Explore every episode of the podcast Simple on Purpose | Intentional Living and Parenting

Dearest listeners, today is the finale episode where I share with you my experience of the podcast, answer your questions and sum up the takeaways I hope you have had from listening to the podcast.  Episode topics and related links the start of the blog My C-Section & The Feelings I Was Ashamed to Admit my two main goals with the podcast how the podcast has changed me How To Find Your Enneagram Type (and how it has changed my life) Enneagram 101 (what is it and what are the nine types) anchor words (Bless It and Release It came from Stef Gass) Making life adjustments  looking at decisions through the lens of our resources You Can Simplify Your Life Series our relationship with time Don’t wait for the Golden Years (seeing gold in the every day) growing through turning off the autopilot and taking an opposite action 175. What will your future be? More of the same? Or will you turn off the autopilot? 79. Six signs you are living your life on autopilot (and what to do about it) listening to your life Listening To Your Life Show Up For Your Life [series] What I hope listeners take away from the podcast (my wishes for you) It is ok to feel your feelings all episodes on feelings are in this playlist  if you can't access that playlist, start here with 156. 3 things to know about feeling negative emotions everything is hard AND awesome 162. Think the best of me, or not. Allowing the hard and awesome in ourselves and in our lives. 207. Our judgements and assumptions of others (fundamental attribution bias and how it impacts our relationships) 201. Overcoming negative self-talk and to moving towards positive self-talk you are not alone 145. You aren’t alone mama, I go through that too 76. Why it matters what you think (limiting mindsets in motherhood) address conflict, rather than avoid it 139. Are you TOO comfortable? And what is it costing you? take care of yourself The Meeting Your Needs Series own your life I was a Mom Martyr, here’s how to tell if you are too and what to do about it Build a life based on your own definition of success, not everyone else’s definition small things matter 78. Small things that can change your whole life (the compound effect) enjoy your life When Did I Stop Enjoying My Kids? (and my journey back to enjoying them) 203. Being a mom who enjoys her life Enjoying the simple pleasures (why it is hard and how to do it) 163. Have fun with your kids, on purpose + reasons we don’t have fun Ways to stay connected Sign up for the Simple Saturdays email  Save the Spotify playlists, grouped by theme Email or DM me the topic you are looking for, I'm sure there is an episode on it and I will send it your way Of course, 1:1 coaching and counselling is available    Listener Faves This a list of episodes that listeners sent to me, as being their fave episode of the Simple on Purpose podcast The 'mom martyr' episode 67. Making motherhood harder than it needs to be (Mom Martyr) The most common search term, of late  When Did I Stop Enjoying My Kids? (and my journey back to enjoying them) Mindset for new moms  74. Show up for momlife with these empowering mindsets 73. How to deal with the emotional struggles of being a mom of babies and toddlers Letting go of our ego 162. Think the best of me, or not. Allowing the hard and awesome in ourselves and in our lives. Building a sense of capability vs a sense of control 115. A Controlling mom, or a capable mom? Hearing from moms of each enneagram type The Enneagram + Motherhood Series Various conversations around self-care The Meeting Your Needs Series Living on autopilot 139. Are you TOO comfortable? And what is it costing you?

Years ago I learned a simple tool that has improved all my relationships. This tool is about looking for the cues that others are giving us - and using those times to connect. They are called Bids For Connection, a Gottman term. I will outline what bids are, ways to respond, and how to simplify the process.  Before we jump in, 👉🏼 remember to stay connected through the Simple Saturdays email, 📧  you can sign up here.    Key points and related links What bids for connection are  Our marriage was struggling, here are 12 things that helped us heal and strengthen it When They Tell Me I’m Lucky to Have Him Why it’s worth paying attention to love languages and expectations in marriage Noticing different types of bids for connection in your partner, kids and friends Gottman's list of type of bids  Three responses to bids for connection (turning towards, away, against) Gottman research on bids and relationship success Applying bids for connection to parenting  Recognizing your own bids for connection, and unmet needs Benefits of responding to bids for connection with empathy 85. When empathy is hard in marriage and friendships 84. How parenting with empathy can transform your relationship 207. Our judgements and assumptions of others (fundamental attribution bias and how it impacts our relationships) Starting simple by noticing and responding to bids for connection Using bids to connect through presence, not just problem-solving 16. When did I stop enjoying my kids? Knowing your vision and values. The best waffles ever. 203. Being a mom who enjoys her life Full transcript (unedited) 0:00 Hey friends, it's Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend and counselor from simpler purpose.ca. Welcome to this and on purpose podcast or right away. Announcement, I mentioned probably in the emails, at least maybe on the podcast, I can't remember that I will be wrapping up the podcast for the summer. And at this point, what I am deciding to do is actually retire the podcast, at least for the time being, I just shared this in the Patreon as well, because I'll be shutting that down. The main reason is that I am taking on a new job and going to be working more hours there. So it's a matter of me just juggling the hours that I do work because I do mainly kind of work school time hours. So I need to be very discerning on the work I choose to do. And I wanted to really choose the work that I really love the most. And for me, that's a one to one clients. So I'm going to unpack this a lot more, I'm going to have a retirement party episode coming up, I'm going to ask for your input your feedback. So watch out for an email on that coming soon. If you are part of the simple Saturday's email, you will get that, if not, I recommend signing up for that I will be continuing this simple Saturday's email, I'll put a link in the show notes on that. So in light of that, I want to get to the topic. And I'm actually really excited that this is one of the final topics that I'm sharing on the podcast, because to me, it is such a great tool. And it's such a great practice to bring into our relationships. And I've been talking a lot about relationships in the Patreon this month in here on the podcast. And this is a tool that is from the goblins. If you've heard of the goblins, they are a couple of psychologists and researchers. They are a couple. And they are all so these things and they use study relationships mainly love relationships. And their training for therapists is so good. I've taken it. I've loved it. There's so many practical tools and simple concepts. And this is one of them. It is called bids for connection bids for connection and I might just call them bids. While I'm talking about this. The first time I heard about bids for connection was at a time when we were at a really challenging time in our marriage. We had a lot of walls up a lot of resentment a lot of sc...

We all make assumptions and judgments of others - but did you know there is a bias we have in our judgements? This bias shows up in all of our relationships and it can create an opposition and divide in places we actually want empathy and compassion.  In this episode we explore the Fundamental Attribution Bias, how it impacts our relationships and what to do about it.  As mentioned in the episode, you can find the Spotify playlists here, and sign up for Simple Saturdays here.  Key topics covered in this episode  The purpose of relationships, how this has shifted over generations Relationships and wellbeing: The Havard Adult Development Study  Making assumptions about others Filling in the blanks and mind-reading 199. Mindset traps to be aware of (cognitive distortions that might be holding you back in motherhood and life) Perception is a projection, how our judgements and assumptions can reflect our own struggles and opinions The Fundamental Attribution Bias How we judge the action of others vs how we judge: character or circumstance  The me vs them mentality (or Us vs Them) Examples of it in marriage 62. My husband put the groceries away wrong, he doesn’t care about me (love languages and expectations in marriage) Awareness and empathy 84. How parenting with empathy can transform your relationship 85. When empathy is hard in marriage and friendships Accepting the hard parts of ourselves 162. Think the best of me, or not. Allowing the hard and awesome in ourselves and in our lives. Getting 1:1 coaching support Book a session with Shawna here     FULL TRANSCRIPT (unedited) Hey guys, it's Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend and counselor from simple on purpose.ca Welcome to the simple on purpose podcast. I want to give you a heads up right away this podcast will retire for the summer. So just a heads up. Our summer starts at the end of June. I encourage you in those months to use the archives, we have over five years of episodes on all of the topics. So if you want to be intentional about listening to them, I suggest you use the Spotify playlists and define those, you can go to simple on purpose.ca and click listen. You'll find the links to the playlist we've got them on different topics like habit change mom on purpose, life on purpose, minimalism emotions, they're all there for you check them out. And this summer also follow along with a simple Saturday's email. If you aren't a subscriber, I definitely encourage you to join that that is just a really like, warm and cozy place that I love to be with you guys. It comes out every two weeks, so it's not gonna overwhelm your inbox. And I like to share some simple and purposes, purpose thoughts, some posts you might like. And that's actually where you guys gave me this nickname, your nerdy girlfriend. So it's a really great space to be. I'll link that in the show notes as well. Let's get into today's episode this month, we're talking about relationships. What is the purpose of a relationship? Is it to support your survival, emotional support, to entertain you to find love to find connection. This has definitely changed over the years of purpose of a relationship, especially if you look in the context of a marriage. It used to be about survival for a woman to be under the care of a man that was the world that was the culture unfortunately, it still is in some places. But even friends and communities, there was a need for support and survival, there was a need to do things together. So it is a more modern concept that our relationships are there to entertain us to make us feel loved to feel connected and seen and valued for the better and the worst, right, and that's a whole other topic. But we all know that we are a social species. And maybe some of us feel that it is definitely true, that relationships are important to us to our to our well being.

When you think you need all the things and the dream home to be happy.... then you realize you need to shed the weight of 'stuff' and consumerism in order to find yourself and find peace. Renee Benes, of the Unstuffed Podcast, shares some of her story of downsizing, decluttering the closet and what it taught her about herself and her life.    In this episode, we talk about: Renee gave up her dream home to downsize and adopt minimalism The process of decluttering the closet, letting go of those clothes that no longer fit your identity or body How to navigate an appreciation of fashion with minimalism Capsule wardrobes, seasonal clothing, shopping  The influence of social media on us and how it impacts approaches to minimalism    This episode is a portion of our interview, the rest of the interview covers topics such as: Death and loss Raising kids Scarity and abundance  And even kid’s bday presents There is audio and video available for the rest of this fun interview!    👋🏽 Find Renee at the Unstuffed Podcast and on Instagram  ☕️ Join the Simple Saturdays Email 👯‍♀️ Be part of the Life on Purpose Community      Full Transcript Speaker 1 0:00  Welcome to the simple purpose Podcast. Today we have a very unique episode. This is a guest episode, which rarely happens. And the reason you're hearing it here today is because I have recently started the Patreon the life on purpose community, and I would like to offer guest episodes in that community. So I wanted to make sure and share some of the year so you can meet Renee, who I'm talking with today. And here's some of her story. Because I enjoy her story. You'll hear me tell Renee, that I have followed her on Instagram for years. And I was really drawn to her content, because she was talking about the things I was interested in about saving money, but like just the real practical, like discomfort and stuff about saving money and shopping. And she was talking about becoming a minimalist and how it was changing her life. And she was very laid back about it. It wasn't all curated, tablescapes and rose gold and just do these three things, and your life will be simplified, and it was really relatable. So Renee has a podcast called unstuffed. And she's also an Instagram I'm gonna make sure to link are in the show notes. What you're going to hear, hear, hear, hear, what you're going to hear today is a mini version of a longer episode. There's actually two more parts to this episode one is an audio podcast, and the other is a video and those will be available on Patreon coming soon. In this episode, though, we're going to talk about downsizing, Rene's experience with downsizing our home. We're going to talk about closets and clothes and how consumerism and social media plays into all of these things about our lives and who we think we are. So I want to just jump right in. I hope you enjoy. Welcome Shawna Scafe 1:46 to the podcast. I'm so excited to have you here. Renee 1:49 Hi, Shawna. Yeah, Shawna Scafe 1:51 thanks for having me. Renee 1:52 I'm excited to sit down and chat. Yeah. Shawna Scafe 1:53 So I don't often do well, I rarely ever do guest interviews. But I've been following you on Instagram, I was telling you earlier, I found you on Pinterest started following you on Instagram some years back. And when you reached out to me, as I absolutely like I've followed you for a while, I'm going to also be sharing some of this content in the Patreon only. So this was just really inspired timing as well, in my opinion, to be doing this interview with you. So aside from that, tell us who you are. What you do you know the basics. Yeah, well, thanks. Renee 2:27 I'm so glad first of all, that you still like me from the blog? Like thanks for hanging out. But um, yeah, I started my minimalist blog in 2017. After we had just downsized our house. We downsize our house by 2000 finished square feet,

Our relationship to 'enough' can show up in all the areas of our life. Whether we struggle with discomfort, self-worth, setting limits, or offering ourselves more - we all can consider how the concept of 'enough' and 'sufficient' can play out in our minds, hearts and lives.  Key topics in this episode, and related links for more information Enough exercise for this season TRX videos in my workout playlist of videos I used and loved Setting boundaries with our phone Intentional phone habits (episode and worksheets) Having a constant need for comfort Type 9, How the enneagram changed my life Times of parenting that are so difficult and what 'enough' looks like in those seasons Difficult parenting Asking what is 'enough' when decluttering Can A Minimalist Have a Full Kitchen? Til We Have Just Enough Stuff Struggling with moderation and knowing what is too much and what is too little  Hurdles for women really knowing what is enough, for themselves. Relying on external sources to compensate our 'not-enoughness' 186. Doing life with less (summer challenge) 192. Who are you when I’m not looking (internal vs external validation) Having a mindset of 'not enough'  40. Does the ‘not-enough’ mindset show up in your momlife? (Scarcity/Abundance) You Can Simplify Your Life Series Looking at this through a faith lens   the BEMA episode on Genesis, Creation, Enough   Questions mentioned in this episode that you can use for reflection and journalling:  What relationship do I have with the terms 'enough' and 'sufficient'? How skilled to I feel at gauging 'enough' for myself? Where does scarcity show up for me? Where do I struggle to feel like I am doing enough/am enough/have enouhg? How has being online made me feel like there is something about me or my life that isn’t enough? What does the world around me, seasons and nature, teach me about 'enough'? Where do I feel like I have too much in my life? Where do I feel like I have too little in my life? Have there been times in my life when I felt a sense of 'enough'? How do I act, in the different areas of my life, when I feel like there is not 'enough'?   Looking for more? Follow along on Instagram Sign up for the Simple Saturdays email (twice a month!) Join the Life on Purpose Community  Book a session with Shawna    Full transcript (unedited) Hey friends, it's Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend and counselor. Welcome to the simple on purpose podcast. So we're coming into April. And this is a weird season. It's like an in between season for me, because summer is not here, the Speaker 1 0:18 kids are still in school. But hockey is over which hockey took up for weeknights, and most weekends. So there's a definite, like, calm period, I would say, the boys are playing more Xbox. But they also move their backboard out of the basement, which is really nice. So they're out in the yard, shooting pucks, and I kind of get the basement back again, I can put the TRX up and I can do a TRX workout, which I really enjoy the TRX it's something that you hang from the ceiling or a door and has these two straps that you can like adjust with handholds, and it's a weight trainer, there's some really great videos online that I like to do. And I always feel it after even if I'm doing like a really quick workout, like, even 20 minutes, it's all my workouts are 20 minutes. It's something that I really am enjoying, too, I think it's really important to find a way to move that you enjoy. And really one of my goals is strength training. So I'm really happy to reclaim that my basement from hockey and many sticks. And I think, I don't know, maybe this kind of nicely goes with the topic of the month, which is the theme of balance and moderation. It's something I'm going to be actively talking about in the Patreon as well as we go th...

The most common question I get is "how do you balance motherhood, life and work?". We are all seeking to have more balance in our daily lives and make sure we get everything done.  In this episode, I share my struggles with having a toddler and baby and looking for balance in my life. I share the common themes I hear from clients on the topic of balance. And I want to offer you different ways to define balance for yourself.  Main topics covered in this episode (and all the related links you might like): The Life on Purpose Community is open on Patreon Listen to a quick episode about what Patreon is and what to expect from the community Join the community here This month we are covering the topics of balance and moderation How our culture influences our definition of balance, and the societal expectations on moms, working moms and women in general How do you define balance? What has your culture told you about what balance looks like for a working mom? How does the workplace support working moms, working families?  203. Being a mom who enjoys her life The Meeting Your Needs Series 188. Motherhood & Social Media (how online communities impact your motherhood experience) 194. I stopped calling myself a lazy mom (addressing the overwhelm of motherhood) Hurdles to being a mom who has dreams and hobbies 126. The Joy of Being Mediocre (hobby without the hustle)   Both my personal experiences and working with moms tell me that we think others are finding balance but we aren't We get the sense that others have found balance and ease in their life, we don't see their struggles or inner critics.  145. You aren’t alone mama, I go through that too What I Learned While Searching for Balance in Motherhood 201. Overcoming negative self-talk and to moving towards positive self-talk   Reframing the definition of balance can bring a lot of freedom to a mom who is struggling to make vague or unattainable standards of balance in their life 189. Prioritizing the day: if everything matters nothing matters and how to apply this in motherhood 149. How to find what matters to you (uncovering your personal values) Know Where You Are Going (why vision setting matters + free LIVE YOUR VISION worksheets) 190. Planning the day: my weekly routines and rhythms for work, home and family 78. Small things that can change your whole life (the compound effect) 133. 4 simple habits that make my momlife better 175. What will your future be? More of the same? Or will you turn off the autopilot?   Looking for more? Follow along on Instagram Sign up for the Simple Saturdays email (twice a month!) Join the Life on Purpose Community  Book a session with Shawna      Full transcript (unedited) Speaker 1 0:00 Hey friends, it's Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend counselor from simple purpose.ca. Welcome back. Welcome. If you're new to the simple on purpose podcast, around here, we talk about ways to simplify your home, your heart, your life, and show up for your life on purpose. A lot of the conversations we have here on the podcast, are my aim at getting you to really step back and just kind of watch what's happening for you get awareness about yourself in your life, and how you're showing up so that you can turn off that autopilot, that reactive that default living that status quo, because if you're here, you probably want something a little bit different. You want something more intentional. And so we try to talk about being intentional in how we're showing up in how we're parenting and in how we're living our life. That's the life on purpose Park. I'm glad you're here. I'm glad you're here. So we can keep talking about all of the simple on purpose topics. And speaking of simple on purpose, how is your spring break? Was it simple? Was it on purpose? Maybe sometimes, maybe not all the time. I took our two weeks off here in BC,

There are seasons in life where we feel like we have lost ourselves, especially in motherhood. We might feel stuck and like we aren't enjoying our lives. I want to talk to how we can move 'away from pain' or 'towards pleasure',  and some simple ways we can bring delight and passion into our daily lives.  In this episode, Shawna Scafe, Professional Counsellor and Coach speaks on: The language we use to talk about passionate living, desire, enjoying life, pleasure and callings What I have learned about 'callings' and dreams Times in life we feel stuck and how that can lead to lowered motivation Making decisions from a place of stress Two types of motivation: towards and away 177. Understanding what is motivating you (chasing vs avoiding) 201. Overcoming negative self-talk and to moving towards positive self-talk Book - Pure Pleasure: Why do Christians feel so bad about feeling good?  The way our culture, upbringing and our own assumptions impact how we enjoy our life The discomfort we might feel with giving ourselves permission to enjoy our lives, especially as moms and the guilt that comes up The way martyrdom holds us back from enjoying our life 67. Making motherhood harder than it needs to be (Mom Martyr) 138. Is momlife UNFUN? How to be a more FUN MOM, stop withholding fun from yourself Start with simple things  Show up for yourself in small ways Listening to yourself  Ideas on ways to delight in your life today   The Life on Purpose Community  In this episode, I talk about the upcoming post I will be sharing in the Patreon on the topic of How to Not Lose Yourself in Motherhood. If you would like access to this bonus content and join the Patreon community, head on over to Life on Purpose Community and join us there.  Full Transcript (unedited) 0:06 All right, this is Take three. Hey, friends. It's Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend and counselor from simple on purpose.ca. Welcome to the simple on purpose podcast. See, that was easy. I don't know why it takes me so long to do that sometimes. All right, so we're getting ready here in BC. For spring break, we're gonna have spring break with the kids home for two weeks. And I think we're all excited about it, it felt like life has been really busy with extracurricular activities, hockey, all of that stuff in so we're just going to hang out with family. Hopefully conor and I will get a night away, the kids will visit their grandparents just hang out around the house, I have the idea of making everyone watch the Harry Potter movies with me and going on family walks. But my kids have different ideas. They want to bike around with friends have sleepovers, and play video games. So hopefully we can do a bit of both. Today, I want to talk to you about how excited you feel about your life. And if you're already thinking and not excited, and is that even an option. That's okay, let's talk about that, too. When I was thinking about this podcast episode, I wanted to call it something like living with more passion, or passionate living, I actually don't have a title for it yet. So we'll see what I choose. This is language that I use for myself. ' But it is interesting to think even of the word passion, if you look it up, the Latin root of that word means to endure, to suffer, undergo. But in our modern culture, we usually relate the word passion to things related to lust or being fired up, we think it's really positive and energizing feeling in general, because I was thinking about other terms I could use. One was dreaming bigger with your life. But I think some people find the sense of dreaming bigger, childish, or even like pressure that where you are isn't enough. Enjoying your life, which is a slogan, you've heard me say, this is your life, you should enjoy it. And even when I do say that, I know that it can sound maybe unattainable or out of reach,

I am going to stop spreading myself thin across the internet, and I am launching a member community in Patreon called the Life on Purpose Community. I chose this name because I want one of the overall goals of this community to be nurturing YOUR life on purpose. I want to encourage you to have passion in your life and enjoy your life.        In this episode I run through  What is a patreon? Building community and where those efforts are best spent The limits on public content vs private content Creating a space where content can be more unfiltered Being a content creator and having to decide where to spend your efforts Why I chose the name Life on Purpose Community  What exactly to expect in the Patreon If you are interested in the Patreon, learn more about it here.      Full transcript (unedited) 0:08 Hey friends it's Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend a counselor from simple on purpose.ca Welcome to the simple on purpose Podcast. Today is just a quick episode where I want to come in and share with you about something that I Low-key mentioned the last episode and that is the life on purpose community Patreon. So I mentioned it in Episode 201 that I was having a follow up episode to that podcast in the Patreon and I realized I know it's not something I shared officially about. So here we are, we're gonna do that right now. First of all, a question I get often is what is a Patreon? Patreon is a term for the app or the website. It's the program the program that is used to host a private members only community and many podcasters will talk about their Patreon. And often their Patreon is a place where you get extra podcast episodes that are private. So members in the Patreon can take a special URL from their Patreon group, add it to their podcast player and you can listen to the private Patreon episodes in whatever podcast player you use iTunes overcast Google podcasts. So Patreon is that platform. If you subscribe to someone's Patreon, then you can view everything they share in the community, you can comment on things, you can watch any special videos that they have shared, any special trainings, downloads, you can be part of the chat there, get the private episodes, whatever they have in their Patreon community. So that's what Patreon is, I am part of a couple of Patreon I, especially for their private podcast episodes. That's something that I was drawn to for these specific podcasts I wanted the deeper content that they had. And I take that podcast URL, I put it in my apple podcasts. And I get those private podcast episodes in my normal podcast player. It's great. As I'm talking about this, I think the first thing I want to talk about is community because to me, that's why I'm here. Back in 2020, I was running the life on purpose Academy, it was a member community, it was a coaching community, I had monthly lessons and weekly coaching calls, it was a higher price point. And every week, many of the same women depending on who could make the call, they would come onto this call, they would share their struggles, their issues, their questions, they would share support with each other in the chat. And it was one of my favorite things that I have done. It was warm and intimate. And there was so much growth that happened there. 2:48 At the end of that year of running that community, I did close the program for one, the workload had become a bit unmanageable with the way I had set it up. And I was also heading back to school. However, since then, I knew I just kept coming back into my mind that I wanted to have a community again, you know those things that you know, you're just gonna do them no matter what. It's just a matter of when and not if, to me, that's what creating a community is. Over the years, and one of the ways I actually tried to do that was the Facebook group. In the Facebook group, the simple on purpose community, I have shared a lot over the years I've shared tours of...

Negative self-talk can our work-life balance or ability to manage parenting challenges. In this episode, Shawna Scafe, Counsellor and Coach, discusses how to identify common cognitive distortions and challenge them to help rewire your self-talk to be more empowering and motivating.      This episode is a follow-up to the introduction on Cognitive Distortion (Episode 199). Listeners sent in examples of situations in their day where they struggle with positive self-talk. In each example, I point out what cognitive distortion might be at play and offer some questions to open up awareness of other ways to talk to yourself.  Topics and related links covered in this episode normalizing the struggle with self-talk how negative self talk impacts us, vs how positive self-talk impacts us three things to know about how our brain works when it comes to negative self-talk using CBT to reframe self-talk (and cautions about using it as an emotional bypass) 156. 3 things to know about feeling negative emotions Scenarios covered in this episode: The inability to feel good enough at work or at home - the inability to properly balance either to the point of feeling like you could possibly be proficient in both. Window of tolerance mentioned, you can hear more about it in the Meeting Your Needs series When you have many littles, don’t get enough sleep often and are sleepy grumpy during the day and can’t seem to shake it! 74. Show up for momlife with these empowering mindsets 73. How to deal with the emotional struggles of being a mom of babies and toddlers 162. Think the best of me, or not. Allowing the hard and awesome in ourselves and in our lives. When you work so hard to get everything done, just to start over again. And when you’re feeling annoyed at your family Byron Katie Hunt, Gather, Parent    Joining the NEW Patreon, the Life on Purpose Community! The scenarios covered in the follow-up Patreon Episode: When you just can’t get to that workout/assignment/project Walking into a room with confidence when insecurities seek to make you feel less than or unwelcome in a group setting. When I’m tired or sick - I find it difficult to not feel lazy when I want to rest. And though I know I should rest - it’s hard! When I'm procrastinating but have a work deadline looming Making it through long, cold winter days without much social interaction. It's so cold that I literally go to work and come home. I'm a teacher and don't have a ton of adult interaction during my days and I feel like the winter blues are getting the best of me. EPISODE TRANSCRIPT 0:06 Hey friends is Shawna your nerdy girlfriend and counselor from simple on purpose.ca Welcome to the Simple on Purpose Podcast. Guys. How is it March? How is where did February go? Okay, February felt like a blur of hockey. I've been setting up a new office to do some local sessions and getting that painted and all set up and I just look up and suddenly it's March. Oh yeah, by the way, I had a kid turn 13 last month too. Isn't that crazy? What's also crazy is that means I've been sharing with you guys for almost 13 years because the very first thing I ever posted way back on a blog spot called duck tail blog was the story of my C section. And I had a lot of big feelings about it. A lot of disappointment and frustration and anger and and nurse had recommended that I write about it. That was the first blog post that really started this whole online community online relationship that we were able to develop and how it's grown, how we've changed how we've grown together. And now we're talking about things like cognitive distortions and motherhood and mindsets and just really keep digging in deeper and peeling off the layers and going deeper together, which I just I cherished so much, that you guys are on this journey with me and we can do it together. Alright,

As a way to celebrate 200 episodes and 5 years together, I asked listeners for their questions on any topic. In this episode, I'm answering questions on the most important question to ask when decluttering, abundance vs scarcity mindsets, motherhood stages and seasons, and more from AMA (Ask Me Anything) questions Here are the questions that I answered in this episode, and related links to posts and episodes that you might like: DECLUTTERING 1. What is the most important thing to consider when trying to declutter as an Enneagram type 7? Enneagram 101 (what is it and what are the nine types) Enneagram + Motherhood Series 143. How to let go of IDENTITY CLUTTER 90. Declutter ‘what if I need it one day?’ items from your home with THIS shift 111. Decluttering decisions and guilt [Q+A] 110. Our relationship with stuff, and other decluttering questions MINDSETS 2. How to develop a positive mindset when dealing with a chronic illness or health worries of family members? 3. Did you always have an abundance mindset? If not, when did it change and how do you nurture it? (LISTEN) 40. Does the ‘not-enough’ mindset show up in your momlife? (Scarcity/Abundance) (READ) The ‘not-enough’ mindset (how to spot a scarcity mindset and shift it to an abundance mindset) 177. Understanding what is motivating you (chasing vs avoiding) SIMPLE ON PURPOSE 4. What has changed since starting the podcast? What is the purpose of the podcast now? 5. What is your main source of inspiration for your work? MOTHERHOOD 6. What's something you're loving about your family's ages, stages and dynamics right now? 190. Planning the day: my weekly routines and rhythms for work, home and family 7. How can I best parent my middle child? 163. Have fun with your kids, on purpose + reasons we don’t have fun When Did I Stop Enjoying My Kids? (and my journey back to enjoying them) 8. How do I know if our family is meant for another baby? FUN AMA 9. What is your favourite book? Books mentioned: The Glass Castle, Outlander, The Nightingale 10. What are you manifesting right now? 11. What's on your bucket list?     Working with Shawna, learn more here  The Simple Saturdays email, sign up here The Simple on Purpose Community, join here Instagram, come say hi!     Full transcript (unedited) 0:11 Welcome to the simple purpose Podcast. Today is our 200th episode. And for this episode, I wanted to make it really collaborative. So I went to Instagram and Facebook and email. And I asked for questions. I wanted this to be a q&a episode, where you are kind of opening it up and asking the things that have been on your mind, things you've wanted to ask me things you are interested in. So we've got a range of topics. We've got decluttering, and mindsets and motherhood, all my favorite topics. And I couldn't get to everything. So if you don't hear your question answered here, hopefully, I'm going to address it in an email in the Facebook group or in a future episode. Let's just jump in. The first one is on decluttering, what is the most important thing to consider when trying to declutter, I'm a type seven, and this person is referencing the Enneagram, that they are a type seven on the Enneagram. For those who have never heard of it, the Enneagram is a self discovery tool. It addresses our strengths, our stress habits, and something that makes it different is it addresses our motives as well. It's a tool that I use with clients who are interested, I have a lot of posts and episodes on it, I'll make sure to link those. A type seven is someone who avoids negative feelings and pursues the things that make them feel good. So it's going to look a little bit different for each person. But that type seven does has have the stereotype of being enthusiastic moving on to the next thing. And if you're a type seven, you might get distracted and never finish when it comes to decluttering.

How we talk to ourselves matters. I was asked to share an episode on positive self-talk and want to open up with a review of the common mindset traps (cognitive distortions) we can have. By noticing these cognitive distortions we can better understand how we might be holding ourselves back and the impact our thinking can have on our lives and relationships. I will share the common cognitive distortions, what they are, and some examples that we might have in motherhood and life.      Topics in this episode and related links you might like: Habit tracking for the new year Habit Change, for Moms Playlist is right here) Positive self-talk consider what story and emotion are you operating from Why it matters what you think (limiting mindsets in motherhood) What are cognitive distortions The negative filter we see things through How cognitive distortions impact our assumptions and view of things  How they impact our behaviours, relationships and lives  Common cognitive distortions (wallpaper download form is below) All or Nothing  Our marriage was struggling, here are 12 things that helped us heal and strengthen it 162. Think the best of me, or not. Allowing the hard and awesome in ourselves and in our lives. Overgeneralization  158. MVP/ Do you typecast your kids? How labels impact our parenting and our children Catastrophizing Personalization Jumping to Conclusions Mindreading misFortune Telling  Emotional Reasoning Should Statements Discounting the Positive  Minimize the positive Focus on the negative How to handle cognitive distortions how to pay attention to your thoughts, challenge your thoughts, the power of noticing and naming    The cognitive distortion downloads/wallpapers, if you can't see the sign up box then click here @import url("https://assets.mlcdn.com/fonts.css?version=1705921"); /* LOADER */ .ml-form-embedSubmitLoad { display: inline-block; width: 20px; height: 20px; } .g-recaptcha { transform: scale(1); -webkit-transform: scale(1); transform-origin: 0 0; -webkit-transform-origin: 0 0; height: ; } .sr-only { position: absolute; width: 1px; height: 1px; padding: 0; margin: -1px; overflow: hidden; clip: rect(0,0,0,0); border: 0; } .ml-form-embedSubmitLoad:after { content: " "; display: block; width: 11px; height: 11px; margin: 1px; border-radius: 50%; border: 4px solid #fff; border-color: #ffffff #ffffff #ffffff transparent; animation: ml-form-embedSubmitLoad 1.2s linear infinite; } @keyframes ml-form-embedSubmitLoad { 0% { transform: rotate(0deg); } 100% { transform: rotate(360deg); } } #mlb2-12138647.ml-form-embedContainer { box-sizing: border-box; display: table; margin: 0 auto; position: static; width: 100% !important; } #mlb2-12138647.ml-form-embedContainer h4, #mlb2-12138647.ml-form-embedContainer p, #mlb2-12138647.ml-form-embedContainer span, #mlb2-12138647.ml-form-embedContainer button { text-transform: none !important; letter-spacing: normal !important; } #mlb2-12138647.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper { background-color: #f6f6f6; border-width: 0px; border-color: transparent; border-radius: 4px; border-style: solid; box-sizing: border-box; display: inline-block !important; margin: 0; padding: 0; position: relative; } #mlb2-12138647.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper.embedPopup, #mlb2-12138647.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper.embedDefault { width: 400px; } #mlb2-12138647.ml-form-embedContainer .ml-form-embedWrapper.

What does it mean to live on purpose? This is a question I get from listeners who want to live intentionally but aren't sure how to apply it to daily life (as a mom, because mom life has a lot of urgency and autopilot wrapped into it).  I want to unpack how I approach intentional living on a daily basis as well as the bigger picture.    This is a listener question: how do we live each day with intention and purpose?  We will cover what holds you back from intentional living and how to get started with simple steps. Main topics covered in this episode (and related links): Feeling unmotivated with life For the mom who is ‘waiting’ for life to happen 177. Understanding what is motivating you (chasing vs avoiding) Feeling swept up in routine and living on autopilot  79. Six signs you are living your life on autopilot (and what to do about it) Deciding you are ready to make a change and pursue intentional living The Making Change Challenge Decluttering the distractions, to make way for living intentionally 189. Prioritizing the day: if everything matters nothing matters and how to apply this in motherhood 161. Why having LESS matters, the benefits of decluttering and minimalism Intentional Phone Habits Series The Eisenhower matrix (important/non-important, urgent/non-urgent) can help you set daily focus  Looking out for all-or-nothing thinking when it comes to approaching life on purpose The power of small shifts done consistently, to help you shift into intentional living 78. Small things that can change your whole life (the compound effect) 133. 4 simple habits that make my momlife better Setting your intention starts with getting to know what you want your life to look like 176. When you don’t know what you want in life. Life on purpose for the non-dreamer Having a vision to be intentional towards, what this can look like and tools you can try Know Where You Are Going (why vision setting matters + free LIVE YOUR VISION worksheets) Deciding what your future holds, on purpose and not on autopilot 175. What will your future be? More of the same? Or will you turn off the autopilot? Having more fun with life on purpose 138. Is momlife UNFUN? How to be a more FUN MOM, stop withholding fun from yourself Knowing your values is key to feeling like you are living intentionally How to get that feeling (why values matter + free LIVE YOUR VALUES worksheet) 149. How to find what matters to you (uncovering your personal values) Aligning your action with your values 69. Will a simpler home bring me peace? Other tools you can use to help you live your life on purpose The Life on Purpose Workbook Life on Purpose Roadmap   As mentioned in this episode: The enneagram was referenced, here is a series on the Enneagram + Motherhood  Hygge was mentioned, here is a post called Hygge vs Minimalism The Spotify Playlists for all Simple on Purpose episodes right here.  The Let's Get More Time Virtual Summit, registration opens in February  The Facebook group, a place for you to share thoughts and questions and support    Full Transcript 0:00 Hey friends, it's Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend and counselor from simple on purpose.ca. Welcome back to 2024 with the simple on purpose podcast. 0:09 So it's been a while I think my last episode was about a month ago. And I was in that winter break mode with the kids home and I took time off work. And it was really cozy and Heuga relaxing. We had lots of slow mornings, we had lots of stick and Puck that the kids were going to during the day and movies on the couch. 0:32 So coming back to the routine, the routine of school lunches, and after school drop offs and pickups and I tell you that like second shift for me that three to 8pm, maybe three to nine, by the time everyone's in bed,

This is part 2 of the situations that can feel tough around the holidays. We explore how we deal with grief, family dynamics and clashes and ways we can take care of ourselves and look for ways to enjoy what is available to us. Tips from a counsellor to consider for the holiday season.      Main topics of this episode: Part 1 unpacked topics like anticipatory anxiety, routines, loneliness, overspending and transitions  196. When The Holidays Feel Hard (stress, anxiety, loneliness, overspending, transitions)- tips from a Counsellor Dealing with grief over the holidays When you need permission to grieve The 4 tasks of grieving Canadian Grief Support mygrief.ca Family dynamics Owning your own values  149. How to find what matters to you (uncovering your personal values) Family roles  8 common family roles 134. Do you typecast your kids? (Labels + how they impact our parenting and our kids) Boundaries help maintain a relationship vs barriers which block a relationship Knowing when to use each one Coping well, taking care of your capacity over the holidays  The Meeting Your Needs Series Bringing the fun with you, you are allowed to enjoy moments 162. Think the best of me, or not. Allowing the hard and awesome in ourselves and in our lives. Finding Joy In Your Every Day (#theperfectmomentsproject) 163. Have fun with your kids, on purpose + reasons we don’t have fun Five Tips to Make Your Christmas Simpler and More Enjoyable When Did I Stop Enjoying My Kids? (and my journey back to enjoying them) Sign up for the Simple Saturdays email here   FULL TRANSCRIPT (unedited) 0:10 Hi, It is Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend counselor from simple on purpose.ca Welcome to the simple on purpose podcast. And I'm just going to jump right into it. This episode is a follow up to 196 When Christmas feels hard, in that we introduced the concepts of making one shift for yourself this Christmas in the US things that feel hard. And we talked about anticipatory anxiety that you might be feeling stressed around the lack of routine, the pressures that we feel on Christmas spending money, being alone at Christmas being in a time transition. So those were all really great intros in situations that were shared. And I'm going to pick up and continue on with the topics of grief, family dynamics and boundaries. So the topic of grief was shared in the scenarios that women shared about the things that feel hard at Christmas. So there are things that we are grieving, we might be grieving this deed of the world right now, we might be grieving, a loss of what we thought this year would be. Maybe we're walking through a loss a loss of a person that you love, a loss of a relationship, a loss of a family, or friends system as you knew it. And if if someone has lost someone in the recent years, they're going through these seasons of life without that person for the first time. If someone has had a divorce or changes in their family, even if it was wanted, they're still left with this blank space that was once filled with familiar patterns and people and traditions they could rely on. And they know there are people grieving losses that happened over the past few years and didn't really get a chance to mourn during COVID Things have gone unaddressed. And new griefs can trigger old griefs. I wanted to share an experience that I had with grief around Christmas time. A few Christmases ago, during COVID, my mom had what was suspected to be a mini stroke, and she already had dementia. So from this, she was put into the hospital and then moved into a care facility. But at that time when it first happened, and she was in the hospital, she couldn't talk. She wasn't very responsive. She had to be spoon fed, she was in a wheelchair. And this was such a dramatic contrast to where she had just been. I mean, my dad had taken care of her for years.

I asked listeners to share the tough scenarios they expect to encounter during the holidays and Christmas. I will start with Part 1, going through the themes of scenarios and sharing an idea on a shift you can try to make this season, from a counsellor's perspective.  The goal is to give you some tools on how to handle the reality that life can still be hard and things can feel tough, especially around this time of year.   The interview with Brandi Hofer of Colour Me Happy Community  On Youtube - Brandi Hofer Studios On the podcast - Colour Me Happy Community   Main topics covered in this episode: The expectations of Christmas/The Holidays vs the emotions we carry as humans 156. 3 things to know about feeling negative emotions Anticipatory anxiety, one way to deal with it 174. Christmas hygge ideas + understanding how the window of tolerance impacts your stress in motherhood Tough scenarios during the holidays, lack of routines 115. A Controlling mom, or a capable mom? Overspending to make the holidays FEEL good 141. When shopping isn’t making your life better (mindful and minimalist tips for shopping) Being alone or missing family during the holidays Times of transition during the holidays  67. Making motherhood harder than it needs to be (Mom Martyr) Simple Christmas (all posts here)   FULL TRANSCRIPT 0:10 Hey friends, it's Shawna Scafe, your nerdy girlfriend and counsellor from simple on purpose.ca I thought I would add my last name in there because I never say it and you're probably reading it and don't really know how to pronounce it. So nice to meet you guys. My Instagram used to be Shawna Scafe. But the way it was written everyone thought it was Sean is cafe. And people were genuinely wondering where my cafe was. And that would be so dreamy to have a cafe so but I don't, I don't have a cafe. So I just changed my instagram name to simple on purpose. Anyways, here you are, you're at the simple and purpose podcast. Welcome. And today has been a really busy day. This morning, I did an interview with brandy Hofer. She is a Canadian artist. She's a muralist. She's a portrait artist. She's an educator, she's a speaker, and I have followed her work for actually a lot of years now. And I just love her work. It's so beautiful. It's like a feast for the heart. It's just so wonderful. And I recently had commented on one of her Instagram posts, and she wrote me right back, and she asked me to come on your podcast, which was so cool. On one hand to be asked, because I just admire her so much. And on the other hand to realize she had a podcast, I hadn't missed that in the Instagram algorithm. So I said, Yes, I started listening to her podcast, it's called Color Me happy, which is also the name of her book that I just ordered. I'm excited about it. Because the more you talk to her and the more you listen to her podcast, the more you see just how have a real deal. She is like genuine, honest, open and passionate, like you can feel her passion for what she does, and for empowering other women. So her podcast is about being a community for motherhood and art, you don't have to be an artist to listen to it really like I listened to it. And it's women talking about issues that women deal with in different areas of entrepreneurship and motherhood. So I'm gonna link her in the show notes, I recommend following her everywhere, and getting your book in follow your podcasts, especially because she's Canadian. And we let just love fellow Canadians around here, don't we? So then, after I did that, I went to put on my long johns, because there's snow here today walk down to my kids school, because they're all in the same school this year. And because they're in the same school, I thought I should probably help out, I should be more involved. So I signed up to become a noon hour supervisor, which as I say it, I'm like,

A major hurdle that many of us moms to rest is the underlying belief that we need to 'earn our rest'. In this episode, Professional Counsellor and mom of three unpacks how this belief impacts our abilities to rest well, our relationships and our coping habits.      This episode is in follow-up to Episode 194. I stopped calling myself a lazy mom  In this episode, we discuss topics such as: relaxation vs pseudo-rest, burnout opportunity costs, and how we insert ourselves into the equation 188. Motherhood & Instagram Culture (how online communities impact your motherhood experience) 189. Prioritizing the day: if everything matters nothing matters and how to apply this in motherhood the cultural views on motherhood, being lazy, and earning rest how we apply the logic of 'earning rest', seeking external validation, martyrdom 67. Making motherhood harder than it needs to be (Mom Martyr) 192. Who are you when I’m not looking (internal vs external validation) the escape hatch, dealing with our feelings 185. Emotional needs in motherhood (what they are and how to meet them) 142. What will change cost you? (Paying the status quo or investing in change) Show up for your life getting the cycle backwards between rest and hard work the Instagram post you all loved about rest the cycle of hyper-productivity then crashing meeting your needs the series is right here  Join the Simple Saturdays newsletter right here    FULL TRANSCRIPT 0:00 Hey friends, it's Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend counselor from simple on purpose.ca. Welcome to the simple and purpose podcast. 0:17 So if you're new here, welcome. I am Shawna, I am a mom of three kids in Canada, I am a counselor. And my aim is to equip you with tools and ideas and insights that help you live more simply and more intentionally, in all the areas of your life. 0:31 So this episode is a follow up to the last episode where I was unpacking that concept of asking yourself in moments where you are finding yourself with a desire to relax, am I being lazy? Or am I overwhelmed, because when we can differentiate between the two, we can handle it accordingly. 0:48 When we're overwhelmed, we've maxed out we've reached capacity. And I've talked about that window of tolerance. That's that range where we feel a sense of resource and ability to deal well with the day in all its demands. being overwhelmed takes us out of that window of tolerance. And we have this dilemma of actually being worn out and needing rest. But then that voice comes in that says, if you're resting, you're lazy, you should be doing this or that. 1:09 So in that moment, we have a choice, we can be lazy, or we can go and get more things done. One leads to guilt fueled pseudo arrest, the other leads to even more burnout. 1:20 A concept I've shared over the years is the concept of opportunity cost. And that is the acknowledgement that when we say yes to one thing, we say no to the other, and vice versa. 1:30 For example, if I say yes to a day of work, and all that comes with it, career advancement, maybe job satisfaction, a wage, etc, then I say no to maybe being a stay at home, parent, and all the stuff that would happen then if I was a stay at home parents, someone's there to do chores, make meals, childcare, whatever, vice versa, there's no wrong choice. I'm just saying these simple choices, we are weighing against our own values and goals have a cost on either side. 1:56 But as moms when it comes to the opportunity cost of rest. We live in a culture where we have put ourselves into the transaction. 2:04 We tell ourselves this math, if I say no to me, resting, I say yes to getting more stuff done. And since I live in a culture where busy is glorified, I should choose that. Or vice versa. If I say no to getting stuff done, I'm saying yes to me being a lazy mum.

Do you ever find yourself trying to rest or relax and get this nagging voice telling you that you are being lazy? As moms, this can be a nightly experience, when we finally get the kids down and would like to unwind. Instead, our R&R gets hijacked by this notion that if we aren't doing chores, hobbies, exercise, etc then we are being lazy.  But, odds are you are NOT a lazy mom, rather you are overwhelmed.      In this episode we cover some of these topics (and related links you might like): The original blog post When I realized I wasn’t a lazy mom, I was just overwhelmed Naming our experience The power of naming our emotions (how affect labelling can improve your emotional intelligence) Societal expectations on moms 188. Motherhood & Instagram Culture (how online communities impact your motherhood experience) Self-definition (limiting identities) 76. Why it matters what you think (limiting mindsets in motherhood) Three ways we are exhausted during the day Physical exhaustion Emotional exhaustion, mirror neurons, our kids' emotions 117. Emotional Intelligence 101 (and by Enneagram Type) 119. Tolerating tough emotions in our kids (and ourselves) 113. Why you aren’t thriving in motherhood (stress and surviving) Mental exhaustion, mental load, decision fatigue 144. How to lighten the mental load of DECISION FATIGUE The counter-argument of 'just be more organized' 11 Things That Make My MomLife Simpler 133. 4 simple habits that make my momlife better How do we handle this voice telling us that we are lazy Window of tolerance understanding how the window of tolerance impacts your stress in motherhood 153. How to move from ambivalent to ambitious (making change takes more than just willpower) Knowing when you are overwhelmed and when you are feeling lazy 180. Self-care, self-comfort, self-love & what we have learned from our mothers 129. Does your ‘to-do list’ overwhelm you? Expectation overwhelm and how to handle it. Get the wallpapers for the Beautiful Words Episode right here  All of the Simple Christmas posts are right here    FULL TRANSCRIPT 0:00 Hey it's Shawna, you're near to go find a counselor from simple on purpose.ca. Welcome to the Simplon purpose podcast. 0:17 So it's December guys we made it is December. And today when I'm recording this, it's snowing in BC, which I know what's going to make it beautiful here, except I have to drive out of town for a hockey tournament. So That's never fun to be driving through these kinds of conditions. But hey, that's the life of a Canadian parent with a kid in winter sports, traveling through all the conditions, bringing all the snacks and the vitamins and the gear is just like a whole thing, isn't it? 0:42 So we're in December, many of us are thinking about Christmas planning for it, whatever you're celebrating, we're thinking about it. And I do like to share content that is seasonally relevant. And often I would share a lot of posts about Christmas. But I've shared so much in the past that I'm not going to rehash all of it. Again, I'm just going to lead you to the archives of all of the posts all of the episodes about all of the things when it comes to simplifying Christmas, and having your Christmas be intentional and purposeful in something that you just show up for and enjoy. So stop by the link in the show notes for a little landing page for all of that. 1:19 I'm going to talk about a well loved post that I shared a few years back called I stopped calling myself a lazy mom. And when I wrote it, I was writing it from that experience of feeling like I was momming hard all day long, three small kids. 1:34 Just reminder, my kids now are 12,11, and nine. So when they were all at home, they were all like close in age and it was like hot, hot and heavy situation.

Words are incredibly powerful, they can communicate exactly what you are thinking, feeling, wanting, needing, in sometimes as little as a single sentence. But that only works when we understand ourselves and have the vocabulary necessary to name our lives. Join me today as I talk about nine beautiful words from other cultures that capture the heart of simple and intentional living and discuss how they can influence your life.     Naming our experience  The power of naming our emotions (how affect labelling can improve your emotional intelligence) 117. Emotional Intelligence 101 (and by Enneagram Type) The Facebook Community Group  Hygge Hygge vs Minimalism Three ways to bring hygge into your daily life 174. Christmas hygge ideas + understanding how the window of tolerance impacts your stress in motherhood 30 Ways to Hygge When It Is Cold Outside   Lagom 164. How I am finding balance in my life this year 189. Prioritizing the day: if everything matters nothing matters and how to apply this in motherhood   Sisu 11. The Finnish Way (sisu) + Do we need so much pantry space? 49. Facing change and uncertainty with a growth mindset 139. Are you TOO comfortable? And what is it costing you? 15 Practical Tips for Moms to GET STUFF DONE   Kaizen 78. Small things that can change your whole life (the compound effect) 11 Things That Make My MomLife Simpler 133. 4 simple habits that make my momlife better 150. A new approach to habit change: routine and habit refinement 3. Brain dump, kid’s clothes storage, minimum baseline to change habits. 175. What will your future be? More of the same? Or will you turn off the autopilot?   Meraki 192. Who are you when I’m not looking (internal vs external validation) For the mom who is ‘waiting’ for life to happen 176. When you don’t know what you want in life. Life on purpose for the non-dreamer Hurdles to being a mom who has dreams and hobbies 191. Are you idling on your goals or moving them forward (passive action vs massive action) 163. Have fun with your kids, on purpose + reasons we don’t have fun   Simple Christmas, and The On Purpose workbooks The Simple Christmas Planner All the Simple Christmas posts Life on Purpose Academy All of the On Purpose Workbooks   Sign up for the the Simple Saturdays email (a fun email, twice a month) 📱GET THE WALLPAPER downloads for the words discussed in this episode   FULL TRANSCRIPT  0:10 Hey friends, it's Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend and counselor from simple on purpose.ca. Welcome to the simple on purpose podcast. 0:18 So welcome new friends, old friends, this is a podcast for anyone looking to be more intentional with how they're living. And we talk about ways that you can declutter the home, the heart, the life, in order to make space to get rid of the distractions and the clutter and make space for the important things, the things that matter to you. 0:37 And to let you know who I am, if you're new here, I'm Shawna. I am a Canadian. And I am a mom of three as well as a counselor. And I've been blogging for about a decade at simple on purpose, where we talk about decluttering intentional living and motherhood and I offer coaching and counseling services. Online. I'm an online counselor if you are looking for an online counselor coach. 0:59 Alright, so today I want to share some of my favorite words with you. And these are not English words. But these are words that you might have seen floating around the internet, and maybe you haven't heard some of them. They are words that I've picked up through the years. And I've probably shared about some of them, and I've just pondered on them. And I'm sharing these specific words, there's going to be nine of them for two reasons. 1:20 The first reason is that they are words that embody a lot of the concepts,

We live in an audience-performer culture it is hard to know which decisions we are making for ourselves and which ones we are making for others. What you buy differently, how would you spend your time differently, how would you be differently without feeling like the world is watching?     In this episode: The song that started it all: "Who Are You When I'm Not Looking" by Blake Shelton  How hard it can be to 'play' as an adult 126. The Joy of Being Mediocre (hobby without the hustle) Doing things for an outcome Fashion, identity, and societal influences  Simple style posts (capsule wardrobes, 30for30 challenge, dressing your age) Spending habits The Audience-Performer culture of social media  Influencers in the wild (article on it here) What is sacred vs what is for sharing online Our lives as content, for external validation and approval  Being part of society, while also being ourselves 188. Motherhood & Instagram Culture (How Online Communities Impact Your Motherhood Experience) Being valuable and fitting in Learning self-definition through the reflection of others Moving from external validation to internal validation   134. Do you typecast your kids? (Labels + how they impact our parenting and our kids) Women and beauty standards of our culture  What does it mean to be a woman when no one is looking? Making decisions that are true to you and your passions and preferences, how to get started in small ways Validating the little things for yourself    Connect! Make sure to share your thoughts and questions in the Simple on Purpose community facebook group! What would you like to hear about when it comes to the topic of Simple Living? Sign up for the the Simple Saturdays email (a fun email, twice a month)     Full transcript (unedited) 0:10 Hey friends, it's Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend and counselor from simple on purpose.ca. Welcome to the simpler purpose podcast. Around here we talk about ways to simplify your home, your heart and your life. So my aim is to help us all slow down, quiet the noise, remove the distractions and just look up for a minute at your life and consider what you want to keep and what you want to let go of. 0:35 So this week, I'm a little under the weather, I took a sick day yesterday. And that actually worked out well because one of my kids needed a soul care day. So we took it slow together, we each took turns having a hot salty bath with a TV show on the iPad and warm drinks. We did some brain dumping on paper, you know, get out all those stressful thoughts and feelings inside, listen to music went and bought vitamins. It was a it was kind of a beautiful day, even though I didn't feel great. And I think hot, salty baths, match that with a coffee and an Advil, boom, this is this is why I'm here right now, I can make some progress over the next four hours of my day. And then I'm probably going to move on to burgers and a hot toddy. Because I'm pretty sure that's the cure for a cold. And I should be good by tomorrow. I'm sure of it, I'm sure of it. 1:25 So today I want to talk to you about a concept that has just been rattling around in the back of my brain for years now. And it's a notion that I like to hold up to the different areas of my life. And just consider how it shows up in these different areas. So I think about it often. And I wanted to share it here because I think it might be interesting to you maybe even helpful for you too. And I'm going to share this concept by sharing some quick stories. I promise they're all gonna end up going in the same direction. But it's a little bit of circle time vibes right now. So go get a pillow and a coffee meet me on the circle rug. 2:02 On a cold Canadian day in February, almost 13 years ago, I was in early labor with my first child. My husband was driving us to the hospital in the hospitals over an ...

When we think about the motivation we have to take action, we can sometimes take action that is more passive. The type of action that feels productive but doesn't quite move us in a forward direction. This concept from Brooke Castillo contrasts passive action and massive action.    In this episode, I discuss topics such as: How simplifying the home leads to an aim for intentional living living intentionally and overcoming complacency self-motivation and limiting beliefs the concept of passive action vs massive action the discomfort of taking action The upcoming workshop on motivation can be found right here at the Life on Purpose Academy  Related episodes you might like 140. Give your discomfort a purpose #uncomfortableonpurpose 139. Are you TOO comfortable? And what is it costing you? 175. What will your future be? More of the same? Or will you turn off the autopilot? Two Months In To The #onesmallhabit Challenge Sign up for the the Simple Saturdays email (a fun email, twice a month)   Full Transcript (unedited) 0:11 Hey friends, it's Shawna, your nerdy Brooklyn counselor from simple americans.ca. Welcome to the simple on purpose podcast. If you're new here, welcome. I'm Shawna, I'm a mom of three. And the whole aim of this podcast is to just be a time for us to take a minute, slow down. Take a breath. I know sometimes I just hear that word breath. And it reminds me to take a breath. And my aim is to help you to stop and take stock of what feels like too much. What maybe it feels like not enough. Where are we on autopilot? What is distracting us? And most importantly, what do we want? What do you want? And I aim to help you move forward with all of these questions, I aim to help you simplify and it might start with decluttering, your home, a drawer or a closet. And we're quickly going to see as I did that, decluttering it helps us to declutter ourselves, if decluttering our space helps us to declutter ourselves. And as we do that, we're also inspired to declutter our lives. And so I often say, I'm here to help you simplify your home, your heart and your life. But all of that clearing that space so that we can fill it with something different so that we can fill our homes, ourselves, our hearts, our lives, our days, with what matters to us. And that's the life on purpose part. So I'm just want to acknowledge that this recording is different. I'm in a hotel right now. And right before I was leaving, yesterday morning, I was searching that was everywhere for this special little adapter that I needed. So I could plug in my microphone, my usual microphone to the computer that I was bringing the laptop. I couldn't find it anywhere. It's such a mystery to me where it has gone. So when I do finally find is going to be somewhere probably ridiculous. Like a kid's duffel bag in the basement or an old like, bin of wrapping paper or something i I'm just it's a mystery of where I could put it anyways, I'm in a hotel right now I'm at a conference, I'm at a counseling conference, and learning some great things, meeting some great people. Anyways, here we are on a Friday night together in a hotel. 2:15 And I am also going to say it's been a long day for me my brain. It's Monday, it's been a long day, and seven o'clock. And I thought yeah, maybe I can just push this episode back a week. But I needed to tell you about the motivation workshop I'm holding on Friday. And I needed to get this done so that it could be edited this weekend. So I need to get it done tonight. So I had to motivate myself. I had to use all my own tools to get this done. Do all of my motivation tricks. Here we we talk a lot about being on autopilot, and about moving into living intentionally living on purpose. And I think sometimes about who I was pre life on purpose, pretty simple on purpose. And just how complacent I was how reactive I was. I was living in a house that had a lot of stuffs.

This is part two of a two-part series about planning your day. If you haven't listened to part one (episode 189), I highly recommend you do so and then come right back to listen to this one. Join me as I guide you through a typical day in my life as a work-from-home mom. I discuss how I use time-blocking, rhythms and answer your questions .   In this episode I discuss:  My typical weekday  My weekly rhythms for work, home and family Time-blocking  How the changing seasons also change my days Family life, priorities and routines Answering some questions I’ve been asked about planning my days Exercise, laundry, meal prep, groceries, planning the week Derailed plans    All the fun links you might enjoy  Family rhythms (setting your own, and worksheets) Family Rhythms + free worksheet Planning the week with your partner What happened in my marriage when we started weekly calendar meetings Exercise for wellbeing 184. Movement as self-care (exercise for wellbeing, not weight loss) Establishing a chore routine 61. How we introduced chores to our kids (Saturday Morning Chores) Creating your own simple cleaning routines Homemaker, on Purpose (the guidebook) Working on your sense of capability 115. A Controlling mom, or a capable mom? 170. Planning the Day (reactive vs proactive, tools and approaches I use) 129. Does your ‘to-do list’ overwhelm you? Expectation overwhelm and how to handle it.   Sign up for the the Simple Saturdays email (a fun email, twice a month)   Upcoming workshops and coaching: The Oct 13 group coaching session The Oct 27 workshop on motivation Full transcript (with timestamps) 0:00 Hey friends, it's Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend and counselor from simple on purpose.ca. Welcome to the simple and purpose podcast. 0:16 This episode is part two, actually. So I would encourage you to go back to the previous episode and listen to that first. These episodes are on planning my day planning my week and the first episode I talked about applying that concept of if everything matters, nothing matters. And I think that's just really a good foundation to have in the back of your mind when you're thinking about filling your day, and how you're going to fill your day. So I encourage you to go back and listen to that. 0:42 Let's talk about my typical day, which is a question you guys have asked me. I kind of like hearing on other people's days, I don't know, I they used to do that Instagram challenge, like a day in the life or I forget what it's called, like one hour every? I don't know. Anyways, I thought it was really interesting. I like to peek in on how other people were spending their time. So I'm going to talk about my day and then answer a bunch of questions that you guys have sent in. 1:09 So my typical day, week day, I'm going to wake up around 720. And I have a timer for the Internet and like the Internet app on my phone. So the kids can't turn the TV or iPad on until seven because they were waking up really early just to watch TV. So they are watching a little bit of TV by the time I'm up. And I get up, we all kind of get ready, the kids leave. Generally, they're all over the door by 830. And then I can eat breakfast, make a coffee and get started on my workday. 1:38 So I spend my day working, I break for lunch in lunchtime. I like to like go out in the kitchen, listen to a podcast, maybe go outside, if the weather's nice, maybe go for a 10 minute walk, go back to work. And you know, because I'm working from home, I can do things like throw the laundry through, get the meat out of the freezer, because we're always forgetting to build a meat out army, do a quick living room tidy when the kids are heading out the door. And I head back to work. 2:04 So the kids come home between three and 330. Actually, my oldest usually comes on first. So we actually get about like 10 or 15 minutes to just cat...

Planning your day, week, month, even year is a great way to stay organized and on top of life, but it can become overwhelming and cluttered very quickly if you are not careful. When we plan without intention, and without knowing what the important things are, then we will be stuck in a lot of distractions and autopilot priorities. Join me in the first of a two part series about planning your day as a mom.  In this episode I discuss:  My first blog and how it changed my outlook The post that started the original blog My C-Section & The Feelings I Was Ashamed to Admit Advice for working-from-home moms A strategy I used to plan my day with kids at home How To Plan Your Day As a Mom (3 Simple Steps) Simplifying mom life 11 Things That Make My MomLife Simpler Some tips for how you can look at your available time  Honouring your season, validating the season you are in What Moms of Toddlers Need to Hear Doing the hard thing to make life easier Simplifying your life, consider the resources of your life The Simplify Your Life Series (with worksheets) Values and vision worksheets available in  the free resources Knowing your own values 149. How to find what matters to you (uncovering your personal values) Knowing the vision for the nine areas of your life Know Where You Are Going (why vision setting matters + free LIVE YOUR VISION worksheets) Establishing family rhythms (worksheets too!) 28. How to plan your summer on purpose, family rhythms we have and how to set ones you love. Doing the work of small consistent habits 78. Small things that can change your whole life (the compound effect) Sign up for the the Simple Saturdays email (a fun email, twice a month)   Upcoming workshops and coaching: The Oct 13 group coaching session The Oct 27 workshop on motivation     FULL TRANSCRIPT  0:10 Welcome to the simple on purpose podcast. If you are just joining welcome, it's great to have you here. I'm Shawna, I'm a counselor, I'm a mom of three, living in Canada. And my whole goal with this podcast is to help you just take a minute slow down, get centered on the things that really matter to you and encourage you to clear out all of the distractions and the excess that keeps you from showing up well for your life. 0:38 Some fun things around our house these days, we're doing that closet Reno, you might have seen the pictures and the simple Saturdays emails, I'm going to share more on that in the future because we had to reduce the size of the office to increase the size of the closet. And I feel like it's just kind of had a few aha moments for me. So hoping to share on that in the future. If you have questions about it. I want to answer those questions. So send me those questions over Instagram or the synthesizers email, or in the Facebook group. 1:05 Of course, we've got some kids in hockey, hockey has started. We've got a kid in theater. So my social life is really just saying hi invite other moms. Essentially, thank goodness my bestie calls me on the telephone like an OG bestie that she is, it's awesome. 1:23 I'm recording this before Thanksgiving in Canada, we're celebrating it this coming weekend. So Happy Thanksgiving to my fellow Canadians. It's amazing that Thanksgiving can be such a social, like special time. It's one of the best holidays, I think it really is just about gathering and eating. Two of my favorite things. Gathering in small doses though, I am an introvert. Alright, so in this episode about planning your day, I was asked to talk about how I plan my day how I structure my week how I get things done the various forms of the question asking the same thing. And I did have a lot to say I wanted to offer you a lot of my reflections. So I'm going to do this episode into two parts. This will be the first part, I encourage you to listen to it first and then move on to the next.

How has social media shaped our culture and expectations around motherhood? As moms, we often turn to our phones for a sense of community. Being online can be a great way to keep in touch with old friends, make new connections, or get inspiration for your life. But not every online experience can be positive, and sometimes we find ourselves scrolling through our phones, feeling overwhelmed about our own motherhood. In my experience as a counsellor, working with moms, I see first-hand that the online culture we create has a strong impact on how we FEEL about our own motherhood.    In this episode: The role of social platforms in creating a community for moms The difference between in-person friendships and online friendships How we relate differently to real-life moms vs moms online   The ways our culture shapes us The impact our culture has on our roles as mom, wife, woman The responsibility we have to choose a culture that uplifts us   All the fun links you might enjoy  Moms30for30 wardrobe challenge When I instagrammed my own life, and not my kids #instamomclub (an OG blog post on being a mom on instagram)  Emotional needs in motherhood\ (on looking for sense of connection) Why you should date your friends’ (investing in friendship) Think the best of me (on being hard and awesome) Phone habit, episodes and worksheets Your phone habits on autopilot Intentional phone habits and boundaries   Sign up for the the Simple Saturdays email (a fun email, twice a month)   Monthly group coaching sessions   Share your thoughts with me:  Instagram Facebook   FULL TRANSCRIPT (unedited) 0:11 Hey friends it's Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend and counsellor from simple on purpose .ca 0:18 If you are new here, I'll let you know I am Shawna I'm a mom of three kids. I live in small town BC. And my simple on purpose journey really started with me many years ago decluttering my basement, and in decluttering, these boxes of stuff, I was really face to face with the notion that I was living complacent, complacently, that I was not living the life that I wanted, I was not in the driver's seat of my own life. And it launched me into this approach called intentional living, living life on purpose, which eventually led me to training in coaching and counseling. 0:53 And over the years, I've been working with women all over the world on the issues that they feel stuck in, to help them simplify declutter all of that, and live their own lives on purpose, with their own purpose, their own values, their own vision for their life. 1:09 I want to talk about our culture today, and specifically our online culture. And I'm thinking about how I started out with my own experience about 10 years ago being at home with a toddler and a newborn. And I was fortunate enough to have a best friend who I would walk with most every day. And sidenote, I look back on that now. And I see that that was one of the things that truly kept my sanity in those early years. 1:34 But other than my best friend, I didn't really have a support network, I didn't have family around, my husband would work long hours and shift work. She was my village. And that's a lot for one person, right. And so she wasn't my entire village. 1:47 So I did what many moms do and have done, and I formed an online village specifically on Instagram, I like tothink I'm an OG Instagrammer, which probably explains my personal aversion to ever making a real, I made a real by accident this week, though, I thought I was making a video. But then it got posted as a real I don't even know what I'm doing. But please don't ever expect reels from me. I will be in your stories. But please don't expect reels. 2:13 Anyways, so the original Instagram, we were just sharing photos and updates of our day. And at that time was finding a lot of other moms in the same boat.

Coach, counsellor and mom shares on emotional awareness, the myth of happy, and how we can change our lives by learning to get better at feeling - instead of always chasing 'feeling better'   Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I may earn a commission, at no cost to you.    In this episode I discuss:  Can we use happiness as a measurement of success in life, marriage and parenting? The pursuit of 'feeling better' Feelings as a parent Are you stuck in the hustle for happiness? When I realized I wasn’t a lazy mom, I was just overwhelmed Are you aware of your emotions? How are we coping with our feelings (dealing rather than feeling) All feelings are welcome Three things to know about feeling negative emotions Feeling in the moment All the fun links you might enjoy  Coaching Sessions Emotions on Purpose Workshops Sept 15th call BDAY bonus discount    Sign up for the the Simple Saturdays email (a fun email, twice a month) Find me on Instagram FULL TRANSCRIPT (unedited) 0:10 Hey friends, welcome back. Welcome back to the simple on purpose podcast. As you know, I take the summer off, so that I could be, you know, momming it up with all of the kids at home and doing counseling and working my environmental health job making those work. 0:27 I also secured myself in office space in town so that while everyone was home, I could have that space to go to we were also doing rentos. If you're in this simple Saturday's email, you've heard all about this, we were doing rentals between my office in our bedroom closet, and I have a wall up now I have a wall in my office, I am all back put together. In my own little office space, it's reduced its size, I'll make sure to share some photos as we're getting it all put together. It's kind of exciting thing. Last night, I was up googling artwork in my office. Now that I don't have enough artwork laying around the house. But here we go. I wanted to have a fresh piece of art. That's always exciting. 1:09 Anyways, here we are September. And I don't know about you. But in September, I tend to have this sentiment where I reflect and remember a year ago, remember what the kids were doing and what grades they were going into what we were doing what I was doing with my life, what was different and like how much has changed. And I think this is something people might ask themselves around January, you no fresh new year, but I think I'm the kind of person who asks, is it in September, maybe because the kids are moving up a grade in school, maybe because my birthday is at the end of August. But it's almost like a metaphorical Page Break in my year. 1:45 And as I'm thinking like, oh, what were we doing a year ago, I also think what will next year be? And I don't get stressed about this question or like worried what decisions will I make? But I asked it with hope that I'm gonna set some intention. What do I want to happen? What do I want to be doing this time next year? Where do I want to be? 2:05 And so I'm thinking last September, I knew that that was going to be my year really focusing on one to one, counseling and coaching. And I also knew at that time that a year from now, this September, I was going to return to these online group settings. I've done them in the past, I've loved them so much. And as I went through this past year, even I was getting questions is Is the life on purpose Academy running? Are you doing group programs, and I did one group session this year, a handful of you came to that and we left the call with women saying can we do this again, like I want to come to the next one. So now is the time now is the time that I committed to doing that. It was something that I put on the backburner with hopes and anticipation that I would come back to it. 2:51 So this fall, you can expect two things from me one is I'll be he...

This spring I reflected on our finances and felt a sense of defeat over where I was vs where I wanted to be. I had to acknowledge aspects like lifestyle creep, inflation and inattention to contribute to this.  This prompted me to ask the Simple Squad (Facebook group) to join in a challenge to do life with less this summer.      In this episode Acknowledging the privilege of doing a challenge like this, by choice Reflecting on the cultural expectations for what we need ‘have/do’ as relevant, acceptable adults in society The lifestyle creep, the new baseline cost of maintaining our life The impact of inflation on our daily lives, in Canada  Joining the challenge in the Facebook group  The different intentions participants have in how they aim to live with less  My weekly goal of living less (the little things matter) Tracking spending   Join the facebook group Check out the spotify playlists to find episodes by topics Sign up for Simple Saturdays email Follow me on Instagram    Related to simple living  141. When shopping isn’t making your life better (mindful and minimalist tips for shopping) You Can Simplify Your Life Series 63. Why it is hard to enjoy the simple pleasures of life, and what to do about it Five Ways We Justify Needless Shopping 7 Eye-Opening Lessons I Learned From 200 Days Of Buying Nothing New 127. Planning your Summer on Purpose (Tips for Moms)   Links mentioned CBC marketplace - the inflation survival guide Fun cheap or free envelope budget strategy      Full transcript (unedited) 0:07 Hey friends, it's Sean me your nerdy girlfriend, Counselor therapist.ca. I know the podcast is wrapped up for this summer. But I wanted to stop by and share a summer challenge that I'm posting in the Facebook group. So the Facebook group, if you've looked for in in the past, yes, it was closed, it is reopened right now, if you want to join, the challenge is called Life with less the life with less challenge. And this challenge was motivated by a conversation I was having with my best friend about debt and managing money and the kind of bigger vision that we have for ourselves financially. And carrying debt, it might be one thing, but in this climate that we're in of inflation, where everything about life is just so much more expensive. Now, it's forcing us to stop and consider what we are doing. So I thought, as we ourselves are talking about buckling down, it's probably a common experience that a lot of us are having right now. And I wanted to do it alongside the simple squad, that's the Facebook group. Now, before I go on about this, I just want to acknowledge that making this sort of thing a challenge, it feels trivial. And it really highlights my privilege. I can think for me growing up, we had to live with less because there wasn't really a choice. Otherwise, we didn't go back to schools, clothes shopping every year, we didn't eat out very often or ever. We didn't get the fancy snacks. We didn't go on trips, our needs were met. But my parents wouldn't have to say what can we cut out what's extra that we can cut out of our lives because they were already accounting for all of those pennies. So I feel that, for me to now be an adult and aware that I just want to live in low my means as a way to be a good steward of what I have, it's a luxury, it's a luxury to just simply desire this change, rather than naturally having it imposed on me. So as I talk about the life with less challenge and the things that we're aiming to challenge ourselves with, I'm a white middle class woman with the privilege to call this a challenge. I'm aware of that. And I acknowledge that. And I think we just need to acknowledge that before we carry on with having this kind of conversation. So in the Facebook group, we've already started talking about this challenge. And we opened up the first weekly thread to share.

How are we told we SHOULD feel in motherhood, versus how do we truly feel in motherhood? We spend a lot of time and energy living in default emotions, while hustling to shift away from uncomfortable emotions and into more comfortable emotions. I want to open up your options for empowering emotions that you can feel in motherhood, emotions that generate capacity instead of exhaustion. And I want to have the conversation about HOW we are meeting our emotional needs in effective or ineffective ways.  Covered in this episode: Our emotional experience matters What memories are you making in motherhood (and how it can change your motherhood experience) day after day of feeling overwhelmed in our bodies Is Self-Care the Answer When Motherhood Sucks? Our emotions need to be addressed when we address how we feel and what we do with those feelings, we gain power and opportunities Do we have basic emotional needs?  What we are TOLD we will feel in motherhood (what we go into motherhood expecting to feel) versus what we actually feel in motherhood  114. Being a Mom, on Purpose (it’s not about happy, obedient kids) Should ‘Happy Kids’ Be Our Parenting Goal? 156. 3 things to know about feeling negative emotions What most moms say they want to feel in motherhood 66. Are you stuck in the hustle for happiness? Finding contentment in momlife 69. Will a simpler home bring me peace? What getting dressed each day taught me about meeting my emotional needs The Baby That Always Cried (Our Story With Esophagitis) Mothering Through Anxiety God’s Grace Through Difficult Parenting the moms30for30 posts  When I Instagrammed My Own Life, and Not My Kids Chasing happiness and peace vs other emotions we could be pursuing in our day Emotional needs of motherhood Questions to ask yourself: How are you meeting that emotional need? In an effective way or an ineffective way? Where are you in terms of meeting this need (shut off the need and avoid needing it, or overcompensate and need a lot of it?) Some emotional needs you might not be aware you have: Connection  Productivity When I realized I wasn’t a lazy mom, I was just overwhelmed 129. Does your ‘to-do list’ overwhelm you? Expectation overwhelm and how to handle it. Productivity Needs A Purpose 149. How to find what matters to you (uncovering your personal values) 170. Planning the Day (reactive vs proactive, tools and approaches I use) Appreciation/Validation Making motherhood harder than it needs to be (Mom Martyr) 62. My husband put the groceries away wrong, he doesn’t care about me (love languages and expectations in marriage) Confidence Being confident in the mom you are 115. A Controlling mom, or a capable mom? Enjoyment/joy do you withhold joy from yourself? 138. Is momlife UNFUN? How to be a more FUN MOM, stop withholding fun from yourself When Did I Stop Enjoying My Kids? (and my journey back to enjoying them) Finding Joy In Your Every Day (#theperfectmomentsproject) Accomplishment Nurturing Contentment, happiness, joy Pride Security Relaxed Belonging Self-expression, creativity Autonomy  Adventurous Motivated, energized Things to consider  all our actions are us trying to meet our needs the best we know how, and we are all trying to feel more of what we WANT to feel and less of what we DON'T want to feel  Our thoughts, feelings and actions are all interrelated Our use of our emotional energy matters Towards and Away Motivation  Staying connected over the summer Catch up on the Spotify Playlists The Facebook group, reopened if you were wanting to join it Follow along Instagram Join the Simple Saturdays email, the virtual coffee date with your Nerdy Girlfriend     Full transcript (unedited) 0:00

I have gone from be an avid gym-avoider, unathletic, didn't even own a pair of running shoes, complacent with my health in many ways to someone who PRIORITIZES movement as a way to improve and maintain my sense of wellbeing.  I want to share how I got here, what makes exercise tough and simple ways to get started with moving more.    Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I may earn a commission, at no cost to you. Topics covered in this episode What I learned about exercise as a kid. 1:54 The ideal body has shifted over generations. The modern human moves around 30% less than the 1960s. Learning from the culture around us. 3:50 Learning from culture and home culture. Limiting identities and how they shape us. What Is physical literacy? 6:12 Lack of physical literacy, lack of motivation, knowledge and understanding. The importance of movement. The wake-up call I had Getting started with yoga It’s not about the goal but about the process. 11:05 Challenging the lifelong belief of complacency. The benefits of exercise. How exercise changes the brain’s anatomy. 13:42 Exercise changes the brain's anatomy, physiology and function. Exercise reduces stress and cortisol. How exercise can help with depression? 15:07 Exercise can provide temporary anxiety relief. The benefits of prolonged exercise for over 20 minutes. Exercise can be a form of meditation. What will keep you from experiencing the benefits of exercise Perfectionism, all or nothing, using exercise as a distraction How exercise helps you care for yourself better Increasing capacity and showing up better. 19:19 Why exercise is hard Our relationship to our bodies The resistance and excuses our brain gives us when we are faced with potential pain (hard work) Building a dopamine pathway for exercise  Strategies for incorporating movement into your life. 21:40 Consistency is key to long-term motivation. Consider yourself 20 years from now Exercise, with a toddler at home   Links related to the episode  References   Books Move by Caroline Williams The Joy of Movement by Kelly McGonigal Burnout by Emily and Amelia Nagoski Move the Body, Heal the Mind by Dr. Heisz Episodes, articles and studies The brain-changing benefits of exercise by Wendi Suzuki Move the body, heal the mind on the Art of Manliness podcast, with Dr. Jennifer Heisz of NeuroFitLab Physical literacy The secret to why exercise is so good for mental health. 'Hope Molecules'  The truth behind 'runners high' Blog posts/my stories My VBAC Birth Story I’ve Been Living On Auto-Pilot and I’m Changing My Ways (aka Why Running Makes Me Cry) I’m Running My First 5k. Here’s Why Umm…I Thought You Were Running a 5km? 164. How I am finding balance in my life this year Building self trust  Athletic skillz, according to 12 year old me What We Say About Ourselves (and why it matters) Limiting Identity 78. Small things that can change your whole life (the compound effect) 150. A new approach to habit change: routine and habit refinement I would love to hear from you on Instagram, find me @simpleonpurpose.ca Or reply to me anytime through the Simple Saturdays email (if you want to join that fun, twice-a-month email, sign up here!)     FULL TRANSCRIPT (unedited) 0:07 Hey friends it's Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend and counselor from simple on purpose.ca Welcome back to the simple on purpose podcast. And if you're new here, welcome to just give you like a quick nutshell about simple and purpose. I am Shawna, I'm a mom of three kids, I'm a counselor. And over the years, I have shared my journey online at simple on purpose.ca. With simplifying my home, decluttering my home,

I am a decades-long nightowl, but it doesn't always serve me well in motherhood. Some years ago I made 'sleep' my health goal (not becoming a morning person, but simply heading to bed earlier). I want to share the benefits of sleep and strategies that can help you give up that nightowl life.    Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I may earn a commission, at no cost to you. In this episode I talk about: How sleep was handled in our upbringing How technology impacts our experience of motherhood The cultural expectations for sleep and self-care as it pertains to moms How moms are trying to get self-care, in ways that it impacts their sleep The benefits of sleep Being a nightowl, the benefits and the costs Strategies to set a sleep goal Addressing the things that keep us up Strategies to make sleep easier Building up self-trust with yourself The need for rest Having more rest in your day and week   All the related links: Grave's disease (My Thyroid, My Frenemy {Grave’s Disease to Hypothyroid} Reading books instead of social media (4 simple habits that make my momlife better) Studies and information on the benefits of sleep: the Sleep Foundation Memory consolidation (Healthy Sleep, Harvard) The role of sleep in emotional processing Intentional phone habits episodes + worksheets Feeling addicted to your phone Setting intentional phone habits Brain dump (blog post) Magnesium drink powder to help you relax, and this one to help you sleep Ashwaganda Blue light blockers (the ones I use here) Enable red tint on your phone (instructions here) Greyscale your phone (instructions here) Study on blue lights and circadian rhythms Huberman Lab Toolkit for Sleep  Exercising for better sleep (John Hopkins Medicine) Building self-trust with yourself (podcast episode) Getting a day of rest, as a mom (podcast episode) Church and chill day (family rhythms)   Full transcript (unedited) 0:08 Hey friends, it's Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend and counselor from simple on purpose.ca.  And I'm excited for what we're going to talk about today we're going to talk about the topic of rest. We're continuing on with the series on meeting your needs. In the last episode, we talked about nourishment. And I told you, I was going to continue on sharing these basic needs, we have these basic actions of self care. And I don't want to tell you what to do. But I want to share my journey with it. And with each topic, I want to address the culture that impacts how we relate to this basic need, and how I've changed my own mindsets about it over the years. Additionally, the strategies that have helped me with this basic need that have helped me to take better care of myself. Today we're going to talk about sleep and I want to share with you how I went from what I see myself as a night owl. A morning tragedy. tragedy is a good word for it. And someone who never really intentionally rested in a week. And I think I've really become someone now who loves an early night. I love a good tuck in. I'm not a morning tragedy, maybe I've downgraded but maybe a morning bumbler would be a better, I'm still not awesome in the mornings. And I think I am someone who prioritizes rest in the week. And you maybe can feel that I'm painting a picture of how I used to be this night owl. I have been a night owl since I can remember. I was a teenager with insomnia. That's how I would have labeled myself. I just adopted that mold of being a night owl. And that reputation of just being a miserable human being upon the waking hours. If you ask my little sister, she'll tell you, the many glares and snares that her otherwise happy sister would dish out to the whole family at seven in the morning like these innocent bystanders. 1:59 Just getting my wrath, my morning wrath. And as a teenager,

If you feel stressed out and overwhelmed, consider how you meet your basic needs - especially how you feed yourself well and often. In this episode, I share my journey to ensure I am nourishing myself, as a busy mom. Including 11 different strategies that I find help to make sure I am meeting this basic need.      Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I may earn a commission, at no cost to you.    In this episode The culture we grow up in shapes how we feed ourselves The modern cultural expectations for moms and food  Hyperfixation on health Going gluten and dairy free, the whole30, heartburn How staying nourished helps us maintain our window of tolerance  11 strategies that have helped me ensure I feed myself well and often    All the fun links you might enjoy  The baby who always cried (our story with esophagitis) Mindful eating for moms (Interview with Jessica Penner) Teaching our kids a healthy relationship with food (+ our own food guilt and body shame) with Andrea Heyman Understanding how the window of tolerance impacts your stress in motherhood What I ate during the whole30 11 things I learned from doing the whole30 diet challenge A simple hack to make meal planning easy Four simple habits that make my momlife easier (vegetables for breakfast) Paying attention to how you feel (body and emotional awareness) – (the mind-body connection) The almond mom (GMA article)   Sign up for the Simple Saturdays email (a fun email, twice a month) Find me on Instagram FULL TRANSCRIPT  0:10  Welcome to another episode of The Simple on purpose Podcast. I'm so happy you're here. At simple on purpose, my aim is to help you simplify your home, your heart and your life so that you can show up for your life on purpose. And today we're going to be talking about a topic in the meeting your needs series, we're actually going to talk about the topic that started the whole series. Because what happened was, I shared a story on Instagram about eating lunch, and how much we need to make sure that we as moms are eating real food, too. And there was a conversation on Instagram that came from that, and it made me realize there's so much more I want to say. So I laugh at myself, because I was going to do one simple episode on lunch. One simple podcast episode on lunch, and it turned into this series about meeting your needs, which really, it just might be a factor of the overwhelm, I feel when I come to do the podcast because I take it too far. I can't do that, you know, seven minute quick episode, I feel like there's just way too much to consider. I just want to talk about all the things. So we've talked about in this series, meeting our needs, what we've learned to believe around meeting our needs. Working through the process of becoming aware, validating, and handling our approach to meeting our needs. We've talked about self care and self love, and looking at what our moms have taught us and what mums of other generations have experienced. And I let you know that as we were moving forward, I will be sharing my own stories with some of the basic needs that I have learned to meet in myself. So I'm going to be sharing one of those stories today. And it's not to tell you how you should do it. This isn't about telling you how and what to eat. But this can just be a story where there's framework around how we can meet our needs and different approaches, and some ideas on how you might want to do that if this is a need, that you are focusing on in your own life. So today we're talking about feeding ourselves, or as I like to call it nourishing ourselves. And for me, food was a big crash course in realizing that I had physical needs I had to pay attention to there's been a process as I've gone through the decades of motherhood, where I just realized how detached I have been from my body.

From becoming aware, to validation, to giving ourselves permission to disrupt the system - we have some steps that can help us in our process of Becoming Someone Who Takes Care of Themselves. I want to share with you how decluttering led me to assess how I was taking care of myself, and how I worked from my basic needs, in small steps to more personal needs.  Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and take action I may be compensated at no additional cost to you. In this episode I talk more about: Our basic needs The wheel of self care Self-care of ourselves vs caring for others The cultural rules of self-care for moms Owning our own narrative of motherhood  The process of becoming someone who takes care of themselves: awareness, validation, permission, approach All or nothing thinking   Links you might like  174. Christmas hygge ideas + understanding how the window of tolerance impacts your stress in motherhood First episode in the series 179. What are your needs and how are you meeting them? Second episode in the series 180. Self-care and self-love, what would our mothers say? The Joy of Less by Francine Jay  Small things matter 78. Small things that can change your whole life (the compound effect) When Motherhood Can Change You but You Can’t Change Motherhood When the Body Says No by Gabor Mate Self care assessment  Enneagram Enneagram 101 (what is it and what are the nine types) 139. Are you TOO comfortable? And what is it costing you? 113. Why you aren’t thriving in motherhood (stress and surviving) Sign up for Simple Saturdays Email  Talk to me on Instagram    The Wheel of Self Care, by Olga Phoenix   Full Transcript (unedited) 0:09 Hey friends, it's Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend and counselor from simpleonpurpose.ca. Welcome the simple on purpose podcast, we are continuing our series about meeting our needs in today I want to talk about becoming someone who takes care of themselves. In the last episode, I talked about how we can shift our approach to the things we call self love and self care. And when we are proactive with self care, then we can become better at creating and maintaining capacity, capacity for our lives and capacity matters. Capacity, having capacity, it helps us feel like we're just able to handle our day. If you've heard talk about the window of tolerance, I think that's a good example of capacity. When we are in our window of tolerance, we feel like we have capacity, I'll make sure to link an episode on that where I've talked about that in the past. So when we are not meeting our needs, we have lowered capacity. Or maybe another way to say this is that meeting our needs increases our capacity. In the very first episode of this series, we talked about our relationship to our needs and how we learn from our upbringing, what's acceptable, what's not, what's a burden, who meets our needs, how do we express them, whose needs Should we meet whose needs are more important, and so on. And then we also are living in this world where we hear a lot about self care and self love. But we've also have some handed down notions from our own mothers and the mothers in our lives. I shared my own story around that in the last episode. And so we're all entering into this conversation with a bit of a different framework on what's comfortable, what's right, what's acceptable when it comes to our needs as a women and moms. I have been asking around what do you consider your basic needs basic needs. And I see a general consensus that our basic needs are what we need to survive, food, sleep, shelter, water. And I'm going to be honest, I know some of us are not very good at three out of four. And I will tell you my very basic list, when I entered into this mindset of becoming someone who takes care of themselves, it did start with food, sleep, water and, and physical space,

Sometimes we can find ourselves reaching for a bowl of chocolate, scrolling through social media, or checking out for the night, and call that self-care. But that is really self-comfort and only serves to numb the discomfort instead of fixing it. Self-care is tuning into ourselves and finding out what we need to do to care for ourselves. Listen in as I discuss self-care and self-love, and how that has changed over the years since our mothers were young.     Main topics: The difference between self-care and self-comfort Meeting our needs and our capacity (window of tolerance) Accepting cheap substitutes to meet our needs What we think it means when our needs are going unmet The culture of moms meeting their needs, is it intuitive?  What we learn from our mothers about self-care and self-love Why the term self-love feels challenging.    Related links: Self-care assessment  Is self care the answer when motherhood sucks? (blog post) Understanding how the window of tolerance impacts your stress in motherhood (episode) How to find confidence in being the mom you are (episode) Being a mom on purpose  (it is not about happy, obedient kids) (episode) 67. Making motherhood harder than it needs to be (Mom Martyr) The highlight reel of moms talking about self-care and meeting their needs    Simple Saturdays email (sign up here) Instagram (message me on IG)   FULL TRANSCRIPT (unedited) We're gonna continue on with our series about meeting your needs. And I want to talk more about self care and self love and how this is about it. But it's also not about it. The whole series, meeting your needs, I don't think that is one that I would listen to if I saw that title sounds kind of weird to say, but I think many mums might feel this way you see something on meeting your needs, and you might think, I don't need that things are fine. Or there might be some resistance, because you're kind of worried is this another pitch for that self care, self love, do face masks in the bath, treat yourself, you deserve it love yourself, you're amazing. We are a little bit worried about where this is going to take us. Because I think some of us know that. That self care, self love cannot be an entire approach to living. There's parts that are so helpful, for sure. But the approach needs more to it, it kind of feels like thin ice over water. But we need that iceberg. Underneath we need that iceberg of values and beliefs. We need awareness, validation, radical acceptance before we move into self care and self love. So as I move forward with this topic of meeting your needs, I want to approach this topic from the work I've done with moms of all ages and stages all over the world. And that's the approach of addressing the overwhelm the stress, the expectations, the mental load that moms are under. Because this overwhelm it feels like a threat to us on a base level. And when we add in a reduced capacity to deal with that threat, you have yourself a chronic stress response. And that's what we're commonly operating from. That's why we need self care and self love. But at the at the core of it capacity is what's important. Capacity is one I want to talk about. For someone to feel capacity, they feel like they can do they feel capable, they have met their basic needs, so that they can move forward with dealing with things and feeling capable. Think of how capacity impacts you in your daily life. Think of how you show up in motherhood, when you have slept well, or have had a nourishing meal or when you've just gone out for a walk on your own and it felt really restorative. Or you've just met up with your besties and had some great laughs. But how often are we really giving ourselves the resources to restore and maintain our capacity, I would say the opposite often happens that we spend more energy scrambling to deal with our lack of capacity rather than we spend building it.

What are needs? At a basic level, they are simple things like food, water, shelter, sleep. They can also be more complicated, like friendship, personal accomplishment, and sense of purpose. Sometimes it can be difficult to meet these needs, or to even know what they are. Join me today while I discuss needs and how to meet them in all aspects of your life.   In this episode I discuss:  What are your needs and how to figure that out  Understanding your relationship to 'your needs' and 'the needs of others'  Communal vs Individual cultures What we learn about needs from our culture, our family, and how gender bias impacts our view on meeting our needs Addressing needs in a relationship, expressing needs Meeting the needs of others, how do we show up for this   All the fun links you might enjoy  Maslow’s Heirarchy of Needs (wikipedia) Podcast playlist Think the best of me: Hard and awesome Capable or controlling My husband put the groceries away wrong, he doesn’t love me Instagram  Simple Saturdays Email (sign up here) Email me here   Sign up for the the Simple Saturdays email (a fun email, twice a month) Email me here  Follow me on Instagram     FULL TRANSCRIPT (unedited) Hey friends, it's Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend and counselor from simple on purpose.ca. Welcome, welcome back to the podcast. Or maybe Welcome back to me, because it seemed that I was on a hiatus from sharing new episodes. And what happened is I had an episode ready to go. And I didn't post it. The other week, I shared this in the simple Saturdays email that I had just decided the content wasn't right. And sometimes this happens, sometimes, I'll go through the whole process of drafting up an episode, maybe even recording it and just deciding it's not the right content, not the right time, too much too little, that kind of thing. So now I'm back in the recording chair, which just a normal chair. But what I found is that I had to really listen to myself and give myself permission to not post that and take the risk that there wouldn't be this consistent content, which is always what we're told, we need to be doing sharing consistent content. And the reality is that it took me a while to get back to because my days are pretty full. And I was also sick for a while. As I was trying to get a new episode done, I was observing the sense of overwhelming me. And I was taking stock of what I'm doing with my days, versus what I'm expecting myself to do with my days. And I'm realizing that I am taking on more and more clients, and spending so much more time in those one on one sessions and in research for the sessions. That is time that in the past, I would easily spend researching and recording podcast episodes, I had time to do draft episodes and episodes that just never made the cut. Because that's the amount of time I have for that. This is a season for me, where those one to one sessions are really taking priority. But I do want to try my best to still show up here with new ideas new discussion, mainly because of the feedback you guys give me the messages you send me the Instagram DMS, you send me sharing that this podcast is of high value to you. And I want to keep offering that in ways that are sustainable for me. So if you're ever feeling like you want to hear a new episode, and I haven't brought one out, I do encourage you to scroll through past episodes because there's like, well over 100 there. I'm going to put links in the show notes of all the playlists that I have made. They're on Spotify, they're also on my website. And you can look up by topic of interest what you want to hear more about. There's habit change, slow living, emotional intelligence, minimalism, parenting on purpose. So I encourage you, if you ever like oh, I just want to hear more, go and listen to those. Funny enough here I was saying, Okay, I'm gonna have some time this morning,

Giving your child extra attention might seem like a great idea, but if it’s the wrong type of attention it could do more harm than good. Let’s learn what it means to parent intentionally and make proactive connections with your family.    Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I may earn a commission, at no cost to you.    In this episode I discuss:  Why we get stuck in the negative Our negativity bias as parents Your experience of motherhood The Nurtured Heart approach How to use this approach on 'difficult' kids   All the fun links you might enjoy:  Is momlife unfun? How to be a more fun mom, to stop withholding fun from yourself  More on the negativity bias When I stopped enjoying my kids Change your motherhood experience by changing how you make memories Why you aren’t thriving in motherhood (stress and surviving) Conscious parenting through the struggles, and letting go of perfectionism in motherhood Transforming the Difficult Child: the Nurtured Heart Approach  Article on Nurtured Heart Approach  Do you typecast your kids? (Labels and how they impact our parenting and our kids) Check out the episode playlists for your topic of interest right here   Simple pleasure links The wordle (also search wordle unlimited for more) The heardle (also search heardle unlimited) Spot the difference site (click explorer games for more variety and levels) Highlights hidden pictures book Spot the difference brain games book  Sign up for the the Simple Saturdays email (a fun email, twice a month)   Full transcript (unedited) 0:18 So friends around here, I like to talk about all the ways that we can turn off the autopilot living, just living reactively by default for me, it looked like a lot of complacency and step into doing things on purpose with intention, getting clear and focused on where we want to go and taking steps to get there. Today we're going to talk about intentional parenting, just parenting in general, but doing it with intention. And the topic of focus can come up in parenting, when we start thinking, what are we focusing on? What gets the most attention, what gets our most attention in a single day, what gets our attention as a parent. And I don't know if you're like me, but it can go to demands and the urgency who needs to be aware what needs to happen, what needs to be cooked, who's eating one of the eating, where the eating, and it's like, we're just directors of all of this. And of course, as our kids get older, we can start to give them ownership of this and they can start self directing. But our attention in a given day, it can really be given mostly to the problems at hand, stop shouting Sydney, clean up your mess, put that away. And I know that there are seasons of my own motherhood, where I don't even want to talk anymore, because I'm just sick of hearing myself talk. And then I start to think, man, my kids aren't really listening to me, I don't really want to listen to me either. 1:38 They don't have such a bad idea about this, after all. Anyways, this is a really common place that we can find ourselves in as parents, a season of no a season of constant correction, a season of constant discipline. And then instead of motherhood, feeling like this enjoyable experience, it feels like a perpetual power struggle. And there's this urgency and every day is just full of problems that we feel we cannot solve. So if you are here, welcome. Yeah, we are all here. Sometimes, some of us get stuck here. And we get stuck here for a few good reasons. Actually, we get stuck here, we start to live in this story. And this becomes the emotional habit we operate from. And I'll tell you why it kind of makes sense. We get stuck here because on one hand, the more we're thinking this the stories, the more we're feeling these emotions,

Motivation. It is something we all want more of. However, every day we take little actions and make little choices that are coming from motivation. A motivation to avoid something or a motivation to move towards something. And why does it matter what is motivating us?     In this episode: Motivation vs lack of motivation How to know when you are operating from AWAY motviation Spotting the victim mindset or scarcity mindset How to know when you are operating from TOWARDS motivation Motivation and abundance mindset         Mentioned in this episode: The group coaching call, Feb 2 2023 The Making Change Challenge, sign up here for the four lessons and worksheets Send me a message on Instagram Share your thoughts with the Facebook group  The Enneagram and Motherhood series Making motherhood harder than it needs to be (Mom Martyr) The not-enough mindset (scarcity and abundance)     Full Transcript (unedited) 0:00 Hey friends, welcome back is Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend and counsellor from simple on purpose.ca. So you might have figured out that this podcast is a biweekly podcast. But last week, I dropped a bonus episode about not knowing what you want in life. And I talked about six reasons why dreaming or thinking of your life on purpose might actually be hard. I wanted to share that episode early so that you could have time to sign up for the group coaching call on February 2, if that's something you're interested in, I'll link info on that in the show notes. And essentially, that call is a time where you can bring the work you want to do with intentional living this year. And I'll answer any of your questions and also bring people on live for coaching. In the past, I've run group programs, I used to run the life on purpose Academy, back in 2020, and then ran a couple group programs in 2021, I took a little bit of a break. And now I'm thinking of unique and different ways to bring that group coaching aspect back into things. Because in my own experience of being part of group programs is just listening to other people just hearing their questions answered, you get so much value, even though it might not be the exact same issue. Just the themes are relevant, and the approaches can be applied in so many different ways. So I find a lot of value in those. Also, I just really love hanging out with you guys. I love that community aspect. I'm always looking for ways to encourage community amongst you, listeners and blog readers. So I'll link that in the show notes. If you're interested. I wanted to follow that up with one more episode of ideas and approaches to help you be really mindful about the future that you're creating. So I wanted to share on the topic of motivation, because motivation is kind of like how do you feel with that word? How does your body feel? Motivation is something we're always trying to get. Because we know how we act when we feel motivated. When we feel motivated, we get things done. So our approach to getting things done is to find motivation, manufacture motivation, harness motivation. But as the wonderful Mel Robbins has taught us, you won't always feel like it. And if you listen to how you feel when it comes to what you want, you will not get it, because you won't always feel like it. So I'm going to share today a portion of some training that I've done on two types of motivation that is towards motivation and away motivation. And this is from the making change challenge that I released this time three years ago. And it is a series of four audio lessons and worksheets that I walk you through. It's a free challenge. So I'll link that in the show notes if that's something you're interested in signing up for and using. So we're gonna listen to this brief training on motivation. And I really want you to pay attention as you're listening to understanding what is motivating you right now.

I want to talk to you about listening more deeply to yourself and asking, "what do I want?". For some of us, we are out of touch with our dreams or our life vision. We might feel overwhelmed, or like it is impractical, or like we have failed too much in the past. This episode is to help you see some of the ways you might be stuck with listening to your own dreams and ideas, and some tips on moving through that.    “A ship is safe in the harbour but that is not what ships are for” - source unknown, probably John A Shedd  "You have to show up before inspiration will." - James Clear   Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I may earn a commission, at no cost to you.    In this episode I discuss:  Listening to yourself on a deep level and on a surface level Six reasons why it might be hard to know your dreams and goals Giving yourself permission to have dreams and ideas and goals Being a mom who struggles to dream and feels selfish to have goals Learning to inspire yourself   All the fun links you might enjoy  Six signs you are living on autopilot Are you too comfortable? And what is it costing you? Are you trading in peace for relief? The joy of being mediocre Redefine the life you want and what success looks like Hurdles to being a mom who has dreams and hobbies What you can learn from imposter syndrome For the mom waiting for life to happen  Dreaming for the non-dreamer, from A Little Light  Join me on Instagram    Sign up for the Feb 2nd Group Coaching Call - open to anyone who has questions or would like coaching on this topic and the topic of creating your future Sign up for Simple Saturdays email (a fun email, twice a month)   Full transcript (unedited) 0:00 Hey friends, it's Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend and counselor from simpleonpurpose.ca If you are joining us for the new year, if you just started searching like intentional living or living life on purpose or goals or something, and you found this podcast, welcome, I'm so glad you're here. Just to give you the quick and fast context, I am a mom of three kids who are now 1110, and eight. And around here we talk about ways to simplify your home, your heart and your life. So that so that you can show up for your life and live your life on purpose, live it intentionally live it with peace and purpose and presence and enjoy it. This episode is a follow up to the last one on creating your future and how we actually have the power to create our future when we turn off the autopilot. And some of the main points to notice in that episode were that we're really conditioned on how we show up in the world. And we really live from that condition. So everything we learned from our upbringing, from our past informs what we believe is possible, what is acceptable, what is safe, what to pursue. And so essentially, really, our past everything we learned in our past how we've shown up in our past, it dictates how we show up for our future, our past dictates our future, when we're living on autopilot that is, but we have this part of our brain, when we are in a calm state we can access it is that part that allows us to think logically long term, big picture ideas. It's that part that says, Wait a minute, if I have ketchup, chips, and whiskey each night, where will that get me in five years? Is that where I want to be? Or sit? Is that part of our brain that says, I usually go through the day in a fog? I don't feel like I'm present with my kids. Is that what I want? And then what do I want? How do I want to show up as a mom, that's kind of the part of our brain that we get to tap into when we shut off the autopilot, we shut off the stress, the anxiety, and we just be still for a minute, I do have an episode from the past called Signs, you might be on autopilot, living on autopilot.

With 2023 finally here, it is time to start looking forward to the future and improve our health, relationships, and life. But sometimes it might be a good idea to look inwards as well and see if we intend to succeed in those goals passively, or actively. Kickstart the year by turning off the autopilot and living life intentionally.   Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I may earn a commission, at no cost to you.    In this episode I discuss:  Taking charge of your own future  Advice to live life intentionally How our past affects our future, and how to use that in the present The compound effect of our habits  Three things you can do to help shape your future   All the fun links you might enjoy  Throw Throw Burrito (on Amazon) Change your experience by how you make memories in motherhood (episode link) Think the best of me, or not (embracing our hard and awesome) Making motherhood harder than it needs to be (mom martyr post) Our marriage was struggling, here are 12 things that helped (blog post) I’ve been living on autopilot (a post from 2015 on working through the frustration of waking up to a complacent life) For the mom who is waiting for life to happen (how waiting keeps us from taking action) Six things nobody told me about Intentional Living (when it is hard work to be intentional, but it is worth it) What will change cost you? Paying the status quo or investing in change (episode link) What we say about ourselves, and why it matters (self-limiting identity) Small things that can change your whole life (how I applied the compound effect to my life) Life on Purpose Workbook Live your vision worksheets Live your values worksheets  Sign up for Simple Saturdays email (a fun email, twice a month)   FULL TRANSCRIPT (unedited) 0:11 Hello friends, happy 2023 Welcome back to the simple on purpose podcast. I am Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend and counselor, here to walk with you through all things about simplifying your home, your heart, your life, and living it on purpose. For us here in Canada, in my house, we celebrated Christmas over the holiday. My husband had time off, I had time off, like for real time off. And in the like, 11 years of motherhood. This was one of the few Christmases where I felt like I had a truly great time. So weird. I mean, of course, plans got cancelled. I got sick kids complained siblings thought the house was a mess. There was tears, there was feelings, mine included. But I don't know, maybe it's because I was really trying to have eyes for those really great moments. And you know, maybe because we also spent so much time with friends. I think that was really important. We spent a lot of time with our friends and our kids friends. We played games as a family mostly throw throw burrito, have you played that it's a card game. But then you like stopped to take these dodgeball battles. And I have a friend who said they eventually gave that game away because it was traumatic for her household. And I get it because just last night, I had a tantrum. I think all of us have rotated, taking turns having tantrums playing Throw, throw burrito. But it is so fun. I'll link that in the show notes. So for me, as a mom, this Christmas had a lot of just simple, great memories, time that we spent together time we spent with friends. And this is a Christmas I'm going to definitely write about in my memory book. So I have a memory book I keep where I write down the really great things that I want to kind of make up my experience of motherhood. I'll link an episode I've done on that in the past two years, about making memories and motherhood if you want to check that out. So we're coming into the new year, maybe you celebrated Christmas maybe celebrated something else, maybe you didn't don't celebrate anything over the winter break.

With all the planning, gift wrapping, baking, and decorating, this time of year can get crazy, and life seems to just stop until the 25th is well behind us. Today I wanted to talk about the concept of Hygge and how to make Christmas feel a little simpler, a little more manageable, and a little more enjoyable. And put this all against the backdrop of the stress response we can find ourselves in as mothers. Understanding the concept of the Window of Tolerance can give you more awareness over times when you feel little capacity for daily life and seem to run on overwhelm and stress.    In this episode I discuss:  The three components of Hygge Holiday activities and how to get the family involved Decluttering Christmas Our Window of Tolerance    All the fun links you might enjoy  All posts and episodes about Simple Christmas Posts and episodes on hygge 30 days of hygge free calendar Enneagram + Motherhood series Enneagram 101 post and episode  CBC Gem  Why you aren’t thriving in motherhood (stress and surviving) Episode playlist on emotional intelligence for moms  An intro to polyvagal theory (window of tolerance) Infographic on the window of tolerance Reactive vs proactive approach to the day Simple Christmas Planner Simple Saturdays email   Sign up for Simple Saturdays email (a fun email, twice a month)       FULL TRANSCRIPT (unedited)   0:15 Welcome to the simple on purpose podcast. Around here we talk about ways that you can simplify your home, your heart and your life. So that you can remove all the distractions, all of the clutter, all of the excess, and just show up for the stuff that really matters the most to you the stuff that is really important to you. So as I was preparing for the podcast this week, I was drafting up a podcast on goals and visions and creating a future you love. And then I was like, if I heard this right now in the middle of Christmas, I don't think I would even be listening to it. Because like kind of just stops around Christmas, right? Which I don't mind. I really love the idea of hibernating a little. I think it really honors this season that we're in we when we can step back from that pace of summer and spring and kind of pay attention to what nature is doing and model it a little bit flow with it and let ourselves hibernate a little bit more. So there's my soapbox moment, let's all hibernate a little bit more this winter. Which brings me to the notion of Hygge I'm probably going to use the word 'hoo-ga' nd 'hyg' interchangeably, but it is pronounced hygge. You guys are asking me about it right now you want me to talk about this. So here we go. In December, I often talk about simplifying your Christmas. But all of that content is out there. I am going to link to the simple Christmas series in the show notes, where I talk about simplifying gift giving traditions, giving kids toys without feeling overrun with clutter, how to make your gifts more thoughtful, all those basics, they're covered. So I thought I would just expand into a different direction on things that help you feel like your Christmas is simpler and cozier and maybe more manageable, more enjoyable. So the first thing we'll talk about is hygge, which is a Danish word that doesn't have any direct English translation and it just embodies this atmosphere of simplicity, of being cozy of being with others togetherness and of contentment. I think we've all seen especially on Pinterest, the stock images of a woman she's like draped on her white couch or her white bed. She's got a long white knit sweater on cozy Christmas socks. I don't know, do her legs get cold, I don't know. Mind read. She's holding a mug of tea and there's a fluffy blanket like draped around her. And that's what they tell us who got is we might not think of a mum in her like old decade old house code and slippers, drinking her magnesium water at the end of the nigh...

Everyone has doubts and fears, but sometimes these doubts can manifest into something stronger and more potent, Imposter Syndrome. Today I go through a list of questions to help you inquire about the Imposter Syndrome within you, and how to act on what you find.    Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I may earn a commission, at no cost to you.    Questions on how to inquire into the Imposter Syndrome within. Use these questions for self-inquiry, journalling is a great option.  How does imposter syndrome impact me?  When I doubt, what changes? How do I act?  When I have fear, what changes? How do I act from this place of fear? Where in my life does imposter syndrome show up? How long have I felt imposter syndrome? Is it long-standing? What seems to bring it on? How do I try to manage the part of me that feels imposter syndrome? How do I respond to that part of me? How does the ‘part of me that doubts’ think it is helping me? Protecting me? What does that ‘part of me that doubts’ need to feel safe When confidence is not available to me, what other feelings can help me with the doubt? How does the ‘part of me that is afraid of being found out’ think it is helping me? Who specifically am I afraid of ‘finding me out?’   All the fun links you might enjoy  Byron Katie, recommend her books, specifically Loving What Is Episode 162. Think the best of me (Hard and Awesome) Hayley Morris, comedian (one of my fave bits that she does) Episode 76. Why it matters what you think Simple Christmas Planner (find it with the On Purpose Workbooks)   Sign up for Simple Saturdays email (a fun email, twice a month)   FULL TRANSCRIPT 0:00 Hey friends, it's Shawna here at girlfriend counselor from simple on purpose.ca.  So I am a mom of three I live in a small town in Canada, I have three kids, they are 11,10, and eight. And about eight years ago, seven or eight years ago, I was reading a book about decluttering. It's called The Joy of less by Francine J. And it was around Christmas time, and I was reading this book, and it suddenly hit me that I didn't need to keep all of the stuff I had in my house. So I went down to the basement, the basement of shame, there was like a walkway amongst some boxes that I could get from one door to another. And I started decluttering. And I was really hit with this awareness that I had been living my life, very complacently on autopilot. And going through that physical clutter of complacency. It really brought me to a place where I didn't want that in my life. I didn't want that in all areas of my life, I could just see suddenly, all of the ways I had been complacent in my life, living on autopilot. And that really prompted me to say, No, I'm going to put myself in the driver's seat, I'm going to take some action, I'm going to be intentional. And that was really what founded simple on purpose. It started with simplifying and it moved into living intentionally living on purpose. So around here, we keep this conversation going. Of course, I've gone through life coach training, I've gone through counselor training. And so I am bringing in all of these different aspects of the approaches that I've taken the conversations I've had over the years with women, with moms with clients. And I want to just this be a place where you can stop for a minute. And really start to think about ways you can simplify your home, your heart, your life in ways that you want to start showing up on purpose, living with more purpose, with more peace with more presence and more passion. I really believe we can all have a little bit more passion and enjoy our lives a little bit more. That's a whole other episode though. Let's talk about today's episode. So in the summer, I asked for episode topic requests, and I'm still working through those.

As much as we might want it to exist, there just isn’t a magical list or routine we can implement to make it an easy transition to have a second or third kid. And once they are here, it can quickly become overwhelming and seem impossible. Today I share some tips and advice to help make parenting more than one kid a little easier    In this episode I discuss:  Prepping your first-born for a new introduction in the family Some of my own tips and ideas, as a mother of three Managing sibling dynamics and conflict Lessons from the Playroom: Sibling Rivalry My commentary on some crowd-sourced advice   All the fun links you might enjoy  Emotional Intelligence (and improving relationships with your kids through emotion coaching) What moms of toddlers need to hear How to deal with the emotional struggles of being a mom of babies and toddlers Real-life advice on having two kids under two years old (blog post) Planning the day (reactive vs proactive) Four steps to manage overwhelm in motherhood When motherhood can change you but you can’t change motherhood Settling in motherhood Is a third baby harder than the second? Enneagram + Motherhood Series 11 things that make my mom life simpler More posts on motherhood   Sign up for Simple Saturdays email (a fun email, twice a month)     FULL TRANSCRIPT 0:00 Hey friends, it's Shawna, your Nerdy Girlfriend and counselor from simpleonpurpose.ca. Welcome to another episode of The Simple on Purpose podcast. 0:18 If you are following me on Instagram, you know that this past week I went away for a work retreat. Do you remember back in the day, if you've been around for a while I used to go on work retreats quite often, I used to also go on work retreats with a community that I had started with one of my besties called a little late. And we used to do them with a great group of women, we'd rent an Airbnb, we'd get food brought in. And we would just all hunker down and do work and kind of brainstorm together. Some of my favorite memories are those work retreats. And then in this, since then I've gone on my own, I've gone with a bestie. And I haven't done it for a few years. So I thought, I have this big deadline coming up to move my email service. So I'm just going to send myself away for a couple of nights, you might have read about it in the sublime purpose, or the simple Saturday's email. 1:04 So I went away to work on my email, my email service, and then sent out that week's simple Saturday's and the email was broken, the email program is not working. So I'm still working with tech support to get that back up and running. And either way, I spent a lot of my time prepping for this, you know, this email to be moved over. 1:26 So whew, all right, the work retreat was still a really valuable experience. Because I could just be selfish with my time, which I think it's a bad thing. I think we need to do that sometimes, if I'm working from home, which I always do, and the kids come home from school, and even though I say I'm gonna keep working till like maybe four or five, they're coming in, they're asking questions, I can hear everybody out there in the hall, talking about things and I'm like, oh, I should go like, tell them this or tell them that. And it's just it doesn't work, right. And then I don't feel like I can ever come back into work once I've gone out and you know, been with the fam. But when I'm alone in this hotel room, and I go from my computer, to the bathtub, back to my computer, again, to a snack platter of cheese and crackers, back to my computer. It's just a time where I don't have to be accountable to anyone but me. And I can just be all in on whatever I need to get done. So it was a really like, I didn't just hang out and watch Netflix the whole time. I was getting my work done. And then watching some Netflix for fun. I'm all caught up on love is blind if anyone wants to tal...

Whether your vision is to be the hangout spot on the block, or a place your kids still come to visit after moving out, small changes can be made to create a cozy, comfortable, and welcoming home for the quickly growing and ever-changing family.   Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I may earn a commission, at no cost to you.    In this episode I discuss:  Having a vision for the kind of home you want to have Creating a peaceful house is not just simplifying and decluttering  Ep 69. Will a Simpler Home Bring Me Peace? Creating spaces in your home to foster certain activities and atmospheres for your family and friends  What makes kids think that a house is a good place to hang out at  Getting your kids to still hang out with you as they grow up and creating spaces that foster that connection Hygge and how to add this to your home  Three ways to bring hygge into your daily life 30 ways to hygge when it is cold outside Hygge vs minimalism    All the fun links you might enjoy  The Simple Christmas Planner Simple pleasures: Puzzles (side-by-side activities) Mom on Purpose Be the mom you are: how this one list can empower you to be the mom you are Ep 166. How to find confidence in being the mom you are Setting your Values and Vision The Life on Purpose Workbook The Live your Vision worksheets The Live your Values worksheets  The Perfect Moments Project Emotional Intelligence, for Moms (the podcast playlist) Ep 162. Hard and Awesome FULL TRANSCRIPT (unedited) 0:09 Hey friends, welcome to the simple on purpose podcast. Around here we talk about all the ways all the ideas, all the mindsets and approaches that you can take to simplify your life, your home and your heart, kind of the inner experience as well, and show up for your life on purpose. So I am Shawna, if you are new here, and I am a mom of three kids, my kids are 11,10 and eight. And over the years, you guys have termed me to be your nerdy girlfriend. That's a nickname given to me in the simple Saturdays, email. So I proudly wear that name as a badge of honor. I am your nerdy girlfriend, your counselor and your life coach. And hey, I'm in small town, Canada. So here we are preparing for the winter, as fall is going to be wrapping up soon. And winter, hey, I did some Christmas shopping on my lunch break today, ordered some things and I want to make sure they get here in time. So I'm gonna put that out there. It's kind of like those reminders, go pull me out of the freezer for dinner, go order some things that you need for Christmas. And if you want to really get intentional about your Christmas this year, I have something called the simple and Christmas planner. I'll link that in the show notes if you're interested in that. So today I'm going to be sharing another question that was sent in through the simple Saturday's email. Let me toggle over to the right window to read it to you. All right, I would love to hear another episode on making small changes in our home to make it more of a haven for the quickly growing and ever changing kids, and how to keep it a safe and cozy place that they want to be in. Oh, I just love that idea. All right. So before I get into this, sometimes I get a stuckness with getting the podcast recorded. And I know there's a lot of different factors that go into that. But sometimes that stuckness is about me, really second guessing what I'm sharing. So something that just helps me to say upfront is all of this is just my, my opinion. These are my ideas. I don't believe that motherhood is prescriptive that life, how it should look for you should look the copy of someone else. Like I believe that you need to tap into your own values, your own strengths, your own passions, your own quirks, and live into motherhood from that place be a mum on purpose.

Planning the day can be an overwhelming chore that you are constantly behind in. Sticking to that plan can be frustrating and seem impossible. I want to share a few ways that I keep myself on track and having a proactive day, rather than a reactive day.    Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I may earn a commission, at no cost to you.    In this episode I discuss:  The crafty form of planning, bullet journaling  How to get started bullet journalling  The three planners that I found worked the best  Moleskin Weekly Planner Passion Planner Ban.Do Planner  The crown jewel of planning apps, Google Calendar, and how I use it to plan effectively  How to organize and use your To-Do list to check things off How I prioritize my To-Do list, shiting from a should-do to a could-do mindset  Planning a proactive day rather than having a reactive day, especially with chores Cognitive distortions and how to get out of that All-or-nothing thinking  Meal prepping    All the fun links you might enjoy    How to get started bullet journalling  Planning the day for moms The freedom you can gain from planning your day Procrastination tips for moms Does your to-do list overwhelm you? Do you trust yourself to show up for you?  How to move from ambivalent to ambitious    Sign up for Simple Saturdays email (a fun email, twice a month)     TRANSCRIPT (unedited) 0:09 Hello friends welcome back to the simple on purpose podcast. My name is Shawna, you guys know me as your nerdy girlfriend and life coach and counselor. And if you are new here, if you found the podcast over the summer, welcome, I'm so glad you are here. At simple on purpose, we talk about ways to simplify, simplify your home, your heart, your life, and do things on purpose, do life on purpose, turn off the autopilot, turn off the default mode, that we're just living in life reactively to life and letting things happen, like letting life happen at us and moving into an intentional space, being really proactive with who we are, how we want to show up our lives and what we want to get out of our life. So that's the premise of what we talk about here. I'm really glad you're here. I let you know earlier that I had taken the summer off, I was finishing up my schooling to become a registered professional counselor. And now I'm on the other side of that I've gone through certification, I am working on my supervision hours with my supervisor. And I just really had no idea what I would come back to in terms of what simple on purpose was going to look like. I think I still don't know, people are asking me am I going to open up and like on purpose Academy again, am I going to keep the podcast going like all these plans, and I'm just like, I don't know, I don't know what I'm doing. But I am really enjoying the connection that I have with you guys over podcast, I love getting messages from you on Instagram over email letting me know that it's something that's part of your life part of your day. And it's something that's helping you, which is really my whole goal, right. And my whole goal is to empower moms to empower women to empower you guys to live simple on purpose. So I don't know what the future holds. I'm really open to it to where my life will take me and where these career plans take me. But let's keep digging into the podcast, I asked for suggestions on podcast topics I've asked in the simple on purpose, email, what you guys would like to hear about. And so today I'm going to talk about one of those suggested topics. And by the way, if you guys are not on the simple Saturdays email, that's an email that comes out twice a month. So it's not overwhelming. And I try to make that a place that's just fun and connected. And I share pictures, I share pictures of what I'm decluttering I share links to things I'm loving,

Answering decluttering, simplifying and momlife questions that were sent in through the Simple on Purpose community group. Covering topics including organization, procrastination, decluttering kids' clothes, showing up well for momlife.  Make sure to check out the show notes for more related links on these questions     Questions that were sent in: I'm reworking a room in our house soon to be an office/media room and trying to figure out a system for office supplies, books, devices, charging cables etc. It wants to turn into a catch-all space... If you have any thoughts on that? Thanks! What Pinterest Doesn’t Tell You About Home Organization 5 common mistakes moms make when organizing their homes, and what to do about it (+ cheatsheet of 5 more) 157. How I tackled decluttering my office and kids craft drawers + how I handle the resistance to decluttering The old basement home office Adding a desk to my (upstairs) home office Tips for vehicle/trunk organization Considering a bin/bag system Simplifying kid's shoes A question to start with to know what next steps you need Seasonal declutter: Keeping track of what is in storage Do you have any on simplifying kids' clothes? (big, wearing, grew out of) Decluttering with Kids Guide I’m moving in the next few months and have been working on all the decluttering and packing etc. I have 2 kids under 5. What I notice is that I have a hard time getting started on the jobs involved until the last minute when there is a big push and looming deadline. I’d love to work on a more peaceful and gradual approach to get it all done  How I found myself procrastinating this morning Questions to ask yourself when doing self-inquiry into your own procrastination 153. How to move from ambivalent to ambitious (making change takes more than just willpower) 154. What to do now that you are motivated (simplify getting started) 135. Procrastination tips for moms 15 Practical Tips for Moms to GET STUFF DONE 164. How I am finding balance in my life this year How To Plan Your Day As a Mom (3 Simple Steps) More on mom life - especially toddler mom life, being purposeful and present, enjoying it. The frustration of attaining freedom and independence, for parents and toddlers   Good enough mother (parent)  If I could go back and talk to myself about 7 years ago when I had two toddlers and a baby: Happiness is still available to me  Allowing every day to be hard and awesome 87. Why it is hard to be a present parent, and what to do about it 138. Is momlife UNFUN? How to be a more FUN MOM, stop withholding fun from yourself 156. 3 things to know about feeling negative emotions What Moms of Toddlers Need to Hear 73. How to deal with the emotional struggles of being a mom of babies and toddlers 74. Show up for momlife with these empowering mindsets 163. Have fun with your kids, on purpose + reasons we don’t have fun When Did I Stop Enjoying My Kids? (and my journey back to enjoying them) Finding Joy In Your Every Day (#theperfectmomentsproject) Summer wrap-up! Thank you for all the reviews and messages and emails you have sent, I am here for the COMMUNITY! Please do keep in touch! Expect an Instagram hiatus this summer, but please do make sure to USE the Facebook group  - and declutter it if you aren't going to use it.  Make sure you are on the Simple Saturdays email to get the bi-weekly newsletter to keep getting Simple on Purpose inspiration through the summer.  Save your favourite Simple on Purpose podcast playlist on Spotify to listen to this summer   FULL TRANSCRIPT (unedited) 0:00 Yes, I'm taking a summer break kind of at least a break from the podcast, which I'm sad about, I really enjoy the podcast. It's a place for me to just bring up what are the what other topics are on my brain are being discussed.

How do we teach our kids contentment? I want to unpack this question from all angles. From why it is hard for us as parents, how we teach them reactively vs on purpose, where the emotion of contentment comes from, the purpose of discontentment and growing our tolerance of discontentment.      Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I may earn a commission, at no cost to you.  Topics covered in this episode: The difference between being happy vs being content Happiness as a parenting goal can be very defeating and maybe even counterproductive Should happy kids be our parenting goal Recognizing that we live in a culture that is obsessed with happiness The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris  66. Are you stuck in the hustle for happiness? Finding contentment in momlife Teaching our kids contentment, how we do it reactively and without intention Pretending you're happy Parenting Book: Review for Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child 120. Teaching our kids emotional intelligence Guilt and deprivation The ‘not-enough’ mindset (how to spot a scarcity mindset and shift it to an abundance mindset) Consider how we learn contentment in our own lives  How to really start showing up for your life How To Find Your Enneagram Type (and how it has changed my life) Hard and awesome (from Think The Best of Me) 140. Give your discomfort a purpose #uncomfortableonpurpose 115. A Controlling mom, or a capable mom? Finding Joy In Your Every Day (#theperfectmomentsproject) How to get that feeling (why values matter + free LIVE YOUR VALUES worksheet) How Simplifying Your Home Can Teach You Who You Are Comparing where your kids are to where other kids are. The pitfalls of using what you see, socially, to determine where you and your kids *should be* Understanding your own motivation on why you want your kids to be content How we measure success as parents The Baby That Always Cried (Our Story With Esophagitis) God’s Grace Through Difficult Parenting 166. How to find confidence in being the mom you are, intentional motherhood What is hard about seeing your kids feel discontent 119. Tolerating tough emotions in our kids (and ourselves) The CBT framework: our emotions come from our thinking  76. Why it matters what you think (limiting mindsets in motherhood) What We Say About Ourselves (and why it matters) I Think, I Am! By Louise Hay Big Life Podcast (growth mindset for kids) Making Change: Do you have a growth mindset or a fixed mindset? (growth mindset for adults) Our natural discontentment Enjoying the simple pleasures (why it is hard and how to do it) The purpose of the emotion 156. 3 things to know about feeling negative emotions 123. Myths about emotion coaching our kids [LIVE]  Seeing the good, intentionally Contentment and knowing our values Happiness that is marketed to us, versus what we crave for contentment Addressing how our kids use comparison and how we can teach them about comparison in the context of contentment   Teaching our kids to look internally rather than externally Showing, rather than telling, our kids about the different life experiences in the world The role we have as parents to model contentment and honour the times our kids feel discontent  Room to make mistakes while we learn    Stop by the Facebook group to share your thoughts and ideas or tag or message me on Instagram   FULL TRANSCRIPT (unedited) 0:00 Hey friends, it's Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend from simpler purpose.ca. Welcome to Simple on Purpose podcast. So today I am doing one of the last posts until I wrap up the podcast for the summer. I'm going to spend my summer just balancing the two jobs that I have on the go. Finishing up school,

Being a mom on purpose means stepping into your strengths as well as stepping into your struggles.  This means letting go of perfectionism and the chase to be the ideal mom and have the ideal kids.    Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I may earn a commission, at no cost to you.  This episode covers: What is conscious parenting Parenting on auto-pilot, why we do it and how it is different from mindful parenting When our kids are difficult we try to 'out-difficult' them, and what we can do instead How conscious parenting challenges our western parenting culture and how many of us were raised Quote from Dr. Sheflai Unless we address why we can’t embrace our children for precisely who they are, we will forever either seek to mold, control, and dominate them—or we will allow ourselves to be dominated by them.Tsabary, Dr. Shefali. The Conscious Parent (p. 54). Namaste Publishing Inc.. Kindle Edition. How our kid's struggles bring us face to face with our own struggles When our kids aren't easy, they are challenging the things we have conditioned ourselves to be uncomfortable with Letting go of the notion that we are meant to be perfect parents The messy relationships and the struggle matter as much as the peace we crave Hard doesn't mean you are doing it wrong, it often simply means you are doing it   Related links and episodes mentioned 53. Change your motherhood experience by changing how you make memories The Conscious Parent by Dr. Shefali The key elements of Conscious Parenting Never Say No by Jan and Mark Foreman Three Books That Changed My Mothering Sign up for Simple Saturdays email (a fun email, twice a month) Join me on Instagram      Full transcript (unedited) 0:07 Hey friends welcome to simple purpose. I'm here to girlfriend Shawna. And this is a follow up episode to episode 166. So I encourage you to stop by and listen to that one versus 13 minutes pretty quick. In that one, we talked about understanding that you can be a mom on purpose because you were made on purpose. It's not a checklist you have to make. It's something that's already inside of you everything you bring into motherhood, your strengths, your struggles, they all matter. They all help your family and you learn and grow together. And I think we can hyper focus on giving our kids this idyllic childhood, I think we can get caught up in all of the Pinterest requirements on how childhood has to look. But the motherhood experience matters just as much it matters. Motherhood matters as much to us as childhood matters to our kids. So our experience matters. This is important. If you want to dig in a little bit into that, check out episode 53 Change your motherhood experience by changing how you make memories. I'll link that in the show notes. So as we talk about being a mom on purpose, having confidence in the mom you are made to be. I want to also match that with the topic of conscious parenting because this is another layer that I brought into my own parenting over my parenting journey. And I'm aware, I'm a newbie in terms of my parenting career. But this is what I've learned along the way. And this is what I want to share. So conscious parenting Dr. Shefali, literally wrote the book on it. And I'll link that book in the show notes. I've read it, I have lots of highlights in it. It's really, really great. conscious parenting in general is a philosophy that says, our kids are reflecting things to us that we need to be conscious of that we need to be aware of. Because we spend our days living and parenting on autopilot from that subconscious, automatic programming that's running the show. Because how often are you really mindful? How often are you thinking about every decision, every thought, every reaction, every emotion that you're having? How often are you consciously in that rarely, right?

Motherhood is a journey and there are stepping stones along the way of things we learn. I want to share a few of my stepping stones with you. They are around parenting from our own strengths, rather than focussing on what we are doing wrong. I want to share a few ways you can find confidence within yourself rather than from comparison and external validation.      In this episode I talk about: the Perfect Mom Checklist Making your own list for motherhood Where to start when you want to do motherhood, on purpose Parenting from checklists and comparison and how can create pride or shame Where we try to find shortcuts to confidence Where we can truly find confidence Finding connection and fun in motherhood   Related links and episodes mentioned: 162. Think the best of me, or not. Allowing the hard and awesome in ourselves and in our lives. How this one list can empower you to be the mom you are The ‘not-enough’ mindset (how to spot a scarcity mindset and shift it to an abundance mindset) 76. Why it matters what you think (limiting mindsets in motherhood) 163. Have fun with your kids, on purpose + reasons we don’t have fun The Mom, on Purpose podcast playlist     Full transcript (unedited) 0:00  This is a place where we just stop for a minute we slow down and we talk about the ways that we can simplify our lives, remove the distractions, remove the clutter, and start living on purpose with intention shutting off that autopilot. Today I want to talk about doing this in motherhood being a mom on purpose, something that's helped me is to think about motherhood as a journey. So I have three kids, they are 11. One's going to be 10 Soon, and one's going to be eight soon. And so I like to think about the journey I've been on over the past 11 years. For me, it really has been a journey where I started off clueless, I mean, my son, my firstborn son, was the first newborn I ever held. I also started off worried, which was my nature, but that I think that's something you bring into motherhood, you're worried about everything you don't know up against everything you're dealing with. And along the way, you learn. You listen, you try, you adjust, you wait, you learn, you learn what the different color poops mean, you learn how to set schedules and rules. You learn how to find peace, when everything is making you anxious. And you learn how to sit through the hard parts. Rather, rather than just scrambling to fix everything all the time you learn your way you learn the journey. And it really is a journey nobody can take for you. I think we're all looking to other people for the solution for the path. And I think there's a lot of mentorship available, we can support one another. But it really is your own personal journey. If I look back on things that I had wrote, during my earliest years of motherhood, and on the journals that I kept, at that time, I can see the path that I was on, I can see the things that I was learning, I can see little insights, little nuggets, little, not even little, but sometimes they were huge things that I learned that got me from here to there. And then again, from here to there again, and from here to there, again, just like stepping from one step to the next. So today, I want to share one of those things that felt very impactful at moving me along this journey. This is something that has brought me so much peace and empowerment in motherhood. And I want to share it because I think we don't hear it enough. And I think we're looking for it. What we're looking for is confidence in motherhood and confidence in being the mom we are in parenting from the strength of who we are meant to be, rather than focusing on what we're doing wrong. This was a message I heard early on in motherhood, and it was really impactful for me. And so as I coach other moms, and they share this message with them, and I hear them take it in and start to think maybe that could be ...

Spring cleaning had me feeling a mental urgency at ALL THE THINGS I needed to get cleaned in my home. I am sharing how I am approaching that overwhelm. Also sharing how organization and inventory of your stuff can save you money and reduce clutter (starting with the freezer!)     Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I may earn a commission, at no cost to you.  The main points covered in this episode My cleaning goals for last weekend and how I was derailed by spring cleaning mental drama My spring cleaning list and closet jenga Operating from a sense of urgency and how it can lead to shame/resent Paying attention to our thoughts and which thoughts we will 'hop on and run off with' Cleaning out the freezer The hidden costs of stockpiling and having all of the options on hand, scarcity  minset  How to do a food inventory (and save money on groceries!) Organizing things in a way that makes them accessible and visible  Doing an inventory of things to prevent you from doubling up by buying more because you don't realize you have it at home   All the fun links you might like 61. How we introduced chores to our kids (Saturday Morning Chores) 60. Doing Chores You Want to Avoid (how I life coached myself to do the dishes) @GOCLEANCO on Instagram A quick video about thought trains by Russ Harris  154. What to do now that you are motivated (simplify getting started) 15 Practical Tips for Moms to GET STUFF DONE 78. Small things that can change your whole life (the compound effect) A post I shared on IG, four years go, about using the notes app to do storage inventory Bitters, I like this peach one by Dillons, the next one I want to try is the Alcohol-Free digestive bitters by Flora   FULL TRANSCRIPT (unedited) Welcome to the simple purpose podcast. Around here, we talk about ways that you can simplify your home, your heaart your life. So you can show up right now in whatever season you're in and show up for it on purpose with intention about what you want, and how you want to act and what you want more of and what you want less of. Today, I want to talk about some recent decluttering and cleaning that I was doing the other weekend. And some realizations I came to while I was doing it. And I share this stuff not because I think it's something you've never heard, or maybe don't even know because often, I think I share things that we do know deep down inside, but I share it because it's a good reminder, it was a good reminder to me and so I want to share it with here here with you. And maybe you will find something from it. So Spring is here, spring is here in Canada. And I don't know about you, but I've noticed as my kids are getting older, and we're like in this family home, that wshen spring comes along, I kind of lose my blinders. I've got blinders on either side of my head, of all of the areas of my home that have built up with grime and clutter over the winter months. And I started also thinking that maybe spring cleaning was invented by Canadian parents who had paid very little attention to their homes for the hockey season. And now they're just faced with realities of unmapped floors and chaotic mushrooms. So Saturday is our joy morning here. It's a routine that we have so that rooms are just getting picked up for the most part on a regular basis. I'm going to link an episode where I talk about Saturday morning chores, how we started our kids doing it and also an episode about me, life coaching myself to doing the dishes. It's a very underrated episode. So I think it's worth sharing. So I was rolling into the Saturday and I felt this freedom that you have when you don't have any plans, no hockey, no plans, I put on my sneakers, I put on a good playlist and I was ready to get some cleaning done. The other weekend I intended to break up them up and also help at least one kid dredge under ...

I was asked to cover this topic in the recent feedback survey. I think it is a great question to ask, and it is one I've ruthlessly searched to the ends of Pinterest to answer, 'how to find balance in motherhood'  In this episode, I will share about the extra demands in my life right now and the ways I am finding balance in a very busy season of life of motherhood, school and work.      Topics covered in this episode: What we think 'balance' means culturally for women and moms What I have decided to make it mean for myself  The power of prioritizing and all the reasons it is hard to prioritize What I am saying yes to this year What I am saying no to this year How I plan out my weeks  How I protect my priorities and the reality that it doesn't always look or feel lovely Adjusting things as I go versus having an all or nothing mindset Owning it and not feeling like a victim of my life Links you might like: Simplify your life series What I Learned While Searching for Balance in Motherhood The Eisenhower Matrix Opportunity costs, talk about this a bit more in How to Define Simple Living for Your Family The Life on Purpose Roadmap How To Plan Your Day As a Mom (3 Simple Steps) @themanwhohasitall 133. 4 simple habits that make my momlife better 137. Back to school routines that we have in our house Family Rhythms 144. How to lighten the mental load of DECISION FATIGUE 150. A new approach to habit change: routine and habit refinement 69. Will a simpler home bring me peace? Working through a bad mood with one simple question   GET CONNECTED Make sure to share your thoughts with us in the Facebook group, or on Instagram!   Full Transcript (unedited) 0:00 Hey friends, welcome to the simple minimalist podcast, I am sure that many of you know me as your nerdy girlfriend. I am the mom of three kids. And I am passionate about us simplifying our home, our hearts our lives. So we can clear those distractions, clear the clutter and show up for what really matters to us in the lives that with intention with purpose, you may have noticed my tagline change to intentional living and parenting. And I think that really gets to the heart of where we're all headed towards where we're all wanting to work towards doing things in our day that help us feel intentional towards that bigger picture of what we want in our life. 0:45 On today's episode, I'm talking about a question that was brought up in the reader feedback survey. And it came up a few times and a few different ways. And that's the general question of how do I balance it? Also, it was a question directed towards me. And I'm going to talk about how I have found a balance in this really busy year of life, hoping that what I share with you will help you you find balance in whatever busy season you find yourself in. 1:10 I know I've spent a lot of years, especially in the early years when I had all of my kids at home, the toddlers and the baby. And I remember searching like balancing motherhood balancing kids balancing babies, toddlers, I was really drawn into this notion that if I could just find the right steps, then this would all be easy, that it would all flow effortlessly, that things would feel balanced. And I think a lot of us crave that, that balance that sense of balance. 1:44 But maybe we don't really sit and think about what balance is like, what do we think it is? I think on one hand, we kind of look around and look at all the things everyone's doing, for their health, for their parenting, for their jobs, for their personal development. And we think that's just a general list of all the things I need to be doing to be a healthy human. And I should just be doing the all of those things and feel that sense of inner peace that's going to come from finding balance. 2:11 In my experience of going through the years of, you know, raising small children, having them at home,

How to have more fun with our kids. It is OK if you feel like you aren't enjoying your kids and if having fun with them is not happening or is hard to do.  There are a lot of reasons why we aren't having fun and I want to talk about those and then share ways to bring fun into your family, on purpose   In this episode we talk about: The cultural image that makes parenting look fun will be easy and natural. And part of us holds onto this stock photo dream of family fun.  Is Motherhood What You Envisioned It To Be? The culture of fun in your family and where people in your family are getting their 'fun' 9 Simple Ways to Cultivate Your Family Culture Letting the day build up into a stress mountain vs having small redirects in our day When Did I Stop Enjoying My Kids? (and my journey back to enjoying them) 55. Tips to move out of the stress response and into resilience Distractions from harder emotions vs honouring our emotions and doing something to help us move on 120. Teaching our kids emotional intelligence Parenting Book: Review for Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child Reasons why we aren't having fun with our kids 162. Think the best of me, or not. Allowing the hard and awesome in ourselves and in our lives. 76. Why it matters what you think (limiting mindsets in motherhood) Four steps to manage overwhelm in motherhood 25. Working through unhappiness in motherhood, life coaching steps for handling a bad day. Bonus Q+A Episode Making fun when things feel heavy Making fun happen, on purpose Making a list Simple and Easy Kid Activities (mega list of ideas) some family fun suggestions  tips on planning it How To Plan Your Day As a Mom (3 Simple Steps) Family Rhythms + free worksheet 148. Why even make family Christmas traditions? (+ ones that didn’t work, ones that did) three ways we can bring fun into our family How to bring fun into the harder times of your day Handing sibling rivalry and competition while doing fun things following through on our plans for fun, even when we don't feel like it showing up well for the fun COMPANION EPISODE: 138. Is momlife UNFUN? How to be a more FUN MOM, stop withholding fun from yourself All of the things that take away your presence and attention from doing fun things with your kids Things that feel more important and how to reframe them The ‘not-enough’ mindset (how to spot a scarcity mindset and shift it to an abundance mindset) What memories are you making in motherhood (and how it can change your motherhood experience) Connect and let me know how you are having fun, on purpose Post about it in the Facebook group (make sure to answer the entry questions) Tag me on Instagram   Simple Pleasure This delightful new email newsletter by my friend Taco Katie who is sharing her great reads at This Librarian is Reading. Sign up for her newsletter here!  Follow her on Instagram    Full Transcript (unedited) HI friends, it's Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend from simple purpose.ca. Welcome to the Simple on purpose podcast. If you're new here, welcome. I started simple on purpose about eight years ago, I think. And the whole premise is to simplify like I learned about decluttering. I started decluttering my home, it helped me declutter my life. My mind, it helped me to just realize all the ways I was living on autopilot. So I thought I want to simplify things. I want to simplify my life, my home, and I want to start showing up for my life on purpose. I want to do things on purpose. So that's what I'm here for, for helping you do that to helping you turn off the autopilot. Because I know what it's like to get to the end of your day, and feel like you are constantly busy, but also totally unproductive. I want to help you stop just reacting to life and start being really proactive with what ...

When we want others to think well of us, what is happening is we are buying into the cultural myth that WE are all good, all the time. And then our EGO steps in to defend this truth and make us look good all the time. But this comes at a cost, it disconnects us from others. What if we can allow the not so good parts of ourselves to be seen and accepted? What if people don't HAVE TO to think the best of us? Quieting our ego in our relationships, especially in our marriage.    In this episode I discuss: Assumed judgement versus concrete judgement.  Assuming what others think about us reflects what we think about ourselves Differing between the cultural term of EGO from how Freud uses the term EGO Wanting to believe we are all good, all the time How the EGO shows up when we feel we are being judged or feel inferior Should we be happy all of the time?  66. Are you stuck in the hustle for happiness? Finding contentment in momlife The cultural message that we are all awesome, all the time! Acknowledging that we are not good all the time and how that can free us and improve our relationships The problem with teaching our kids there are 'good guys and bad guys' The role of serotonin in feeling superior and special  Tame your Anxiety by Loretta Breuning, PhD Habits of a Happy Brain by Loretta Breuning, PhD Differentiating between wanting our friends to think well of us or wanting to be socially superior Making change from a place of shame/inferiority What does it mean if we are NOT 100% good or 100% bad How it can improve our relationships  Acknowledging our good without minimizing it and taking ourselves off the hook to perform Validating ourselves rather than looking for validation from others.  Acknowledging what is 'good' and 'bad' in our partner and allowing it to bring ease rather than a fight The Hard and Awesome Game we play with our kids and how it de-stigmatizes 'hard things' and also celebrates 'awesome things'. Letting go of the expectation that the whole day has to be good and awesome and allowing the hard parts of our day to not take over Stop by Instagram for some fun conversations there    Full transcript (unedited) 0:00 Hey friends, I'm Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend. Welcome to the simple on purpose podcast. This is the podcast where I remind you to stop, slow down, 0:14 breathe. Like really take a deep breath. Let's just slow down. Because I want you to stop where you are. So you can pay attention. what's working, what's not? 0:28 What will bring you a sense of purpose today. So I'm Shanna, you know, me as your nerdy girlfriend. I have been coaching women since 2018. And I am a counselor in training working on my certification. I'm also a mom of three kids, my kids, how old are they now, my oldest just turned 11. My middle is nine and my youngest is seven. So I am just here going through the motions of motherhood and marriage and life alongside you guys, and just trying to share on the topics that come up for me. And this, this is a topic that has been in my drafts for a while. And then this morning, Connor was home. And he gave me a suggestion for how I could handle some of our banking that we're working on, I do all of the finances. And man did my defenses go up over that. So I went to this notes file. And I just started self reflecting and adding more to this episode. So I want to open up with a story. And it was a few years back, my husband came home from work and he said, How was your day? And I was like, Oh, it's good. And he was quiet. And he said, You haven't said that it was good for a really long time. I'm not sure if I've shared this story before I might have. But when he said that I felt so embarrassed. I was really caught off guard about this. And I tried to think of like, well, what do I usually say I asked him what do I usually say? And he said, you usually say it's tough.

Ever wonder if decluttering will be worth your time? Does minimalism really matter much? This question was asked in a recent survey I held and I thought it was so valuable. Because we all want to know that going through the work of decluttering will be worth it. Sometimes we need to hear about the benefits to help motivate us to start and move forward with the work of simplifying.  I'll share my own decluttering story as well as the benefits I see from in, after being 7-8 years in.  Why having less matters, is a topic that was suggested in the 2022 Feedback Survey. Make sure you give your feedback if you haven't done so yet.  Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I may earn a commission, at no cost to you.    Collect memories, not things  Starting out with my pitch to celebrate with your people, and make memories together when the opportunity comes your way. Take the chance! Why You Should Date Your Friends Giving Experiences Instead of Gifts   A bit about my decluttering journey.  It started with the book The Joy of Less, by Francine Jay. This book prompted me to start decluttering the Basement of Shame.  This was the big declutter I started with and since then, decluttering has been a routine in my life   The benefits of having less Clearer space We know there is a scientific correlation between your mental state and clutter What Clutter Do You Tolerate? (Bust Your Tolerations Workbook) Being able to USE your space for what you want The 16 ways minimalism has changed my life How it makes our space easier to clean, but also #welivehere More mindful More mindful of how I shop 141. When shopping isn’t making your life better (mindful and minimalist tips for shopping) Five Ways We Justify Needless Shopping The mindset is not about consumption anymore The Habit of Consumption More clarity Decluttering means making constant decisions, so you need to self-reflect as you make these decisions. This helps you know more about who you are what you want to do with your space and your life. As you make more decisions, you become a more confident decision-maker How to Define Simple Living for Your Family Can A Minimalist Have a Full Kitchen? 143. How to let go of IDENTITY CLUTTER How Simplifying Your Home Can Teach You Who You Are Enough is enough Having less means knowing when to say ENOUGH BEMA episode on ENOUGH I have sweaters at home, I don't need more Fewer decisions are required when you don't have the excess distracting you  144. How to lighten the mental load of DECISION FATIGUE The Quickest Way to Simplify Your Life (and nine areas to try it out) When you have less, you have what you want and that becomes 'enough' The ‘not-enough’ mindset (how to spot a scarcity mindset and shift it to an abundance mindset) Intentionality seeps into your life This whole process of removing the distractions, the entertainment, the overconsumption really makes you aware of what is left.  Decluttering over the years puts you in a mindset of asking WHY and constantly evaluating things you are bringing into your home and life Six mindsets that help you become a minimalist   REMEMBER Declutter is simple but not easy. It is a lot of uncomfortable work. But the short-term discomfort of decluttering is better than the long-term discomfort of living with clutter.  139. Are you TOO comfortable? And what is it costing you?   Stop by Instagram for the basement before and after This is what our basement looked like for many years, with the DIY fort - Our Minimalist Family Home: Basement Before and After             View this post on Instagram                        

This is a continuation of the insights we had in the #moms30for30 challenge, where we wore 30 items of clothes for 30 days.   This challenge was a way for us to shop our closets, wear clothing items we never wear (cause we always stick with familiar, right!?), put together outfits, and get dressed each day.    In this episode we cover: The power of visual data aka taking dorky outfit selfies How getting dressed can be a keystone habit that has a ripple effect in other areas of your life Paying attention to how you FEEL when you get dressed   The personal goal I gave myself for this challenge versus the goal I have had in past challenges Can comfort and style co-exist (for the under 60 crowd?) How taking the time to observe and edit your wardrobe can make getting dressed simple and easy Same clothes but different looks, using accessories and the rule of three The breakdown of my numbers in doing this challenge  22 items for 26 days 7 Pairs of pants (3 jeans, 1 black jean, 1 jogger) 17 Tops 7 blouses 3 sweaters 3 tees  4 cardigans (Head over to the previous episode post to see the photos of my outfits) Building a capsule wardrobe is not about having all of the options. It is more about having a handful of great items that you love My encouragement to empower you in dressing how YOU want Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I may earn a commission, at no cost to you.    Simple Pleasure Is a handheld fabric steamer.   I bought mine last year and have used it for things like drapes and curtains, thrifted items, and most of my shirts.  It is easy and fast to use and the satisfaction of seeing those wrinkles and creases steamed out is making this my simple pleasure! This is the one I use.    Mentioned and related links: Join the Facebook group, if you are ready to participate in the community!  The realization I had when I saw the Instagram feed of me instead of being pics of my kids When I Instagrammed My Own Life, and Not My Kids The emotional shopping I was doing last fall 141. When shopping isn’t making your life better (mindful and minimalist tips for shopping)  The rule of three Simple Style Tips for Moms The 2022 Feedback Survey! I wonder about what you think, so I am going to ask you here and hope you will share your thoughts.    Full transcript  (unedited) This episode is part two of the insights that I am sharing on the moms 30 for 30 to 3430 Challenge, where we were wearing 30 items of clothes for mostly 30 days of the month of February. So I have been sharing my own insights as well as those insights of the women who joined along in the challenge and shared their experience in the Facebook group. Okay, side note about the Facebook group, the simple on purpose community Facebook group, I want to tell you two things. The first is that if you have applied to enter, you need to answer all of the entry questions. So if you haven't been approved yet, go back and do that. If you're interested in joining, be mindful of that. Don't close that window right away, answer all those questions. And the second point I want to make is, I really encourage you to be a minimalist with your Facebook groups, and only join this one if you want to be an active member, because this group is a place for community discussion. And that means participation. So if you feel like participating isn't something that you're going to be doing, then just keep listening along here. Keep reading through the email, don't worry about joining that group. And I don't want it to come off as harsh. But for any of you who have ever run an online community or an in person community, you know what I mean? It takes engagement to succeed and to create a community. And that is what I want to challenge the members of that Facebook group to be doing to become a community.