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A correction email about ROSA'S LIE and truly the most epically hyperbolic Reader of the Month winner to date!

When there's an exclamation point in the name of the book, you know it's going to be a good one. But will KIDNAPPED BY THE CULT! ever deliver on the promise of its title? Find out with filmmaker Sam Wineman as he falls in love with every character in Sweet Valley and Marissa dreams up some new cult-themed merch.

Christian Dueñas is back for more on Rose Jameson/Rosa Jimenez. We also imagine an all-boys Jesuit version of Sweet Valley High and read a particularly purple Reader of the Month letter.

Welp, Season 9 is starting with a bang. We've got another racism book on our hands. Thankfully, no one gets hurt this time (though a certain Nana Jimenez would probably be pretty darn hurt if she found out what her granddaughter did with her cake!). Christian Dueñas, host of the brand new music show PRIMER, is our guest and guide through this wild and barely-tolerable tale of Pi Beta Alpha and their newest pledge, Rose Jameson. Also Todd and Bruce are in a fight.

Oh-h My-y God, we've got an EXTREMELY special episode at long last! As only the Super Star books can, BRUCE'S STORY brings you a ridiculous Sweet Valley Saga from the POV of one of its richest and least likable characters. Bruce Patman (or, if you prefer, "Pac-Man") sits at the center of this one, looking really dumb but in a way that's unsettlingly...endearing? Maybe? STRANGE BEDFELLOWS co-hosts and past chaos-agent guests Jack Shepherd and Tanner Greenring are back to help us see the real Bruce at last.

Don't forget about the Reader of the Month letter from book 80!

It's another mis-titled misadventure of random characters, and this time All Time Favorite guest Don Flaxbart is here to simultaneously despise the book and read deep into the twisted heart of its male lead. A thrilling, dirt-bike filled mega finale to Season 8 of Sweet Valley Diaries!

Bryanna McGeough joins Marissa again and shares her criteria for choosing with Sweet Valley books to read and her personal tales of being an Elizabethan high school journalist. Plus, Reader of the Month for October 1991!

What could be worse than having a twin brother who stole a car? For Sarah Eastborne, the answer is: that twin brother getting clean, being released from his rehab facility, and coming to live with you. Social worker and BSC/SVH reader Briana McGeough joins us to discuss this book, which also shoehorns in some info about 12-step programs.

Claire and Marissa explore the dreamworld of Jessica Wakefield. Plus, a particularly lyrical Reader of the Month essay. Come along, if you choose!

At long last, we will find out if Scott Trost is as sexist as he seems. Or, we'll at least find out if his TRUE self is sexist. Like, maybe society made him sexist? Or something? Todd will explain it to you, ladies. With special guest Claire Sharood!

I got my hands on a US edition of CHEATING TO WIN, but it didn't arrive until after last week's extra drama came out. I'm between two short weekend trips, so please accept this dramatic reading as this week's little episode!

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Guest Tabatha Myers tells us about her history with Sweet Valley; then, a close look at the copyright pages of a British edition of CHEATING TO WIN, and a call for ghostwriter intel.

The latest in our series of Very Special Episodes, this is the one about accidentally being on sports enhancing drugs some shady dude sold you in a baggie. Lifelong SVH reader Tabatha Myers joins Marissa to get super serious on this very serious and seriously handled subject.

Let's rap about the ethical implications of beauty pageants! Plus, the second Reader of the Month wants to make sure you know she doesn't LOOK like a bookworm.

In this book, Jessica asks Elizabeth how being named the prettiest, smartest, and most talented can be demeaning. And she has a point. Kind of. In a book that is both frivolous and substantive, and which is unafraid to let a gray area issue be solidly gray, we find identical twins once again at odds. Denise Boylan joins Marissa to laugh at them.

More excuses for Amy's behavior, tips for how to look like you're paying attention, and the first ever SVH Reader of the Month!

"Tennis" anyone? Marissa is joined this week by Brian Duss for a Very Special Episode. Why so special? For starters, we learn Amy Sutton has some hidden depth of character. But mostly it's because we're getting some **sound trumpets** explicitly gay characters! Alas, "explicit" only in one sense of the word. But still.

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Mary Kate and Marissa share stories from middle and high school and beyond about the effects of diet culture, generational baggage around eating and weight, and trying not to perpetuate a cycle.

Only the very best of friends agrees to read the Robin books. This week, Marissa's BFF since high school, Mary Kate Battles, is back for more punishment as we watch Robin destroy herself. Fully 70 books after her maltreatment in POWER PLAY, this one attempts to atone for that sin, but fails at every turn, because it's 1991.

CW: Eating disorder, body shaming, weight talk. Oh my.

Episode 74 has been delayed by a week, so this seemed like a great time to try something new! Marissa catches you up on a character's arc over the series. In this case, Robin Wilson, whose first appearance in Book 4 made a thud so resounding that it's echoed through the entire series. Robin is the star of Book 74, so why not get up to speed by listening to her most recent star turn, in Book 46: DECISIONS, which is replayed following Marissa's dissertation on Robin.

As our first Gen Z guest, Phoebe explains the concept of "Warrior Cats" to Marissa. Also, how is Sweet Valley High like the Duggar Family? What's Jessica really up to? And more questions Marissa's guests can't stop asking her/answering for her.

It's a camera. Regina's legacy is a Nikon film camera. And when you take a photo with the camera, and squint at the negatives just so, maybe you'll see Regina's ghost giving you a thumbs up for thwarting a drug cartel. Phoebe Danaher is here to help Marissa explain all this, and to spotlight our scary, older, date-of-the-month, Chad!

All of the name-dropping, none of the star-fucking

Sometimes when a rock star has a teen girl living in his house it's actually not an issue. How is this possible? Well, the teens of Sweet Valley might have it twisted, but Gabe Mara and Marissa will explain it all.

Some music in this episode comes from Purple Planet.

"Toumani Diabate Plays the Kora"

Is being famous really so great? What IS Eric Parker's talk show? Can one night on television launch a whole career in entertainment? These are the kinds of questions Jessica Wakefield should have been asking, but instead Marissa and actual professional actor Alex Jennings are asking on her behalf.

Don't let the apparent middle-agedness of the cover model fool you -- that's 16-year-old Jessica Wakefield all dolled up for her star turn on the Eric Parker's national evening talk show. Or, at least it's one of those Wakefield girls. Actor Alex Jennings (THE GOLDBERGS) returns (#7: DEAR SISTER was her last appearance) to talk all this out.

Jordan Crucchiola is back, and she gets a dose of the Feeling Seen treatment as Marissa asks what Sweet Valley High student she felt most seen by.

Today's esteemed guest, is Jordan Crucchiola is the host or co-host of several podcasts -- AUGHTSTERION, DISASTER GIRLS, and of course, the one that Marissa produces, FEELING SEEN! And she's the perfect person to discuss this tale of Claire Middleton, the girl who would be quarterback. Will Ken Matthews's head be turned (now that he can see again)? Is a supposedly nice girl who does shitty things more dangerous than an out-and-out Jessica? These questions and more are addressed in this long-awaited final book of "Season 7."

Hey! It's a little more from Book 69, FRIEND AGAINST FRIEND! Instead of snappy conversation, today's episode is a little update on the show and an extended passage from the book. After Andy Jenkins was attacked, sociology teacher Ms. Jacobi takes it upon herself to teach her students that prejudice can be easy, arbitrary...and enticing! But also bad. The point is that it's bad.

What could be better than a kind of hamfisted '90s attempt at tackling racism? Almost anything? Well, good (if shocking) news: that's not what this is. Neil Freemount and Andy Jenkins star in a very special episode of Sweet Valley Diaries: FRIEND AGAINST FRIEND.

Huge thanks to Kali Baker Johnson.

Andy Greene is back and we're talking bands, band battles, battles with band instruments, and bad band boys.

High school juniors Dana Larson and Aaron Dallas have sworn off of love forever. To address this crisis, Elizabeth and Todd concoct a scheme as disappointingly chaste as it is poorly conceptualized, then take sides on a bet over whether it will work. Meanwhile, Jessica and Lila agree to be roadies for a new band in town, sight unseen. Just another week in Sweet Valley, CA! Andy Greene (Gossip Guys, The Naked Man, Wanderings) joins Marissa to unpack it all.

Now that The Parent Plot is behind us, Marissa, Rebecca, and Sommer talk about their relationship to a film that, despite its similar title, was clearly NOT the source material for Sweet Valley High #67. Apologies to the Lohan Stans, this one is for the Mills Maniacs.

Rebecca Russell and Sommer Austin are back for one last ride as we bring the Wakefield Trial Separation Saga to an end...and say a fond farewell Ned Wakefield's mayoral bid, too!

Will Jessica and Elizabeth join forces to trick their parents into falling back in love? Or is all their scheming totally pointless and things just play out the same way as if they hadn't tried at all? Listen and learn! Plus, a Collinswatch to end all Collinswatches (but don't worry, we'll still have Collinswatch).

The cover of WHO'S TO BLAME? suggested that it was going to be a big running away book. It wasn't (only a little running away was involved), so Marissa, Rebecca Russell, and Sommer Austin are sharing their own failed runaway tales, such as they are. And yes, a high school mime troupe is involved.

It's a Chicago Ladies in Comedy Reunion, with Rebecca Russell returning and now comedian Sommer Austin joining the Wakefield Separation Arc zoo crew. Jessica's finally going to meet the guy she met on the Teen Party Line, Elizabeth is making bad choices out of depression, and Steven can't stop coming home from college. Hijinks (and a pretty meager attempt at running away) ensue!

Some music in this episode comes from Purple Planet. Thanks for the music!

Ned and Alice Wakefield don't get a lot of love here at Sweet Valley Diaries, but they're both hurting now, so...eh, we still have some criticisms. Everyone's a great fictional parent in hindsight! PLUS learn the exciting comedy origin story behind Marissa's friendship with our fabulous guest Rebecca Russell.

Rebecca Russell joins Marissa for the first book in the Great Wakefield Divorce (!?) Trilogy. Everything's on the line (and/or the party line) and no questions will be answered!

Marissa, Katie, Kat, and Kyle cram in all the YA book and book podcast nerdiness that will fit into the 10 minutes we had left in the recording studio!

Steven/Tricia/Cara love triangle expert Katie LaDue is back, joined by Kat Rebar and, to a lesser extent, Kyle Rebar to talk about this book and its stunning lack of ghosts. But what it lacks in ghosts, it makes up for in hang-gliding accidents and trauma responses!

Inspired by Elizabeth's attempts at reinvention in book 63, Caitlin and Marissa compare notes about times they've made big change (plus a lengthy tangent about high school theater typecasting).

Now who's new? Elizabeth is reinventing herself, and this time it goes way beyond a two-week perm. Caitlin McCann is back to dissect Liz's meteoric rise to the top of the local surfing beat, and the self-sabotage that sends her crashing back to status quo.

Check out Caitlin's The Lit Review

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Marissa and Julia compare notes on their respective high school dance experiences; 20-year-old crush gossip is spilled.

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Marissa's Substack, Metaforia

At long last, it's an all-Elizabeth-and-Jessica book! No school (almost)! No friends (almost)! No teachers! Just our twins and the most ridiculous dinner date disguise debacle since Mrs. Doubtfire. Julia Kenney Smith joins Marissa in the (actual) studio!

Did you notice how there was no big, lusty "Boys" description of Patty's boyfriend, Jim Hollis, in BOY TROUBLE's main episode? Even though he's the boy that's the source of the titular trouble?

It's because he doesn't really get described.

This extra drama is kind of a thought experiment around why.

Patty Gilbert is having a scheduling nightmare! Her boyfriend is home from college for the first time in a month...and her sister is home from NorCal for the first time in 6 months! This is a bigger crisis than it sounds like. Also, there are handpainted t-shirts in this one.

Marissa Wasseluk returns to mark this auspicious Season 7 premiere!

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Picture this: it's December 1989. You're at the Walden Books inside the mall. As you browse the latest soapy middle-grade serials, what to your wondering eyes should appear but an ENTIRE book all about the elusive, elegant, rich, and endlessly scheming Lila Fowler. Your favorite character in the Sweet Valley High series.

Fast forward: it's 22 years later, and two Elder Millennials named Marissa are going to retell the story of this very important novel to you.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS, GLADIATORS!

Thanks to guest reader Marissa Wasseluk and Purple Planet Music.

On this very special narrative-style hiatus bonus episode: A listener’s email leads down an internet research rabbit hole of ridiculous proportions. Caution: there will be dolls.

Watch the Bandai Sweet Valley High Dolls ad on YouTube