IT'S LIKE A WHIRLPOOL AND IT NEVER ENDS

At last! It's time for The Big Pivot! Welcome to the SILENCE! Sportscast! All the Action! All the balls! More kicks and hits than you could reasonably kick or hit! Who's winning? YOU! 

Unfortunately the sports chat gets somewhat derailed by talk about gigs and the 90s before Gary Lactus and The Beast Must Die get sucked into The Reviewniverse where they find Joe Wilkinson: My Autobiography, Elf Quest, Cerebus, Viz (Gary's got a strip in it!) and Proustian comics in general.

Following that, there's a lovely bit of SILENCE! (Because The Film's Started) in which The Beast Must Die has seen The Flash.

All sport is finally forgotten as the hosts reckymend Comfort Blanket, Allan Quartermain and the Spear of Destiny, Blood & Flesh: The Reel Life & Ghastly Death of Al Adamson and Gary just won't stop going on about his Patreon. At this point in the blurb we usually say, "AND MORE!".

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SILENCE! has not been sponsored by the greatest comics shops on the planet, DAVE'S COMICS of Brighton and GOSH! Comics of London for years but we still love them.

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Welcome back, Jolly Whackos, to The Mighty Crusaders Number Four! It's time for the third ultra-page of sequential narrative so get excited! 

Listen to The Mighty Crusaders Number Four Supplemental at https://www.patreon.com/SILENCE

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DADDY’S HOME

He’s back! The good one is back!

The Beast Must Die is back and we all get to hear what he’s been up to. He’s been watching Grange Hill and almost nothing else. Let’s not beat around the blurb, let’s read a list of some of the things talked about on this episode that aren’t Grange Hill:

His Dark Materials, The Apprentice, Traitors, Batman Year Two, DC on screen, At Home With Rick Geary, 200AD Prog 503, Chatabix, 60 Songs To Explain The 90s.

GO!

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Here’s a fantastic new project from Channel SILENCE! It’s a deep, deeper, deepest dive into a comic that blew my mind – The Mighty Crusaders Number Four from Mighty Comics, 1966. I hope you enjoy listening to it more than I enjoyed making it. Future episodes in this series will be released on our Patreon page with possible public release at a future date. If you’d like to support this stupid fucking project then feel free to go to https://www.patreon.com/SILENCE and do what you think is right.

Transcript available from Mindlessones.com

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OH IT’S SO GOOD BABY WHAEN YOU’RE AT THE WHEEL

Writing these blurbs can be worse than pulling teeth. Lucky for you, I ran out of teeth ten minutes ago so here we are

Shall we welcome Tom Oldham and Douglas Noble back? Okay then. Do you want to hear a blow-by-pulse-pounding-blow account of Tom’s trip to Angouleme? Fine. That’s what this is. Along the way we talk about:

Julie Doucet, Sammy Harkham, Coffee, Druillet, Aien Worlds, Richard Corbyn, Jonathan Ross, Midnight Tales, Junji Ito, Bill Brandt, Sarah-Louise Barbett and Kit-Kats.

How close do you feel to death?

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You wanna know about Mark Stafford, almost from birth until now? He's the sort of guy that people say things like ''Mark Stafford is the greatest artist you've never heard of'' about.

Press play to hear Mark Stafford talk to a completely naked Gary Lactus about Ronald Searle, Empusa, The Comic Creators Guild, Brian Talbot, Cherubs, The Man Who Laughs, David Hine, Liphook, the strange tale of Magdalena Solis, The Bad Bad Place, Mark's Emerald Helicopter of Success, the upcoming Salmonella Smorgasbord and why oh why can't we all just call comic books and graphic novels Irresponsible Pictures instead. 

This is THE podcast for all of your Mark Stafford needs.

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OVER MY SHOULDER, OLDER AND OLDER, THAT'S WHAT I TOLD YA, OVER AND OVER

Well, well, well if it isn't Gary Lactus and The Beast Must Die crawling back on their knees, begging forgiveness for missing a week of the world's otherwise most reliable podcast.  Angry hoards of ex listeners have verbally and physically assaulted the punctual pair, blaming them for all manner of important, missed appointments because they set their watches to SILENCE!'s famous regularity.

Thankfully, that's all over now and the two men are back to perform that most incredible feat, talking about stuff.  Stuff like Small Press Day at Gosh, and people like Sean Azzopardi, Molly Stocks, Mark Stafford, Douglas Noble and Fraser Geesin and Dan Cox's comic, Jeff.

Gareth Hopkins' kickstarter, Explosive Sweet Freezer Razors gets a shout too.

Then it's off to The Reviewniverse, with Counterfeit Girl, Geezer, John's Worth and Marvel's adaptation of Dune

Wrapping up, The Beast has watched The Boys and She Hulk and Gary has been listening to The Blindboy Podcast

There's probably more that I've forgotten but you can find out what that is by listening... NOW!

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SHOW ME THAT I'M EVERYWHERE AND GET ME HOME FOR TEA

Somehow climbing out of a river of turds that flows from broken window in Hell, Gary Lactus and The Beast Must Die convene to just try and have some fun for once. It's all here! Talking! Life! Poor sound quality! Fraser Geesin's Patreon! Cats knocking over microphones! Excuses! Comics! Great news inside!

Covered within this soup are such titles as Monster Fan Club, The Green Lantern, Guy Gardener: Warrior, It's Lonely At The Centre of the Earth and more!

Oh, and if you weren't aware, we lost a good friend. Help provide support for his family here

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The cult film podcast with Mat Colegate (aka Lord Nuneaton Savage) & Dan White (aka The Beast Must Die).

The Savage Beast podcadst: The Savage Best #1

In this short sharp shock of an episode we discuss the first entry in the Saveg Beast official canon:

The Ritual (David Bruckner, 2017)

Check out The Savage Beast tumblr, for some visual accompaniment to the discussion: https://savagebeastpodcast.tumblr.com/

Follow us on Twitter @SavBeastPod

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I CAN THINK OF NO WHERE I WOULD RATHER BE, READING MORNING PAPERS, DRINKING MORNING TEA

No blurb this week as we're all swarming around the centre of the hive, desperately hoping to mate with the Queen.

As we all know, some weeks are longer than other weeks and it really has been a particularly long week since last week's episode.  Despite this and even though The Beast Must Die has covid we still managed a pod like particularly brave soldiers.

Soldier Gary Lactus sliced his thumb quite badly but still managed to get to Who Am I Now, the exhibition of paintings by Glyn Dillon.

Soldier The Beast Must Die saw Doctor Strange: Marble Madness!. He didn't like it and on the podcast he doesn't like it for a long time. Delicious!

Let's go now to Reviewniverse, with Captain Britain, Light Brigade, Statics and Omege The Unknown of course.

Seeing us out it's a reckymend of Paul O'Connell and Rhys Wooten's No Garnish podcast and The Beast Must Die's experience at Steve Walsh's Memorial.

Farewell, friends.

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The cult film podcast with Mat Colegate (aka Lord Nuneaton Savage) & Dan White (aka The Beast Must Die).

The Savage Beast no.21: Wizards of Gore

In this latest episode we're discussing a topic very near ot our collective heart - GORE! In a truly epic episode, we're discussing a whole plethora of visceral treats and filmic grue, based around the following newly minted cateGOREies:

• Kinder-Gore
• Devastating gore
• Fist-pump Gore
• Surreal Gore
• Transform-a-Gore

Check out The Savage Beast tumblr, for some visual accompaniment to the discussion: https://savagebeastpodcast.tumblr.com/

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OH MOTHER DEAR WE SADLY FEAR THAT WE HAVE SOILED OUR MITTENS

Another week, another blurb. People often ask, "Hey! How do you keep your blurbs so fresh and new, week in, week out? It's amazing! You're amazing! How can I be like you?". Well, we here at SILENCE! Blurb Inc. are tired of this question. So tired in fact that we're now offering our SILENCE! Blurb Writing Masterclass. Learn from the best to realise your potential in the lucrative field of Blubcraft. Packed with high profile contributions from Todd Carty on how to find inspiration, Danny Dyer on the impact of brevity and Neil Gaiman on the power of blurbs. Send your £500 to the usual address.

The tired dads return and Gary's been selling off parts of his collection! Both Gary Lactus and The Beast Must Die have been guesting on Shelf Dust Presents The War Effort.  The Beast has been enjoying Paul Morley's biography of Tony Wilson and the surprisingly heavy inclusion of Kieron Gillen therein.  There's a non-review of The Eternals and chitter-chatter regarding the SILENCE! Juniors' emergent relationship with super heroes and Gary's quest for space.  

Sadmin.  The tragic loss of Steve Walsh and Garry Leach.

The chaps pick themselves up with the exciting birth of Dark and Golden and the peculiar pleasure of comics speculation.

Off, down and away into The Reviewniverse with Mek Memoirs, Kamen Rider, The X-Cellent, Orphan and the Five Beasts, Step By Bloody Step, a comic called Uncanny X-Men and The Sharkfighters of course.

Then with a yawn we learn that Fraser Geesin will be at the Brighton Illustration Fair on Sunday 1st May, The Beast went to the London Comic Mart and that finding your own comics for sale secondhand really makes you feel like you've made it.

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The cult film podcast with Mat Colegate (aka Lord Nuneaton Savage) & Dan White (aka The Beast Must Die).

The Savage Beast no.20: Man Vs Nature

In this latest episode we take a look at a selection of films looking at the eternal conflict between mankind and that big green mother that's red in tooth and claw, nature. Films discussed include

• Rituals (Peter Carter, 1977)
• The Long Weekend (Colin Eggleston, 1978)
• Wild Beasts (Franco E Prosperi, 1984)
• Hold The Dark (Jeremy Saulnier, 2018)

Check out The Savage Beast tumblr, for some visual accompaniment to the discussion: https://savagebeastpodcast.tumblr.com/

Follow us on Twitter @SavBeastPod

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LET’S GO TO MISTERLAND, THE LAND OF MAGIC

You have passed the final test. Welcome… to TEAM BASTARD FORCE!  We are an elite team of men, dedicated to protecting the patriarchy at any cost!  Over there is The Ab, whose might always makes right!  This is the mysterious Explaino!  Who knows where from where his opinions hail but they are always right!  Be careful now, don’t get too close to the surly Incedible Sulk, who can slowly crush any opponent’s will to live.  I am your heroic leader, Mister Right.  I sit on my all-powerful Testosterthrone and direct proceedings.  Now, new recruit, I am entrusting you with the highest responsibility a man can shoulder… you shall be… PROTECTOR OF THE BLURB!!!

YOU WANT A PODCAST WHERE TWO PALS TALK ABOUT COMICS AND CHILDREN’S BOOKS FRO THE 70s IN DIFFERENT LOCATIONS OVER THREE NONCONSECUTIVE DAYS?!  YOU GOT A PODCAST WHERE TWO PALS TALK ABOUT COMICS AND CHILDREN’S BOOKS FRO THE 70s IN DIFFERENT LOCATIONS OVER THREE NONCONSECUTIVE DAYS!!

The men kick off with a couple of separate pond adventures and some mourning over Ian Kennedy and Neighbours.

Into the Reviewniverse with Dave Cooper’s Mud Bite, A Walk Through Hell, Good Boy Magazine, Grendel: Devil’s Odyssey, Hannah Berry’s Livestock and Deathlok of course!

The Beast Must Die gets the telling-off from Pat Mills that comes to everyone in time.

Then it’s time for the brand new podcast-within-a-podcast, Men On Men.  This week, Gary Lactus and The Beast Must Die look at the first two Mr. Men books, Mr. Tickle and Mr. Greedy.

See you next week!

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I'M GOING TO FAST! I GOT NO BREAKS ON MY ROLLER SKATES!

Hi, come this way, that's right, just through here.  Now, our first exhibit is this collection of bricks.  As you can see there's five in total.  Two of them are the same and one of them is made of latex.  That's right! It's a stunt brick!  Then over here we have a wooden duck painted like Superman, right next to this wide-necked plastic bottle with some piss in it.  Well that's it.  I hope you've enjoyed your tour of the Museum of Gary Lactus.  Oh, I almost forgot, here we have a classic blurb written by the human disappointment himself.

Two men!  One pod!  Some saucy innuendo!  Some sentences ending in exclamation marks!  After a break, Gary Lactus and The Beast Must Die reacquaint themselves with a bit of chat about Douglas Noble and pal's A Pocket Chiller series, not doing comedy and an imaginary space battle between billionaires.

Then it's off to a bumper Reviewniverse with Simon Hanselmann's Crisis Zone, Jack Teagle's Collected Madness, Fight! and Teagle Comics, Cinema Purgatorio, Nick Edwards' It Had To Be You, Doctor Tom Brent - Young Intern, Battle, Walls' Chill, Sean Azzopardi, Orphan and the Five Beasts, Mr. Men and Battle Action Force of course.

Then it's away but not before you are urged to buy John McRea's stuff to help him through a pretty devastating bout of long covid.

See you next week!

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The cult film podcast with Mat Colegate (aka Lord Nuneaton Savage) & Dan White (aka The Beast Must Die).

The Savage Beast no.19: Bring on the Bad Guys

In this latest episode we take a look at some of our favourite filmic villains.  This time we're taking a look at a whole heap of films, through the prism of  four character archetypes:

• The Bully
• The Pillar of Society
• The Bad Place
• The Corrupted Idealist
• The Disruptor

Check out The Savage Beast tumblr, for some visual accompaniment to the discussion: https://savagebeastpodcast.tumblr.com/

Follow us on Twitter @SavBeastPod

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The cult film podcast with Mat Colegate (aka Lord Nuneaton Savage) & Dan White (aka The Beast Must Die).

The Savage Beast: Get Stuffed!

In this special overfull post-Christmas episode, we look at a selection of films we've been gorging on over the festive period. Films discussed include:

• 50/50 (Charles Martin Smith, 1992)
• Branded to Kill (Seijun Suzuki, 1967) 
• The Harder They Fall (Jeymes Samuel, 2021)
• Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (Kevnin Reynolds, 1991)
• The Blood on Satan's Claw (Piers Haggard, 1971)
• Black Christmas (Sophia Takal, 2019)
• The Empty Man (David Prior, 2020) 
• Predator 2 (Stephen Hopkins, 1990)
• Last Train to Christmas (Julian Kemp, 2021)
• Jake Speed (Andrew Lane, 1986)
• Raiders of the Lost Ark (Steven Spielberg, 1981)
• Gremlins (Joe Dante, 1984)

Check out The Savage Beast tumblr, for some visual accompaniment to the discussion: https://savagebeastpodcast.tumblr.com/

Follow us on Twitter @SavBeastPod

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IT'S HAPPENING NOW. THE CRAZED IN THE HOT-ZONE

Leaping lizards, it's only our flipping 300th episode specktaklyar! OR IS IT? No it is. OR IS IT? You'll have to listen to find out won't you?

In this firm, festive and juicy edition of the world's first, favourite and indeed only podcast SILENCE!, Gary Lactus & The Beast Must Die answer listener questions. That's right it's primo pod-content provided by the loyal SILENCE massive and let me tell you the boys rise to the occasion, like a couple of rum happy castaways bobbing on a raft made of pure hot comic opinions.

Lots of things discussed, all of it delivered in the mighty, meaty, beaty, big and bouncy SILENCE manner. I'm not going to list it all here, that would spoil the fun and it has nothing to do with laziness.

Thanks to all who provided questions, and keep it festive, freaky during the holiday season. Be nice to each other.

END MESSAGE

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The cult film podcast with Mat Colegate (aka Lord Nuneaton Savage) & Dan White (aka The Beast Must Die).

The Savage Beast No.18: Fantasy Fusion

In this eighteenth episode, we look at a selection of films where fantasy elbows it's way into the everyday. Films discussed include:

• The Green Knight (David Lowery, 2021)
• The Fisher King (Terry Gilliam, 1991)
• Highlander (Russell Mulcahy, 1986)
• Yokai Monsters: 100 Monsters (Kimiyosha Yasuda, 1968)

Check out The Savage Beast tumblr, for some visual accompaniment to the discussion: https://savagebeastpodcast.tumblr.com/

Follow us on Twitter @SavBeastPod

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The cult film podcast with Mat Colegate (aka Lord Nuneaton Savage) & Dan White (aka The Beast Must Die).

The Savage Beast - Halloween Special

A special episode wherein The Beast Must Die has curated a programme of freaky treats for a perfect Halloween night film marathon. Spookies discussed include

• Tales From The Crypt : All Through The House  (Robert Zemeckis, 1989)
• The Hole (Joe Dante, 2009) 
• Apaches (John MacKenzie, 1977)
• Ghostwatch (Lesley Manning, 1992)
• Dumbland (David Lynch, 2002)
• Sleepaway Camp (Robert Hiltzik, 1983)

Check out The Savage Beast tumblr, for some visual accompaniment to the discussion: https://savagebeastpodcast.tumblr.com/

Follow us on Twitter @SavBeastPod

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IT KEPT TALKING SO I PUT IT IN THE LAUNDRY

Oh cripes! Sorry, yes, erm... of course, yes, no quite right, yes, hmm... Gosh, what to do, what to do... Oh blimey, sorry, I wasn't prepared for this, ah, um, as you can probably tell! Haha! Ahem, right, yes. Okay, right... Ah, yes! Right then, here we go... Blurb.

Forget about the hot shit in your pants, that can wait. THIS can't. It's SILENCE! time!

The two buddy pals, Gary Lactus and The Beast Must Be Regretting Not Choosing A Shorter Name By Now are back to talk about whatever they bloody well like as long as it kinda relates to comics (or not).

<ITEM> The usual Thought Bubble preparation, anticipation and panic.

<ITEM> Halloween japes of yore.

<ITEM> Come with us to Reviewniverse, with  Blocks by Oliver East, The Mighty Crusaders, Pride and Joy, Second Coming and The Comics Journal of course.

<ITEM> off to bed, but not before some Reckymends of stuff like Taskmaster New Zealand and podcasts such as The Weird Rap Podcast, the Cartoonist Kayfabe Frank Quitely Interview and good, long enthuse over List Off.

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The cult film podcast with Mat Colegate (aka Lord Nuneaton Savage) & Dan White (aka The Beast Must Die).

The Savage Beast No.17: Shootin' the Savage Sh*t

In this seventeenth episode, we take a load off and just talk about some interesting stuff we've seen recently. It's our Summer Holiday Special. Films discussed include:

• Kandisha (Alexandre Bustillo & Julien Maury, 2020)
• Vampires vs The Bronx (Oz Rodriguez, 2020)
   
• The Reef (Andrew Traucki, 2010) 
• The Descent  (Neil Marshall, 2005)
• Wolf Guy (Kazuhiko Yamaguchi, 1975)
• Host (Rob Savage, 2o19)

Check out The Savage Beast tumblr, for some visual accompaniment to the discussion: https://savagebeastpodcast.tumblr.com/

Follow us on Twitter @SavBeastPod

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SONG LYRICS HERE

Look, do you want a blurb or a podcast? You can't have both.

Gary Lactus and The Beast Must Die are back together. It's a sad occasion as comedian and SILENCE! contributor, Phil Jerrod has passed away.  This month's Patreon money plus extra will be going to Sarcoma UK.  Perhaps you'd consider sponsoring Julie Oliver and Phil Lucas as they run in his memory.

https://justgiving.com/team/teamjerrodtoo

Anyway, there's other stuff here. Gary tells you about his absence, The Beast recommends the One Day In America documentary and both of them decide to maybe think about getting ready for Thought Bubble.  There's a bit of Neighbours chat in there too, sadly and inevitably.

Come with us to Reviewniverse, with Kane & Able, Superman and The Authority, God Of Tremors, The Extreme Self and The Age Of Earthquakes by Douglas Coupland and Room For Love of course.

Stop!  Look!   Listen!

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HEY PUT IT DOWN, THAT'S DAD'S SWORD!

It's a Very Special Episode! The Beast Must Die is flying solo, with an episode-length exegesis on the myriad pleasures and horrors of the fabled Prestige Format Comic. It's an epic for our times for sure, and when you look at these times that tells you everything you need to know about this epic...

<ITEM>Okay gird your girdles, stop your grinnin' and drop your linen...here we go. The Beast talks about Batman: Gotham By Gaslight, Batman: Holy Terror, Batman: Full Circle, Batman: The Scottish Connection, Batman: Mitefall, Batman: Year 100, Batman: Manbat, Batman: The Cult, Batman: Run Riddler Run, Robin 3000, World's Finest, Catwoman Defiant, Cosmic Odyssey, Legend Of The Green Flame, Blackhawk, Deadman: Love & Death, Deadman: Exorcism, The Horrorist, The Golden Age, Hawkworl, The Books of Magic, Martian Manhunter: American Secrets, Adam Strange: The Man of Two Worlds, Twilight, OMAC, Justice Inc, Black Orchid, The Prisoner: Shattered Visage, Breathtaker, Black Mask, Gilgamesh II, The Nazz, My Name Is Chaos,  Clash, The Psycho, Skull & Bones, Tempus Fugitive, The Griffin, Grendel Vs Batman... sweet christmas... I need a lie down. 

<ITEM> Normal business resumes soon. 

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You can support us using Patreon if you like.

This edition of SILENCE! is proudly sponsored by the greatest comics shop on the planet, DAVE'S COMICS of Brighton. It's also sponsored the greatest comics shop on the planet GOSH! Comics of London.

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The cult film podcast with Mat Colegate (aka Lord Nuneaton Savage) & Dan White (aka The Beast Must Die).

The Savage Beast No.16: Christ on a bike! - Religious Horror Films

In this sixteenth episode, we immerse ourselves in cinematic religiosity, satanism, green slime, posession, sainthood and madness. Films discussed include:

• Saint Maud (Rose Glass, 2020)
• Abby (William Girdler, 1974)
• Prince of Darkness (John Carpenter, 1987)
• The Church (Michele Soavi, 1989)
  
  

Check out The Savage Beast tumblr, for some visual accompaniment to the discussion: https://savagebeastpodcast.tumblr.com/

Follow us on Twitter @SavBeastPod

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The cult film podcast with Mat Colegate (aka Lord Nuneaton Savage) & Dan White (aka The Beast Must Die).

The Savage Beast No.15: E.T. F*CK OFF!

In this fifteenth episode, we take a look at some films about evil aliens. No muss, no fuss. Leave your brains at the door and grab a tentacle.  Films discussed include:

• Psycho Goreman (Stephen Kostanski, 2020)
• Killer Klowns From Outerspace (Stephen Chiodo, 1988)
• Xtro (Harry Bromley Davenport, 1982)
• The Hidden (Jack Sholder, 1987)
   

Check out The Savage Beast tumblr, for some visual accompaniment to the discussion: https://savagebeastpodcast.tumblr.com/

Follow us on Twitter @SavBeastPod

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BUGGER THE KITCHEN NAZIS

Gary Lactus and The Beast Must Die are back to play whilst the cat’s away, listen now as happily they squeak about things such as how  Cindy and Biscuit is doing, (no idea), Andrew O’Neill, Duncing, Passiondale and Small Press Day before scuttling into The Reviewniverse

Here we find Handlebar Gumbo, Friday, Torse, Jack Kirby’s 2001, Spider-Men: Double Trouble, Looshkin and Evan Dorkin’s adaptation of Bill And Ted’s Bogus Journey.

WARNING: Contains two songs for the self indulgent hell of it.

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THE GAME WILL NEVER BE OVER BECAUSE WE'RE KEEPING THE DREAM ALIVE

Oh my goodness gracious! Ugh! What's that unholy stench? Oh, I see. It's bloody Gary Lactus writing the blurb. Why's HE writing the blurb? He's crap at writing the blurb, (and he smells). Huh? It's The Beast Must Die's birthday?! And Gary's special gift to his best pal is writing the blurb for him? Man, that's a shit present! Is that literally all he's doing for him? What a chundering arsehole! I'm glad I don't have a "friend" like Gary Lactus. Welcome dearest of listeners to the closest thing The Beast Must Die will get to a birthday Party. Here's a special podcast for a very special boy. <ITEM>There'a a luxuriously long preamble where your main characters talk merrily about Big Train, Look Around You and The Geesin Family Output, The Lovecraft Investigations, The Beef And Dairy Network and  Petscop. Oh, and The Beast reviews Gary Lactus's Journey To The Surface Of The Earth #2, still interminably available from FraserGeesin.com <ITEM>Eventually they get round to talking about some comics.  What are those comics?  These are those comics:  Batman Annual #5, Judge Dredd: Crusade, Dog Man, Deathshead:  Body In Question and Jim. <ITEM>As promised last week, The Beast takes Gary on the start of a choose-your-own adventure!  This could be the start of something beautiful. <ITEM>Time to listen!

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