Explore every episode of the podcast Sex Within Marriage Podcast : Exploring Married Sexuality from a Christian Perspective
| Title | Pub. Date | Duration | |
|---|---|---|---|
| SWM 146 – Legalistic vs Loving Approach to Marriage – Shifting from Rules to Relationship | 24 Jan 2025 | 00:12:32 | |
SWM 146 - Legalistic vs Loving Approach to Marriage - Shifting from Rules to Relationship. Check out the blog post here for more details and links. In my work as a marriage coach, I often see couples transition from one type of marriage to another. There’s no clear line between these states, no set of rules that definitively places someone in one category or the other. Yet, by observing how they handle conflict, express themselves, and interact in small ways, you can often tell which state their marriage is in. A big part of my job as a coach is helping people shift from one type of marriage to another as most issues in marriage are resolved by doing so. Follow us on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter If you'd like to discuss the questions as they come in, consider joining our private forum. Thank you to all our faithful supporters! If you like that there are no ads in our podcast and want to keep it that way, check out our support page for more info. Even $5/month makes a difference. Lastly, if you like our podcast, please rate it as it helps others know this is a good resource to help with their marriage. You managed to find us, help someone else do the same and receive the same benefits to their relationship. | |||
| SWM 145 – AQ – Handjobs, sex on a full stomach, routines, sex tapes and more | 05 Jan 2025 | 00:15:22 | |
Oct, Nov, Dec 2024 Questions from our anonymous Have A Question page. Check out the show notes here for more details and links. In this episode, we are tackling the subjects:
Here are the links I mentioned during the podcast:
Follow us on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter If you'd like to discuss the questions as they come in, consider joining our private forum. Thank you to all our faithful champions! If you'd like to support our ministry and see it grow, check out our support page for more info. Even $5/month makes a difference! Lastly, if you like our podcast, click here to give us a rating, and leave us a review. They help others know this is a good resource to help with their marriage. You managed to find us, help someone else do the same and receive the same benefits to their relationship. | |||
| SWM 136 – AQ – Wife is mean to kids, another can’t decide if she loves him, and careful who you let teach | 27 Jul 2024 | 00:09:30 | |
June 2024 Questions from our anonymous Have A Question page. Check out the show notes here for more details and links. In this episode, we are tackling the subjects:
Here are the links I mentioned during the podcast: Follow us on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter If you'd like to discuss the questions as they come in, consider joining our private forum. Thank you to all our faithful champions! If you'd like to support our ministry and see it grow, check out our support page for more info. Even $5/month makes a difference! Lastly, if you like our podcast, click here to give us a rating, and leave us a review. They help others know this is a good resource to help with their marriage. You managed to find us, help someone else do the same and receive the same benefits to their relationship. | |||
| SWM 046 – Responsive desire is a blessing | 06 Sep 2019 | ||
| SWM 045 – Anonymous Questions from May and June 2019 | 19 Aug 2019 | 00:34:09 | |
July and August 2019 Questions from our anonymous Have A Question page. Check out the show notes here for more details and links. In this episode, we're tackling the subjects:
Here are the links I mentioned during the podcast:
Follow us on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter If you'd like to discuss the questions as they come in, consider joining our private forum. We lost a few supporters over the slow summer and due to fincial setbacks from a couple of our supporters, but we're gaining traction again. We're 81% of the way to our next goal - weekly podcast episodes! If you'd like weekly podcasts, check out our support page for more info. Even $5/month makes a difference. ";s:7:"gp_desc";s:2450:"July and August 2019 Questions from our anonymous Have A Question page. Check out the show notes here for more details and links. In this episode, we're tackling the subjects:
Here are the links I mentioned during the podcast: | |||
| SWM 044 – Anonymous Questions from February and March 2019 | 09 Jun 2019 | 00:42:07 | |
| SWM 043 – Anonymous Questions from April 2019 | 26 May 2019 | 00:38:22 | |
| SWM042 – God will never leave you | 21 Apr 2019 | 00:32:54 | |
This is a sermon I wrote and preached in my home church on Matthew 19:1-11 - Jesus responding to the Pharisees asking about divorce. Check out the video here: https://youtu.be/XZCdnDSKO4U Get the show notes / text of the sermon here: https://www.uncoveringintimacy.com/swm042-god-will-never-leave-you/ | |||
| SWM041 – How do you stay interested long term? | 14 Apr 2019 | ||
| SWM 040 – What happens to our souls when we have sex? | 07 Apr 2019 | 00:22:51 | |
| SWM 039 – Anonymous Questions from January 2019 – Part 3 | 31 Mar 2019 | 00:42:34 | |
| SWM 038 – Anonymous Questions January 2019 – Part 2 | 12 Mar 2019 | 00:28:53 | |
| SWM 037 – Anonymous Questions from January 2019 – Part 1 | 01 Mar 2019 | ||
| SWM 135 – It’s good to try new things | 19 Jul 2024 | 00:16:43 | |
SWM 135 - It's good to try new things. Check out the blog post here for more details and links. Most kids, when growing up, enter a picky stage at some point. Some when they’re toddlers, some when they’re young children, some when they become teenagers. When our 3rd or 4th kid entered this phase, everyone knew the response when they didn’t want to eat something new that we’d made. “It’s good to try new things.” They didn’t have to eat it all but had to try it—a decent try, not a touch to the tongue followed by an exaggerated exclamation of disgust. Teaching children to at least give something new a fair shot, I think, has applications later on in life as well. I often talk to husbands and wives whose spouses simply will not try anything new in the bedroom. One will bring up an idea, and it’s immediately shot down by the “picky” spouse—the one who is perfectly happy with the flavour of vanilla every night. Today, I want to talk about why I think it’s good to try new things - not only when it comes to food, but also in the bedroom - or outside of the bedroom, depending on how much privacy you have. We’re going to talk about the interplay between dopamine, controlled risk-taking, adventure and trust in marriages as it pertains to sex and more. Don't forget to participate in our BDSM survey - whether you engage in that sort of behaviour or not. Follow us on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter If you'd like to discuss the questions as they come in, consider joining our private forum. Thank you to all our faithful supporters! If you like that there are no ads in our podcast and want to keep it that way, check out our support page for more info. Even $5/month makes a difference. Lastly, if you like our podcast, please rate it as it helps others know this is a good resource to help with their marriage. You managed to find us, help someone else do the same and receive the same benefits to their relationship. | |||
| SWM036 – Sexy Memory Foreplay Game | 12 Feb 2019 | ||
| SWM035 – Anonymous Questions from December 2018 | 15 Jan 2019 | 01:01:28 | |
This podcast episode, I'm catching up on some listener's questions that I got back in 2018. You can find the complete questions and answers at https://www.uncoveringintimacy.com/anonymous-questions-from-december-2018/ Topics include:
If you have a question you'd like to have answered, check out our Have A Question page at UncoveringIntimacy.com Find us on Or subscribe to our newsletter to get all the info. ";s:7:"gp_desc";s:1615:" This podcast episode, I'm catching up on some listener's questions that I got back in 2018. You can find the complete questions and answers at https://www.uncoveringintimacy.com/anonymous-questions-from-december-2018/ Topics include:
If you have a question you'd like to have answered, check out our Have A Question page at UncoveringIntimacy.com Find us on Or subscribe to our newsletter to get all the info. | |||
| SWM034 – Limited Time offer – Intimacy Advent Calendar | 30 Nov 2018 | 00:07:24 | |
This is just a quick podcast episode to let my listeners know about our Intimacy Advent Calendar currently for sale in our shop. You remember having advent calendars as a kid? Every day you get a chocolate, or a toy or something. For nearly a whole month, every day there was something exciting to look forward to the next day. Holidays don’t exactly feel that way for us adults anymore do they? Well, I wanted to try and recapture that feeling. At the same time, I know many couples struggle to maintain intimacy during the holidays. Not just physical intimacy (but that too), but it’s also a high-point for arguments and blow-outs. So, I wanted to make something that encouraged us to draw together during this season. So, I put together an Advent Calendar for couples. It took me a while to figure out how to manage things like visitations, big dinners, people’s differing boundaries and comfort levels around certain sexual activities, travel, and even periods. But, I think I found a fairly elegant solution. Check out the product here for more info: https://www.uncoveringintimacy.com/shop/intimacy-advent-calendar/ Only available until Dec 2. | |||
| SWM033 – Sermon – Sex: An uncomfortable topic we need to discuss | 20 Jun 2018 | 00:43:48 | |
This is the audio recording of the sermon I preached in my home church about sex. You can get the full transcript on the website. Want more podcast episodes? Support us on Patreon and also get access to our supporter community. | |||
| SWM032 – Is oral sex unsanitary? | 23 May 2018 | 00:16:26 | |
Today I'm talking about oral sex and whether or not it's sanitary. Want more podcast episodes? Support us on Patreon and also get access to our supporter community. | |||
| SWM031 – How to help your husband be more assertive in bed | 18 Apr 2018 | 00:23:56 | |
I have a lot of wives coming to me asking how to get their husband to be more assertive in bed. The problem is, our society and culture have taught men to be more submissive, and take a back seat with regard to sex. We're either explicitly or implicitly taught that we should let the woman lead in the physical relationship. The problem is that many married women don't want that. They want a husband who is assertive and confident, not waiting for his wife to make the first move and anxious. So, this podcast is about how to help your husband to be more assertive in the bedroom, because while I can tell men all day to be more confident, the truth is, a lot of it has to do with how his wife responds. Want more podcast episodes? Support us on Patreon and also get access to our supporter community. | |||
| SWM030 – Credentials, sex and sickness, falling out of love, self control and how to start leading | 01 Apr 2017 | 00:27:15 | |
Today I'm answering some more questions from our Have A Question page that have come in over the last month or so. This episode I talk about my credentials, dealing with sex drive and long-term illness, falling out of love, self-control and how to start leading when you haven't been. Want more podcast episodes? Support us on Patreon and also get access to our supporter community. | |||
| SWM029 – Fantasy affairs, anal sex, golden showers and work during sex | 25 Mar 2017 | 00:29:43 | |
This episode, I'm answering anonymous questions we've received about fantasy affairs, anal sex, golden showers, work during sex and low drives. Want more podcast episodes? Support us on Patreon and also get access to our supporter community. | |||
| SWM028 – Answering questions about oral sex before marriage, joint bank accounts, toys, dirty talking and grooming | 18 Mar 2017 | 00:17:26 | |
I'm changing up the format of the podcast a bit this week and answering some reader questions. | |||
| Still looking for the perfect Valentine’s Gift? | 12 Feb 2017 | 00:04:00 | |
Looking for the perfect Valentine's Day gift that will continue to around for years to come? Something that's sexy without being sexual? Check out Melt. | |||
| SWM 134 – AQ – Piercings, how not to start a fight, nude photos, nude beaches and more | 12 Jul 2024 | 00:34:34 | |
May 2024 Questions from our anonymous Have A Question page. Check out the show notes here for more details and links. In this episode, we are tackling the subjects:
Here are the links I mentioned during the podcast: Follow us on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter If you'd like to discuss the questions as they come in, consider joining our private forum. Thank you to all our faithful champions! If you'd like to support our ministry and see it grow, check out our support page for more info. Even $5/month makes a difference! Lastly, if you like our podcast, click here to give us a rating, and leave us a review. They help others know this is a good resource to help with their marriage. You managed to find us, help someone else do the same and receive the same benefits to their relationship. | |||
| SWM026: Last Minute Father’s Day Gift Ideas | 17 Jun 2016 | 00:09:01 | |
Father's Day is this Sunday, and I thought we'd share some last-minute Father's Day gifts for those wives who listen to the podcast. We've got some free options, some not-so-free options and some options that are a bit of an investment, but all of them you can manage to pull off even the day before Father's Day. | |||
| SWM025: Preparing for Mother’s Day | 06 May 2016 | 00:09:46 | |
Mother's Day is coming up this Sunday, so thought I'd talk briefly about why father's should celebrate Mother's Day in honour of their wives. And today, my wife, Christina, has made the time to join me on this episode. Sort of to make up for the ones I missed recently. So, here we go. | |||
| SWM024: Why Do Men Think Sex is a Reward? | 13 Apr 2016 | 00:12:17 | |
Often men see sex as a reward, even when it's not intended for one. Conversely, if they don't have sex, sometimes they feel punished, or that they failed at something. Why is this? I think there are three reasons: Hormones - specifically dopamine, the "reward" hormone. Society - We're taught that sex = winning Sex is a big part of being male | |||
| SWM023: It’s all about the relationship | 06 Apr 2016 | 00:18:22 | |
The Bible uses marriage as a metaphor for God's relationship with us many times. I think there's a good reason for it. In this podcast episode, I discuss my belief that all the do's and don'ts, both in marriage, and in the Bible, point to one thing: the relationship. Not that the rules are unimportant, or are not valuable, but that the underlying relationship is far more so. In fact, if we focus on the relationship, on our love for the other person, then all the rules, the guidelines, the do's and don'ts, will happen all on their own. | |||
| SWM022: Does my spouse find me unattractive | 30 Mar 2016 | 00:12:38 | |
A couple of years ago I got a message from a reader who was beside herself with unfounded fears that her husband was no longer attracted to her. She hadn't asked him. She had no indication that he wasn't, but she had this deep seated fear that he wasn't. So, I ran a survey, asking spouses about their attraction to their husband or wife. And today I thought I'd share some of results with you, to help anyone else who has the same fears. | |||
| SWM021: Spice Jar | 23 Mar 2016 | 00:04:43 | |
I didn't have much time this week to record, so this is a very short podcast episode to let you know about our marriage challenge this week to help you break out of a sexual rut, as well as our new product: The Spice Jar - A printable game to help you change things up in the bedroom tonight. | |||
| SWM020: 7 Dirty Fighting Techniques That Should Not Exist In Your Marriage | 16 Mar 2016 | 00:14:02 | |
I once heard it said that the definition of conflict is two people in the same ZIP code. Well, in marriage the people are a lot closer than that, and this inevitably spawns conflict. Now, conflict isn't bad, in fact, it can be good and healthy. Conflict forces us to grow, to see another person's perspective, to seek unselfish solutions. But, if conflict is dealt with in an unhealthy manner, then it can be damaging. Today I'm going to share with you 7 damaging conflict behaviours that you might recognize in your marriage. If any of these ring a bell, you need to start working to rid yourself of them in your relationship. | |||
| SWM019: How long does a sexual awakening take? | 09 Mar 2016 | 00:10:27 | |
Sexual awakenings are a point where a low-drive, gatekeeper or refusing spouse suddenly realizes that sex is important to the marriage, and that their behaviour needs to change. However, just because there is often a single instant where this realization becomes clear, it can take time, sometimes years or decades, to actually change their behaviour. | |||
| SWM018: Judaism had it right all along | 02 Mar 2016 | 00:18:16 | |
Let's face it, Christianity is not the perfect religion we like to make it out to be. At least, not the way we imperfect humans play it out in our lives. And one area of life that we've really made a mess of over the centuries is sexuality. In this facet of life, Judaism seems to have gotten it right, and I think we should have paid more attention to them. | |||
| SWM017: 8 Things I don’t want to admit as a Christian Marriage Podcaster | 24 Feb 2016 | 00:30:15 | |
A few years ago, I wrote a post called 16 Confessions of a Marriage Sex Blogger. In it I shared a bunch of things that I thought might be interesting to people, to sort of help my community get to know me a bit more. Today I'm going to take a slightly different direction and share with you 8 things that I don't want to admit as a Christian Marriage Podcaster. While these might help you get to know me more, I'm also wanting to show you how to be transparent, to show you that it's okay to share potentially embarrassing things. If I can share these with you, then surely you can share even deeper things with your spouse. So, here we go. | |||
| SWM 133 – Loving your spouse where they are | 31 May 2024 | 00:10:27 | |
SWM 133 - Loving your spouse where they are. Check out the blog post here for more details and links. I often give beginner homework to my coaching clients. A few of them will likely read this and think, “He was talking about me.” You’re not wrong, but you’re also not alone. I give it out frequently because it helps combat some fundamental problems I see in many marriages: resentment, unmet expectations, and continued disappointment. Whatever caused the resentment doesn’t matter. If you want to improve the marriage, you must get rid of that attitude first. Resentment leads to contempt, and once you hit that point, the marriage is on life support, and it becomes challenging to resurrect. Some come to coaching and realize that they have this issue. They recognize that resentment is an attitude, and attitudes can be changed. They know they can fix it; they just don’t know how or need some support, some accountability, or encouragement to keep up the hard work of changing that mindset. And it is hard work. Reversing that mindset takes time, effort, and consistently following the plan we co-create. There are ups and downs, backslides, and sidetracks. But if they put in the work, then it does happen. Then the fun begins because now we can make some real progress. Others come to coaching convinced their spouse is the issue and work hard to rationalize and justify their attitude toward them. They want me to change their spouse so that they can be happy. Sometimes, they have one foot out the door already, and this is the last-ditch effort to “save the marriage,” by which they mean that if I don’t fix their spouse, they will divorce them. Whatever type they are, they get the same homework. It’s not only the first step to reversing the mindset but also a test to see if they’re coachable. Listen to find out what the homework is. Follow us on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter If you'd like to discuss the questions as they come in, consider joining our private forum. Thank you to all our faithful supporters! If you like that there are no ads in our podcast and want to keep it that way, check out our support page for more info. Even $5/month makes a difference. Lastly, if you like our podcast, please rate it as it helps others know this is a good resource to help with their marriage. You managed to find us, help someone else do the same and receive the same benefits to their relationship. | |||
| SWM016: What being the head of the household means to me | 17 Feb 2016 | 00:17:07 | |
These days, standing up and saying that your the head of your household can be a bit dangerous for men. With gender equality so strong in our society, the idea of gender roles is often scoffed at, looked own upon. I've heard many people say that patriarchy is just an excuse for men to do what they want, when they want. I don't see it that way. Here's what being the head of the household means to me. | |||
| SWM015: Valentine’s Day Dangers | 10 Feb 2016 | 00:11:40 | |
Valentine's day is just around the corner. Only a few days left in fact. If that started to make you sweat, well, I feel for you. Valentine's Day, I think, is potentially one of the most dangerous days of the year for married couples. I'll explain what I mean, and then give a couple tips for how to survive it. | |||
| SWM014: Your sex life has far reaching implications | 03 Feb 2016 | 00:18:22 | |
Men are often accused of compartmentalized lives, and for the most part it's true. Most of us can have our work life and our home life and our church life and our sports/hobbies life, and keep them all fairly contained. Women, on the other hand, tend to have one life, and it all mixes together. However, there is one aspect of life that men often find very difficult to compartmentalize: their sex life. | |||
| SWM013: Morning Sex | 27 Jan 2016 | 00:11:53 | |
This week, I'm talking about morning sex, that is sex when you first wake up. Why discuss morning sex? Because there's a lot going on that people don't realize I think. I often get asked "why does my husband want sex in the morning?" and so if you ever had that question, or if you're a husband and are curious why you want sex in the morning, here's your change to find out why. | |||
| SWM012: Why do married men masturbate? | 21 Jan 2016 | 00:17:51 | |
I wrote a post on this topic a few years ago and thought I'd do a podcast version for those who don't read the blog, or are new and aren't aware of my older posts. I believe married men (or women) masturbate for three reasons: Ignorance, Selfishness and/or Addiction. | |||
| SWM011: How to train your spouse | 13 Jan 2016 | 00:15:38 | |
This week we're discussing how you train your spouse. In all human relationships, we teach other's how to interact with us. Sometimes it's positive, sometimes it's not. But, often we don't think about it and then we are surprised by the results of our training. My wife and I trained each other horribly in the years of our marriage and spent years undoing those bad teachings. But, you can't start unless you understand what's going on. | |||
| SWM010: All you want is sex | 06 Jan 2016 | 00:14:54 | |
For the first half of our marriage, I heard from my wife many times "All you want is sex", because sex was probably the biggest are of conflict in our marriage. Since then, I've seen it many times in emails and comments from lower drive spouses, or from the high drive spouses complaining about the complaints of their low drive spouse. Some of them are accused of being obsessed with sex, some believe that it's their sinful nature that's causing the desire, some think it's a character deficit to be overcome, and, sadly, I've heard too often from high-drive spouses "I wish God would take this desire away from me". | |||
| SWM009: How to keep spicing up your sex life | 30 Dec 2015 | 00:14:27 | |
Every marriage blog and podcast has a post or an episode telling you how to spice up your sex life, if not dozens of such posts. But, they're usually just short term tricks, something to get you excited for a night or two, but then die off quickly. However, they all have one thing in common, and that, I think, is to the real way to spice up your sex life. So, in this episode, we're going to talk about how to continuously spice up your sex life, to have a longer lasting effect on your marriage. | |||
| SWM008: Dealing with Christmas in Marriage | 23 Dec 2015 | 00:11:53 | |
Well, Christmas is nearly upon us, and every Christmas I know there is a lot of stress and anxiety as well as sometimes difficult living arrangements during the holidays, with family over, or you over at family, so this week we're going to talk about dealing with Christmas in a marriage. | |||
| SWM007: Spiritual Intimacy – Praying with your spouse | 16 Dec 2015 | 00:13:40 | |
Today's episode it about praying with your spouse to increase intimacy in your marriage. Often prayer is a level of intimacy many are scared to step into. But, getting past the initial obstacle means opening up your marriage to a whole new level of intimacy, which can in turn spur other areas of intimacy forward. | |||
| SWM 132 – Breast implants and body image issues | 25 May 2024 | 00:09:59 | |
SWM 132 - Breast implants and body image issues. Check out the blog post here for more details and links. This episode I'm answer a question I received back in February that I forgot to answer. Here's the question: Hi! To start, I just wanted to say thank you so much for what you do! Your podcast has been immensely eye-opening and helpful! Now, to my question. I am in my 30s, and my husband and I have been together for 15 years. There was porn use by my husband that nearly tore us apart, but after therapy, support groups and endless prayer, I am so thankful to say we are stronger than ever, and he has been porn free for over a year now. It has made a profound difference in our sex life, we feel more connected than ever. That being said, internally, I am still struggling with body image issues. It is not all-consuming but it’s enough to bring me to this point. I have been considering breast augmentation for years now but kept putting it on the back burner due to pregnancy and breastfeeding (we have 3 children). I thought I was completely over the idea and just decided to fully accept my body as is until the porn addiction reared its ugly head. As I said, we are past that, and he has made amazing changes for himself and us, but knowing what he watched and the women he chose to view online has made the idea of breast augmentation appealing again. I am not happy with what 6 years of breastfeeding has left me with. My husband says he loves my body the way it is, but I know I would love it MORE if I got the breast augmentation, and undoubtedly, I know he would too, even if he won’t admit it so as not to hurt my feelings. My question is, do you think seeking a breast augmentation for selfish reasons would be sinful? Would God find that to be an abomination of sorts, a sinful act based on my lack of love towards my body? I know I would feel so much more confident. I truly would. And that would enhance our sex life due to my confidence alone. So, would it be a bad thing to do? I have flip-flopped on this for months now. Some days, I am certain it’s a sinful thing to desire and do, and other days, I’m certain that it does not fall in the category of actual sin. An outside perspective would be so helpful, and I’d appreciate it immensely. I know I need to love the body I have, and I do. It’s the slight pains of the past and the desire to feel confident that entices me. Knowing there are verses in the Bible directly telling the man to love his woman’s beautiful breasts makes my heart drop because mine are anything but beautiful. They are used, tired, and barely there after years of sacrificing my body for our children. So, would making them more appealing really be a bad thing? Or would it be no different than purchasing a new sex toy and having fun in the bedroom as husband and wife? Thank you for your time. Follow us on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter If you'd like to discuss the questions as they come in, consider joining our private forum. Thank you to all our faithful supporters! If you like that there are no ads in our podcast and want to keep it that way, check out our support page for more info. Even $5/month makes a difference. Lastly, if you like our podcast, please rate it as it helps others know this is a good resource to help with their marriage. You managed to find us, help someone else do the same and receive the same benefits to their relationship. | |||
| SWM006: The problem with breastfeeding | 09 Dec 2015 | 00:12:53 | |
This week I'm going to be discussing a problem common to many husbands with new babies: the fact that their wife's breasts have been re-purposed. | |||
| SWM005: Why your husband can’t tell you what he needs | 02 Dec 2015 | 00:15:21 | |
In this episode I answer the question "Why can't my husband just tell me what he needs?" It's basically the other side of last week's episode. | |||
| SWM004: Why your wife can’t tell you what she wants | 25 Nov 2015 | 00:15:03 | |
In this episode I answer the question I get from so many husbands: Why can't my wife just tell me what she wants? This used to drive me crazy earlier in my marriage, until I figured out the answer. Now I see it as an opportunity, instead of a frustration. | |||