Explore every episode of the podcast Speaking With Confidence

Have you ever wondered why most cold networking emails get ignored while just a few actually open doors to real opportunities? In this episode of Speaking with Confidence, we answer that question by flipping the traditional "ask first" script on its head. I'm Tim Newman, your host and communication coach, and today we're tackling one of the biggest stumbling blocks in networking and professional relationship-building: how to connect with someone who seems out of reach without coming across as desperate or transactional. There isn’t a guest on this episode; it’s just you and me going deep on this crucial topic. If you’ve ever sent a message to a hiring manager, recruiter, or potential mentor only to be met with silence, you’re not alone. Most outreach falls flat because it starts with a one-sided task. We’ve all been there: hoping for a referral, an introduction, or just 15 minutes on someone’s calendar. But if you’re only asking (and not giving), your message blends into a sea of requests and quickly gets deleted. That’s why I’m sharing the Reciprocity Bridge, a three-part strategy for building authentic relationships by giving first, waiting, and then making a specific, respectful ask. This approach not only increases your odds of a response, but also establishes a foundation of trust and goodwill. It’s the missing piece that ties together the last few episodes on how to improve both your cold outreach and your follow-up skills. In this episode, I dive into: Why most cold asks get deleted and how to avoid being generic or forgettable The importance of changing the power dynamic when reaching out Why the problem isn’t asking for help but how and when you ask How genuine reciprocity builds trust and invites people to help you (and why people can sense when it’s fake) The three steps of the Reciprocity Bridge: Give something real, allow a genuine time gap, and then make your specific ask Practical examples of what you can offer, from thoughtful praise to helpful resources or introductions A breakdown of why timing matters and how to avoid coming off as transactional Scripts and actionable tips for crafting both your initial outreach and your “ask” in a way that people want to say yes to What to do if you get no response, or if you’re struggling to find an authentic way to give first You’ll also get a personal challenge: before sending your next networking message, stop and ask yourself what you can genuinely offer then let that gesture breathe before you make your ask. If you missed the other episodes in this series, make sure to check out the Give First Formula (for cold outreach) and the Continuation Frame (for better follow-ups). Together, they create a powerful system for building real professional relationships, one step at a time. As always, I remind you that progress, not perfection, is the goal. For more resources including a free ebook and course information visit speakingwithconfidencepodcast.com. Your voice truly has the power to change the world. Let’s build bridges, not just send messages. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever felt completely prepared for a presentation, only to have your confidence evaporate the moment you step up to speak? If so, you’re not alone. In this episode of Speaking with Confidence, we're tackling one of the most common and most frustrating experiences for anyone who speaks, performs, or competes in front of others: performance anxiety. I'm Tim Newman, a recovering college professor turned communication coach, and today I’m joined by Dr. David Fish, a PhD in ethnomusicology, professional musician, and a leading authority on performance anxiety and mindfulness. David not only shared the stage with legendary names like Ella Fitzgerald and Little Richard, but he also had his own unforgettable “freeze” moment while performing with Sonny and Cher, a moment that sparked a lifelong quest to understand what really happens when nerves take over. In our conversation, David explains the difference between confidence and performance anxiety, and why so many talented professionals, whether they’re in the spotlight or the boardroom, find their skills deserted at the crucial moment. We unpack the myths around just “thinking positive” or “calming down,” and dig into why these strategies often fall short when your internal bodyguard (the amygdala) decides there’s a threat and floods your system with adrenaline. Here’s what we covered in this episode: The difference between confidence and performance anxiety, and how even seasoned professionals can be caught off guard by nerves Why common advice like “calm down” or “think positive” doesn’t work against adrenaline-fueled anxiety The three factors that trigger performance anxiety, no matter your field or experience level How to accept, not fight, your nervousness and why that leads to better performance The importance of preparation, rituals, and controlling your environment (plus what to do when things don’t go as planned) The role of mindful focus (“only go straight, don’t know”) in overcoming distractions and outside judgments How to distinguish between excitement and anxiety, and why channeling energy the right way matters The idea that public speaking is a performance, and why embracing that doesn’t mean being inauthentic The value of bringing your core beliefs and values to the moment, especially when the stakes are high Practical strategies for shifting self-talk and grounding yourself before you step up to speak If you’ve ever wondered why your nerves sometimes get the best of you, or you’re searching for practical, compassionate tools to step into the spotlight with greater confidence, this episode offers wisdom, stories, and actionable guidance you can use right away. As always, remember: you’re not broken; performance anxiety is a perfectly human response. Accept it, focus on what matters, and keep showing up with courage Connect with David: Website: https://riseupeight.com LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/davidleefish/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/Rise-Up-Eight/61584704705649/# Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/riseupeight8    YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/@riseupeight    Book: https://a.co/d/0cyKBDvl Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever left a conference feeling like you made genuine connections, only to watch those relationships fizzle out after sending a follow-up email? In this episode of Speaking with Confidence, we tackle a frustrating and surprisingly common problem: why do so many conference follow-up emails fall flat, and how can you ensure yours actually build real relationships? Today, I’m diving deep into the art of the conference follow-up specifically, why a generic “Great meeting you!” does more harm than good, and how to transform the way you reconnect after those face-to-face moments. We’ve all been there: you’ve spent hours building rapport, swapping stories, maybe even venting about bad coffee or laughing about a keynote that went long. But when it’s time to send the follow-up, it somehow collapses into the same stale template you’ve sent to a dozen other people. The result? Radio silence. There’s no guest in this episode, it's just me, sharing the hard-earned lessons from my own experience as a communication coach and former college professor (and yes, from plenty of my own failed networking attempts). If you missed last week’s episode on the three-sentence fix for cold emails, I highly recommend checking that out, since what we’ll talk about today builds right on top of that foundation. Here’s what you can expect from this episode:I’ll reveal the critical mistake everyone makes treating a warm conference contact just like a cold lead. I’ll walk you through the “continuation frame,” a powerful technique that ensures your follow-up picks up where you left off rather than starting over from zero. We’ll break down why referencing your actual conversation, not just the handshake, is the difference between being remembered and being ignored. You’ll learn how to craft a three-sentence email with the right kind of opening, a thoughtful delivery of what you promised, and an exit ramp that doesn’t pressure the other person. By the end of our discussion, you’ll know: Why most follow-up emails unintentionally say “goodbye” instead of “let’s keep building” The real reason people don’t reply to generic follow-ups (it’s not what you think) The three essential components of a compelling conference follow-up email How to reference shared moments as social capital What to do if you didn’t promise anything (and why never to fake it) The timing “sweet spot” for your follow-up How to turn every handshake into a real relationship by proving you listened, not just networked I’ll also challenge you to review your last follow-up email and rewrite your opening sentence, so it proves you were actually present in the original conversation. That small shift is the whole game it takes you from being a stranger to someone who’s genuinely invested. Listen in for practical tips that will transform how you connect after conferences and remember: your voice and your follow-up has the power to change the world. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever wondered why it seems so hard to speak up and reclaim your voice as an adult, even though we were so unfiltered and fearless as kids? In today’s episode of Speaking with Confidence, we’re tackling that very question and digging into those internal stories and cultural messages that shape how we show up both on stage and in our everyday lives. This episode is especially close to my heart, as it hits at the core of why I started this podcast: to help listeners build the kind of communication skills and confidence that lead to real results, not just professionally, but personally, too. Joining me is Stephanie Peirolo, a board-certified executive coach, celebrated storyteller featured on The Moth and NPR, and author of The Saint and the Drunk: A Guide to Making the Big Decisions in Your Life. Throughout our conversation, Stephanie gets real about the myth that “some people are just born confident.” She shares her own deep stage fright (including throwing up in green rooms before major performances!) and opens up about how purpose and intention can transform even the most anxiety-inducing moments into opportunities for profound connection and healing. We discuss her pivotal experience on The Moth stage, how storytelling can be both freeing and healing, and how adults can rediscover their ‘inner knowing’ that deep sense of what’s right for them that so many of us learned to suppress. Stephanie and I also dive into the ways our families, cultural backgrounds, and even gender shape the stories we tell ourselves about who gets to have a voice. We talk about boundaries, why they’re for you, not other people and tackle the double standards that women often face when speaking up at work or at home. Stephanie offers powerful, practical advice on how to stop over-functioning and start setting boundaries that support your authentic self. Other highlights from the episode include: Why passion matters more than early “talent” in writing or public speaking How your internal narratives about your communication skills can help or hurt you Managing anxiety on stage (even if you’re an old pro) The healing power of sharing your truth, even when it’s hard How generational and cultural messages decide who “deserves” to be heard Spotting the difference between a personal shortcoming and a systemic issue The importance of context, intention, and curiosity in creating connection—at work, at home, or with a stranger in an Uber Strategies for reframing your definition of success (especially in the age of social media) The ancient and modern wisdom of tuning into your inner knowing, and who really deserves influence in your life If you want practical insights for reclaiming your voice, clearing out the stories that hold you back, and learning to trust yourself again, this episode delivers. Stephanie’s wisdom, warmth, and honesty make it a must-listen, whether you’re grappling with big life decisions or just want to show up more authentically in your daily conversations. Thanks for tuning in, as always. Don’t forget to check out the show notes for links to Stephanie’s book, her Substack, and how you can connect with her for coaching or speaking. And remember your voice has the power to change the world. Connect with Stephanie: Website: https://www.speirolo.com   LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/speirolo/   Substack: https://speirolo.substack.com   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/speirolo/#   TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@speirolo   Book: https://a.co/d/04Ltuo3k Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever sent a cold email that disappeared into the ether, never to be answered and wondered what you did wrong? In this episode of Speaking with Confidence, I tackle that painfully common problem head-on and reveal the tiny but powerful shift that makes your outreach stand out from the delete pile. As your host, I'm drawing from years as a college professor and communication coach, and I start by sharing one of the most frequent messages in my own inbox: “Can I pick your brain over coffee for 15 minutes?” If you’ve ever sent that kind of request or received it you already know how uphill the battle for a reply can be. The truth is, most people have overflowing inboxes and little time to give to vague asks. But there’s good news: you don't need to send the perfect message; you just need to be different from the rest. There’s no guest this week, it's just me, guiding you through the concrete tactics and deeper mindset shifts that change how your emails land. I dig into the invisible factors that sabotage cold messages, from desperate undertones to the all-about-me approach that turns people off. Then, I introduce my Give First Formula, a simple, three-sentence structure that transforms your message from an ask to a value-driven exchange. Here’s what you’ll hear in this episode: Why typos and awkward phrasing aren’t the real reason your cold emails get ignored The downside of clichéd openers like “I love your content” and “I’m a huge fan” The psychology of email overload and why you’re competing with hundreds of other requests Why “pick your brain” is vague, unfair, and guaranteed to get skipped How to make your message about the recipient, not you The three essential sentences of the Give First Formula: a value observation, a low-friction ask, and a genuine exit ramp Concrete examples of ineffective and effective cold emails The biggest traps people fall into like telling a long backstory, asking for too much too soon, and following up with “just checking in” How to follow up in a way that adds value rather than nagging Why structure, not talent or connections, is what gets you noticed and answered Finally, I challenge you to take one cold email you’ve been holding onto and run it through the Give First Formula to see the impact for yourself. And I tease what’s coming next week: how to follow up with someone after you finally get a response or meeting, so you stay top-of-mind without becoming a forgotten business card. If you want your voice to stand out and your outreach to get replies, this episode is for you. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever wondered why we spend so much time teaching kids math and science, but not how to introduce ourselves, hold a conversation, or handle rejection? On this episode of Speaking with Confidence, we dive deep into the critical life skills that every young person needs but most are never formally taught. I’m Tim Newman, your host and a communication coach who believes that real success comes from mastering soft skills like communication, storytelling, public speaking, and the confidence to show up authentically. Today, I’m joined by Rob Heller, founder of the BOOST Youth Alliance. Rob’s mission is to equip young people with the essential life skills that set them up for success in every area of life. He started BOOST when he couldn’t find a program that taught his son the lessons he knew were crucial so he built his own. Rob brings decades of entrepreneurial experience and a deep commitment to mentoring youth, making him the perfect guest to discuss why communication and resilience matter now more than ever. In our conversation, we tackled the mistakes we make as parents when it comes to technology and the impact that screens and smartphones have on developing communication skills. Rob and I reminisced about how the world has changed with phones glued to our hands, it’s easier to lose out on face-to-face interactions and the benefits they bring. Rob shared how self-awareness is growing among today’s parents, but also that it’s a constant struggle to set boundaries around tech use. We explored the difference between protecting young people and preparing them for the real world. Rob described how BOOST addresses not just people skills and character, but also building a healthy mindset giving kids practical tools to deal with setbacks, acknowledge their mistakes, and build true confidence. We also discussed why skills like accountability, resilience, and the ability to hold a simple conversation are the missing pieces in most academic programs. During the episode, we covered: The real reason communication skills are missing from most high school curricula Rob’s journey building BOOST for his own family and now for countless others The impact of screens and technology on developing essential life skills How to set boundaries as parents (and model the right behavior ourselves) Why accountability and apologizing quickly matter so much for building trust and confidence The art of starting a conversation even for introverts Why employers care so much more about soft skills than technical ones Practical tips for greeting people, making eye contact, and remembering names The science behind why connecting with others feels so good (hint: it’s the chemicals in your brain) Tips for parents and educators to help young people practice these skills from an early age How BOOST’s 26 core skills help kids prepare for life, not just for school If you’ve ever wished your child or even yourself could confidently connect, communicate, and handle life’s curveballs with resilience, this episode is packed with insights and actionable advice. Rob’s work through BOOST is helping a generation get back to the basics, and we agree, these are the missing courses we all need. To learn more about BOOST or connect with Rob, check out boostprogram.com, and don’t forget to grab his book, The Missing Course for Today’s Youth. And as always, if you want to overcome your own public speaking challenges, visit speakingwithconfidencepodcast.com for free resources and courses. Let’s keep building confidence one conversation at a time! Connect with Rob: Website: https://boostprogram.com YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Boost_Program Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/boostkids Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/boost_program/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@boost_program Book: https://a.co/0gKE15oT Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever walked out of a tough conversation and found yourself replaying it in your head for hours, unable to move on? If so, you’re not alone and today’s episode is here to help you finally break that cycle. I’m Tim Newman, your host at Speaking with Confidence, and in this episode, we’re tackling the part of communication that no one talks about what to do after the conversation ends. As a recovering college professor turned communication coach, I’ve seen time and again that the real work and the biggest challenges often come in those quiet moments after the words are done. Let’s face it: most of us think once the hard discussion is over, we’re supposed to instantly “move on.” But our bodies and minds rarely let us off that easily. Whether you just navigated a tense moment with your boss, had to deliver bad news, or disagreed with someone you care about, that post-conversation adrenaline can keep you stuck in rumination and anxiety long after the room goes silent. In this episode, I’m sharing a practical 4-step reset that separates people who can let things go from those who end up dragging that baggage into every future conversation. You’ll learn not just what happens in the brain and body after a tough talk but what to actually do about it. Here’s what we covered today: Why your nervous system can’t tell the difference between a tense conversation and running from a bear, and why the adrenaline surge makes it so hard to think clearly after a difficult exchange. The difference between rumination (unproductive replaying) and genuine reflection, plus a simple test to help you determine which one you’re doing. Step 1: Stop. Why you have to give yourself at least 20 minutes for your body to clear out stress hormones before you analyze what happened, and how movement can help you reset. The importance of giving yourself grace, not just to others, and how skipping this step can keep you stuck in yesterday’s tension. Step 2: The reflection test is an actionable way to spot if you’re actually learning from the experience or just spinning your wheels. Step 3: Writing out the conversation like a transcript, capturing what was actually said (not just what you felt or remember), and how this builds accuracy and empathy for yourself and for others. Step 4: The follow-up decision is to determine if you need to reach out and close the loop with someone, or consciously let it go and move forward, so lingering tension doesn’t fester in your life or at work. Why a deliberate decision to release a conversation is the key to sleeping well and not carrying unresolved stress with you. A final challenge for you: what to do next time you leave a hard conversation, so you’re not trapped by it. No guests today, just me, sharing what I’ve learned both in the classroom and as a coach about how to navigate the aftermath of tough conversations with clarity and confidence. If you’re ready to reclaim your peace of mind, build healthier relationships, and stop letting old arguments steal your energy, this episode is for you. Remember, progress beats perfection. Be sure to check out the free resources and course information at speakingwithconfidencepodcast.com. Your voice and your ability to reset after the hard talks can change your world. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What would you do if you were fired at 63, staring down the barrel of financial ruin with just two years before the money ran out? Today’s episode dives deep into this very question and the surprising answers that can only come when there's no plan B left. Welcome back to Speaking with Confidence! I’m Tim Newman, and in this episode, we explore not just the journey from zero to a seven-figure portfolio, but the grit, resilience, and communication skills necessary to rewrite your story, no matter your age or starting point. This isn’t just about finances; it’s about the mental and emotional side of rebuilding when your confidence has been shattered, and the world has moved on without you. Our guest is David Nassief, the author of The One-Page Wealth Compass, whose book became an Amazon #1 hot new release and topped charts in retirement, investing, and budgeting categories. David’s story isn’t a fairy tale it’s a gripping reality of facing a late-career layoff, family anxiety, rejection after rejection, and the massive psychological hurdles of feeling like you’re out of options. But it’s also a story of redemption, practical strategy, and finding true confidence on the other side. In our conversation, David opens up about the emotional impact of losing his job after 18 years with the same company not just on his finances, but on his identity and his relationship with his wife. We discuss what it feels like to tell your spouse you might be broke in two years, and the quiet strength it takes to accept reassurance from someone who knows you can pull through even when you’re not so sure yourself. David shares about his lowest point in a grocery store aisle, feeling completely out of place and overwhelmed by shame and self-doubt, and how facing that moment became the catalyst for change. Here’s what we covered in this episode: The emotional and psychological impact of late-career job loss Talking to your spouse about financial crisis and building a support system Overcoming rejection, rebuilding confidence, and why grit matters The difference between making money and building lasting wealth How small investment fees can quietly destroy your financial future Turning past failures into powerful lessons for success The transformative value of communication, public speaking, and cold calling The importance of humor and authenticity in difficult times Practical steps from the One-Page Wealth Compass for simplifying wealth-building The urgent case for financial literacy in schools and how to think critically about financial advice Letting go of shame, embracing your personal story, and finding confidence on your own terms Whether you’re facing a career setback, trying to get your finances in order, or looking to strengthen your confidence in any area of life, this episode is packed with real talk, actionable tips, and a lot of heart. As always, thanks for listening to Speaking with Confidence. Remember, your voice, your story, and your resilience matter more than you think. Connect with David: LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/111549991 Website: https://onepagewealthcompass.com YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@onepagewealthcompass Book: https://www.amazon.com/One-Page-Wealth-Compass-Nearly-Millionaire-ebook/dp/B0G5JPX17R Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever wondered why your team keeps hitting the same roadblocks during tough conversations, even after attending communication training? In this episode, I get to the heart of why knowing what not to do isn’t enough and share the system that finally gives your team the words and tools to handle conflict before it explodes. I’m Tim Newman, and today on Speaking with Confidence, I’m diving into what it really takes to flip those negative habits that sabotage hard conversations into positive ones that drive real collaboration. There’s no guest today, just an honest breakdown of practical tools you can start using right away. Last week, we named the five habits that hijack difficult conversations: win at all costs, react instead of respond, only my opinion matters, never ask questions, and get even. If you missed it, definitely go back and listen, because today’s episode builds on those ideas and moves us forward. Here’s the tough truth: knowing what’s wrong doesn’t automatically mean we know how to get it right. You can recognize bad habits all day long and still have no idea how to turn things around in the heat of the moment. That’s why today, I show you how to build the five habits that make conflict your team’s best tool rather than its biggest threat. We talk through my three-step system for making sure these new habits aren’t just words in a workbook, but living, breathing patterns your team uses every day. In this episode, I’ll walk you through: Why avoiding hard conversations doesn’t make your team more peaceful, it makes things more dangerous, as small disagreements silently snowball into major problems. The first step: naming the enemy together and recognizing that negative patterns are shared challenges, not personal flaws. I show you how to help your team see conflict as a pattern they can all recognize and change, using real-life examples from your own workplace. The second step: flipping it together. We dig into what the five positive RIGHT habits are: respect before rebuttal, investigate with curiosity, grace, here to understand, and think together. I show you how to map real team conflicts from “wrong” to “right,” making the fixes obvious and practical. The danger of weaponizing the framework, and why progress is more important than perfection plus why making the language simple enough for anyone to explain is key. The third step: anchoring these habits with a team cue a shared phrase or code word that prompts everyone to pause and reset before things spiral out of control. I explain why the cue only works if your team truly “owns” it and how modeling it as a leader is the secret to making it stick. The honest reality is that even great conflict training only reduces, not eliminates, conflict and that’s not a failure, but a sign your team is learning to handle disagreements with trust and confidence. I end by challenging you to take just one step this week whether it’s naming a wrong, mapping a real conflict to right, or introducing your team’s cue in a low-stakes setting. Remember, real progress comes from using these tools in actual conversations, not just understanding them in theory. If you’re ready to transform the way your team handles tough conversations, this episode is for you. Be sure to visit speakingwithconfidencepodcast.com for your free public speaking ebook and to register for my Formula for Public Speaking course. As always, your voice has the power to change the world. Let’s build the habits that unlock it. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What does it really take to be heard across generational lines, and how can we bridge the communication gap between Gen Z and other generations? That’s the big question we tackle in this episode of Speaking with Confidence. I’m Tim Newman, and today we dive into the evolving landscape of communication far beyond polished speeches and proper grammar. It’s about making people feel seen, heard, and understood. This episode features an eye-opening conversation with Raquel Borras, creator of “Rock the Boat,” founder of Rock Vision, brand strategist, podcast host, and filmmaker. Raquel is on a mission to help us stop talking about Gen Z and start listening to them, taking the bold step of traveling cross-country in an RV to connect with Gen Zers face-to-face and create her new documentary, “I Hear You, Gen Z.” In our conversation, Raquel shares what drove her to leave her corporate job, fund her filmmaking adventure with her own savings, and the life-changing experiences that unfolded along the way. We discuss the importance of not burning bridges, as Raquel recounts her ongoing positive relationship with her former company illustrating how supportive networks are crucial, no matter where your path leads. Raquel gives us an inside look at the journey of making “I Hear You, Gen Z,” sharing the surprises and lessons learned as she met young people across the country. What stood out most was Gen Z's reliability and willingness to show up and engage, challenging so many tired stereotypes about this generation’s work ethic and priorities. We talk about the often-overlooked impact of the pandemic on Gen Z’s communication skills and how, instead of blaming them, we need to recognize the responsibility of older generations for shaping the current social and technological environment. In this episode, we cover: Why making others feel heard is the ultimate communication skill Raquel's leap from corporate to purpose-driven storytelling The real-life lessons from traveling the country for “I Hear You, Gen Z” Busting myths about Gen Z’s work ethic, reliability, and motivations The impact of the pandemic and social shifts on Gen Z communication How adults are responsible for many of the systemic challenges facing youth Reverse mentoring and breaking down generational silos in the workplace Evolving approaches to parenting, boundaries, and building trust How technology both enables and complicates real connection Finding and valuing every story: why every voice matters Inspiring stories of Gen Zers making a difference and how we can all learn from them Ultimately, if you want to build real confidence in communication at home, at work, or in society this conversation is for you. We can change the narrative, embrace empathy, and start seeing every generation, including Gen Z, as teachers, leaders, and partners in progress. Connect with Raquel: Website: https://raq.vision LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/raquel-borras/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/raquel.borras/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/i_hear_you_gen_z/ I Hear You Gen Z Documentary: https://my.linkpod.site/IHearYouGenZ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever wondered why even your best arguments leave people tuning out or avoiding you entirely? In this episode of Speaking with Confidence, I tackle the hidden habits that quietly wreck our conversations often without us realizing it. If you’ve ever felt like you keep “winning” at work or in your personal life, but walking away with damaged relationships or unresolved issues, you’re not alone. Today, I’ll help you diagnose exactly what’s going wrong under the surface, so you can start making positive changes. We often assume that because we talk a lot, we’re skilled communicators. But as I share in this episode, talking isn’t the same as communicating and somewhere along the way, we started treating conversations like competition instead of collaboration. Whether it’s the Monday morning meeting, a heated text exchange, or a hasty email you regret sending later, the patterns are the same. I’ll break down my OWN diagnostic framework, WRONG, five habits that sneak into our conversations and leave us disconnected from the very people we most want—or need to reach. This time, it’s just me, Tim Newman, your host and a recovering college professor turned communication coach. I’m passionate about helping you build not just your public speaking skills or storytelling chops, but the soft skills that drive real results in every conversation that counts. Here’s what I cover in this episode: Why “winning” every argument can actually lose you the room and sabotage trust The WRONG framework: five habits that quietly wreck even our most important conversations W: Why “Win at all costs” poisons your effectiveness and relationships R: How “React instead of respond” turns your emotions into your worst enemy (and what biology has to do with it) O: Why believing “Only my opinion matters” is confirmation bias in disguise and locks out new ideas N: The power lost when you “Never ask questions” and how questions turn conversations into connection and discovery G: How “Get even” turns honest disagreements into score-settling and why this is the most damaging habit of all Real-world examples of these habits in action, from the workplace to your personal life The science and research behind why we fall into these traps and what it costs us in productivity and trust A practical weekly challenge to help you recognize and change just one of these self-sabotaging habits If you recognize yourself in a couple (or even all) of these habits, don’t worry that’s exactly where growth begins. Next episode, I’ll share the right way to build civil, effective conversations that genuinely move things forward. For now, tune in and take the first step by naming what’s actually wrong then watch your communication start to change. Don’t forget, you can grab your free ebook on the top 21 challenges for public speakers at speakingwithconfidencepodcast.com and register for my upcoming public speaking course as well. Your voice has the power to change the world. Let's make sure you’re using it to connect, not just compete. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What truly makes persuasion effective convincing arguments, or the power of storytelling? In this episode of Speaking with Confidence, we dive deep into the difference between being merely heard and genuinely remembered. I’m Tim Newman, your guide on this journey to mastering powerful communication. Today, I had the pleasure of sitting down with Michael Stockham, a powerhouse in the legal world, a bestselling novelist, and an electrifying speaker who commanded attention in courtrooms and captured imaginations on the page. With over two decades of high-stakes litigation experience and a series of acclaimed legal thrillers under his belt, Michael Stockham brings a unique perspective on how story, clarity, and curiosity not just bravado build real confidence and persuasion. Our conversation explores the vital importance of earning your audience’s attention in those crucial first thirty seconds and why brevity and preparation are more persuasive than simply saying more. Michael Stockham unpacks what he’s learned from years persuading judges, juries, and now readers, revealing how mistakes and even “wrecking” your perfect material can make you more relatable and impactful. We explore practical ways lawyers pare down complex arguments for juries, how to hook attention with a strong opening, and the similarities between the courtroom, the boardroom, and fiction writing when it comes to keeping your listener engaged. Here’s what we covered in this episode: Why persuasion starts with storytelling, not just facts or volume How to earn attention in the first 30 seconds of any interaction Techniques for streamlining complex arguments into memorable, persuasive messages The balance between preparation and improvisation in public speaking Practical advice for reading nonverbal cues and adapting in real time even with a silent audience The value of candid, actionable feedback and how to give (and receive) it for growth Building connections across generations, especially with young professionals hungry for honest input Why entertainment value matters in any form of communication—be it a trial, a sale, or a novel How writing fiction sharpens clarity, brevity, and impact in professional communication Actionable tips for practicing conversation skills in everyday life to become a more confident speaker Whether you’re in the courtroom, a meeting, the classroom, or just trying to make a memorable impression, this episode is your guide to showing up with clarity, confidence, and the kind of compelling story that moves people to action. Connect with Michael: Website: https://jakefoxthrillers.lpages.co   Twitter: http://twitter.com/michaelstockham Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/michael.stockham/ Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/michael.stockham.5/ LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/michaelstockham/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if those five seconds of awkward silence after a tough question aren’t your enemy, but your superpower? In this episode of Speaking with Confidence, I’m diving straight into one of the most nerve-wracking moments in any presentation: the Q&A. We rehearse our slides, perfect our transitions, and smooth out our closing lines, but when the floor opens up for questions, everything can change in an instant especially when you feel you’ve lost control. I know that feeling all too well, both as a former college professor and now as a communication coach. As I guide you through, I’ll show you how these moments of silence, those pauses where your heart is pounding and your mind goes blank, can actually be your secret weapon rather than your biggest fear. In this solo episode, there’s no guest just me and decades of experience with Q&A sessions that taught me the hard way: confidence isn’t about never freezing or panicking, it’s about having a system you can rely on when the pressure hits. I share the “5-Second Rule” I discovered after years in the classroom, and I’ll show you why your audience sees these pauses as thoughtful, even when they feel endless to you. Today, I break down the three greatest anxiety spikes that sabotage Q&As losing control of the room, getting a curveball or even hostile question, and the nightmare of complete silence. I’ll walk you through handling tough questions you never prepared for, responding calmly when you’re challenged, and, most importantly, holding the silence confidently when nobody jumps in right away. We’ll go step-by-step through: The science behind why your heart spikes and your brain blanks during Q&A Why silence after a question is not a sign you’re failing The “5-Second Rule” and exactly how to use it feel your feet, exhale, and repeat the question How to handle curveball questions without rambling or bluffing What to do when you’re faced with a hostile challenge and how acknowledging, not attacking, is your best move The power of holding silence and letting your audience process, rather than rushing to fill the gap Why over-rehearsing answers can actually hurt you and how to draft a “response shape” instead A concrete prep move: spending just one hour drafting answers to the three questions that scare you most Simple ways to manage your energy so you’re ready for anything the Q&A throws at you Your challenge this week: write down the question that scares you most before your next presentation and draft the shape of your answer. Trust in the pause, and let your newfound confidence grow from the silence. Remember, progress always beats perfection, and your voice has the power to change the world. Let’s make your next Q&A your greatest strength! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do you actually lead yourself before you can lead others, and what does self-leadership have to do with confidence and authentic communication? In today’s episode, we’re digging deep into the idea that most of us don’t really have a communication problem — we have a self-leadership problem. You can’t speak with confidence if you don’t trust your own voice, and you’ll never lead a team until you can lead yourself. I’m Tim Newman, your host, and today I’m joined by the insightful Chip Scholz. Chip is a man of stories and craft, a long-time business and leadership coach, and the author of Every Dog Has Its Day. He’s a guy who has found lessons in everything from family conversations to unexpected detours, shaping pieces of maple in his woodshop, and recovering from major life challenges like a stroke. His reflections on craft and life show us how small, quiet moments can fundamentally change who we become and what we’re willing to let go of. In our conversation, Chip Scholz brings a wealth of experience, not only from decades of coaching top executives but also from a journey of personal transformation. We talk about the lessons he learned at the lathe, the dangers of “forcing the cut” both with wood and with people, and why being authentic is at the heart of real leadership. We go beyond the clichés why “being authentic” is so much more than a buzzword, and how most people actually get this concept wrong. Chip Scholz unpacks why most folks struggle to articulate what they truly want, and how getting honest feedback is a critical first step in transformation. We dig into some of the tough stuff like navigating 360 evaluations without spiraling into self-doubt, and recognizing the difference between companies that “weaponize” feedback versus those that use it for real growth. We walk through the kind of accountability that separates real leaders from those just going through the motions, and why actions always speak louder than words. We also hit on the transition from doing to being as you move into leadership roles, and the pitfalls of believing your own PR at the top. We also talk about the importance of reading and lifelong learning, why so many people stop reading books after college and what they’re missing by doing so. Chip Scholz shares his framework built around the 5 Cs: context, clarity, conditioning, choice, and character. We discuss generational differences, social skill development (or lack thereof), and how cycles in society shape our communication and sense of self. Not to mention, we tackle the link between self-awareness, emotional literacy, and communication confidence and why being able to name your emotions and own them is a foundational skill for any leader or speaker. Here’s what we cover in this episode: Why trusting your own voice is step one to speaking and leading with confidence The power of craft: lessons from woodturning and how forcing things rarely works What “self-leadership” and “authenticity” really mean with concrete, actionable examples How to get honest about what you want (and why most people can’t) Feedback, 360 evaluations, and using criticism for growth instead of shame The accountability gap: keeping your word, taking ownership, and building trust Transitioning from “doing” to “being” in leadership roles The value of reading, writing, and being a lifelong learner for leaders and communicators Chip Scholz’s 5 Cs framework for effective self-leadership Generational dynamics, societal cycles, and how history repeats itself in new ways Vulnerability, emotional vocabulary, and why self-awareness (not just confidence) powers great communication When confidence and preparation go hand in hand  and how everyone feels nervous (even us!) Practical advice for improving your speaking game, from reps to feedback to avoiding “death by PowerPoint” How social media, ego, and chasing attention can derail self-leadership and meaningful communication If you’re ready to reframe the way you think about leadership, confidence, and the voice you bring to the world, this episode is for you. Let’s do the work together because your voice has the power to change not just your world, but the world around you. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if the advice to "calm down" before a big presentation is actually making your nerves worse? In this episode of Speaking with Confidence, we challenge one of the most common myths about overcoming stage fright and explore why trying to force yourself into calm may be backfiring. As your host, Tim Newman—a recovering college professor turned communication coach—I’m here to help you master the art of showing up with confidence in every conversation that counts. Today, we’re zeroing in on nerves and adrenaline, and how the world’s top performers don’t eliminate these feelings—they learn to channel them. In this solo episode, I walk you through the surprising science behind nerves and performance, starting with the foundational Yerkes-Dodson curve from 1908, which shows that there’s a sweet spot between zero stress and too much stress; that middle ground is where you’re alert and loose, ready to perform at your best. I share why the standard advice to "relax" before a big moment doesn’t work and explain what elite athletes like Michael Phelps, Kobe Bryant, and Rafael Nadal do differently—their routines and mental strategies transform adrenaline from something to fight into something to fuel them. We’ll look at Harvard researcher Alison Wood Brooks’ study, which put the “calm down” approach head-to-head with a simple two-second reframe. You’ll learn why just saying “I am excited” out loud can shift your entire mindset and how pairing that phrase with your own personal pre-performance ritual can put you in the zone without fighting your biology. Throughout the episode, I discuss: The problem with trying to calm yourself before high-stakes moments 00:51 The science behind optimal performance and the role of the Yerkes-Dodson curve 01:18 Stories from elite athletes and their mental routines, including Michael Phelps’ visualization techniques and Kobe Bryant’s pregame rituals 04:06 The powerful impact of deliberate triggers and routines 05:20 Why your body interprets adrenaline based on the instructions you give it 06:12 Evidence from Alison Wood Brooks’ research on “I am excited” and public speaking performance 06:37 A step-by-step process to build your own routine and mindset shift 08:16 How to recognize your personal “sweet spot” for performance—not too much, not too little energy 10:02 Adapting techniques for introverts and extroverts 10:25 When to use these techniques (and when not to) 11:17 How to recover if you overshoot and get too nervous 11:52 Your weekly challenge to try the “I am excited” technique paired with your own trigger 12:52 Whether you’re gearing up for a board meeting, a big pitch, or simply want to own the next Zoom call, this episode will give you practical, science-backed tools to turn nerves into your competitive advantage. Because the goal isn’t less adrenaline—it's giving your body better instructions. Your voice has the power to change the world, and I’m excited to help you harness it. Timestamps: 00:00 Struggling with anxiety before meetings 04:10 Visualizing and rehearsing success 08:53 Handling pre-review nerves 11:05 Managing situational nerves Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever wondered whether “confidence” is really the key to becoming a great communicator or is something more important happening beneath the surface? In this episode of Speaking with Confidence, we’re challenging what it really means to find your voice, step up before you feel ready, and why confidence might not be the word we should be chasing after all. I’m Tim Newman, your host and recovering college professor turned communication coach. This week, I’m joined by Dr. Mickey Fitch Collins, leadership facilitator, speaker, and expert in helping organizations translate human skills like communication, empathy, and resilience into real-world impact. Mickey’s diverse background spans higher education, edtech, and corporate learning, and she brings both research and hands-on experience to the table. In this conversation, we dive deep into Mickey’s fascinating journey from being a teenage girl breaking into the male-dominated world of professional bass fishing (yes, you read that right!) to holding senior roles in academia and ultimately walking away at forty to rebuild her career from scratch. Along the way, Mickey discovered that public speaking isn’t just about commanding a stage, it's about storytelling, and storytelling is about relationships. We explore the formative power of speaking before you feel “ready,” how early public speaking experiences shaped Mickey’s life, and how standing out demographically meant she had to develop substance and real influence behind her voice. We unpack the vital distinction between confidence (what people see and measure externally) and self-efficacy (the inner belief in your ability to get things done) and why understanding this difference is a gamechanger. Mickey shares specific, research-backed building blocks for growing your own self-efficacy and how simple reflection and feedback can rapidly increase your poise and presence, whether you’re on stage or in the workplace. We discuss why confidence might get you in the room, but only competence and substance keep you there, and how storytelling and vulnerability open the door to authentic influence. You’ll also hear how she wrestled with the decision to leave a prestigious academic role and how to navigate major transitions in your own professional life. Here’s what we covered in this episode: Mickey’s unlikely entry into professional bass fishing as a 14-year-old girl in Chicago How fish stories shaped her love for public speaking and taught her to influence large (and skeptical!) audiences The hidden difference between confidence and self-efficacy and why you need both Building your skills: The four building blocks of self-efficacy and how you already use them (even if you don’t realize it) How competence and confidence fuel each other in a “dynamic duo” for both public speaking and career growth The transformative power of storytelling, including sharing vulnerable stories and the impact it has on relationship-building and influence Practical strategies for handling nerves, reframing fear, and using feedback to accelerate your own communication growth Why every role no matter your job description is a “sales” role rooted in authentic influence, not slick persuasion The stark differences Mickey saw between learning in higher ed and the workplace, and what it means for lifelong learning and adaptability Navigating transitions: leaving a high-profile academic post at midlife and finding new alignment with your values and purpose You’ll leave this episode with a new perspective on confidence, actionable steps to build your self-efficacy, and some unforgettable fish tales that prove everyone has stories worth sharing, especially you. Be sure to visit speakingwithconfidencepodcast.com to get your free ebook, “Top 21 Challenges for Public Speakers,” and register for our Formula for Public Speaking course. Remember: your voice has the power to change the world. Connect with Mickey: LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mickeyfitchcollins/ Website: https://www.learnit.com/mickey Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever left a meeting feeling like half your team understood you perfectly, while the other half looked completely lost? Why does strong communication click with some people but fall flat with others even when you’re saying the same thing? In this episode of Speaking with Confidence, I tackle exactly that question and share a crucial framework that has transformed my own communication style and helped hundreds of my coaching clients unlock breakthrough results at work. I’m Tim Newman, a recovering college professor turned communication coach and today I’m revealing why the “one great style” approach to communication is outdated and what you should do instead. Drawing from Thomas Erikson’s “Surrounded by Idiots,” I introduce the four core color-coded communication styles Driver (red), Connector (yellow), Analyst (blue), and Stabilizer (green) and show how identifying and adapting to these preferences is the real secret to becoming a confident, effective communicator and leader. This episode is all about practical skills, not theory. I break down each communication style with real-life examples from my days in the classroom and share why misfires between styles cause friction and misunderstandings. I explain what drives each type, what frustrates them, how they perceive other styles, and the small but powerful adjustments you can make to connect more effectively with anyone in the room. Several points were raised, including: Why your instinct to blame others for communication breakdowns is usually off-base The significance of Erikson’s four-color communication model, and how to spot each style in action The biggest myths about strong communication and why flexibility not perfection is key Deep-dives into the motivations, pain points, and gifts of Drivers (reds), Connectors (yellows), Analysts (blues), and Stabilizers (greens) Everyday strategies for leading and collaborating with each style, from email tweaks to one-on-one conversations The hidden dangers when overlooked team members silently disagree and how to uncover real opinions before it’s too late A practical, one-person, one-message assignment to practice speaking a “second language” on your team this week The conversation focused on moving beyond self-awareness to skillful adaptation recognizing your own style is only the start. The real growth comes from shifting your communication to meet others where they are, while still remaining true to yourself. Tune in to learn why talking like you’re right but listening like you’re wrong can change not just your conversations, but your impact as a leader. I’ll walk you through actionable steps to use this framework immediately, no personality quizzes required. Don’t forget to visit speakingwithconfidencepodcast.com for your free ebook and details about my Forming for Public Speaking course. Looking for progress, not perfection let’s get fluent in all four communication “languages” together! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever wondered why so many virtual presentations feel flat or why “death by PowerPoint” is still so common, even with all the tools and technology we have? In this episode of Speaking with Confidence, we dig into what it really takes to connect with an audience, both in-person and online, and how you can turn your presentations from forgettable to impactful right from the very first minute. My guest for this episode is Rick Altman, a presentation industry veteran with over two decades of experience, host of the world-renowned Presentation Summit, and author of the new book "Crush Your Next Virtual Presentation." Rick Altman has worked with hundreds of companies, been heard by tens of thousands of professionals, and read by millions looking for better results with their presentations. His expertise spans message crafting, design, software technique, and live delivery. We kick things off by addressing a frustration many of us share: If your audience can read your slides without you, why are you even there? Rick Altman dives into why content-heavy slides rob presentations of real human connection, especially in the virtual world. We talk about how easy-to-use technology can lead to bad habits like putting everything on a slide, using distracting animations, or letting AI do the creative thinking for you. Here’s what we covered in this episode: Why most presentations miss the mark and how to fix yours from minute one My journey from transparencies to podcasts, and Rick Altman’s background in publishing and presentations How advances in technology like PowerPoint and AI make bad presentations easier and how to resist the temptation Why slides should never serve as your handout and how to separate the two for real impact The value of simplicity in slides and notes less really is more How to practice and prepare so you stay present and connected, not glued to your script or slides The vital role of audio, camera connection, and grace in virtual presentations Tips for managing your attention and leveraging moderators or help during live web events Responsible and efficient uses of AI for research, handouts, and presentation prep Rick Altman’s behind-the-scenes look at the Presentation Summit, including its evolution, content, and how virtual events create new opportunities If you’re looking to up your game as a communicator whether on stage, in the boardroom, or over Zoom this episode will give you practical, battle-tested strategies to present with more confidence and real connection. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever walked out of a meeting or conversation certain you nailed your message only to discover later that almost no one actually understood or embraced what you said? In today’s episode, we’re exploring why being technically right or well-prepared isn’t always enough to truly connect, and unlocking the four-letter fix that can flip your communication from performance into genuine connection. I’m Tim Newman, a recovering college professor turned communication coach, and on Speaking with Confidence I’m dedicated to helping you develop the real-world soft skills like storytelling, public speaking, and authentic conversation that turn opportunity into results. In this solo episode, I dig deep into one of the distinctions that changed my approach to teaching, coaching, and communicating: the difference between broadcasting and connecting. Drawing from my personal journey and experiences in academic and corporate settings, I introduce a key framework that’s transformed my conversations: understanding why our confident delivery can often lead to missed messages, misunderstood intentions, and polite agreement with zero real impact.  Today is all about sharing actionable insights drawn from countless coaching sessions, classroom stumbles, and the wisdom of leaders like John Maxwell. Here’s what we’ll cover in this episode: The pitfalls of “broadcasting” your message, and why head-nods don’t always equal understanding or agreement 00:09 The four connection failures that sabotage effective communication: assumption, arrogance, indifference, and control 02:31 How seemingly innocuous behaviors, like assuming you know what people want or racing to fill gaps in conversation, prevent real connection 03:18 A mindset shift talk like you’re correct, but listen like you’re wrong that creates true bridges between perspectives 05:14 The FORM framework (Family, Occupation, Recreation, Message): how it breaks through small talk and builds authentic relationships 05:55 Real-life examples of what it looks like to match your pace to someone else’s world, instead of demanding they enter yours 07:18 An assignment for you to practice in your very next conversation, so connection becomes a consistent part of your communication toolkit 07:59 By the end of this episode, you’ll have a concrete script and mindset shift to help you move from being someone the room politely tolerates to someone people actually want around. Progress, not perfection, is the goal and every conversation is your chance to practice. Thanks for tuning in, and remember your voice has the power to change the world. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever wondered what it really takes to reinvent yourself in a brand-new culture, and how that experience can transform your confidence and communication? This week on Speaking with Confidence, I dive deep into this question with our incredible guest, Ana Denis, a public speaking and communication coach, TEDx organizer, and the brilliant author behind “Reinvento.” This episode is all about starting over, building your identity from the ground up, and the hidden challenges and surprising rewards of trying to fit in while staying authentically you. I had the privilege of speaking with Ana Denis, who shares her personal story of moving from Russia to the Netherlands, tackling cultural differences, and what it’s like learning to communicate sometimes literally in a whole new language and set of values. We dug into Ana Denis’s journey as both an entrepreneur and a newcomer, where she had to face the reality of feeling like a “professional idiot” (her words!), admitting you don’t know anything, and letting go of the ego to start learning from scratch. We talk about how language and cultural differences aren’t just logistical challenges they hit at the core of your sense of belonging and your identity. Ana Denis has been there, felt the friction between collectivist and individualist cultures, and had to let go of the comfort of the familiar to build a new home, both personally and professionally.  Some of what we cover in this episode: The shock of cultural differences even within Europe and how they challenge your worldview Why learning the local language goes far beyond practicality and is a gateway to true connection and trust Ana Denis’s personal journey of losing her safety net, building from scratch, and finding belonging in the expat community The role of asking questions, embracing not knowing, and letting go of ego when starting over Gendered societal messages and their impact on women’s confidence and willingness to speak up at work The danger of labels cultural, political, and personal and how they limit genuine human connection How to build real influence and trust, both as a speaker and as a newcomer in a different country The power of directness, consensus, and open dialogue in Dutch culture, and what we can learn from it The importance of active listening, curiosity, and putting relationships first regardless of status or background This conversation is packed with practical wisdom for anyone facing a big transition, working across cultures, or just wanting to show up with more clarity and confidence in their communication. If you’re ready to stop playing small, question the narratives you’ve been told, and actually reinvent how you show up, this episode is for you. We also talk about where you can find Ana Denis’s work, including her book “Reinvento” and the Reinvento Club for those ready to build communication skills or begin again in a new place. Tune in for heartfelt stories, actionable advice, and maybe a little push to take your own next bold step. Your voice matters and so does how you reinvent it. Connect with Ana: LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ana-denis/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIAZJzumdHkVbD5913kBQDA Website: https://anadenis.com   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever wondered why absorbing other people’s emotions seems to drain your energy, and yet rarely solves the problem at hand? In today’s episode of Speaking with Confidence, we’re diving into the real reason “feeling their pain” might actually be holding you back, and I’m sharing a simple, tactical move that works better and keeps you in control. I’m Tim Newman, your host, a recovering college professor turned communication coach. Through years of working with clients, students, and teams, I used to believe that being a great communicator meant soaking up everyone else’s emotions. I’d match their energy, carry their stress, and walk away completely depleted and still facing the same challenges. Sound familiar? It took me a long time and guidance from negotiation expert Chris Voss to realize that this approach was not only exhausting, it was also ineffective. In this episode, we explore the difference between emotional empathy where you feel what others feel and get swept away by it and tactical empathy, which is all about understanding others’ emotions without losing yourself in them. You’ll hear how Chris Voss, a former FBI hostage negotiator, used tactical empathy to defuse high-stakes situations by naming the emotion in the room with precision, not by absorbing it. We’ll walk through real examples from my own teaching days and coaching work, breaking down how simply labeling someone’s fear or frustration can disarm tension and open up productive conversations. I also point out the crucial final step that most people miss embracing silence after you drop your “label,” instead of rushing to explain or defend yourself. Here’s what you’ll learn in this episode: Why emotional empathy depletes your energy but rarely solves the root problem The neuroscience behind why naming an emotion helps people and yourself think more clearly How tactical empathy is different, and why it puts you in control The exact three-second “labeling” move: “It seems like…”, “It sounds like…”, “It looks like…” A breakdown of what makes a label effective versus what falls flat How to handle uncomfortable silences and why they’re key to making this work A simple homework assignment to practice this life-changing skill in your next challenging conversation By the end of this episode, you’ll be equipped with a powerful new approach for every situation where tension or defensiveness runs high without burning out in the process. Remember, progress, not perfection, is what moves us forward. Try out this tactical empathy tool this week and see how quickly your conversations shift. Your voice truly has the power to change the world. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do we actually bridge the generational gap in communication and empower younger leaders to show up with confidence? That’s exactly what we’re tackling in this episode of Speaking with Confidence. I’m Tim Newman, your host and communication coach, and today we’re diving deep into what it means to lead, learn, and grow not just as professionals, but as people who want to make a positive impact on those around us. With Gen Z and millennials set to dominate the workforce by 2030, most leaders still haven’t cracked the code on how to connect with and motivate them. We’re going to change that. Joining me is Robin Lewis, host of the Big Life podcast, leadership coach, transformational speaker, and business strategist. Robin is all about helping purpose-driven business owners lead with clarity, build with focus, and create organizations that truly last. He brings not just expertise, but real stories and actionable frameworks from his own journey growing, stumbling, and ultimately becoming a leader who helps others do the same. In our conversation, Robin shares powerful analogies drawn from his life as a new grandparent, reminding us how we all start life eager to learn, unafraid to fall, and willing to try again. We explore how that spirit is too often lost as we grow and what it takes to reclaim it as leaders. Together, we break down reasons why young adults sometimes forget how to communicate honestly, how bottling up ideas becomes learned behavior, and what leaders can do to reverse that cycle by making people feel seen, heard, and valued. Here’s what you’ll take away from this episode: Why reclaiming a childlike hunger for learning and risk-taking matters in leadership The critical role of being seen, heard, and valued in communication, no matter your age How communication breakdowns aren’t always generational they’re often personality-based Robin’s “Lead to Last” framework and how he developed it after hitting a wall in his own business What separates leaders who say they have purpose from those who truly live it The importance of clarity of self, overcoming limiting beliefs, and defining your core values How to mentor the next generation to think introspectively and with intention Strategies for repairing and learning from failure as both leaders and parents The impact of collaborating instead of competing and finding commonality before difference Practical applications of DISC and other personality tools for team growth and better communication Whether you lead a business, a team, or your family, this episode is packed with hard-earned wisdom and actionable steps to help you (and those you serve) become more authentic, resilient, and confident communicators. Thanks for joining us let’s keep building the kind of leadership that truly lasts. Connect with Robin: LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lewisrobin/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Robinlewis411/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/robinlewisteam Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ever found yourself promoted to a leadership position and suddenly realizing you have no idea how to build authority without losing the respect of your team? In this episode of Speaking with Confidence, I tackle one of the most challenging transitions you can face at work: moving from peer to manager. I'm Tim Newmana recovering college professor turned communication coachand today we're diving into what really happens when you go from being "one of the team" to leading the team. There’s no guest joining me this week; it’s just you and me unpacking the real obstacles and actionable solutions for new leaders navigating this tricky shift. We all know that being promoted is exciting but it can also be disorienting. One day, you’re sharing complaints over drinks, the next, you’re the one in charge, trying not to repeat the mistakes of managers you once criticized. I break down the hard truth: many companies get management promotions wrong 82% of the time, leaving you with the title, a small raise, and very little guidance on how to actually manage people without damaging relationships. That tension between being accessible and asserting real authority gets new managers stuck in what I call the “access trap.” In this episode, I share the three pillars of real authority, clarity, consistency, and accountability and explain why they matter more than being liked. I walk through four transformative shifts every new manager must make: setting and respecting boundaries, giving honest and direct feedback, using confident language, and tackling conflict early. Each shift comes with clear examples and advice for how to break out of the habits that quietly erode your credibility and relationships. Here’s what you’ll learn: Why pretending nothing has changed after your promotion only creates confusion The data behind why promoting top performers doesn’t always make sense for leadership roles How to avoid the “access trap” and be more than just a buddy with a title The three foundational elements of real authority (and what it’s not) The four skill shifts every new manager must practice: boundaries, feedback, language, and conflict Practical steps for having honest conversations that set a new tone for your team Why consistency is more important than charisma for building trust How to start small choose one shift and put it into practice this week If you’ve just made the leap into management, or you want to support someone who has, I promise this episode will leave you with clear, actionable steps you can use immediately. Remember, your former peers don’t need a friend wearing a manager’s badge, they need a leader who sets the standard with courage and clarity. Listen in and take the first step toward building authority that truly holds. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How much does the way you dress really impact your confidence and the way others see you? That’s the question we dive into in this episode of Speaking with Confidence. On today’s show, we’re tackling one of the most overlooked yet transformative aspects of communication: your appearance. We often talk about content, delivery, and presence when it comes to confident communication, but what about the impact of what we wear? Whether you’re stepping into a new job, leading a meeting, or just trying to level up your everyday look, your wardrobe can be a powerful ally in building your leadership perception and feeling your absolute best. Joining me for this conversation are Caden Broussard and Jinny Chen, co-founders of Cello, one of the largest styling companies serving professionals especially men during big life transitions. Their team of stylists partners with clients to help them dress with both confidence and executive presence, demystifying the connection between clothing, self-image, and professional results. We kicked things off by reflecting on a big realization: so many people struggle with style not because they lack fashion sense, but because it feels like a confidence problem. Caden Broussard shared how, despite working hard and achieving corporate success, feeling uncomfortable or inappropriately dressed could undermine their belief in themselves. Jinny Chen pointed out that most people reach for the same clothes because comfort breeds confidence, something confirmed by research, including fascinating studies on how what you wear can affect your performance and self-perception. Here’s what we covered in this conversation: Why style is really about confidence, not just fashion Instant first impressions, the “halo effect,” and scientific studies on performance and clothing Cultural challenges men face around asking for style advice Why transitions like promotions or new jobs often spark the need for a wardrobe rethink The three key elements anyone can adjust right now for a better perception How clothing fit impacts confidence more than you might think Why self-expression matters, and how to sneak it into a professional wardrobe The hidden challenges of dressing appropriately post-pandemic and in hybrid workplaces Psychological barriers to cleaning out your closet and why this step is crucial How Cello uses technology, including AI and professional stylists, for effortless, confidence-boosting style Tips for building outfits for every occasion, from formal to casual, and why “uniforms” can work both for and against you Whether you’re someone who’s always in a blue shirt (guilty as charged!), or you’re just looking for ways to feel more confident and make a positive impression, this episode will give you plenty to think about and some simple steps to act on right away. Connect with Caden & Jinny: Caden LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/caden-broussard-90985a90/ Jinny LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jinnychen/ Website: https://cellocloset.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hellocellocloset Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever wondered why things never really seem to get easier, no matter how much you improve? Why does every step of progress seem to bring a new kind of challenge? In this episode of Speaking with Confidence, I dig into the real role of difficulty in growth and communication and challenge the myth that hard things are just barriers standing in our way. I’m Tim Newman, a recovering college professor turned communication coach, and today I want to let you in on a lesson that took me much longer to learn than I care to admit: hard isn’t the enemy. It isn’t something to run from or wait out. In fact, hard is the very thing that filters out the competition, exposes what we really know, and drives the lasting growth we all want. Today we’re pulling wisdom from thinkers like John Maxwell and even some military wisdom to unpack how our mindset about challenges determines whether we stall or move forward. I open up about my own history of waiting for the moment when things would stop being difficult and how everything changed when I realized that comfort doesn’t arrive on schedule, and that growth lives inside the struggle itself. In this episode, I cover: Why most people treat difficulty as a bad sign and the mindset shift to seeing it as a filter, not a barrier The military’s “embrace the suck” philosophy and why the difficulty never really ends (it just changes shape) John Maxwell’s ideas about evaluated experience and how simply enduring hard things isn’t enough you have to reflect The danger zone: what happens when difficulties pile up and why most people fall apart not because things get harder, but because their relationship to hard doesn’t change The real perspective shift: seeing difficulty as proof you’re in the arena, not as something that’s being done to you Why growth only happens in discomfort and how to train yourself to look for the lesson instead of resenting the pain Three practical ways to change your relationship with hard things right now, from reframing setbacks to learning how to welcome discomfort as a signal you’re on the right track If you’re tired of waiting for things to get easier or wondering if you’re doing something wrong just because you’re struggling, this episode is for you. Let’s shift your mindset, reframe your experience with difficulty, and get you confidently moving through the hard stuff, not around it. Remember: the people who win aren’t the ones who found a shortcut they’re the ones who got comfortable being uncomfortable. Progress, not perfection. Let’s get to work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if the secret to real confidence in communication isn’t about having all the right answers, but about asking better questions? Welcome back to Speaking with Confidence! I’m Tim Newman, your host and a recovering college professor turned communication coach. In this episode, we dig deep into the misconception that confidence means certainty and flip the script to show how the best communicators are defined not by what they know, but by how curious they are. Joining me today is Michael Ashford, a dynamic communication and leadership coach, longtime marketing executive, and two-time TEDx speaker. Michael Ashford is passionate about empowering people to communicate in ways that traditional education rarely touches, helping us inspire change, drive action, and resolve conflict more effectively in our lives. Together, we explore Michael Ashford’s journey from nearly failing out of college as an engineering major to finding his true path in journalism, a shift that taught him the importance of aligning passion, curiosity, and personal fulfillment. He shares how letting go of other people’s expectations and finding his own voice became foundational to his confidence and success. Here’s what we cover in this episode: The false belief that confidence requires always being right and what true confidence really looks like Michael Ashford's honest story of personal and academic failure, and how curiosity led him to a career aligned with his values The pivotal role of communication skills in every aspect of life and leadership Why the education system fails us by prioritizing certainty over curiosity and the ability to ask better questions How to break out of the sunk cost fallacy in careers, relationships, and heated debates The impact of information overload and social media on our ability to trust, listen, and connect The practical power of curiosity how asking more questions shifts conversations, builds trust, fosters empathy, and increases genuine confidence Tips for anyone wanting to be a better communicator today: ask more questions, get curious about your own motivations, and embrace the “power of the pause” before responding How true introspection and questioning our own beliefs lays the foundation for alignment, fulfillment, and lasting confidence This episode is packed with real talk, actionable strategies, and stories you can relate to whether you want to communicate better at work, defuse conflicts at home, or just find your own unique voice. Dive in, and discover how you can become the curious, confident communicator you’re meant to be. Connect with Michael: LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michaeldashford/      Website: https://michaelashford.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michaeldashford   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@michaeldashford    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever sat through a meeting and wondered why the loudest voice in the room seems to dominate yet rarely drives any real influence? In this episode of Speaking With Confidence, I’ll answer a question that impacts every professional gathering: If it’s not the loudest voice that wins the room, what actually does? I’m Tim Newman, a recovering college professor turned communication coach, and today I’m pulling back the curtain on what really makes someone the most influential person in the room. Spoiler: It’s not volume, and it’s not vocabulary. After years in boardrooms, classrooms, and meetings of every kind, I’ve seen firsthand and struggled through myself the pitfalls of overcomplicating messages, hiding behind jargon, and talking just to fill the silence. The result? You risk becoming background noise, no matter how many slides or big words you pack in. Today’s episode is all about becoming the person who can say the one thing everyone is thinking but can’t quite put into words. I’ll walk you through research-backed truths on attention spans, the brutal math of memory retention, and the real cost of poor communication in the workplace. We’ll talk about why clarity is the most valuable currency you can bring to a group, and how being a clarifier trumps being the show-off or the non-stop talker every single time. I’m sharing the three habits that will make you the clarifier in any room, and you’ll walk away with tools you can use in your very next meeting. Here’s what you’ll learn in this episode: Why the loudest person is rarely the most influential and what actually creates influence The attention span cliff: what happens at minute 15 and why 18 minutes is a magic number The science of memory retention and why going long costs you credibility The “8th grade rule” for simplifying your message The staggering cost of poor communication in organizations Three habits to make you the architect of any conversation: the two second pause, the one sentence summary, and the clarifying question Practical examples and questions you can use to shift from noise-maker to problem-solver instantly If you’ve ever left a meeting frustrated because you didn’t feel heard or wondered why your great idea didn’t seem to stick, this episode is for you. Join me to learn how being a clarifier, not a commentator, will make you the most influential person in every room you enter. And remember: You don’t need a new personality, just a handful of simple tactical switches to start commanding attention and guiding conversations with confidence. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What’s really holding you back from being a confident, impactful communicator could it be less about your words and more about truly understanding yourself? Welcome back to Speaking with Confidence! I’m Tim Newman, and in this episode, we dig deep into the heart of communication not just the techniques and the tips, but the self-awareness that’s at the foundation of how you show up and connect with others. Today, I’m joined by Sandy Gerber, a powerhouse communication coach, emotional intelligence trainer, TEDx speaker, and the award-winning author of Emotional Magnetism. Sandy’s journey from outward business success to a reckoning with personal fulfillment will resonate with anyone who’s ever felt their “on paper” life didn’t match up with how things felt inside. We kicked things off by asking the big question: is it really your communication skills that need fixing, or could it be a lack of self-awareness that’s clouding your conversations with others? Sandy shares a pivotal moment in her life, when, despite all the trappings of success, she felt like a fraud because her personal relationships weren’t thriving. That realization kicked off a decade-long exploration into what makes relationships at home and at work genuinely successful. We talk about how so many of us are “winging it” when it comes to communication, borrowing strategies from family or the workplace without understanding our own internal dialogue. Sandy opens up about learning from her failures, seeking out wisdom from luminaries like John Maxwell and Wayne Dyer, and ultimately developing her framework of emotional magnetism, the idea that we’re each driven by core emotional needs that shape our decisions and interactions. Here’s what we covered: The difference between communication problems and self-awareness problems Sandy’s journey from outward success to confronting personal dissatisfaction Why “looking successful” isn’t the same as “feeling successful” The role of emotional magnetism in shaping our choices and relationships How to identify and honor your and others’ core emotional motivators The pitfalls of labeling others (and yourself) by behavior rather than by motivations Why authentic connection and empathy are built on understanding “why” Tools for regulating your emotions in high-stress moments (the EQ Switch) The neuroscience behind naming your emotions and calming your nervous system Recognizing and addressing emotional disengagement (“quiet cracking”) in the workplace The fundamental importance of intentional pausing and reflection as a communicator Actionable body language tips to look more confident and approachable (“the E trick”) The life-changing impact of choosing your first and last thoughts each day Why doing the work on yourself is non-negotiable for genuine leadership and influence This episode is all about moving from surface-level techniques to deep transformation so you can communicate, connect, and lead with real confidence. Connect with Sandy: LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sgerber/     Website: https://sandygerber.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sandy_gerber_official/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@ConnectedConversationsSG    Magnetic Communication podcast: https://sandygerber.com/podcast/ Podcast Award Voting: https://www.womenpodcasters.com/magnetic-communication Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever wondered how some people seem effortlessly articulate, making every word count, while others struggle to get their point across? In this episode of Speaking with Confidence, I break down exactly what it takes to become that person the one others listen to, respect, and remember by following a simple 21-day system. I'm Tim Newman, a recovering college professor turned communication coach, and I'm on a mission to help you discover the three foundational habits that can transform your speaking skills with no charisma required. Today, I’ll walk you through my step-by-step approach to building articulation as a skill, not a talent. Forget what you think you know about natural-born communicators. Together we’ll prove that anyone can learn to command a room and get results. We start by facing the real costs of poor communication, not just the $2 trillion it costs US businesses each year, but the quiet daily losses: fumbled meetings, muddled emails, and missed chances to show your worth. Then, I’ll guide you through each week of the system, designed so you can practice, record your progress, and see tangible clarity, confidence, and control develop day by day. Here’s what we cover in this episode: Why articulation isn’t a talent, but a trainable, measurable skill if you use a structured approach The silent tax of poor communication in your professional life, and how it shows up in lost opportunities Week 1: Building clarity through “visual nouns” learning to paint pictures instead of offering empty abstractions Week 2: Leading with impact by putting your bottom line up front (BLUF), so your audience hears your message first, not buried in context Week 3: Commanding the room through staccato phrasing and confidence-boosting pauses, so you sound thoughtful, not rushed Practical, daily exercises for each habit, including rewriting emails, reframing project descriptions, and practicing presence in meetings Why recording yourself at the beginning and end of this journey is proof of progress, not perfection The ultimate takeaway: how to reach for concrete words, serve your conclusion before your context, and master the power of the pause Whether you want to stand out in meetings, make your emails count, or simply stop feeling like you’re speaking “in clouds,” this episode delivers the tools and the mindset you need to level up starting today. Don’t wait to feel ready. Press record, follow the system, and watch your communication transform in just 21 days. And remember: talk like you’re correct, listen like you’re wrong. For more resources, grab your free eBook “Top 21 Challenges for Public Speakers and How to Overcome Them” at speakingwithconfidencepodcast.com and check out my Formula for Public Speaking course. Your voice truly can change the world. Let's make sure it gets heard. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if the way you sound matters just as much if not more than the words you say? We often believe that effective communication starts and ends with content, but in today’s episode, we dig beneath the surface: how can aligning your voice with your authentic self change the way you connect with others? I’m Tim Newman, and this week on Speaking with Confidence, I invited Wolfe Lanier to join me for a truly eye-opening conversation. Wolfe is a Somatic Voice practitioner and researcher, currently completing his MFA in Voice Studies at the Royal Central School of Speech and Drama. His journey has taken him from the mountains of Appalachia, through New York’s corporate coaching world, into deep somatic practice all fueled by a central, fascinating question: why is there often a gap between who we are and how we come across? Wolfe shared his own story of performance anxiety, stage fright, and that all-too-relatable feeling of disconnect between inner worth and outward expression. We explored how self-talk, ego, and even physical tension in the body shape the sound of our voice and how often, what’s holding us back in communication is much deeper than we realize. Here’s what we covered in this episode: Why your voice often reveals more than your words Wolfe’s personal journey from stage fright to vocal research The connection between self-talk, inner worth, and how you sound The science and experience of “vocal congruence” How culture, accent, and history influence voice and acceptance The role of somatic practice and releasing physical tension Why most people are their own worst critics and how to break the cycle The interplay between ego, perfectionism, and authentic communication Generational shifts in communication styles and expectations Step-by-step advice for building confidence and congruence in your voice If you’ve ever wished your voice could reflect your real confidence, or you’ve struggled to feel truly comfortable speaking up, this episode will give you a fresh perspective and practical steps to start bridging the gap between who you are and how you come across. Connect with Wolfe: LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wolfe-lanier-1186a61b/ Website: https://www.wolfelanier.com   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wolfe.lanier/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you making your message clear or just making it longer? In today’s episode, we’re tackling one of the most common myths in professional communication: that sounding like a CEO means drowning in buzzwords and complex sentences. In reality, the strongest leaders use a different formula: simplicity, conciseness, and real confidence. I’m Tim Newman, your host for Speaking with Confidence. As a former college professor turned communication coach, I’ve seen firsthand how even the smartest folks can accidentally sound junior not because they lack expertise, but because we’re all trained to value complexity over clarity. In this episode, I’m breaking down the exact framework I use with executives who want to sound like leaders and get results. It’s just me, Tim Newman, sharing straight talk and some proven strategies you can start applying right now. We’ll look at why so many ambitious professionals default to overwrought, jargon-heavy language, and why that tendency actually undercuts your credibility in the boardroom. I’ll share stories from real pitch meetings, explain the “eighth grade rule” for clarity, and walk through practical techniques for making your message unmistakable. You’ll also hear why brevity is your best friend, how every extra sentence waters down your message, and how CEOs wield silence as a tool for authority. We’ll explore what true confidence sounds like (hint: it’s not loud or domineering), and I’ll walk you through the “certainty principle” talk like you’re correct, listen like you’re wrong. You’ll learn to spot and banish the hedges and caveats that sneak into everyday speech. I’ll wrap things up with actionable drills and real-world examples, including rewriting an email and running your own words through the simple, concise, and confident filter. In this episode, you’ll discover: Why most people accidentally sound junior at work and how to break the habit The three-part formula for executive presence: simple, concise, and confident The “eighth grade rule” for clarity and why it matters Practical exercises to strip jargon and complexity from your communication How brevity and silence signal credibility The difference between true confidence and performance How to replace hedges with certainty and why vulnerability is part of real confidence Tools you can start using tomorrow to make every word count If you’re ready to stop hiding behind big words and long explanations, and start being understood, this episode is your playbook. Remember, your voice has real power when you use it with intention. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if the comfort you feel isn’t a sign you’re doing things right, but a warning that you’ve started losing ground? In this week’s episode of Speaking with Confidence, we dig deep into the real meaning of comfort and the high cost it can carry through the extraordinary journey of my guest, Said Eshaghi. If you’ve ever found yourself stuck in a rut or held back by a life that feels “just comfortable enough,” this is an episode you can’t afford to miss. I’m Tim Newman, your host, a recovering college professor turned communication coach and today we’re exploring the powerful, and sometimes dangerous, role comfort can play in our personal growth and professional transformation. This isn’t just another episode about communication tactics. Today, we’re talking about the crucial things that happen before you ever open your mouth, moments that shape your confidence, your ability to adapt, and ultimately, your life’s direction. Said Eshaghi is the founder of Lead Beyond, a Maxwell Leadership certified team member, DISC consultant, and author of the new book Escape from Comfort. Said’s story begins in war-torn Iran, where, as a young teen, he and his brother faced a life-altering decision that would forever change the trajectory of their lives. From a perilous escape across dangerous borders to rebuilding his life in Sweden, rising to become a world-class biochemist, and eventually confronting the pitfalls of unchecked ambition, Said’s journey is a masterclass in resilience, adaptability, and the power of honest reflection. Here’s what we covered in this episode: The harrowing journey that took Said Eshaghi from his home in Iran, through Turkey, and finally to Sweden and how the decisions made during that trek shaped his perspective on trust and survival. Surviving trauma as a child, and why sometimes the things left unsaid are just as important to your survival as what you do say. How positive thinking and the pressure to excel even in subjects you hate can be both a survival mechanism and a potential weakness. The life-changing impact of a compassionate teacher, and how that experience informs the way Said Eshaghi now helps others struggling to express themselves. The challenges of finding your voice in a new country and language, including the role that trust plays in overcoming cultural and communication barriers. Lessons learned from the world of academia why top performers in STEM and high-pressure fields often fail to communicate outside their technical “bubble,” and the difference a great communicator can make. The concept of “mind laundering”: how seemingly harmless persuasion, mixed with personal agendas, can manipulate even the most well-intentioned people and how to recognize the signs before it’s too late. The dangers of unchecked ego and accidental growth, and how losing your sense of purpose can cause even the most successful individuals to go astray. Said Eshaghi’s proprietary FAR framework and how it helps people navigate transitions (and uncomfortable conversations) to move from survival to leadership and fulfillment. How to spot the one degree shift that can, over time, take you miles away from your intended path and what to do if you realize you’ve drifted. Why personal growth, reflection, and a purpose bigger than yourself are critical not just to your own development, but to your capacity to help others in a meaningful way. You’ll also hear us discuss Said Eshaghi’s new book, Escape from Comfort, and how honest reflection on life’s turning points is the key to escaping the “trap” of a comfortable but unfulfilling existence. If you’re in your 20s and feeling directionless, or maybe you’re older and questioning whether your comfort is holding you back, this episode will give you the perspective and practical steps you need to start uncomfortable but ultimately transformative conversations with yourself. Ready to move beyond comfort and toward the life (and impact) you were meant for? Dive into this conversation and let’s start navigating the transitions together. Connect with Said: LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/said-eshaghi/ Website: https://saideshaghi.com     Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/said.eshaghi.9 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ever walked out of a meeting replaying the moment you got interrupted or worse, wondered if there’s anything you could have done differently? If you’ve ever felt powerless in those situations, you’re not alone, and today’s episode is here to give you specific tools to reset those dynamics immediately. This week on Speaking with Confidence, I’m tackling a scenario many of us know all too well: a coworker disrespects you in front of the group, and all eyes are on you to see what you’ll do next. Most people default to one of two “losing” moves: shrink away or snap back. Both give control away, and neither actually solves the real problem. What’s really going on isn’t a confidence gap, it’s about perceived cost. In the workplace, disrespect thrives when it’s cheap for the other person. My goal today is to show you how to make sure crossing your boundaries becomes expensive. I’m breaking down the dynamics we so often encounter but rarely address directly. I’ll walk you through the hidden calculations your coworkers are making, and I’ll share three phrases that shift the power dynamic without turning things into a confrontation. Here’s what I cover in this episode: Why most responses to workplace disrespect—shrinking away or snapping back—don’t work, and what’s really happening in the silence after you’ve been interrupted The “perceived cost” principle and how others assess whether it’s worth it to disrespect you The first phrase: “I’m going to stop you right there,” how and why it works, and the importance of delivering it calmly and without qualifiers A real-world example of this phrase in action from a sports sponsorship meeting The second phrase: “That’s not what I said,” is designed to halt sneaky reframes and backhanded dominance moves, and how to effectively use it to reclaim accuracy and credibility How to prevent diluting your response and exactly what to do after using the phrase The third phrase: “I’ll need you to handle that differently next time,” for those chronic, ambiguous behaviors that are hard to call out but undermine your authority and effectiveness The importance of focusing forward, stating expectations, and not getting lured into relitigating old behavior Why the delivery, calm, flat, matter-of-fact is as important as the words themselves How all three phrases work as a simple system to block nearly every kind of workplace disrespect The real driver beneath all three: shifting the math so it’s not worth it for others to cross your boundaries I wrap up with a practical challenge for you: choose the phrase that fits your life the best, and practice it out loud so you’re ready the moment you need it. Progress, not perfection, is always our goal. Stick around for some free resources if you want to keep leveling up your communication skills! Remember, your voice really does have the power to change everything, especially when you use it with clarity and confidence. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever wondered if you’re missing the clues that are pointing you to your true purpose? On this episode of Speaking with Confidence, we tackle one of the most important questions anyone can ask: What if your unique design isn’t something you have to invent, but something that’s already waiting to be discovered in the signals of everyday life? I’m Tim Newman, and today we dig deep into the art and science of finding and living your purpose, with the help of a truly fascinating guest, Caleb Matthews. Caleb Matthews is the founder of The SeeLink, a renowned speaker in the spiritual strategy space, and the creator of the SSB method (spirit, soul, and body). With two decades of experience helping thousands decode the hidden signals in their dreams, personal history, and daily frustrations, Caleb Matthews brings insight from new age festivals to meeting rooms with government leaders, and his radio broadcasts have reached millions across Africa. In our conversation, we unpack what it really means to have a “DNA of Design,” why so many people struggle to interpret their own purpose, and the crucial role that our spirit, not just our mind or body, plays in guiding us. Caleb Matthews shares his own remarkable journey from practicing speeches with stuffed animals to speaking at a Kenyan orphanage at 18, which was a life-altering lesson in gratitude and the power of perspective. We explore why Western culture often sidelines the spiritual side of ourselves, and how reawakening it can be a powerful anchor, especially in times of crisis. We also get very practical: how can you start recognizing everyday signals and “dots” that point toward your calling? Caleb Matthews offers simple strategies, including the importance of writing down and reflecting on your dreams which, he argues, are not just random brain static, but coded messages from your deeper self (or even the divine). Some of the things we covered in this episode include: Caleb Matthews’s unique method for discovering purpose through spirit, soul, and body The transformative experience of speaking in Africa and what it taught about gratitude How Western society tends to diminish the role of spirit in personal growth and why that matters The essential practice of recognizing and interpreting dreams as guides for your life Specific reasons why most people miss the clues to their purpose by rushing from A to Z The importance of staying connected to awe, wonder, and childlike curiosity in adulthood The dangers of stuffing down conscience and emotion and how to open up again How who you surround yourself with (the five people you see most) shapes your identity and fulfillment The “three Cs” of construct, conform, and contract in self-development Practical tips on dream journaling and the first question to ask when interpreting your dreams The significance of safeguarding your senses in a noisy, social media-driven world Lessons learned from speaking across more than a dozen countries: every audience is different, yet fundamentally the same If you’ve ever wondered where your purpose is hiding or how to listen to your life for clues you might be missing this episode will give you both inspiration and clear steps to move forward. Plus, Caleb Matthews shares how you can take his free “DNA of Design” quiz at calebmatthews.net to get started on your own journey toward discovering your design type. I hope this conversation challenges and empowers you to look deeper, listen closer, and take the next step in living out your unique calling. Connect with Caleb: Website: https://www.calebmatthews.net   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theseelink/    YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheSeeLink   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/caleb.matthews.334/   X: https://x.com/TheSeeLink Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever wondered if the classic “sandwich method” for delivering feedback (compliment, criticism, compliment) actually works, or if it’s causing more harm than good? In today’s episode of Speaking with Confidence, we’re tackling a management myth that’s been passed down for generations, but quietly erodes trust and sours relationships in the workplace. I’m Tim Newman, a former college professor turned communication coach, and I’ve seen countless managers, including myself, reach for this tried-and-true technique in hopes of softening the sting of tough feedback. But here’s the uncomfortable truth: our teams see it coming from a mile away, and the result isn’t motivation or clarity, it's confusion, distrust, and a growing reluctance to believe any positive feedback we share. In this episode, I dig into why the sandwich method fails everyone involved, and introduce you to Tim Elmore’s ALAG framework, a modern, honest, and far more effective way to have those hard conversations without burning trust in the process. While there’s no guest today, I’ll share a real-world story from my own experience to show you how this framework works in practice. We’ll talk about why the sandwich method was created to protect managers’ comfort more than employees’ growth, and how it ends up poisoning praise, confusing communication, and eroding the very trust managers hope to build. Then, I’ll walk you step-by-step through the ALAG framework: Ask, Listen, Empathize, and Guide. Each step is designed to break the pattern of defensiveness, invite genuine conversation, and move your team forward with both compassion and clarity. In this episode, you’ll hear: A breakdown of what actually happens inside a “sandwich” feedback conversation—and why it so often backfires The invisible ways trust is eroded conversation by conversation, even if you don’t see it happening Why opening with curiosity instead of conclusions instantly changes the tone and outcome How to practice genuine active listening instead of debating or rehearsing your next response The critical but overlooked role of empathy why it’s not agreement, and how to avoid compassion fatigue as a manager The power of the word “and” in balancing empathy with accountability How to gently guide toward action and clarity instead of shoving someone toward your standards A real-life example of helping a student navigate a tough decision with grace, using ALAG instead of empty praise Why being a better leader is about building character, not just managing discomfort Finally, I’ll challenge you to try the ALAG approach the next time you need to have a difficult conversation, and explain why real growth happens when you risk showing up with presence and honesty. Remember, we’re not aiming for perfection; we’re aiming for progress, every single day. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How can technically brilliant professionals turn their expertise into influence and success in the workplace? That's the question we dive into on this episode of Speaking with Confidence. I’m Tim Newman, a former college professor who’s become a communication coach, and I know from experience that technical skills will get you hired, but communication is what gets you noticed and promoted. We see too many talented people missing out on opportunities because they haven’t developed the soft skills that build trust and win work. That's why I sat down with Ken Harms, an advisor, speaker, and author of "Building Trust, Winning Work," to unpack exactly why soft skills are the critical difference maker. Ken brings over 40 years of experience observing technically skilled folks stumble not because of lack of knowledge, but because of an inability to connect, communicate, and build authentic relationships. In our discussion, we tackle the persistent gap in our education system that leaves graduates with excellent technical training but few tools for powerful interaction. Ken shares research from the Carnegie Institute: a staggering 85% of future earnings stem from your ability to communicate and lead rather than strictly from technical know-how. We go deep on the root causes of this soft skills gap, from education to workplace culture, and why so many people resist improvement, even when feedback could dramatically accelerate their careers. Ken talks through his experience with "doer-seller" models in industries like construction explaining why public speaking, storytelling, and, importantly, listening with confidence must be learned and practiced intentionally, not left to chance. We cover actionable ways to prepare for meetings and interviews, showing that confidence is really about preparation and client focus, not just charisma. Here’s what we covered in this episode: Why technical skills alone aren’t enough to succeed and get promoted The education system’s failure to teach communication, public speaking, or relationship-building Doer-seller dynamics in architecture, engineering, and construction fields The difference between speaking with confidence and listening with confidence, including Ken’s WAIT (Why Am I Talking?) framework How to prepare for meetings and client interactions by researching and planning thoughtful questions Reframing sales as service and why this matters to younger generations The enduring power of face-to-face meetings and practical ways to create trust digitally Likability, Competence, and Trust: the three professional hurdles and why likability is often the biggest obstacle for new grads The intersection (and collision) between authenticity and professionalism Real talk about workplace attire, first impressions, and why they still matter The importance of teamwork, collaboration, and how group skills learned in sports or competitions apply to the workplace Why mentorship matters and how both young professionals and seasoned leaders must meet each other halfway Ken’s actionable advice for technically brilliant but invisible young professionals: get training, practice relentlessly, and seek out opportunities to shine By the end of this conversation, you’ll have a full picture of how soft skills can elevate your technical expertise so you can speak, serve, sell, and lead with real impact. Connect with Ken: Website: https://kenharms.com   LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kenneth-harms-12b56629/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever wondered why some presentations are instantly forgettable while others stay with you for weeks, even months? In this episode of Speaking with Confidence, I dig into the surprising science and strategies behind messages that stick, and how the secret might just be your story, not your slides. I’m Tim Newman, recovering college professor turned communication coach, and today I want to shatter a misconception: that confident speakers are just born with it. In reality, the best speakers aren’t those with loud personalities or endless credentials; they’re the ones who know how to use storytelling to connect, build trust, and inspire action. I’m unpacking the game-changing research on narrative, why audiences remember stories 22 times more than facts, and the counterintuitive way to earn authority (hint: it’s not by leading with your résumé). I pull back the curtain on the real mechanics of storytelling, the “show, don’t tell” principle, and why sharing your mistakes can make you instantly more credible. You’ll hear about my own most embarrassing moment on stage, the neuroscience behind “neural coupling,” and practical tips you can use right away to transform your next presentation. I walk you through step by step on how to rewrite your stories for maximum impact, avoid the biggest storytelling mistakes, and end with actionable takeaways that tie your stories back to your main message. Here’s what you’ll learn in this episode: Why telling stories activates your audience’s entire brain—and why that matters The research that proves stories build trust and authority faster than credentials Why sharing a personal setback in your first 60 seconds is often the smartest move The difference between telling and showing, with concrete examples How to audit and edit your stories to make them vivid and memorable The one sentence every story needs to tie back to your main point Three mistakes most speakers make when telling stories—and how to fix them A weekly challenge: how to find, craft, and deliver a powerful story from your own life Whether you’re selling, teaching, leading, or just want to show up more powerfully in everyday conversations, this episode will give you the blueprint for becoming a more memorable, trusted, and confident speaker. Remember, your voice has the power to change the world. Let's start building that confidence, one real story at a time. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How much of what’s holding you back is really about your emotional habits rather than your skills? On today’s episode of Speaking with Confidence, we get into the heart of emotional discipline, exploring the powerful concept of emotional sobriety and how mastering your emotions is a key to excelling not just in communication, but in every area of life. I’m Tim Newman, and in this episode, I’m joined by Dr. Andrea Vitz, a leading expert on emotional sobriety, best-selling author, keynote speaker, TEDx presenter, and president and co-founder of Lifted Academy. Andrea brings years of experience as a chiropractor and coach and is acclaimed for her work helping thousands break free from destructive emotional habits. She’s known for her revolutionary “reps-based” approach to training emotional maturity and has two new leadership books coming out this year. We dive deep into the real distinction between high performance and emotional maturity, how so many of us in high-pressure roles perform at a high level on the outside but remain stuck in immature emotional patterns on the inside. Andrea shares her own story of reaching a turning point at age 30 and realizing that true growth required retraining the way she responded emotionally rather than just pushing through or pretending to be above it all. We also unpack: The difference between your ‘why’ and your purpose, and why knowing both is crucial for impact and fulfillment How to create a culture of emotional safety at home and at work The science of emotional habits and why you can feel powerless to change until you intervene at the cellular level The self-centeredness trap and how to break the cycle of taking everything personally Why true leadership starts with internal mastery regardless of your age or status How to accelerate maturity in young people, and why emotional skills matter as much as academic achievement Andrea’s method for uncovering your emotional triggers and developing emotional composure Real strategies for forgiveness, letting go of the past, and reclaiming wasted energy The role of value and investment in personal transformation—why people who pay for change get the best results Personal stories of failure, growth, and using our biggest struggles to serve others Continuous improvement: our own blind spots, financial worth, and ongoing growth as coaches and humans If you’ve ever wondered why you keep falling into the same conflicts, why you can’t let go of certain feelings, or how to truly “show up” with confidence in every area of your life, this episode packs in hard-won wisdom, practical tools, and personal vulnerability. You’ll walk away with a deeper understanding of how emotional discipline can change everything—and a roadmap for getting started. Join me and Dr. Andrea Vitz for a revealing, actionable conversation that has the power to completely reframe your approach to communication, relationships, and self-mastery. Connect with Andrea: Website: https://liftedacademy.com/home Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drandreavitz   LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/andreavitz/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/yourlevelheadeddoc Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever wondered why so many people quit when they’re so close to breaking through not because they lack talent, but because the journey feels so much harder than they expected? In this episode, we’re getting to the bottom of what I call the “Great Gap” , that tough stretch between being excited about a new goal and actually getting good at it. I’m Tim Newman, and in this episode of Speaking with Confidence, I’m diving into one of the biggest reasons talented people fail to achieve their ambitions: not understanding that the discomfort, setbacks, and resistance along the way are normal and even necessary for growth. I draw from both my experience as a communication coach and powerful research from Valerie Burton to offer actionable tools you can use the next time you feel like giving up. We break it all down today, why grit isn’t a personality trait you either have or you don’t, but a decision made in the moments just after you want to quit. I introduce two frameworks that will help you keep going even when the road ahead looks impossible: the “Internal Auditor” method to challenge your negative self-talk, and the “Next Play Mentality,” a tool you can use to keep moving when you’re tempted to get stuck in setbacks. Here’s what I cover in this episode: Why friction and discomfort are not signs you’re on the wrong path, but evidence that you’re growing, and why competent people often get addicted to comfort instead of progress. How to build your own “Internal Auditor” to examine the facts instead of falling into catastrophic thinking, using concrete drills to challenge the quitting words your brain offers up. Valerie Burton’s research on resilience and her practical shortcut for getting out of a negative spiral. The “Next Play Mentality” why elite athletes and top performers bounce back quickly, and how you can use a 60-second rule to turn setbacks into forward momentum. The biological reasons we get stuck analyzing failures and how taking immediate action sends a powerful message to your mind that you’re still in the game. Why you should aim for progress, not perfection, and how to finally survive the “Great Gap” between excitement and mastery. If you’re looking for real systems to keep you in the game when it gets tough, this episode is for you. Plus, I’ll tell you how to grab your free eBook, The Top 21 Challenges for Public Speakers and How to Overcome Them, and share how you can register for my Formula for Public Speaking course. Let’s get started because your voice has the power to change the world. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What’s really holding you back from communicating with confidence, and is it possible you’re not as stuck as you think? In this episode of Speaking with Confidence, I dive deep into the heart of what it means to show up authentically and powerfully in your business and your life. We’ll tackle the challenge so many solo business owners face: feeling overwhelmed, second-guessing their abilities, and getting bogged down by tasks that don’t truly move the needle. Today, I’m joined by Sarah Pitts, an international bestselling author and seasoned business development consultant with over 30 years of coaching experience. Sarah is known for helping solo entrepreneurs break free from overwhelm using her signature potent productivity method. She’s a deep thinker, a master strategist, and frankly, one of the most insightful communicators I know. During our conversation, Sarah and I explored why exceptionally capable people often fall into the trap of doing everything themselves. We discuss how it becomes difficult to identify what makes us truly great when we’re juggling so many roles, most of which, as Sarah points out, are actually full-time jobs for other people! We share our own stories of letting go, including the struggle with trust that comes from tough experiences with delegation and outsourcing. Sarah takes us into the concept of the “belief gap”, that space where a lack of self-trust not only makes us hesitant, but actually clouds the way others perceive us. We break down how people sense authenticity and confidence on a level that’s deeper than words, and why showing up with genuine self-trust is the key to connection and business growth. We get into the sticky topic of promoting our own work and how self-doubt can sabotage even the most brilliant strategies (including the stories behind writing our books and the awkwardness of self-promotion). Here’s what we cover in this episode: Why highly capable people get stuck doing everything themselves The dangers of the “belief gap” and how it undermines communication confidence How authenticity and trust are sensed more than spoken Facing self-doubt when promoting your own work or stepping onto a bigger stage The difference between “sounding different” and communicating true individuality Branding tips: letting your business reflect you, not the other way around Overthinking, procrastination, and why they signal a lack of message clarity Using AI as a tool (not a replacement) for genuine communication How to “proof hunt” your own experience and leverage it for authority—at any age Why collaboration beats competition every time If this episode resonated with you, check out Sarah’s book, “It’s Only Common Sense to You,” and remember building confidence starts with honoring the unique value you already possess. Let’s stop fixing ourselves and start trusting ourselves, together. Connect with Sarah: Website: https://sjpbusinessdevelopment.com LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sarahjpitts/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sarahjpittsuk/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@SJPBusinessDevelopment Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sarahjpittsmt Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you ever feel like your best ideas get crushed before they have a chance, simply because you’re pitching to someone who’s already decided they’re the smartest person in the room? In this episode of Speaking with Confidence, I dive into how to pitch your ideas to high-ego individuals and actually get them on your side. As a recovering college professor and communication coach, I’ve seen far too many great ideas die on the vine, not due to lack of quality, but because of the way they're presented to those who crave authority and validation. There’s an art to getting buy-in from someone who measures every suggestion against their own expertise. And in today’s episode, I break down the strategy you need not just to survive these conversations, but to truly shine. Today, I’m sharing the “stealth collaboration” techniques I’ve developed over years of navigating tough rooms, whether with C-suite executives, dominant clients, or anyone who gets defensive at the hint of a challenge. We walk through what makes a standard pitch fail miserably when ego is at stake, the psychology behind high-ego reactions, and most importantly, how to flip that script. Here’s what I cover in detail: Why walking into a room trying to prove your intelligence is the wrong move when egos are on alert The two basic options a finished pitch gives someone with a need for control and why they’ll almost always choose to shoot it down A real story from my early career of watching a flawless presentation unravel because it threatened someone’s status The concept of “psychological reconnaissance” and why you need to listen like you’re wrong (even when you know you’re right) The Strategic Question Dump: how to schedule a low-pressure chat, ask open-ended questions, and mine for the true priorities and pain points driving their decisions Using their own words and priorities as the foundation for your proposal How the “IKEA effect” from Harvard research helps you craft an intentionally unfinished prototype that invites their edits, so they’ll value the idea more How to invite criticism up front, turning would-be critics into collaborators The importance of mirroring their language, anchoring your summary in their exact phrasing, and letting them feel like the architect of the solution The “eighth grade simplicity test” to make sure your final proposal is simple and clear enough that the high-ego individual can confidently champion it to others Why making your intelligence invisible is the secret to building long-term influence and trust I close with practical homework: ban yourself from saying “I” in your next project pitch, ask one targeted question based on their input, present a draft with intentional gaps, and then let them build it with you. Progress, not perfection, is the goal and your path to becoming a powerful, persuasive communicator starts here. For more resources and your free eBook, visit speakingwithconfidencepodcast.com. Remember, your voice has the power to change the world. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What does it really mean to be emotionally intelligent, and how can mastering this skill transform not just your communication, but your entire experience of work and life? On this episode of Speaking with Confidence, we dive deep into emotional intelligence beyond the buzzwords and the surface-level definitions, exploring what it looks like in the real world, how we grow it, and why it matters more than ever in today's evolving workplace. I'm Tim Newman, and in this episode, I had the privilege of welcoming Camilla Calberg to the show. Camilla is a business mentor, career coach, and a leader who has spent over 20 years driving transformation at places like BP, Shell, and IBM. Today, she’s on a mission to help women (and all professionals) who feel unseen, stuck, or overwhelmed, finally find inner peace and become trusted, emotionally intelligent advisors in their organizations. And she’s changing the way we think about leadership moving beyond the old KPIs-and-box-ticking mentality to a more soul-led, sustainable approach that truly supports people. In our conversation, Camilla and I jumped right into the realities of personal growth at work, especially the tough parts of those moments when things aren’t going according to plan and it feels like the storms are never ending. We discussed the huge difference between knowing about emotional intelligence in theory versus actually living it day-to-day: feeling those waves of emotion, noticing when your body is sending you nervous signals, and making real choices about how to show up in the moment. Here’s what we covered in this episode: The true, lived definition of emotional intelligence and how it shows up in real work situations Camilla’s personal journey from masking emotions to finding inner peace and the pivotal moments that changed her approach The problem with equating years or credentials with real growth and how to embody your learning How stress and emotional overload manifest in work conversations, and phrases to listen for Leadership and the art of saying “no” why boundaries are crucial for effectiveness and health The disconnect between Gen Z and business leaders, and actionable ways to bridge the gap using emotional intelligence Practical, immediately usable mindset shifts and conversational strategies for dealing with tough work situations and negative environments The importance of choosing your "tribe" and surrounding yourself with people who lift you up Whether you’re early in your career, leading teams, or navigating big life transitions, this episode will challenge you to rethink what confidence, emotional intelligence, and real leadership look like from the inside out. Plus, Camilla shares more resources for those who want to go deeper. Tune in to discover how being more intelligent with your emotions and less attached to your “mask” can transform not just your presence at work, but your overall sense of peace and purpose. Connect with Camilla: Website: https://www.camillacalberg.com   LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/camillacalberg/   YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@camillacalberg    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever been put on the spot in a meeting when your boss turns to you and asks, “What’s your take on this?” and your mind just goes blank? If you’ve ever struggled with this kind of pressure, you’re definitely not alone. In this episode of Speaking with Confidence, I tackle the uncomfortable but all-too-common experience of freezing up when you’re unexpectedly called upon, and I reveal a practical way to break through that mental block, fast. I open the show by getting real about what’s actually happening in those high-stakes moments. Freezing up isn’t a sign that you’re not smart, or that you don’t know your stuff, it's the result of cognitive overload. Suddenly, your brain’s juggling a hundred possibilities at once, and without a clear filter or system in place, panic sets in and clarity goes out the window. That’s why today I’m sharing a tool that’s been a game-changer for me and my clients: the ACES method. It’s a mental checklist that helps you cut through the noise and respond with confidence even when your heart’s pounding and your thoughts are scrambling for an exit. I’ll walk you through the ACES framework. We’ll dig into the real reasons smart people freeze, why the usual “just be confident” advice falls flat, and how using a simple, four-step mental scan can help you deliver sharp, focused answers in any conversation. Here’s what we cover in this episode: Why freezing doesn’t mean you’re unprepared and what’s actually going on in your brain when you’re put on the spot. The critical importance of filtering your response through “audience” focusing on who’s asking the question and what they actually need from you. The “one thing rule” for content zeroing in on the single most important piece of information instead of dumping everything you know. How to spot and align with hidden expectations behind the question, so you answer what’s really being asked. The power of having a go-to “script” structure point, reason, example, and action that helps your thoughts flow into a clear, compelling answer. Practical, low-pressure ways to practice ACES, so the process becomes automatic (even when you’re under pressure). A simple challenge to try the ACES method in your next everyday conversation to start building unstoppable communication muscle. If you’re ready to replace panic with process and show up in high-stakes moments with real clarity, this episode is for you. Don’t forget to visit speakingwithconfidencepodcast.com to grab your free eBook, The Top 21 Challenges for Public Speakers and How to Overcome Them, and check out the Forming for Public Speaking course. Let’s keep moving towards progress, not perfection. Your voice really can change the world! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever wondered why confidence seems to slip away right when you need it most? Or if it’s really possible to change how you feel about yourself and your abilities no matter how long you’ve struggled? On this episode of Speaking with Confidence, we dive into the roots of real confidence, the power of self-talk, and how science and faith come together to help us show up as our best selves. I’m Tim Newman, and today I’m joined by the incredible Dr. Laurette Willis, a cognitive behavioral therapist, speaker, mentor, and founder of Weight Loss Without Willpower and Praises Moves Fitness Ministry. Laurette’s journey from childhood struggles with overeating and self-image to empowering women and men around the world to find strength without shame brings a wealth of wisdom and practical tools to our conversation. We kick things off by unpacking what confidence really means. As Dr. Laurette explains, the word itself comes from the Latin “confidere” to have full trust. She shares how true confidence is about leaning your full weight on your trust on something greater than yourself, and why this “trust” is the opposite of fear, especially for people whose greatest challenges show up right alongside their greatest gifts. We both get personal about our own experiences with stage fright and imposter syndrome even after years of professional speaking and performing. Dr. Laurette opens up about growing up with negative self-talk and how completely changing what she said to herself transformed not only her feelings but her results in life. I reveal my ongoing struggles with self-doubt, despite being able to help others navigate the same thing, and we both talk about how, even as coaches, we need outside support to keep our inner voices in check. Throughout the episode, we explore: The roots and true meaning of confidence How fear often attacks our greatest strengths The five-step chain that links self-talk to results Practical neuroscience: how your brain can and does change (neuroplasticity!) Myths about “overnight” change and why patience with yourself matters How your environment and the people around you shape your mindset and outcomes The power of habits, big and small, to rewire your brain and your life Dr. Laurette’s story of feeling most “herself” on stage, and how improv taught her trust Using faith-based practices and scripture to ground confidence A powerful cognitive-behavioral exercise to physically “cast off” worry and take on peace The science behind victory celebrations, positive self-talk, and dopamine hits for change Why believing in others before they believe in themselves can be life-changing A hands-on bilateral brain stimulation technique for cutting through fear or cravings in seconds The practical, lifelong value of mentorship, support, humility, and helping others up the ladder How to speak life into yourself and others (and why that matters more than you think) By the end of our heartfelt, hope-filled talk, you’ll walk away with a practical toolkit for tackling fear, reframing your inner dialogue, and stepping up to life’s stage with true confidence rooted in trust, humility, and real support. If you’re ready to break out of old cycles, speak with boldness, and help others do the same, this conversation with Dr. Laurette Willis will inspire you from the inside out. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you tired of working hard but still finding yourself overlooked, misunderstood, or stuck in conflict at work? In today’s episode, I tackle the question: What if the real reason you're not getting the recognition or opportunities you deserve isn’t about how hard you’re working, but about the way you communicate? I’m Tim Newman, a recovering college professor turned communication coach, and your guide on the Speaking with Confidence podcast. In this episode, I break down the exact three-part formula I use with my clients to transform invisible, frustrated professionals into clear, connected, and unstoppable communicators. It’s not just a list of tips, it's a step-by-step system where every part is necessary, and missing any one piece makes the whole thing fall apart. It’s just you and me exploring what it truly means to become a successful, respected communicator. I’ll share the actionable steps that have helped my clients move from being overlooked to being valued, and from being anxious in the spotlight to becoming confident, effective public speakers. Here’s what we cover in today’s episode: Why the root of your career problems is more likely a communication issue than a lack of effort or expertise, and why that’s actually good news The myth that sounding articulate or having a big vocabulary means you’re a good communicator and why real communication starts with clarity above all else The importance of the “eighth grade rule” explaining your ideas so simply that even an eighth grader would understand, making your message unmissable at work A deep dive into collaboration and why true teamwork isn’t about being agreeable or avoiding conflict, but about handling friction with empathy and courage The “velvet brick” framework: being soft on the person but hard on the problem so you can tackle tough issues without sacrificing relationships How poor communication in small, one-on-one conversations can snowball into big project failures and blown deadlines down the line The misconception that public speaking is an innate talent, and why it’s actually about having applied confidence in your message and your collaborative skills A personal story about how reframing the audience as collaborators rather than judges can eliminate stage fright and boost your influence Why you can’t cheat the system by skipping steps each skill builds on the last, and only by mastering the sequence do you unlock real career leverage A challenge for the week: Identify one conversation and apply the eighth grade rule—deliberately choose clarity, and see how it transforms your results By the end of this episode, you’ll not only have a practical formula for communication success, but you’ll understand why each part matters and how to put it all together for dramatic results in your work and beyond. Don’t forget to visit speakingwithconfidencepodcast.com to grab your free eBook on the top 21 challenges for public speakers and learn about the Formula for Public Speaking course. Your voice really does have the power to change the world. Let's unlock it together. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever wondered why, no matter how hard you try, you can’t just “be confident” especially when your hands are shaking and your mind is racing? If so, you’re not alone, and you’re exactly who this episode is for. Today on Speaking with Confidence, we’re tackling the reality behind what it means to build, lose, and rebuild true confidence especially for those who’ve faced serious self-doubt, bullying, or lived experience with mental health challenges. I sat down with the remarkable Hufsa Ahmad licensed therapist, scientist, award-winning mental health advocate, behavioral health consultant, and two-time TEDx speaker. She’s uniquely known for blending science, clinical wisdom, and sharp humor, turning even life’s lowest points into stepping stones for growth and resilience. In this episode, Hufsah opens up about her journey from being a happy, curious child to enduring relentless bullying, depression, and defining periods of isolation. She shares how a suicide attempt as a child and ongoing battles with mental illness and the stigma attached eventually pushed her to hit rock bottom. From there, she didn’t just rebuild her confidence; she reframed her entire relationship with herself and those around her. Highlights from our conversation: How early life experiences and bullying shaped Hafsah’s self-image and how she turned the corner The gritty process of learning to care less about what others think, even in the face of online hate and real-world rejection The impact of social media on social confidence, and why stepping away transformed her focus and well-being The difference between “performing confidence” and actually feeling it, and how to spot the difference Why humor is a tool for healing, connection, and resilience and how anyone can start using it Tactics Hafsah uses to reframe negative self-talk and rewrite the narrative after setbacks The most common myths anxious speakers believe, and evidence-based ways to challenge them What crowd work and comedy taught her about real presence in public speaking Practical steps every anxious speaker should stop doing immediately and what to do instead The power of not taking things personally, and why audience reactions aren’t always about you If you’ve ever felt crushed by criticism, paralyzed by anxiety, or frustrated by the advice to “just be confident,” this episode will give you actionable wisdom, a few laughs, and a whole new way to think about resilience on and off the stage. Connect with Hufsa: Website: https://hufsaahmad.com     LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/hufsaahmad/   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hufsaahmad    YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@hufsa-ahmad Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever wondered if knowing too much about your subject could actually make you a less effective communicator? I know it sounds counterintuitive, but in this episode of Speaking With Confidence, I dive into why deep expertise might be your biggest liability when presenting and the one simple rule that can turn it all around. Hi, I’m Tim Newman, a recovering college professor turned communication coach, and in this episode, I share my journey from thinking that piling on credentials and information would make me the most persuasive person in the room to realizing that too much expertise can actually get in the way of real communication. I know firsthand how easy it is to fall into “the expert trap,” and today, I want to walk you through the five ways this shows up in our presentations, plus the practical fix that anyone can use immediately. It’s just me sharing hard-won experience and tools you can apply whether you’re presenting research, delivering a pitch, or leading a team meeting. We start by unpacking the subtle but powerful curse of knowledge, that cognitive bias that makes us forget what it felt like not to know our subject. From there, I break down the other traps that experts stumble into: overloading slides with data, defaulting to lecture mode, relying on jargon to “prove” credibility, and hiding behind an impenetrable expert persona that actually alienates your audience. We don’t just name the problems, we walk through fixes. I share my go-to strategies, like building presentations that map the audience’s journey rather than just dumping information, making every slide a clear, focused compass rather than a wall of text, and applying what I call the “Gen Z Intern Test” to ensure your language stays human and relatable. Most importantly, I reveal the eighth-grade rule: If a typical eighth grader can’t grasp your main point and its importance after just one hearing, you need to simplify it even further. Clear ideas are your greatest source of authority. Here’s what I cover in this episode: The real ways expertise can sabotage your communication and connection Understanding and overcoming the curse of knowledge Escaping the trap of data drowning and cluttered slides Breaking the lecture loop by building real exchanges with your audience Avoiding jargon overload and speaking so anyone can understand Letting go of the impenetrable expert persona and embracing authentic authority The “eighth grade rule” as your universal test for clarity Why preparing to connect is always more powerful than preparing to impress If you’re ready to move your presentations from impressive to impactful, and from credible to truly connected, this episode is packed with tools to get you there. Don’t forget to grab your free ebook at speakingwithconfidencepodcast.com, and I’ll see you next time as we keep building the soft skills that create real change. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What does it really take to move from simply having a message to building a message that truly lasts? That’s the question we answer in this episode of Speaking with Confidence. This week, we dig deep into the art and science behind powerful communication not just what you see on stage, but the systems, preparation, and intentionality that make those moments matter. I’m joined by Jared Cagle, Executive Vice President of Content at Maxwell Leadership. Jared is a master of helping communicators, authors, and thought leaders craft messages that create lasting impact. He’s been directly involved with the development, publishing, and global expansion of John Maxwell’s legendary leadership content, and he shares a behind-the-scenes look at what it really takes to influence at scale. In our conversation, Jared Cagle and I talk about the recent International Maxwell Conference, with Jared offering his highlights and lessons learned from running the show behind the curtain. We discuss the real meaning of connection and community, why the hallway conversations are sometimes more transformative than what happens on stage, and how being genuinely interested in others is foundational to meaningful leadership and influence. Here’s what we cover in this episode: Jared’s role at Maxwell Leadership and the intentional system behind crafting memorable messages Why community and connection matter more than just great content The power of being interested in others and making them feel valued Jared’s unique career journey from cold calls to leading content for a global brand Lessons from getting “in the room” with world-class leaders and how to add value The relationship between reading, writing, and effective speaking Practical advice on building messages that last and how the market determines message longevity The importance of making your message about the audience, not just yourself Confidence vs. preparedness: what the top speakers and leaders really feel before walking on stage How to contextualize your message for different audiences and make every moment of interaction count Why starting small and serving locally can create ripple effects of influence What’s next for Jared, the legacy work with John Maxwell, and how you can get involved with Maxwell Leadership Whether you’re an aspiring speaker, established leader, or someone passionate about communicating with more impact, this episode will give you actionable strategies and a fresh perspective on what it takes to build a message and a legacy that lasts. Connect with Jared: LinkedIn: https://www.instagram.com/jared_cagle/    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jared_cagle/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever wondered why, despite doing everything right, being considerate, polite, and following all the unspoken rules you still feel overlooked in meetings or conversations? In this episode of Speaking with Confidence, we’re diving into the seven subtle "safe habits" that might be sabotaging your presence and making you come across as less confident than you truly are. I’m Tim Newman, a recovering college professor turned communication coach, and I’m here to guide you through the small shifts that turn good communicators into truly compelling ones. Today’s topic grew out of my work with interns, new grads, and young professionals who, without realizing it, train the people around them to see them as unsure or not quite ready to take up space in the room. These aren’t glaring mistakes that most wouldn’t even recognize as confidence killers. But they are quiet habits that slowly erode your authority and can make you feel and look like an imposter. In this episode, we’ll unpack the seven most common habits that keep talented people playing small. You’ll hear why polite apologies, upspeak, or the nervous nod aren’t keeping the peace; they’re quietly holding you back. I’ll walk through why these behaviors backfire, what they communicate to your colleagues or audience, and practical ways to break out of them without swinging to the opposite extreme of arrogance or aggression. Here’s what I cover in this episode: Why apologizing before speaking (with “sorry to bother you,” “quick question,” or “does that make sense?”) weakens your message, and how a simple confident pause has greater impact The damage caused by upspeak and “the expert facade,” and how to use clear, simple language that establishes real authority The body language of submission including the invisible man posture and the nervous nod and how to physically take up space to signal confidence Why over-editing your thoughts or waiting for the perfect moment keeps your contributions invisible, and how to use “the three second rule” to build confidence in real time The psychological effect these habits have on listeners, and how breaking even just one can immediately shift how you’re perceived in any room How to choose just one habit to focus on this week for real, sustainable progress, instead of overwhelming yourself with total transformation Whether you see yourself playing small with language, posture, or silent self-editing, today’s episode will help you swap safety for real presence one habit at a time. Stick with me to the end for a simple challenge you can use in your next meeting, and remember: your voice has the power to change the world. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What would happen if you stopped chasing productivity hacks and started embracing simplicity and discipline in your everyday life? In this episode of Speaking with Confidence, we dive deep into building habits that stick, mastering boundaries, and simplifying the way you work, communicate, and live. I had the pleasure of sitting down with Mark Struczewski, better known as Mister Productivity, a Houston-based productivity coach and host of the Mister Productivity podcast. With over 1,350 episodes and an unfiltered, real-world approach, Mark helps professionals conquer overwhelm and bring focus back into their days. After being fired from corporate America, Mark turned his setback into a thriving coaching practice, rooted in daily running discipline, his faith, and powerful, practical systems. Mark’s journey started unexpectedly, with a hurricane keeping him cooped up at home and an article inspiring him to try running one mile a day. Since then, Mark’s daily running habit has surpassed 3,000 consecutive days, a testament to the transformative power of consistent discipline. We explored how that kind of commitment spills over into every area of life, and why the basics matter more than ever, whether you’re running, building a career, or communicating with confidence. We dug into why so many people, especially young professionals, are constantly overwhelmed. Spoiler: It isn’t just about time management. Mark unpacks the role of FOMO, people-pleasing, lack of boundaries, and our addiction to technology. Together, we discuss how reclaiming focus and simplifying your approach can lead to more clarity and better results, both at work and at home. Here’s what we covered in this episode: Mark’s origin story and how a hurricane and Runner's World article launched an 8+ year daily running habit Why Mark’s daily discipline matters in fitness, work, and coaching The link between doing hard things and building confidence Why young professionals (and all generations) feel overwhelmed, and how FOMO and people-pleasing feed the cycle The importance of saying “no” and setting unbreakable boundaries Mark’s “get to the point” email and meeting philosophy, plus why more communication is rarely better How to command attention in person by putting the phone away and giving people your full presence Finding simplicity in a world that glorifies complexity and constant busyness The real impact of taking one day completely off for rest, reflection, and recharging Why being fired opened the door for Mark’s current calling, and how to view setbacks as setups for something new How podcasting improves communication and the importance of clarity, preparation, and growth The most impactful productivity principle you can apply right now taking mindful, technology-free micro breaks If you’re ready to stop making excuses, cut through the overwhelm, and communicate with real confidence, this episode is for you. Mark brings actionable wisdom, humor, and a no-nonsense approach that will get you thinking and moving toward a simpler, more productive life. Connect with Mark: Website: https://misterproductivity.com LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markstruczewski/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/misterproductivity/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@MisterProductivity/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices