On the Speak the Truth podcast, the host interviews pastor and SoulCare Consulting International leader Lee Lewis about developing a culture of biblical care in local churches. Lewis argues that care must extend beyond Sunday services and formal counseling to include ongoing one-another ministry, preventative care, and equipping rhythms, with elders casting and sustaining the vision. He highlights common challenges such as siloed ministries, dependence on professionals, and unsustainable pastor-centered models, pointing to biblical patterns like Ephesians 4, Matthew 28, Exodus 18, Acts 6, and 2 Timothy 2:2. Lewis explains SoulCare’s “Transformed” training continuum (T1–T6) from mutual care and small group leadership through coaching, pastoral care, and formal/intensive counseling, including tools like an SOS triage matrix. The episode also describes SoulCare’s church “360” assessment and multi-year roadmap to contextualize and scale care.

00:00 Road Trip Intro
00:24 Meet Lee Lewis
00:57 Why Culture Matters
04:33 One Another Rhythms
08:38 Elders Cast Vision
09:48 Scalability Exodus 18
11:34 From Concept to Tools
13:07 Discipleship Continuum
13:26 Transformed Framework
13:32 T1 Mutual Care
14:23 T2 Small Group Leaders
15:11 T3 Coaching Model
15:46 T4 Pastoral Care
16:10 T5-T6 Counseling Track
16:31 Soul Care Continuum
17:02 360 Health Assessment
19:01 Roadmap and Scaling
20:01 Case Study Success
21:32 Relational Progressions
23:44 Reclaiming Counseling
25:16 Final Encouragement

Episode Mentions
Made to Minister Conference 2025 - Lee's Handout
Soul Care Consulting International
Discipleship Continuum (T2 Material)

This episode of Speak the Truth previews the Pastors and Church Leadership track for the 2026 Call to Council Conference (April 23–25, Fort Worth, Texas, at Doxology Bible Church) through a conversation with track leader Robert Cheong, executive director of Gospel Care Ministries and former pastor of care at Sojourn Church Midtown. Cheong explains the track was born from pastors feeling overwhelmed by counseling resources and uncertain how counseling fits with broader ministry responsibilities. He introduces the track team—Garrett Higbee, Dwayne Bond, Joe Keller, and Cheong—highlighting their extensive ministry experience. The objective is to help pastors and leaders grow in confidence in applying the gospel to personal life, shepherding and ministry issues, and leadership challenges, with Q&A after sessions and a final panel. The track aims to encourage weary leaders and serve pastors, church leaders, and non-counselor attendees.

00:00 Welcome and Conference Intro

01:08 Meet Robert Cheong

01:47 Why This Track Exists

03:37 Pastors and Leaders Track Overview

03:53 Track Team Lineup

05:47 Track Objectives and Format

07:25 What Youll Learn in Practice

08:33 Who This Track Is For

11:39 Register and Closing

Episode Mentions
Register for the Pastors & Church Leadership Track
Check out Gospel Care Ministries - Robert Cheong
Soul Care Consulting - Garrett Higbee 
Proximus Group - Dwayne Bond

Biblical Counseling Africa: Equipping the Church for Gospel-Centered Care in South Africa and Beyond

Recorded on the road at the Biblical Counseling Coalition Global Summit, this Speak the Truth podcast episode features interviews with Kyle Johnston and Jane Kratz from Cape Town, South Africa, about their ministry contexts and the growth of Biblical Counseling Africa. Jane shares how her husband’s death in 2012 led her to pursue a theologically rich approach to grief and loss, moving from prior psychology studies to biblical counseling training through ABC’s Equipped to Counsel material and later studying at Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, with additional church experience in Texas before returning to South Africa. Kyle, an ordained minister at Gracefield Church in Fish Hoek, explains how pastoral ministry exposed a gap between confident pulpit preaching and applying Scripture in complex, conversational counseling situations; this led him to training through Wayne Mack’s curriculum in South Africa and a master’s degree at The Master’s University in Los Angeles (2012), while continuing to prioritize pastoral care and counseling in church life.

They discuss why they remain committed to serving in Africa despite opportunities elsewhere, noting both the significant needs in Cape Town and South Africa and the mission field created by migration from other African nations. They describe cultural observations, including hospitality and the value of contextual ministry shaped by South Africa’s historical experience, including navigating multicultural ministry after apartheid.

Kyle outlines how Biblical Counseling Africa began in part to make CCEF training more accessible and affordable in their context and to expand beyond South Africa through online courses. The organization’s aim is to equip local churches across Africa to provide wise, loving, gospel-centered pastoral care that restores Christ to counseling. They describe a three-level approach: (1) grassroots seminars, talks, and workshops (including using ABC conference resources with local case studies and courses such as Jane’s nine-week grief care course); (2) training such as ABC’s Equipped to Counsel offered during COVID and in-person; and (3) advanced CCEF courses, with growing enrollment. Future focus includes helping pastors develop a church-wide culture of care, vulnerability, and mutual ministry beyond sermon-centered expectations.

They explain that Biblical Counseling Africa is a nonprofit and invite listeners to support the work through prayer, financial giving, and volunteering. They emphasize the need for resources to sustain operations, relieve volunteer load, and provide scholarships for students from poorer African contexts. They express gratitude for support from American partners including CCEF, ABC, BCC, and others, noting that courses are offered at about a quarter of the normal cost, and direct listeners to biblicalcounsellingafrica.com for more information and contact.

00:00 Welcome to Speak the Truth (Podcast Intro)
01:09 Meet Jane: From Grief & Loss to Biblical Counseling
02:30 Texas Culture Shock & Accent Stories
03:39 Meet Kyle: Pastoral Ministry Path into Counseling
06:12 Why Stay & Serve in Africa? Calling, Need, and Gifts
08:23 Jane’s Perspective: Returning Home, Mission Field in South Africa
10:56 Culture Notes: Hospitality, Affection, and Multicultural Ministry
12:53 What Is Biblical Counseling Africa? Origins, Partnerships, Vision
15:20 Equipping the Church: Training Levels & Accessible Resources
16:35 Level 1 Training: Seminars, Consultations & Explaining Biblical Counseling
17:16 Grief Care Course & Topic-Based Workshops (Burnout, Anxiety, Depression, etc.)
17:53 Using ABC Conference Content: Videos, Workshops & Local Case Studies
18:41 Advanced Training: Equipped to Counsel & CCEF Courses
19:14 Next Step: Building a Churchwide Culture of Care (Pastors + One-Another Ministry)
20:31 Beyond the Pulpit: Equipping the Saints & How Counseling Shapes Preaching
24:10 How to Support Biblical Counseling Africa: Prayer, Giving & Website Info
26:08 Funding Needs: Affordable Training, Supporting Students & Volunteer Capacity
29:04 Volunteering with BCA: Gifts, Admin Help & Partnering via Email
30:05 Wrap-Up: Invitation to Visit South Africa, Gratitude & Final Thanks

Episode Mentions
Biblical Counselling Africa
The Comfort of God in Grief - A Nine Week Grief Care Course by Jane  

In this episode hosts, Mike, Shauna, and Jeremy continue their mini-series, counseling through the Psalms. A verse by verse breakdown of Psalm 19. They discuss, as shown in the text, God's general, special, and applied revelation of himself and why this matters in the counseling room.

Episode Resources Mentioned:
Counseling Through The Psalms - ABC Resource
Reformed Systematic Theology Vol. 1 - Joel Beeke 

• Applied Revelation 
  • mentioned throughout chapters 10, 11, 12, 16, 23
  • Ch. 25 - Applied Revelation for Practical Fruit

In this episode hosts, Mike & Shauna Van Dyke and Jeremy Lelek are back to kick off this mini-series, "Counseling Through the Psalms" an ABC resource written to help counselors use the psalms in session or as growth assignments. In this episode, Jeremy covers how he'd use Psalm 139 in a counseling session to help a counselee struggling with paralyzing anxiety. How God's omniscience and omnipresence can be used to navigate anxiety. 

Episode Resource:
Counseling Through The Psalms

In this episode, host Mike Van Dyke is joined by special guest, Colten Taylor to share his testimony from being a practicing homosexual to following Jesus Christ. In part 2 Colten shares how he experienced God's love through his people and not in the way the cultural narrative expresses. He shares God's gracious pursuit and his consequent faith in Jesus Christ. He concludes with what his life in Christ looks like now and the work that the Holy Spirit is doing in him now. 

In this episode, host Mike Van Dyke is joined by special guest, Colten Taylor to share his testimony from being a practicing homosexual to following Jesus Christ. In part 1 Colten shares the origin of his story of growing up, being sexually abused, and working through the confusion in his formative years. He navigates through the notion of being born with same-sex attraction what that meant in his experience and its physiological and psychological impact.  

Episode Summary:
In this episode, host, Mike Van Dyke is joined by special guest, Adam Sandlin, founder of Covenant Biblical Counseling to discuss how he pursued licensure, being an LPC-S, and launching his biblical counseling center, Covenant Biblical Counseling.

Episode Resources:
Covenant Biblical Counseling
Redeemer Church Denton
North Texas Christian Counseling

In this episode host, Mike Van Dyke is joined with special guest, Robert n' Nate from Watermark Community Church to discuss two discipling ministries within Watermark, re|engage(marriage enrichment) and re:generation(recovery ministry), that have been fruitfully successful within Watermark and how they help equip the universal church with these two ministries. Robert n' Nate shares the history of the ministries, their nature and scope, and the pathway to help the local church be equipped with these ministries within the local church context - from building to growing the ministry, their availability in coming alongside church leaders to equip and execute these ministries. Check out these resources here at watermark resources.  

Show resources: 

• watermark resources. 

Episode Notes:
In this episode, host Mike Van Dyke is joined by special guests, author and pastor, Robert Cheong and his wife, Karen Cheong to discuss his heart in writing his new book, "Restoration Story". We all have our own back story—our sometimes unconscious beliefs—that have been shaped by our families, relationships, and life experiences. Our stories shape the personal narratives we live out: “I am not loved.” “No one cares for me.” “I have to be better than everyone around me.” “How I look is the most important thing about me.” Our back story guides us in how we relate to God and others. But are these beliefs true? And how are they affecting our lives today? Cheong helps readers unpack their stories and learn to live out of God’s new story. Readers will discover how to retell their story out of who God is, what he’s done, and the call to love him and others. Learn how the dynamics of creation, fall, redemption, and consummation shape our present struggles, confirm our future hope, and ensure our ability to live in God’s power today. At the intersection of God’s story and your own, you’ll find that his love sustains you in your weariness, guides you in your confusion, and comforts you in your suffering. The story of his love will compel you to live for him. Restoration Story can also be used alongside Cheong’s Restore: Changing How We Live and Love Study Guide. 

Episode Resources:
Restoration Story: Why Jesus Matters In A Broken World
Restore: How We Live And Love, Study Guide With Leader's Notes

Episode Notes:
In this episode, host Mike Van Dyke is joined by author, pastor, biblical counselor, special guest Chris Moles. Chris shares his genesis of entering into domestic abuse work as a pastor and how The LORD used it to develop the ministry of peaceworks and the men of peace self-paced course work. The Men of Peace Self-Paced Course is the compilation of all of Chris Moles’ past Men of Peace coaching content plus brand-new material. This course will walk men through the three-fold Men of Peace process of Information, Transformation, and Reformation, educating and guiding men who are ready to take ownership of their abusive behaviors and surrender themselves fully to the Lord in true and lasting repentance. Please be aware this course DOES NOT include a direct coaching component with Chris Moles. Instead, the Men of Peace Self-Paced Course is designed to be used within the context of an already established biblical counseling or coaching relationship, with the abusive man enlisting the discipleship and accountability support of a local counselor, pastor, or mentor. Once purchased, each course participant will have permanent access to all course materials.

Episode Resources:
chrismoles.org
Peaceworks Podcast
Men of Peace Self-Paced Course

Episode Notes:

In this episode host, Mike Van Dyke is joined with special guest, author, and counselor, Greg Wilson to discuss his new book, "When Home Hurts: A Biblical Guide For Responding Wisely To Domestic Abuse for Your Church". Greg shares his heart for writing this book, his passion for the local church to be equipped from the pastoral level to the neighbor level. This book is intended to equip pastors, church leaders, and church members to respond with the heart of God to situations of domestic abuse that occur in their local church. Prioritizing the safety of the victim at all times, Jeremy Pierre and Greg Wilson seek to help you be the kind of church leader, church member, friend, parent, sibling, or neighbor who responds wisely. We want the church to be a new normal for those grown accustomed to abuse. A home that doesn’t hurt those inside, but instead welcomes them into the tender care of the Lord.

Split into three sections, When Home Hurts begins with an overview to provide a framework for understanding abuse and the people caught up in it, before moving on to advice on how to help in the short and long terms.

 

This very practical, pastoral book acknowledges the reality and the horror of domestic abuse, but also the reality and power of God to heal. It will be a helpful guide to anyone who suspects abuse within their church family but is unsure how to help without making things worse.

 

The five appendices at the end of the book offer helpful answers to difficult questions as well as additional resources.

 

Section 1 – How to Understand Abuse

Understanding Your Role as Agent of God’s Love

Understanding Abuse Dynamics

Discerning Abuse Dynamics

Section 2 – How to Help in the Short Term

Caring for the Victim

Confronting the Abuser

Considering Collateral Damage

Section 3 – How to Help in the Long Term

Helping the Move from Victim to Overcomer

Helping the Move from Abuser to Servant

Leading Your Church to Respond with Wisdom and Compassion

Appendix A – FAQs in the Initial Stages

Appendix B – FAQs on Separation, Divorce, and Reunification After Abuse

Appendix C – The Authority of Scripture and Abuse Research

Appendix D – Resources

Appendix E – Care Advocate Role Description

Episode Resources:
When Home Hurts

In this episode, host Mike Van Dyke is joined with special guest, author and counselor, Darby Strickland to discuss her new book, "Is It Abuse?" A biblical guide to identifying domestic abuse and helping victims. Darby shares why she wrote the book and then discusses the robust nature in which "Is It Abuse" was written with Mike. The book was written in thirds; what is abuse and its dynamics, the different types of abuse and their distinctive's, and upholding the oppressed.     

Episode Resources:
Darby's book: Is It Abuse?
Christian Counseling Education Foundation

In this episode of Speak the Truth, Michael & Emily are joined by Joe and Ursula Morell from Stockholm, Sweden. They discuss the critical role of biblical counseling in missions, the challenges and growth in their local church, and their journey toward seeking to be a training center for biblical counseling in Scandinavia. Highlighting the interplay between personal struggles, theological training, and the missionary task, the conversation underscores the importance of practical theology and mutual care in building resilient Christian communities.

00:00 Introduction to Speak the Truth Podcast

00:35 Meet Our Guests from Stockholm, Sweden

01:47 The Journey to Biblical Counseling

03:54 Personal Struggles and Growth in Ministry

06:21 Building a Church with Biblical Counseling

07:26 Challenges and Realities of Missionary Work

14:08 Connecting with A, B, C and Training Initiatives

18:56 Current Church Context and Demographics

22:23 Implementing Biblical Counseling in Church Life

26:42 Future Goals and Prayer Requests

Episode Mentions
Contact ABC 

Episode Summary:
In this episode, host Mike Van Dyke is joined by special guests Beth Broom and Eliza Huie to talk about their new venture, The Christian Trauma Healing Network(CTHN), which serves mental health professionals, pastors, and lay ministry leaders to advance Christ-centered trauma healing in the church and society. They also discuss their new podcast: Counsel For Life - engaging conversations about mental health and the Christian life.

Episode Resources:
Beth Broom's Website
Eliza Huie's Website
Christian Trauma Healing Network
Counsel For Life Podcast. 

Episode Notes
What does it look like for a Christian to live a balanced life that honors God? This book offers practical guidance for renewing body and soul so that readers will be energized to engage life with fresh enthusiasm and vigor for service to God. Focusing on six key areas, including your spiritual life, physical life, community life, your work, your purpose, and how your rest, Christians gain strategies to experience transformation in how they care for themselves and others.

Episode Resources:
Book - The Whole Life: 52 Weeks of Biblical Self-Care
More about - Eliza Huie

Episode Summary:

In this episode host, Mike is joined with seasoned pastor and counselor, Garrett Higbee to discuss transforming the discipleship culture from unhealthy discipling to healthy mutual care discipling beginning with small group members and leaders(levels 1&2) to equipping coaches, pastors, and counselors.

Episode Notes:

Garrett's focus over the last few years of ministry - leader care and developing resources both in preventive care, intensive care, and disciple-making care, and leader care with pastors and elders. Helping get the leaders healthy.

Discipling continuum - intentional to intensive,

break down the equipping into the context that people live in, helping contextually and relationally.

• level 1 - mutual ministry
• level 2 - becoming a transforming leader, not a conforming leader
• level 3 - coaches, pastors, elders 

Church 360 assessment

• how are we doing as a church in discipling and caring for our church?
  • Leadership health assessment
• providing a coaching review - key indicators 
  • abiding in christ - spiritual development
  • Self-care, watching your life and doctrine closely.
  • How's your EQ (emotional intelligence)

2 ways subordinate pastoral staff can engage lead pastor or executive-level staff. 

• Prayer
• Testimony

Episode Resources:

soulcareconsulting.com

freedom groups - 13-week recovery ministry

In this episode, host, Mike Van Dyke is joined with special guest, Jonathan Holmes to discuss his new book, "Rescue Skills: Restoring The Sexually Broken". Jonathan shares his heart in co-authoring this book; writing a book that helps the friend who's got a friend who is struggling in their sexual brokenness, helping them develop a rescue plan by being the friend who can listen well, ask the right questions, and help to execute a plan that's full of the gospel, real repentance, and killing or replacing bad desires.

Mentioned Resources: 

• Rescue Skills: Restoring The Sexually Broken
• Rescue Plan: Charting a Course to Restore Prisoners of Pornography
• Counseling Couples: A Biblical and Practical Guide for Marriage Counseling
• Counseling Through The Psalms
• Counseling Through Bible Narratives

THE GOSPEL IS FOR ... 

◼ Counselees who feel that the Christian life is too hard 

◼ Counselees who worry they need to do more to have the assurance of salvation 
◼ Counselees who don’t want to forgive 

◼ Counselees who need to be reminded that they don’t have to earn God’s favor 
◼ Counselees who are depressed about their lack of spiritual maturity 
◼ Counselees who are suffering from the sin of others or a broken world 
◼ Counselees who are losing hope 

◼ Counselees who continue to make the same mistakes 

◼ Counselees who feel worthless or hated 

◼ Counselees who are putting too much emphasis on this life 
◼ Counselees who want to continue sinning

Episode Notes: 
In this episode, Mike is joined by special guest, Peter Escue to discuss the reality and implications of the gospel in the counseling room. In this episode, they discuss what is the gospel, its corollaries, and the reality of gospel drift in those seeking counseling, and how the gospel can begin to be applied to specific issues within our counselees.  

Episode Resources:
email us at topics@speakthetruth.org

“Post-traumatic stress disorder, a profoundly intense response to profoundly dangerous experiences, manifests itself in fear, terrifying vulnerability, and lack of a sense of control. While these responses are often involuntary, Jeremy Lelek reminds us that they are still responses . . . and, thus, different responses are possible. Here he relates the narrative of creation, fall, and redemption to the experiences of PTSD, reminding us that the gospel speaks to our experiences with danger as part of its redemptive message. He points to the wisdom of God in our suffering and reminds us of the saving grace offered by Jesus, guiding readers to the peace and contentment found in seeking God’s glory.

Episode Resources:
PTSD: Recovering Hope Booklet
Solomon Soulcare Services

Episode Notes:
When feelings of guilt, worthlessness, or self-condemnation set in, some people seek painful release in their own flesh and blood.  While cutting can bring temporary relief, it falls far short of the genuine change that is essential to true healing of the heart.

Through the direct and honest example of one young woman's story, Jeremy Lelek points those in such pain to the sufferings of Jesus Christ and the finished work of the cross as their means of hope, security, and healing.  He helps them to turn from trusting their own body and blood to trusting in the body and blood of Jesus, which alone has the power to bring true freedom.

View Ponts

• Adopting a biblical view of the body.
• Acknowledge attempts to replace the gospel with systems of redemption.
• Accept what Jesus has given in his own blood and body.
• Embrace the righteousness received in Christ Jesus

Episode Resources:
Cutting Booklet
Email us at topics@speakthetruth.org 

Episode Summary:
In this episode, hosts, Mike, Shauna, and Jeremy are joined by author and biblical counselor, Margaret Ashmore to discuss depression. The periods of depression that we all share can range from having a bad day to grieving the loss of a loved one. Our fallen world harbors a broad spectrum of suffering that, while never the same for each individual, has always been part of the human condition. Yet Margaret Ashmore reminds us that however difficult our circumstances, they cannot determine whether our lives are ruled by joy or by depression . . . the choices we make in light of those circumstances do. She lays before us a set of godly choices we can make in our own “dark night of the soul” to seek God’s freedom from our dominating depression.

Episode Notes: 
Margaret attends Benchmark Bible Church in Denton, Texas, where she serves as director of the counseling ministry in addition to leading Bible studies for women. She is a frequent speaker for women’s retreats and conferences across the country as an outreach of her church. Margaret has always been single, considering this a gift in allowing her to freely serve the Lord in “feeding His sheep.”

1. What inspired you to write this book on Depression?
2. You started the book by describing the normality of depression, which might sound new to some people. Will you share with us what that means?
3. After your discussion on the normality of depression, you talk about the power to choose. Tell us more about that.
4. What passages of scripture do you most often use in counseling to someone struggling with depression?
5. On page 33, share with us how you used an image of Elizabeth Elliot as an illustration?
6. Outside of this book, is there anything else that would helpful for us to know/learn about providing biblical counseling to someone struggling with depression?
7. How would a pastor or biblical counselor use this book as a resource in counseling?

Episode Resources:

Depression: The Sun Always Rises (booklet highlighted in the episode)

Depression: A Stubborn Darkness - Ed Welch

Spiritual Depression - Martin Lloyd Jones

A Path Through SufferingElizabeth Elliott 

Episode Summary: 
In this episode, hosts, Mike, Shauna, and Jeremy are joined by our special guest - Brad Hambrick. To discuss his booklet, God's Attributes. They discuss how a proper understanding of God is vital.  However, many times what we observe from our own experiences (especially when they are difficult and painful) can affect the shape of that understanding.  How do we know whether we have a true, balanced view of God?
This study looks at sixteen attributes of God, grouped under the headings of his love, essence, wisdom, and power, to help challenge your understanding.  It goes on to challenge how well you rest in each attribute (have faith and comfort in it) and emulate it in the struggles and experiences of your own life.  So learn, through your struggles, about the One who gives those struggles meaning.

 

Gospel for Real Life Series: God's Attributes - Rest For Life's Struggles:

1. Learning God’s attributes is a foundational truth that all of us should teaching in counseling, so we obviously love this booklet and can be a favorite resource for every counseling session.
What stirred your heart to write it?
2. You start off the book with this idea of ‘From life to God’, will share more about that with us.
3. You’ve created a chart ‘as a circle’ to help explain how to have a balanced view of God, with
four quadrants; Love, Essence, Wisdom & Power. Can you explain more about that?
4. How could the pastor or counselor use this chart as a tool in a session?
5. You’ve provided in the book a weekly devotional with daily scripture readings within that
topic, why was this important to include in the book?
6. How would a pastor or biblical counselor use this as a resource in counseling?

Episode Resources:
Bradhambrick.com
God's Attributes - Rest For Life's Struggles - Resource booklet 

In this episode of Speak the Truth, Michael interviews Kike Torres, a pastor dedicated to church planting and biblical counseling. Kike shares his journey, ministry background, and his approach to evangelism and pastoral care. He discusses planting churches in Mexico and internationally, including recent efforts in Panama and the United States. Kike also highlights the importance of training and equipping leaders through a culturally sensitive approach that emphasizes mutual care and biblical counseling. Listeners are encouraged to support his ministry through prayer, financial contributions, and active involvement.

00:00 Introduction to Speak the Truth Podcast

00:33 Meet Kike Torres: A New Brother in Ministry

01:36 Kike's Journey in Ministry

02:57 Church Planting and Global Missions

05:24 Implementing Biblical Counseling in Church Planting

09:41 Cultural Differences in Ministry

11:41 Equipping and Certification in Biblical Counseling

14:28 Future Plans and How to Support

18:58 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Episode Mentions
Cristo es Mejor - Kike's Ministry
Check out Kike's books

In this episode, the hosts, Mike, Shauna, and Jeremy discuss with special guest, Pastor of Counseling, Brad Hambrick of The Summit Church in Durham, NC how to identify passive or aggressive self-centered spouses, what types of passive and aggressive, their stages, and strategies for interaction. 

Episode Notes:
1. You write using Case Studies, Passive and Aggressive self-centered spouse, tell us why you approached the book that way?
2. Within each assessing the problem, you break it down into 3 stages. Do you want to give us a quick recap of those?
3. So you then go to mention types within the passive & aggressive self-centered spouses…share with us a bit more about that.
4. What are some strategies of interaction within these types of self-centered spouses?
5. After writing this book, is there anything else that would helpful for us to know/learn about providing biblical counseling to a self-centered spouse?
6. How would a pastor or biblical counselor use this as a resource in counseling?

Episode Resources:
Self-Centered Souse booklet
Becoming a church that cares for the abused
Bradhambrick.com 

In this episode, hosts, Mike, Shauna, and Jeremy discuss with special guest, Pastor of Counseling, Brad Hambrick of The Summit Church in Durham, NC the reality of "Burnout"  - resting in God's fairness. Brad argues burnout is actually a consequence of our life management, and he shows us how to create a time budget to avoid living beyond our means with the time God has provided. 

1. What is Burnout?
2. What Causes Burnout?
3. You mention motives in burnout…can you speak to that? -pride, fear & approval of man
4. You suggest doing a time budget…can you share more about that?
5. What are your suggestions to help prevent burnout?
6. How would a pastor or biblical counselor use this as a resource in counseling?

Episode References:
Burnout: Resting In God's Fairness

www.bradhambrick.com/events - webinar call for pastors and counselors.

In this episode, the hosts, Mike, Shauna, and Jeremy are back in the studio to discuss the "Gospel For Real Life" series that will be launching over the next 6 weeks that will be super helpful and practical in the counseling room. This series includes burnout, self-centered spouses, God's attributes, depression, PTSD, and cutting - they then discuss the 2021 ABC National Conference.

Gospel Care Collective W/Jason Kovacs

R3stored Ministries W/Carl & Laura Chica

Shauna@christiancounseling.com with any questions regarding training centers

Email us at topics@speakthetruth.org with anything you'd like us to discuss.

The need in the deaf community

Statistics:

• 90% of deaf children are born to hearing parents
• 85% of mothers learn to sign and about 2% of fathers learn to sign
• so most don't learn to communicate in their heart language(sign language).
• The deaf is considered an unreached people group, so less than 2% of the deaf community are believers in America.
• 70 Million deaf and hard of hearing people in the world.
• Fall of 2020 a bible was translated into the heart language(sign language)
• Sunshine Interpreters
• Deaf Millennial Project
• Deaf Bible Society 
• Deaf Missions 
• Door International 

• Booklet Summary 
  • Anxiety: Anatomy and Cure presents God’s prescription for victory in anxiety. Worry, doubt, and fear get the best of us all sometimes. Anxiety, like any other negative emotion, is a twisted version of something positive from God. Since we live in a fallen world, we may never have full victory over anxiety on this side of heaven. However, Bob Kellemen counsels that we can have victory in our anxieties—we can learn to use anxiety when it strikes and avoid the temptation to sin. In this biblical applicational study, Bob lays out a proper Christian view of anxiety from Creation to Fall to Redemption to Consummation. Along the way, he helps us apply the gospel to our daily lives and reclaim anxiety for what it should be—a vigilance to motivate us to do God’s work.
  • Purchase Anxiety: Anatomy and Cure 

To learn more about the books, including free resources and sample chapters, people can visit Bob’s RPM Ministries website: www.rpmministries.org.

Also, RPM Ministries has it's own secure, user-friendly RPM Ministries Book Store (https://rpmministries.org/store/) where people can order either book individually for 35% off, or they can purchase the two books together for 40% off.

About Bob Kellemen:
Bob Kellemen, Th.M., Ph.D.: Dr. Kellemen is Academic Dean, Dean of Students, and Professor of Biblical Counseling at Faith Bible Seminary in Lafayette, Indiana. Bob is also the Founder and CEO of RPM Ministries through which he speaks, writes, and consults on biblical counseling and Christian living. Dr. Kellemen served as the founding Executive Director of the Biblical Counseling Coalition. For seventeen years, Bob was the founding Chairman of and Professor in the MA in Christian Counseling and Discipleship department at Capital Bible Seminary in Lanham, MD. Bob has pastored four churches and equipped biblical counselors in each church. Bob and his wife, Shirley, have been married for thirty-nine years; they have two adult children, Josh and Marie, and three granddaughters. Dr. Kellemen is the author of twenty books including Gospel-Centered Marriage Counseling and Gospel-Centered Family Counseling.

Two-Book Series Information

On September 15, 2020, Baker Books released Dr. Bob Kellemen’s 19th and 20th books—a two-book series on marriage and family counseling: 

•  Gospel-Centered Marriage Counseling: An Equipping Guide for Pastors and Counselors
• Gospel-Centered Family Counseling: An Equipping Guide for Pastors and Counselors

 To learn more about the books, including free resources and sample chapters, people can visit Bob’s RPM Ministries website: www.rpmministries.org.

Also, RPM Ministries has it's own secure, user-friendly RPM Ministries Book Store (https://rpmministries.org/store/) where people can order either book individually for 35% off, or they can purchase the two books together for 40% off.

About Bob Kellemen:
Bob Kellemen, Th.M., Ph.D.: Dr. Kellemen is Academic Dean, Dean of Students, and Professor of Biblical Counseling at Faith Bible Seminary in Lafayette, Indiana. Bob is also the Founder and CEO of RPM Ministries through which he speaks, writes, and consults on biblical counseling and Christian living. Dr. Kellemen served as the founding Executive Director of the Biblical Counseling Coalition. For seventeen years, Bob was the founding Chairman of and Professor in the MA in Christian Counseling and Discipleship department at Capital Bible Seminary in Lanham, MD. Bob has pastored four churches and equipped biblical counselors in each church. Bob and his wife, Shirley, have been married for thirty-nine years; they have two adult children, Josh and Marie, and three granddaughters. Dr. Kellemen is the author of twenty books including Gospel-Centered Marriage Counseling and Gospel-Centered Family Counseling. 

Biblical Concepualization of OCD 300.3

Presence of obsessions, compulsions, or both:

Obsessions are conceptualized by the following:

Fallen World—There is empirical evidence that obsessions are strongly influenced by factors associated with living in a fallen world (i.e., brain structure, physical, emotional, or sexual abuse at a young age).   

Fear—Obsessions within this diagnosis are typically associated with perceived and potentially dreadful outcomes.  For example, becoming contaminated by germs or unbiblical ideas about being condemned by God.

Deception—Obsessions are products of a deceptive heart (Jeremiah 17:9), and are not rooted in actual, objective reality.  

Self-Focus—Since obsessions create significant distress and anxiety, they will often contribute to an excessive and extreme form of self-focus wherein the vast amount of a person’s cognitive activity and life is centered on his/her subjective reality.

Presence of obsessions, compulsions, or both:

Compulsions are conceptualized by the following:

Control—Unlike obsessions (which are involuntary), compulsions are learned behaviors that are an attempt to control one’s sense of anxiety or distress as well as perceived threats or dreadful outcomes.

Deception—Compulsions “feel” uncontrollable, but this is simply another agonizing deception of the heart that is associated with this particular diagnosis.  Additionally, compulsions ultimately do not effectively treat the haunting obsessions that create distress in people.

Folly—Defined as a lack of normal prudence and foresight (especially in reference to God). When an individual follows his/her own folly it turns his/her world upside down(Proverbs 19:3).  

Counsel may increase fear/anger/distress:
When being counseled or treated, counselees are confronted with new ways of seeing and experiencing, and this may manifest increased fear and anger.    

DSM 5 Criteria for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder 300.3

Presence of obsessions, compulsions, or both:

1. Obsessions are defined by (1) and (2)

Recurrent and persistent thoughts, urges, or images that are experienced, at some time during the disturbance, as intrusive and unwanted, and that in most individuals cause marked anxiety or distress.

 The individual attempts to ignore or suppress such thoughts, urges, or images, or to neutralize them with some other thought or action (i.e., by performing a compulsion).

2. Compulsions are defined by (1) and (2)

Repetitive behaviors (e.g., hand washing, ordering, checking) or mental acts (e.g., praying, counting, repeating words silently) that the individual feels driven to perform in response to an obsession or according to rules that must be applied rigidly.  

The behaviors or mental acts are aimed at preventing or reducing anxiety or distress, or preventing some dreaded event or situation…clearly excessive.

B. Presence of obsessions, compulsions, or both:

Compulsions are defined by (1) and (2)

Repetitive behaviors (e.g., hand washing, ordering, checking) or mental acts (e.g., praying, counting, repeating words silently) that the individual feels driven to perform in response to an obsession or according to rules that must be applied rigidly.  

The behaviors or mental acts are aimed at preventing or reducing anxiety or distress, or preventing some dreaded event or situation…clearly excessive.

This was a podcast we did earlier this year to begin the conversation regarding the diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorder with an important disclaimer. In order to re-engage the conversation of counseling people who have been highly psychologized, we wanted to review this episode to set up our episode next week regarding (OCD | Obsessive Compulsive Disorder).

Here are the notes from earlier this year on this episode. Stay tuned next week as we continue in our "unpacking diagnoses" mini series: unpacking OCD.

The disclaimer is to help pastors, biblical counselors, and lay leaders to engage the culture with this material.

– Understanding the DSM and its terms

– Not feeling intimidated by labels

– Diagnostic damnation - the label becomes the person’s identity

– Everyone has a worldview, a lense, a conceptual lens in which they view everything

– Secular psychology pushes, what does my theory say - so our theory informs our methodology

– The DSM is the bible of Psychiatry

– when we encounter these labels, we’re not counseling them, we're counseling the heart - according to scripture

In this episode, host, Mike Van Dyke sits down with Pastor and Biblical Counselor, Lee Lewis to discuss establishing mutual soul care in the local church - bringing soul care into the life and culture of the local church. They discuss the process of evaluating the culture in a church - it's care culture and discipleship culture. And asking questions that may reveal being a Sunday heavy church. Is it time to change the model of our churches? Is the current model producing disciples that are equipped to love as Christ called us to in order to show the world that we are His disciples? Episode Resources: www.soulcareconsulting.com Material: Level 1 - Transforming Mutual Care. Level 2 - Transforming Small Group Leadership

In this episode of Speak the Truth, Michael welcomes Pastor Matt MacCollin to discuss the biblical approach to responding to crisis situations in the church. Matt shares his personal testimony of overcoming a traumatic past, including substance abuse and a life-changing car accident, which ultimately led him to faith and his current role as pastor at Salem Heights Church. They delve into addressing crises such as tragic accidents, sickness, adultery, abuse, and addiction, emphasizing the importance of prayer, careful listening, and the application of Scripture in counseling. Practical advice and key biblical passages are highlighted to equip listeners in providing effective crisis care.

00:00 Introduction and Guest Introduction

00:46 Matt MacCollin's Testimony

03:31 Journey to Pastoral Ministry

05:37 Responding to Crisis Situations

08:25 Practical Steps for Crisis Counseling

15:31 The Importance of Prayer and Wisdom in Counseling

16:51 Guiding with Wisdom and Prayer

17:09 The Importance of Slowing Down

17:23 The Power of Prayer in Crisis

18:34 Scriptural Guidance for Healing

21:37 Addressing Addiction and False Worship

22:10 Handling Adultery with Compassion

24:18 Practical Applications in Counseling

26:11 The Role of Theology in Crisis

29:47 Concluding Thoughts and Encouragement

Episode Mentions
 
2026 National Called to Counsel Conference -  Register Now
The Most Excellent Way - Victory Over Addiction

Episode Notes:

Trauma-Induced Anxiety

The effects of sin

Identifying gospel gaps in the anxious heart

Concern and trouble are sinful, it's when it goes beyond that to worry and anxiety

What we do with worry either leads to trust or anxiety. And depending on where that trust is, depends on when something turns into full-blown anxiety.

Conditioned Anxiety - when one blows right past care and concern into anxiety.

Then anxious heart always puts God on trial and questions His character.

Episode Resouces:
www.bethmariebroom.com 

Episode Notes:

• what are the psalms
• how would you use it in the counseling session
• After the session for homework
• The Psalms naturally model for us a Godwardness to our prayers, thinking, suffering, and pain.
• What life is about the bible is about, and what the bible is about is what life most needs to be about.

Resources:
Counseling Through The Psalms - ABCRes

Episode Notes:

• In this episode, the hosts, Mike, Shauna, and Jeremy are joined with Author, Elyse Fitzpatrick to discuss her Home: How Heaven and the New Earth Satisfy Our Deepest Longings. And then they discuss her newest book, Worthy: Celebrating the Value of Women.

Episode Resources

• Worthy
• Home
• Sheep Among Wolves
• Elyse's Podcast - Worthy 

Episode Notes:

• ABC's aim through the certification pathway to help equip the local church - a pastor in helping shepherd the local church - but also the professional to help better apply the bible in their practice.
• Our pathway provides a foundational process in which to grow while allowing one to practically apply the truth as one learns; so our methodology creates the ability to cultivate a biblical counseling paradigm in the local church.
• The certification parameter creates a culture of accountability and provides a pathway to becoming equipped in how to apply the gospel of Jesus Christ to everyday life.
• Level 1 Certification Objectives 
  • Develop a biblical philosophy of the Christian life that includes active involvement in a community of believers.
  • Develop a biblical philosophy of counseling that emphasizes the call of all believers to take part in the work of counseling and discipleship.
  • Understand the basic meaning of biblical counseling.
  • Acquire a basic understanding of the general and specific methods of biblical counseling.
  • Cover various counseling-related issues that include depression, anger, anxiety, addiction, and sexuality.
• Level 2 Certification Objectives 
  • Develop basic practical skills in the personal ministry of God’s word with people. These basic skills include careful listening, helping people open up, conveying compassion, grace, and mercy, and guiding constructive ministry conversations.
  • Develop more advanced skills in the personal ministry of God’s word with people. These more advanced skills include responding patiently to difficult ministry conversations, discerning counseling problems from within a biblical worldview, helping people understand and apply the gospel of Jesus Christ in daily life, and more.
  • Grow in Christian maturity as a minister of the gospel. That is, learn to be humble, repentant, and dependent upon the Holy Spirit in heart and life while ministering to others.
  • Broaden your general knowledge of Scripture as it relates to life and struggles while also broadening the strategic and careful application of the Scripture to specific people and their situations.
  • Learn how to depend on the Holy Spirit during the process of change.
  • Develop a genuine love for others, and active, daily prayer life.
• Level 3 Certification Objectives 
  • Specialized training

Episode Resources:

• shauna@christiancounseling.com for more information about ways to connect with training centers

• Exercise - excerpt from the monthly (August) EquipU piece: 
  • Exercise has wonderful potential to positively impact one’s mental state in various ways. It is also important to note that while not emphasized in Western culture, exercise at root, is a spiritual activity. It is a spiritual activity because one’s motives for doing anything, including exercise, are ultimately anchored in what an individual is worshipping.
• 1 Cor. 10:31 - "Whatever you do" "do all" "to the glory of God"
• Creating a purpose statement - placing God at the center of why you do a particular activity/exercise, etc.
• Gal. 5:16-17 - competing desires
• Matt. 6:21 - what does the person value
• Eph. 4:22-24 - deceitful desires and what they can produce
• The physical and emotional benefits of exercising 
  • Endorphin release - improving sleep quality, mood and cognitive function
  • Neurotropic release - learning ability
  • Adrenal functioning - improving mod, and ability to cope with stress
• Habituation

In this episode, the hosts, Mike, Shauna, and Jeremy discuss how this ABC EquipU Resource can be used as homework in helping our counselee's see their story's hardships, sufferings, and subsequent trauma through the larger Redemptive Narrative of God. The application from the exercise with the counselee would be; Individual lives are like a sentence in a much bigger story. If people interpret reality based on their own subjective story, then they will miss the glorious story of God and His gracious, continual, and progressive work in the lives of His children. If people want to understand their suffering, their struggles, their sin, the process of change, the means to change, and the purpose for change, they must embed, and then interpret their individual stories within the context of God’s divine and redemptive narrative. Only then, does any of it have meaning, significance, and purpose.  

Previous EquipU Episodes: 
- Ep. 64 - Heart of the Matter Part2 "Put On"
- Ep. 56 - Heart of the Matter Part1 "Put Off"
Please email us at topics@speakthetruth.org with any questions or topics you'd like us to discuss. 

Episode Summary:
In this episode, the hosts, Mike & Shauna, are joined in studio with special guest, Ronnie Mills Church planter of Kingdom Chapel in North Fort Worth to discuss church planting and biblical counseling; creating biblical counseling in the DNA of a new church plant. 

Episode Notes: 

• As a podcast devoted to biblical truth for counseling & discipleship for the counselor and local church, we wanted to invite our friend, Ronnie Mills, 
• Pastor of Kingdom Chapel North Fort Worth
• Baptist Missionary Association of Texas help Ronnie launch out in their church plant
•  Kingdom Chapel is located Alliance Christian Academy 
• Biblical counseling training has greatly improved his discipleship efforts and his preaching. 
• Biblical counseling has already begun to be rooted in the DNA of the church, so we can raise up leaders through discipleship and biblical counseling to strengthen the body, and keep it healthy. 
• Email Speak The Truth about getting a biblical counseling ministry started in your church; topics@speakthetruth.org 
• 5 Resolves for soul care
• God has called me
• God has gone before me
• Pastor now - shepherd now
• Stay relative to “us”. .....
• Raise leaders - we can’t do this on our own. 
• The hardest thing about church planting is putting yourself out there. 
• Fear of man becomes a huge struggle for putting yourself out there as leaders.  

Episode Resources: 

•  Kingdom Chapel - North Fort Worth
•  Missionary Baptist Association of Texas
•  Truth Renewed Biblical Counseling
• Association of Biblical Counselors
•  Alliance Christian Academy 
• Exemplary Husband - Stewart Scott  

This episode was from last year(EP.29); hosts, Michael & Shauna, have a special guest Pastor, Andy Swart discussing; launching a biblical counseling ministry within his established church. Intentionally raising up lay leaders who love people and know God's Word to do the work of the ministry within their own body - cultivating Saints for Soul Care - the purpose of "one-anothering" in the local church. Episode Notes Moving from Planting (Metro Church) to an already established church (The Mount). Creating an environment that allows people to struggle, starting from the platform. Truth Renewed isn’t a replacement for the church regarding counseling, but an overflow of care. Truth Renewed is a training center to help equip church leaders to become biblical counselors and launch biblical counseling in the local church. Trident of ministry; robust theology, organization strategy, counsel and care. In the same way, we raise up leaders to make Sunday happen, we need to raise up care leaders for the rest of the week - where ministry lives. Don’t stop plowing, it takes time to bring life change and equipping the saints. Trust the process of sanctification. Find those in your congregation who are gifted in caring for others, they’re serious about God’s Word and the process of transformation, and scholarship them. Find a line item in your budget to cultivate the saints in soul care. The posture of a pastor should be a leader of learning. Sunday morning is to edify the saints. Email us on any topics; topics@speakthetruth.org Reach out to Shauna if you’d like to start a biblical counseling ministry @ christiancounseling.com Episode Resources: The Mount Church Metro Church Rage Ministries Instruments in the Redeemer's Hand's Christiancounseling.com Information about training your lay leaders as biblical counselors or becoming a training center, email Shauna, Shauna@christiancounseling.com

Episode Notes:

• Trey gives his perspective on the statement, #BlackLivesMatter 
  • #BlackLivesMatter was the first organization to speak up about how they felt about the mistreatment of people of color - the church didn't step up and say something needs to be done.
  • The evangelical church didn't step up and speak out against these injustices
  • I am for the statement, but I don't support the mission or values of the organization.

Episode Resources:

• Books recommended by Trey
  • Frederick Douglass: A Prophet of Freedom 
  • The New Jim Crow 
  • White Metropolis 
  • Oneness Embrace 
  • Free At Last 
  • The Next Evangelicalism 
  • Divided By Faith

Episode Notes:

• Over 80% of churches are homogenous churches; White churches, Black churches, Hispanic churches, Asian churches, etc.
• Protesting without deconstructing doesn't tare down the walls of systemic racism
• We need to research what is system racism or institutional racism and find ways to deconstruct it in our spheres of influence. Be intentional in cultivating relationships with those who don't look like us, etc.
• 
  

Episode Resources:

• The Well Church: https://www.thewellchurchkeller.org/whoarewe
• Specs Movement: http://www.thespecsmovement.com/

In this episode of 'Speak the Truth,' Michael returns with guest Kristin Silva Linder, an author and biblical counselor from Portland. The conversation delves into the theme, 'Wisdom Adorns the Shamed,' focusing on how wisdom and scriptural truths can address the impacts of trauma and shame. Kristin shares personal experiences and insights into helping individuals who feel unworthy or dirty on the inside by showing how God's promises beautify them. She discusses the importance of holding onto steadfast love and faithfulness to trust God's narrative over feelings of shame. The episode underscores that through leaning on Jesus and embodying His words, one can experience radiance, beautification, and joy despite the burdens of shame.

00:00 Introduction and Special Guest Introduction
01:23 Kristin Silva Linder's Background and Current Work
02:47 Exploring the Concept of Shame and Trauma
06:49 God's Response to Shame and Trauma
13:33 Practical Wisdom from Proverbs
18:17 Concluding Thoughts and Encouragement

A Few Points:

• There isn’t really anything available that speaks directly to laypeople, church leaders who could use it as a resource., user friendly, helpful as soon as you pick it up.
• Using this book for leadership development would be extremely useful.
• Fieldstone grew outside of the church.
• Pastors move from scripture to life and counselors are trying to move from life to scripture. -
• For pastors who are preaching week to week; if you’re trying to move from Scripture to life, all counseling is, is moving from life to scripture.
• Don’t counsel alone, bring others in with you. Reduplicate yourselves.
• An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Promote preventative ministries.

Resources From Episode"

• Park Side church
• Fieldstone Counseling
• Biblical Counseling Coalition
• Counsel for Couples

Greg Wilson discusses the nature and scope of “Domestic Violence”, defined and explained.

The church hasn’t done well in this category of ministry.

• Desecrating the image of God in another person. Where man has perverted the dominion that God gave man to rule and subdue the earth, but in man’s sinful state, he corruptly exerts power through violence. 
  • Definition: the desecration of the image of God through patterns of intentionally misusing power overtly or covertly in words or actions to gratify self.
• We need to engender a little more fear in the church to reveal the reality and frequency of it.
• Indicators of possible abuse 
  • Broadly, dominates control of emotional liberty, limiting relationships, finances, elements of control.
  • Gaslighting - convincing the other spouse that they’re crazy, and thus gaining control over the other person. Colloquially, crazy-making.
  • Triangulating tactics towards the counselor in counseling done through the perpetrator in counseling, so domestic abuse is happening in real-time in the counseling session. 
    • Covert abuse.
  • In domestic abuse cases, the counselor, if not careful, can sound like the abuser by telling the victim what they need to do.
  • Safety planning; 
    • Short term plans
    • Long term plans
  • In counseling, we need to help to rescue the oppressed, God did!
  • In the church, we need to be rescuing the oppressed, not encouraging them to stay in that situation.
• Church; care before you correct these domestic abuse cases.

Episode References:

• Soul Care Associates
• Brad HamBrick
• Chris Moles
• Darby Strickland
• Association of Biblical Counselors
• The Village Church

Show Notes:
“Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord. He is like a tree planted by the water, that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit.” Jeremiah 17:7-8

The Heart of the Matter (Put On) Series is intended for use upon thoroughly working through the Put Off portion of this series. It is designed to help you facilitate a process with your counselees wherein they are given the opportunity to prayerfully examine Scripture as it pertains to divine truth concerning their beliefs, desires, and behaviors. Below is a brief explanation of each part of this series, and each handout’s purpose within the counseling process: 

Biblical Thoughts About My Situation and Others: 

Continuing to use the heart log counselees will be instructed to identify statements on these handouts that are relevant to their current situation. These thoughts are reasoned from biblical truth, and counselees should be encouraged to dispose of deceptive thoughts (identified in the “Put Off” portion of this series), and embrace thoughts more aligned with statements on this handout. Again, dissonance may occur, and it is important to notify counselees that this is a normal part of the process. The heart’s tendency to deceive does not evaporate simply because someone begins to wage war against lies. A helpful exercise along with the Heart Log might be to have them journal why dissonance remains or why they continue to lean towards believing deception over truth. 

Biblical Thoughts About Self: 

Unfortunately many Christians deeply embrace condemning thoughts about themselves. Such thoughts minimize the beauty of the Gospel while blinding people to their deepest identities as brought forth in the Bible. This handout provides just a few statements that are most true about your counselee (assuming he/she has placed faith in the finished work of Jesus). Work through each of these statements with your counselee. Allow them to wrestle with each statement, and have them examine why they will not (or feel they cannot) embrace these gifts from our Lord. Make sure that as they assimilate these thoughts (by God’s grace) that you make these thoughts about the kindness and love of God so that pride and self-centeredness do not sabotage the intent of this exercise. Maybe have them write prayers of gratitude to God for his amazing grace. 

Biblical Thoughts to Believe (in Faith) About My Situations and Others:

While my situation is challenging, God is faithful to effectively help and strengthen me (Ps. 46:1-3). 

There is no situation too difficult for the Lord to resolve, and I will seek to glorify him in seeking resolution. Ultimately, I will seek to trust God’s purposes in Him either resolving or not resolving this issue (1 Corinthians 10:31; Proverbs 16:9). 

My situation feels like it has destroyed my life, but as long as I live I have the freedom to respond to my situation in a way that shapes and matures me so that I become more and more complete as God’s instrument of grace (James 1:1-4). 

My pain influences me to feel God is absent, but that cannot true. He is actually my refuge always present to help me in difficulty. Jesus actually lives to constantly intercede for me! (Psalm 46:1; Hebrews 6:23-25)

Rejection can be extremely painful, but I have experienced it before and was able to persevere. I survived! If I feel it’s intolerable, maybe I am putting too much trust in people while not earnestly trusting God. Jesus does not condemn or reject me in this struggle, but deeply relates to and sympathizes with me in the pain of rejection (Jeremiah 17:5-9; John 19:15; Hebrews 4:15). 

Disapproval can be difficult, but fearing people is a trap that destroys. Believing that I need approval from someone in order to thrive is not true. Exercising faith in God as my sufficient helper is the antidote to my fear (Proverbs 25:29; Hebrews 13:6). 

People don’t necessarily cause my feelings and responses (though they do influence), but often people reveal things in my heart that I need to examine. It is nice to be noticed, but demanding it as a “must” could be revealing idolatry and deceptive desires in my heart (Colossians 3:5).

Episode Resource:
Christian Counseling - Heart of the Matter Counseling Resource