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Lara and Carey are back with another installment of GENIUS ALERT with screenwriter, creative director and cultural scholar Patrik Sandberg, who makes his grand SUP return today. Together they delve into the seminal and earth-shattering three episode splendor of SCARY ISLAND, from season three of RHONY.

With Ramona’s rindom 17th anniversary vow renewal to Mario on the horizon, she organizes a pseudo bachelorette trip to St. John in the Virgin Islands with Bethenny, Alex, Sonja and Kelly Killoren Bensimon. Jill and Countess hang back in the Big Apple, where Jill stews over the continued fallout of her friendship with B and practices ice skating in a bone chilling leotard for a charity she’s hosting. Luann goes on a date with a spooky writer and hits the studio with producer Chris Young to record “Money Can’t Buy You Class,” in iconic fashion.

Bethenny, pregnant and grieving her recently deceased father, does her best to rise above the mounting antics of Kelly, whose malapropisms and aggro morality policing alienates the whole yacht-bound group of ladies. With deranged focus, Kelly locks into her cosmic nemesis Bethenny, with culinary insults and hoe-bag accusations in tow. It all culminates during the fateful dinner at the Most Dangerous Game-ass villa Ramona rents for the ladies. Set off by Skinnygirl products, crab cakes, Alex’s bloody eyes and Ramona’s motherly scolding, Kelly crescendos into a Crucible-esque performance of terror and rage that goes down in herstory books.

Once Kelly flees the Caribbean by dawn, the survivors of Ramona’s Girls Trip think it’s clear skies till they're back in New York, but when the clip-clop of wedge heels echoes through the villa on the final day of vacation, they realize Scary Island has one last trick in store for them. The horn-like “Hiiiiiii” heard around the world...

Listen to this episode ad-free AND get access to weekly bonus episodes + video bonus episodes by joining the SUP Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/sexyuniquepodcast

Watch video episodes of the pod every week by subscribing to the SUP YouTube: p@sexyuniquepodcast

Relive the best moments of this iconic podcast by following the SUP TikTok: @sexyuniquepodcast

Get Lara’s outfit details and podcast candle recs on ShopMy: https://shopmy.us/shop/larzmarie

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Lara and Carey are back in Brigham Young’s Utah for the second episode of the new RHOSLC season. But first they discuss the shoncking splatter fest displayed by the victor of a fitness competition in China, the new street drug ready to snatch Fentanyl’s demonic wig, and Farah Abraham’s goth daughter.

On RHOSLC, Lisa Barlow introduces the world to her dear friend and former glam girl, Quai, who’s leveled up in life with a rich, golden-nippled husband, a new 10,000 sq. foot home and literal mountainside all to herself. Quai tries to defend her girl Wild Rose, much to Barlow’s dismay. A self-flagellating Wild Rose has a sit-down with a newly buff Justin, revealing their in-house trial separation, Whitney’s newfound sobriety, and the divisive nature of Del Taco coupons. Bronwyn and her gay boyfriend Brandon go ice skating, where they discuss their whirlwind romance and Todd’s old farty ass. Heather and Wild Rose visit a snowflake-less Britani and Heather reveals that Bron and Brandon did Ayahuasca in Cabo. Then, aprés-ski with Lisa B! commences, as the ladies minus Mary and plus Quai gather for a day on the slopes. Heather and Lisa bury the hatchet over Heather’s drunkard trolling of BabyGirl. Whitney also apologizes to Lisa over drag brunchgate, which New York’s greatest daughter graciously accepts. But a Lisa Barlow-branded dinner opens Pandora’s Box once more, as Lady New Head Meredith refuses to accept Wild Rose’s pleas for forgiveness…

Listen to this episode ad-free AND get access to weekly bonus episodes + video bonus episodes by joining the SUP Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/sexyuniquepodcast

Watch video episodes of the pod every week by subscribing to the SUP YouTube: p@sexyuniquepodcast

Relive the best moments of this iconic podcast by following the SUP TikTok: @sexyuniquepodcast

Get Lara’s outfit details and podcast candle recs on ShopMy: https://shopmy.us/shop/larzmarie

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Lara and Carey are back for another rendition of Genius Alert, and this time they’ve enlisted the brilliance of 5x Emmy-winning writer and reality TV scientist, Ali Barthwell. They discuss Ali’s new book “Reality TV for Snobs,” which acts as a definitive guide to the essential reality shows of the 21st century, including Real Housewives, Vanderpump Rules, and, of course, America’s Next Top Model; the latter of which Ali stops by the SUP Stu on her way to ANOTHER Emmy awards (for her work on Last Week Tonight with John Oliver) to discuss. Yes, that’s right: the three embark on a journey back to Tyra Banks’s Model Land, discussing cycle four, episode 7 “The Girl Who Sends Tyra Over the Edge.” The explosive season features legends like winner Naima, Michelle and her battle with necrosis, Brittany’s power-bangs, Kahlen’s hives, the diabolical trolling of Keenyah, the iconic Tiffany, and more.

The ladies head to a rindom acting lesson in Palos Verdes, where Larry Cross forces them to master cockney accents for some unknown reason. They girls mostly stumble, with Larry locking into Tiffany the hardest over her prescient unwillingness to be anything but herself. Their thespian prowess is tested alongside actor/model Boris Kodjoe, and the winners are treated to diamonds in a sketchy vault, while Tiffany stands up to micro-aggressive assessments of “ghetto” accents. The next day, the models are paired up with a male model named Rib for a WonderBra lingerie shoot, with many of them rightfully uncomfortable over the awkwardly sexual nature of the challenge.

Then at elimination night, the ladies are tasked with teleprompter readings, butchering the names of countless fashion houses. Tiffany, continuously mind-fucked by the judges and production, gets in her head but soon snaps into star-mode, oozing more charisma and personality than all the other girls combined. But that’s not enough for Tyra, who faces off with what she perceives as an ungrateful Tiffany in a television crash out for the ages. Nothing was ever the same.  

Listen to this episode ad-free AND get access to weekly bonus episodes + video bonus episodes by joining the SUP Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/sexyuniquepodcast

Watch video episodes of the pod every week by subscribing to the SUP YouTube: p@sexyuniquepodcast

Relive the best moments of this iconic podcast by following the SUP TikTok: @sexyuniquepodcast

Get Lara’s outfit details and podcast candle recs on ShopMy: https://shopmy.us/shop/larzmarie

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Lara and Carey are back in the promised land for a new season of Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, and 2026 is off to a devastating start. After being released from an 86-day stint in prison, Robert Jr. tragically passes away, leaving a bereaved Mary to soldier on in the face of utter despair. The women temporarily bury their many hatchets to rally behind their favorite First Lady and celebrate young RJ’s life, despite its tragic end.

Wild Rose takes a vow of sobriety after lobbing insults at Meredith and Lisa during boozy drag brunch, which landed her in the hot seat on social media. Bronwyn chats with a bobless and suspiciously pleasant Muzzy about her new romance with younger male model, Brandon, and her post-Todd future. Heather shows off her new motorcycle-driving beau, who’s grilled by her daughter after his less-than-desirable behavior at the start to their love story. Lisa Barlow and Daddy John Barlow turn the page on a new martial chapter, as John admits his flop era and recommits to the ultimate Baby Gorl in tearful, heartfelt fashion. Meredith, fresh off a head transplant, meets with BFF Lisa to discuss John’s turned leaf and the problem of The Wild Rose.

Then, Mary has the women over to her house, to thank them for their friendship and try, possibly in vain, to forge ahead as a united sisterhood.  

Listen to this episode ad-free AND get access to weekly bonus episodes + video bonus episodes by joining the SUP Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/sexyuniquepodcast

Watch video episodes of the pod every week by subscribing to the SUP YouTube: p@sexyuniquepodcast

Relive the best moments of this iconic podcast by following the SUP TikTok: @sexyuniquepodcast

Get Lara’s outfit details and podcast candle recs on ShopMy: https://shopmy.us/shop/larzmarie

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Cultural commentator, writer and TikTok powerhouse Leslie Ye (AKA Prozac Barbie) joins Lara in the SUP stu for a tête-à-tête regarding an episode from the one-season-wonder that took 2010 by storm: Kell on Earth! As Carey rebuilds after a devastating strep throat diagnosis, Lara and Leslie dive into the lasting impact of Kelly Cutrone's no-nonsense workplace approach, her incredible life as a single mom and PR maven, and the solitary table AC unit hell that is the People's Revolution office.

In Episode 4, the People's Rev underlings are rocked by the demands of London Fashion Week. Two employees are lost to the void of unemployment: One by chance after a party weekend gone wrong in The Hamptons, and the other by choice after realizing she can't hang with the big dogs and requests to be let go. A prospective employee is hired and then fired 30 minutes later. Office bad boy Andrew Mukamal convinces the beleaguered Stefanie Skinner to live a little, and Kelly links with her sexy Italian baby daddy in London.

Listen to this episode ad-free AND get access to weekly bonus episodes + video bonus episodes by joining the SUP Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/sexyuniquepodcast

Watch video episodes of the pod every week by subscribing to the SUP YouTube: p@sexyuniquepodcast

Relive the best moments of this iconic podcast by following the SUP TikTok: @sexyuniquepodcast

Get Lara’s outfit details and podcast candle recs on ShopMy: https://shopmy.us/shop/larzmarie

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Lara and Carey welcome Los Angeles native, electro-clash icon and podcast prophet Heather Jewett to the SUP stu for another chapter of GENIUS ALERT! First they discuss Heather’s musical past in legendary indie band Gravy Train!, getting cancelled on early 2000s lesbian message boards, taking the temperature in the Lindsay Clancy trial, and the sweeping crisis of straight men turning to the outdoors.

Then Heather invites Larz and Carz to come with her down the rocky road of her favorite episode of reality television ever: “Sylvia” in season 2, episode 19 of A&E’s immortal Intervention. Sylvia, the Southern belle Broadway actress turned prestige North Carolina interior designer, has fallen from grace and descended into full blown mini-bottle alcoholism. After two divorces and losing custody of her children, the tortured perfectionist and beauty queen stares down the barrel of vodka-soaked oblivion (with the well-meaning enabling of her appearance-obsessed mother, family, and friends.)

Follow Heather, Lara and Carey as they watch Sylvia try to get her sh*t together as the countdown to her inevitable intervention begins…

Listen to this episode ad-free AND get access to weekly bonus episodes + video bonus episodes by joining the SUP Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/sexyuniquepodcast

Watch video episodes of the pod every week by subscribing to the SUP YouTube: p@sexyuniquepodcast

Relive the best moments of this iconic podcast by following the SUP TikTok: @sexyuniquepodcast

Get Lara’s outfit details and podcast candle recs on ShopMy: https://shopmy.us/shop/larzmarie

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Lara and Carey turn the page on another chapter of the inaugural Genius Alert series, this time calling in fellow Los Angeles reality scholar/social media star, Farai Bennett. They discuss Farai’s anti-Valley but (pro-SUP Valley) recaps mentality, Lara’s relationship to the VPR universe at large, and more. Together the three take on a doozy of an undertaking… recapping parts 1-4 of Kim's Fairytale Wedding: A Kardashian Event in the seminal sixth season (eps 14 & 15) of the show that changed it all.

In 2011, where they lay their scene, Kim and Mama Kris dive into the abyss of wedding planning for her upcoming nuptials to rindom NBA star Kris Humphries, and from the start, the writing of their inevitable demise is on the rhinestoned walls. Humphries butts heads with the other Sisters Kardashian, mainly Khloe, who doubt his intentions with their sister and seek to protect their family’s already flourishing empire. Ignoring the warning signs, Kim buries herself in wedding prep, from a gaudy registry featuring Hermes plates to a custom-designed and fitted Vera Wang dress; Humph challenges the matriarchy, urging his bride-to-be to ignore her family's wishes, take his name and join him by the lake in Minnesota for a quieter life.

Meanwhile, Rob struggles with a junk food addiction, made worse by his sisters’ teasing, and Kris Jenner flirts with death and existential despair with a pre-wedding facelift. As tensions between Kim and Humphries mount, not even joint bachelorette/bachelor parties, a star-studded wedding guest list including Maria Menounos and Dina Lohan, and a $17 million paycheck can stop what’s coming: a 72 day marriage ending in divorce before the new year.

Follow Lara, Carey and Farai into Hetero Hell as they recap America’s princess in a time of statement jewelry and Tuscan-style mansions.   

Listen to this episode ad-free AND get access to weekly bonus episodes + video bonus episodes by joining the SUP Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/sexyuniquepodcast

Watch video episodes of the pod every week by subscribing to the SUP YouTube: p@sexyuniquepodcast

Relive the best moments of this iconic podcast by following the SUP TikTok: @sexyuniquepodcast

Get Lara’s outfit details and podcast candle recs on ShopMy: https://shopmy.us/shop/larzmarie

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Lara and Carey return with one last dispatch for the season three reunion of The Valley, but first they discuss Carey’s breaking medical news, Meghan and Harry’s California exodus back to the UK, a brand new blueberry recall, an Amazon drone mishap in Texas, a Chinese robot’s over-ambitious sprint, LA’s delivery robots meeting in the dead of night, and more.

Back on The Valley, Danny’s boozy shenanigans at Jasmine’s wedding are finally revealed and Team Booko goes into full crisis management mode. Danny blames not only Jinet but Jax for any negative opinions of over problem drinking, as Lala takes him to task over his supernatural lack of accountability. Michelle confronts her discomfort with Jesse and Lacy’s PDA; Zack and Doute apologize to Brittany for siding with Nia. Doute and Luke’s stellar relationship continues to be on display and Danny lists his one single regret. And the embers of another season disappear over the canyons of the San Fernando Valley, high above Santa Clarita and all its glittering horrors…  

Listen to this episode ad-free AND get access to weekly bonus episodes + video bonus episodes by joining the SUP Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/sexyuniquepodcast

Watch video episodes of the pod every week by subscribing to the SUP YouTube: p@sexyuniquepodcast

Relive the best moments of this iconic podcast by following the SUP TikTok: @sexyuniquepodcast

Get Lara’s outfit details and podcast candle recs on ShopMy: https://shopmy.us/shop/larzmarie

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Lara and Carey return for part II of the season three reunion for The Valley, but first they discuss the war against Bethenny’s Supermodel Cafe in The Hamptons, a mother/daughter duo’s war against Big Data Centers in the name of Christ, the bust of a well-oiled cocaine ring at a Penn Stare, and Marc Jacobs being open to styling Luigi Mangione.

Then on the Valley reunion, lunchtime is officially over, and Jesse and Michelle talk through their 1,000-year-long divorce and their tenuously peaceful co-parenting dynamic. Lacy calls out the perceived misogyny against her and Jesse’s relationship while Michelle fumes at Bunker Boss’s deep love with her ex-husband. Tom gushes over Kiana and his one-sided plans for a family, TomTom’s closure and “IP” up for sale, and breaking even despite all his clownery. Doute and Luke’s fraught love is put on trial, as all signs point to a split. Meanwhile the Capernas and the Bookos face-off once more in their multi lifetime-spanning feud. Danny and Nia continue their trad-marriage charade, denying Danny’s problem drinking. But Brittany clocks in during the last minute of the show, alluding to a Danny Glug Glug incident at Jasmine’s wedding that may alter the course of history forever.  

Listen to this episode ad-free AND get access to weekly bonus episodes + video bonus episodes by joining the SUP Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/sexyuniquepodcast

Watch video episodes of the pod every week by subscribing to the SUP YouTube: p@sexyuniquepodcast

Relive the best moments of this iconic podcast by following the SUP TikTok: @sexyuniquepodcast

Get Lara’s outfit details and podcast candle recs on ShopMy: https://shopmy.us/shop/larzmarie

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Lara and Carey lock back into the San Fernando Valley, but first they discuss Jax’s now-deleted tirade against Brittany on Instagram, Clavicular’s harrowing new transmoggification, the confounding wigs in the forthcoming The Beatles biopic, taking things to a place of Donna in The Grateful Dead, and more.

Then on part one of the Valley season three reunion, the cast assembles to air their grievances and show off their cockroach brown bow dresses. Michelle plays coy about Dr. Dre, much to Jesse’s annoyance, Brittany reveals just how much she’s still paying for Jax in their not-yet-finalized divorce, Jesse weeps over Michelle and Aaron’s breakup and Michelle gets into with Lacy over alleged scream psychosis. Lala reveals the “source” over her friendship breakup with Scheana, Zack is called out for hitching his wagon to Danny and Nia, Doute explains her divorce prediction for Jinet and Jason, Jinet and Zack make a quasi-truce and Brittany and Zack face the cracks in their 20-year-long friendship.

Listen to this episode ad-free AND get access to weekly bonus episodes + video bonus episodes by joining the SUP Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/sexyuniquepodcast

Watch video episodes of the pod every week by subscribing to the SUP YouTube: p@sexyuniquepodcast

Relive the best moments of this iconic podcast by following the SUP TikTok: @sexyuniquepodcast

Get Lara’s outfit details and podcast candle recs on ShopMy: https://shopmy.us/shop/larzmarie

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Lara and Carey dive headfirst into another chapter of the inaugural GENIUS ALERT series, this time enlisting the help of bonafide genius, friend of the pod, musician and Los Angeles pod maven herself, Chloe Coover. They discuss Chloe’s lit’ral birthday, the Los Angeles of yesteryear, and the fall of celebrity culture.

Then they go back in time to the halcyon days to discuss Chloe’s favorite reality TV episode of all time: episode six of the first and only season of the seminal Pretty Wild. Aka “Vanity Unfair.” The Neiers sisters Alexis and Gabby, their adopted sister Tess and their mom/manager/homeschool teacher Andrea, navigate the glitz and glamour of 2010 LA, all while Alexis awaits sentencing for her role in the infamous Bling Ring.

Alexis is thrilled to be the subject of an upcoming Vanity Fair profile about the high profile crime, written by the one and only Nancy Jo Sales. She picks out what she believes are modest outfits for the interview, much to the horror of Gabby and Andrea. Tess and her Monroe piercing then continue to foster a one-sided relationship with Max, lead singer of emo band "Wicker" as they interrupt band practice while donning Uggz at the Groundworks on Sunset at 8pm. Gabby also pounds the pavement of Hollywood in search of a job, landing herself a spot at a pet store where she learns the ways of dog grooming and anal gland expression. Alexis gives a heart wrenching account of the Bling Ring and her plans to change the world à la Angelina Jolie to Nancy Jo, but is soon disgusted to see the final article, where Nancy’s slanderous spin on the 19-year-old enfant terrible is made immortal in ink. Then Alexis confronts Nancy Jo’s voicemail in the phone call scene that changed reality television forever.

Alexis, you f*cking rock, girl!

Listen to this episode ad-free AND get access to weekly bonus episodes + video bonus episodes by joining the SUP Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/sexyuniquepodcast

Watch video episodes of the pod every week by subscribing to the SUP YouTube: p@sexyuniquepodcast

Relive the best moments of this iconic podcast by following the SUP TikTok: @sexyuniquepodcast

Get Lara’s outfit details and podcast candle recs on ShopMy: https://shopmy.us/shop/larzmarie

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Lara and Carey are joined by one of New York City’s greatest imports, Josh Lora aka TELL THE BEES, to recap his favorite reality TV episode, “Bras and Brawls Pt. 2 “ in season two of The Real Housewives of Miami. The commentator discusses his apocalyptic experience in LA so far, how he got his start on TikTok, his eternal “A Little Life” beef, being a Non-Math Gay, and more.

On RHOM, Lisa’s lingerie party to raise money for breast cancer research is already off to a shaky start, as Joanna’s PETA ire lands on Marysol and her unabashed feather vest; Joanna also confronts her long-suffering and blackout-approaching little sister Marta if she, too, had bedroom relations with Joanna’s ex… the dastardly Joe Francis of Girls Gone Wild infamy. When Marta confirms that yes, she did, Joanna switches into DEFCON mode, to the chagrin of her fiancé Romain. Lea Black faces off with messy gay Beau, who claims she snubbed him at a gay club; Lea’s main gay James (aka Elaine Lancaster) comes to his hag’s defense, resulting in chlorine chaos. Lisa confronts Beau over getting the DJ equipment wet, who in turn throws her phone into a puddle. Adriana arrives late with her nipples out, preparing for war against one-time bestie Karent for her sh*t-stirring ways and her interview in the press where she dragged her cast mates to Hell. Joanna’s rage ramps up as Adriana starts in on her, leading to a bloodbath: Joanna slaps Marta, who tries to intervene, and Adriana pops Joanna in the face and fights her off with a broomstick after the supermodel tracks her down in a corridor. A weepy Marta is consoled by Lisa’s housekeeper Daisy, but her brief sister-wound healing is dashed when her champagne-infused instincts find her in the slimy clutches of Joe Francis once more as Lea watches on in sinister delight.

Listen to this episode ad-free AND get access to weekly bonus episodes + video bonus episodes by joining the SUP Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/sexyuniquepodcast

Watch video episodes of the pod every week by subscribing to the SUP YouTube: p@sexyuniquepodcast

Relive the best moments of this iconic podcast by following the SUP TikTok: @sexyuniquepodcast

Get Lara’s outfit details and podcast candle recs on ShopMy: https://shopmy.us/shop/larzmarie

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Lara and Carey return for the season finale of The Valley, but first they discuss Lara’s upcoming Italian eclipse moment, the new but not surprising Jared Leto sex pest doc on BBC, testing their skills on the two questions that led to Ben Affleck’s Who Wants to be a Millionaire? victory, Bethenny Frankel’s new supermodel cafe, and Bryan Johnson’s longevity fatigue.

Back on The Valley, Halloween approaches. But first, Lala meets with Nia for coffee in a Moulin Rouge outfit; while feeding Saerpent, Nia’s discloses more about her traumatizing past and longing for stability at all costs. Doute and Luke dig themselves further into hetero hell, and Michelle discloses to Dreadlocks Natalie her plans to own a home. As Brittany’s Big Vampire Soiree kicks off, Danny transforms into Blackout Bookula, sucking all the oxygen out of the backyard, Zack gets called out for being two-faced about Jinet, Jesse accuses Michelle of being in a secret relationship, Jasmine transforms into a family court attorney, and Doute full-on lies to save face over her Nia Disclosure Day to a shuncked and horrified Brittany. Finally, Jason and Danny — nearly unconscious — have it out in the Beetle Juice room; Danny Scary Christian points in Janet’s face, who returns it with a soda to Danny’s temple. Janet loses the battle, for now, and The Bookos flee into the night back to Santa Clarita, as Saerpent claims victory over the souls of the living and the dead.  

Listen to this episode ad-free AND get access to weekly bonus episodes + video bonus episodes by joining the SUP Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/sexyuniquepodcast

Watch video episodes of the pod every week by subscribing to the SUP YouTube: p@sexyuniquepodcast

Relive the best moments of this iconic podcast by following the SUP TikTok: @sexyuniquepodcast

Get Lara’s outfit details and podcast candle recs on ShopMy: https://shopmy.us/shop/larzmarie

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Carey and Lara are back with a penultimate recap of everyone’s favorite hetero nightmares, but first, Lara takes time out to speak out on a new initiative she’s undertaking to fight for the movie-going spirit of Los Angeles. They also talk Nicole Kidman’s possible new beau or possible new gay, newly surfaced video of Clavicular’s middle school graduation, Danny Booko’s TMI battle with porn addiction, and a harrowing Schwartz paparazzi pic.

Back on The Valley, Schwartz dotes on Kiana, Michelle sells Sunset, and Zack and Benji have a difficult convo about theoretical babies and their immigration stress. Nia and Saerpent return from Miss U.S.A., letting Danny off the hook from being a parent once more; Danny laments his lack of trust in the group as Saerpent feeds.

Then Michelle and Jesse make their divorce official-official and celebrate with bittersweet champagne, long-winded speeches and explosive sexual chemistry. Schwartz, Kiana, Michelle and Lala take a rindom pontoon ride where Schwartz comes clean about the boys and Doute not taking Jinet’s S/A, to the horror of La. Doute and Luke give a poor man’s version of Couples Therapy where they discuss WeddingGate, which is made worse by Luke’s careless zingers. The girls + Zack + Lacy, minus Nia and Doute, head to Chili’s where Brittany and Zack butt heads over Nia and Zack sharts in the restroom. Brittany does a sexy photo shoot to celebrate her mommy makeover and prepares for her big season finale Halloween party. Lala confronts Doute over not giving Jinet grace about her S/A admission.

Listen to this episode ad-free AND get access to weekly bonus episodes + video bonus episodes by joining the SUP Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/sexyuniquepodcast

Watch video episodes of the pod every week by subscribing to the SUP YouTube: p@sexyuniquepodcast

Relive the best moments of this iconic podcast by following the SUP TikTok: @sexyuniquepodcast

Get Lara’s outfit details and podcast candle recs on ShopMy: https://shopmy.us/shop/larzmarie

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Lara and Carey return to talk Lara’s upcoming international adventure, moving heaven and earth for the upgrade, Carey’s high altitude bathroom rituals, a harrowing new “Special Forces” cast featuring Brandi Glanville and George Santos, a history-making “Golden Life” update, and finally seeing The Rizzler as a national treasure. They also discuss the breaking news that Jax and husband Brittany’s longtime, Canada-based publicist are bumping purses. A reader recounts their debaucherous night in Toronto with Mr. Taylor himself.

Back on The Valley, the crew reels from their disastrous vacation in Mexico; Nia (with Saerpent) prepares to leave for Miss USA where she is judged, forcing Danny to confront the unthinkable: caring for their children for a few days without her. Danny also readies himself for his overdue vasectomy procedure, as Jesse, Luke and Schwartz join him for a “Balls Voyage” drink sesh out in the Santa Clarita Horror; Jesse and Luke question Janet’s timing for her S/A reveal. Meanwhile, Jasmine tries on wedding dresses for her sweet mother, Brittany and Zack recount Jasmine’s long and arduous romantic path to finding Melissa; and Zack accompanies Danny for the Big Snip. Lala celebrates seven years of sobriety, where Janet and Doute have it out at the dinner table; Lala grapples with putting her longtime dog down. Doute settles back into Los Angeles serenity, confronting Luke once again about his own wedding bombshell. Then the crew descends on a Hollywood rooftop where Britt’s engagement party for Jasmine and Melissa commences: Janet unsuccessfully tries to thaw the ice between her and Jesse, Brittany sweats in her heels, and Jasmine and Melissa look ahead to their dream Jersey nuptials.

Listen to this episode ad-free AND get access to weekly bonus episodes + video bonus episodes by joining the SUP Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/sexyuniquepodcast

Watch video episodes of the pod every week by subscribing to the SUP YouTube: p@sexyuniquepodcast

Relive the best moments of this iconic podcast by following the SUP TikTok: @sexyuniquepodcast

Get Lara’s outfit details and podcast candle recs on ShopMy: https://shopmy.us/shop/larzmarie

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Lara and Carey return to the birthday trip of nightmares, but first they discuss Jenn Pendranti’s son allegedly committing arson and Justin Baldoni and his wife’s rindom new Instagram video, beamed in from Nashville.

Back on The Valley, the day of judgment begins: Danny’s birthday, and Brittany forgot to wear her stomach compressions overnight! Brittany, Lala, and Jinet sit out Danny’s Miami Vice booze cruise, and Janet confides in Lala about a past trauma that’s resurfacing, via Danny’s drunken terrorism. On the boat, the crew heads to an island buffet, where Michelle and Lacey talk PDA Gate, and Jesse blabs to Doute about Luke’s wedding confession; a shunked Doute confronts Luke, leading to more trouble in paradise. Schwartz wears a bandage around his face in solidarity with Zack (post-streetlight strike) and the crew assembles for their final night in Mexico to celebrate Danny’s awkward birthday. Nia goes into full PR mode, fighting off Lala and Michelle, causing Danny to descend into the Darkside once more. Nia flees, but not before Mama Doute comes to her side, attempting to soothe her newly-minted bestie as only a Mama can…

Listen to this episode ad-free AND get access to weekly bonus episodes + video bonus episodes by joining the SUP Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/sexyuniquepodcast

Watch video episodes of the pod every week by subscribing to the SUP YouTube: p@sexyuniquepodcast

Relive the best moments of this iconic podcast by following the SUP TikTok: @sexyuniquepodcast

Get Lara’s outfit details and podcast candle recs on ShopMy: https://shopmy.us/shop/larzmarie

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Lara and Carey reunite after his whirlwind Fire Island adventure. They discuss his gay ass vacation, Madonna’s LGBTQ opus, the artist selling trash cubes from Taylor’s Fall of Rome wedding, Lena Dunham’s continuing to triumph over evil, and more.

Then back on the unholy birthday trinity trip in Mexico, Schwartz’s bday lunch from Hell rages on, as Jinet breaks down to Jason over Danny’s drunken behavior. Michelle keeps lamenting Jesse and Lacey’s PDA, as Lacey arrives right on time for Zack’s birthday leg. Luke talks Donte with Brittany and Lala, and Brittany frees the tourtles. Danny and Nia whip each other up over the haters. Then the crew heads on a double decker bus to the clubs; Brittany confronts Jesse and Zack’s head gets bashed by a low-hanging street light, forcing him to be rushed to the hospital. In honor of Zack, the crew rages on. Nia tries to neuter Danny’s hip thrusts and overall Nigerians, activating soon-to-be birthday boy Darkside Danny for another night of horrors…

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Lara and Carey lock back in for the second installment in SUP’s brand new series: GENIUS ALERT. This time, they enlist comedian/social media star Charles Hsu to pick his favorite episode of reality TV ever: “Slutty Island” on RHONY Season 5. First, the three discuss Charles’s introduction to SUP, how Sonja Morgan inspires his characters on TikTok, the Love Island industrial complex and taking things to a place of sliming/hot dogs.

On RHONY, Carole hosts the women on a lux excursion to St. Barths, and Luann is in the hot seat after allegedly cheating on Jacques with Johnny Depp lookalike Tomas the Pirate. Ramona tries to squeeze the info out of Tomas to in all her CIA-esque interrogation skills, but it’s no use. Sonja, possessed by sun and wine, sets her sights on the young libertine, and the two sneak off into the night for some anal in the garden of good and evil. After a glorious yacht trip the next day, Ramona and Sonja gird their loins for the arrival of Aviva, who forces Reid to accompany her on the harrowing plane ride into St. Barths, and arrives at the house to a less than enthusiastic reception. Disgusted by Ramona and Sonja, Aviva wages war in the name of Reid and Vassar College, dragging the girls trip into a night of screaming, tears, and Heather “Holla Mama” Thomson.

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In a brand new SUP series “GENIUS ALERT” Lara and Carey are joined by the inimitable duo from New York, Evan Lazarus and Amelia Ritthaler, hosts of the iconic Girls Rewatch podcast, to recap their favorite reality show episode of all time. They discuss their brief foray into LA and Evan’s perma-war with Bethenny Frankel, tracking her TikTok posting schedule and exploring the trials and tribulations of her post RHONY celebrity.

Then the four get right into Evan and Amelia’s pick of the litter: season 2, episode 6 of RHOBH… “Let the Games Begin.” Back in the golden days of 2011, LVP prepares to host a dinner to celebrate Pandora and Jason’s engagement, and terrorizes her long-suffering housekeeper Rosia. Taylor enlists LA’s premiere event coordinator Dana Wilkey to host an ill-conceived game night at her haunted house of terrors. Adrienne raises concerns to Kyle over Kim’s mental health after a troubling trip to Sacramento, then tells Brandi about her polarizing parenting style when her son pissed in Adrienne’s backyard.

At Dracula’s Castle (Dana’s house), the women —minus LVP and Adrienne —gather for no real food, bizarre desserts, a lack of furniture, and Dana’s cig-charred brow-nosing of the Sisters Richards. Brandi, on crutches, remains the outcast of the crew, forced to be on Kyle and Kim’s “celebrity” team. As Kim’s frequent bathroom trips and stage whispers, Brandi insults ramp up and the future face parasite victim is pushed to the brim, priming us for a showdown with two-thirds of the Richards coven and the “sl*t pig” heard ‘round the world!  

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Lara and Carey return to Puerto Vallarta to check in with the San Fernando Valley’s greatest luminaries. But first they discuss tragic news about Lady Martha’s beloved bet bird Hecate, the future of Ladies of London: The New Reign, the artist formerly known as Club Chalamet meeting her match in a fellow Connor Storrie super-fan in Paris, and more details about Taylor Swift’s terrifying wedding at Madison Square Garden.

Back in Mexico, Schwartzapalooza comes to a screeching halt when the crew heads upstairs: Lala stays on Danny’s ass about his anti-Janet social media behavior, Zack channels Pazzazu to yell at his hags, Brittany finally gives Danny a piece of her bags-riddled mind, and Janet begins her fascinating, non-confrontational confrontations by addressing the ceiling, the ground — anywhere but in the direction of Danny and Nia. Doute hangs onto her own version of Luke’s parenting while Danny reveals his PTSD over being called out for sex pestery. On a shopping excursion, Nia lays onto Jinet — with Saerpent by her side — some more, causing Jinet to activate fight or flight mode (talking to herself, trolling Jesse for her massive debt); Michelle reveals Jesse’s zest for colonics.

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Lara and Carey return to the San Fernando to follow up with their favorite denizens of Hades, but first they discuss ‘Disclosure Day,’ Granpapa Speilberg, Emily Blunt’s performance of a lifetime, and thinspo aliens. They also talk the Modelland takeover of the internet, and Tyra Banks’s wonder emporium. Plus, a quick recap of the Summer House bonus episode at the very end!

Back on The Valley, the crew prepares to head to Mexico for the triple birthday extravaganza; Zack and Jasmine get butt facials and Brittany tells Doute she’s over her perma-stanning of Danny & Nia. Then to the Baja they go, and Doute’s travel anxiety gets the best of her, starting in the airport after she’s accosted in the restroom with Kaia by some Bravo fans. Her mood continues to darken, even with the help of her mystery sister Casey and her husband there to help with baby duty, Doute goes full Punisher mode and unleashes her post-partum stress on Luke. Schwartz’s musics festival themed birthday portion of the trip arrives just in time for a fearsome thunderstorm. Glug Glug hoots and hollers, Brittany —tubes out— rages in her GERD glory, Jesse confirms his brokenness, Jinet reveals her bisexual crush on Michelle, Doute sorrow-stomps through the Backrooms of the resort, and Serpent gains strength, biding her time until she strikes…  

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Lara and Carey return for one last tango in Charleston (on a soundstage in New York), but first they discuss The Social Reckoning trailer, Mikey Madison’s mysterious line read, and the rindom abyss of X (formerly known as Twitter). 

In the final part of the Southern Hospitality season four reunion, Emmy rounds out her confounding apology over Unsafe Gate, and Brad —rightfully— is unconvinced. Emmy evokes “As Such” once more when Will is once again mentioned. Justin explains his fluid sexuality, fights off gay baiter claims (while managing a microagression of his own); Michols and Lake go to war against Justin over Jordyn. Lake and Mia spar after Lake tells Mia she’s not a Girl’s Girl; Maddi talks her frozen eggs and she and Joe reveal their plans to make it official (moving in together). A Republic divided, all under a crescent moon and palmetto tree. 

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Lara and Carey discuss Lara’s new closet renovation, Carey incorrectly stating then finding out exactly where Lara’s closet is actually located. They also recap final part of the Summer House reunion they learned (not much), what they didn’t (a lot), Jesse’d tears, the boxes that no doubt await Amanda’s future, and West’s gurning. They also report breaking news of Milan’s Giudice’s shocking run-in with the law.

Back on The Valley, Brittany continues to drain into her bags, and thankfully may be done with Brandon for good; she reveals Nia dropping the ball with her Meal Train promise. Jesse, Lacy, Doute and Luke swear their allegiance to Danny and Nia over pickles while Jasmine asks Zack to be her non-maid of honor, maid of honor at her NJ wedding. Zack puts himself in the danger zone by accompanying Danny to a Knick knack store for his anniversary present to Nia. Then Schwartz hosts a James Bond party at his 1,000 foot tall townhome of terror, where even hobblin’ Jason and Brittany “Miss Balls”Cartwright make an appearance. Michelle wears her engagement ring as a necklace, Nia apologizes to Brittany for her Meal Train snafu, but gets into with Jinet, who calls her out for her fake ass vibes. Meanwhile, finally says what (mostly) everyone’s been thinking Jasmine tells Danny he and Nia are hypocrite Christians. Michelle and Jesse cry some more…

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Lara and Carey are back with the first part of the Southern Hospitality reunion — the first official SoHo reunion filmed on an actual soundstage in New York. But first they discuss Amanda Batula’s hairstylist speaking out in defense of that reunion bun, Kathy Hilton getting kicked out of WeHo Pride, Dorit Kemsley’s plastic surgery truth in her new memwah, and what it means to age in Los Angeles, versus everywhere else in the world.

On SoHo, the reunion kicks off with Maddi and Joe Bradley uniting in hetero hell against the “Vanilla Villa” group chat, comprised of TJ, Justin, Brad, and Mia. Michols brings a hefty color-coordinated binder with receipts to fight the litany of grievances against the former assistant manager. Grace Lily addresses her multiple arrests, Molly excuses her bad Yelp reviews, TJ laments Joe’s lack of weenie support, Michols and Lake admit to chasing each other around with knives, and Emmy switches to full Terminator mode, activating the minute Will’s name is mentioned. Nothing will be explained. Nothing will be apologized for. As such, this conversation is over.  

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Lara and Carey return for a new recap of The Valley, but first, they breakdown part II of the earth-shattering Summer House reunion, West’s diabolical essence, the Kyle Cooke Industrial Complex, Amanda’s fish bun and Gilded Hubbard’s Monster Truck Rally energy. Back on The Valley, Nia and Danny continue their marital ruse, as Lara and Carey ponder the secrets of Baby Adelaide. Jinet tends to a handicapped Jason, as Brittany’s post-mommy makeover bedrest exposes Brandon’s flopness and physical evidence of Danny’s secret glug-glugging. Jasmine and Melissa plan their rindom engagement party, and Zack plans his big housewarming (minus furniture). Then, at Zack’s gay soiree, he toasts to Mama Doute and confronts Danny over his She’s Startin’ demonic booze behavior; Lacy trolls Michelle and Lala teaches Schwartz’s new girlfriend a valuable lesson.

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Lara and Carey are back with genius new rage bait from our Lady of Arugula Gwyneth Paltrow, Bryan Johnson’s new vagina crusade, and Gayle King’s shocking tale of her ex-husband’s infidelity.

On the season finale Southern Hospitality, Leva suffers through yet another Joe Bradley ChatGPT business pitch while Republic gears up for an end of summer Nawlins’-themed staff party. Lake hosts everyone at her debut Charleston art show, lamenting her flop father’s absence and committing to her ultimate destiny of Gallery Girl. Michols pretends he wasn’t demoted at work while TJ debuts his hung and girthy new beau. Then at the staff party, Michols confronts Molly over her sh*t-talking, who drag ultimate fire starter Emmy into the clown show; Michols rages against all, fleeing the party in the name of his modeling career. Finally, Joe and Maddie confront Leva over her new bar, accusing her of stealing Joe’s idea for a rooftop venue, forcing Leva to initiate a smackdown. Then, in the final two minutes, TJ drops a bomb about Maddi and Joe’s fledgling future…  

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Lara and Carey talk Disclosure Day, give the galactic implications, the alien honeypot method, and what advice they’d give interstellar visitors. They also recap part one of the Summer House reunion: Amanda’s barred out deceit, West’s muted cowardice, Bailey’s evisceration of Ben, Kyle’s DJ antics, another brush with HubHouse’s gilded manor, and SH lore.

Back on The Valley, Luke gets a fishin’ and f*ckin’ day while Michelle complains to Lala about her never-ending divorce and her financial mess with Jesse. Doute and Zack have a tough love talk with Nia over Danny’s boozin’; Nia and Danny lock in on their “us and Jesus against the world” defense. Jason’s disembodied knee gets operated on and Brittany hosts a pre-mommy makeover crab boil at her house. Jasmine calls out Doute’s hypocrisy after Mama Kristen lends an ear to Lala’s Danny troubles then visits Jason and Jinet with Schwartz and a mariachi band. Finally, Jesse and Michelle meet, where Michelle presents divorce papers and a monetary plan to expedite their stalemated split.

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In the penultimate Southern Hospitality recap, Lara and Carey rage with the employees of Republic against the dying of the Southern Carolina light. But first they discuss Air France getting taken to a place of manslaughter, Nick Lachey’s first class run-in with his ex Jessica Simpson, and a woman’s divine right to stick her kids in coach.

Back on SoHo, the crew prepares for Republic’s annual white party, featuring Lovecraftian horrors; Joe prepares a rindom business plan and runs it by Mummy. Maddi enlists the Mother of All DJs herself, Meredith Marks, to headline a party to celebrate Michols’s big So.Gay magazine cover. Meanwhile, Michols’s dinner with his semi-estranged mom goes south while Lake reconnects with her dad, with some caveats; Maddi gets pressure from her intense mom for grandchildren. The So.Gay soiree happens with a bang; Grace Lily makes a sad cameo and Emmy continues to make things weird. Then Michols gets an email that changes the very course of Republic herstory.

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Lara and Carey return for one last night in paradise, as the San Diego trip from Hell comes to a close. But first they discuss horror movies in 2026 and the anti-grandma agenda of Lee Cronin’s The Mummy. They also give their thoughts on the trailer for the Summer House reunion: West going mute, Ciara putting it all on the line, Gilded Age Hubbard achieving American icon status, and Kyle slipping through the cracks…

Back on The Valley, Glug Glug’s drunken terrorism continues as Lala galvanizes Nia to defend herself, just a little bit. The men participate in the busted drag pageant, where Luke channels c*nt in a way that shocks even Lara and Carey; Danny escalates his blackout rage, making things awkward with everyone in the group. Back in LA, Jinet and Jason contemplate baby #2 shortly before Jason busts his knee playing a harrowing game of pickup b-ball with Jesse, Schwartz and Luke. Then Britt, Doute, Lala and Zack meet for lunch, where Doute pleads the fifth on Danny’s piggish ways, Zack calls Brittany out for her true thoughts about Nia, and Lala gives them all… a little extra dose of Lala.  

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Lara and Carey return to Punta Cana for one last gig in paradise with the Southern Hospitality gang, but first they discuss Apple Martin’s high fashion debut, Dorit’s already-iconic book tour, and PK making the roads of Los Angeles a less safe place.

Back on Southern Hospitality, the crew assembles for one last dinner before Maddi’s big 9 pm DJ spot. Michols and Emmy’s conflict drives She Hulk into another, shuncking and dry-heave meltdown, leaving everyone at the table speechless. At Maddi’s big set, Emmy creates a chaos-diversion by throwing Michols under the bus with Molly. In Charleston, Lake takes her lady on a date and vents about her dad’s bisexual erasure, and VPR’s own Allyn Lewber plays a rindom acoustic set. Grace Lily, back in her tarot bag, comes face-to-face with Maddi and Joe Bradley for the first time since PajamaGate; Maddi calls Grace out for her troubling be shoot and Grace shows her grasp on sobriety is very much wavy.

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Lara and Carey hoof it over the hill to check in with the dregs of The Valley once more, but first, they discuss Ciara Miller needing to avoid the urge to go on Threads, West having to apologize to Jenn Fessler’s family, and a Ryan Lochte jumpscare like no other.

Back on The Valley, the San Diego Horror continues, as the crew takes to the pier for a sports bar dinner: Danny “Glug Glug” goes shot for shot with Schwartz and goes into a place of Startin’, Lacy and Jinet try to hash it out and Doute Irish exits, annoyed with Luke and her third adult diaper change of the day. The drama continues back at the Airbnb, as Lacy and Michelle face-off in the kitchen and Jinet does chair comedy. The next day, the group goes on safari as Danny’s drunken antics continue to make Nia’s life hell and everyone else uncomfortable. When the ladies prepare their men for Nia’s drag show beauty pageant, Danny’s blackout draws the ire of Lala, who’s had enough of his fuckery.

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Lara and Carey discuss Dorit and PK’s seismic debt, RHOBH’s renaissance, Amanda Frances’s chilling ascent, Rachel Zoe’s cultural impact, Kyle’s internal world, Sutton’s Southern gothic repression and more. 

On Southern Hospitality, the crew continues their Punta Cana sabbatical, as Emmy’s demonic possession nears completion. Everyone (minus Emmy) heads off to a nightclub, and the next morning at breakfast, Lake and Molly try to work out their beef as Emmy’s repellent aura forces a safe word invention to mitigate discomfort from the rest of the group. Maddi and Joe talk babies, the group eats dinner on a crane 150 feet above a parking lot, Julia makes a surprise appearance (much to Emmy’s fury), TJ and Michols discuss the will they/won’t they nature of their friendship, Michols gives half the group a tour of his grandmother’s favorite church, and Carey and Lara try (and fail) to remember everyone’s last names.

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Lara and Carey discuss hantavirus woes, the Ladies of London tragedy, Kris Jenner Ozempic “truth,” and more.

Back on The Valley, Brittany, Zack, Jinet and Jason meet Schwartz’s gorgeous and shockingly formidable new legitimate model gf during a cursed TomTom brunch. Lacy, Doute and Nia hunt for costumes as Lacy reveals her (unsurprising) nemesis in the group. Hint: it’s not Michelle and she’s rindom!

The group then catches a ride of the terror train down to San Diego for their big group trip; Zack and Jinet cozy up, much to the dismay of Doute, who takes to the floor of the train to guzzle vino and stew. The cast divides into different houses on the SD compound as Danny — temporarily deprived of glug-glug— begins to terrorize Nia over being asked to help her with the baby; everyone heads to an amusement park where Doute’s postpartum body hell continues and Nia disassociates from the hell of get marriage. Tom Schwartz revels in the joy of new love to the girls; Lala and Michelle share a tender trauma bond on the beach at sunset.

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Lara and Carey discuss Lisa Barlow’s genetic proof of gay icon and Gizelle from Real Housewives of Potomac and Angelina Jolie uniting over the power of sorority.

Back on SoHo, Joe Bradley continues his flop tour by throwing Maddi a surprise pirate-themed booze cruise for her birthday; her being 11 years sober, not liking surprises and wanting a private celebration be damned! Lily Grace returns from her ketamine fog to ask Leva for a second chance at Republic. Then the crew heads to the Dominican Republic for a DJ Maddi hotel gig. Michols, excited to share his heritage with his friends and visit with his grandmother, stonewalls Emmy, whose micro aggressions have turned macro. After yet another painful defense of her insane and dangerous behavior, lawyer wife psychosis pushes her enters into a place of truck stop comedy at the dinner table, frightening everyone else in the process.  

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Lara and Carey discuss their legendary episode of The Ultimate Spend, Carey’s inner auctioneer, even newer Summer House reunion audio leaks, a terrifying development in West’s personal life, the unfortunate truth about dumb dick and how not even someone as formidable as Ciara is immune. Plus the real “Emily” from Devil Wears Prada breaks her silence and why Widow’s Bay is serving.

Back on The Valley, Larz and Carz brave the urge to jump ship after being torpedoed by the boringness of this show, but choose to go sink with the boat as all good captains must do. Hetero Hell is truly errands in The Valley. Michelle reveals her past as a gymnast and some sad things about her dad; Doute, Zack and Britt get waxed and bronzed in anticipation of their California Board of Tourism-sanctioned trip to San Diego. Lala checks in on Janet’s mental health at pilates, as nearly the entire group is currently in Rindom Psychosis about Mrs. Caperna. Lacy reveals her doomsday bunker without disclosing its location, Janet hosts a game night at a barcade with Ms. Lips, and Brittany invites the crew over for another cursed pool party at her place. Danny revels in Reign of Terror campaign against Jinet, who tries to mend things with Zack, who tries to mediate Luke about Doute, who then smokes a magnanimous bowl with Jinet, part of her diabolical plan to regain control over this snooze fest of a group.

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Lara and Carey discuss the Michael Jackson harrowing biopic’s grip over LA, Mia from SoHo dropping a West/Amanda bomb on WWHL, Elizabeth Smart’s bodybuilding turn, and more.

On Southern Hospitality, Joe Bradley’s 30th Emo Bash is finally here, and Charleston’s greatest fail-son comes crawling back to Maddi for forgiveness. TJ joins Michols for a whirlwind work trip in NYC, where Michols takes model meetings and becomes the face of Men’s Warehouse. Julia catches wind of a new lie Emmy is telling about Brad which ups “Unsafe Gate” into new levels of adderall-tinged racism. At Joe’s party, the crew has varying degrees of accurate with their emo representations; Lake debuts her lady friend and has one too many Four Lokos, prompting an ill-advised confrontation with Mia. Julia calls out Emmy — inexplicably channeling Britney Spears in “Hit Me Baby”— who, in turn, nearly self-combusts.

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Lara and Carey are back to discuss Mx. Sweeney’s cut from The Devil Wears Prada 2, the cosmic rindomness of Euphoria season 3, Snooki’s cancer diagnosis, Kendall Jenner and Elordi’s boring hot union and more.

Then on The Valley, Doute’s postpartum goes to DEFCON ONE on girls night with Brit and Jasmine. Brittany spills the beans about her newly minted relationship with Brandon and Danny slaps on a breastfeeding device for men, driving Nia further into psychosis. Schwartz, Jason and Jesse get pedicures and flirt with the receptionist at the salon. The boys gather at a cigar bar to broker peace between Danny and Jason. Schwartz, Lala, Michelle head to the infamous Belmont for a singles night; Michelle and Lala concoct a scheme to book Schwartz up with Michelle’s friend Natalie, but the receptionist from the pedicure place shows up with other plans for Mister Tilapia. Luke and Doute’s date night at the bar goes south fast when Kristen drags Luke for drunken couch sleeping and flopbeat dad territory.

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Lara and Carey head on down the crown jewel of the South once more, and King Street has never been busier… or more annoying. Maddi and Joe Bradley’s Cold War continues, as Maddi’s chats with both Leva Bonaparte and her top bun sponsor point her in the dump the flop direction. Meanwhile TJ teaches Joe the Gay Way aka Botox and Michols despairs over his mom’s lack of support as he shoots his big So Gay cover. After a rainy Second Sunday shilling TJ’s world famous weenies, the ladies go The Lottery on Mia over her recent date and hookup with Justin. Lake, possessed by the mob, leads the charge against Mia in the same of rindom Jordyn, all about chasing Mia out of her depressing Paint and Sip ladies night.  

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Lara and Carey discuss Clavicular’s live-streamed overdose, his tragic beauty and methification, and why sober gays in West Hollywood could save him. They also talk Lena Dunham’s new memoir, the “Love Trapped” podcast, Alix Earle and Alex Cooper feud gaining a one Brianna “Chickenfry” LaPaglia and more.

Then on The Valley, Britt continues her sparkle venture with a boob reduction consolation and further plans for a Mommy Makeover with Big Mama Doute in tow. Luke and Jason meet for coffee as Luke lambasts Jason’s choice words for Danny as the girls (minus Rindom Jinet) head out into the dregs of Hollywood for a Y2K Ladies Night. Jasmine gets into it with Lala and Michelle get into it and Nia breastfeeds in a party bus. Brandon enters frame and takes Brittany out for a date noight, asking to make their relationship official over what else but SHAWTS. Then Danny and Nia host a cowboy party in Santa Clarita, where Glug Glug reverts to cowboy mode, driving Nia further into madness. Brandon inserts himself into the Lala/Michelle/Jasmine drama, giving shades of Jax; Schwartz transforms into Jim Jones.  

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Lara and Carey head on out to King’s Street to check in with our favorite psychos in Charleston. But first they discuss Caitlyn Jenner seeking half a mill from her late BFF Sophia, ATVing into the abyss, and Caitlyn’s American tragedy.

On Southern Hospitality, the tube day ends with an overalls and steak fest at the house. Lake and Michols hash it out over Lake’s faux pas, Emmy tries and fails to smooth things with Brad and reports to white woman on the verge once more, Justin and Mia smooch, and TJ and Michols bang it out to RHOSLC. Back at home, Maddi reaches a breaking point with Joe Bradley’s flop ways, proposing a relationship hiatus if he can’t get his partying under control. With his Emo 30th extravaganza on the horizon, Joe doesn’t take it well.  

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Lara and Carey return to the San Fernando Valley for more glimpses into the abyss, but first they discuss the possibility of Devil Wears Prada 2 being iconic, the rindom new Vogue cover featuring Meryl Streep and Anna Wintour, new details about Lacy from The Valley’s kidnapping, typhus in LA, Natasha Lyonne’s Delta incident, awkwardness on The Euphoria red carpet and more.

On The Valley, Larz and Carz wonder if that’s all there is? Who are these people, really? Who is Schwartz? Who is Lala? Jasmine? Michelle? None of these people really make sense, which is fitting for a time that doesn’t make sense. But still… we soldier through. Zack is forced on more bro dates, this time with Glug Glug Danny to the vasectomy doctor to get his balls inspected, and forced to be the voice of reason, this time questioning Brittany’s burgeoning flop relationship with Brandon. Doute and Luke finally fuck and Schwartz and Michelle do a salt room soundbars date and talk about sad things; Lacy demonstrates her total domination over Jesse. Lala invites everyone and their babies over for yet another sip-and-see for her baby, as Janet begins a humiliation tour of apologizing to everyone, including Jasmine and Nia, and getting nothing in return. Back in the Santa Clarita Horror, Danny pitches more sex with Nia, who — hovering somewhere above her body — contemplates how long she has before she runs away and starts a new life.

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Lara and Carey return to Charleston to check in with our favorite staff at Republic. But first, they discuss Jen Shah’s first post-prison interview with PEOPLE, her close friendship with Elizabeth “Lizzie” Holmes, their bonding of poop duty, not fucking with Ghislaine and more.

Back on Soho, Joe Bradley prepares for his emo night themed 30th birthday bash, as foot model TJ and Maddi plan for a river getaway at a rindom Airbnb in the woods. Emmy — in a place of quasi-denial — tries and fails to make up with Brad, entering a place of full, categorical denial over her micro-aggression. At the gator-riddled river, Justin admits to drinking piss for cash, Joe and Maddi’s relationship enters the next phase of bed death, Molly continues her MVP streak, and Michols gives Lake the cold shoulder over inadvertently blabbing to Emmy. Pushed to the brink by the loss of her gay, Lake reverts to Dune cosplay and calling her mom, who offers no sympathy.  

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Lara and Carey return to the San Fernando to burn in the blinding light of Brittany’s sparkle, but first they discuss 2026’s (paltry) answer to Scandoval: Amanda and West’s shuncking affair. They enlist one Dorothy O’Donnell to weigh in on the drama and then discuss what Ciara’s next steps should be, America holding Amanda Batula more accountable than the people in the Epstein files, and why Kyle deserves no grace.

Then on the season premiere of ‘The Valley,’ our favorite residents of Hetero Hell check in for another round, this time without Jax. Brittany continues to get her sparkle back with a new rebound man and entering a place of sitcom character psychosis. Mother Doute enters her own post-pregnancy malaise as Luke laments their lack of intimacy as his plans for a future militia are put on hold. Michelle and Jesse continue their non-divorce psychosexual cat and mouse game; Jasmine and her fiancée plan their wedding and Rindom Janet reels from being yelled at by Doute with a baby on her hip. Zack catches up with Tilapia Schwartz who’s in a true Backrooms-style maze of flop as Lala wonders if Luke was her sperm donor. Danny and Nia’s Santa Clarita Horror is complete as they plan for Nia’s co-Sip and See for baby #4 and Doute’s baby Kaia. Any baby-serene at the party is squashed by the arrival of Jesse’s OC girlfriend Lacy, who confronts Michelle with California cheer and barely contained menace. We are so back.

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Lara and Carey return to push through the dog days of Q1. They discuss Shia’s latest terrorism in New Orleans, Chappell Roan’s bearish bodyguard breaking his silence, Melania’s rindom catwalk with a thigh gap robot, Lindy West’s polyamorous Hell continuing on, Taylor Frankie Paul still getting her Bachelorette salary, United Airlines throwing us peasants a bone, and more.

On the latest Southern Hospitality, Grace Lily is thrown out of Gays and Girls Night at Molly’s after heckling Maddi and pegging accusations; she later meets a sober coach to discuss treatment for a Wavy Baby Ketamine addiction. Lake discusses her father quasi-disowning her after she came out as bisexual and feeling singled out by Brad over Emmy Gate. Brad throws a party to celebrate his burgeoning fitness empire and Emmy tries to explain her definition of micro-aggression.

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Lara and Carey talk climate change heat woes in Los Angeles, seeking safety in the Blue Zones, Clavicular’s magnum opus streaming clip, needing Clav to come out, the Dune Part Three trailer, harrowing lighting at the Vanity Fair Oscars party, and more.

On Southern Hospitality, Emmy is confronted again for her micro aggression towards Brad as TJ and Molly chime in with their own grievances with She Hulk. Emmy wins everyone back, for now, by breaking her two year sobriety streak. Out on the town, TJ and Michols make out and Justin sucks Mia’s belly button in the most seismically bisexual-adjacent manner. At work the next day, Joe Bradley resurrects his “Joey Bottles,” Emmy pretends to be good with everyone again, and Molly throws a Gays and Girls pajama party (minus Emmy). A belligerent Grace Lilly wages war against Maddi, claiming she knows a secret that could change everything.

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Lara and Carey return to the swampy source for another recap of Southern Hospitality. But first they talk the new historic Devil Wears Prada 2 purse popcorn bucket at AMC, another win for NBC Universal after Kelley and Scott Wolfe reunited at Universal Studios Hollywood, and a deep dive into the first two episodes of Ladies of London: The New Reign.

Then on Southern Hospitality, Maddi’s new- brawl with TJ is quelled by making shaky peace with Brad, who reveals the real, shocking reason he’s fallen out with Emmy. TJ enters new straight guy psychosis after falling under the slutty spell of new guy and resident fuccboi Justin. Joe Bradley botched an attempt at pitching himself to Leva to invest in a new bar and Queen Mia returns from Hawaii, down a boyfriend but up in dignity. Then, at Brad and Julia’s anniversary party, Maddi and Mia get into it over a cutout vandalism and group chat denials. Emmy does wall sits out back, preparing for her big exit from the party on next week’s episode…

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Lara and Carey say goodbye to the Vanderpump Rules reboot (for now!) with another LIVE recap — complete with live chat questions and concerns. But first they discuss the (allegedly) violence-loving head chef of Noma, a VPR alum rubbing elbows with Trump, Bill Gates and Sam Altman, and Mickey Rourke’s eviction during Oscars week.

Then, Larz and Carz break down the second half of the VPR season 12 reunion: Marcus and Shayne recount their roommate era and Shayne’s sage-like Tinseltown wisdom. Shayne gets misty eyed over his harrowing past as Nana Pump locks in on him as her new favorite wounded bird. Shayne and Natalie’s endearingly dysfunctional situationship is explored, Angelica and Audrey try to move past Roast Gate as the Hole Cousins explain their controversial rub down video, and Lara takes a stand against the bait and switch industry at large. Marcus and Kim consider parenthood; Angelica defends her George Glass mystery boyfriend “LAX Guy” and her shocking baby pact with Shayne is revealed; Venus shocks everyone with a threesome story.

Au revoir for now to The Fart Palace (SUR)!

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Lara and Carey return to talk Bella Hadid’s new crisis bob, finding Ryan Murphy around every corner, Nostradamus inserting himself into the drama once more, Nicole Kidman learning how to remove organs in an autopsy and her incandescent (and confounding!) chemistry with Jimmy Fallon, Bethenny’s terrifying iced coffee, grey kitchen, and her explanation for not being in “The Golden Life” and more.

Then, Larz and Carz head south by way of Charleston to check in with the staff of Republic on season 4 of “Southern Hospitality.” DJ Maddi comes back to C-Town after her legendary DJ tour and immediately finds herself in hetero hell with Joe Bradley. Michols reels from his friendship breakup with Molly and TJ and Brad find themselves on the outs with not only Emmy and Will but Maddi herself. Emmy —committed to her chilling destiny of becoming a lawyer’s wife — continues her She Hulk transformation, as her nuptials with Will loom. In the process, she pulls a susceptible Maddi into folie à deux against TJ, Brad, and the rest of the world. Plus! Grace Lily becomes a literal soothsayer.  

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Lara and Carey follow up their iconic live watch-along with a recap after dark — SUP edition. With the livestream still going, Lara and Carey answer questions from the chat about part one of the Vanderpump Rules reboot reunion.

Nana Pump takes center stage alongside Andy, as they go back to basics, with a reunion at the fart palace itself, SUR Restaurant. Android Angelica and Audrey have a busty stand-off while Venus channels his best Vampire Lestat. Natalie and Kim get right into over Kim’s still simmering rage at Natalie over her boundary-free style of digital communication with Marcus Chris and Audrey close the casket on their fake relationship as Demy just how close she was with the mysterious Paolo, Natalie’s one-time paramour. Venus mourns the loss of his emotional thirding with Kim and Marcus, and explains his celibacy with a portrait of his harrowing pre-VPR romance patterns; Lisa asks Venus a strangely homophobic question. Jason and Angelica debate her alleged back injury as Shayne dissociates further into the hot guy nebula. Lara and Carey also debate who —if any — should be trimmed from the already confirmed thirteenth season, and how the show can improve the promising reboot foundation laid.

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Lara and Carey reunite in the SUP stu post-Carey’s Atlanta adventure. They discuss Rinna disclosing the fent/meth combo found in her system post-drugging at The Abbey, Mark Zuckerberg front row at Prada and the continued slopification of tech and fashion, Shia LaBeouf released on $100K bail, Ghislaine’s nasty prison BO, and more.

On the season finale of VPR, the crew gears up for Pride at SUR, with Venus at the helm. Audrey and Chris discuss their near-future with Chris’s upcoming fck-cations posing a threat to their budding romance. Marcus and Shayne get their SLAA on at the music store as Angelica continues to reel from her trauma over Audrey’s roast. Finally, Pride comes to WeHo once more, and Lisa “Mama Pump” Vanderpump reminds us of the meaning of the big day… her making money. Venus shows off his hideous decoration, Natalie performs her rindom song, Chris and Jason go-go dance, Audrey dumps Chris, Angelica confronts Audrey and recommits to Shayne — fake news George Glass boyfriend be damned. Then the entire group carries out a philosophical debate on the true meaning of comedy.

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