A podcast about self-care by a host that hates the term self-care. Therapist KC Davis, author of the book How to Keep House While Drowning talks about mental health, care tasks, and more.
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131: God Didn’t Make Us To Hate Us with Rev. Lizzie
Monday, February 10, 2025 • Duration 47:54
I’m excited to have Rev. Lizzie return to the show today to discuss her new book, God Didn't Make Us To Hate Us. Rev. Lizzie is an Episcopal priest who has become a good friend–and is always a fun guest! Join us!
Show Highlights:
Rev. Lizzie’s new book—and why she wrote it
Considering the question, “Why do I believe what I believe?”
The truth about Christianity means telling the WHOLE story.
The comfort in being loved by God when we’ve been told by people that we are “bad and broken”
Living in joy is THE goal.
The four parts of Rev. Lizzie’s book
A list of books which are foundational pieces of Rev. Lizzie’s faith journey
Listen in while Rev. Lizzie reads a moving excerpt from her book about her birthing experience, sin, and God’s perfect love.
Resources and Links:
Connect with Rev. Lizzie: TikTok, Instagram, and God Didn't Make Us To Hate Us
Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook
Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning
We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
123: Are You an Introvert or is it Social Anxiety? with Natasha Daniels
Monday, December 9, 2024 • Duration 43:55
Social anxiety is an interesting topic. Natasha Daniels is a social anxiety therapist and mom who joined us recently to discuss OCD and kids; today, we are exploring another form of anxiety as Natasha helps us understand social anxiety. She wrote a memoir, Out of My Shell, detailing her personal experience.
Show Highlights:
Natasha’s background, personal experience, and book about social anxiety
The neuro-divergent affirming movement
The difference between social anxiety and introversion
Do we ALL have some degree of social anxiety?
Thoughts on “bed rot,” social anxiety, and what’s “normal”
Social anxiety as a defense mechanism
The isolation that comes with social anxiety
OCD, social anxiety, and autism—a common connection?
“A paralyzing fear of others’ perceptions and a preoccupation with managing those perceptions”
The difference between a defense mechanism and a personality trait
An overview of Natasha’s experience with social anxiety and why she wrote her book
Social anxiety is NOT a self-esteem issue.
Outsmarting the negative critic in your head
Dr. Kristin Neff’s concept of “fierce self-compassion,” which is “a feistiness of advocacy”
Resources and Links:
Future Fans:Helping little kids become BIG fans
Connect with Natasha Daniels: Website (and book) and Instagram
Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook
Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning
We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
33: What Stress Animal are You? with Dr Lindsey Cooley
Episode 33
Monday, May 15, 2023 • Duration 48:37
**Content Warning: This episode references school shootings and the murder of George Floyd.
Stress is a word we throw around regarding many aspects of life, and we all know what it is to feel stress, but how much do we truly understand about it? Stress can take any able-bodied, able-minded person and bring them to a whole new level, whether or not they have a diagnosed condition. As we break down the topic of stress, each person has different responses, personality styles, and primary goals. Join us to find out which stress animal you are!
I’m joined by Dr. Lindsey Cooley, who posted a TikTok about stress, and I knew we had to have this conversation on the podcast. She is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist who specializes in school-aged children/teens, emotional and behavioral disorders, LGBTQ youth, ADHD, and autism spectrum disorder.
Show Highlights:
Why we should be kind to ourselves–even if we don’t have a diagnosis
What is stress? (THE million-dollar question!)
The phases of stress (alarm, resistance, and exhaustion) and how prolonged stress can cause diseases of adaptation
How our culture normalizes “too much stress”
How stressful life events can affect executive functioning, relationships, energy, and more (The Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale and Adverse Childhood Experience are well-known measurement tools.)
Why we need to legitimize that most of our stress is caused by normal reactions to dysfunctional systems
The medical model of disease vs. the social model of disease
Common symptoms of being in a prolonged stress cycle
Differences in acute stress, chronic stress, and traumatic stress
How traumatic stress occurs when we watch something like the murder of George Floyd and school shootings
How the “stress animals” (eagle, turtle, chameleon, and lion) concept came from Lynn Lott's Top Card Activity
How your personality style and stress response help determine your stress animal
How we can learn to care for ourselves in the middle of stress
Resources:
Connect with Dr. Lindsey Cooley: TikTok
Mentioned in this episode: Lynn Lott's Top Card Activity, the Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale, the ACE Scale, and "Kids Are Suffering from Toxic Stress" LA Times article
Connect with KC: TikTok, Instagram, and Website
Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning
We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
32: Book Chat: Real Self Care with Dr Pooja Lakshmin
Episode 32
Monday, May 8, 2023 • Duration 43:37
If you follow me at all, you know that I really don’t like the word self-care. But today, I’m giving you an entire episode about Real Self Care!
My guest today is Dr. Pooja Lakshmin, a perinatal psychiatrist, writer, and CEO of Gemma, a women's mental health community, has a fresh perspective on self-care. In her debut nonfiction book, Real Self Care, Dr. Lakshmin challenges the conventional concept of self-care, which is largely full of empty calories and devoid of substance. She argues that the game is rigged, and faux self-care only keeps us looking outward, comparing ourselves with others or striving for a certain type of perfection, which means it's incapable of truly nourishing us in the long run. Her insights on self-care are particularly relevant in the current times, when many people feel overwhelmed, overburdened, and burnt out.
Show Highlights:
The difference between a “system” and “philosophy”.
There is no one right answer, there are hundreds of answers.
Hope as a skill, not a new concept.
A boundary is the process you went through where you decided that you were worthy of standing up for what you want.
You know how to practice real self-care when you suffer from a mental health condition.
There is no one answer for recovery from religious trauma.
Links and Resources:
Connect with Dr. Pooja Lakshmin: Instagram, Twitter
Real Self Care, Dr. Pooja Lakshmin
Connect with KC: TikTok, Instagram, and Website
Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning
We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
31: Wait. Am I ADHD? with Dr. Sasha Hamdani
Episode 31
Monday, May 1, 2023 • Duration 51:57
Many adults, like me, are diagnosed with ADHD later in life. It is fascinating to hear the stories of how this diagnosis is missed in their childhood years. I’m joined by Dr. Sasha Hamdani, a board-certified psychiatrist and ADHD clinical specialist who just happens to spend some of her spare time on TikTok. Let’s get the facts from an expert! Join us for this interesting conversation!
Show Highlights:
The basics: What is ADHD?
Why reframing is helpful for adults diagnosed with ADHD
Why many of us do self-diagnosis, especially in today’s social media-driven world
Factors that can cause a child to fly under the radar and go undiagnosed
Why ADHD can be described as “an interest-based nervous system”
How most people with ADHD have an “I’m dumb” moment because of how their brains process information and overlook details
Why ADHD diagnosis is overlooked in so many people because of the ways they learn to compensate for symptoms
Why people with ADHD mask their internal symptoms by learning to respond to their external environment
Dr. Sasha’s advice about educating yourself and learning more about ADHD
How to decide whether or not to take ADHD medication as an adult
Dr. Sasha’s advice about noticing red flags in dealing with your healthcare provider
Resources:
Connect with Dr. Sasha: TikTok, YouTube, Instagram, Book, Self-Care for People with ADHD, and the Focus Genie App
Connect with KC: TikTok, Instagram, and Website
Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning
We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
30: Fat Talk with Virginia Sole-Smith
Episode 30
Monday, April 24, 2023 • Duration 38:15
Do you agree that we live in a world that equates body size with a person’s value? What is our society teaching our kids about fat, body size, and a person’s worth? If you experienced body-size shaming as you grew up, don’t you want to do a better job with your children? Parenting around these topics is not easy, and my guest today wrote a book to help us understand more. I’m excited for this conversation with Virginia Sole-Smith, author of Fat Talk: Parenting in the Age of Diet Culture and host of the Burnt Toast podcast. Join us to learn more!
Show Highlights:
Why parents struggle with fears and concerns around their kids’ body sizes
Why the goal is to have kids who don’t feel anxious about their relationship with food
Why we need to think about health as MUCH more than a number on the scale
Why, to embrace body diversity, we need to challenge what we’ve been trained to think about health, beauty, and morality
How weight distribution matches up with “thin privilege” and anti-fat bias
How focusing too closely on our personal weight struggles causes us to reinforce and perpetuate fat bias in the world
How our children receive messaging around body types and sizes from healthcare providers, sports coaches, etc.
How to have healthy conversations with kids about bodies, fat, diets, etc.
Why parents need to give counter programming to the default settings our kids receive from society about topics such as body shaming and racism
Why Virginia included in her book a chapter called “Straight White Dads on Diets”
Resources:
Connect with Virginia Sole-Smith: Website, Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, Burnt Toast podcast, and Fat Talk book
Connect with KC: TikTok, Instagram, and Website
Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning
We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
29: How to Get Dope Therapy with Shani Tran
Episode 29
Monday, April 17, 2023 • Duration 49:47
Getting therapy and finding the right therapist is super intimidating! Most people aren’t even sure how to begin the process. Besides the fear and stigma associated with seeking help for mental health, therapy can be scary when you don’t know what to expect. One of my friends from TikTok has written a book with tons of practical information and advice about the basics of therapy. Join us to learn more!
Shani Tran is a licensed therapist in Minnesota and Arizona. She wrote the book, Dope Therapy: A Radical Guide to Owning Your Therapy, to validate the anxiety that can arise around seeking counseling. Through her book, she offers guidance for navigating the uncomfortable conversations that can come up in therapy. In her professional work and on TikTok, Shani focuses on education around cultural humility and helping people of color, who have historically been underserved by the mental health community.
Show Highlights:
Why Shani wanted to write her book to make the therapy process less intimidating
How Shani’s book breaks down the therapy process, including all the financial information that people need to know
Why it is important to be direct in your questions to a therapist
How to reframe your thinking around, “Therapy didn’t work for me.”
Why it’s OK to tell your therapist how you really feel (they WANT you to advocate for yourself!)
Shani’s advice about firing a therapist (Hint: Ghosting them is OK!)
Why the therapy room is a great place to practice new communication skills in a safe place
Why your relationship with your therapist is different from every other human relationship
How teletherapy brings new elements to the therapy process to improve accessibility
Why Shani wants to be noticed for her diverse skills as a clinician and not just her work with the BIPOC community
The difference in cultural competency and cultural humility
Resources:
We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes
Connect with Shani: Dope Therapy book (also available at other booksellers), TikTok, and Instagram
Mentioned by Shani: The Gift of Therapy by Irvin D. Yalom
Connect with KC: TikTok, Instagram, and Website
Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
28: The Magic of the Wash & Set with Heidi Smith, LPCS
Episode 28
Monday, April 10, 2023 • Duration 17:44
Small things can make all the difference, and each person gets to decide for themselves what those little steps are that uplift our spirits and lighten our load. These little things are NOT the same for everyone! A simple thing, like having her hair washed and styled twice weekly, helps energize today’s guest and makes her feel that she can take on the world–and she doesn’t need to make excuses for it. Join us to hear my conversation with Heidi Smith.
Show Highlights:
How Heidi decided that having someone “do her hair” twice each week is a BIG deal for her mental health
Why we have to decide for ourselves how to spend our emotional energy, which is in limited supply
Why it is ridiculous that women put so much pressure on themselves to be presentable because of external motivation
Why our self-care routines should serve us and have a place in our functionality
How parenting responsibilities evolved for Heidi to finally allow her to take time for yourself
Why the best advice around self-care tasks is to find what works best for YOU
Resources:
Connect with KC: TikTok, Instagram, and Website
Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
27: The Sex Ed You Should Have Gotten with Rachel Coler Mulholland
Episode 27
Monday, April 3, 2023 • Duration 42:44
Today, we are covering an important topic today, but maybe not in the way you expect. I’m joined by Rachel Mulholland (aka Shug CM), a therapist whom I met on TikTok because of her incredible content around sex education for children. Today’s focus is on how our lives as adults are impacted if we don’t get comprehensive sex education as children. Join us for the conversation!
Show Highlights:
How KC’s story from her teenage years illustrates the gaps that most people have in their education about sex and the fact that sex ed is NOT a one-time conversation
How “purity culture” is impacting teenagers in certain places in the US in damaging ways
How even most comprehensive sex ed doesn’t address the pleasurable side of sex–and (for females) that the pleasure doesn’t have to come from another person
How sexual predators take advantage of the lack of information in sex ed from SAFE places
Why parents have real fear about talking to their kids about sex ed
The effects of NOT educating kids that sex and pleasure don’t always go together
Rachel’s Four Pillars of Safe Sex: confirmation, communication, lubrication, and enthusiastic participation
Why parents should be aware when their kids are ready to hear and learn–and begin at the most basic level appropriate for their age
How to answer those first little-kid questions around, “Where do babies come from?”
Why curiosity is a foundational part of body talk for kids–not just around sexuality
How parents can work through their own feelings around sex ed with their children
Why Rachel’s next project is a book about body talk
Resources:
Connect with Rachel: TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, and Website (coming soon!)
Recommended by Rachel: How Do You Make A Baby by Anna Fiske
Connect with KC: TikTok, Instagram, and Website
Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
26: How to Find a Good Therapist
Episode 26
Monday, March 27, 2023 • Duration 26:21
If you’ve thought about finding a counselor or therapist, you know it can seem overwhelming. Remember that those first few sessions are essentially a time for YOU to interview the therapist to see if there are good vibes and a good fit for you. Don’t be intimidated by the process! I’m breaking it down with tips and advice about finding the right therapist for you. Join me for this episode!
Show Highlights:
The basics: What is the difference between therapy and counseling?
A breakdown of different providers and what they do: psychiatrist, psychologist, therapists, and counselors
How to find a provider–with and without insurance (Visit my Shop at www.strugglecare.com to download my FREE pdf file, Finding a Therapist.)
How to contact a provider when you’ve chosen one and what to say (Hint: It matters whether your private insurance is a PPO or HMO.)
What to ask during the first phone call about scheduling constraints, experience with your specific issue, typical sessions, etc.
Why it is OK to go into the first session with questions of your own
What you should communicate to the provider during the first session
How to ask the provider about their supervision, cancellation policies, emergencies sessions or phone calls
How to tell the provider that they aren’t a good fit for you
Probing questions you can ask to determine any biases/prejudices your provider might have around religion, spirituality, interventions, faith, LGBTQ people, gender identity, sexuality, psychiatric medications
How to figure out the therapist qualities that matter most to you
Safety resources in the US (See Resources below for details.)
Resources:
If you are in a domestic violence situation and need safety now, call the 24-hour hotline 1-800-799-7233.
If you are under 18 and need help, safety, counseling, or services, text “Safe” with your address, city, and state to 44357.
The Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network (RAINN) is America’s largest anti-sexual violence organization. If you’ve been assaulted and need help, call their hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE.
Lifeline Suicide Help can be reached at 1-800-273-8255. They provide 24-hour free and confidential support to people in distress who need crisis resources.
The Trevor Project is a chat, text, and phone support line for LGBTQ youth in crisis. They provide peer programs and resources. Reach them at www.thetrevorproject.com.
NEXT Distro is an online and email-based harm reduction service designed to reduce the opioid overdose death rate, prevent injection-related disease transmission, and improve the lives of those who use drugs. Find them at www.nextdistro.org.
Never Use Alone can be reached if you choose to use drugs alone. Their operator will stay on the line with you while you use and notify emergency services if you stop responding. Find them at www.neverusealone.com and 800-484-3731.
Connect with KC:
Connect with KC: TikTok, Instagram, and Website (Find the FREE pdf, Finding a Good Therapist, under the “Shop” tab.)
Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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