This audio was recorded in 2006, long before Hijackals became Dr. Shaler's focus.

Rethinking Selfishness: "What if I told you that I now value selfishness? Would that be shocking? Not only do I value it, but I encourage others to value it and practice it."

In this first of our upcoming Legacy Files, Dr. Shaler explores the often misunderstood concept of selfishness and redefines it as a positive force. Throughout our lives, many of us have been taught that being selfish is wrong. However, Dr. Shaler encourages us to reconsider this notion, advocating for a type of selfishness that empowers us to better care for ourselves and, in turn, more genuinely care for others.

She delves into how practicing what she terms "positive selfishness" can actually increase our self-esteem, improve our personal freedom, and enhance our abilities to contribute to the world. In this discussion, we'll unpack the differences between detrimental selfishness and beneficial self-focus, explore the importance of setting boundaries, and debunk the myth that loving oneself is an act of neglect towards others. Join us as we lean into learning how to be positively selfish, and why it is crucial not just for personal happiness, but also for fostering healthier relationships.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We are deeply saddened to share that Dr. Shaler passed away unexpectedly on April 3, 2024.

She left peacefully and without any further discomfort, full of grace. Rhoberta worked hard to maintain her energy to continue offering time and wisdom to clients, members, and strangers alike, who found her voice and demeanor comforting and strengthening as you each faced difficult and overwhelming experiences. 

We know it was very hard for her to let go enough to leave her clients and fans behind, and that serving you all was her greatest joy. 

If you need some time with her, please visit her youtube channel (youtube.com/@forrelationshiphelp) or listen to other episodes in this podcast. There is a wealth more information among all her body of work, that has not yet made it into the world. We will continue to surface this additional material and content from her deep archive to allow her voice and strength to continue helping you all.

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Whether you're looking for a new friend or a potential new relationship, you don't want to be trauma dumping. When you let your whole story fly, someone else is likely to get crushed by it.

Out of the gate, with someone new, it's smart to establish a relationship dynamic based on balance, mutual sharing, and emotional maturity. Oversharing personal traumas can burden the budding relationship and skew its potential for growth.

Whether you're single, dating, or looking to improve your emotional connections, this episode of #saveyoursanitypodcast share strategies and practices you need, to proceed with care and confidence.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

• New Relationships and Emotional Baggage
• Understanding Drama Dumping and Trauma Dumping
• Emotional Health and Relationship Dynamics
• Building Emotional Maturity
• Dating After a Toxic Relationship

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#dramadumping #traumadumping #narcissistsbehaveliketoddlers #traumadumpingredflag #dramadumpingattractcshijackals

#narcissistsbreakpromises #canttrustanarcissist #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist #anri-social

#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

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Narcissistic Hijackals know what you want. Yet, they withhold giving it to you. They know what you need. Yet, they refuse to fulfill it. They know how to make you happy, but prefer disappointing you.

Think deeply about these five "would be good" things narcissists promise but fail to deliver...and, they do it very deliberately. There are real deal-breakers...when you actually see them. Listen in. Don't be fooled by the promises!!!

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

• 5 good things that Hijackals promise you, that they won't deliver on
• Why you need to be VERY clear that you are thinking you are being promised something that you will NEVER receive....except for a hot minute now and again!
• Why mutuality is critical to a loving relationship
• The most unlikely promises that won't be fulfilled....so sad.

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#narcissistsbreakpromises #canrustanarcissist #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist #anri-social

#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Do you allow yourself to acknowledge that you've been traumatized, or may have been? It's an essential beginning step for understanding why you feel a certain way, or have a particularly negative view of yourself. Emotional abuse can definitely create trauma within you. In this episode, you'll hear very specific information about trauma and how the body takes it in.

When you are traumatized, you often have diminished ability to describe the feelings you have in words. You need to be able to do that to recover. Freezing and/or collapsing are ways to protect yourself by shutting down. You need to overcome the overwhelm of that.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

• A definition of trauma and how it feels
• Why you simply stop talking about the trama to suppress it
• How you find yourself outside of the community you need
• Why Hijackals--narcissistic and anti-social folks--need to isolate you

I'm here to help.

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community 

#recognizingtrauma #emotionalabusetrauma #isolatingme #losingmysenseofself #traumaticmemory

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You want to be a good person, a nice person. Your parents probably wanted that for you, too. Yet, you find yourself on the receiving end of emotional abuse, and you don't understand what you did wrong.

Nothing, likely! Hijackals--narcissists, anti-socials, borderlines-histrionics--look for "nice" people who they hope will bend over backwards to do things for them. Especially, they are delighted by enablers who go the extra mile to allow the emotional abuse of Hijackals.No need to wonder about those dynamics as you'll soon see when you listen to this episode.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

• Why caretaking is not always a positive thing
• How you get trapped to continue caretaking a Hijackal
• Recognizing enabling so you can stop doing it
• Escaping the trap of doing for emotional abusers what they can do for themselves

I'm here to help.

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community 

enablingemotionalabuse #enablinghijackals #dontbeanenabler #caretakingisnotalwaysgood #toonice

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You cannot get blood from a stone, and you cannot get emotional intimacy with a Hijackal. Yes, in the beginning of the relationship, they do a good job of imitating a person with whom you could develop that emotionally intimate connection that lasts a lifetime. No, they actually don't have either the capacity or the willingness to do it, though.

Learn to recognize the clear signs of a person who will never let you close, or want to be close with you...because they are too emotionally immature. Sad. True. See these signs early in a relationship to prevent later pain.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

• What emotional maturity looks like in a relationship
• Why you cannot have emotional intimacy with an emotionally immature person
• 11 ways emotional immaturity shows up
• Why Hijackals cannot accept emotional intimacy but are comfortable with being emotional abusers

I'm here to help.

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community 

#signsofemotionalimmaturity #emotionalmaturity #noremotionalintimacy #emotionalimmaturitypreventsemotionalintimacy

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You can begin healing even while you're in an emotionally abusive situation, small steps and nano-seconds of healing. Understanding my phases of healing from emotional abuse encourages you to begin and continue the healing journey. Wherever you are--even if you have not started the journey yet, seeing there is a pathway can help.

If you want to be emerging empowered from a past or present in which you experienced emotional abuse, you need this episode. Understanding the blueprint and anticipating the process is wise, and will make you much less susceptible to going back to a Hijackal of any stripe....even a Hijackal parent!

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

• Healing begins with realizing that and how you have been wounded
• The three phases of the healing from emotional abuse process
• Why it takes longer to heal than you want it to

Clearly see the patterns and ready for a change? I'm here to help.

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community 

#healingafterabuse #stepstohealingafterabuse #healingafteremotionalabuse #howdoIhealfromemotionalabuse

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Too many times, you hope a Hijackal will be different. They may even promise to be, or seem to understand the need to change. But, it's just for a hot minute, right? These ten ways Hijackals generally behave are ones you need to believe will never change...no matter what is promised. Really!

Hijackals and other narcissistic people are focused on meeting their own needs. Self-absorbed. Self-involved. Self-satisfyining. That's them. And, they want to control you and everything else they possibly can, especially in the home. Clearly see these patterns in them so that you'll recognize how frequently they occur. .

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

• Recognize how frequently these ten predictable behaviors show up
• Don't expect Hijackals to change. They almost never do.
• Narcissists & other Hijackals repeat these patterns to control you.

Clearly see the patterns and ready for a change?  I'm here to help.

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community 

#narcissistslie #traitsofnarcissists #traitsofhijackals #whatnarcissistsdo #whathijackalsdo

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Fawning Response creates a constant imbalance in a relationship. Hijackals love that! You're helping them control you, and you sure don't want to do that for a moment longer, right?

Fawning happens when you attempt to avoid conflict and trauma by appeasing people and demonstrating or feigning interest to earn the approval of others. Sadly, it also causes you to deny your rights, interests, thoughts, feelings and to abandon what's healthy in adult relationships: equality, reciprocity, and mutuality. You may avoid conflict in the moment but you're also giving up too much.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

• Recognizing the fawning response
• 12 Ways fawning makes a Hijackal happy
• Why narcissistic people want you to fawn...and then, make you wrong for it
• 8 steps to take to stop the fawning response and reclaim your power

Ready to take back your power and give up fawning?  I'm here to help.

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community 

#fawningresponse #giveupfawning #stopfawning #reclaimyourpower #peoplepleasing #peoplepleasers

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When you deeply think about these eighteen reasons, you'll recognize eighteen things you can heal so you won't attract, or keep, an emotional abuser. It's a BIG step to recognize these because you are capable of changing...especially when you know exactly what and why to change. The Hijackal, the emotionally abusive person, will not change.You will...once you clearly see what' needs to change!

Emotional abuse is something you get used to even while you're hating it. It needs to stop, right? In this episode, you'll recognize steps you can take to make that so, and feel good.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

• 18 reasons that Hijackals are drawn to people pleasers
• Definition of people-pleasers & their traits
• Insights into what you need to heal to say no to emotional abuse
• How Hijackal parents set you up for Hijackal relationships

Need help to say no to emotional abuse?  I'm here to help.

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community 

#peoplepleasing #peoplepleasers #puttingupwithemotionalabuse #freefromabuse #giveuppeoplepleasing

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The holidays bring out the worst in Hijackals. I'm sure you've noticed. Why does this happen? What do you need to be watching for? And, what do you do to? This episode can help you reclaim your power during the holidays. 

When you're living with, have left, or were raised by Hijackals--those relentlessly difficult, self-centered people, you may dread the holidays. Hijackals are much more than attention-seekers. They are attention-demanders. That's why they hijack holidays, leading you to dread both them AND the holidays!

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

• 10 ways Hijackals ruin holidays
• Why Hijackals--narcissistic people, anti-social people--think they MUST be in control
• How Hijackals play on your hopes, emotions, and expectations of the holidays
• Why you should take your own car to events...especially during the holidays

Were you abused? Are you being abused? Are you healing from abuse?. I'm here to help.

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community 

#holidayhorrors #hijackalsattheholidays #narcissistsruinholidays #ruintheholidays #needingtobethecenterofattention

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Whether it is parents or partners that make you feel worthless, unwanted, and unappreciated, it leads to emotional abuse. It's important to recognize these basic truths about emotional abuse so they will not continue to damage your life.

Hijackals and other emotional abusers don't want you to feel worthy, wanted, or welcome. That would make you their equal and they are having none of that. You've likely noticed that. Hijackals are always in competition with you...for no other reason than they live in morbid fear of being wrong or shamed. So, they learn tactics to control, manipulate, and rewrite history.

I know it's difficult to actually say to yourself, "My partner (or parent) is emotionally abusive." You may feel embarrassed, or worse, you may feel unkind saying that about someone who is actually abusing you. That's why it's important to recognize emotional abuse, and call it what it is. Then, you can begin extricating yourself from it.

Healthy parents want and welcome their children.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

• Why there's nothing wrong with wanting to be wanted
• What unconditional acceptance means
• Why Hijackals and other emotional abusers do not want you to feel worthy, wanted, or welcome
• Why it is essential to the rest of your life to recognize emotional abuse

Were you abused? Are you being abused? Are you healing from abuse?. I'm here to help.

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community 

#emotionallyabusiveparent #emotionallyabusivepartner #amiworthyoflove #signsofemotionalabuse

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

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Sometimes, it's hard to see emotional abuse when it's happening. Sometimes, you were young and thought it was normal. What about now? Are you living in it, or suffering from the long-term effects of it? How do you know? Listen for answers to these questions.

Emotional abuse can be hard to recognize in the beginning. Some people have difficult naming it, even after experiencing it for far too long. This episode will help you understand the underlying nature of living with emotional abuse. I offer the analogy between living with emotional abuse and having black mold in your house. Understanding those similarities can help you get a handle on the extent of emotional abuse you may have experienced, or be experiencing.

Think of the effects of living with spreading mold in your basement or under your kitchen sink. You are unaware of it, yet it keeps on affecting you. Eventually, you find the cause. I hope this episode will help you pinpoint emotional abuse earlier, rather than later.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

• Signs of emotional abuse
• Why emotional abuse is the hardest to recognize
• How emotional abuse affects you like mold in your house
• The accumulative effects of long-term emotional abuse
• Why it is essential to recognize and admit that you have experienced emotional abuse.

Were you abused? Are you being abused? Are you healing from abuse?. I'm here to help.

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community 

#livingwithemotionalabuse #gaslighting #toxicshame #abuseathome #effectsofabuse #amibeingabused #hypervigilance

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

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You want to be able to trust a person, right? It's natural. It's healthy. Yet, you cannot trust narcissists or any variation of Hijackal. And, I know you want to. 

In this episode, hear the many ways you CANNOT trust them, even when you want to. Hear ways you convince yourself you can believe them, and why you must stop. Yep, it's hard sometimes. But, if you trust them, you're diving into crazy-making even further...and, that's never a good thing. Join in.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

• Trust is a hallmark of a healthy relationship....and relationships with narcissists are unhealthy!
• Why Hijackals are untrustworthy....narcissists, too
• How narcissists take advantage of you...over and over and over.
• Why narcissists won't compromise
• Stop giving them another chance.

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#nevertrustanarcissst #canitrustanarcissist #donttrustanarcissist #wasteyearsofmylife

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist #anri-social

#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

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We all have things we fear, things we may not even be conscious of. Hijackals exploit your deepest root fears to manipulate and control. They make those fears worse and more real. Recognize these fears and how the Hijackal feeds them.

Oxford Languages defines fear as "an unplesasant emotion caused by the believe someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat." There are many roots to your fears: the places things grow from. When you were raised by, lived with, or left a Hijackal, you will have had your fears magnified by the experience, in most cases.

Time to recognize these ten fears (there are many more) and how Hijackals prey on them to keep you scared, small, restricted, confined, and controlled. Nasty!

Once you listen to this episode, you will be empowered to see how Hijackals use your fears and wounds to manipulate, control, and coerce you. With that knowledge, you can recognize the emotional abuse.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

• How Hijackals are attracted to people with wounds
• How your root fears can turn into your beliefs about yourself and others
• Why Hijackals want to keep you hypervigilant and afraid
• Reclaiming and regaining your personal power

Want to talk about your relationship? . I'm here to help.

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community 

#rootfears #hownarcissistsuseyourfears #underlyingfears #hijackalspreyonyourfears #hypervigilance

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

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Everyone experiences trauma differently. Frequently, folks don't recognize or acknowledge their trauma, either. This episode will help you understand how you may--or may not--have processed trauma, and why you may be recreating it, too.

You cannot separate the mind from the body. They are constantly interacting and informing one another. When you have experienced trauma, both your mind and body are affected. And, you may not have realized what happened to you.

Dr. Gabor Mate said, "Trauma is a psychic wound that hardens you psychologically that then interferes with your ability to grow and develop. It pains you and now you're acting out of pain. It induces fear and now you're acting out of fear. Trauma is not what happens to you, it's what happens inside you as a result of what happened to you."

When you see that clearly, and you relate it to your experience, you can choose a healing and recovering journey. Vital to recognize if you'd like to change your life!

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

• The body/mind connection when trauma is experienced
• 3 immediate responses most people have to trauma whether they recognize them or not
• 3 additional stages of trauma and their symptoms
• How trauma creates a habitual dis-ease that can be healed.

Want to talk about your relationship? . I'm here to help.

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community 

#recognizingtrauma #traumaresponses #yourbodyrememberstrauma #drgabormate #drpeterlevine

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The energetics of relationships with Hijackals can shut you down emotionally, and even physically. Understanding what happens within yourself and why can help you thaw, move, and take action in your own best interests. You need to hear this to empower yourself and get unstuck! 

You are not powerless, although you may be feeling that way. You may be so worn down and torn down that you are overwhelmed by the negative energy that is always being sent your way.

We are energetic beings. We need to be balancing the positive and negative energy, the heightened and depressed energy, and therefore, we need to recognize when we are receiving or feeling too much charge, or the opposite: feeling depleted and exhausted. And, we need to know what's causing it. In this episode, I talk about the energetic interchanges of relationships with Hijackal--narcissists and anti-social folks, too.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

• Energy exchanges can be damaging
• How Hijackals are constantly sending "high charge: in your direction
• The energetics of relationships
• What happens when you cannot safely discharge energy

Want to talk about your relationship? . I'm here to help.

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community 

#energeticsofrelationship #whyIfeelsostuck #feelingpowerlessinrelationship #dischargingnarcissism #energychargefromnarcissists #dysfunctionalenergy

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

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Knowing what healthy love is allows you to examine your own relationship more accurately. Don't settle for crumbs. Wait for the full meal.

Did you see healthy love growing up? Did you experience it? Did you feel it?

Did it make you feel safe and loved for who you were as you grew? If you didn't experience this when you were young, you may be settling for less than is healthy now. Find out today!

Dr. Shaler's definition of "healthy love:"

"Healthy love has an equitable balance between autonomy and intimacy, demonstrates equality, reciprocity, and mutuality and operates with honesty, safety, trust, respect, and reliability. Then, it is a partnership, greater than the sum of its parts."

Is this what you're experiencing in your primary romantic relationship? Make it your goal. Don't settle for less.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

• Where we get our contexts for healthy love
• The necessary balance between autonomy and intimacy
• A definition of healthy love
• The 3 must-haves of a healthy adult relationship
• Creating healthy partnership

Want to talk about your relationship? . I'm here to help.

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community 

#healthylove #whathealthyloveis #ismyrelationshiphealthy #dontsettleforless #healthypartnership

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

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Emotional abuse. Don't ignore, tolerate, or deny it. See it clearly for what it is, AND how it is affecting you daily.

Do you feel putdown, degraded, or are your feelings dismissed and discounted? Is someone trying to control you and/or manipulate you? The whole idea behind emotionally abusing you is to tear you down and wear you down to a state of emotional exhaustion. In that state, the Hijackal thinks you will be too distraught to put up a fight or defense. (Of course, even if you were to put up a fight or defense, an emotional abuser sees that as an opportunity to threaten, or rage....or worse.

You need to see these red flags clearly, and recognize that what you are being accused of has nothing to do with you. It is the way of the Hijackal

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

• What coercive control is (See more in this episode.)
• The many faces of control
• Why the Hijackal makes isolating you from support sound romantic and attractive
• How many ways are you being surveilled by a Hijackal, a narcissist?
• The sad ways Hijackal legitimatize control and punishment

Are you aware that you have an emotional abuser in your life? . I'm here to help.

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community 

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

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Learn about the effects the "upside down parenting" of narcissists and other Hijackals can have on your adult life and relationships. Great insights to help you make positive changes, and life easier. First, though, you have to see it clearly to understand what really happened to you.

Listen in to further understand the impact having a Hijackal parent makes. As a child, you have no experience and the inborn understanding that you need your parents to survive. With a Hijackal parent, things go sideways in the first two years of your life, and stay warped, slipped, and damaging throughout. IMPORTANT to recognize the facts in today's episode to better understand why you do, think, and feel as you do in your adult life and relationships.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

• What tractability is
• How tractaiblity leads to the "upside down parenting"
• A main big difference between healthy and unhealthy parenting
• Three big issues Hijackal and other narcissistic parents create for you
• How having emotionally unavailable parents affects you

Have you recognized the issues a Hijackal parent left you with? . I'm here to help.

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community 

#narcissistblackmail #narcissisticblackmail #hijackalemotionalblackmail #emotionalblackmail #endingemotionalblackmail #nomoreemotionalblackmail

#codependence #enabling #emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

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Hijackals are good at emotional blackmail. They are experts at the "Gotcha!" And, they constantly use it to their advantage. Learn more about the components of that blackmail and how to counteract them. Then, Hijackals fail to succeed at using it against you effectively!

Learn what you can do to respond in empowering ways when narcissistic, borderline, or anti-social folks try to control you using emotional blackmail. This episode will help you understand how that emotional blackmail shows up, what its desired result is, and how to say no to it.

Healthier people aren't looking to control you. They care what you want, think, feel, and need. Hijackals don't. So, you need strategies for working within yourself and with the Hijackal to stop the emotional blackmail.

Emotional blackmail according to Dr. Susan Forward: "when people close to us threaten, directly or indirectly punish us, when we don't do what they want." Does that sound familiar? You can stop it. Listen in.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

• The connection between blackmail and emotional blackmail
• Dr. Susan Forward's book, Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You
• How a pattern of emotional blackmail is established and maintained
• Better strategies than compliance when a narcissistic person uses emotional blackmail
• Responding to emotional blackmail purposefully to emerge empowered

Want strategies and support to withstand emotional blackmail. I'm here to help.

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community 

#narcissistblackmail #narcissisticblackmail #hijackalemotionalblackmail #emotionalblackmail #endingemotionalblackmail #nomoreemotionalblackmail

#codependence #enabling #emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

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Yes, Hijackal's eyes are not the windows to their souls as much as windows into their fears and desires to control. It's real. You're not imagining it. You can feel safer with the insights in this episode.

Research shows that humans notice faces first. Generally, that is what attracts us.

Eyes tell you so much, if you interpret their messages accurately. When dealing with Hijackals--narcissistic, borderline, anti-social, and histrionic folks, you MUST get the messages clearly or you'll be damaged, emotionally, if not physically. That's why this episode is particularly important.

Healthy people want to read healthier things into peoples' expressions. You must not do that when you're with Hijackals. You have to believe what is written on their faces or you will be in trouble. Misinterpreting the messages in their eyes can be dangerous. Not believing those messages? More dangerous.

Rage eyes. Vacant eyes, Dead eyes, Black Eyes, Psychopathic Stares. Do you know the difference? Do you know what they indicate? Do you know how to keep yourself safer? Listen in.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

• The different ways narcissistic and psychopathic people look at you
• Why it it important to recognize what a narcissist wants most from you
• 5 different ways people with narcissistic, borderline, and anti-social tendencies look at you (None of them good!)
• How to respond to the different warnings in their eyes effectively

Do you know you want to feel safer when Hijackal eyes burn a hole in you?  I'm here to help.

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community 

#eyesofnarcissist #eyesofhijackals #deadcoldeyes #rageeyes #vacanteyes #predatorystare #psychopathstare #scaryeyesofnarcissist #coldhardpsychopath

#codependence #enabling #emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #emergingempowered #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest

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You may not know these terms but you know the undercutting feeling one produces, and the scramble the other does! Very important to recognize and say no to! Listen in.

Hijackals--people with narcissistic, borderline, passive-aggressive, anti-social traits--play to win. Only to win. They cannot and will not tolerate blame or shame to touch them and they work hard at being two or three steps ahead of either of those at all times. This episode sheds light on two sad, and important, ways that they try to make you take responsibility for their deficits. As I said, sad!

You may be familiar with projection. That's when the Hijackal projects their feelings or characteristics onto you, usually things they are afraid are true about themselves. Much more on that to hear.

You may not be familiar with introjection. That;s when you unconsciously internalize and incorporate the characteristics, ideas and attitudes of other people into your own thoughts and behaviors, usualy to reduce your anxiety or fear of loss.

Now, you can imagine what havoc these two things can create within you...but, only if you don't realize what's going on. This episode will help you clearly understand what these terms mean and how they play out. (p.s. NOT WELL!) It's important to know these distinctions so you'll be able to take charge when you see them!

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

• What projection is, and its purpose
• What introjection is
• How introjection can be used positively AND negatively to shape you without your awareness
• How Hijackals use projection to protect themselves
• How you might use introjection to misguidedly try to get a Hijackal to like you and treat you well (p.s. That won't happen.)

Do you know you need to learn to turn on the teflon and avoid the projection?  I'm here to help.

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

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#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #emergingempowered #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest

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Hijackals--passive-aggressive. narcissistic. anti-social folks--thrive on tearing you down. Sometimes, it's a slow picking at you. Sometimes, it's a constant beratement. Either way, you need to stop it from getting into your head and under your skin. And, if it's already there, I'll help you get it out. Listen in.

Hijackals--my word for people who hijack relationships for their own needs and purposes, and then relentlessly scavenge them for power, status, and control--feed on having power over you. It's what gets them up in the morning! Sad.

Hijackals thrive on tearing you down, wearing you down, and putting you down. It feeds that need for control. SO, they will say anything to you that keeps you small and makes them feel big. Nasty!

Whether the Hijackal you have in mind is your parent, sibling, partner, or adult child, subtly or crashingly crassly, they will find numerous ways to make you feel small, worthless, and insignificant. Does this sound familiar? Some of them only do it when fearful or stressed (that can be too much of the time!) and others live in that skin 24/7.

In this episode, I give you 9 ways to stop anyone from tearing you down. No, it has nothing to do with putting your hand over their mouth. AND, yes, it has everything to do with taking charge of yourself so that you can be Emerging Empowered!

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

• What gaslighting is
• How to stop believing the gaslighting
• Stopping the manipulation of believing a narcissistic person's view of you
• Changing your self-talk to what is accurate, true, and positive...no matter what a Hijackal says
• Taking charge of what goes on in your head and saying "No!" to power games played by narcissists and other Hijackals

Are you willing to believe what you know to be true about you regardless of what a Hijackal tries to sell you? Great. I'm here to help.

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community 

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#codependence #enabling #emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #emergingempowered #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest

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Little by little, nasty, bitter, unfair things start becoming part of the day-to-day with a narcissist. Those Hijackals are relentless in wearing you down and getting their way, right?

You might pass it off as another "little thing to avoid" to reduce the abuse. WHAT? You're doing things to reduce the abuse rather than set boundaries and making plans to leave? SEE HOW SNEAKY IT ALL IS? Don't miss these ten main "features" of narcissistic emotional abuse!!

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

• You can get used to being emotionally abused...and, that's not good!
• Failing to see abuse as abuse is dangerous.
• Among the top ten forms of frequent emotional abuse
• 10 ways you can get used to being emotionally abused without actually noticing

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#emotionallyabused #usedtobeingabused #seeingemotionalabuse #beingusedandabused

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist #anri-social

#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

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Yet, it feels real, and you SO want it to be real. There's where the manipulation and confusion sets in. In this episode, I let you in on the secret that, much as you want it to be real, it isn't. (Did I mention that?) You need to see that clearly to keep from being hurt further!

Empathy is defined in the Merriam-Webster dictionary this way:

"the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner."

Wow! That would be great, however, that's not what you get when you're in a relationship with a Hijackal--a narcissistic, anti-social, or borderline personality. They are emotional empathy deficient but usually rely on cognitive empathy. That's a darker kind of empathy that is constructed in the mind, but doesn't much touch the heart.

Hijackals use cognitive empathy as a tool to love-bomb you, to encourage you to be vulnerable with them. Then, what do they do with those vulnerabilities? They turn them on you later like stored ammunition, or they use the information to benefit themselves in other ways. Nasty!

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

• What cognitive empathy is
• How cognitive empathy is different from emotional empathy
• Why cognitive empathy is unsatisfying...and unsettling when you actually see it for what it is
• How Hijackals use cognitive empathy to make you feel safer for a bit and why they do it
• Why it's important to recognize the differences between cognitive empathy and the emotional empathy you are wanting but won't arrive

Are you being used and confused by a Hijackal demonstrating cognitive empathy? I'm here to help.

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community 

#cognitiveempathy #emotionalempathy #lackingempathy #unsafetobevulnerable #exploitingmyvulnerabilities #hownarcissistsusecognitiveempathy #cognitiveempathycanbemanipulation #lovebombing #gettingmetotalk #pretendingtocareaboutme #pretendingtobeinterestedinme

#codependence #enabling #emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #emergingempowered #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

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Clearly see how narcissistic people try to control information flow by going through other people, their desired "flying monkeys."

Are there other people in your relationship with the Hijackal who are being approached by the Hijackal to serve their purposes? Do they engage them? Learn how to think about all that!

SO important to recognize triangulation when it is happening! If it's already happened, you can benefit from seeing the interactions and taking action, too.

The point of triangulation by a toxic person in a relationship is to create stress, confusion, anxiety for others while creating a sense of collusion with the narcissist, anti-social, histrionic, or other Hijackal. It works. It particularly works on you, the target, because you have learned to second-guess yourself and even question your sanity, in some cases.

Hijackals use triangulation because it makes them feel important and in control of the relationships, the one with you and the ones with others colluding with them.

Triangulation is when a toxic person brings a third person into a relationship so that the toxic person can remain in control and manipulate the situation. The whole strategy is toxic, too!

Why they do it, how they do it, and how to recognize it while it's happening is the topic of this episode.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

• What triangulation is and its purpose
• Why Hijackals feel powerful using triangulation
• How unsuspecting people get taken in by the Hijackals manipulations
• What flying monkeys are
• How flying monkeys play into triangulation and are seduced by a false sense of loyalty

Not sure how to begin setting boundaries with a toxic person in your life? I'm here to help.

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community 

#manipulation #triangulation #narcissistictriangulation #creatingconflictthroughtriangulation #creatingconflict #nastythingsnarcissistsdo #whydomyparentsagreewiththenarcissist #flyingmonkeys #flyingmonkeysandtraiangulation

#codependence #enabling #emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #emergingempowered #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest

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Setting Boundaries. Calibrating Results. Making Decisions. No matter what the Hijackal thinks they are entitled to you need to set, express, and hold boundaries. In this episode, I'll give you effective ways to begin, or continue, setting clear boundaries and staying strong. Oh, and, what to do when those Hijackals trample them, too! 

Yes, Hijackals are boundary bulldozers. They don't like boundaries...unless they are their own. Then, of course, everything is different! <SIGH>

Hijackals are definitely not interested in your boundaries in the way you want them to be. Listen in, though, to find out one way that Hijackals REALLY like to hear your boundaries. You don't set boundaries for them,. though, you do it for yourself. You want to be Emerging Empowered and knowing your boundaries, being willing to express and maintain them, is part of that practice.

You previously may have made requests of the Hijackal in your life. How did that work? Did you get the results you wanted? Boundaries are another step beyond requests. Knowing what your boundaries are in the first step. Then, being willing to speak up about them comes next. You do well to know the steps. That's what I'm outlining for you in this episode, so you can feel more confident.

How Hijackals respond to boundaries is good to know these seven responses you may receive. That helps so you won't be surprised when it happens!

After you set and express your boundaries, you need to know how to maintain them, how to keep them non-negotiable. That again will help you with emerging empowered!

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

• Why Hijackals--narcissists, anti-socials, histrionics--are not interested in respecting your boundaries
• Why Hijackals like to hear your boundaries (confusing, right?)
• Why set boundaries
• When boundaries need consequences
• Why boundaries cannot be threats
• The necessity for boundaries to be non-negotiable

Not sure how to begin setting boundaries with a toxic person in your life?  I'm here to help.

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community 

#fboundaries #settingboundaries #expressingboundaries #maintainingboundaries #settingboundarieswithanarcissist #needforboundaries #cognitiveempathy #whynarcissistslikeboundaries

#codependence #enabling #emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #emergingempowered #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest

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No one likes to be rejected. It's uncomfortable, painful, and a blow to the self-confidence and self-esteem.

What can you do about it? How do you think it through? It's more difficult in a relationship with a Hijackal, Listen in to understand the dynamics and know what steps to take to quell the fear of rejection. 

if you had a Hijackal parent, you may well have developed a fear of rejection very early in your life. Living with a Hijackal parent or two creates a demand from them that they always have the upper hand and discard you at any moment, for any reason. That taps into a basic fear of being abandoned, and as you get older that can develop into a fear of rejection once you understand language and have a sense of your family dynamics.

Many people strive for perfection in the hopes of meeting the parents' expectations and receiving their validation. Conversely, I think that that striving for perfection is more motivated by a fear of rejection. Unless you address this in your life, you cannot find and live your own personal power. Hijackals will rule your life, even when they are not around, because you have internalized their unrealistic expectations of you. This is SO work thinking through and working through.

Rejection happens. You'll have feelings about it and they may not be pleasant, maybe even painful. You'll live through it. When you liberate yourself from the FEAR of rejection, you set yourself free.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

• Why the fear of rejection is too common--more common than you think
• How the fear of rejection is developed
• How narcissistis and other Hijackals use fear of rejection as a tool to control you
• Who is most likely to have a fear of rejection
• Why recognizing a fear of rejection is the beginning of setting yourself free

If you recognize that you have a fear of rejection,  I'm here to help.

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community 

#fearofrejection #perfectiontoavoidrejection #notspeakingup #fearofnotbeinggoodenough #hijackalsuserejection #narcissiststhreatenrejection #threatofrejection #whydoIhaveafearofrejection #tyrannyofrejection #tyrannyofnarcissists

#codependence #enabling #emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #emergingempowered #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

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Even perfection won't and can't cut it if you're in relationship with a Hijackal of any stripes. This episode will help you understand this cycle, how it works, why it won't work, and why it needs to stop. These concepts can spell R-E-L-I-E-F for you!

If you had a narcissistic or Hijackal parent, you were pre-conditioned to accept the poor treatment of a Hijackal. That's difficult enough! Then, you may find yourself in a supposedly romantic relationship with one, and eventually it starts to resemble the one with your parents, right? No accident!

Hijackals are particularly interested in people who have been "pre-groomed" to accept their sad, frustrating, and infuriating shenanigans. So, if you did have a Hijackal parents (or, like me, had two of them), you are set up to be Hijackal Bait by that experience.

You may not have felt good enough with your parents, at school, in a sports situation, or with friends. Then, the Hijackal--that person who is supposed to love you in every way--takes over the abusive behaviors. You may think that it is your job to please the Hijackal, to make them happy. NO! It isn't your job. But, a Hijackal will certainly turn those tables on you, leaving you feeling as though you can never be good enough.

This has to change. This episode will help you start that journey, or accelerate it.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

• Two kinds of people Hijackals and narcissists look for
• Why you may never have felt good enough
• How Hijackals, narcissists and anti-social people control you
• Why perfection will never be enough
• How to break the cycle

These things can be difficult to change and integrate without professional help.  I'm here to help.

Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community 

#notgoodenough #tryingtopleaseanarcissist #stoptryingtopleaseanarcissist #perfectionisnotenough #perfectionismisparalyzing #nevergoodenough #strivingforperfection #wantingtobegoodenough #narcissistswithholdapproval #fearofrejection

#codependence #enabling #emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #emergingempowered #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest

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A whole chicken and egg thing! Anger and anxiety are closely related, and it's essential to see how. Hijackals in the mix create a whole other level of mess! Listen in for help to clarify what's happening IN you and TO you.

If you were raised by, live with, or have left a Hijackal--a relentlessly difficult, toxic person, you know what it is to live with anger and anxiety. Sometimes, at the same time, too! Internal anxiety can shift to externalized anxiety which shows uip as anger. It can leave you wondering if you're the Hijackal, right? Yes, it can, but that's not an accurate conclusion to draw. Hijackals are crazy-making, and when anger and anxiety enter the picture, your ability to think straight dulls.

Anger is usually an antagonism for one person who you think is causing your suffering. Maybe, is even responsible for it. Anxiety is a build-up of tension and worry because you don't feel in control of yourself, the situation or the future. That's why you can feel anxious and find yourself expressing anger, and you can feel angry and know that it is an outlet for pent-up anxiety.

Oh, and remember that episode I did on Reactive Abuse? That's a good example of this crazy-making cycle of anxiety and anger. If anything I've written so far makes sense, you'll find even more understanding in that episode. Add that to this one, and you'll clearly see the cycles and why they need to end.

Learn more about how anxiety takes you out of the present and disconnects you from your present reality. Anxiety is usually about something that hasn't happened yet, but you're worried it might. Both anxiety and anger are rooted in fear. That takes some work to recognize, claim, and change. This episode is a good start!

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

• How anger and anxiety are different
• Similarities between anger and anxiety in the body
• How anxiety can turn to anger and anger can generate anxiety
• How anger and anxiety show up in a toxic relationship with a Hijackal or a narcissist
• Why understanding anger and anxiety in these ways can help you make decisions

Want to know how to handle your anger and anxiety in a toxic relationship? I'm here to help.

I wish you well.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community 

#angerandanxiety #anger #anxiety #anxietywithnarcissist #angerwithnarcissist #angerarousal #anxietyandfear #angerandfear #hijackalsmakemeanxious #hijackalsmakemeangry #angryandanxious

#codependence #enabling #emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #emergingempowered #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest

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When you've suffered trauma, it can have a long term affect. Long-term trauma is different. In this episode, you can learn about the attributes, traits, and causes of C-PTSD to help you understand what may be lingering in your body/mind system, and what you can do about it. 

How you were raised creates the beliefs you hold about yourself, others, and the world. If you've had dysfunction and abuse in your early life, your views of these may be warped. You may experience heightened emotional distress, feel overwhelmed, anxious, helpless, or hopeless. Certainly, you can feel disempowered.

Understand the undepinnings of Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder can uncover the places in your life that may have set you on a difficult path. When that happens in your family or origin, you can expect it to be highly likely that you'll attract a difficult relationship, two or ten, into your adult life. It's not what you want, but it's what you know. You don't do it on purpose, but it happens all the same.

Often, that leads to feeling stuck. Then, you may also have difficulty controlling your emotions, or feel angry or distrustful towards the world. Maybe, you feel empty or hopeless.

"Why is this happening to me? I've been a good, caring, giving person, and yet it's never enough."

Have you had that thought? Or, have you become so exhausted from being worn down and torn down that you simply give up and give in?

How about the feeling that you are completely different than other people, and nobody understands what's happened to you.

Or, do you avoid friendships and relationships, or at least, find them daunting and difficult?

These things can be symptoms of C-PTSD, Complet Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Knowing what to look for can set you on a corrective path that can lead you to a healthier, happier life. Lean in and listen to see which, if any, of this episode can provide you with a new understanding of yourself, and your relationships.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

• What Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, C-PTSD, is
• What situations and relationships can lead you to suffer from C-PTSD
• What C-PTSD can cause you to experience in life...especially what you may never have recognized before
• 5 major things that are great first steps toward healing C-PTSD, putting it well in the background of your life...and leaving it there

Wondering about the pathway to healing once you've recognized C-PTSD? I'm here to help.

I wish you well.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community 

#complexptsd #emotionalflashbacks #childhoodabuse #childhoodneglect #abandonment #complexposttraumaticstressdisorder #causesofcptsd

#codependence #enabling #emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #emergingempowered #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest

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Don't Hijackals love to stir the pot and keep it swirling? They definitely have goals in mind and one is to keep you spinning and the relationship unstable. You want that to stop. Get insights into stopping the spinning and instability in this episode.

When a Hijackal wants power over you--and they all do, one of the most likely ways they go for it is to catch you off-guard, keep you uncertain, and be contradictory. You've likely noticed that. They think that allows them to operate somehow undercover if they keep you off-center. And, many times it works. After you listen to this episode, if it was working, it won't anymore!

I've covered a lot of the wily ways of Hijackals in other episodes - you can search my archive for:

• gaslighting
• blameshifting
• pastcasting
• moving the markers
• lying
• dismissing you
• discounting you
• isolation
• triangulation
• threats to abandon
• The Silent Treament
• threats to hurt you, your children, your property, or your reputation

...and those are only some!

A toxic person's (Hijackal) intention is to keep you off balance. While you are second-guessing yourself or questioning your sanity at their instigation, they are undercutting your confidence and undermining your certainty. And, all to have a continuous advantage over you! Nasty.

I offer you eight steps you can take immediately...and they don't involve getting the cooperation of the Hijackal. That's ideal! You want to get back to your own center, live your own values, and establish yourself in a relationship that offers equality and equity, reciprocity, and mutuality. Of course, those are things that Hijackals shy away from, if not run screaming from. Unfortunately, though, they won't run off without a mega effort to have power over you and run you down.

Now, you can begin with the eight steps in this episode. Yay!

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

• Why Hijackals think they have the right to shape the relationship
• How Hijackals create chaos and confusion
• Why Hijackals work to keep you in uncertainty and, preferably, instability
• Hijackal moves to exert power over you
• 8 steps to stop the spinning and the instability they want to create

Do you need help to stop the chaos and confusion? I'm here to help.

I wish you well.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community 

#narcissistscreatechaos #keepingyouconfused #underminingmyconfidence #havepoweroverme #controlissues #controllingpeople #manipulativepartner #mypartnerwantstocontrolme #mypartnerdoesntcareaboutme #myrelationshipisunequal

#codependence #enabling #emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #emergingempowered #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest

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You could be suffering from enabler's guilt without knowing what is causing your fear, anxiety, or depression. THE GOOD NEWS: It doesn't have to be that way. Once you recognize what's going on, you can take steps to change it, reclaim your power, and rebuild your life.

Do you ever feel that, somehow, it's your job to make other people happy? Where do you think you got that idea? Who taught you that?

Those answers are a good start on how you may have come to have enabler's guilt. In episode 196, I talked about people pleasing in depth. That's part of it. Add to that the concept of The Fawning Response and you'll understand more fully the underpinnings of my concept of "Enabler's Guilt."

You've likely heard of Survivor's Guilt which happens when people believe they have done something wrong by surviving a traumatic or tragic event when others didn't. Think of that as a parallel concept to Enabler's Guilt....especially if you have already determined that you have, at times at least, been an enabler of a Hijackal, a difficult, toxic person. Here's my definition of enabling to help:

"Enabling is when you usually step in to fix, solve, excuse, rationalize, justify, or make the consequences go away for the poor choices of others." Familiar? Do you know an enabler? Are you one?

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

• What enabler's guilt is
• How enabler's guilt is similar to survivor's guilt and witness guilt
• Why guilt and feeling guilty are not the same
• How you came to believe other people are more important than you are
• Steps to rethink your guilt and reclaim your power

If you are experiencing enabler's guilt, or need insights and strategies to handle a relationship with a Hijackal, I'm here to help.

I wish you well.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community 

#enabling #enablersguilt #guiltfornotbeinggoodenough #guiltyoffailing #survivorsguilt #witnessguilt #guiltyfornotpreventingabuse #guiltfornotstoppingabuse #feelingguilty

#codependence #enabling #emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #emergingempowered #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest 

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Enmeshed, Entrenched, and Emerging Empowered! Know the Differences so YOU can Make a Difference!

You know that being enmeshed or entrenched with another human is unhealthy, right? You may not recognize just what's happening right now, though. This episode will help you see what's unhealthy and how to move towards Emerging Empowered.

Hijackals want you to become enmeshed and entrenched, along with a host of other things they want that are designed to give them power and control over you. They want to be able to manipulate you. You know how they love to blame you for everything. Keeping you enmeshed makes Hijackals happy. They can play with your emotions like a cat with a toy. Nasty!

Difficult situations are part and parcel of life with a Hijackal. If you become worn down enough because they have torn you down by putting you down, they think that makes you easier prey. They hope that you will allow them more and more power and control. Sometimes, you do, just to keep the peace. Sometimes, because you're afraid of them!

That's why it's important to recognize the distinctions I'm making in the episode. It will help you gain clarity, and see where you can regain some strength.

Do you ever feel like you might just as well give in and stop resisting their manipulations? I'm sure you do. It's exhausting and you end up picking your battles carefully. Then, things begin to wear away further, and there may be little left of you. Not good. So, listen in.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

• What it means to be entrenched in a relationship
• Why being enmeshed can keep you stuck
• 5 Steps to Emerging Empowered
• Announcing Dr. Shaler's new Emerging Empowered Community
• How to move towards empowerment and away from enmeshment with a Hijackal

If you know that you need some insights, strategies, and support to arise from an unhealthy relationship, I'm here to help.

I wish you well.

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community 

#entrenchedbehavior #enmeshedwithanarcissist #enmeshedwithmypartner #whatdoesitmeantobeenmeshed #recognizinghijackals #howcanichangeanabusivepattern #feelingempowered

#codependence #enabling #emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #emergingempowered #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest 

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Some Hijackals are subtle, some are sneaky. All are to keep your relationship in chaos, preferably with you giving in to their whims, demands, and expectations. Most of all, they want to be in charge and in control of all the things. Be informed. See them for what and who they are.

They are always wanting to create a fracas, a commotion, an upset, and a mess. When you can see what they're up to, it's easier to see their ploys, tricks, and defaults. Then you an choose your responses in healthier ways.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

• Hijackals, narcissists, anti-socials: all need to win and be right
• 27 mean ways they try to keep things chaotic, emotionally
• Hijackals love a fracas, a noisy disturbance or quarrel, about anything
• Do everything in your power to avoid responding with reactive abuse

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#sneakynarcissist #nastynarcissist #narciccistsaaretroublesome #reativeabuse #seeinganarcissist

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist

#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalab

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Fawning can be thought of as a step further than people-pleasing. SO, you really need to know about it. Until you become conscious of it, you may be doing it. To get your life back, and to be emerging empowered, you want to recognize it, take charge of it, and garner new insights and skills.

When you have suffered from Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder--which many people who have been abused in many ways do, you may recognize that you actually respond to conflict with The Fawning Response. This term was created by therapist and abuse survivor Pete Walker in his book "Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving. It's a coping mechanisem, a poor one, used in an attempt to create safety in our relationships with others to garner their approval and meet their expectations. As I said, it's not a good one. It's unhealthy and damaging to yourself. Hence, self-abandonment!

You give and give and give in toxic relationships and it's never enough, right? Hijackals always want more. Even if they tell you exactly what they want from you, when you give that exact thing to them, they want something different. Overtime, over-giving becomes a habit, and so does fawning. It's exhausting.

One thing people who have experienced trauma don't want? More trauma. The fawning response is an attempt to prevent more trauma. IT DOESN'T WORK, but you're ever hopeful it will keep you out of the spotlight and out of hot water.

Listen in and recognize The Fawning Response in action. If it sounds familiar, take it to heart and choose to make a change. You may think it's keeping you safe, but it actually is not. You're losing yourself, and that's not a good thing at all!

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

• What The Fawning Response is
• How it shows up
• Why it shows up and becomes a habit
• Seven ways you abandon yourself when you choose the fawning response
• Why its important to see the fawning response and give it up

If you recognize that the Fawning Response is something you want to address, I'm here to help.

I wish you well.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community 

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#FAWNINGRESPONSE #fightflightfreezefawn #madepeoplefeelcomfortable #putyourselflast #otherpeoplemoreimportant #makingmyselfinvisible #pleasingothers #fawningtraumaresponse #codependence #enabling #emotionalabuserecovery

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #emergingempowered #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest 

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

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It is essential to recognize when you are abandoning yourself. You may think it's part of being a good person. It's a delicate balance, for sure.

How do you re-establish that balance if you have become an enabler, or are codependent? Listening to this episode is a very good start!

At the extreme, you abandon yourself when you totally accommodate another person's needs and wants even when those needs, wants--and, even demands--are outrageous! Most people don't go that far, and yet they abandon themselves.

Understanding what it is to be enabling another, or codependent on another, highlights ways in which you abandon yourself. Believe me, it's not worth it! And, you may think there will be a payoff for doing it somewhere down the yellow brick road. No! No! Because people take advantage of enablers and co-dependents, and walk on them. Sad, but true!

Have you ever given up your dreams, hopes, interests, and aspirations in order for someone to be interested in you, like you, or hopefully love you? That's a big sign of self-abandonment. And, only one of about twenty I share with you in this episode. Some are subtle and only you know they are happening within you. Others are more obvious and public. No, you don't want those, either!

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

• My practical definitions of self-abandonment, enabling, and codependence
• So many ways to recognize how you may be abandoning yourself in many circumstances
• How self-abandonment is part and parcel of enabling and codependence...and why
• Four key strategies for overcoming self-abandonment
• How to create emotional balance so that you can create more balanced relationships with my BIG three!

Do you recognize ways in which you've been abandoning yourself? I'm here to help.

I wish you well.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community 

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#abandonyourself #abandoningyourself #codependence #enabling #beinganenabler #losingyourselfinaguy #losingyourselfinagirl #givingtoomuch #endingperfectionism #emotionalabuserecovery

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #emergingempowered #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest 

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

8 Essential Factors for Recovery After Emotional Abuse. that you need to consider even if you don't want to and just want to go get the love, fun, attention, and validation you've been missing. What if you skip them? It could be a disaster.

You may be anxious to date, or you may be scared spitless! Or, sometimes ready and sometimes sure you'll never be! That's how uncertain you can feel once a Hijackal is in your rear view mirror. Does it sound familiar?

Even if you're still with a Hijackal, you may be wondering about life beyond that relationship. Listen in to understand the best things to consider before you hit the dating scene. Maybe, you have a friend who's newly single. Invite her or him to listen in because most divorces are fraught will many of the same issues leaving Hijackals present.

Yes, you might be wishing I was going to say, "Leap! Enjoy! Have fun!" I want that for you, however, not until you're well-prepared. You want to be successful, to see and avoid all red flags, right? That means being wise, slowing down, and thinking about a few things first. Yep! Sorry. It takes time.

You might hope that dating will be a distraction.. Actually, it is more likely to be a disaster if you haven't attended to the 8 Essential Factors in the broadcast. You could even find yourself hooked to another Hijackal! Oops!

Recovery itself takes a lot of things Far more than these 8 Factors. That's why I call them the ESSENTIAL ones. These are the MUST-DO ones that you are wise to have spent time with in your plan BEFORE DATING! Please listen.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

• Be emotionally prepared for dating
• Follow the 8 Essential Factors for Recovery After Emotional Abuse...at a minimum!
• Why you don't want to use dating as a distraction from the pain of emotional abuse
• Why you are not wise to jump into dating to feel better about yourself
• A great analogy about wounds and scars to keep in mind

Are you wanting help to heal in the most direct way after the emotional abuse of a toxic relationship? I'm here to help.

I wish you well.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community 

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#datingafteremotionalabuse #datingafteranarcissist #amireadytodate #howdoiknowimreadytodateafteranarcissist #healingafteranarcissist #emotionalabuserecovery

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #emergingempowered #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest 

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

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For many women--and men, too, restoring a feeling of safety to enjoy sexual intimacy seems a long way off. Anna-Thea share invaluable insights for regaining that sense of safety.

Trust, too, can be a big issue. In fact, letting a new person into your life at all can cause concern. That's natural. You are wise to take care of yourself. Today's insights in this episode can help so much!

You want to attract a healthier partner this time, I know. It's SO important that you feel safe to establish sexual intimacy, and that means establishing emotional intimacy first! Sure, sex can be exciting just for it's own sake. It's not usually a good way to begin a relationship, though, if you're hoping for a long0term relationship.

Yes, I know, there is often a feeling of pressure to be intimate in many early relationships. Resist the urge to have sex until you actually feel emotionally safe with someone! Does that seem do-able and/or wise?

Today, Anna-Thea and I talk about why we have to redefine love in order to see healthier pathways to create and experience it. You can have great sex with someone and never be able to talk about your feelings, for instance. Is that a good thing for you? Not likely if you're hoping to have a healthy relationship with a partner in life!

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

• Why we have to redefine love
• What makes the Feminine special and Sacred
• How attracting a healthy person requires being healthy yourself
• Why your body is not a "negotiation"
• Where the meeting place between safety and vulnerability is

Do you need help to make the shift to consider a new relationship after leaving an emotionally abusive one? We can talk.

warm regards,

Rhoberta

GUEST: ANNA-THEA

Anna-Thea educates women to connect to the power and sacredness of their feminine side - certified from the Divine Feminine Institute as a Divine Feminine Educator and Spiritual Sexual Educator. Graduating with honors with a bachelor’s degree in Nutrition, she also holds a double certification in yoga and taught yoga for many years. She now focuses her attention on Divine Feminine Education.

Her book “Empower Yourself by Loving Your Body” offers powerful insights for women.

FREE GIFT FROM ANNA-THEA:

Enjoy Anna-Thea's Love Quiz here: https://annathea.org/love-test

CONTACT ANNA-THEA

Website: https://annathea.org

Podcasts:

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/anna-thea-fabricius-4b16bb7

Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/annatheafab

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/divinefeminine.educator

Twitter: https://twitter.com/theannathea

YouTube:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER! I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again. When you like my pages, or subscribe to my YouTube channel and hit the notification bell, you'll hear about each Monday's livestream where you can join in and ask questions, too.

FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @DrShaler

-------------------------------------------------------------

I WANT TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Support Circles now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Emerging Empowered Community Circle

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#reclaimingyourbodyafterabuse #intimacyafteremotionalabuse #intimacyafterphysical abuse #intimacyaftersexualabuse #comfortablewithsex #comfortablewithyourbody #recoveringtoenjoysexafterabuse #recoveringafterabuse #annathea #empoweryourselfbylovingyourbody

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #hijackalabuse #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #drrhobertashaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #unhealthyrelationships #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #passiveaggressive #notgoodenough #relationshiphelp #verballyabusive #stopemotionalabuse #narcissisticabuse #emotionaltrauma #narcissism #psychopath #sociopath #emergingempowered

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

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You likely give people the benefit of the doubt, or are willing to go the extra mile for them. That's healthy and usually reciprocal. Great!

BUT, when you're with someone with narcissistic behaviors, it's not healthy or reciprocal. It's unhealthy and one-sided.

Most people immediately think of a particular set of traits when they think of narcissism in general: the blustery, look-at-me, superior, grandiose example. And, yes, that is definitely one of the types. Sometimes harder to detect--or harder to believe exist--are the other three contrasting types. Some are sneaky. Some play on your heartstrings. Some simply don't care! Knowing about these four types can expand the way you look at a troublesome, difficult, or toxic set of traits and realize what's likely going on. That's a big help!

How will it help? When you clearly see the patterns, traits, cycles and behaviors of another person, you can make healthy decisions for yourself as to whether you would like to stay in the relationship. Should I stay or should I leave? You need to know what the possibilities for change are, right?

So often, new clients come with that exact question, "Stay or go?" There's so much to calibrate and they want guidance, information, and direction to make those healthier decisions. And, what if there are children to consider? A huge consideration!!!

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

• 4 different types of narcissists
• Distinguishing features of each type of narcissistic behavior
• Why it's important to talk about narcissistic behavior or narcissistic tendencies rather than a diagnosis
• How two types of narcissistic behavior can have degrees of severity
• Can people with narcissistic leanings change?

Wondering about your relationship as it relates to narcissism? I'm here to help.

I wish you well.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Saturday Support Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community Includes two monthly group Ask Her Anything calls, too!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#typesofnarcissists #narcissistictypes #grandiosenarcissist #vulnerablenarcissist #communalnarcissist #malignantnarcissist #thedarktriad #narcissistictraits

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #emergingempowered #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest 

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You hear the same demeaning, dismissive things from narcissistic Hijackals all the time. It wears you down and they put your down. You need tools and strategies to neutralize the poison when it's being poured on you. This episode gives you specific insights into keeping yourself safer.

#Hijackals are always looking for a way, a place, an opening to exert power over you. I'm thinking that you're nodding your head in agreement as you read that, right? Hijackals will go to any lengths to be right, to win, to make you wrong, and make everything your fault. It's the Hijackal's nature to do that. And, it is exhausting!

You can become so worn down that you may even start believing what a Hijackal says about you. Has that happened to you? Or, maybe, you got to the "Whatever!" stage? You have been judged, criticized, gaslighted, and ignored, too. They feel powerful when they do those things: large and in charge, they think. They are not. They are actually small and afraid, but they'll never, ever see or admit that.

In this episode, I've offered ten of the multitude of things a narcissist or other Hijackal will say to you to put you in your place, or so they think! In their worlds, they must be the top of the pile, and they honestly think that their needs, wants, thoughts, feelings, preferences, memories, whims, and demands should take precedence over everyone else's. Yes, they may do that in an overt, obvious, even grandiose way. They also may do it in a "I'm a victim" covert way. In fact, many times, they'll use both, just to cover their bases.

How to respond to this to save your sanity and stop second-guessing yourself? I offer you clear ways to work on that.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

• Why narcissistic Hijackals (in fact, all Hijackals) need to demean, dismiss, and discount you
• 10 phrases they use to hopefully gain power over you
• How to use your inner dialogue to not shrink when a narcissist is nasty
• Recognizing more ways that emotional abuse shows up in primary relationships with parents, partners, siblings, and adult children
• How to stick to the facts and respond accordingly

Do you need insights and strategies for mitigating and responding to emotional and verbal abuse? I'm here to help.

I wish you well.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Saturday Support Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community 

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#emotionallyabusive #nastythingsnarcissistssay #whatnarcissistssay #howtoneutralize #neutralizeemotionalabuse #neutralizingverbalabuse #yourinternaldialogue #notgoodenough

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #emergingempowered #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest 

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ugh! The narcissistic Hijackal falls silent, ignores you, and won't respond. What's up with that? What are they hoping to achieve? What's your internal dialogue? What ways are most effective to respond? That's today's episode.

So dismissive! Hijackals can treat you as though you're invisible, erased, and definitely not present. They want to impress upon you the contempt they feel for you. So, they fall silent.

Big power move...or, so they think! Until you understand the dynamics of this, you may be upset, distressed, and doing everything in your power to get the Hijackal to starting talking to you. Have you done that? What was the cost? I'll bet it was at the expense of your self-esteem at the very least!

Hijackals and other narcissistic folks--and other passive-aggressive people--want you to think they have power over you. When they can't win by talking, they try to by The Silent Treatment. It's nasty. For some of them, they do it because they don't know what else to do. Pathetic! For others, they do it to impress on you just how upset they are with you. Is it working?

So much of the BIG silence is emotionally abusive. I'm sure you've felt that, but have you allowed yourself to call it that? In this episode, I talk about seven ways that The Silent Treatment is emotionally abusive. After you listen, you'll be able to clearly see what's up with that in your relationship.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

• What Hijackals want to avoid by giving you The Silent Treatment
• Why narcissistic folks misguidedly think The Silent Treatment will work
• 7 ways to recognize The Silent Treatment as emotional abuse
• 6 ways NOT to respond to The Silent Treatment
• 4 MUST-DOS to respond to The Silent Treatment

If you're tired of the drama, the manipulation, and The Silent Treatment, I'm here to help.

I wish you well.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Saturday Support Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community 

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#silenttreatment #respondingtothesilenttreatment #whatsupwiththat #whatbulliesdo #thesilenttreamentisabusive

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #emergingempowered #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest 

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hijackals & other narcissistic people have neither thought nor intention of leveling any playing field. No, it's about the all important winning. Why? What can you do or say? Use the ideas in this episode to step back from the crazy-making! 

When you're in a relationship with a relatively healthy person, you work things out. In working them out together, you build trust and safety. It brings you closer.

Not so when you're dealing with narcissistic #Hijackals! They do not want to create emotional intimacy, so getting closer to them is really swooping in for the win. It is not something they can, or want to, sustain. You've likely noticed that.

Why do they have out-of-proportion responses when you ask something small from them? Sadly, everything threatens them, and they resist any form of healthy giving. Normally healthy people, when offended, have a reaction, cool down, and things can be repaired. Hijackals react by devaluing you, threatening, punishing, disregarding, discarding, or the power move of The Silent Treatment. Learn more about these tactics in this episode.

Also, learn four solid ways to respond when you recognize that you have been trying to fit in, please, or appease a person with narcissistic tendencies. Great steps to finding and reclaiming your personal power, the power to operate from your own thoughts, feelings, values, vision, beliefs, and desires. I know you don't desire move emotional abuse, right? You'll be empowered by taking these four steps!

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

• Most healthy enough relationships operate on fairness. Not so in a relationship with a #Hijackal.
• Why narcissistic Hijackals operate in their own self-interest
• Why no meaningful solutions are found to relationship difficulties with a narcissistic person
• Ways to respond to the warped sense of equality, fairness and justice
• Steps to be emerging empowered as you recognize the warp and respond

If you're exhausted and worn down by a toxic relationship, let's talk about how to be emerging empowered from this warped world of Hijackals. I'm here to help.

I wish you well.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Saturday Support Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community 

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#narcissistareunfair #neverequal #alwaysbetterthanme #needtowin #hijackalsneedtowin #oneupmanship #nothingisfair #hairlinesenseofjustice #narcissisticwould #narcissisticneeds @narcissistictendencies #warpedworld

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #emergingempowered #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest 

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You had no choice in the role a narcissistic parent created for you and assigned to you. You were stuck with it--while usually being quite unaware of it. It's just the way your family is, like it or not, right?

NOW, in this episode, see your assigned role(s) so you can shed them and choose again! 

In episode #201 on pseudomutuality, I talked about how #Hijackals like to paint a public picture of perfection on their families, which creating a private place of pain at home, within the family. Hijackals don't like the assigned roles I talk about in this episode to show in any way. It becomes a big family secret to them. In fact, they will deny that these roles exist:

"I love all of my wonderful children equally."

Now, we know that's not true. In fact, sometimes, it's a question of if they love any of them...or, anyone except themselves. (That's a topic for another time, though.)

In the episode, I mentioned these two definitions from Webster's dictionary. I'm including them here because some people think that scapegoats and black sheep are the same. There is an important distinction:

BLACK SHEEP: "a person who causes shame or embarrassment because of deviation from the accepted standards of their group."

SCAPEGOAT" "a person made to bear the blame for others or to suffer in their place."

Quite a difference when you're bearing the brunt of the role, particularly!

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

• How pseudomutuality creates a false front, masking the assigned roles a narcissistic parent gave you
• 8 different roles you may have observed or experienced within your family
• Why narcissistic, Hijackal parents assign these roles
• How the "ruler of the household" assigns the labels
• Why everyone in the household goes along with them
• How your assigned roles may still be affecting your self-esteem and adult relationships

If you recognize some issues your family of origin created, I'm here to help.

I wish you well.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Saturday Support Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Support Community 

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#rolesinanarcissisticfamily #narcissisticfamilyrules #beingascapegoat #goldenchild #blacksheepofthefamily #familyemotionalabuse

#borderlinepersonalitydisorder

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest 

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Power in relationships can be a very difficult and disturbing issue. Of course, if you have a Hijackal parent, partner, sibling, or adult child, you're well aware of that! This episode will give you new insights into solving ever-arising issues!

My guest, Mira Kirschenbaum, wrote in Why Couples Fight:

"A power move is anything we do or say that makes the other person feel disempowered."

Of course, it's all in the perception, however, if each of us is careful not to purposefully say or do something that is designed to make another feel disempowered, it's a great start!

So, are you responsible for feeling empowered? That's a big question we talk through during the episode.

As Mira says in a recent article on her website: ChestnutHillInstitute.com :

"If you have an 800-pound gorilla in your room--in this case, a gorilla of power imbalances and power struggles--you have to step up and make dealing with it a priority. Just the way you would if you came home and found an actual 800-pound gorilla in your room. The first step is just understanding the problem and taking it seriously. Then, doing what works to solve it."

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

• 6 Signs Power Problems are Poisoning Your Relationship
• The smartest thing to do when you feel disempowered in a relationship
• Why creating distance can be destructive in relationships sometimes
• Identifying power moves in you relationship
• A 3-Step process for resolving relationship conflict

Not all issues in a relationship have an equitable solution. Using Mira Kirschenbaum's 3-Step process is a great start!

warm regards,

Rhoberta

GUEST: MIRA KIRSHENBAUM

Mira has an international reputation as a therapist working with individuals, couples, and families. People from all over the world have come to seek her help, including royalty and people prominent in entertainment, business, medicine, law, sports, and, of course men and women in all walks of life. Mira has always made an effort to work with people who are disadvantaged.

Mira has lectured and done training at Harvard and made countless appearances on TV, radio, and in print. She’s appeared a number of times on the Today Show, CNN, and numerous daytime talk shows, and has been interviewed frequently in magazines such as Cosmo, Glamour, and Town and Country.

Mira was one of the pioneers of feminist therapy and family therapy in Boston. She was also a founding member of One Generation After in Boston, an organization for children of Holocaust survivors designed to educate the public about the Holocaust and the dangers of genocide and racism.

Throughout her career, Mira’s focus has been on giving people, particularly women, the tools they need to give themselves the lives they want and need. Her work has always been focused on empowerment within a full understanding of the person’s context.

FREE GIFT FROM MIRA KIRSHENBAUM:

Not at this time

CONTACT INFO FOR MIRA KIRSHENBAUM:

Website: https://www.mirakirshenbaum.com

Podcasts:

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mira-kirshenbaum-b7a57717/

Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/youcanjustcallmemira

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/mirakirshenbaum/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/MiraKirshenbaum

YouTube:

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Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER! I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.

FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @DrShaler

-------------------------------------------------------------

I WANT TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Support Circles now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Emerging Empowered Community Circle

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#MIRAKIRSHENBAUM #powertruinsrelationship #poweristhenemyoflove #powerintoxicrelationships #poweroveryourpartner #powerproblems #powermoves #powerinrelationships #relationshippoison #poisoningyourrelationship

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #hijackalabuse #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #drrhobertashaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #unhealthyrelationships #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #passiveaggressive #notgoodenough #relationshiphelp #verballyabusive #stopemotionalabuse #narcissisticabuse #emotionaltrauma #narcissism #psychopath #sociopath #emergingempowered

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When you're on guard every minute, hypervigilant about the next accusation, you might think I'm suggesting something impossible...maybe even crazy. I'm not.

It's important to recognize that you can stay in charge of yourself, no matter what kind of crazy-making the Hijackal or narcissist engages in.

Difficult? Yes, but not impossible. Worthwhile? Definitely!

Learn this invaluable approach to taking good care of yourself, even though you may be rattled daily by a Hijackal now.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

• Be hard on issues, Soft on self.
• Why Hijackals may NOT harden your heart: you won't give them your permission!
• Harden your attitude towards the Hijackal, but keep your heart safe.
• Hijackals don't care who they hurt.
• Do your best not to take it personally.

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

#hardenmyheart #hardenmyattitude #narcissiststakeandtake #hardenmyattitudetothenarcissist #heartopen

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist

#hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

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Everything is a potential deal breaker when all-or-nothing thinking prevails!

People who were raised in emotional abusive homes learn to think that way. If you are with one, you may be on the receiving end and need to understand and name it. You need to be able to do that.

If you were raised by an emotionally abusive parent, you may have learned to use all-or-nothing thinking as a safety mechanism, or a defense mechanism. You didn't choose it. You learned it. Now, it's wise to have a look at the behavior and see if it is still required, and/or serving you well.

Another name for black-or white- all-or-nothing thinking is "splitting." Here's a definition from Wikipedia:

"a failure in thinking to bring together the dichotomy of both positive and negative qualities in self and others into a realistic, cohesive whole."

That means that you get caught in pairs of opposites, with no consideration of all the possibilities in between. That doesn't leave many options, does it? Life is full of possibilities, changes, and growth points. When you--or someone you care about--gets stuck in all-or-nothing thinking, the richness is gone, and fear has replaced it.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

• How all-or-nothing thinking affects your inner dialogue, your self-talk
• The definition of "splitting"
• Why there is focus on extremes in all-or-nothing, black-and-white thinking
• How all-or-nothing thinking reflects fear of shame, blame, and criticism
• Six fears that underlie black-or-white thinking
• Chronic stress, anxiety, and depression related to distorted thinking
• 5 strategies to help you shift away from all-or-nothing thinking

Now you can see why it is SO important to recognize this pattern. If it's within you, you'll want to change it. If it's coming at you, understand it and make decisions about your relationship. I'm here to help.

I wish you well.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Saturday Support Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community 

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#allornothingthinking #blackorwhitethinking #crazy-making #livinginfearofshame #fearofshame #splitting #cognitivedistortion #seeingdownsidepotential #focusingonthenegative #borderlinepersonalitydisorder

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest 

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You know how some people and families both "put on a front: and are "a closed shop?" You can sense that something is off but the story they tell sounds good. They may be SO good at the story that you can't help but believe it. Why would you question it? And then, you marry into it and the legs fall off!

YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THIS!  

Mutuality is one of the three MUST-HAVES I talk about in order to have a healthy adult relationship. In my book, Kaizen for Couples, I described it this way:

"Mutuality is for emotional grown-ups. It is based on an interest in each other as whole, complex people living in the present. When dependence or do-dependence are consistently present in a relationship, mutuality cannot be. Mutuality, then, is a defining condition for a healthy mature relationship.

...When there are imbalances in mutuality between partners in a primary relationship, they can lead to significant psychological pain. This pain is elusive and hard to pin down or describe. It feels like a loss without a number: something's missing but what is it?

...Mutuality demands much more from you both. It requires your active interest in each other as different, complex and fascinating individuals.

...What is important in mutuality is that you magnify your attunement and responsiveness to each other."

Now imagine that you honesty believe that mutuality exists in the person you are creating a long-term relationship with, or exists in the family in which you are joining, and then, you find it doesn't. A false story was presented to look good to you, but it has no substance. In fact, the opposite is true. That's what happens when Pseudomutuality is presented.

Now you know why it is important to learn more and listen in.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

• What is Pseudomutuality
• How pseudomutuality compares with healthy mutuality ( Kaizen for Couples )
• The scam and sham of creating an agreed upon "family story" to look good to others
• The double bind of living within pseudomutuality
• Why it is crazy-making and will cause you to question your sanity
• Why the "appearance" of bonding in healthy ways is not necessarily what is true

Do you see more clearly now that the partner or family you have been experiencing this through is troubled? I'm here to help.

I wish you well.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Saturday Support Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community 

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#pseudomutuality #pretendingtobeloving #coveringupabuse #marriedintoanabusivefamily #superficialappearance #surfaceharmony #lieofloyalty #abusivefamily #coveringupabuse #pretendingtobefunctional #emotionalabusers

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest 

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

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Have you experienced a toxic boss? Were you one? Today's guest, Krister Ungerbock, admits to, at one time, being an aggressive boss. Maybe, even, a toxic one. He changed. Learn why and how it became important to him to shift, and how that lead to his writing 22 TALK SHIFTS: TOOLS TO TRANSFORM LEADERSHIP

When you have a toxic parent, you may pick up toxic behaviors. That can ruin your personal relationships, for sure. However, that can also have a huge, negative impact on how you lead in business. Krister learned that the hard way. He did see it, and knew he wanted to change it. That's self-awareness!

In this interview, Krister shares how autonomy at work is more effective than even a pay raise for many folks to feel valued and an integral part of the company. That's a SHIFT!

Would that work for you? Have you considered that shift? Making that shift can certainly change your relationships at home, too. Krister talks openly about how that went for him, too. Personal shifts have a ripple effect on all relationships.

This is a candid talk about personal change that lead to positive effects as the CEO of a company. As CEO of your life, these can apply to you, as well.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

• How Krister Ungerbock stopped himself from being a toxic boss
• Transcending a toxic relationship with father
• Examples of "toxic shifts"
• Tips to help with anger management
• What makes an apology acceptable
• Creating mutual trust and autonomy

If you are, were, or have been experiencing an aggressive boss or CEO, this episode is for you! Oh, and if you think your personal relationships may need an upgrade, it's for you, too!

warm regards,

Rhoberta

GUEST: KRISTER UNGERBOCK

Krister Ungerbock is a former CEO of a global tech company and a multilingual leadership communication expert. His work has appeared in NPR, Forbes, Inc., Fast Company, HR.com, Chief Executive, Recruiter.com and Entrepreneur. Prior to exiting corporate life at age 42, Krister was CEO of one of the largest family-owned software companies in the world. While leading the company to over 3,000% revenue growth, his team achieved remarkable employee engagement levels of 99.3%, won five consecutive Top Workplace Awards and became a dominant player in its market niche.

FREE GIFT FROM KRISTER UNGERBOCK:

Not at this time

CONTACT INFO FOR KRISTER UNGERBOCK :

Website: https://Krister.com

Podcasts:

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristeru/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/meetkrister

Instagram: 

Twitter: https://twitter.com/meetkrister

YouTube:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER! I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.

FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @DrShaler

-------------------------------------------------------------

I WANT TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Support Circles now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#22talkshifts #kristerungerbock #toxicfather #toxicex #aggressiveboss #aggressiveceo #toxicshifts #sincereapologies #angermanagement #angermanagementatwork #trustandautonomy #autonomyatwork #trustatwork

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #hijackalabuse #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #drrhobertashaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #unhealthyrelationships #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #passiveaggressive #notgoodenough #relationshiphelp #verballyabusive #stopemotionalabuse #narcissisticabuse #emotionaltrauma #narcissism #psychopath #sociopath #emergingempowered

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

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