Parties and still remains putting on full thematic swinger events with her partner in crime, Mr. Mindbender.
Mizzy’s passion and drive is all about creating an environment that is all inclusive and judgment free, where we can be who we are without question. Where one can have a platform to talk about the things we are curious about without question, finding like minded humans to love and support one another.
Through this journey, Mizzy's Boutique was formed. An adult novelty shop starting out online and has migrated into a traveling boutique at swinger parties lifestyle events across the US.
Mizzy strongly believes in being open, honest, and transparent about one's needs, boundaries, and experiences in the lifestyle.
She encourages others to do the same, as it helps build trust and ensures everyone is on the same page.
Mizzy is not afraid to ask difficult questions or express her feelings, as she believes this is the best way to have fulfilling and drama-free play experiences.
For more behind the scenes and closer interactions
Who doesn’t love to talk about sex and everything in between? Mizzy Bender is here to talk through all the down, dirty and not so fun moments that life has to offer. Mizzy is one female that isn’t afraid to embrace all aspects of life from sexuality to success.
Mizzy Bender is a 41 year old female entrepreneur and influencer leading the way within the Swingers / ENM community. If you believe in Ethical Non-Monogamy, this is the community for you. Mizzy’s journey started out with Mindbender Parties and still remains putting on full thematic swinger events with her partner in crime, Mr. Mindbender.
Mizzy’s passion and drive is all about creating an environment that is all inclusive and judgment free, where we can be who we are without question. Where one can have a platform to talk about the things we are curious about without question, finding like minded humans to love and support one another.
Through this journey, Mizzy's Boutique was formed. An adult novelty shop starting out online and has migrated into a traveling boutique at swinger parties lifestyle events across the US.
Through this journey, Mizzy's Boutique was formed. An adult novelty shop starting out online and has migrated into a traveling boutique at swinger parties lifestyle events across the US.
For more behind the scenes and closer interactions
Who doesn’t love to talk about sex and everything in between? Mizzy Bender is here to talk through all the down, dirty and not so fun moments that life has to offer. Mizzy is one female that isn’t afraid to embrace all aspects of life from sexuality to success.
Mizzy Bender is a 41 year old female entrepreneur and influencer leading the way within the Swingers / ENM community. If you believe in Ethical Non-Monogamy, this is the community for you. Mizzy’s journey started out with Mindbender Parties and still remains putting on full thematic swinger events with her partner in crime, Mr. Mindbender.
Mizzy’s passion and drive is all about creating an environment that is all inclusive and judgment free, where we can be who we are without question. Where one can have a platform to talk about the things we are curious about without question, finding like minded humans to love and support one another.
Through this journey, Mizzy's Boutique was formed. An adult novelty shop starting out online and has migrated into a traveling boutique at swinger parties lifestyle events across the US.
Who doesn’t love to talk about sex and everything in between? Mizzy Bender is here to talk through all the down, dirty and not so fun moments that life has to offer. Mizzy is one female that isn’t afraid to embrace all aspects of life from sexuality to success.
Mizzy Bender is a 41 year old female entrepreneur and influencer leading the way within the Swingers / ENM community. If you believe in Ethical Non-Monogamy, this is the community for you. Mizzy’s journey started out with Mindbender Parties and still remains putting on full thematic swinger events with her partner in crime, Mr. Mindbender.
Mizzy’s passion and drive is all about creating an environment that is all inclusive and judgment free, where we can be who we are without question. Where one can have a platform to talk about the things we are curious about without question, finding like minded humans to love and support one another.
Through this journey, Mizzy's Boutique was formed. An adult novelty shop starting out online and has migrated into a traveling boutique at swinger parties lifestyle events across the US.
