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Explore every episode of the podcast Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

Dive into the complete episode list for Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You. Each episode is cataloged with detailed descriptions, making it easy to find and explore specific topics. Keep track of all episodes from your favorite podcast and never miss a moment of insightful content.

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TitlePub. DateDuration
Debunking the Myths: The Power of a Liberal Arts Education18 Dec 202400:35:40

Most kids have no idea what a liberal arts education really is, or why it might be a great choice!  Today on Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, we discuss a liberal arts education, why it’s beneficial, and so much more! We delve into what makes a liberal arts college unique, how it differs from a traditional university, the benefits of this kind of education, and what a liberal arts degree can be used for. We go on to discuss Meredith’s experience of being a liberal arts major and how it gave her an exploratory mindset before sharing our take on how kids can create relatively ordinary careers after studying abstract liberal arts degrees. We even tell you about 3+2/4+1 programs and how they work. Lastly, we remind you of the benefits of choosing a liberal arts program for your studies and encourage you not to ignore that as an option. Thanks for tuning in!

Key Points From This Episode:

  • [0:01:50] Today’s topic of discussion: defending liberal arts majors. 
  • [0:02:54] We explain what a liberal arts education actually is. 
  • [0:07:52] Some examples of liberal arts colleges in the USA. 
  • [0:09:57] What a liberal arts degree can be used for career-wise. 
  • [0:13:19] The benefits of having a liberal arts education (according to Meredith).
  • [0:22:56] How to make a ‘normal’ career from an abstract liberal arts degree. 
  • [0:31:01] A breakdown of what the 3+2/4+1 programs are and how they work. 
  • [0:33:14] We encourage you not to discount liberal arts programs as options for studies. 

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

The Real Talk on Teen Substance Use: Bella’s Story and What Parents Need to Know11 Dec 202400:36:13

Have you equipped your teen to make informed choices about substance use? During this episode, Bella, a Senior at a Boarding School back East, joins us to share the inside scoop of what’s really going on at teen parties. Since the start of her high school career, she has been involved in advocating for teens with substance abuse issues. Join us for a look behind the scenes at what motivates kids to use substances at a young age including social pressure and the problem of mental health. We discuss the age-old belief that it’s safer to allow your kids to drink at home, and Bella offers her perspective on how easy it is for adults to tell if a young person is abusing substances. You’ll also hear about the level of access that suburban teens have to illegal substances, and Bella’s opinion on what it might look like to nurture an open and honest relationship with your child from a young age. This conversation also emphasizes the importance of educating your kids rather than punishing them. Thanks for tuning in.

How to Make the Most Out of College Visits at Your High School09 Oct 202400:30:43

Amid the pile of college applications, seniors are often encouraged to attend rep visits—but what exactly is a rep visit, and why should your child take full advantage of it? In this week’s episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, Cathy and Meredith explore how you and your teen can maximize the benefits of college rep visits at their school. They break down why these visits are important, and what to do (and what to avoid) while attending, and Cathy shares one of the most commonly missed opportunities during rep visits. You’ll also hear about the types of questions students should ask, which ones to skip, and what demonstrated interest is, and how it can sometimes play a role in the admissions process. If your child hasn’t mentioned anything about rep visits at school, be sure to check in with them or reach out to the school for more information. Tune in now for all this, and more!

Key Points From This Episode:

  • [0:03:00] A timely, yet practical, issue that is today’s focus.
  • [0:03:25] What we mean by “rep visits”.
  • [0:04:00] Why it’s a good idea for students to attend these sessions.
  • [0:05:10] We explain what these sessions encompass (from first-hand experience)!
  • [0:07:40] What to do when you show up to your scheduled rep visit.
  • [0:08:45] What not to do at these rep visits.
  • [0:09:23] The main purpose of the rep’s job.
  • [0:10:20] A major missed opportunity Cathy has seen in these visits.
  • [0:11:00] Our thoughts on the types and range of questions you can ask.
  • [0:12:50] Why a little bit of prep in advance is not a bad idea.
  • [0:13:10] What questions you should and shouldn’t ask.
  • [0:15:30] Showing up to visits in respectful ways.
  • [0:17:20] Why email communication is encouraged (for the right reasons).
  • [0:20:00] Life as a rep and what makes it just that little bit better.
  • [0:22:10] Why it’s not the end of the world if your child can’t make the rep visit.
  • [0:23:18] We talk about demonstrated interest and how reps play a role.
  • [0:24:13] How demonstrating interests varies but often involves attending formal programs that the school puts on.
  • [0:24:46] What demonstrating interest can look like.
  • [0:26:00] The types of schools that look at demonstrated interest.
  • [0:26:40] Taking note of how reps respond to savvy questions.
  • [0:27:15] Checking in with your child about school visits and doing some research on them.

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

The Role of Parents in the College Admissions Process02 Oct 202400:41:57

Parenting is incredibly difficult and stressful as it is, but when you add the college admissions process, that stress multiplies! So how can we help you find the best way to help your child through this process? Today on the show, we are discussing the role of parents in the college admissions process. Tuning in, you’ll hear about the danger of controlling your kids and trying to get too involved in this experience, why parents often have a dated outlook on colleges, and the importance of reminding your child that you will be proud of them regardless of the college they go to because their success and worthiness is not defined by the college they go to. We delve into how you can support your child through this process before discussing how parents can manage their anxiety to protect their children from potential damage. Hear about how your approach to this process can make or break the experience for your child, be reminded to meet your kid where they are and bring humility into this process by accepting that there are people who know what they’re talking about and can help your child. Finally, we urge you to recognize the impact you will have on this process for your child. The children who have the most positive experiences can largely attribute that to the role their parents take on in this process. Thank you for listening to another episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You!

 

Key Points From This Episode:

 

  • [0:02:05] Why we decided to speak about the role of parents in college admissions.
  • [0:04:04] Why trying to control your teenagers through this process only increases stress. 
  • [0:11:52] Being really careful about your level of involvement in this process as a parent.
  • [0:18:07] The importance of telling your child that you’ll be so proud of the college they go to. 
  • [0:21:13] Some ways to support your teenager during this potentially difficult process.
  • [0:26:21] Trying to maintain perspective and find healthy ways to manage your anxiety. 
  • [0:27:52] The danger of expecting a certain level of maturation from your teenagers. 
  • [0:33:32] Why parents need to bring humility into the college admissions process. 
  • [0:35:22] How you can affect your child’s college admission process positively or negatively. 

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

When to Step In and When to Step Back: A Parent's Guide to School Drama Without the Mama Bear Meltdown25 Sep 202400:35:33

When we come in hot, fully activated to defend and advocate for our children, we may end up causing more harm than good. Sometimes, as parents, it’s essential to check our tone, take a breath, and approach situations with curiosity. Think of it as a partnership. Join Cathy and Meredith on this episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You as they dive into a discussion about when it is and isn’t, appropriate for parents to step in and how to handle school drama without the 'Mama (or Papa) Bear Meltdown!' They explore different examples, discussing how a parent’s tone can completely change the entire experience and why, when necessary, you shouldn’t be deterred by red tape when advocating for your child’s needs. They also highlight key aspects of a well-received intervention, what to consider when making requests, and why it’s crucial to think about what you say, how you say it, and to whom you’re saying it. Be sure to tune in for all this and much more!

Key Points From This Episode:

  • [0:01:00] A timely discussion as the school year kicks off.
  • [0:02:30] Subscribe and share our podcast!
  • [0:03:20] When is it, and isn’t, appropriate for parents to step in at school.
  • [0:04:45] Some situations where parents shouldn’t be playing any role.
  • [0:07:00] An example of when it could be appropriate for parents to step in.
  • [0:08:35] The importance of your tone when stepping in.
  • [0:09:15] We look at other examples of when stepping in would be appropriate.
  • [0:13:10] Don’t be deterred by red tape when advocacy for your child is needed.
  • [0:15:30] Any time you are concerned about your child’s safety.
  • [0:15:45] What gets parents in trouble when reaching out to schools.
  • [0:16:30] We delve into the best approach for stepping in.
  • [0:19:45] An important aspect to remember when reaching out with requests.
  • [0:22:00] Try to approach things with curiosity, and not as an activated parent-warrior.
  • [0:25:40] How the college process can also bring forth bad parenting intervention.
  • [0:28:50] Providing critical information and context about your child’s health.
  • [0:33:55] We share the only time when parents reach out is bothersome.

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episodes

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

A Sh**ty Life Update From Cathy18 Sep 202400:34:39

Today’s episode is about perseverance, resilience, and letting go of the things we can’t control. Earlier this year, Cathy received news that the lump she found on her body was indeed malignant, but the most important thing is everything she did after receiving the news. In today’s conversation, we learn about Cathy’s diagnosis and how she processed this revelation before exploring how Meredith came to terms with the news. We discover why and how Cathy’s plight fits perfectly with the themes of this podcast, how she’s maintained an optimistic outlook throughout her journey, how you can build a similar mindset of positivity, the keys to harnessing resilience, and the value of community in helping you overcome life’s struggles. To end, we unpack the dangers of toxic positivity, and Cathy shares her final words of gratitude – yes, you heard right, gratitude!

Key Points From This Episode:

  • [0:01:55] Cathy lets us in on her recent cancer diagnosis.
  • [0:03:33] Meredith’s first experience of seeing Cathy receive treatment.
  • [0:05:38] Why Cathy’s struggle complements the themes of this podcast.
  • [0:07:13] How she’s managed to maintain a positive mindset since discovery.
  • [0:12:26] The best practices for cultivating and maintaining optimism.
  • [0:18:31] Why Cathy continued to work even while in treatment – building resilience.
  • [0:21:43] A reminder of the undeniable power of community in navigating life’s storms.
  • [0:26:00] How to manage your worrying habits, and a side note on toxic positivity.
  • [0:30:17] Cathy’s final words of gratitude – yes, gratitude. 

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

How to Write a Kick-Ass Supplemental Essay That Will Make Admissions Say 'Wow!'11 Sep 202400:42:52

It’s mid-August, and college application deadlines are fast approaching. So, get ready for more 'college stuff' as we dive into how to write kick-ass supplemental essays that will make you stand out to admissions! In today’s world, most schools require at least two to three different supplements with their application, and highly selective schools often ask for even more. Join Cathy and Meredith as they share their insights on all things college supplements, including why colleges ask for them and why you need to take them seriously. They’ll explore different themes and templates, discuss how supplements can reveal what a college truly values, and guide listeners through a few key essay questions. Be sure to tune in for all this and more! And remember, make sure your kids don’t phone it in because admissions officers can tell!

Key Points From This Episode:

  • [0:01:00] College applications are due any minute, have you turned on the Common App?
  • [0:01:30] What today’s episode is all about.
  • [0:02:15] Our views on supplements: the feelings and thoughts behind them.
  • [0:07:28] Using supplements to discourage applications. 
  • [0:08:00] Why colleges are asking for supplements and why they have to be taken seriously.
  • [0:09:25] Why you need to have a nice, small, tight list of potential colleges.
  • [0:10:35] A quick look at the book Lifting the Veil of Enrollment Management.
  • [0:11:44] The themes often seen in the template of college supplement requests.
  • [0:13:28] How supplements can reveal what a college cares about (do your research!)
  • [0:15:25] Biggest mistakes we’ve seen in the college essay-prompt format.
  • [0:16:30] The importance of belonging to a community.
  • [0:19:00] We talk about a certain trend and “haze of skepticism” around adolescents that doesn’t seem to play well in a community.
  • [0:21:40] An asterisk for those who don’t know what they want to major in.
  • [0:23:00] Identity and the challenges with this essay.
  • [0:26:30] Love yourself for who you are and show up as your authentic self.
  • [0:27:30] The hard parts of the social issue essay.
  • [0:28:30] A great place for parents to model and open up conversations.
  • [0:31:20] Why Meredith doesn’t necessarily like the social question.
  • [0:32:20] The adolescents of today versus those in the past.
  • [0:34:00] The roommate letter.
  • [0:35:15] The boom in popularity for the one-liners.
  • [0:38:00] What not to do in the favorite quote section.
  • [0:39:11] The net takeaways from our thoughts on college supplements.

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Common App

Lifting the Veil on Enrollment Management: How a Powerful Industry is Limiting Social Mobility in American Higher Education

The Daily Pnut

Dear Kitten

Village Coaches Free Webinars

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Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

How to Prepare Your Middle Schooler for High School04 Sep 202400:37:14

As children grow and transition from middle school to high school, their world inevitably becomes bigger and more complex. And rightly so! Welcome back to another episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You. Today, we're turning our attention to the ‘littles’, our middle schoolers! Join us as we explore how to best prepare your middle schooler for the journey to high school. We dive into how to best prepare your middle schooler for the journey to high school by exploring two of the biggest transitions: academic and social. We also discuss some of the most common issues freshmen struggle with, the evolving role of parents, and how boundaries begin to shift, along with why it's crucial to create a safe space for your kids to have those confusing conversations with you. Don’t miss out as we cover all this and much more about getting your littles ready for high school. Thanks for listening!

Key Points From This Episode:

  • [0:00:50] What listeners can expect from today’s episode.
  • [0:01:30] Common topics in the transition from middle school to high school.
  • [0:03:00] The most noticeable differences to expect from middle school to high school.
  • [0:06:00] How the social dynamic also changes.
  • [0:07:45] The culture shift for students who change schools (to a new high school).
  • [0:08:30] We discuss some of the things freshmen often struggle with.
  • [0:09:30] The lack of high school coaching on how students should learn.
  • [0:10:45] Why students need to build and adjust good study habits.
  • [0:11:30] How students can become proficient in advocating for themselves.
  • [0:12:45] The parent role and how they can help their kids with these transitions.
  • [0:15:00] The importance of teaching kids how to reflect.
  • [0:16:16] Normalizing asking for help.
  • [0:16:40] The freshmen social concern.
  • [0:20:20] We talk about the shift in grades freshmen often encounter.
  • [0:21:40] How the boundaries of what is appropriate for a parent start to shift.
  • [0:25:55] Going over the school’s handbook with your child and other school policies.
  • [0:27:10] Attending the parent orientation sessions.
  • [0:27:50] Getting familiar with the content in content your children will be exposed to.
  • [0:30:55] Let’s talk about parties! (And what exactly the word “party” means)
  • [0:31:50] Boundaries, parents. Adjust them to be appropriate for your high schoolers.
  • [0:32:40] Setting up the stage for your kid to feel safe to have confusing conversations with you.
  • [0:34:15] We look at screen time and how that changes as kids enter high school.
  • [0:36:30] Keeping the long-term goal (college) in your focus.

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

We're Baaaaack!28 Aug 202400:06:47

Welcome to Season 4 of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You! Join Cathy and Meredith as they dive into the real conversations and hidden truths of teenage life, bringing you more fresh insights and practical advice to help you navigate the teen years with confidence and understanding. Are you ready for candid discussions, expert tips, and plenty of laughs? Stay tuned for a season packed with stories and strategies (and maybe even some songs) to make parenting your teenager a little bit easier and a whole lot more rewarding!

Key Points From This Episode:

  • [0:00:45] Welcome to Season 4 of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You!
  • [0:02:10] What to expect from our upcoming episodes.
  • [0:03:08] Your invitation to subscribe and leave us a positive review.
  • [0:04:36] Insight into our recent goal-setting getaway.

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Conquering Senioritis: How to Overcome and Defeat High School Burnout29 May 202400:30:02

As the end of senior year approaches, a widespread affliction known as senioritis begins to affect many American high school students. In this episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, we explore how to recognize telltale symptoms of the “itis,” address some of its more serious consequences, and offer practical advice for encouraging seniors to make wise choices, even as their motivation wanes. We also share strategies for striking the right balance between letting teens enjoy all the fun and excitement of senior year while emphasizing the importance of a strong academic finish. Tune in today for your comprehensive guide to conquering senioritis, overcoming high school burnout, and ensuring your teen’s success!

 

Key Points From This Episode:

 

  • [0:04:03] Trademark indications that your kid has come down with senioritis.
  • [0:07:41] Consequences of senioritis, from summer school to losing scholarships.
  • [0:12:32] Why it’s important to discuss these consequences with seniors.
  • [0:15:41] Advice for parents to help their kids make better choices.
  • [0:19:01] Reasons that absences and tardiness should not be tolerated.
  • [0:21:20] Opportunities to remind seniors of their place in community.
  • [0:22:41] How much assertiveness and guidance is required from parents.
  • [0:28:06] Why this is a special time to bond before your kids go to college.

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Exploring the Potential of Gap Years22 May 202400:24:30

It’s May, so our seniors are heading off to college! And as the sun sets on high school, fatigue, burnout, or even simple wanderlust may lead many to explore the option of a gap year. Welcome back to Shit Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You as today, we explore the highs and lows of taking a year’s break between high school and college. After explaining why we chose today’s topic, we learn about the reasons for wanting to pursue a gap year, the first steps toward taking a gap year, the dangers of taking leave to improve your academic record, and our guidelines and best practices to carry you forward during your year off. We also dive deeper into exploring the value of a gap year, gap year pre-package programs, the power of intention, and how a gap year can also be a way for you to take the time to focus on your mental health.    

Key Points From This Episode:

  • [0:00:49] Why we’ve chosen to speak about gap years. 
  • [0:01:53] Everything you need to know for your first steps toward taking a gap year.
  • [0:06:13] The reasons that kids and their families push for gap years.
  • [0:08:18] Assessing the dangers of a gap year to improve your academic record.
  • [0:10:23] Gap year options, guidelines, and best practices.
  • [0:12:55] Understanding the value gap year, and why it can always be seen as a gift. 
  • [0:14:06] Gap year pre-package programs. 
  • [0:15:26] How to overcome the fear of falling behind.
  • [0:17:32] The disadvantages of taking a gap year; why intention matters.
  • [0:20:45] Gap year programs for mental health. 

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Our Most Frequently Asked Questions: Applying to College08 May 202400:33:42

One of the questions we hear several times a week is about applying to college. We kick off our conversation by weighing in on whether or not you should tell your high school college counselor that you are also consulting with an IEC, or private college counselor. We touch on what you should and shouldn’t disclose in your application, how many times you should take the SATs, and the role of AP scores in building your profile. Join us as we chat about all things waitlists, letters of continued interest, recommenders, and more. Lastly, we unpack whether or not it is worthwhile to add in portfolio work or any other documents that you think may strengthen your case. Tune in today to hear all this and more! 

Key Points From This Episode:

  • [0:01:47] What this episode is dedicated to: FAQs related to the college application process. 
  • [0:02:11] Should you tell your high school college counselor that you are working with an IEC or private college counselor?
  • [0:05:09] Whether or not you should disclose a learning difficulty or mental health challenge. 
  • [0:10:24] A different perspective on the influence of disclosure on your college application.
  • [0:12:00] The number of times necessary to take the SAT.
  • [0:15:14] Answering whether or not you should include AP scores.
  • [0:16:35] How to get off of a waitlist and whether or not it’s worth it to send a letter of continued interest.
  • [0:20:03] How to choose a recommender and ask for their letter.
  • [0:24:23] The appropriate number of letters of recommendation to include in your application.
  • [0:28:52] Considering whether or not it is worthwhile to include a portfolio of work unrelated to the field of study.  

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Mastering Letters of Recommendation: How to Stand Out in College Applications11 Dec 202400:24:46

Letters of recommendation are so important in college applications, especially in the more selective colleges, and today, we are delving into why they need to be prioritized, the mistakes we see kids make, who to ask for letters, and more. Tuning in, you’ll hear all about the role of letters of recommendation in college applications, the dangers of focusing on the number of letters you have over the quality of them, how it can become the determining factor for whether or not you get into a college, and so much more! We delve into the intricacies of the questionnaire the recommender will have to ask you before discussing the kinds of people teenagers should ask for letters of recommendation from. We even talk about why building relationships with teachers is imperative in building communication skills and how that will help future letters of recommendation and even make learning more fun. Finally, we pinpoint which kids get the best letters of recommendation and explain why they’re always the hardest workers. Thanks for listening! 

Key Points From This Episode:

  • [0:02:30] Today’s topic of discussion: letters of recommendation. 
  • [0:03:23] The role of letters of recommendation in college applications. 
  • [0:03:58] Why letters of recommendation are so important in applications. 
  • [0:09:48] Where things go off the rails when it comes to these letters. 
  • [0:13:53] All about the questionnaires that you have to fill out with the letter. 
  • [0:15:32] The logistics surrounding asking for letters of recommendation.
  • [0:17:25] The importance of developing relationships with your teachers. 
  • [0:22:15] Why the kids who work hard get the best letters. 

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Is My Teen Addicted to Video Games?01 May 202400:29:58

Are your kids spending more time glued to screens than engaging with the world around them? Do you find yourself wondering if your child's love for video games is crossing the line into addiction? In this episode, hosts Meredith and Cathy delve into the pressing question: Is my teen addicted to video games? They explore the reasons behind the allure of video games and screens, challenge the notion of demonizing all video games, and discuss how certain games can offer benefits in various aspects of life. They highlight how parents can tell when it becomes problematic and share insights into navigating conversations around potentially addictive gaming or screentime behavior. In the end, it all boils down to finding the right balance for your kids and your family, inviting your kids into inquisitive and caring conversations, and reminding them that gaming and screentime are (and should be) considered a privilege and therefore something that can essentially, be taken away. 

Key Points From This Episode:

  • [0:01:50] Is your child staring at a screen all day long?
  • [0:02:40] We dive into why kids love spending time playing video games or on a screen.
  • [0:04:20] Why we wouldn’t want to “demonize” all video games.
  • [0:07:20] Positive things that can come from gaming.
  • [0:08:45] The importance of building rapport with your child (about the game they’re playing).
  • [0:10:00] How you can tell if something is problematic.
  • [0:11:25] Strategies for navigating problematic (or addictive) gaming/ use of a device.
  • [0:14:00] Why it’s all about finding a balance.
  • [0:14:35] Approaching the conversation with inquiry and care (and not shaming).
  • [0:16:00] Setting boundaries, even if it isn’t a problem.
  • [0:17:00] Recommended boundaries for parents to implement.
  • [0:23:30] As you work toward balance, remember to set your kids up for success.
  • [0:25:00] Dropping the hammer: consequences that what work and those that perhaps don’t.
  • [0:27:45] The difference between a lecture and a conversation with your children.
  • [0:29:40] How to avoid pushing kids into becoming shady.

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

What Does a College Counselor Do?24 Apr 202400:36:53

College counseling can become a really tedious process that is often treated as a ‘one-size-fits-all’ blueprint model. At Village Coaches, we prefer to place emphasis on helping teenagers build important skills that they will use for life and figure out who they are while doing college counseling. In this episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, we are breaking down what college counselors do, why our model is different from the norm, how meeting with students every week assists the process, and when the best time is to start college coaching. At Village, we don’t offer a generic model for every single student and instead, we help our kids thrive and learn about themselves while building skills they will use in college and beyond. For us, it’s about the long game and college counseling is just one of the many times your kids will encounter uncertainty and challenges. We even discuss why our students come to discuss college issues with us once they have already transitioned from high school. Lastly, we remind you that teenagers are smarter than we think and know themselves more than we give them credit for. You don’t want to miss this one so tune in now!

 

Key Points From This Episode:

 

  • [0:01:41] Why we want to discuss what college counseling looks like. 
  • [0:02:51] How we define college counseling and the role of a college counselor.
  • [0:08:24] The Village college counselor model and why that feels different from others.
  • [0:13:21] Why we love meeting with students every week. 
  • [0:18:02] How our students manage transitioning into college and why they talk to us about it.
  • [0:21:32] What Village Coaches offers that other college counselors don’t.
  • [0:25:11] The best time to start college counseling.
  • [0:30:28] The beauty of getting to do college coaching the way that we want to.
  • [0:32:26] Why we approach kids with curiosity and trust that they know themselves. 

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Village Coaches

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Do Colleges Care a Lot About Extracurriculars?17 Apr 202400:37:33

Parents and teens often put way too much emphasis on extracurriculars for college applications when the truth is, they’re not as important as they’re made out to be! Today we dive into a discussion on whether or not colleges care about extracurriculars. Tuning in, you’ll hear all about the importance of choosing activities based on passion and interest and not for the sake of applications, why unique activities are overrated, why the reason for selecting extracurriculars is more important than what is selected, and the negative effects of selecting curated summer programs for teenagers. We delve into why a college resume is not as important as you may think it is and why your actual transcript is far more important before we discuss anchoring decisions about activities based on values. Finally, we break down some examples of purpose and value-based extracurricular activities teenagers have come up with to inspire you. To hear all of this invaluable advice and wisdom, press play now!

Key Points From This Episode:

  • [0:04:28] Why extracurriculars are not as important for college applications as people think. 
  • [0:06:05] The danger of doing activities for the sake of college applications and not based on passion.
  • [0:11:42] Why you need to abandon the concept of trying to find unique extracurriculars to do for your college application.
  • [0:12:34] Extracurricular activities being more about the ‘why’ than the ‘what’. 
  • [0:18:38] The danger of pre-packaged curated extracurricular programs.
  • [0:23:35] The college resume: not as high-stakes as parents and teens make it out to be. 
  • [0:28:20] Why you should anchor decisions surrounding extracurriculars in your values.
  • [0:30:08] Examples of value and purpose-based extracurriculars teenagers have come up.

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

The College Essay Guy Presentation 

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

What Does Getting "Evaluated" Mean? — With Mark Westerfield10 Apr 202400:38:19

We are very excited to welcome another guest to the Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You podcast! Joining Cathy and Meredith today is Mark Westerfield, a clinical psychologist who focuses on cognitive, social-emotional, and academic evaluations for children, adolescents, and young adults. He’s here to delve into a conversation about an important topic, psycho-educational assessments; what they are, when they are indicated, and what to do with the results from the assessments. Mark unpacks several aspects of the assessment process, the reasons families would seek these services, and the importance of including children in the process, and shares his expertise on how to work with schools to deliver individualized accommodations and recommendations. He also shares advice on how to deal with parents and students who push back or don’t make use of their accommodations. To hear about all this, and much more, make sure not to miss out on this episode! Thanks for listening. 

Key Points From This Episode:

  • [0:01:20] What to expect from today’s episode.
  • [0:01:48] More about our guest today, Mark Westerfield.
  • [0:03:15] Mark unpacks the process of a psycho-educational assessment.
  • [0:04:30] Reasons a family would seek out these types of services.
  • [0:07:20] What Mark would advise families to watch for regarding learning disabilities.
  • [0:11:00] He delves further into the process behind the tests.
  • [0:13:15] How long the process usually takes.
  • [0:14:45] The importance of including the child in the process.
  • [0:16:40] Mark details what a neuro-psych report includes/looks like.
  • [0:18:45] Working with schools on delivering individualized accommodations or recommendations.
  • [0:21:50] Advice to parents/ students who aren’t making use of their accommodations.
  • [0:23:24] Dealing with parents who are giving push-back on using accommodations.
  • [0:26:50] Middle-schoolers and their need to fit in socially.
  • [0:28:25] Ideal ages for the different assessments.
  • [0:30:40] Dealing with the different reasons parents push back from getting their children assessed.
  • [0:36:00] A reminder that all our brains, simply, aren’t the same!

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Mark Westerfield on LinkedIn

Westerfield Psychological Assessment

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

More About Motivation and What It Is and Isn't03 Apr 202400:35:58

How many of you actually felt like doing your homework as a kid? During this episode, we’re talking more about motivation; a topic that keeps resurfacing in our conversations with kids. What if discipline was more valuable than motivation? Join us as we explore how to respond to kids who cite a lack of motivation as their reason for achieving below their capabilities. Delving into our childhood experiences, we consider our respective approach to working as Deans and unpack what it might look like to encourage your kids as they develop the muscle of discipline by doing hard things. We also take a look at what may lie below what kids experience as a lack of motivation and discuss an alternative way of understanding what might cause them to feel that way. Listen in to hear all this and more! 

Key Points From This Episode:

  • [0:00:50] The topic we are revisiting during this episode: motivation.
  • [0:01:19] Feedback Cathy has received from her students on motivation. 
  • [0:04:01] Weighing in on how we all felt about our homework as children. 
  • [0:06:52] What kids are really looking for in the moment: motivation to do their homework.
  • [0:09:46] How Meredith and Cathy would define their style of work as Deans.
  • [0:13:10] Teaching kids to develop the muscle of discipline.
  • [0:18:51] Why it is beneficial to push your kids to do hard things.
  • [0:22:31] Managing your own discomfort at seeing your kids suffer.
  • [0:28:40] How technology robs students of sitting with their own discomfort. 
  • [0:30:49] What kids can conflate motivation with: fear.
  • [0:35:00] Why discipline is ultimately more valuable than motivation. 

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

The Value Sort App

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Wait. How Many APs Does My Kid Need to Take??27 Mar 202400:25:45

We have a timely, but great, episode topic for listeners today! Course sign-ups. Everyone is gathering information, course catalogs are out, kids are having meetings with their counselors, and all this brought up a very interesting point of discussion. How to talk about rigor, as it pertains to the college admissions process. Join the conversation as Cathy and Meredith dive deep into how they approach the conversation about rigor, why colleges care about it, and their thoughts on the reality of taking “the most rigorous curriculum” at school. They answer a commonly asked question, share guidance on how to support a child who wishes to pursue a more rigorous curriculum, and explain why playing the game ultimately comes down to a choice.  Through this conversation, Cathy and Meredith aim to clarify how broad rigor can look for students all over the country, to help parents realize that there is indeed a range of rigor, and that the rigor conversation can be hard for both parents and students to swallow. Cathy and Meredith (like all parents for their kids) truly want kids to have all the options, but unfortunately, that’s not the world and how it works these days. Stick around to hear their insightful thoughts on this topic on another episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You!

Key Points From This Episode:

  • [0:01:40] Our timely topic for today’s podcast.
  • [0:02:20] Why it’s a tricky situation to talk about rigor.
  • [0:03:50] Cathy explains how she approaches the conversation about rigor.
  • [0:04:30] How rigor is measured.
  • [0:04:40] Why colleges (particularly highly selective ones) care about rigor.
  • [0:09:00] Thoughts on the reality of taking on the most rigorous curriculum in the high school.
  • [0:10:10] Why it’s important to realize that rigor exists on a spectrum.
  • [0:10:30] Is it better to get a B or C in honors classes or get an A in regular classes?
  • [0:14:30] The importance of knowing your kids and having (tough) honest conversations.
  • [0:15:45] A minute to defend our colleagues still working in schools.
  • [0:18:10] Guidance on how to support your child pursuing a more rigorous curriculum.
  • [0:23:20] Prompting a more fundamental question to parents.
  • [0:24:00] The choice to play this game.
  • [0:25:30] Other great options (that don’t require you to play this game).

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

What Is An Admissions Hook?20 Mar 202400:28:06

Get ready for a juicy and salacious topic in this week’s episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You! Join Cathy and Meredith as they dive into the concept of 'hooks' in the college admission process. They explore what hooks are and discuss the various types, including the nuanced world of athletic recruitment, the use of arts, what advancement is (and is not), and the reality of letters from trustees. Cathy shares a concrete example demonstrating the effectiveness of a true hook, and they leave the audience with a necessary truth about highly selective admission in the United States! Don’t miss out on this real and insightful episode. Thanks for tuning in! 

Key Points From This Episode:

  • [0:01:00] The salacious topic of today’s episode!
  • [0:01:44] Thinking you can take advantage of a “hook” in the admissions process.
  • [0:02:00] How Cathy would define “the hook” in admissions.
  • [0:03:35] We take a look at different types of hooks.
  • [0:05:10] Our hot-take on the different divisions of athletic recruitment.
  • [0:10:30] Using arts as a hook (like dance or music performance).
  • [0:15:45] The thing people get most uncomfortable about: advancement (or money).
  • [0:18:00] Why advancement (as a hook) is more than writing a check.
  • [0:20:00] Kids with letters from trustees (or really fancy people).
  • [0:23:14] Can hooks work? We end off with a concrete example.
  • [0:25:45] The courts will most likely be coming for legacy and advancement etc.
  • [0:26:00] The truth: highly selective admission in the USA is not a meritocracy.

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Interview with Psychotherapist, Rebecca Li: A Parent’s Guide to Teen Therapy13 Mar 202400:38:50

Are you curious about seeking mental health support for your teen but worried about the stigma? Here’s what you need to know! Therapy or counseling can support adolescents through a variety of life events, important self-discovery moments, school-related stress, and mental health issues like anxiety and depression. It can also be used to prevent minor (and totally normal) issues from turning into problems later on. To help us dispel some of the common misconceptions about therapy and gain some insight into its measurable benefits, we are joined by Rebecca Li, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. In this episode, you’ll learn more about Rebecca’s methodology, hear her advice for skeptical parents, and discover valuable resources that you can lean on to help you make an informed decision about whether or not therapy is the right choice for your family. Tune in for all this and much more!

Key Points From This Episode:

  • [0:00:50] Introducing today’s guest, psychotherapist and former lawyer, Rebecca Li.
  • [0:02:43] Insight into Hakomi; a powerful experiential psychotherapy methodology.
  • [0:05:37] Dispelling the stigma around mental health, particularly for immigrant families.
  • [0:07:27] Advice for parents whose children have been referred to therapy.
  • [0:11:27] Some of the measurable positive impacts of therapy.
  • [0:14:00] Distinguishing between normal adolescent behavior and abhorrent behavior.
  • [0:15:30] Tips for parents to manage their own anxiety and expectations for their kids.
  • [0:24:56] How Hakomi therapy supports and promotes change through internal awareness.
  • [0:28:08] Why it’s important to Rebecca that her clients feel celebrated, not just validated.
  • [0:29:40] The value of removing judgment, taking a deep breath, and “zooming out.”
  • [0:33:56] Simple words of wisdom for anxious parents: slow down a notch!
  • [0:37:00] Reasons to celebrate more and problem-solve less.

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Rebecca Li

Rebecca Li on LinkedIn

Rebecca Li on Instagram

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

It’s Meredith’s Turn! Insights From Our Resident Teen Whisperer06 Mar 202400:27:30

Today on Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, we are chatting to one of our hosts, Meredith Herrera about her life and career so our listeners can better get to know her. Tuning in, you’ll hear all about what drew Meredith to education, almost working for the Secret Service, the school administrative roles she’s had throughout her career, and more! We delve into why Meredith doesn’t actually find teenagers exhausting and what she loves about working with them before discussing what teens need from the adults around them. Finally, Meredith tells us what she would be doing if she weren’t an educator. To hear all this and so much more, press play now!

Key Points From This Episode:

  • [0:03:20] A bit about Meredith’s background and what drew her to education. 
  • [0:06:33] Her job offer for the Secret Service and what the training was like. 
  • [0:09:38] The different kinds of roles Meredith has had in schools throughout her career.
  • [0:13:42] What Meredith likes about working with teenagers.
  • [0:18:34] Meredith outlines what teenagers need from the adults around them.
  • [0:25:52] What Meredith would do if she weren’t an educator. 

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Meredith Herrera 

Meredith Herrera on LinkedIn

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

How Do I Make My Kid More Resilient?28 Feb 202400:56:08

Kids today, with their readily available smartphones, so easily avoid uncomfortable situations. But if we, as parents, constantly try to “fix” life for them, are we setting them up for a successful life as adults? Today we broach an idea in adolescent development, terminology you might have heard before; Orchid Children or Dandelion Children. These terms are often used to describe the temperaments of certain kids (even though not everyone is squarely an Orchid or a Dandelion). Join the conversation as Meredith and Cathy dive into what is meant by Orchid and Dandelion kids and we share tons of real-life examples of how low-distress tolerance children react to uncomfortable situations. They delve into the parental instinct to “fix” our child’s discomfort, the moral of today’s episode, and how the realness of this topic can have dire consequences in later adolescence and adulthood. Don’t miss out on all the insightful nuggets and practical tips for navigating children with low distress tolerance, on this episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You. Thanks for tuning in!

Key Points From This Episode:

  • [0:01:30] What we want to talk about in this week’s episode.
  • [0:02:04] Cathy explains what is meant by Orchid and Dandelion kids.
  • [0:05:30] We dive into why Orchid kids can be harder to parent than Dandelion kids.
  • [0:06:15] Sensitivity versus fragility.
  • [0:07:00] What we see (most) in the kids we work with.
  • [0:10:30] Examples of how low-distress tolerance children react to uncomfortable situations.
  • [0:17:30] We chat about Cathy’s lack of shyness (both now and growing up).
  • [0:19:20] Our instincts as parents to “fix” our child’s discomfort.
  • [0:19:44] A quick disclaimer of what we are not talking about.
  • [0:20:15] Cathy shares a real-life example of a response from parents.
  • [0:23:14] The moral of today’s episode: kids need to do hard things.
  • [0:24:40] Our thoughts on today’s kids getting their driver’s licenses.
  • [0:25:52] The Chicken with Bones in It story.
  • [0:29:00] When “this stuff” gets real: building emotional stress tolerance.
  • [0:29:55] What Cathy tells the kids she sees who are struggling with this.
  • [0:31:55] How we encourage kids that they have what it takes to do what is needed.
  • [0:33:00] Practical tips for navigating children with low-distress tolerance.
  • [0:35:10] Meredith walks listeners through the T-I-P strategy.
  • [0:40:00] What we recommend not to do.
  • [0:44:44] Phrases you can stick on their wall.
  • [0:47:30] Normalizing being bad at something new.
  • [0:49:40] The importance of parents working out their own issues.
  • [0:54:14] Being demonstrative about your child’s accomplishment of a hard thing.
  • [0:56:00] #Growth.

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Purpose-Driven Parenting: Helping Your Teen Find Their Path & Boost Their Well-Being27 Nov 202400:39:26

Having a sense of purpose has been scientifically proven to increase your overall quality of life! So many college application essays are based on identity and most kids who find writing those essays easier have a sense of purpose already! Today on Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, we are discussing the importance of developing a sense of purpose in teenagers. In this discussion, you’ll hear what purpose actually is, why having purpose is imperative, how you can help kids find their own, and how your own identity as a parent can affect your child’s sense of self. We talk about how your purpose will contribute to your overall wellness before delving into how you can find your purpose by identifying your values and getting out of your comfort zone. We even tell you why creating boundaries can inspire your kids into action! Finally, we encourage you to try a values exercise with your children. Thanks for listening!

Key Points From This Episode:

  • [0:00:59] Today’s topic: helping seniors prepare essays about their identities. 
  • [0:03:11] We define what purpose actually is and why it’s so important to have. 
  • [0:06:30] How to help kids figure out what their purpose could be. 
  • [0:10:07] Understanding how having a sense of purpose increases your overall quality of life. 
  • [0:14:30] How your sense of purpose as a parent will affect your child’s own identity. 
  • [0:20:06] Why purpose contributes to overall wellness and happiness. 
  • [0:24:30] Getting out of your comfort zone and identifying your values to find your purpose. 
  • [0:27:41] How to help your kids past procrastination, anxiety, and fear of essay writing. 
  • [0:31:01] Purpose changing through life and something we’ve done that ties to our purpose. 

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Every Move You Make, I’ll Be Watching You: Why Modeling is Your Parenting Secret Weapon

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

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Am I Too Easy on My Kid?21 Feb 202400:39:03

Finding the balance between holding your children accountable and having boundaries while keeping the peace and happiness in the home is a delicate task. In today’s episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, we are unpacking one of the most difficult issues parents face and helping you figure out if you’re too easy on your kid. Tuning in, you’ll hear all about our approaches with teens, why they often see us as harder on them than their parents are, why you have to hold your children accountable, and much more! We delve into defining your family standards, how to include children in that process, and why peace isn’t always possible before we discuss the dangers of talking too much. Your child’s future and ability to be a well-rounded, successful human is more important than being liked by your teenager and today, we remind you that you aren’t always going to be liked by your teenager and why that’s okay! Finally, we touch on sustaining yourselves as parents instead of relying on gratification from your children. This is an incredibly important episode so be sure to press play now!

Key Points From This Episode:

  • [0:01:08] One of the biggest issues parents face: how to know if they are finding the best balance between peace and boundaries with their children. 
  • [0:05:43] How we approach the work we do with teenagers and why we are harder on them than their parents are. 
  • [0:12:21] Why asking students how they feel about their academic choices is so beneficial. 
  • [0:14:12] The importance of holding your teens accountable as parents. 
  • [0:17:09] Defining your standards as a family, including older children, and accepting that peace is not always possible. 
  • [0:20:43] The dangers of talking too much and lecturing adolescents and why trust and respect are imperative. 
  • [0:27:03] How communities of parents can be supportive and why you cannot rely on gratification from your teenagers to sustain yourself. 
  • [0:29:31] Why you do not need to be liked by your teenager and do not always have to like them. 

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

What is Teen Life Coaching?14 Feb 202400:53:29

Teen coaching is about helping teenagers with academics, college, self-esteem, self-awareness, and so much more! It’s basically all about coaching them in life! Today we are peeling back the layers of what we do every day and explaining all things teenage life coaching to you. Listening in, you’ll hear what teen life coaching actually is, why we got into it and why Cathy started Village Coaches, how we approach our work, the importance of trust, rapport, and respect, and much more! We then discuss the most common topics we discuss in coaching sessions before we talk about why coaching isn’t right for every kid and what we do not do in sessions. We even delve into some examples of how we build relationships with our clients. Finally, we share how vulnerable we get with teens in our coaching sessions and how that builds rapport. To hear all this and so much more, press play now!

Key Points From This Episode:

  • [0:01:10] What teen life coaching actually is. 
  • [0:03:05] Why we started coaching teenagers. 
  • [0:09:12] How we approach our work and the importance of building a relationship with the teenagers we coach. 
  • [0:17:36] The most common teen life coaching topics we delve into and how we know what to focus on. 
  • [0:32:38] Why coaching is not right for every kid, who is and isn’t a good fit, and what we avoid doing in sessions. 
  • [0:47:55] How vulnerable we get with our kids in sessions.

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Village Coaches

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

How To Have a Productive Conversation About Grades07 Feb 202400:35:57

Typically, teenagers aren’t always super open, available, or excited to tell you about their report cards. That’s why, in today’s episode, we’re spilling the beans about how you can have a productive, constructive, and empathetic conversation about grades with your teen and help them go from grade-obsessed panic to independently accepting responsibility for their academic performance. Tune in as we discuss the importance of checking in regularly, asking open-ended questions, being curious about your kid’s academic life, getting additional context from their teachers, focusing on performance rather than achievement, and much more!

Key Points From This Episode:

  • [0:01:41] Counterproductive ways our parents talked to us about our report cards.
  • [0:03:05] How we coach kids (and parents) to discuss their academic performance.
  • [0:04:44] Why you shouldn’t make the conversation all about the letter/number grade.
  • [0:07:00] Open-ended, reflective ways to talk about grades before grades come out.
  • [0:09:51] The role that schools and teachers play in cultivating a fixation on grades.
  • [0:12:58] Reasons to talk about learning and performance rather than achievement.
  • [0:15:39] Making a habit of checking in regularly versus only discussing poor grades.
  • [0:18:22] Strategies to help your teens succeed, regardless of external circumstances.
  • [0:25:13] How to know if a tutor would be a helpful tool for your teen.
  • [0:26:37] When it’s appropriate to contact the school or a teacher about a specific grade.
  • [0:31:25] Our opinion on why tutors should be temporary.
  • [0:34:42] Key themes and takeaways from this conversation.

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

How to Pick a College Major Wisely24 Jan 202400:30:36

Embarking on the journey of higher education often begins with a pivotal decision: choosing a college major. Choosing a college major wisely is crucial because it sets the foundation for your academic journey and, to an extent, your professional path. Making a thoughtful choice can align your studies with your interests, skills, and career aspirations, increasing the likelihood of satisfaction and success in your future endeavors. It can also be a stressful time for parents who often worry about their child's future, but fear not, we are here to help! In this episode, we delve into selecting a major that aligns with your passions, skills, and future aspirations. We discuss how to uncover your passion, what majors should be avoided, and common mistakes students when picking majors. Discover why it's okay not to have a clear-cut career path before stepping into college and the benefits of cultivating broad interests beforehand. We also unpack the pitfalls of prioritizing monetary gain over passion, the risks of choosing high-demand majors for the wrong reasons, effective approaches for students to explore the diversity of available majors, changing majors during college, and much more! Join us as we navigate the complexities of selecting a college major and how to empower students and parents in this crucial decision-making process. Tune in now!

Key Points From This Episode:

  • [0:00:00] Introduction and outline of today’s topic: how to pick a college major wisely.
  • [0:02:18] Why your child does not need to have a clear career direction before college.
  • [0:03:55] Cultivating your child's broad interests ahead of applying for college.
  • [0:07:15] Leveraging what your child does not like to uncover their interests.
  • [0:10:15] Working with students who are certain about their interests and career path.
  • [0:11:50] High-demand majors that get picked for the wrong reasons.
  • [0:13:52] Approaches for helping students to learn about the different majors available.
  • [0:17:34] The pitfalls of choosing majors solely for monetary gain.
  • [0:18:42] Changing majors during college and why it is normal.
  • [0:20:28] Advice for students and parents worried about future career opportunities.
  • [0:24:15] Discover the majors that are sequential in coursework structure.
  • [0:25:13] Common mistakes students make when choosing their majors.
  • [0:30:14] Closing comments and final takeaways.

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

How Do I Prepare My Kid for College Admissions?17 Jan 202400:42:29

The college admissions process can be intimidating for even the brightest of students. And, as a parent, you might be wondering how you can help your child prepare for this important chapter. That’s where we come in! We use today’s conversation to get into three key qualities that will help teens take on the college admissions process with confidence, ease, and even excitement! Tuning in you’ll learn why these characteristics are so helpful within the admissions process, how you can foster these qualities within your children, and why it’s never too early (or too late) to start. Discover the immense value of self-awareness, how a healthy reading habit can encourage critical thinking, methods for inspiring intellectual curiosity in your kids, and much more! Don't miss out — equip your child for a brighter academic future today!

Key Points From This Episode:

  • [0:01:21] An overview of today’s topic: how to prepare your kids for college admissions.
  • [0:02:59] The value of fostering self-awareness in your kids from a young age.
  • [0:04:52] Ways that schooling can undermine self-knowledge and reflection.
  • [0:07:24] How to help cultivate self-awareness in your kids early on.
  • [0:09:50] Modeling self-awareness as a parent and how to get better at it.
  • [0:14:15] Why fostering a love of reading from a young age is so beneficial.
  • [0:19:22] Thoughts on audiobooks, graphic novels, and other avenues into reading.
  • [0:23:08] Other forms of media, like podcasts, that introduce youngsters to good writing.
  • [0:27:13] Advice on how to foster intellectual curiosity in children.
  • [0:31:18] Unpacking how the rigidity of schooling can fail to encourage intellectual curiosity.
  • [0:33:05] What parents and teachers can do to cultivate intellectual curiosity in children.
  • [0:36:22] The benefits of deciding to ‘not travel like a tourist’ with your kids.
  • [0:40:28] Why you should encourage these qualities for more than just the college admissions process.

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

SYTWTY Podcast Episode: Is Private School or Public School Better?

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Interview with Village Founder, Cathy Chen: From College Drop-Out to Harvard Grad10 Jan 202400:37:41

Welcome to another episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You! Today we are doing an exclusive interview with our very own Cathy Chen to get to know her a little bit better. Tuning in, you’ll hear all about her early life as an immigrant, why she wasn’t a ‘good girl’, her college experience, and how her childhood influenced her career choices. We delve into her journey at Menlo before discussing Village Coaches and how it’s changed her life. Cathy tells us the best and worst parts of her job and finally, tells us about her private life and why she thinks she would be a Broadway star in an alternate universe. This episode is fun-filled and entertaining as we get personal with our very own host, so be sure to press play now!

Key Points From This Episode:

  • [0:02:09] Cathy tells us about her upbringing as an immigrant. 
  • [0:03:58] Being a ‘naughty’ child, her not-so-great grades, and getting into college. 
  • [0:07:53] How Cathy’s formative years influenced her career decisions.
  • [0:16:14] The different roles Cathy had at Menlo School and her journey there. 
  • [0:20:33] What led to the creation of Village Coaches and how she formed it.
  • [0:26:15] Cathy tells us what she enjoys most and least about her work with teenagers.
  • [0:31:57] Her life outside of work and why she’d be on Broadway if she weren’t doing this.

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Village Coaches

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Interview with Jon Burdick, Vice Provost for Enrollment at Cornell University13 Dec 202300:36:23

Have you ever wondered how to make your character stand out to impress those highly selective institutions? The answer may surprise you - it's all about being effortlessly yourself. Joining us on the show today is Jon Burdick, a good friend and former colleague with an impressive track record, including positions as Vice Provost and Dean of Admissions and Financial Aid at the University of Rochester and, more recently, as Vice Provost for Enrollment at Cornell University. Tune in to hear Jon's insights on admissions trends, understanding 'highly rejective' schools, and his advice for those considering highly selective institutions like Cornell. He stresses the point of understanding your why and provides valuable insights on school rankings. We then dive into a discussion on character and its role in the admissions process, and he highlights why it's crucial to show integrity (and how easy it is to spot disingenuous line items on applications!) He continues to share his thoughts on AI tools and other tools he’d like to see schools leverage. Be sure not to miss out on this insightful conversation with an admissions professional, so start listening now!

Key Points From This Episode:

  • [0:01:00] A special welcome and introduction to our guest, Jon Burdick!
  • [0:03:45] He shares some of the biggest trends and changes happening in admissions.
  • [0:06:45] Highly rejective schools: what it means and the process it entails.
  • [0:08:05] Jon’s general advice to those pursuing highly selective schools (like Cornell).
  • [0:09:50] Why it’s worth asking yourself why you want to go to a particular school.
  • [0:11:00] What Jon would like families to understand about school rankings.
  • [0:13:10] Advice to parents and students on how to approach rankings when applying.
  • [0:15:25] His thoughts on character and its role in the admissions process.
  • [0:17:00] How to demonstrate character in a way that matters to highly selective schools.
  • [0:19:00] Why integrity is crucial and why it’s easy to spot a disingenuous line item.
  • [0:20:00] AI tools: their use (or misuse) and potential impact on the admissions process.
  • [0:24:00] His thoughts on students using AI for writing purposes.
  • [0:26:10] Other tools Jon would like to see schools leverage (like interviews and tests).
  • [0:31:00] Why he believes life is not a straight sprint.
  • [0:33:00] Stripping it back to the things we know, for sure, about humans.
  • [0:34:25] Why good teaching actually matters and finding ways to support teachers.

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Jonathan Burdick on LinkedIn

Jonathan Burdick on X

Ask Dean B

The Character Initiative

Mastery Transcript Consortium

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Is Greek Life Right For My Child?06 Dec 202300:33:39

Have you ever wondered what happens behind fraternities and sororities’ closed doors on college campuses? Is your child interested in participating in Greek life but you are not sure if it is the right fit for them? In this episode, we delve into the heart of fraternity and sorority life, exploring what it means to be part of a Greek organization, the pros and cons of joining, and the unique experiences it offers. From the camaraderie and networking opportunities to the controversies and misconceptions, we lay it all out for you, helping you decide whether Greek life is right for your child. Gain insights into the aspects your child needs to be aware of before joining, the mysterious rush process, the responsibilities that come with pledging, and much more. Whether you're a curious student, a concerned parent, or simply an intrigued listener, we offer valuable advice to help you make the right decision for your child. To uncover the secrets of this fundamental aspect of the college experience, tune in now!

Key Points From This Episode:

  • [0:00:45] Episode outline: should your kid join a sorority or fraternity?
  • [0:02:15] Cathy talks about her college sorority experience.
  • [0:04:00] Meredith shares why she chose not to join a sorority. 
  • [0:07:42] How Greek Life can vary from college to college.
  • [0:11:02] Learn about the benefits and value of participating in Greek Life.
  • [0:15:00] Hear about the downsides of participating in a sorority or fraternity.
  • [0:19:15] Insights into “rush”, its purpose, and what it entails.
  • [0:25:08] What parents need to accept about Greek Life: substances and partying.
  • [0:27:35] Essential advice and recommendations for parents.
  • [0:31:05] The ins and outs of the pledging process.

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Interview With Former Student, Maya Donato On Her Unconventional Path To Success29 Nov 202300:40:55

Sometimes it is very difficult for parents to understand the experiences and emotions of their teenagers and it’s almost as if they have forgotten what it’s like to be a teen. Today’s guest is quite close to her teenage experience and has created an incredible mentorship program to help teenage girls through their own adolescent years. She also happens to be a past student of Cathy’s! Maya Donato joins us to discuss her unconventional college experience, feelings of not fitting in socially and how to combat them, and the importance of practicing self-love. We talk about the benefits of giving teens a degree of experience before discussing how to cultivate gratitude and positive thinking into teenagers’ lives. Finally, Maya shares some invaluable advice about cutting out negative self-talk and developing a good relationship with yourself in order to be happy. You don’t want to miss out on this truly inspirational conversation so tune in now! 

Key Points From This Episode:

  • [0:00:50] Introducing our guest, Cathy’s former student, Maya Donato. 
  • [0:02:24] The reason Maya started her mentorship program for teenage girls. 
  • [0:05:53] The importance of allowing teenagers to have a degree of independence. 
  • [0:10:50] Maya tells us about her high school and college application experience. 
  • [0:19:07] Why unconventional college experiences are just as valuable as the norm. 
  • [0:22:34] Maya shares some advice for students who don’t fit into their school socially. 
  • [0:26:37] How having adult friends and friends from other schools can help teens in school. 
  • [0:30:37] Maya’s struggles with self-love and the importance of practicing self-acceptance. 
  • [0:32:22] Some ways to cultivate gratitude and incorporate mindfulness into teenagers’ lives. 
  • [0:34:42] The importance of cutting off negative thoughts in order to practice self-love. 

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Maya Donato

Maya Donato Email Address

Maya Donato on Instagram

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

To transfer or not to transfer? That is the question.15 Nov 202300:35:16

Is your child contemplating the big leap of transferring colleges? And are you unsure of whether you should encourage them to persevere, or help them find an institution that’s a better fit? College transfers can be fraught with uncertainty. Whether it's from a community college to a more selective university, or a transfer between four-year institutions, it's a decision that can reshape a student's academic and personal trajectory. That’s why we’re using today’s episode to delve into the intricacies of transferring, like knowing when it makes sense to transfer (and when it doesn’t), how to navigate the process across different institutions, and what you can do to support your child if they’re unhappy at their school. We also discuss the many strengths of community college, the type of students who could be well-suited to that type of environment, and the robust support they provide to those wanting to transfer. Tune in as we help you navigate the transfer process, from pushing through challenges to recognizing when it's genuinely time to consider other options!

Key Points From This Episode:

  • [0:00:44] An overview of what we mean by transferring.
  • [0:02:14] Transferring from community college to four-year university.
  • [0:03:24] The type of students who might benefit from community college.
  • [0:05:00] Transferring from a four-year school to another four-year school.
  • [0:08:25] When it makes sense for a student to transfer.
  • [0:10:23] Knowing when it’s not a good idea to transfer a student.
  • [0:11:16] What to know about transferring to get into a more selective institution.
  • [0:14:11] The importance of having a compelling reason to transfer.
  • [0:17:37] Understanding why kids push against the idea of community college.
  • [0:20:04] Knowing when community college is not the right fit.
  • [0:21:53] How to approach coursework if you’re planning to transfer.
  • [0:25:10] One of Meredith’s favorite admission stories.
  • [0:28:01] A reminder of how monumental the transition from high school to college is.
  • [0:30:05] How to support your child if they’re unhappy at their school.
  • [0:31:39] Finding belonging in college as a minority student.
  • [0:32:47] When Honor’s programs can be a good fit.

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Navigating Teen Love: What Parents Need to Know About Dating, Boundaries, and Healthy Relationships20 Nov 202400:27:44

When adolescents start dating, it can be far more intense, serious, and potentially unhealthy than parents may be aware of. Today on Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, we are discussing all things teen love and relationships and sharing advice for parents who may not know how to handle it. In this conversation, we dig into why relationship talks with your teen might feel uncomfortable but are crucial to start before the need becomes urgent. We cover what to keep in mind when your child becomes interested in dating, then walk parents through 10 signs of both healthy and unhealthy relationships, discuss how modeling good relationships can impact your kids, go over common mistakes in teen dating, and explain how a strong sense of self can empower teens in their romantic relationships. We also discuss why boundaries are imperative, why you need to meet your child’s boyfriend/girlfriend and their family, and the danger of too much permissiveness. Finally, we touch on the extra layer of complexity LGBTQIA dating adds to teenage relationships. You don’t want to miss this one, so be sure to tune in now!

Key Points From This Episode:

  • [0:00:50] Today’s topic: love and dating in teens. 
  • [0:02:50] Why having relationship conversations with your teen can be uncomfortable. 
  • [0:03:40] What to consider as your children become interested in dating. 
  • [0:08:30] 10 Signs of a healthy (and unhealthy) relationship to teach your teenagers about. 
  • [0:09:46] The importance of modeling healthy relationships for your kids. 
  • [0:11:58] Some of the mistakes we see teenagers make when it comes to dating. 
  • [0:16:30] The kids that are the most successful and most problematic in relationships. 
  • [0:18:00] Meeting to meet your kid’s partner and be aware of each family’s rules. 
  • [0:22:31] Why the permissiveness around relationships is a slippery slope. 
  • [0:24:56] The layer of complexity that having an LGBTQ+ child adds to teen dating. 

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Think You Have a ‘Lazy’ Kid? Here’s What’s Really Happening08 Nov 202300:38:47

Ever found yourself putting things off for later, even when you know you shouldn't? Yup, that's procrastination. In today's episode, we break down why all of us, including teenagers, tend to postpone certain tasks, and what can be done to address this. Many people, parents included, often think of procrastination as nothing more than a delay tactic or that it’s simply the result of being lazy or forgetful. But procrastination is far more complex than that. It can be a coping mechanism to help you deal with difficult emotions or avoid the pressure of perfectionism. It can even signal something more serious, like depression or anxiety. But there is hope! Join us today as we lay out actionable strategies; from understanding the heart of procrastination to embracing mindfulness, time-blocking, and crafting procrastination-resistant environments. Remember, change isn't always a straight path, but with commitment and the right tools, you can guide your teen toward a more productive, delay-free life!

Key Points From This Episode:

  • [0:02:20] What procrastination is and why we do it.
  • [0:04:20] The most common things teens procrastinate about.
  • [0:06:06] Why procrastination can often be a warning sign of something else.
  • [0:07:11] Chronic procrastination and its side effects.
  • [0:07:49] How perfectionism can lead to procrastination.
  • [0:08:52] Thinking of procrastination as an addiction cycle.
  • [0:10:23] How you can help your kid become more resilient.
  • [0:12:26] Why you shouldn’t beat yourself up if your kid is a procrastinator.
  • [0:14:13] Effective strategies for helping teenagers with procrastination habits.
  • [0:16:58] How to help kids develop strategies to combat procrastination.
  • [0:21:40] Why positive reinforcement is much more effective than criticism.
  • [0:22:59] Collaborating on creating an environment that prevents procrastination.
  • [0:26:08] How to address the conflict caused by procrastination.
  • [0:27:27] Time blindness, and tips on how to time block.
  • [0:30:39] The value of asking questions and being curious.
  • [0:34:05] How bad responses from teachers can discourage kids from asking questions.
  • [0:36:02] Self-regulation and how to use habit stacking.
  • [0:37:45] Normalizing procrastination and a reminder that changing your habits takes time!

Time Blocking Apps:

Forest 

Freedom

FocusMe

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

College Admissions Insider Interview with Gary Clark, Associate Vice Chancellor of Enrollment Management at UCLA01 Nov 202300:39:04

Have you ever had a neighbor drop 'inside info' on UC admissions and you weren't quite sure if it held water? Well, today's episode is your ultimate UC admissions reality check – don't miss it! This week's guest is Gary Clark, the Associate Vice Chancellor of Enrollment Management at UCLA. With his extensive experience, Gary provides valuable insights into admissions and enrollment at UCLA, as well as the broader college application process. In this episode, Gary discusses hot topics like Affirmative Action, dispels common myths about UC admissions, touches on the selection process likened to a lottery system, and shares insights into UCLA's transfer process. If attending UCLA is your dream, you'll want to hear why transferring is a viable option. This episode offers a wealth of information on all things related to the UC admissions process, so don't miss out!

Key Points From This Episode:

  • [0:01:00] An introduction to our guest today: Gary Clark.
  • [0:02:25] We discuss a current hot topic in the admissions world: Affirmative Action.
  • [0:06:45] His “prediction” of what will happen with admissions this year.
  • [0:09:00] Busting myths about the UC admissions process.
  • [0:12:38] His advice to parents and students considering applying to UC.
  • [0:13:15] Our guest’s response to the selection process being compared to a lottery system.
  • [0:15:10] How the demand far exceeds the capacity at highly competitive institutions.
  • [0:16:00] Gary discusses UCLA's transfer process (especially through community college).
  • [0:18:30] Why community college can potentially be a better pathway for many students.
  • [0:19:45] Reasons why transferring to UCLA is a definite option!
  • [0:20:30] He talks about the importance of considering context when reviewing applications.
  • [0:22:45] Busted myth: admitting a certain number of students from certain high schools.
  • [0:23:00] The four targets they do have.
  • [0:24:23] Exploring the UC info center.
  • [0:24:55] He explains the UC approach to out-of-state and international student admissions.
  • [0:26:50] Examining the upward trend and increase in applications when UC went test-free.
  • [0:28:00] The reason behind why UC went test-free and the effect it had on applications.
  • [0:29:40] He explains what test-free really means.
  • [0:31:00] Details regarding the application for UC.
  • [0:32:00] A caution to students who turn their voices and applications to AI (or anyone outside of you).
  • [0:34:10] How having an almost college-ready kid has impacted his approach to the college process.
  • [0:36:30] His best advice to parents and kids getting ready for the college application process.

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Gary Clark on LinkedIn

Gary Clark

University of California Information Center

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

The Secret to Writing a Great Personal Statement25 Oct 202300:34:49

Navigating the intricacies of crafting the perfect personal statement as a high school senior involves the art of skillfully constructing a narrative that authentically reflects one's individuality, maturity, and readiness for the next educational level. Although it’s much easier said than done! Join us as we delve deeper into the world of personal statement essays! In this episode, Cathy and Meredith explore key strategies for unlocking the secrets to crafting an outstanding personal statement including the challenges it presents, its underlying purpose, setting strong goals, and the significance of understanding what defines you as a student. They discuss some of the most commonly made mistakes, offer pragmatic tips, and debunk the myth about reaching a grand conclusion. They also explore common mistakes well-intentioned parents often make and the no-nos of advice from “people who really don’t know what they are talking about!” For all this and more, start listening now!

Key Points From This Episode:

  • [0:00:53] The topic for this week’s episode: the personal statement.
  • [0:02:00] What makes the personal statement so challenging.
  • [0:02:30] We talk about the purpose of the essay.
  • [0:05:00] The time an admissions counselor spends reading the essay.
  • [0:06:20] Compelling information and red flag scans (and what not to include!)
  • [0:08:08] An impactful essay and why some kids can’t get there.
  • [0:09:03] One big takeaway we want listeners to walk away with.
  • [0:09:48] General, but strong, goals to set for your child when writing their essay.
  • [0:10:45] What Cathy tells students who pick ‘cliché’ topics.
  • [0:11:47] Traveling and service essays and what makes Meredith cringe.
  • [0:12:30] What makes you fundamentally you and why that’s a great place to start.
  • [0:13:35] What we are not saying.
  • [0:14:42] College admissions officers are looking for maturity and readiness.
  • [0:16:00] The admission process is highly subjective, don’t forget it!
  • [0:16:52] Pragmatic things a great essay needs to have.
  • [0:17:20] Side thoughts on a ‘grabby’ opening to the essay.
  • [0:17:50] What we mean by a ‘grabby’ opening.
  • [0:18:07] We talk about grammar, structure, and readability.
  • [0:19:40] The myth of reaching a grand conclusion.
  • [0:20:15] Knowing your audience; who is the admissions officer at the target school?
  • [0:21:10] We talk further about common mistakes students make.
  • [0:23:00] Taboo topics when it comes to the essay.
  • [0:27:03] Common mistakes well-intentioned parents make when it comes to the essay.
  • [0:29:45] A quick tangent on the non-meritocracy of highly selective private colleges.
  • [0:30:10] Advice from people who don’t know what they are doing.
  • [0:31:58] We discuss the importance of drafting and editing.
  • [0:34:00] When to ‘let it go’.
  • [0:34:35] If you have a question, please let us know!

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Johns Hopkins Essays That Worked

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

College Admissions Insider Interview with Tim Brunold, Dean of Admissions USC18 Oct 202300:42:34

It’s often said that getting into college is simply the luck of the draw, totally random, and unpredictable. But today’s guest firmly believes it’s anything but that. He sees it as both an art and a science, a meticulous process that demands care, thought, and effort. We’re back for a very special episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You! We’re thrilled to have an amazing admissions professional and an even more amazing friend, Tim Brunold! He is currently the Dean of Admission at USC and an enrollment specialist, here today to share his wisdom and insights into the world of college admissions from both perspectives – an admissions professional and parent of a college-ready kid. Join the conversation to hear more from Tim as he explains enrollment management and the science of it. He talks about numbers, volume, and the sense of the scale of applications, and why there’s no such thing as a universally acceptable college student! He highlights the goal of most colleges to create a well-rounded class versus well-rounded individuals, and elaborates on why families should have confidence in admissions offices. We deep dive into a discussion about character and the role it plays in the process, how they navigate the issue of character measuring, and the clues they look for. Be sure not to miss out on all this, and so much more! 

Key Points From This Episode:

  • [0:00:53] An exciting introduction to our very special guest: Tim Brunold.
  • [0:01:30] More about his career journey as an admissions professional.
  • [0:03:15] Why we are so excited to have Tim on the show today.
  • [0:05:00] How big the admissions office is at USC.
  • [0:06:00] He highlights how things have changed in the admissions sphere.
  • [0:07:10] Tim explains enrollment management and the science of it.
  • [0:09:30] He talks about numbers, volume, and the sense of the scale of applications.
  • [0:13:15] Considering sample sizes.
  • [0:14:10] Why there’s no such thing as a universally acceptable student.
  • [0:14:45] Getting in by merit, but what do you mean by merit?
  • [0:15:55] College goals of creating well-rounded classes versus individual students.
  • [0:17:00] Understanding where students are coming from; doing admissions work correctly.
  • [0:19:10] He elaborates on why families should have confidence in admissions officers.
  • [0:22:06] Selecting a student is both an art and a science, and to a degree, selective.
  • [0:24:25] We talk about the role of character in the admissions process.
  • [0:26:48] Navigating the issue of measuring student character, and the clues they look for.
  • [0:29:20] A recent positive trend Tim has seen in the admissions world.
  • [0:32:04] He highlights a trend that he is less excited about.
  • [0:35:11] A look at the marketing college-ready students/families receive.
  • [0:36:40] Colleges are both a place of higher learning and business.
  • [0:37:40] Tim shares a parent takeaway and advice (wearing his parent hat!)

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Tim Brunold on LinkedIn

Tim Brunold

University of California

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Roadmap to College11 Oct 202300:39:12

Our biggest advice for kids approaching college is simple: You’re going to be fine! This episode talks about the process of preparing for college. We’ve found that it’s predictable and routine and you can know it all in advance! Tune in today to hear our thoughts on the college preparation experience starting with Ninth Grade. We discuss the major shifts that often happen during Tenth Grade and what to bear in mind as a parent before exploring the test preparation process in Sophomore Year. It can be hard to determine what colleges care about and we aim to enlighten listeners on some of the process and how best to support your kids with decision-making along the way. Senior Year is the time to prioritize applications and this episode covers how to approach the lead-up to this pivotal year and how a counselor can support kids every step of the way. Rest assured, there are plenty of bases you can cover if you stay informed and get organized. Tune in today to hear some essential tips on how to do exactly that. 

Key Points From This Episode:

  • [0:01:00] The origins of today’s topic: concerns raised coach-match meetings.
  • [0:02:45] Where the process begins in Ninth Grade with selecting an appropriately challenging curriculum.
  • [0:10:43] What to prioritize in the summer of Ninth Grade. 
  • [0:12:45] Shifts that occur in Tenth Grade and what to bear in mind as a parent.
  • [0:16:16] Preparing for tests in Sophomore Year.
  • [0:22:59] Determining what colleges care about. 
  • [0:24:48] Offering kids the freedom of unconditional support.
  • [0:26:07] Why it is important to start Senior Year ready to go.
  • [0:27:08] The importance of honing in on academic interests as a senior. 
  • [0:28:56] Why research is such a critical part of the application process.
  • [0:32:25] Prioritizing applications in Senior Year. 
  • [0:36:30] The work that counselors do to support kids during the application process.
  • [0:38:59] A reminder to focus on the things you can control.

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Am I Making Too Many Decisions For My Teen?04 Oct 202300:35:31

Giving teenagers the power to make decisions about their own lives can be terrifying, but it is an essential part of growing up. In today’s episode, we are talking all about agency and how we can empower our children to learn how to make reflective, good choices. Tuning in, you’ll hear about why this is so important, how to guide our teens in decisions about their academic journeys, the dangers of forcing them into things, how to help them recover from a series of bad choices, when they shouldn’t be in charge, and so much more. We even delve into how our actions of love may actually be inhibiting our children’s growth before discussing the big impacts of agency in our kids’ lives. So to hear all this and be inspired to raise more thoughtful people, press play now!

Key Points From This Episode:

  • [0:00:50] Today’s topic: decision-making and agency. 
  • [0:01:55] Why we need to allow our teenagers to make some decisions themselves.
  • [0:03:22] The importance of letting teens have agency over their academic journeys and how we can guide them.
  • [0:09:26] The benefits of allowing the student to make certain decisions and the dangers of forcing them into things. 
  • [0:13:42] How to help your children reflect when they make the wrong decision over and over. 
  • [0:16:59] When teenagers shouldn’t be able to make decisions.
  • [0:19:44] Cathy tells us about two students: one who was forced into a decision and one who made the same decision by himself and the effects of each case.
  • [0:25:10] The importance of exposing your children to different things and family modeling. 
  • [0:28:54] Why you have to ask yourself if you need to answer certain questions or do certain things for your children or not. 
  • [0:31:20] The importance of teaching your children to be responsible for their own space. 
  • [0:32:45] The bigger, long-term impacts of teaching your children agency and decision-making skills. 

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

What the End of Affirmative Action Means for Everyone27 Sep 202300:34:53

As we see a lot of things shifting in the world of college admissions, one of the things expected this year was that the Supreme Court would strike down Affirmative Action. We felt this would be an important topic on the podcast and wanted to open up the conversation and share our thoughts and beliefs regarding the decision. Join us as we talk about the definition of Affirmative Action in this context and the current narrative regarding race and elite colleges. We also take a closer look at the recently published study, ‘Diversifying Society’s Leaders? The Determinants and Causal Effects of Admission to Highly Selective Private Colleges.’ With this episode, we want to inspire parents and students to think deeper when it comes to college admissions, emphasize the importance of reaching beyond just getting into college, and encourage them to focus more on diversification. Tune in now, for all this, and more. 

Key Points From This Episode:

  • [0:00:50] Why this is an important episode.
  • [0:02:00] What we are talking about today.
  • [0:02:30] The consequences of striking down Affirmative Action.
  • [0:03:49] Our belief regarding the decision rendered by the Supreme Court.
  • [0:04:08] The definition of Affirmative Action in this context.
  • [0:04:58] Racism is real in our country.
  • [0:07:22] We recount the current narrative out there (regarding race and elite colleges).
  • [0:08:00] We take a look at a study done on admissions to highly selective private colleges.
  • [0:09:59] The reason we are sharing this information on the podcast.
  • [0:12:35] A look at the legacy admissions factor.
  • [0:14:36] Comparing admission factors of elite public colleges and flagship public colleges.
  • [0:16:15] What will change this year.
  • [0:18:43] Thoughts on the future of the legacy factor.
  • [0:19:25] The non-academic “hooks” and their admission advantages and outcomes.
  • [0:22:30] Statistics regarding the outcomes of middle-class, non “hook” admissions.
  • [0:23:25] The takeaway we want our audience to leave with after today’s conversation.
  • [0:26:00] Thoughts on using athletics as a slipway into college.
  • [0:28:15] Why we want to inspire deeper thinking regarding college admissions.
  • [0:29:00] Cathy shares why she doesn’t believe in coaching a child purely based on strategy.
  • [0:31:30] Reaching beyond getting into college (with your kids).
  • [0:32:32] What is good for kids: diversity.

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

‘Diversifying Society’s Leaders? The Determinants and Causal Effects of Admission to Highly Selective Private Colleges’

The Village Blog

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Starting the School Year Strong20 Sep 202300:30:32

Welcome to Season 3 of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You! Today, we want to talk about starting the school year strong. What can you as parents do to help set your kids on a trajectory to success? We dive into some of the things we think are important for students to conquer, including setting schedules, getting organized, educating themselves on and making use of their school’s resources, and becoming skilled at advocating for themselves. We also discuss effective study strategies that can help students navigate the transition in learning and study habits from middle school to high school, as well as the value of learning from natural consequences, cultivating a sense of independence, and why we think it’s important to talk to your children about school policies. If you want to hear more about these topics and why it’s crucial for your children to be engaged in their school communities, don’t miss this information-packed episode!

Key Points From This Episode:

  • [0:01:22] The topic for today’s episode: Starting the School Year Strong.
  • [0:01:45] Things to consider to help your kids get a great start.
  • [0:01:55] Everything you need to know about schedules.
  • [0:03:10] Helping your kids get organized for the school year ahead.
  • [0:04:30] Setting expectations and exploring options for organizational systems.
  • [0:06:30] Learning about and making use of your school’s resources.
  • [0:07:52] The importance of teaching students to advocate for themselves.
  • [0:08:20] Why parents should guide their kids through some type of reflective exercise.
  • [0:09:30] Exploring study and learning habits (and why some just don’t work).
  • [0:11:45] Taking the start of the new year as a time to reflect.
  • [0:13:00] Cultivating independence and learning from natural consequences.
  • [0:15:20] The benefits of learning from natural consequences.
  • [0:15:44] Device policies and the inability to appropriately navigate screen time.
  • [0:18:00] Cracking down on devices and sleep!
  • [0:19:15] Participation in diverse ways; becoming comfortable with taking academic risks.
  • [0:21:20] Breaking through introversion.
  • [0:22:50] Talking to your child about engagement with their school community.
  • [0:25:22] The other side: being over-scheduled.
  • [0:28:20] Why it’s important to talk about school policies with your children.

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking

'How to Help Your Teen Succeed This School Year'

Google Calendar

The Village Blog

Village Blog

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Season 3 Trailer11 Sep 202300:04:20

Welcome back to Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, the season 3 teaser episode! This season is going to be amazing, as we continue to bring you educational, yet entertaining, content. If you’ve got topics you’d like to hear more about, get in contact with us so that we can bring you what you want to hear! Buckle down and get ready for another great season! 

Key Points From This Episode:

  • [0:00:00] Intro to Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You Season 3 Teaser.
  • [0:01:00] Season 3 and why it’s going to be dope!
  • [0:01:30] What to expect in season 3.
  • [0:01:50] Who we’ve scheduled for this season so far.
  • [0:03:09] Share our podcast so that we can keep growing our audience!
  • [0:03:46] A request for the audience to let us know what topics to address.
  • [0:04:11] We welcome feedback, so get in contact!

 

Quotes:

 

“Season three is going to be dope!” — Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You [0:01:02]

 

“This season we are super excited because we are bringing on some of our fancy pants admissions office friends.” — Cathy Chen [0:01:26]

 

“Let us know what you want to learn more about! If there’s some topic we haven’t covered in our three seasons that you are super curious about — odds are we can talk about or know someone who can talk about it!” — Meredith Herrera [0:03:46]

 

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Brene Brown

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

What’s the Purpose of Summer?24 May 202300:44:42

Welcome to the last episode of season two! Our topic for this week’s episode focuses on how to cultivate and promote your child’s wellness during the summer. And perhaps, while you are at it, how to cultivate your own wellness as a parent, too! We are excited to share some practical realities that can help drive decision-making for the summertime. We kick off with thoughts on the role of summer, the ideal ways to spend it, and a quick what not to do. We further dive into subtopics like the importance of balance, how family values play a role in choosing summertime activities, and why Cathy thinks getting your teenagers outside is imperative! We again touch on why getting kids out of their comfort zone and doing hard things is vital to their sense of self and their future and why a summer job is absolutely not lame. Tune in to hear why we think exposing your kids to differences and the reality of the real world can help set them up for success throughout their lives. Enjoy this last episode; we are excited to be back with more great topics for season three!

Key Points From This Episode:

  • [0:01:30] We introduce this week’s topic: cultivating wellness.
  • [0:01:57] Meredith shares her thoughts on the role of summer.
  • [0:02:30] The ideal way to spend summer; play.
  • [0:03:30] A quick what not to do: Cathy calls BS.
  • [0:04:44] We make the distinction between the 8th and 12th graders.
  • [0:05:20] The importance of balancing out the scale.
  • [0:05:43] What Meredith would do as a parent of a teenager going into summer.
  • [0:06:25] How family values play a role in planning for summer.
  • [0:07:30] Choosing activities for summer and what to take into consideration.
  • [0:08:40] Why Cathy loves it when kids go to outdoor camps during summer.
  • [0:11:20] Experiencing awe and its impact on mental health.
  • [0:12:30] Take your teenagers to a garden (and get them gardening).
  • [0:13:00] Summer should be restorative; our brains need to rest.
  • [0:15:15] Animals and learning to care for something; learning about a sense of self.
  • [0:16:45] Cathy’s advice to parents wondering what their kids should do for the summer.
  • [0:18:00] Thoughts on adolescents being wired to be self-centered.
  • [0:19:15] Meaningful memories and what they often end up being for teenagers.
  • [0:21:00] The importance of doing hard things.
  • [0:22:05] What to tell the kids (and their parents) who just aren’t motivated.
  • [0:25:23] Pulling the parent card.
  • [0:26:53] Why your kids need to be part of a collective.
  • [0:27:35] A quick aside about allowance.
  • [0:29:00] Why getting a summer job is not lame!
  • [0:30:48] Exposing your kids to differences and the reality of the real world.
  • [0:34:30] Celebrating different communities and experiences.
  • [0:35:45] Experiencing joy by pushing through discomfort (and potentially yucky stuff).
  • [0:39:00] Get your kids dirty and teach them to fix things.
  • [0:40:45] Have unstructured but connected fun as a family!
  • [0:43:20] Our hope for you and your family this summer.
  • [0:43:45] A Thanks from us to you!

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

National Outdoor Leadership School (NOLS)

REI

Outward Bound

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

More Ways Independent College Counselors Annoy Us13 Nov 202400:31:25

So many parents and teenagers fall into the traps independent college counselors set to sell their business as a foolproof way to get into good colleges. Today on Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, we are here to discuss why that simply isn’t possible! There are no guarantees when it comes to college applications and focusing on what you think colleges may want instead of placing emphasis on the individual and what is best for them is hugely problematic. In this conversation, you’ll hear all about what irritates us about independent college counselors, what is missing in the college admission profession, and how we do things differently. We break down some of the problematic messaging these companies use before reminding listeners that families and teenagers have a choice when it comes to how they handle the college admissions process. We also discuss why candidacy building and having an application persona is simply marketing. Finally, we stress the importance of values and authenticity when helping adolescents develop into their adult selves. Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe to hear more! 

 

Key Points From This Episode:

 

  • [0:01:25] Our irritation with companies taking advantage of the college admissions process. 
  • [0:04:20] The dangers of ignoring the individual and focusing on what colleges want alone. 
  • [0:08:12] What is missing in the college admission profession and why it’s problematic. 
  • [0:10:34] A breakdown of some of the problematic college admission messaging. 
  • [0:10:42] The benefits of competitive environments, even if you do not win. 
  • [0:13:14] How to make room for time-consuming sports that you love and other activities. 
  • [0:18:48] Why we shouldn’t expect teenagers to do meaningful research. 
  • [0:21:34] A reminder that families have a choice in how they approach this process. 
  • [0:26:00] Why candidacy building and creating an application persona is just marketing. 
  • [0:26:42] Dangers of approaching college applications like this and the importance of values. 

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

When Should I Get My Kid a Smartphone?17 May 202300:40:52

Deciding when to grant your child the coveted keys to the digital kingdom is a deeply personal choice influenced by a multitude of factors, ranging from age and maturity level to the unique needs and circumstances of your own family. But how can you determine the right time for your child to step into the realm of smartphones? And if you do take the leap, what rules and boundaries should you establish? In this episode, we delve into the intricate landscape of parental decision-making regarding smartphones. We dissect the ins and outs of parental control mechanisms, explore effective strategies to maintain a healthy balance of freedom and guidance in this digital age, and discuss how to cultivate a broader sense of responsibility. Through insightful research and expert opinions, we shed light on how social connections can flourish beyond the screen, emphasizing the significance of offline interactions and cultivating a well-rounded social foundation. Discover practical tips and actionable strategies to help navigate the smartphone conundrum with confidence, ensuring your child's digital journey is positive and balanced. Tune in now!

Key Points From This Episode:

  • [0:01:20] Outline of today’s topic and what listeners can expect.
  • [0:02:38] Whether other parents establish rules for using devices.
  • [0:03:35] How many hours kids generally spend on their smart devices.
  • [0:05:24] We unpack when it is appropriate to give your child a smartphone.
  • [0:08:00] Insights from an interesting study on the topic.
  • [0:08:58] Being honest about why your child wants a cellphone.
  • [0:11:00] Factors to consider when evaluating your child’s readiness for a cellphone.
  • [0:13:58] How to assess your child’s maturity effectively.
  • [0:19:03] The obvious signs that your child should not have access to a cellphone.
  • [0:22:15] Examples of rules that parents can implement regarding smart devices.
  • [0:27:10] An overview of the negative impacts a cellphone may have on your child.
  • [0:30:25] Hear how parents can set an example for responsible cellphone use.
  • [0:32:35] Overview of the pros and cons of parental controls.
  • [0:33:40] Important conversations parents should be having with kids.
  • [0:35:50] Why is it vital that your child understands what goes on the internet stays forever.
  • [0:40:25] A helpful resource you can leverage as a parent.

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Common Sense Media 

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Reflections On This Year’s Admissions Cycle10 May 202300:32:12

If it were just that simple — ticking the boxes and doing “the right things”  — we would package it up and sell it (for a helluva lot of money). But it’s not. To be a competitive option for college admissions, your kids must do the hard stuff, get out of their comfort zone, develop themselves personally, and do difficult things (things they don’t necessarily want to do!) Today we eagerly share our thoughts and reflections on the 2022 admissions cycle. We won’t be offering facts and figures, instead, we offer you what we saw with the group of students, and their families, that we worked with this year last year. We touch on trends, themes, and takeaways that continue to be true. Join us as we get into it. 

 

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Novia

Maia Learning

Arthur Brooks

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

No One’s Getting into Stanford, So Do This Instead19 Apr 202300:35:01

In the wake of the dreaded college admissions results, and considering their three percent admission rate, we want to tell parents to stop putting their eggs in those baskets and focus on what comes after college! Today, we will drop a few truth bombs about the difficulties of getting into prestigious colleges and why it is not the end of the world if your teenagers don’t. Tuning in, you’ll hear all about why you need to encourage your children to think beyond college, mistakes parents make in their lack of objectivity during this process as well as not developing with the times, and why there needs to be a mindset shift around college and success in general. Teenagers often feel very despondent and demotivated when they don’t get the news they want when college admissions are announced and in this episode, we delve into how that feeling of failure can be avoided and managed before discussing the dangers of forcing your child into a narrow definition of success. Lastly, we explain why we are so inspired by teenagers who have experienced real hardship and why we all need a little bit of perspective. So to find out what to do when your child doesn’t get into the college of their choice and to get a bit of insight into the importance of having conversations around values, tune in now!

Key Points From This Episode:

  • [0:01:23] The importance of teaching teens to think beyond merely just getting into college. 
  • [0:03:52] Where our opinions on this subject come from; belief/ideology and education.
  • [0:04:51] Why the reality of the admissions is hard for parents to grasp and why they aren’t objective.
  • [0:06:03] The dangers of treating college applications the same as parents did their own.
  • [0:08:01] Why we need to change our mindset about college and the definition of success.
  • [0:15:03] How to avoid the feeling of failure when a teen doesn’t get the college news they want.
  • [0:15:55] Why forcing your child into a narrow definition of success is detrimental.
  • [0:24:34] Why we should highlight those who have struggled as models for success.
  • [0:25:09] What this comes down to and how to move the focus from achievement: values. 
  • [0:30:40] A reminder to parents to get perspective and to prepare their teenagers for life better.

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Stanford University

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

Am I Putting Too Much Pressure On My Kid?12 Apr 202300:50:27

Buckle up people, we’ve got another exciting episode for you! Today, we are talking about pressure versus expectation. A question often brought up by parents in our coaching sessions is, “Am I putting too much pressure on my kid?” Join us as we dive into a discussion about the tension between applying pressure versus expectation, and what that looks like. We go through a few real-life scenarios of parents and children and talk about some important points behind the motivation of the pressure. Then, we delve into the importance of encouragement and setting healthy expectations, how it may actually be beneficial to your kid, and why it’s important that parents incorporate mindfulness, self-reflection, and revisiting in their parenting. If you want to learn more about whether it’s a lack of your child’s willpower or maybe some deeper issues, tune in for some great advice. And remember, be easy and gentle with yourselves, parents, as you walk the tightrope between pressure and healthy expectations, and remember, it’s okay to make mistakes. 

 

Key Points From This Episode:

 

  • [0:00:54] An introduction to our topic for today.
  • [0:02:00] A question parents often ask regarding pressure!
  • [0:02:30] The quadrant chart for applying pressure.
  • [0:05:00] Thoughts on the scenario Cathy shares regarding pressure.
  • [0:06:30] We question the different motivations behind “applying pressure”.
  • [0:08:20] Meredith shares a situation from her coaching.
  • [0:10:00] Encouragement versus pressure.
  • [0:11:08] Discerning when to encourage your children.
  • [0:11:40] Why the frame [of the pressure] is important.
  • [0:12:35] What bugs Meredith about the concept of parental pressure.
  • [0:14:40] Why parental expectation might actually be beneficial for children.
  • [0:17:45] What secure attachment in adolescence looks like: attainment.
  • [0:19:20] When family values can become a guide for children.
  • [0:20:30] The importance of mindfulness, self-reflection, and revisiting in parenting.
  • [0:24:10] Exploring the trust piece and why it’s key when working with teenagers.
  • [0:24:30] Cathy shares another scenario from her coaching regarding parental pressure.
  • [0:27:25] What research shows about pressure combined with zero agency.
  • [0:28:20] Meredith shares her thoughts on Cathy’s second scenario.
  • [0:31:10] Cathy’s suggestion to the parents of the second scenario.
  • [0:33:40] Finding intermediary steps in the scenario.
  • [0:35:20] Tips on managing stress and anxiety (as it relates).
  • [0:35:40] How culture can play a role in certain situations.
  • [0:37:00] Meredith shares another scenario; therapy and culture. 
  • [0:40:30] Too much pressure and not enough clarity around expectations.
  • [0:41:07] Why it’s important for parents to have, and seek out, support around them.
  • [0:45:00] Why bringing compassion is so important, to everyone.
  • [0:45:15] Keep your eye on the long-term prize, it’s not a straight line.
  • [0:46:55] Meredith shares an interesting article about meaning and purpose.
  • [0:48:36] The big takeaway from today.

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

'How Smart People Can Stop Being Miserable'

Man's Search For Meaning

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You

Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram

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