Stop Sabotaging Your Success – Details, episodes & analysis

In this episode, Cindy Esliger talks about how the lone wolf mentality of handling everything ourselves can backfire and hold us back. In toxic situations, it can even be used against us. Refusing to collaborate and work with others is self-imposed isolation that keeps us from valuable insights and promotes burnout. Cindy explains how we can learn to open ourselves up and work with others.    

While Cindy isn’t suggesting opening the floodgates to allow everyone to weigh on every decision, she is advocating for understanding the value others bring to our work at key moments. She provides four reasons why it’s valuable: 1) Fresh perspectives mean better solutions, 2) Collaboration sparks creativity, 3) Shared workload means less burnout, and 4) Stronger relationships and better influence. 

Inviting others into our work isn’t just helpful but strategic. It’s not admitting weakness. Cindy explains how insights from others are like an expansion of our knowledge. It also increases our visibility within the organization and can be an advantage. How we approach obtaining collaboration and responses is key to how effective that input will be. Cindy has very specific advice for ensuring the collaboration benefits all parties and keeps us thriving and not retreating back into a lone wolf mindset.   

Resources discussed in this episode:

• Guide to Inviting Collaboration
• Astronomic Audio
• Confidence Collective

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Contact Cindy Esliger 

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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In this episode, Cindy Esliger addresses one of the frustrating aspects of collaborative work: when not every person involved is as invested in pulling their weight and getting the job done as you are. While it might be tempting to go it alone, that isn’t the solution. The reality of collaborative work can feel like herding cats. Cindy dives into how to navigate the minefield of disengagement, obstruction, and conflicting ideas with teamwork intact and without losing sanity.   

Why is every person involved in a project not equally invested or competent? That’s simply the reality of workplaces and collaborative interaction. Cindy identifies the four main types of people we’re likely to encounter and how they operate. 1) the Doers, 2) the Observers, 3) the Drainers, and 4) the Saboteurs. She then offers three tips for handling everyone on a team, regardless of which type they are. 1) Set clear expectations from the start, 2) Encourage accountability, and 3) Use influence.

Cindy explores how to identify our own tendencies in a group project. It’s possible that we are actually disengaged or indifferent. If so, we need to find a way to contribute meaningfully. She lays out how effective communication works and points out how to avoid simply identifying problems without working toward solutions. Observers can be turned into active contributors using careful strategies, and saboteurs can be redirected without a showdown. This episode is key to learning exactly how to navigate group projects effectively when each team member operates differently. 

Resources discussed in this episode:

• Guide to Navigating Team Dynamics
• Astronomic Audio
• Confidence Collective

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Contact Cindy Esliger 

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Cindy Esliger explores the idea of putting ourselves to the test and stepping outside our comfort zones in this episode. There’s an allure to sticking to what we’re good at but if we only do what we’re good at, we don’t get challenged. When we accept a challenge, we trust ourselves more and build greater self-confidence. But how do we take those first steps? 

When we master something, we feel good about ourselves because it’s safe and we have a niche. But eventually, it feels like autopilot. The thing about comfort zones is that they feel like we’re progressing in what we’re already good at but in reality, we’re just spinning our wheels. What if there’s something else we should be doing or could be good at? Cindy talks about what happens when we take a risk and try something new. Something unfamiliar.

Cindy describes what it looks like to push ourselves and the potential successes and personal gains we could realize. But she also acknowledges the societal and workplace barriers that contribute to our self-doubt. Four big barriers come to mind: 1. Imposter syndrome, 2. Double standards, 3. Perfectionism, and 4. The glass ceiling. So how do we overcome these barriers to take a chance to develop our skills in a new area? Cindy talks about exactly how to confront self-doubt and barriers to see what we’re actually made of. 

Resources discussed in this episode:

• Guide to Boosting Your Confidence
• Astronomic Audio
• Confidence Collective

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Contact Cindy Esliger 

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Cindy Esliger addresses having an intentional path and not leaving our futures to chance. What has to change in order to make what we want to have happen possible? Cindy leads us into exploration on how our stories are still being written, and how we can control the writing.

The question “what would have to change for me to be completely fulfilled” is posed early on in Cindy’s talk. The answer illuminates what we find unsatisfying or threatening and shows us what changes we can start to make to rewrite the direction of our own story. Are there experiments we can take on to find more open doors at work? 

Confidence and courage are skills Cindy says we can develop. It’s true that things don’t always go as planned, though, so Cindy offers five steps to help us find our way through setbacks: 1. Wallow if necessary, 2. Celebrate the result, 3. Shake it off, 4. Review, reassess, realign, and 5. Get back in the game. Cindy outlines how to avoid getting stuck in a blame game and to reassess our narrative. She guides us through using our time to write our stories our way.

Resources discussed in this episode:

• Guide to Getting Unstuck
• Astronomic Audio

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Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Cindy Esliger talks about how facts and emotions intertwine. How we feel about a situation affects how we perceive the facts of that situation. Cindy wants us to understand how awareness and acceptance of where we are will affect our perception. 

The saying “it is what it is” bothers Cindy because it feels as though we are being told to simply accept the way things are instead of thinking they could be different. In truth, we do sometimes have to accept things but that means being at peace with them, not accepting them as the  upper limit. Cindy explains how different mindsets and emotions - gratitude instead of complaint, for example - can change our perspective and also the possibilities open to us.   

Cindy outlines five common reasons we rationalize our feelings of overwhelm and cynicism: 1) Fulfills an emotional need that’s not being met, 2) Allows us to feel more in control, 3) Gives us attention, 4) Gets us off the hook in terms of blame, and 5) It protects us. She then explores how acceptance and changing our fixed mindset are key to moving past the negative emotions. She guides us towards relearning our behaviors for the better.

Resources discussed in this episode:

• Guide to Creating A New Habit
• Astronomic Audio
• Carol Dweck

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Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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Cindy Esliger addresses the subconscious need to obtain permission to move forward on our goals. We are socialized from youth to seek permission from someone in charge. But now that we’re adults, are we letting that hold us back from making choices that benefit us?  

We don’t actually need anyone’s permission to make the pieces of our work and lives fit well together. Job constraints may not be as rigid as we tell ourselves or complain about. Cindy offers the idea that flexibility is the key to taking time we need during work hours to get things accomplished for ourselves. She explains how to navigate that idea.

Cindy points out that job results matter more than hours spent at work. Ensure that your work hours are truly spent working and productive, taking initiative for getting the work done in the hours you prefer, and caretaking your energy cycles. She gives us three signs to tell when we’re at the end of an energy cycle and offers a solution other than “powering through”. We don’t need anyone’s permission to be our best selves.

Resources discussed in this episode:

• Guide to Optimizing Your Week
• Astronomic Audio

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Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Overcoming adversity is what Cindy Esliger addresses today. How we handle feelings of doubt and fear when we come up against obstacles is a necessary part of growth. Challenge is part of our roadmap to success so Cindy walks us through how to cope with adversity. 

We are more or less hardwired to avoid adversity. Our brains, programmed for survival, try to steer us away from adversity to help us stay alive. Now that we’ve evolved, however, avoidance is not the key to success in a safer world. What exactly are we avoiding, anyway? Cindy explains the three types of adversity we tend to face.

We need a plan for dealing with these things that appear to be clear and present danger. Cindy first highlights the four common pitfalls in our dealings with adversity: 1) Not making enough decisions, 2) Not taking necessary actions, 3) Not considering possibilities, and 4) Shutting down to escape. She then details how to get past these pitfalls with three secrets to overcoming adversity. Facing fears makes us stronger, after all.

Resources discussed in this episode:

• Guide for Determining Your Adversity Quotient
• Astronomic Audio

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Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

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Cindy Esliger asks us to look at who we are becoming by reflecting on how far we’ve come. Who are we really when our facades and defenses are down? When we can answer that, Cindy says, we can look ahead and make the right choices about who we are becoming. 

We are defined by the choices we’ve made so Cindy walks us through exploring what those choices have been. Our choices should be in alignment with where we want to be and what our strengths are. We can be thrown off course when we internalize critiques and let our insecurities prevent us from pursuing our purpose.

Cindy urges us to learn to take a compliment and not focus solely on critique. When we achieve great things, it’s okay to celebrate them. Letting ourselves feel capable and confident will help tear down the imposter syndrome that derails us on our path to becoming. Cindy offers three statements that fight imposter syndrome: 1) I am enough, 2) I worked hard for this, and 3) I make the most of opportunities before me. Become who you truly want to be with Cindy’s assistance.

Resources discussed in this episode:

• Guide for Who You Are Becoming
• Astronomic Audio

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Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Cindy Esliger talks about second guessing ourselves at work. Are things said to us just annoyances to dismiss or are they things to take seriously? Or are we beginning to think everything is a sign? Cindy wants to address how making career decisions out of fear leaves us susceptible to gaslighting. 

What’s said to us is often neutral but we interpret the words with our own emotions based on past experiences. Cindy notes that this makes us create our own limitations which opens us up to the form of workplace bullying known as gaslighting. We question our ability to do the job that we know we are more than capable of doing. 

Cindy advises us to maintain a true, balanced, compassionate view of ourselves. She offers three steps to shifting our mindset: 1) notice our subconscious programming, 2) increase our awareness, 3) create a new belief system. She explores each of these in depth and shares stories from her career that relate in a powerful way. Cindy urges us to remember that we are not someone else’s opinion of us.

Resources discussed in this episode:

• Guide for Early Waning Signs of Gaslighting
• Astronomic Audio

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Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Cindy Esliger examines what we need in order to move out of toxic workplaces and into spaces that do not crush our souls. There are options besides simply suffering for a paycheque and part of the power to move forward already resides within us.  

Perhaps the toxicity is due to failures you’ve been part of in your work, perhaps it’s a poisonous boss or unsupportive atmosphere. We stay put, Cindy says, because we become paralyzed. We hate our jobs but see no way out. The toxicity bleeds into every aspect of our lives. Cindy wants us to assess where we really are, the recent successes we’ve realized, to shake us awake.

Recent changes are our best motivator for moving forward. Change is hard but believing in ourselves is a key part of working towards a better workplace. Cindy offers insight into four survival strategies to help us make the changes: 1) Listen to your body, 2) Gain perspective, 3) Face your fears, and 4) Set your boundaries. When we really recognize our situations, we are more ready to make a move.

Resources discussed in this episode:

• Guide for Moving Forward
• Astronomic Audio

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Contact Cindy Esliger - Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.