What's Soft Cock Appreciation Week you say? Who's Erica Leroye you ask? Well, just another beautiful sexual wellness soul out here trying to heal the world who I get to introduce you to thanks to Michelle Renee!

Loving the podcast? Don't forget to follow and share!

Erica Leroye, M.Ed (she/her/they) is the Founder and "Chief Erotic Officer" of Creative Body Release (CBR), a philosophy and methodology that is built upon 30+ years of body/mind training and educational expertise. Erica is an advocate, guide, practitioner, lover, mother, and friend as well as a Certified Family Life Educator, Certified Sexological Bodyworker, Human Development Specialist, Healing Arts professional, Erotic Artist/Educator and the new Hostess of Soft Cock Appreciation Week.  Her life's mission pivoted from equity in education systems to equity in health care after the sudden death of her fiancee to undiagnosed diabetes in which sexual function was ” the hidden tell”. Her work since 2012 has been focused on De-Mystifying the International Erectile Epidemic using research-based best practices from multiple disciplines, common sense, and a knowing splash of women's intuition.

Links for Soft Cock Weekhttps://softcockweek.com/
https://bio.site/scweek (this one has all the links for people to take part easily organized together)
Link for me:https://www.flowcode.com/page/creativebodyrelease.com

Please allow me to introduce Sherri and Reuben Johnson, AKA, FlyDuo. I got to meet them at the Sexology Summit in 2022 and I was smitten! They not only run these amazing businesses supporting sex professionals, but they also have an incredible story of strength in escaping the religious cult they grew up in. This matters now more than ever as Christian Nationalists attempt to destroy our democracy. Plus you know I'm a sucker for a love story that leads to sex positivity.

Don't forget to follow the podcast on Spotify.

Want more information on how to work with or get to know Sherri and Reuben Johnson, please visit:

https://flymediaproductions.com/

OR

https://sextechnchill.com/

Follow them on social media @xoflyduo

Brandon and I met through the Sexual Health Alliance (SHA) where I did my training as a Sex Coach and he did his as an educator. He was already a clinical social worker then. When we recorded this episode, I was looking for an expert for women who feared dating online because of the men they might meet and Brandon delivered! So, I hope you will tune in and listen because some of my most profound realizations of the year were made in this conversation. Shout out to Mat Leffler-Shulman for rescuing this episode when my naivete as a new podcaster almost lost it for eternity thanks to an echo over everything Brandon said. My audio may be choppy, but you will hear Brandon clear as a bell! Huzzah!

If you are interested in working with Brandon, here is his information: Brandon Hunter-Haydon, MSW, CSEIntern member of IPSA, Apprentice Surrogate of SPC, Certified Sexuality Educator, ECC Certified Providerhe/him; they/themwww.ampersandintimacy.com For more information on quality surrogate partner therapy, Brandon would also like you to have access to the links below:

https://www.embracespt.org/

https://www.surrogatepartnercollective.org/

Looking to start a career in sexology? Vist SHA at:

https://sexualhealthalliance.com/

Don't forget to follow the podcast and tell your friends about all the cool shit you're learning here at Story Time, where we say "Fuck No to the Status Quo!"

Fangirling like a mofo here!!! Please meet Luna Matatas! She talks life experience, being a public health professional, a pleasure educator, and an entrepreneur with such kindness, vivaciousness, and character. You don't wanna miss a minute of Luna.

Luna Matatas is a Sex and Pleasure Educator with over 20 years of experience teaching sex and empowerment workshops. She celebrates body confidence, self-adoration and building shame-free pleasure in and out of the bedroom. She teaches 30+ sexy skills topics; including threesomes, BDSM and sexual confidence. She created Peg the Patriarchy® and Meditate Medicate Masturbate® brands as part of her sex-positive and feminist merchandise.

Learn more about her work, sign up for her newsletter, and pick up some cool ass merch at: https://lunamatatas.com/en-us

Digging the podcast? Tell a friend. Follow. Share episodes. All of these actions go a long way to keep the pod coming.

Got questions about intimate relationships? Need someone to help you with shopping for fun goodies or just someone to talk to about your desires, reach out at theintimacyally@gmail.com.

Julia Jewels is just as comfy in a dungeon as she is on a podcast. Seriously though, I had the honor of getting to meet this fresh face on the BDSM scene through SHA Business School (visit www.sexualhealthalliance.com to learn more) and I have been digging her vibe and work ever since. She has such a gentle but firm way of looking at sex and introducing people to kink! Want to work with Julia or learn more about her work? IG: https://www.instagram.com/eros_for_everybody?igsh=YTQwZjQ0NmI0OA%3D%3D&utm_source=qr X:  https://x.com/erosforevrybody YouTube: https://youtube.com/@julia.erosforeverybody?feature=shared Don't forget to follow the podcast and find me on socials @theintimacyally so you don't miss a juicy damn thing!

So many of us cannot let go and allow for pleasure to happen. Goddess Eros is trained in BDSM and Shibari-an ancient art of rope bondage. She discusses how she got into this work and her passion for teaching others to surrender to pleasure.

Be sure to follow Goddess Eros on Instagram @peopleoferos

Check out her website, www.peopleoferos.com for most current offerings.

Enjoy, my lovelies!

And remember, "Say Fuck No to the Status Quo!" this week.

Meet Julia Satterlee! She has been teaching others about sex since she was a mere teenager and after working in public health, she found her stride in clinical sexology! She has the kind of persona that makes you ready and willing to open up and accept that pleasure is absolutely a right and that we can totally unlearn the bullshit we were taught by society and give a big ole YES to pleasure!

To sign up to Julia's email list: tinyurl.com/pleasurewise

Link to her course. DOORS CLOSE JULY 15TH, 2024!

https://pleasure-wise.com/the-pleasure-path/

Julia's Website: https://pleasure-wise.com/

IG: https://www.instagram.com/pleasure.wise?igsh=MXEyM3pwcG0zMHo0Zw%3D%3D&utm_source=qr

FB: 

Link to her course, on sale now, doors close July 15

https://www.facebook.com/sexistentialcoach/

Erin MacKenzie, The Relationship Rebel, discusses her passion to help people live their most authentic lives, and opens up about her own journey exploring polyamory as a mom in Canada. She talks about how coming out at 40 and being a massage therapist also played into her journey to become a certified s//x coach through the S//xual Health Alliance (SHA) program...just like yours truly! To connect with Erin, you can find her and DM her on Instagram @therelationshiprebel Looking to become a Sxual Wellness Professional? Go to www.sexualhealthalliance.com and find your path!

Courtney Brame, of Something Positive for Positive People just won't stop creating some really cool shit, so I had to interview him before this event goes live on June 30th! After having the Herpes Stigma Virtual Conference, he has now created a Men's Emotional Wellness Symposium and that is happening 11am to 5pm EST Sunday, June 30th.

Tickets are available at www.spfpp.org/events and you can follow Courtney's evolving project @getselfed

The speakers are:

Jeremy Herte, the host of "Let's Talk Bruh" podcast

Teddy Williams, comedian and men's mental health advocate

Dox Diggla, life and relationship coach and meditation guru

Cam Fraser, a certified s//x coach (like yours truly, but for dudes) and a certified sexologist

Courtney Brame, Yoga practitioner and facilitator of emotionally challenging conversations.

Continuing to queerly say Fuck No to the Status Quo this month, we are joined by Mistress Cas AKA Casandra Rines for today's episode.

Mistress Cas is an intersectional scientist-practitioner, educator, love/pleasure guide and mental health clinician who lives with her partners and dogs in San Antonio, Texas. She started her career as a public health scientist and is now a mental health professional and certified sex therapist dedicated to helping people understand themselves and others. She is also a fat, disabled, mixed-race, crazy, Queer Leathermaster who has been active in kink and polyamory her whole life. She offers various training and workshops on mental health, relationship health, consent, and sexual wellness. She offers mental health counseling/sex therapy via her maiden name at Respark Therapy.  To learn more or work with her, please check out:

https://texassexmissionaries.my.canva.site/boldhearts-education

OR

https://linktr.ee/boldlycasandra

This one is a super duper quickie! I apologize for not getting it out on the 15th, but hey, I was away on my honeymoon, and shocked and amazed I got the regular episode out the night before. Huzzah!

We continue exploring our kinks, fetishes, and accessories with:

G is for Gagging

H is for Harnesses

I is for Intimacy!!! Cuz I'm the motherfucking Intimacy Ally baby!

If you have any requests for these, send your girl an email at theintimacyally@gmail.com. I love being able to use audience requests!

Enjoy my lovelies!

Hello My Lovelies! Happy Pride Month! Today, my guest, Christi Stafford, creator of Automation on a Mission, and I talk about online dating, the differences of straight vs gay online dating, living in a bus, working 24/7 with your partner, being an entrepreneur, and we still were not done by the end of it! Christi Stafford is wildly engaging and I hope you enjoy this conversation as much as I did.

If you are a woman-identifying entrepreneur, I highly recommend checking out her work, and signing up for a consult call at https://automationonamission.com/

Hello My Lovelies!!! If you don't follow me on Facebook, then you may not have heard that we are switching to every other Friday for releasing podcast episodes for the forseeable future. I had to take a page outta my own book and take care of me while I go back to school. Never fear, we've got a wonderful episode for ya and the sex pros and intimacy doers of the world will come atcha still...just a little less frequently. Don't forget to follow the podcast on Spotify to never miss an episode!

Today's episode I introduce you to Nikita Fernandes, also known as Goddess Nix, who shares her journey of self-discovery and healing as a therapist and member of the kink community. Growing up in a patriarchal culture in India, Nikita felt the erasure of women's sexuality and turned to reading smut in secret. She knew from a young age that she wanted to be a therapist and eventually found her passion for sex therapy and serving marginalized communities. Nikita discusses the importance of visibility and understanding in healthcare and how she found community and embraced her body through the kink scene. She also highlights the impact of media, particularly porn, on body image and sexual expectations. Nikita Fernandes discusses non-monogamy, kink, and navigating the stigma around HSV.

Nikita's Bio:

My bio -Nikita Fernandes is a sex therapist and psychotherapist located in New York City. She lives at the intersections of various identities such as being south asian, queer, neurodivergent and HSV 1 positive. Nikita navigates the sex positive scene as a sexual health educator as well as a fellow human being. Her work lies in empowering people with marginalised identities to cultivate mindful relationships with their sexuality. Nikita also volunteers with Open Social, a non-monogamous non profile organisation where she does wellness programming. If you are interested in working with Nikita, please visit:

https://healingwithnikita.com/

OR

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/nikita-fernandes-sex-therapist-and-psychotherapist-new-york-ny/1031393

Happy Pride, my lovelies! It has come to my attention that I have not had enough of my LGBTQIA+ family on here. Changing that this month and it will continue in the months to come. For once, I actually do not have to put the 18+ warning on an episode! This is actually a shout out for trans youth and trans rights. I have had the pleasure of attending talks by Ley David Elliette Cray, PhD (she/they) through my training with the Sexual Health Alliance (SHA). Ley takes the time to lovingly answer questions that have baffled me working with people but also, from just interacting with people, and society at large. Ley opens up about the impact of not only family of origin interactions, how issues that trans people face are important whether cisgender people understand it or not, that trans people or anyone who is not a straight cisgender person doesn't owe anyone a coming out, and much more. I remain amazed by her expertise, willingness to answer any question I could throw at her, and above all, her kindness.

Ley's Information:

Ley David Elliette Cray, PhD (she/they) is a sexologist, author, coach, consultant, and educator specializing in gender, sexuality, and relationship diversity in a neuro-inclusive framework. She is the founder of Transentience Coaching, through which she assists clients as they navigate issues of identity, authenticity, community, and meaning. Additionally, she is Dialectical Programming Coordinator at Growth Thru Change, co-facilitator (along with Midori) of the Sexual Health Alliance's Kink-Informed Certification Program, and frequent collaborator of virtual gender-affirming care clinic Plume as well as the social app Plura. She teaches philosophy at New Mexico State University and is currently working on her second book, Painful Games: BDSM, Identity, and the Aesthetics of Gameplay.
(Pronunciation-wise: "Ley" = "Lee," "Elliette" = "Elliot")
And some links:
Website: http://www.transentiencecoaching.com
Instagram: @transentience.coaching
As always, if you have questions, please don't hesitate to email me at theintimacyally@gmail.com or stop by the website www.theintimacyally.com and subscribe to get a free intimacy quiz or self-love guide.

Follow the podcast so you never miss an episode and follow me on socials @theintimacyally for updates!

Meet Kendra Holliday, a sex consultant, surrogate partner, and a sex worker. She has a fresh outlook on how healing men can butterfly effect out to increase the dating, romantic relationship, and sex lives of men and the women who are looking for them. She is a founding member of Sex Positive St. Louis, a wealth of knowledge on how humans interact intimately, and a person who you can just see connected to the world around her. Tuck in, my lovelies. This is an episode you don't want to miss.

Have questions or want to suggest a topic for Story Time or Kinksplain NOT Kink Shame? Email me at theintimacyally@gmail.com. Follow the podcast and subscribe to my newsletter at www.theintimacyally.com to never miss a new workshop or gathering.

To work with Kendra, you can visit:

https://www.beopenandhonest.com/

To read and connect with Kendra, visit:

https://www.thebeautifulkind.com/

For more information on Sex Positive St. Louis, visit:

https://sexstl.com/about/

Happy Masturbation Month my lovelies! You are in for a treat! Meet Amy Weissfeld, founder of Joyful Self Love! Oh I do hope you enjoy this one my lovelies! If you are digging the podcast, please follow and tell a friend!

Be sure to check out her website,

http://www.joyfulselflove.com/

This is a great time to give yourself or someone you love the gift of a Workshop & Retreat with Somatic Sex Educator & Orgasm Coach, Amy Weissfeld. In person outside Portland, OR at the Dayenu Wind Mountain Retreat Center! 
1:1 Coaching via Zoom and FT, as well as in-person, is also available. Be your best sexual self! All bodies, genders and orientations are welcome in this judgment free, sex positive, sacred healing space. https://www.joyfulselflove.com/coaching 
Bodysex: May, August & October, is a powerful and transformative workshop created by famed sexologist Betty Dodson, and facilitated in a lovely retreat setting by certified Somatic Sex Educator and coach, Amy Weissfeld. Love Your Body. Liberate Yourself. Experience Joy in Sisterhood. For anyone who identifies as a woman. 

Together we explore sexuality, orgasm, masturbation, body image and pleasure. The power of the circle and the Bodysex workshop will forever change you. Come discover your best sexual self! Featured on Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop Labs, episode 3, The Pleasure is Ours, this retreat often sells out. Sign up today, you'll be so glad you did! Loads of testimonials, more information and the sign up are here:  http://www.joyfulselflove.com/bodysex-workshop 

“Bodysex has given me the permission to realize and celebrate my own sexual power as something sacred.”  
Dive Deep into Joyful Connection: Unlock the Power of The Wheel of Consent Retreat. 
Are you ready to revolutionize your relationships and embrace a newfound sense of connection and joy? Join us for an immersive three-day journey into The Wheel of Consent Retreat, this June & October in the breathtaking Columbia River Gorge, outside Portland, OR.
Experience the profound impact of this powerful embodiment workshop, designed to elevate the quality of your interactions and awaken a sense of vitality and fulfillment in your life. The Wheel of Consent offers a transformative framework for understanding and navigating relationships, both with ourselves and with others. Through deep attunement to your own desires and boundaries, you'll learn to navigate interactions with clarity and grace, fostering a sense of safety and empowerment in your connections. As you embrace this liberating approach, you'll unlock the floodgates to a wealth of pleasure, gratitude, playfulness, intimacy, and confidence.
Trusted by thousands and practiced worldwide, The Wheel of Consent is more than just a workshop—it's a catalyst for profound personal growth and relational harmony. Don't miss this opportunity to embark on a journey of self-discovery and joyful connection. Spaces are limited, so reserve your spot today! https://www.joyfulselflove.com/in-person-wheel-of-consent
“I’ve learned the language of relationship in lots of different ways, but this was more like learning the notes or the letters I didn’t know I was missing! A few big AHAs for me for sure.”

Amy's Bio:

As a certified Somatic Sex Educator, Sexological Bodyworker & Orgasm Coach, Amy provides a compassionate, body‐based approach to sexual health and wellness ‐ a sort of sex therapy for the body. She is deeply passionate about healing the world through pleasure, about truth in relating, about choice and voice, about empowerment and about joyful living.She is also a School of Consent Teacher, a Betty Dodson Bodysex Facilitator, Mother, Advocate and Fierce Friend. Pronouns: she/her.Her life’s purpose is to empower people to live fully and joyfully in our bodies; to see and believe in our own beauty. Because knowing yourself and your own body makes you happy and whole. It also makes for better community and a healthier planet.

www.JoyfulSelfLove.com

Hello my lovelies! Meet Courtney Brame! He is the creator of Something Positive for Positive People. I think it is an incredibly noble and creative solution to the herpes stigma many people are dealing with out here in the world. He has a virtual conference happening on Thursday, May 23, 2024 and so I had to get on it to get this episode out! I hope you will appreciate his candor, his wealth of information, and his inspiring message as much as I do. Here are some helpful links to reach Courtney, explore his non-profit, or to learn more about Herpes stigma and how to find community or help.

FOR TICKETS TO THE VIRTUAL CONFERENCE HAPPENING THURSDAY, MAY 23 11AM TO 5PM

www.spfpp.org/conferences

To sign up for Courtney's newsletter, get information on upcoming events, get a membership, or donate to the cause visit:

www.spfpp.org

To view survey info from 2021, visit:

www.spfpp.org/data

Follow Courtney on Instagram:

@CourtneyBrame_

As always, any questions, shoot me an email at theintimacyally@gmail.com

Pleasure Empowerment Sex Coach Shannon joins me to talk about loving yourself, giving yourself the freedom to explore, and allowing for the infinite options to attain pleasure.

Shannon Burton is a sex coach out of New Orleans. She is certified by the Sexological institute. She enjoys going on journeys of self-pleasure with those she works with and geeks out on learning about people's fantasies and desires. Her insight is phenomenal and her ideas are exciting and original. Sooooo pressed for this episode my lovelies!

If you would like to get on the waitlist for her group coaching program, Come Like a Queen, please use the link below to get a 15% discount!

https://school.sexcoachshannon.com/come-like-a-queen?coupon=INTIMACY15

For inquiries on working with her directly, you can email her at hello@sexcoachshannon.com

Visit her website for FREE resources at: https://sexcoachshannon.com/resources/

Her website is: https://sexcoachshannon.com/

As always, questions, concerns, ideas for Kinksplain or other episodes, shoot 'em my way at theintimacyally@gmail.com or send a message at www.theintimacyally.com.

Get ready to giggle as I say Suessical Joyney...instead of Journey. Woops. Today we explore letters D, E, and F.

D is for Damsel in Distress Kink

E is for Exhibitionist Kink

F is for Flogging Fetish

As promised, here are a couple links I referenced and look up Flogging Molly ffs!

https://www.verywellmind.com/exhibitionism-8406423

https://xtramagazine.com/love-sex/flogging-101-49845

Message me at theintimacyally@gmail.com with questions or suggestions for kinks to cover. Subscribe at www.theintiamcyally.com to never miss a happening and don't forget to follow the podcast if you haven't yet.

My guest, Christina Ioannides is a 6-time World Karate Fighting Champion, a breast cancer survivor, and the creator of the empowerment brand, Fabulous & FearLESS! She is living proof of the power of resilience, spirituality, and preparation. She also speaks on the balance between achieving your dream goals while maintaining a corporate world job. This is one episode you will want to look up on YouTube so you can see the things she demonstrates for self-defense. My lovelies, she wants you all to feel safe, strong, confident, and TAKE UP ROOM!!! Links to work with Christina below. Enjoy my lovelies!

christina@fabulousfearless.com
https://www.fabulousfearless.com/https://www.linkedin.com/in/christina-ioannides/
https://www.instagram.com/fabulous.fearless/
https://www.facebook.com/FabulousandFearLESShttps://www.youtube.com/@fabulousfearless
As usual, if you have any questions, comments, or would like to subscribe, please visit my website at www.theintimacyally.com. You get a fun freebie when you do.

Want to learn about the chakras and how they can affect your sex life and love life? Look no further. Yvette LeFlore of Healing with Yvette takes us through the chakras, crystals, her own online dating story, and how healing comes most from the work from within. She's one of my favorite people and I've been lucky enough to have healing sessions and learn rituals from her! She is a reiki master and teacher, a healer, and a hoot and a half! Such a fun episode.

As usual, feel free to reach out with questions at theintimacyally@gmail.com and you can subscribe to get your freebies at www.theintimacyally.com. Don't forget to follow @theintimacyally on socials and follow the pod!

To work with Yvette you can find her on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/healingwithyvette or you can head to her website at https://www.healingwithyvette.com/

Click below for a freebie from Ms. Yvette!

https://www.healingwithyvette.com/diy-chakra-support/?fbclid=IwZXh0bgNhZW0CMTAAAR0vUK8c7s6rCVQdVDWzkh4fexkoC7i4GAGF4vVOkTpELN0vmCZhEHTV8RE_aem_ARAP7yTvxkUjP8-Xq3JTL6Hy8p3ZGXVKCKMP1-te1JTXGRmZWIch7AoJY8rPqbOgCjF2Aeq6DvU0nfLipUZoEE8Q

It is time to explore some relationship style options and get to hear the ins and outs (oh you know that pun was fully intended) of being ethically non-monogamous. I'm so grateful to have had Tamara Pincus, Clinical Social Worker, to help walks us through some of the finer points of this subject. She not only works with kinky folks who may be exploring different relationship styles, she is also a practicing non-monoger herself. Hope you are as delighted with her wisdom, candor, and wonderful humor as I was. Links to her center and the books she mentioned below!

As usual, if you have any questions or would like to submit your kink question for Kinksplain NOT Kink Shame next month, submit a contact form at www.theintimacyally.com or you can email me at theintimacyally@gmail.com

https://tamarapincus.com/

https://thepincuscenter.teachable.com/p/mono-poly-coaching-support-group

https://elisabethsheff.com/books/

Welcome to the first episode of Kinksplain NOT Kink Shame, my bonus episodes. Like Dr. Seuss...but about kinks. Ah really it's like it just because A is for Aquaphilia, B is for Breeding, and C is for Cuckolding. These are the 3 kinks we explore in this first episode.

As usual, if you have any questions, or if you think of a kink you would like me to cover, feel free to shoot me a message at theintimacyally@gmail.com or fill out a contact form at www.theintimacyally.com

As mentioned, here's the story quoting Dr. Lee Phillips:

https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a60430974/what-is-breeding-kink/

Dr. Justin Lehmiller has an amazing podcast called Sex & Psychology you should check out. You can find his book, Tell Me What You Want, here:

https://www.amazon.com/Tell-Me-What-You-Want-ebook/dp/B0776PYDNM

And last, but certainly not least, here is the link to Dr. David Ley's book, Insatiable Wives: Women Who Stray and the Men Who Love Them:

https://www.amazon.com/Insatiable-Wives-Women-Stray-Love/dp/1442200316

If you've been listening at all, you know I love me some Dr. Ley and the Sexual Health Alliance for introducing me to many of my sexuality heroes and letting me know that learning and teaching about kink is not only acceptable, but necessary. Check them out at:

https://sexualhealthalliance.com/

Who's ready for some Herpes Real Talk? Well, you came to the right episode! Meet Jolene Hernandez, producer of the documentary No Shame in This Game. Jolene is not only approaching HSV and STI education head on, she is also co-presenting the Safe Sex Expo on September 29th in NYC with Courtney Brame of Something Positive for Positive Poeple. Please check out the links below to learn more about Jolene and the upcoming projects and how to support the documentary. Enjoy my lovelies!!

Follow Jolene on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/noshameinthisgamefilm/

Learn more about the documentary at:

https://www.noshameinthisgame.com/

For tickets or information on the Safe Sex Expo, go to:

 https://spfpp.org/events/safe-sex-expo

If you want to donate toward the documentary, please visit:  https://gofund.me/be92931a Don't forget to follow the podcast on Spotify to keep these episodes coming!

Apologies Abound. First for being MIA. Second for the shitty sound. Not really sure what went wrong here, but it is better after 3 and a half minutes. Some great nuggets here about how magic and weilding it has played a part in my growth and good fortune in finding a partner over the last couple years. I go into detail about my marriage ending, my moon ritual and how I manifested Zach. Results will absolutely vary, but I wanted to share what helped guide me to manifest my man.

Also, there's an announcement about Kinksplain not Kinkshame episodes starting this weekend. I'd better head down to the hovel and figure out wtf is wrong with my mic!

As usual, I'm open for questions. Submit a contact form or sign up for updates at www.theintimacyally.com or you can follow me @theintimacyally on IG for all the fun.

Soooo, why do dudes hate boundaries? Well, we're gonna talk a lil about that but we're also gonna discuss why we're not so great at upholding them. Then I'm gonna give ya a few tips on how to strengthen them. Sound good? Cool.

Until Next Time, My Lovelies, Remember:

Say Fuck No to the Status Quo!

As mentioned, here are some sites to look into if you're looking to get some more training in this area:

https://www.schoolofconsent.org/

https://www.meetmichellerenee.com/

In this episode, Jeni Simas discusses stress management for women. She shares her personal experience with stress and the challenges of balancing multiple responsibilities. Jeni explores common myths about stress and provides her own perspective on the topic. She also highlights the symptoms of stress in women and offers various stress management strategies. Jeni reveals her secret to not letting stress get the best of her and emphasizes the importance of orgasms for stress relief. She addresses the pleasure gap and the benefits of orgasms for women's health. Jeni challenges the guilt associated with stress and encourages women to prioritize self-care, particularly through masturbation.Takeaways

• Stress is not solely determined by external circumstances but also by our thoughts and emotions.
• Stress can have physical, emotional, mental, occupational, social, and spiritual symptoms.
• Effective stress management strategies include guided imagery, meditation, deep breathing, exercise, and social support.
• Orgasms can provide powerful stress relief and have numerous health benefits for women.
• Women should prioritize self-care and not feel guilty about taking time for themselves.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Personal Stress

02:28 Myths About Stress

06:22 Women and Stress Symptoms

07:20 Stress Management Strategies

11:16 The Secret to Managing Stress

14:16 The Pleasure Gap and Orgasm Stress Relief

21:49 Guilt and Stress in Women

22:57Masturbation as Stress Relief

Visit www.theintimacyally.com and subscribe to get your free self-love guide.

Sign-up for Making Online Dating Magical Group starting 4-8-2024! Just click the link below!

https://subscribepage.io/aHVf1S

Links:

https://www.ebooks.com/en-us/book/2662141/becoming-cliterate/laurie-mintz/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-myth-stress/201005/8-deadly-myths-about-stress

https://www.self.com/story/5-explosive-facts-about-the-female-orgasm

https://www.verywellmind.com/tips-to-reduce-stress-3145195

It's Episode 25 My Lovelies!!! So much happening in here.

Today we dive into this myth that somehow "ugly" girls deserve scraps and crumbs and should just take what they can get when it comes to romantic relationships. I used to buy in HARD on this line of patriarchal bullshit.

I start off the episode with news about me winning a Pitch-off with the Sexual Health Alliance (SHA) which included a panel of my Sexual Professionals World heroes, Dr. David Ley, Dr. Chris Donaghue, and Jetsetting Jasmine! Y'all I about died! And I won for my upcoming Group Coaching Program, "Making Online Dating Magical" so check that link out and secure your spot honey lambs! If you would like more info about any of these stars, please shoot me a message! Also the book I mentioned is "The Body is Not an Apology" by Sonya Renee Taylor. I highly recommend you check it out if you are suffering from feeling like your body makes you unworthy of love and attention. I round out the episode by revealing my tagline!!! Finally!!! Took some soul searching but I have found it.

Summary

In this episode, Jeni Simas discusses the topic of fixing others in relationships. She shares her personal experiences and how it relates to the TV show Parks and Recreation. Jeni explores the cultural influence on the idea of fixing others, highlighting the gendered expectations placed on women. She also discusses the impact of family dynamics and the relationship with parents on this behavior. Low self-esteem and fear of intimacy are identified as factors that contribute to the desire to fix others. Jeni emphasizes the importance of finding a good partner who complements you rather than a project. She concludes by announcing a group coaching program.

Takeaways

Cultural norms and gendered expectations contribute to the belief that women should fix others in relationships.

Family dynamics and the relationship with parents can influence the desire to fix others.

Low self-esteem can lead to seeking out projects in relationships.

Fear of intimacy can manifest as a desire to fix others.

It is important to find a partner who complements you rather than trying to fix them.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Personal Experience

01:01 Cultural Influence on Fixing Others

04:21 Family Dynamics

05:38 Relationship with Parents

07:30 Low Self-Esteem

08:10 Fear of Intimacy

12:32 Emotionally Unavailable Partners

19:19 Fight Antiquated Social Norms

20:09 Group Coaching Program Announcement

20:59 Conclusion

Meh. I hates it. I'm going to sound like the absolute bitterest buddy in this episode, but hear me out. I just think it does more harm than good and the "story" behind it is actually quite gross. Capitalism has taken over Valentine's day for over a century. Let's spend our hard earned moola on something better and not be victims to the pressures this Hallmark holiday creates. Who's with me?

Dig what you're hearing? Gimme a like n follow and find me @theintimacyally on Instagram.

Are you re-entering the dating scene over 40 or have you been trying to online date as a mom and it just sucks? Never fear, The Intimacy Ally is here! Let me help you get the fun and magic spark back in your dating adventure. Find the link to sign up for my workshop in my linktree here:

https://linktr.ee/theintimacyally

Also, as promised here's the link to my favorite History YouTuber History Calling:

https://www.youtube.com/@HistoryCalling

Y'all, I hope you've missed me as much as I've missed sharing info with you! Life just crept up on me. I started an online grad school program and the final for my first class overlapped with some major mental health issues for a loved one and well, everything but the bare minimum came to a screeching halt.

Anywho, today I'm jabbering on about ways that sex can deteriorate in relationships and some ways to combat its demise.

If you like what ya hear, follow me on IG @theintimacyally. You can DM me there for info on my upcoming course for helping moms over 40 get back in the dating game.

STILL haven't come up with what I wanna say at the end of the episodes. If you have an idea, shoot me an email at theintimacyally@gmail.com.

Heeeyyyyy! The podcast is old enough to drink! LOL...so for episode 21, I present to you...how the 5 love languages are bullshit. I want you to wipe all of this Christian misogynistic rhetoric out of your head honey lamb! Credit where credit is due I have some links below to stories that inspired this episode and also, I made a whoopsie about Scary Mommy...don't hate me cuz I still love Scary Mommy! Enjoy my lovelies!

Oh, and if you wanna get on the waitlist for "Making Online Dating Magical" you can do that on the page for the class on my website www.theintimacyally.com OR you can shoot me a DM on Instagram @theintimacyally OOORRRR you can send me an email at theintimacyally@gmail.com.

Now for those links to others!

https://www.scarymommy.com/creator-5-love-languages-homophobe

https://www.canculturemag.com/feature-1/2023/2/10/the-loveless-truth-behind-the-five-love-languages#:~:text=Gary%20Chapman%20published%20his%20book,the%20importance%20of%20love%20languages.

https://www.tiktok.com/@raquelmartinphd?lang=en

Summary

In this episode, Jeni Simas debunks the myth of soulmates and explores the harmful impact of this belief. She emphasizes the importance of finding soul connections beyond romantic relationships and challenges the scarcity mindset associated with soulmates. By letting go of the idea of soulmates, individuals can experience freedom and open themselves up to a wider pool of potential partners. Jeni also discusses the key factors that contribute to lasting and fulfilling relationships. Additionally, she announces the launch of the Making Online Dating Magical Mastermind.

Takeaways

Soulmates are a myth and a harmful belief that can negatively impact one's dating journey.

Finding soul connections can extend beyond romantic relationships and include meaningful connections with friends and family.

Letting go of the idea of soulmates allows individuals to explore a wider pool of potential partners and experience freedom in their dating journey.

The key factors that contribute to lasting and fulfilling relationships include intimate connection, honest communication, mutual respect, shared values, and similar life goals.

Chapters

00:00 The Myth of Soulmates

02:30 The Harmful Impact of Soulmates

05:03 Finding Soul Connections Beyond Romance

06:36 The Scarcity Mindset of Soulmates

08:06 The Freedom of Letting Go of Soulmates

10:03 What Makes a Relationship Lasting and Fulfilling

12:42 Announcement: Making Online Dating Magical Mastermind

Calling BS on how we all came up thinking that Al and Peg's interactions were okay and that if someone treated you like scum, you could and should stay. I think personally, they had a more lasting effect on me than ANY positive role model. I still see it in so many relationships and interactions. So, here goes. Let's blow this one out of the water. Married with Children done f*cked a lot of our heads.

Dakota Ramppen is a Sex Educator, an Educator, and (my fave of her titles) a Tough Love Relationship Coach. That's not all she is though! Her story of how she came to this work is rich with life lessons, empowerment, taking charge, and of course lessons about sex. Dakota has also used the Stars talk model created by Dr. Evelin Dacker to teach kids how to start talking about consent, relationships, and what they will want or not in the future. She is an educator at heart and one spicy, sexy lady!

She's running classes and will also be educating at the Safe Sex Expo happening in NYC presented by Something Positive for Postive People. Visit https://spfpp.org/events/safe-sex-expo for more information on that event!

DON’T MISS HER FREEBIE AT THE END!

Dakota Ramppen, founder of Get Real With Dakota, is a spicy sexuality educator, tough love relationship coach, massage candle maker, and sex toy seller based in New Jersey. Dakota’s work focuses on normalizing taboo topics with the help of tough love. Her all love, no bullshit approach makes manifesting and maintaining your #relationshipgoals a breeze whether that’s exploring a new kink, healing relationship trauma, developing more self confidence, or being a #happyhealthyhoe.

Book a coaching call: https://www.getrealwithdakota.com/contact

Attend an in person or virtual workshop: https://www.getrealwithdakota.com/events-workshops

Access my 'WTF Do You Value?" Freebie: https://www.getrealwithdakota.com/wtf-do-you-value

Don’t forget to Follow the podcast on Spotify if you want more episodes!

Do guys want a date or the info for a sex worker? Is there really a number of dates you are supposed to go on before you are "allowed" to have sex? Are you doomed to be coined a slut if you hit it on the first date or a prude if you haven't by the 10th? Auntie Jeni is here to tell you it is all bull and that as long is there is communication, consent, and risk awareness you should be good to go. Also, money and time spent should not force anyone to give in to someone else's sexpectations.

Like what you're hearing? Don't forget to Follow the podcast and follow me on Instagram @theintimacyally

Want to get on the waitlist for "Making Online Dating Magical"? Go to www.theintimacyally.com

Episode Summary

In this episode, Jeni Simas challenges the myth that no one wants to date women in their 40s with kids. She shares her personal experience of finding love online and emphasizes that age and parental status do not define a person's worth or desirability. Jeni encourages women to embrace their roles as mothers and individuals and confidently get on dating apps. She also promotes her Making Online Dating Magical course as a resource for guidance and support in navigating the online dating world.

Key Takeaways

Age and parental status do not determine a person's worth or desirability in the dating world.

Women in their 40s with kids can find love and have successful relationships through online dating.

Embrace your role as a mother and a person, and be proud of who you are.

Get on dating apps with confidence and showcase your unique qualities and interests.

Chapters

00:00 Apologizing for Life and Kids Getting in the Way

01:45 Challenging the Myth of Dating Women in Their 40s with Kids

03:08 Starting Online Dating at 40

04:27 Initial Experiences on Dating Apps

05:25 Overcoming Societal Myths and Insecurities

07:12 Considering Deleting the Dating App

08:17 Taking a Chance on a Younger Man

11:55 Finding Love as a Woman in Her 40s with Kids

13:19 Age and Parental Status Do Not Define Your Worth

15:41 Embracing Your Role as a Mother and a Person

16:46 Being Proud of Who You Are and Getting on Dating Apps

18:14 Promoting the Making Online Dating Magical Course

18:45 Apology and Closing Remarks

"Oh no, you must not give away your flower, I mean your virginity. You will just be an apple with a bunch of bites taken out of it. You'll be a chewed up piece of gum."

If this is some of the bullshit you grew up hearing concerning virginity, strap in for a ride through time finding out just WHY virginity seems to matter so much.

Join me and Adelina Adler (she/they) as we embark on a journey through time deciphering the meaning behind and the myths surrounding the notions of sacred virginity!

Interested in learning with me directly, email me at theintimacyally@gmail.com for upcoming events, you FREE self-love guide, and to get on the waitlist for the new course, "Making Online Dating Magical" coming in 2024!

To work with Adelina please email her at askaddyadler@gmail.com or visit her website at askaddyadler.wixsite.com/coaching and check out her podcast at https://open.spotify.com/show/3L86apSmWsG2KMNGCHz6WR?si=3f7a74472b264434

Be kind. Stay Curious. And try to never be the smartest person in the room.

Have you ever wondered what tantra is or how it could help you? In this episode, Tantrica Kira Leigh gives us insider tips on what tantric massage and this modality can do for you and your partner. Whether you are young or old, working with a penis or a vulva, or committed in a long-term relationship or learning about yourself, tantra can be an excellent tool to broaden your embodiment and pleasure.

Visit https://www.krystatantric.com/ for more information!

If you like what you're hearing, don't forget to follow the podcast and @theintimacyally on social media. You can learn more about my upcoming "Making Online Dating Magical" Course at www.theintimacyally.com. You can also subscribe for my newsletter and never miss an event.

Email me at theintimacyally@gmail.com if you have questions, concerns, or want to get more information about 1:1 coaching availability.

What is a delusionship? How do you know you're in one...or more to the point...how do you know when someone is in one with you. My guest, Annie Nonymous, received a letter from a prison one day and found out that someone sure thought they were having a relationship with her and she hadn't a clue. Tune in for the rest!

Check out my article on delusionships here:

https://medium.com/@theintimacyally/7-facts-about-delusionships-c7709845126b

As always my lovelies, should you need me, I am but a discovery call away. Book yours at www.theintimacyally.com

Y'all, fan girl moment! Dr. David Ley, PhD, a personal hero of mine who ran some of my favorite discussions in my Sexual Health Alliance trainings and conferences is my guest today to discuss women and porn consumption amongst other topics we hit on along the way.

He is the author of Insatiable Wives: Women Who Stray and the Men Who Love Them Back, Ethical Porn for Dicks (now one of my FAVORITE books!), andThe Myth of Sex Addiction.

He also is one of the expert sex therapists who signed my certification from the Sexual Health Alliance. Okay, fangirl moment over...but also Squeeeeeee! His takes on porn addiction, sex addiction, societal influence on trends in women's porn consumption, and more will knock your socks off and get your synapses firing for more!

You can find him on social media or on his website at:

@drdavidley 

Davidleyphd.com Dr. David Ley, PhD Bio

David Ley is a clinical psychologist, sex therapist and author, based in Albuquerque, New Mexico. He's the author of several books and research articles on sexuality, including his second book, The Myth of Sex Addiction, which started a firestorm of controversy about the validity of the concept of sex or porn addition. His third book presents a model for men to use to approach their use of pornography in a healthy manner. Dr. Ley is a frequent guest in media around the world, with appearances in sources such as the New York Times, CNN and Time Magazine, to Hustler and Playboy magazines.

Now that my website should be working correctly again, please subscribe at www.theintimacyally.com to get your FREE Self-Love Guide and/or get on the waitlist for new course debuting in 2024 "Making Online Dating Magical!" and start 2024 as your most authentic, empowered, and divine self!

If you're diggin what you're hearing, don't forget to follow me on social media @theintimacyally and follow the podcast so you don't miss any juicy goodness!

It may seem like a no-brainer, but legit, how many of us venture onto the online dating sites in the hopes of finding that "fix" or "cure" for lonliness? Here's the skinny my lovelies, this is NOT the way. I am here to tell you my tale of finding love online and then experiencing an incredibly heavy grief cycle and also to share some insight from professionals I admire on this very subject. I read an excerpt from Kira Asatryan's book, Stop Being Lonely: Three Simple Steps to Developing Close Friendships & Deep Relationships to get this discussion flowing and an article by Dr. Brad Brenner, PhD titled Depression and the Modern Lonliness of Online Dating to round it out.

PLEASE go to www.theintimacyally.com and click SUBSCRIBE as we have had a major screw-up with the site for at least 2 months now (mischief managed now) and have NOT RECEIVED any subscription info in that time frame. I would love to send you your FREE SELF-LOVE GUIDE and keep you posted on upcoming events.

Please email me directly at theintimacyally@gmail.com with questions you would like addressed on the podcast or if you would like to join the waitlist for "Making Online Dating Magical!", my new course coming in January!

My guest today is Michelle Renee, the Human Connection Coach. She has created #softcockweek! She is surrogate partner, professional cuddlist, relationship guide, the curriculum coordinator for Cuddlist.com, a woman who rebirthed herself unlearning trauma and coercion and continues to push the envelope exploring how we relate to each other from the platonic to erotic. She has been interviewed by many media outlets and you can learn more about working with her directly or learning from her at https://humanconnectioncoach.com/

She can be found on socials @meetmichellerenee

Did I mention she is also my mentor??? Today we happily bounce from discussing her "Butthole Whisperer" shirt to discussing our journeys leaving marriages and discovering our right to our true yes and more importantly, our true no, to talking about Sex Geek Camp to Michelle describing her very moving meeting and learning from Betty Dodson, one of my sexuality personal heroes to the power and wonder of cuddling.

So, strap in, strap on maybe, and get ready to meet Michelle. As always please reach out if you have questions! theintimacyally@gmail.com or visit www.theintimacyally.com.

Check out Michelle Renee at:

https://humanconnectioncoach.com/

For info on soft cock week, visit:

https://www.instagram.com/softcockweek/

So, I daresay, more of us are watching than we're admitting, but according to research at least a third of the porn consumed in the US is being watched by WOMEN! Let's kick this socially constructed, misogynistic pile of poo to the curb. Not only are women watching porn, they are liking it and having better sex because they watch it!

Join me on a trip into the whys and whatfors of women watching porn!

Get your FREE Self-Love Guide by subscribing at www.theintimacyally.com or feel free to message me directly at theintimacyally@gmail.com.

Stay up to date on the latest episodes and never miss a beat by following the podcast and finding me on social media @theintimacyally.

Hello my lovelies! Today, I am joined by someone I am so proud to have met. Stephany Ann is a domestic violence activist and survivor. She is also a mom, lawyer, and EFT practitioner. In this episode, we take a deep dive into the narcissim that haunted her marriages, domestic violence myths, and how she started her journey to understanding and healing with EFT.

If you would like more information on EFT or hiring Stephany Ann as a speaker, please email her at stephanyannspeaks@gmail.com

Looking to learn more and Fantasy and Roleplay in the Bedroom, subscribe at www.theintimacyally.com and get on the waitlist for my new course rolling out in time for the holidays. Schedule a discovery call for coaching or workshops in person or over the phone.

You can also schedule a discovery call at theintimacyally@gmail.com

Were you left wanting more after last week's episode??? Well, you have come to the right place! Get ready for the completion of the conversation with the amazing sex edutainer and dildo slinger, Dirty Lola! I'm so excited to share the rest of this with you. Lola explained her thoughts on trans issues, STIs, how she navigated her divorce, talked about her experiences at different sex conventions and conferences, and even gave us a very personal glimpse into what relationships can look like.

Want to keep the amazing information flowing? Don't forget to follow the podcast on Spotify!

Want to learn more about Dirty Lola and her work? Follow her on social media https://www.instagram.com/dirtylola/?hl=en

Learn more about upcoming performances of SexEd-a-go-go and classes and more the website: https://www.dirtylola.co/

Lyndsey Murray, Certified Sex Therapist, and I take a deep dive into the myths surrounding rape in relationships. Lyndsey is not only an LPC and AASECT certified sex therapist with a thriving practic in TX, she is also the co-host of one of my new favorite podcasts, Sex Positivity Unfiltered. We share our personal stories about rape, talk about where the breakdown in sex education needs fixin, and the patriarchal societal grooming that feeds these myths needs a kick to the crotch.

Give Lyndsey Murray and Denise Stratton a listen at:

https://www.sexpositivityunfiltered.com/

Find out more about Lyndsey and her practice at:

Website: www.relationshipmatterstx.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sextherapywithlyndsey

IG: @lyndseymurraycst As always, feel free to reach out with questions at theintimacyally@gmail.com. Please follow the podcast if you dig it and subscribe at www.theintimacyally.com for a chance to win FREE shexshee goodies!

In the wake of the Danny Masterson sentencing, we are taking a deep dive into the psychology of fanatic religious groups. Our guest, Ellen Line, of Roar Wellness is a LCSW-C therapist practicing in Maryland who specializes in relational trauma. She gives insight into how Group Think in fanatic church settings, persecution complexes, and blak and white thinking can contribute to silencing survivors of sexual violence in such settings. She also gives advice on how we can support survivors.

You can learn more about Ellen if you visit her website roarwellness.co. Sign up for her newsletter while you're there. You won't be disappointed.

As always, if you have any questions or would like me to tackle a societal myth, untruth, flat out lie, or just simply say "Hey, thanks, this resonated with me." feel free to email me at theintimacyally@gmail.com. You can get a FREE Self-Love Guide by hitting subscribe when you visit www.theintimacyally.com.

Have a fantastic week, my lovelies! Don't let 'em steal your shine!

***Rape/Sexual Violence Trigger Warning***

This is the first of a 4 part series on rape myths I have called the Sexual Violence Myth Collection in my notes. This first one delves into the Danny Masterson sentencing a bit before launching us into 10 common rape and sexual violence myths perpetuated by our society. The next 3 episodes I will have expert guests on to discuss different myths shared here in more depth and give some perspective from a mental health provider standpoint. In this episode, I do share about my personal history with rape and sexual violence.

Part of my draw to becoming a sex coach was to help women who may be scared to seek traditional medical or psychological help because those systems have historically failed them know that they are not alone. I would like to clarify that I was not married to the man who raped me in a relationship and I did not end up pressing charges on anyone who has been sexually violent with me. I know my rights in my state and have time to change my mind on that, but for now, for me, in my current version of myself, it would do more harm than good to report.

Please reach out if you have a personal story or just want to talk to someone who has been there who will just listen without judgement. You can message me through my website, www.theintimacyally.com or email me directly at theintimacyally@gmail.com

May this episode bring you comfort in knowing that we are part of a movement out to squash these rape culture cultivated social norms!

Other resources from this episode:

https://rainn.org/

https://www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-sexual-violence

More of us than we would like to admit have fallen for this one. We have gotten it into our heads that if we are not a 10 on the hotness scale, if we are not model-level attractive, then we should just take what we can get when it comes to relationships. In this episode, I expose that social norm as utter marlarkey!

Don't forget to follow and share if you dig the podcast!

Subscribe at www.theintimacyally.com for your FREE Self-Love Guide. Email me at theintimacyally@gmail.com for more information on the amazing portrait artist Rebecca Edwards of Crooked House Creations!