Sleep like a baby? – Details, episodes & analysis

Do you have to sleep train in order for this regression to end?

Why is your baby suddenly more wakeful?

Why is there so much fearmongering out there about this stage?

In this episode I talk about the sleep science at this age as well as all the other reasons why it can be a tough patch.

If you want to know what you can do to improve the situation (without sleep training) and what red flags to look out for, I've got you.

• What if you can't imagine loving. your new baby as much as your first? How does the bond work?
• How do you do bedtime with two children (and one parent?)
• Are nap times always a disaster if your older child doesn't understand the concept of 'quiet! the baby is sleeping...'?

Helen Davies is a health visitor, PICU nurse and sleep specialist as well as a mother of four. She has 22 years of parenting experience and also runs the very funny, very real Instagram account @Essential_Parenting.

TW: domestic abuse and mental illness

In this week's episode Helen shares her story of overcoming a toxic relationship and mental health challenges. With such generous (and often hilarious) honesty, she talks about how these things have shaped her professional life - having now worked with thousands of families - as well as her mothering and personal healing experience.

We reflected on how the social media worlds of both 'gentle parenting' and sleep training can have a negative impact on new parents today with such unrealistic standards being touted as normal.

Helen and I also asked:

• Why do people say it's a trend to respond to and treat babies with respect and compassion?

• Does this age of information make us feel like bad parents when we do inevitably feel overwhelmed or burnt out?

For more about Helen her website is https://essentialparenting.co.uk/

If you're affected by any of the issues we discuss, the following links may be helpful:

• Women's Aid

• Refuge

• UK Government website

• Samaritans

• Pandas Foundation (postnatal depression awareness and support)

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If you're interested in the upcoming Night Weaning Webinars, see here:

Breastfed babies: https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=22681540&appointmentType=38787046

Bottlefed babies: https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=22681540&appointmentType=38787155

This was one of the most enlightening, inspiring episodes I've ever recorded.

Zoe Blaskey's Motherkind podcast is one of my favourite things to listen to and I just knew she would be the best person to talk to about maternal guilt and shame.

We covered the intricacies of disagreeing with your partner over different parenting choices (what do you do when one of you really wants to sleep train?). As well as how to start giving yourself validation and recognition for the invisible labour of motherhood.

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My new webinar about Starting Childcare + Sleep is here: https://littlenest.podia.com/

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Zoe Blaskey is the founder of Motherkind, a self empowerment platform for modern mums.

Through Motherkind Zoe coaches mothers of all backgrounds from Global CEO's to full time mums on how to navigate the huge challenges of modern motherhood.

Zoe hosts The Motherkind Podcast which is the UK's number one family podcast on i tunes and speaks every week to world leading experts on a range of topics from self care, mental health, career, nutrition and parenting. Zoe is has two daughters, and lives with her husband Guy in Dorset.

https://www.motherkind.co/

• Can you be a responsive parent when you've got more than one baby?

• How do you get two or three babies to sleep at the same time? Do they 'have to' self-settle?

• Is it possible to co-sleep with twins?

• And what happens if you've got a big family and the youngest is a highly sensitive soul that needs a lot of extra support?

Kathryn Stagg is an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC for short!) and qualified sleep coach. She's also a mum of four and runs the brilliant Breastfeeding Twins and Triplets group on Facebook.

https://kathrynstaggibclc.com/

https://en-gb.facebook.com/groups/BfTwinsUk/

And my new webinar (Starting Childcare + Sleep) is available to purchase here for £14: https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=22681540&appointmentType=37961409

Ever since I had my mum on this podcast, I've been desperate to ask her mum more about parenthood.

Did she choose to cry-it-out?

Was she obsessed with how her baby slept?

What were her generation's expectations of infant sleep?

This episode is a super special one to me as my 90 year old grandmother and I reflect on early parenthood - what do we have in common and what can we learn from her generation?

We really don't hold back in this week's episode!

• Is it ok to live sleep train a 4 month old baby on Instagram?

• Do paediatricians have the right to tell new parents they should leave their baby to cry it out?

• Are we shaming other mothers by saying controlled crying isn't for us?

Rachael runs HeySleepyBaby - the largest biologically-normal infant sleep account on Instagram - and as a result, she receives a lot of DMs from people who think differently to her.

So I knew she'd be the perfect person to dissect the baby sleep industry with. These are really important conversations, especially as the internet (especially social media) is now such a huge part of parenting culture.

For more about Rachael, head to heysleepybaby.com and don't miss her new baby sleep course that launches this week.

Sometimes the biggest change we can make to our family's sleep situation is to find acceptance and surrender to the present.

I sat down with Ana from The Octopus Club to talk about how she found peace and patience over her own son's sleep (and frequent waking) over the last 3 and a half years.

If you have a very wakeful baby or toddler, it can feel so lonely... and you might even blame yourself.

If we can let go of that extra burden of responsibility and guilt over how our children sleep - and understand our kids for who they are - it can be a really powerful mindset transformation.

For more about Ana and The Octopus Club - see theoctopusclub.com

If you co-sleep with your baby now, will you have to do it forever?

Are you holding your child back from independence?

And what if you WANT to do it long-term - how do you cope with other people’s opinions about that?

We also get into sex and bed-sharing, cosleeping when you have a baby as well as older children and establishing your own boundaries.

This week I was lucky enough to spend an hour in the company of Tiffany who runs Cosleepy - my favourite website and Instagram account all about bedsharing life.

Tiffany is a UCLA graduate and adventured in the television and film industry prior to parenthood. In 2020, she founded Cosleepy to help modern parents keep their babies safe and close at night. She and her husband are currently bedsharing with their two little boys in Sacramento, California.

https://cosleepy.com/

Have you ever wondered if your child's sleep is influenced by their gender?

Do baby boys wake more?

Do little girls take longer to fall asleep?

To explore this I sat down with Kirstie from Sonshine Magazine, a proudly feminist quarterly publication that explores the challenges and the joys that come with raising boys in the modern world.

If we want the world to be a more equal place for everyone, we need to think about how we raise our sons as well as how we raise our daughters.