Dan Savage, America's only advice columnist, answers your sex and relationship questions and yaps about politics. To record a question for Dan to be answered in a later podcast, record your question and send it to Q@Savage.Love, or call 206-302-2064. For a much longer version of the show, with no ads, visit savage.love and get yourself a subscription.
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We start the show with two calls concerning the "post nut" state of mind. One man hates that he becomes selfish and unresponsive so much that he chooses not to come at all. Another wonders if we should start calling it "post-nut confusion."
Just in time for Pride, it's a new After-Action Report! Hear the tale of Ian- a straight man who gave a man head for the first time. What were the circumstances of this premier dick-sucking? Would he do it again? Listen in, and find out.
On the Magnum, while poor Dan was holed up with the Covid, he reached out to his TV expert pal Ashley Ray (of the hit podcast "TV I say,") for a rundown of the best shows out there right now.
And, a straight ally is disturbed at the site of drunken revelry at Pride events. "Are you guys ok?" he seems to ask.
Send us your questions and comments!
Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064
This episode is brought to you by Good Vibes. In celebration of Pride get 15% off by going to goodvibes.com/savage and to use the promo code SAVAGE15 at checkout.
This episode is brought to you by Feeld, a dating app where the open-minded can meet the like-minded. Download Feeld on the App Store or Google Play.
This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial plus 25% off an annual subscription when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.
Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, homosexual, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From condoms to conservative Christians, camming to the Campsite Rule and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since 1991, actually.
Savage Lovecast Episode 971
Episode 971
Tuesday, June 10, 2025 • Duration 59:19
When she was in high school, she surprised herself and delighted her boyfriend by squirting all over his face. But the incident alarmed her enough to set off a neurotic need to pee before every sexual encounter. How can she get out of her head about it, and allow for spontaneity in her current, awesome sex life?
A woman is in an in a polyamorous, fantastic, committed relationship full of compersion. Sounds great right? The problem? When they get "activated" he tells her he needs to be with someone who is more intellectually aligned with him. Because you see, he has a Phd in engineering, and she has a mere bachelor in fine arts. When he says things like this, is it just an "avoidant deactivation tactic?"
Let's move on. We are so excited about our guest this week! Nico Carney is a Brooklyn based comedian whose stand-up covers his experiences as a trans man from the South. He and Dan talk about how using humor works so much better than scolding to bring people in to understanding of trans experiences. They talk about genital preferences, and the benefits of interrogating your desires. And, FYI, after coming out in college, Nico still bagged hot chicks. Not a problem. A little is on the Micro, and all of it is on the Magnum.
And, do you have problems? Serious ones? This gal's problem is that her boyfriend loses her lighter sometimes.
Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064
This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.
This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Right now, Helix is offering 20% off site wide. Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now.
This episode is brought to you by Liberator: makers of pillows, shapes and furniture for new exciting sex. Go to Liberator.com/Savage or type “Savage” into the search bar for private VIP access to deals that are too good to announce on this podcast!
Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, animal lover, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From squirting, to sexting, kissing to kink and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since you were a little, bitty baby.
Savage Lovecast Episode 962
Episode 962
Tuesday, April 8, 2025 • Duration 56:27
A gay man and his boyfriend are in an open relationship. His boyfriend forbids the caller from messing around with anyone in their friend group. But this friend group is super-kinky and super-horny, regularly propositioning the caller for naughty fun. It's getting hard to say no...
A trans guy still has "female" on his birth certificate. He wonders if it's too dangerous to try to get it changed at this perilous moment, and also if he should be stockpiling testosterone. Dan brings on Diana Adams- the Executive Director of Chosen Family Law Center, to discuss strategy for trans folks.
On the Magnum, a promising study just came out about a possible risk reduction for bacterial vaginosis that treats...wait for it...men! Dr. Jen Gunter, an OB/GYN and expert in vulvovaginal conditions is on to talk about this study- a tiny bit of optimism for women's health.
A man just got dumped by his new girlfriend. Why? Because he invited her to the Hump! Film Festival.
Sounds like he dodged a bullet...
Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064
This episode is brought to you by Liberator: makers of pillows, shapes and furniture for new exciting sex. Go to Liberator.com/Savage or type “Savage” into the search bar for private VIP access to deals that are too good to announce on this podcast!
Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage
This episode is brought to you by Dame Products, Sex toys designed by Women, For Women. For 20% off your first order, go to Dame.com and use offer code SAVAGE20
Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, lover, podcaster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From trans rights, to BDSM, feminism to polyamory and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since the Fonz jumped that shark.
Savage Lovecast Episode 961
Episode 961
Tuesday, April 1, 2025 • Duration 47:44
A woman has made a new exciting friend! But this friend ditches her other friends and treats them as disposable. Is the caller next?
Here's the kind of pragmatic question and answer you've come to expect from the Savage Lovecast: Is it safe to douche with non-potable water?
On the Magnum, folks have been asking for a menopause expert for a while now, and we've got her. Dr. Stacy De-Lin has been a proud member of the Planned Parenthood team since 2013. She gives us the basics on peri-menopause, menopause, and how to mitigate the negatives. Women have been chronically under-treated, and there are medications that can help.
And, a man living in New Zealand is dating a guy in an open, long-distance relationship. The boyfriend lives in a repressive country where he can't safely be out. The caller enjoys their low stakes, open relationship, but wonders if he should invite him to live together in New Zealand to help him to get a visa and escape.
Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064
This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.
This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Right now, Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders. Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now.
This episode is brought to you by Hims, providing affordable access to ED treatment, online. Start your free online visit today at Hims.com/Savage.
Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From omni-amory, to monogamy, kink to asexuality, and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since disco made it's debut.
Savage Lovecast Episode 960
Episode 960
Tuesday, March 25, 2025 • Duration 57:07
A man chanced upon his wife's journals when he was cleaning the closets. He simply couldn't help himself. He read some of them, and learned about her erotic desires in a way he hadn't known before. It made him fall in love with her all over again. But now what? Should he tell her what he did?
Blindfold magic! A woman had a transcendent experience when her boyfriend blindfolded her and then...removed the blindfold. There he was! And he was suddenly more beautiful than ever.
On the Magnum, Dan welcomes writer, and actor Jeffery Self. What do two introverted, homosexual men have to talk about? Plenty, it turns out! Self's new memoir is deeply personal and fearless. He and Dan chat about the pros and cons of male sex work, why straight men are so jealous of gay men, and the deep dread the words "gay cruise" inspire in them both. Also, they take a call from a woman whose boyfriend is unaware of how stinky his balls are. So you don't want to miss that.
And, a woman's boyfriend is wracked with guilt when she gives him deep, gag-inducing blowjobs. She loves it, but he can't get over the misogynist associations.
Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064
This episode is brought to you by Dame Products, Sex toys designed by Women, For Women. For 20% off your first order, go to Dame.com and use offer code SAVAGE20
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/SAVAGE and get on your way to being your best self.
This episode is brought to you by Beam’s Dream Cocoa Powder- packed with all-natural ingredients to help improve sleep. For a limited time, Beam is offering my listeners up to 40% off. Go to shopbeam.com/SAVAGE and use code SAVAGE at checkout.
Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From polyamory, to BDSM, gay rights to sexual health and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since the 1800s.
Savage Lovecast Episode 959
Episode 959
Tuesday, March 18, 2025 • Duration 55:32
Squarespace
This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.
Helix Sleep
This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Right now, Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders. Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now.
Feeld
This episode is brought to you by Feeld, a dating app where the open-minded can meet the like-minded. Download Feeld on the App Store or Google Play.
Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From throuples, to adult babies, women's rights to tantric sex and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since the Kennedy administration.
Savage Lovecast Episode 958
Episode 958
Tuesday, March 11, 2025 • Duration 47:58
A woman is seeing a guy who only grudgingly goes down south. Sex for them always begins with her giving him a BJ, but because they have a Dom/sub dynamic, he feels he doesn't owe her anything. Here's a fun word scramble game that astute Savage Lovecast listeners can play! Unscramble these letters to form the acronym that will give the caller clear direction on what to do: TMAFD
A man is curious, confused, and bewildered about what lesbians mean when they say they have sex.
On the Magnum, Dan's been talking about bisexual men quite a bit on the show. Are they the luckiest bastards ever, or do they have a rough row to hoe? For this very special "What Are You Doing?" segment, Dan brings on Sam Lent who self-identifies as "A shameless woman who seeks bi men to fuck." How does she search for them? How do bi and straight men differ? And why are the men of Denver so very into pegging? Sam thinks bi men are a national treasure, and we think Sam is pretty awesome.
A woman's pal has an OnlyFans account. Sometimes this friend stays overnight at the caller's house. The caller saw that her buddy had filmed a session from her house and put it up as content without consulting the caller first. Is it prudish to feel like her home is off-limits?
Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064
This episode is brought to you by Blueland. Going eco has never been easier. Revolutionary, refillable cleaning essentials eliminating single-use plastic. Right now, get 15% off your first order by going to Blueland.com/Savage
This episode is brought to you by Hims, providing affordable access to ED treatment, online. Start your free online visit today at Hims.com/Savage.
This episode is brought to you by Dame Products, Sex toys designed by Women, For Women. For 20% off your first order, go to Dame.com and use offer code SAVAGE20
Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project.From polyamory, to BDSM, gay rights to sexual health and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since the 1800s.
Savage Lovecast Episode 957
Episode 957
Tuesday, March 4, 2025 • Duration 58:22
Age gap relationships! Sometimes they are a-ok. Sometimes they are not. A woman is having an argument with her boyfriend about whether his previous relationship was dicey because of the 9-year age difference. She dated a younger person too, but the circumstances were different. Dan Savage (who knows from age gap relationships) weighs in.
A man in a throuple with two ladies can't sleep because their bed gets too toasty at night. Somebody call 911!
On the Magnum, we welcome back sex & culture writer Magdalene Taylor to talk about gooning, and the gooners who goon all day long. (Gooning is obsessive porn use.) She and Dan talk about conspiracy theories around keeping young men on their phones and disgruntled. And, she and Dan discuss a call from a woman who wants to make sure her NEXT boyfriend wants to have as much sex as she does.
A gay man was in a casual relationship for 9 months. His hook-up wouldn't ever host because he said he had a "roommate." Guess what! That roommate was actually his husband. Now that the caller is over the burn of being lied to, he's considering letting the sessions continue because the sex is so good. Should he?
Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064
This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.
This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Right now, Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders. Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now.
Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage
This episode is brought to you by Adam & Eve. Right now, go to AdamAndEve.com/Savage and pick any 4 sex toys for just $20! This is such a great deal- go to AdamandEve.com/savage without delay
Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From adult babies, to thruples, trans rights to pansexuality and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since the 1800s.
Savage Lovecast Episode 956
Episode 956
Tuesday, February 25, 2025 • Duration 51:21
A woman's 74 year-old father has started dating a 19 year-old woman, and no one in her family besides her is batting an eye. She is horrified and refuses to meet the lass or speak to her father until the relationship ends. Is she being too harsh?
A British poly man has an American girlfriend who comes to visit now and again. She asked him to take her to a sex party, but there's a hitch. She screams to kingdom come during sex. The caller is worried that his more reserved British sex party compatriots will find her conduct unseemly.
On the Magnum, Dan simply couldn't resist bringing on Sunshyne for a "What Are You Doing?" Sunshyne is a shaggy haired, muppet-faced adonis! He models for multi-national corporations AND has a fin-dom hustle on the side. He and Dan talk about his work, how he got there, and whether women or men give better head.
A gay man and his boyfriend do not agree about sex. His boyfriend wants monogamy and routine, unadventurous sex. The caller yearns for more sex, and more variety. His boyfriend reluctantly agreed to let him see other people, but only if he uses a condom and tells him every time. But when he does tell, his boyfriend freaks out. So the caller has been sneaking around, seeing sex workers, without using condoms. How can they reconcile?
Spoiler! They probably can't.
Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064
This episode is brought to you by Dame Products, Sex toys designed by Women, For Women. For 20% off your first order, go to Dame.com and use offer code SAVAGE20
This episode is brought to you by Feeld, a dating app where the open-minded can meet the like-minded. Download Feeld on the App Store or Google Play.
This episode is brought to you by Blueland. Going eco has never been easier. Revolutionary, refillable cleaning essentials eliminating single-use plastic. Right now, get 15% off your first order by going to Blueland.com/Savage
Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From sex parties, to pegging, gay rights to monogamy and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since the 1800s.
Savage Lovecast Episode 955
Episode 955
Tuesday, February 18, 2025 • Duration 56:59
Pages and pages of escort ads. That's what she found on her boyfriend's phone when she was looking for concert tickets. He insisted he wasn't actually contacting anybody, but was using them for his spank bank. Should she believe him? Is this a problem?
A man recently come out as bi, and has a boyfriend in an open relationship. He sees all the gay orgies that are available to him, but wants to get in on some straight sex party action. Where can he find them? How do they work? Hello?
On the Magnum, we welcome back fellow advice-slinger Meredith Goldstein of the "Love Letters" advice column and podcast. They talk about how to keep your cool when in the throws of new relationship energy, a mistreated unicorn, and whether choosing a girlfriend based on her anatomy makes you a superficial jerk or not.
A woman has found a fascinating new partner. He had a spontaneous full-body orgasm at the cafe on their first date. Then, when she bedded him down, she saw that his genitals feature a deeply concave area that gives him a lot of pleasure. She's having a blast! But what's up with him?
Q@Savage.Love. 206-302-2064
This episode is brought to you by Hims, providing affordable access to ED treatment, online. Start your free online visit today at Hims.com/Savage.
This episode is brought to you by Feeld, a dating app where the open-minded can meet the like-minded. Download Feeld on the App Store or Google Play.
This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.
Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From unicorns, to monogamy, womens rights to sexual health and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since the 1800s.
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