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Claire describes such familiar themes. Like what it’s like to look back at how her childhood dogs were treated with the knowledge she has now. How she thought she knew quite a bit about dogs until Ozzy came along.


Ozzy was adopted from a charity, who had done a pretty great job preparing prospective adopters for what it’s like to bring a new dog into the home, and yet Claire, like many of us, still underestimated the reality, partly because she adopted Ozzy when he was still a puppy.


She talks about how it was particularly hard to be the one spending most of the time with the dog home alone and to feel like her partner was the one who just got to do the fun things with the dog, and how focusing on relaxation protocols was something that helped really well.


It had also helped to not walk Ozzy every day and we discuss what it takes to break through the socialization that exists around having to walk your dog every day to be considered a dog guardian.


We also talk about how Sarah Stremming and Hannah Brannigan inspired a “shut up and show up” mentality to bring about change in the dog world. About how the one tip Claire has for others is to put less pressure onthemselves: “Noone is going to die.”, and about what allowed her to change careers and move into dog training.

Links:

Claire's website: https://www.motherpuppersdogtraining.co.uk/

Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/motherpuppersdogtraining/

https://www.instagram.com/ozzyfromromania/

The dogwalking company Claire's partner Matt walks for: https://fetchcambridge.co.uk/ 

Dog trainer Sarah Stremming:

https://sarahstremming.com/, and

Hannah Brannigan:
https://hannahbrannigan.dog/

Episode Website:
https://kajsavanoverbeek.com/037-claire-martin-ozzy-of-motherpuppers-on-shutting-up-and-showing-up/

If the podcast resonates with you and you want to dig a little deeper, coaching is the tool to help you cope better with stressful situations, makes you more confident and daring, and all around feel better.

We're starting a new small group coaching session in July. Read all about it and find more info here:

https://kajsavanoverbeek.com/small-group-coaching/

Get on a free consult to see if it's for you here:

https://kajsavanoverbeek.com/schedule-your-free-consult/

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Warning: this episode references euthanasia

What do you do when you have been dealt an emotional blow, and need time to process that, but time is the one thing you don't have?
Because you have to get back to work so you can make rent for example?
Or because you're parenting small children and you're happy to get 5 minutes of quiet time on the toilet?

This episode tries to give some practical tips as to what you can do in situations like that using the low-key of example of getting over a dog training set-back as well as the example of not having been able to rescue a dog from behavioral euthanasia as a dog professional.

If the podcast resonates with you and you want to dig a little deeper, coaching is the tool to help you cope better with stressful situations, makes you more confident and daring, and all around feel better.

We're starting a new small group coaching session in July. Read all about it and find more info here:

https://kajsavanoverbeek.com/small-group-coaching/

Get on a free consult to see if it's for you here:

https://kajsavanoverbeek.com/schedule-your-free-consult/

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If you follow any kind of dog related social media, then you will know Georgie, where she posts under the handle @trickwoofs.

You will have seen the lovely whimsical cartoons she draws about life with a reactive dog, which are so extremely on point they always make me laugh.

A particular cartoon comes to mind that has the guardian and their dog navigating the urban jungle that is the city, James Bond style, ducking behind walls and sneaking around corners, all in an attempt to avoid triggers.

 

The topics we discuss are as diverse as Georgie’s interests.

We talk about compassion fatigue in the dog training world, the parallels to raising a human child, learning to love frustration, following your passion and almost feeling like you’re not worthy of it, and so much more.

 

Did you know, Georgie transitioned from a modeling career to dog training?

Many people wanting to make a career switch in life will recognize the little voice that Georgie describes. The one that asks the question: Could I really be worthy of making a living doing the thing I love?

 

I ask Georgie about compassion fatigue in the dog world and the dog rescue world in particular.

She describes it as no longer feeling anything when you know you should be feeling something. It’s like the body shuts down to all emotions.

The question becomes. How does one prevent or overcome it? Georgie’s short answer is by finding community and talking about it! To not believe that there is some kind of limit below which it is no longer okay to ask for help.

She also recommends finding what works for you when it comes to doing a bodily reset. For her it’s yoga and breathwork, but for someone it might be boxing or rock climbing.

 

We talk about allowing emotions in ours dogs and ourselves similar to what we do with our children and not feeling the pressure to of needing to respond to something.

 

And of course, we talk about her art, and her other project which is the development of a treat dispensing muzzle. What keeps her going? What allows her to press pause when needed? What has she learned about failure and also:

How DOES she manage to combine all the things she does (and she does a LOT)?

 

Links:

The Trickwoofs website: https://www.trickwoofs.com/

Trickwoofs on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/trickwoofs/

And on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/trickwoofs

Episode Website:
https://kajsavanoverbeek.com/031-georgie-of-trickwoofs-on-compassion-fatigue-in-the-dog-training-world-the-parallels-with-raising-a-human-child-learning-to-love-frustration-and-more/

If the podcast resonates with you and you want to dig a little deeper, coaching is the tool to help you cope better with stressful situations, makes you more confident and daring, and all around feel better.

We're starting a new small group coaching session in July. Read all about it and find more info here:

https://kajsavanoverbeek.com/small-group-coaching/

Get on a free consult to see if it's for you here:

https://kajsavanoverbeek.com/schedule-your-free-consult/

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Does your partner brush off your dog's reaction like it was nothing? Don't they understand the concept op threshold and the importance of limiting reactions?
It's enough to make you fume!
What could be going on on their end though?

Is your partner shouting at the dog? Do you so want to get in their face and tell them that's not acceptable?
What could they be going through?

Are people telling you to stay calm, because it's your anxiety that is making the vet visits problematic for your dog?
What could be behind them saying this?

No you can never know what another person's thinking, and yet there are instances when it can come in useful to at least guess at it.

Doing so can help you regulate your own emotions, come up with an appropriate response both in the moment and at a later time, and it can drastically reduce arguments and fights.

That's what I talk about in this episode.

If the podcast resonates with you and you want to dig a little deeper, coaching is the tool to help you cope better with stressful situations, makes you more confident and daring, and all around feel better.

We're starting a new small group coaching session in July. Read all about it and find more info here:

https://kajsavanoverbeek.com/small-group-coaching/

Get on a free consult to see if it's for you here:

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This 50th jubilee episode of Ruff Around the Edges is in Dutch!
Come back next episode for more English language content.

[Waarschuwing: Rond de 20 minuten horen we Thiseas even blaffen]

Maak kennis met Isabelle, het baasje van Thiseas, een adoptiehond uit Griekenland 

Na een stressvolle start in het leven (Thiseas wordt met 6 weken met een gebroken pootje langs de weg gevonden en nadien ook nog met het vliegtuig naar zij nieuwe thuis vervoerd) is al snel duidelijk dat Thiseas meer nodig heeft dan de “hij moet het maar leren”-aanpak.

Isabelle vertelt hoe ze echt leerde kijken naar wie haar hond was, wie zij was en wat ze samen konden doen waar ze allebei lol aan hadden.

 

Eén van de dingen die Isabelle noemt is iets, dat ik nog niet vaak zo mooi expliciet heb horen benoemen.

Ze vertelt dat we als mens al gauw geneigd zijn om te kijken naar wat de hond moeilijk vindt en ons daar dan qua training op te focussen, terwijl het juist heel positief kan zijn op iets compleet anders te trainen, iets waar de hond en jij plezier uit halen. Dat zorgt voor meer zelfvertrouwen in de hond draagt zo op indirecte wijze bijdraagt aan verbetering van het “probleem”.

Zo voorkom je de frustratie die vaak bij beide partijen ontstaat door alleen op het probleemgedrag te trainen.

 

Wat ze ook heel duidelijk maakt is dat je op je buikgevoel moet vertrouwen. Als je zelf doorhebt dit werkt niet en je dat ook constant voelt, vertrouw er dan ook op.

 

Dan het thema “andere mensen” en hoe die met je hond omgaan. Hoe laat je de frustratie los rondom het niet opvolgen van je instructie? Wat als je al 100 keer aan je familie hebt gevraagd om geen oogcontact met je hond te maken als ze binnekomen? En ze doen het gewoon niet? Hoe zorg je dat je dat je niet gek laat maken?

Isabelle legt uit welk inzicht haar daar veel geholpen heeft.

Hoe ze heeft geleerd om geen probleem meer te hebben met kritiek van anderen.

Wat doe je met ongevraagd advies?

 

De kracht van het omgaan met gelijkgestemden en het belang om je eigen twijfels te kunnen delen met anderen komt ook aan bod, net als het schuldgevoel als je eens voor jezelf en niet voor je hond kiest. Ook daar vertelt Isabelle hoe ze dat oppakt.

 

Verder komt het topic van medicatie voorbij. Juist een podcast aflevering van Ruff Around the Edges (die met Annie Phenix) tipte Isabelle om op tijd contact op te nemen met een gedragsdeskundige toen ze zag dat Thiseas begon te fixeren op reflecties. Medicatie laat hem juist meer zichzelf zijn in plaats van minder.

 

Als laatste hebben we het ook nog over “adopt, don’t shop” in het licht van de flinke rugzak die adoptiehonden soms met zich meedragen.

 

Links:

Thiseas op Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thiseas.the.kokoni/

 

Daniëlla van Paws in Touch: https://pawsintouch.be/

Paws in Touch op Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/pawsintouch/

 

Nina van Tilbeurgh op Instagram:

If the podcast resonates with you and you want to dig a little deeper, coaching is the tool to help you cope better with stressful situations, makes you more confident and daring, and all around feel better.

We're starting a new small group coaching session in July. Read all about it and find more info here:

https://kajsavanoverbeek.com/small-group-coaching/

Get on a free consult to see if it's for you here:

https://kajsavanoverbeek.com/schedule-your-free-consult/

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If only you knew you would get there in the end, then the setbacks wouldn't be so hard to bear.

If you just had someone who could guarantee you that, yes, your dog's going to go after a couple more cyclists and there will be 4 more periods of regression, but for sure 100% guaranteed they're going to get there, then that would probably make it easier to deal with the hard times, wouldn't it?

Knowing that spring is coming makes it easier to get through the winter (well, the winters in my neck of the wood at least, which aren't "great" in my opinion).

So how can we bottle a bit of that thinking and use it to our benefit?
That's what this episode is about.

Episode Website:
https://kajsavanoverbeek.com/mindset-episode-020-how-to-believe-in-overall-success-so-you-can-work-through-setbacks/

If the podcast resonates with you and you want to dig a little deeper, coaching is the tool to help you cope better with stressful situations, makes you more confident and daring, and all around feel better.

We're starting a new small group coaching session in July. Read all about it and find more info here:

https://kajsavanoverbeek.com/small-group-coaching/

Get on a free consult to see if it's for you here:

https://kajsavanoverbeek.com/schedule-your-free-consult/

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Ali was from London but now lives in Maryland

We talk about how she got into the business of dog training, which has a little something to do with her German Shepherd cross Indie.

We talk about the widespread misunderstanding that all dogs should love all dogs and I may or may not tell an anecdote of me hugging a stranger to try and show them that they wouldn’t appreciate being crowded either. Spoiler alert: it didn’t work.

 

Ali also explains something that I think is amazing:

She tells new clients to first take a break from everything (like training) for a week or so, so they can reconnect with all the reasons why they love their dog in the first place.

Another tough nut to crack for most of us is that of questioning authority. Ali had fewer difficulties there as asking “Why?” comes naturally to her. My hope is that by listening to Ali talk, more people will feel free to do the same. 

Ali’s training philosophy is that she wants to provide people with the skills that allow them to be able to tackle possible future setbacks, since it serves us well to take into account that your anxious dog will probably keep showing some anxiety from time to time, despite all the training effort you put in.

Speaking of training and being a trainer, working 80 hours a week is no exception in the dog world and at first it wasn’t for Ali either.

We talk about all things dog professional:

The emotional burden of being a dog trainer, the taking on the setback and emotions of your clients, not earning enough to make a living, and giving away a part of you every time so that there’s less and less of you to go around.

 

So, how did she manage to find that elusive work-life balance?

Upon moving to the USA she completely restructured her business and she explains what that looks like.

Her advice to aspiring dog trainers: Don’t try to be everything to all people.

 

And finally, there’s Ali’s summary of her thoughts on expectation, frustration and celebration. It’s so on point, that I would be remiss if I didn’t write it down here:

Manage expectation, minimize frustration, maximize celebration

Links:

Ali’s website: https://rebarkable.com/

Find Ali on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/re.barkable/

Ali’s podcast “Ask Ali” on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/nl/podcast/ask-ali-a-professional-dog-trainer-answers-your-dog/id1586671078

and on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/49evBFpTbFUdOakjRA6FTV?si=21ad9666aa1d4e27

Email her: woof @ rebarkable.com

EPIDOSE WEBSITE:

If the podcast resonates with you and you want to dig a little deeper, coaching is the tool to help you cope better with stressful situations, makes you more confident and daring, and all around feel better.

We're starting a new small group coaching session in July. Read all about it and find more info here:

https://kajsavanoverbeek.com/small-group-coaching/

Get on a free consult to see if it's for you here:

https://kajsavanoverbeek.com/schedule-your-free-consult/

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Do you ever have a hard time relaxing after something stressful happens?

You want to be in control of your emotions so your bad mood doesn't rub off on your dog or others around you.

If you're angry at something, you want to calm down so you don't accidentally start a fight by lashing out at another person or so that you don't end up being unnecessarily harsh with your dog.

My guess is that one of your strategies is to focus on regaining calmness as quickly as possible, by doing some version of a relaxation exercise.

That's skipping an important step though, one that might allow you to forsake the relaxation exercises altogether.

It's one of the things that have had the biggest impact on my quality of life and I am sharing it with you in this episode.

https://kajsavanoverbeek.com/mindset-episode-019-the-best-way-to-relax-is-not-what-you-think/

If the podcast resonates with you and you want to dig a little deeper, coaching is the tool to help you cope better with stressful situations, makes you more confident and daring, and all around feel better.

We're starting a new small group coaching session in July. Read all about it and find more info here:

https://kajsavanoverbeek.com/small-group-coaching/

Get on a free consult to see if it's for you here:

https://kajsavanoverbeek.com/schedule-your-free-consult/

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Jumy is a positive reinforcement horse trainer from  the U.A.E.  who opened her own livery yard, malath paddock paradise, 3 years ago, but she’s been in the industry for 13 years already.

I ask lots of no doubt cringe worthy questions, as I know nothing about horses, and we touch upon a ton of things.

Of course I want to know how Jumy ended up in the force free training world.

Unlike many dog guardians it wasn’t because she had exhausted punitive methods or because her horse had behavioral problems. 

Rather it was trick training that sparked the idea of using positive reinforcement training to train all kinds of behavior. If you can use it to teach a horse tricks, why couldn’t you use it to teach other behaviors after all?

Being a trailblazer had both upsides and downsides.

The biggest positive was that she never fell into any kind of trap of wanting to be able to do it all and know it all at once. She simply had to follow a try-as-you-go path of discovery.

When her clients find her though, it usually is because they are experiencing problems with their horses.  So we discuss Jumy’s approach to dealing with horse guardians who may be using tools on their horses that she doesn’t necessarily agree with. 

Her assumption is that the guardian loves their horse. She never wants to shame them or make the feel guilty about their choice of tool. Rather she lets them draw their own conclusions.

 So what about the differences?  With the horse being a prey animal and the dog being a predator, Jumy explains how that affects the required rate of reinforcement.

 Then there is natural horsemanship. Jumy explains her views on that and how horses who are trained with that method can mentally shut down.

Naturally, I ask about her dogs who live at the stables and are allowed to free roam. Funnily enough, they chill most of the time, unless they are breaking up horse fights or they decide to come along on a hack with the horses, that is.

Finally, Jumy explains her criteria for canceling a session with a horse when she isn’t in the right mindset herself, and what the alternatives are, such as adapting the type of the session to her energy levels.

Links:

https://kajsavanoverbeek.com/028-jumy-on-no-longer-wanting-to-be-the-only-r-plus-horse-trainer-in-the-u-a-e/

Jumy on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jumys.horses/

Jumy’s livery yard: https://www.malathpaddockparadise.com/

Tango, the miniature horse: https://www.instagram.com/tangotheminiature/

Tango stacking rings: https://www.instagram.com/p/BY0VktphmWH/

The dogs who inhabit Mallath Paddock Paradise:

If the podcast resonates with you and you want to dig a little deeper, coaching is the tool to help you cope better with stressful situations, makes you more confident and daring, and all around feel better.

We're starting a new small group coaching session in July. Read all about it and find more info here:

https://kajsavanoverbeek.com/small-group-coaching/

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This podcast episode is a reply to an email I received from someone on my email-list.

They wrote:
I was constantly trying to manage between work, my dogs, my almost adult kids, my house, a big yard with a lot of plants, my husband, my extended family, and some time for myself!

Sound familiar?

You're juggling all the things, but no matter the effort, it seems like something or someone is always suffering, because you never manage to get it quite right.
 Guilt is inevitable. Spend time on one thing and the other thing suffers.

1) Is that even true though? That someone is always suffering?
2)  And are you even spending your energy where you want to spend it? Are you living in line with your priorities?

These are the two main topics I  discuss in this podcast episode.

If the podcast resonates with you and you want to dig a little deeper, coaching is the tool to help you cope better with stressful situations, makes you more confident and daring, and all around feel better.

We're starting a new small group coaching session in July. Read all about it and find more info here:

https://kajsavanoverbeek.com/small-group-coaching/

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Grab your dog and plan a dog walk or two.  Better yet, sit down, grab pen and paper and take notes. This episode is long and chock-full of wisdom. 

Here are just some of the things Haley of @paws.andreflect talk about:

• Why  we choose to train the behaviors we train
• Choice points: recognizing what you’re feeling and choosing to do something about it in a healthy and productive way rather than letting your feelings ruin your day.

(What Haley describes are actually techniques you will learn in coaching with me as well).

• Choosing the metrics you use to measure success: the recovery time after a reaction rather than if your dog reacts
• Knowing who to trust as a trainer with all the contradictory advice out there
• When is good good enough?
• The law of diminishing marginal returns
• What giving your dog freedom means

But also:

• Positive punishment and how to have respectful conversations with people who have different views and opinions
• Taking the leap to become a full-time self-employed writer about all things dog
• Imposter syndrome and the nagging question of “Am I  good enough?”
• Embarking on van life and the thought process behind it

Find Haley, her husband Sean, their van Hermes and their blue heeler Scout here:

https://pawsandreflect.blog/

https://www.instagram.com/paws.andreflect/

https://podcasts.apple.com/nl/podcast/paws-and-reflect/id1645967746

https://open.spotify.com/show/1Eu3BJt11SLdDeALOd6RVq?si=07654b34d5fd4832

Episode website:
https://kajsavanoverbeek.com/027-haley-scout-and-sean-on-finding-out-where-you-and-your-dog-fit-in-the-dogworld/

If the podcast resonates with you and you want to dig a little deeper, coaching is the tool to help you cope better with stressful situations, makes you more confident and daring, and all around feel better.

We're starting a new small group coaching session in July. Read all about it and find more info here:

https://kajsavanoverbeek.com/small-group-coaching/

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Would you categorize stress as a negative emotion? Are you willing to feel it? 

What do you do when something stressful happens on a walk? 
The answer to that question might already give you the answer to the first two questions.

Do you compound your stress with anger at the dog guardian of the out-of-control dog accosting yours? Or do you blame yourself for having gotten yourself and/or your dog in that situation?

How could you handle things differently? One of the answers is to look at stress as a neutral thing. To not immediately place stress on the "bad" side of the "emotions divide".

Will that cause you to think of stress lightly? And make you inadvertently end up in more stressful situations? 
I don't believe so and in this episode, I explain why.

https://kajsavanoverbeek.com/bonus-episode-017-stress-how-to-feel-it-and-think-about-it-differently/

If the podcast resonates with you and you want to dig a little deeper, coaching is the tool to help you cope better with stressful situations, makes you more confident and daring, and all around feel better.

We're starting a new small group coaching session in July. Read all about it and find more info here:

https://kajsavanoverbeek.com/small-group-coaching/

Get on a free consult to see if it's for you here:

https://kajsavanoverbeek.com/schedule-your-free-consult/

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Leah Lykos, a dog behaviorist out of Chattanooga Tennessee and guardian to three dogs, Eva, Biggie, and Mia explains how her focus is on movement and somatic work. That makes sense given that she operates from the philosophy that for dogs even more so than for humans there is no separation of mind and body.

We discuss something new to me: resistance feeding.

The idea behind resistance feeding is to not control the dog's behavior but to provide an appropriate outlet for it.

Everything is always on a spectrum, so we discuss how to know if you're allowing stress to dissipate or adding to the dog's stress.

In that same sense of knowing if something is helpful or not, we touch on the concept of your dog as a mirror. When is hurting to see it that way and when is it helping?

Leah explains how she differentiates between people who are already so aware of their own stress and so focused on solving for that, that it inhibits them in working with their dog,

and people who are so detached from their body and their feelings. that they have no idea they may be projecting onto their dog.

From there we dig into the inner work we get to do thanks to our dogs.

When you have trouble connecting with your dog, what part of yourself do you have trouble connecting with or accepting?

How does understanding your dog help to understand yourself?

How do we regulate our own nervous system?

 

Leah explains that it is her daily work to figure out how she can stay passionate about what she's doing, without getting completely wrapped up in every single case.

Links:

Leah's website: https://www.caninemovementlab.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/caninemovementlab/

The YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSlbjJXVMBxSGBgkbNWXOZw

Episode website: https://kajsavanoverbeek.com/035-leah-lykos-of-canine-movement-lab-on-somatic-work-and-your-dog-as-your-mirror/

If the podcast resonates with you and you want to dig a little deeper, coaching is the tool to help you cope better with stressful situations, makes you more confident and daring, and all around feel better.

We're starting a new small group coaching session in July. Read all about it and find more info here:

https://kajsavanoverbeek.com/small-group-coaching/

Get on a free consult to see if it's for you here:

https://kajsavanoverbeek.com/schedule-your-free-consult/

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UK veterinarian Grace and I talk about her Romanian Rescue dog Piper and how being the guardian of a challenging dog has impacted her work as a veterinarian.
What were the advantages she had, being a vet already, in dealing with her dog?

We also talk about all the terms and certifications being thrown around that relate to animal behavior and training. Are there vet behaviorists in the UK? Who can call themselves that?

Did you know you can do a master's level studies in animal behavior in the UK?

But also, did you know many veterinarians have not been taught about dog body language in vet school?

How does she start the conversation about behavior with dog guardians who may be oblivious to the plight of their dog?

And what about ruling out pain? Turns out that you as the guardian are the person in the best position to notice if chronic pain is an issue.

If the podcast resonates with you and you want to dig a little deeper, coaching is the tool to help you cope better with stressful situations, makes you more confident and daring, and all around feel better.

We're starting a new small group coaching session in July. Read all about it and find more info here:

https://kajsavanoverbeek.com/small-group-coaching/

Get on a free consult to see if it's for you here:

https://kajsavanoverbeek.com/schedule-your-free-consult/

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Are you going after the wrong goal?

Is your goal to be able to trust your dog?

Is your goal to not want to be afraid of something bad happening to your dog or because of your dog?

Is your goal to be able to have relaxed non-training dog walks?

Or is it to be able to be calm under all circumstances?

You might be chasing after the wrong thing.

You wouldn't tell someone who's been in a car accident that the goal is for them to get to believing that driving is perfectly safe again. You would rather help them get in the car again despite being afraid. You would help them to accept that being afraid is part of the process.

Start with acceptance of where you are at.

Denying reality is only setting you up for more stress.

Continuously wanting your dog walks to be relaxed when they're not, is fighting reality.

It's saying: it shouldn't be like this. That is cause enough for frustration.

-----------
Link to get onto my email list and to get hold of my free PDF with 6 mindset shifts:
https://kajsavanoverbeek.com/tyblp001/

If the podcast resonates with you and you want to dig a little deeper, coaching is the tool to help you cope better with stressful situations, makes you more confident and daring, and all around feel better.

We're starting a new small group coaching session in July. Read all about it and find more info here:

https://kajsavanoverbeek.com/small-group-coaching/

Get on a free consult to see if it's for you here:

https://kajsavanoverbeek.com/schedule-your-free-consult/

Send us a text

After she had gotten several shoutouts on the podcast already, it was about time I interview the one and only Marissa Martino of Paws and Reward herself. Or rather, I got lucky enough to have her on the show.

If I were you, I would listen to this show twice. There are so many gems in there.

Listen to it once, just to absorb what Marissa is saying, and then listen again and ask yourself how what she says applies to you and your situation. It will be time well spent.

Marissa describes how unlike many others on this podcast her road to dog training did not start with a challenging dog. Her dog training journey started before she ever had a dog.

She now focuses heavily on the human end of the leash, and mindset in particular (can you guess why I wanted to talk to her?). The spark that lit that particular fire was provided by a therapist who managed to point out how strategies Marissa already used with her dog training clients could also apply in her own life.

Once Pandora’s box of parallels had been opened Marissa couldn’t unsee these parallels between the connections with our dog and the connections we have with others and ourselves anymore. The rest as they say is history.

We talk about the power of turning questions around. If I believe my client/dog is not listening to me, how is it true that I am not listening to them?

About how knowledge is both power and very confronting and often uncomfortable. We talk about how that discomfort often leads us to play the blame game and the power of embracing discomfort.

As I keep hearing conflicting opinions on whether LIMA (Least Intrusive Minimally Aversive) as a training philosophy is “good” or “bad”, because the humane hierarchy it is based on mentions positive punishment, I ask Marissa about that too.

Fittingly enough, Marissa is also the first person on the show to describe which feeling the words expectation, frustration and celebration trigger for her.

Of course, showing up throughout the story is Sully, who was a senior dog when he recently passed away.

Links:

Marissa’s website: https://pawsandreward.com/

Marissa on Instagram: @pawsandreward

Marissa’s book, Human-Canine Behavior Connection: https://pawsandreward.com/book/

Humane Society of Boulder Valley: https://www.boulderhumane.org/

LIMA and the humane hierarchy: https://m.iaabc.org/about/lima/hierarchy/

The Paws and Reward Podcast episode with Chris Pachel Marissa mentions detailing the humane hierarchy: Episode 47: The Humane Hierarchy with Dr. Chris Pachel

Pet harmony offers mentorships for dog trainers: https://petharmonytraining.com/

Sarah Stremming’s

If the podcast resonates with you and you want to dig a little deeper, coaching is the tool to help you cope better with stressful situations, makes you more confident and daring, and all around feel better.

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If you agonize over decisions, research purchases to death before buying, and weigh the pros and cons seemingly endlessly, then this is the episode for you.

There’s a reason your brain does this. It’s trying to be kind to you. And its kindness often hurts more than it helps.

All is not lost though. We’re not at the mercy of our brains. We actually have a say in things, which is what I explain in the episode.

There may or may not be an anecdote in there about me having to decide on the colors of Rusty’s backpack.

His backpack was made by an awesome woman-owned boutique business in the USA, called Groundbird Gear. They provide your dog with a custom harness to which you can add separable roll-top saddle bags.

I highly recommend them. You can find their website here:

https://www.groundbirdgear.com/

Episode Website (with cute picture of Rusty wearing the above-mentioned backpack :
https://kajsavanoverbeek.com/bonus-episode-015-spinning-in-indecision-why-you-do-it-and-how-to-get-out-of-it/

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You’ve heard of decompression walks, letting your dog enjoy nature and sniff away from the hustle and bustle of urban life.

How about a 1600-mile decompression walk?

Luna (Marijke) and Werewolf (Scott) hiked the Pacific Crest Trail (2650 miles)  for their honeymoon and after clearing the desert section in Southern California, their dog SupDog (“real” name Balu) joined them for the remainder of the trail.

Marijke tells us about the mindset they needed to be in (Hike Your Dogs Hike), the accommodations they made for him and so much more.

What food did they bring?

What’s it like bringing a black dog in warm weather?

How did they deal with judgment from others?

What are town visits like? (“scamming” a sausage off the local butcher anyone?)

She also doesn’t gloss over the hard stuff. SupDog was sound sensitive and on day 1 of him joining there’s dynamite blasting on trail. Now what?

Or that time where he would mysteriously refuse to walk every late afternoon and it took a while to figure out what was going on.

As Marijke explains it was just a stringing together of a series of decisions, constantly evaluating where you are at and what is the best way forward based on the situation as it is.

One of my favorite parts is where Marijke explains that SupDog was sound sensitive and the choice was simply between him being sound sensitive at home or sound sensitive on the trail with the family who loves him. It doesn’t sound like too hard of a choice to make, when you put it that way.

After coming back home Marijke and Scott decided to pay it forward and they started the Thru-Hiker Dog Facebook Group to exchange information with those considering thru-hiking with their dog that is judgment free.

I am a member of that group and if you’re considering hiking longer distances with your dog I highly encourage you to join. You will be able to ask all the questions you need to figure out what works for you and your dog. Marijke also mentions that her present dog probably is not a long-distance trail dog. This is one conclusion you might come to as well based on the information shared freely within the group.

It’s all about what you believe is right for you and your dog.

Links:

The Thru-hiker Dogs Facebook Group, that was started by Marijke and Scott to provide dog guardians with information, tips, and tricks, given by people who’ve actually been there and done that:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/907294749289972

The dehydrated dog food SupDog was eating on trail:

https://www.thehonestkitchen.com/

The Pacific Crest Trail Association:

https://www.pcta.org/

The other two major long-distance trails:

The Appalachian Trail: https://appalachiantrail.org/

The Continental Divide Trail:

If the podcast resonates with you and you want to dig a little deeper, coaching is the tool to help you cope better with stressful situations, makes you more confident and daring, and all around feel better.

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This episode is all about how staying curious can help your dog, your relationships, and yourself.

It was triggered by a conversation I had with a friend who wanted to know why I didn't use Caesar Milan's training style, because it seemed to be working for her.

My conversation with her once more drove home the point I always try to make, which is that curiosity is the best antidote to judgment, both judgment of your dog, human others, and yourself.

It's how we keep communication open between people and species with possibly opposing views. That communication in turn is what brings us closer together and brings about positive change in the world. Yes, I am unapologetically idealistic.

Of course, I try to come up with some practical advice as well, which is:

- When you feel an emotion bubbling up...
-  Stop and pause and get curious by asking yourself questions
-  Some questions that you can ask are:

• What am I feeling now?
• Why am I feeling that, or
• I wonder what‘s triggering that? (Whatever wording works for you.)
• What are the things I am assuming in this situation but do not actually know?
• Do I have all the information?
• What does this mean for me?
• What do I still have to get clear on myself?

Listen to the whole episode to hear how I answered those questions and what things came up for me. I hope the episode is useful. Do let me know your thoughts!

Episode website:
https://kajsavanoverbeek.com/bonus-episode-014--curiosity-collar-pops-caesar-milan-and-crumbs/

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Megan and I talk about all things complex dogs:

- Labels and when to use them. Is Luna, reactive, aggressive, complex, or "simply" a dog dealing with health issues?

-What are her health issues? What's causing her extreme pica and food indiscrimination?

-Is pica a cause or symptom of Luna's anxiety?

-What's behind her resource guarding of her own vomit? And what is making her vomit in the first place?

-The importance of having a great primary care veterinarian, especially a force-free one

-The magic of a muzzle

-Feeling alone in having a dog with such a peculiar and unique set of behavior problems

-The importance of doing things without your dog

Links:

Megan and Luna on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/luna_the_cur_/

The other Instagram account with a mention:

Lauren and Stella:

https://www.instagram.com/stellainthecity22/

Episode Website:
https://kajsavanoverbeek.com/023-megan-and-luna-on-the-intersection-of-pica-food-indiscrimination-and-reactivity/

If the podcast resonates with you and you want to dig a little deeper, coaching is the tool to help you cope better with stressful situations, makes you more confident and daring, and all around feel better.

We're starting a new small group coaching session in July. Read all about it and find more info here:

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Being perfectionistic is a badge we often wear with pride, but perfectionism mostly doesn't serve us.

It doesn't serve us if we're learning new languages and it doesn't serve us when we are training our dogs.

Have you ever refrained from saying something or asking a question because you didn't know how to word it quite right?

Do you know you would make more progress if you didn't care about getting things perfect but you don't know how to get over that perfectionism?

If you're a self-proclaimed perfectionist, you may want to listen to this episode.

I try to not only state the obvious but to also give you some actionable steps as to how you can start to curb your inner perfectionist.

It's all about not standing yourself into a car (and if that sounds weird you will just have to listen to the episode).

If the podcast resonates with you and you want to dig a little deeper, coaching is the tool to help you cope better with stressful situations, makes you more confident and daring, and all around feel better.

We're starting a new small group coaching session in July. Read all about it and find more info here:

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TRIGGER WARNING: behavioral euthanasia

There are so many different ways I could have titled this episode.

The title could have said:
on dealing with haters and threats, or
on processing grief, or
on the power of friendship and love from both friends and strangers, or
on paying it forward and helping others by sharing their story.

Logan, like so many of us, got way more than they signed up for when they rescued Nobu who was a victim of the dog meat trade.
Not just in terms of having to deal with unpredictable aggression, but also when it came to becoming a trending topic on a subReddit to ban Pitbulls (which by the way, Nobu wasn't even a Pitbull).

After Nobu was behaviorally euthanized, Logan got another dog, the adorable Mona, a cute American Staffordshire terrier from a reputable breeder.

We talk about everything Nobu, Mona and especially both the devastating impact social media can have on the one hand and the amazing positives that it can bring as well.
As one of Logan's followers aptly put it: Mona is going to have the best internet family ever!

Links:

Find Logan and Mona on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mybravemona/
or on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mybravemona

If the podcast resonates with you and you want to dig a little deeper, coaching is the tool to help you cope better with stressful situations, makes you more confident and daring, and all around feel better.

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Do you sometimes feel yourself end up living in a place of regret about things you wish you had done differently for and with your dog?
Are you extra hard on yourself for having made mistakes?
Do you go to the place of what ifs a lot?

Then this episode is for you.

I talk about what regret is and most importantly about the thought error you are probably making when it comes to what specifically you are blaming yourself for.

Plus I give some practical tips as to how you can stop beating yourself up so much. (I also explain why you should!)

If the podcast resonates with you and you want to dig a little deeper, coaching is the tool to help you cope better with stressful situations, makes you more confident and daring, and all around feel better.

We're starting a new small group coaching session in July. Read all about it and find more info here:

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[The audio of this episode is a bit wonky, but I hope you'll put up with it because the content is great]

Matilda is a canine coach who creates all the things she wishes she would have had available when working with her dog Nala for her clients.

We talk about how Rafiki, her second dog, helped her grow into the person she is now.
(and what on earth possessed her to get a second dog after having a first dog who was Ruff Around the Edges)

When you listen to the episode you'll be blown away by her transformation and her approach to life.

Imagine being startled by barking... and ending up working with dogs.

We talk about the constant state of dysregulation living in a home with inter-dog aggression brings.
About the toll living with an aggressive dog takes on a relationship.
About what it takes to set boundaries with your loved ones and strangers.
About learning to love life without regrets.
About how freeing it is to have like-minded people by your side.

And so much more.

Find Matilda here:
Her website: https://www.matildathecaninecoach.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/matildathecaninecoach/
Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@matildathecaninecoach
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/matildathecaninecoach

The episode website is here:
https://kajsavanoverbeek.com/035-matilda-kelsall-amp-nala-and-rafiki-on-dog-sparked-personal-growth-in-leaps-and-bounds/

If the podcast resonates with you and you want to dig a little deeper, coaching is the tool to help you cope better with stressful situations, makes you more confident and daring, and all around feel better.

We're starting a new small group coaching session in July. Read all about it and find more info here:

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What do most guardians of our podcast dogs have in common? They go down the dog training rabbit hole, learning all there is to learn about dogs and dog training. At some point most of them have the thought:  “I might as well become a dog trainer now!”

Sara is no different.

We talk about that, but also about the importance of communication in her journey with Kiwi, a desert mix, as Dubai’s strays are often referred to.

What made her discontinue training with the balanced trainer that had been recommended to her? What was it about how PPG accredited Dubai trainer Aimee of @pawfectbehaviourme described her services that made it easy for Sara to switch over to force-free training?

Then there was COVID. The strict lockdown in Dubai was a blessing in disguise for Kiwi and for Sara and her husband too. The latter proved instrumental for the mental health of the whole human-dog family. 
His understanding attitude when Sara explained how anxiety-inducing walking Kiwi had become for her and their open lines of communication helped in turning that anxiety around.

He showed up in the background during our recording and jokingly asked Sara whether she was only saying good things about him. If you listen to this episode I imagine you’ll agree with me that that’s a resounding YES.

Links:

Find Sara here (and consider booking her services as a trainer if you’re in Dubai): @kiwiskronicles

Aimee, Sara’s trainer and mentor, a PPG accredited force-free dog trainer in Dubai: @pawfectbehaviourme

Other Instagram accounts that get a shoutout in this episode:

@dax_theangrydog

@the_toby_project

If the podcast resonates with you and you want to dig a little deeper, coaching is the tool to help you cope better with stressful situations, makes you more confident and daring, and all around feel better.

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If the podcast resonates with you and you want to dig a little deeper, coaching is the tool to help you cope better with stressful situations, makes you more confident and daring, and all around feel better.

We're starting a new small group coaching session in July. Read all about it and find more info here:

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If the podcast resonates with you and you want to dig a little deeper, coaching is the tool to help you cope better with stressful situations, makes you more confident and daring, and all around feel better.

We're starting a new small group coaching session in July. Read all about it and find more info here:

https://kajsavanoverbeek.com/small-group-coaching/

Get on a free consult to see if it's for you here:

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Weaponized incompetence, had you heard of it? 

Until recently I  had honestly never heard the term.

It’s when someone pretends to be really bad at something in order to not be able to do it, like training or walking the dog…

In this episode, I examine how mindset plays into that. Can incompetence be a weapon if we choose to not let it be?

https://kajsavanoverbeek.com/bonus-episode-010-weaponized-incompetence-when-you-believe-your-training-to-be-sabotaged/

If the podcast resonates with you and you want to dig a little deeper, coaching is the tool to help you cope better with stressful situations, makes you more confident and daring, and all around feel better.

We're starting a new small group coaching session in July. Read all about it and find more info here:

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Imagine living in New York City with an anxious dog. I was pretty curious as to that experience and so when I found Lauren and Stella on Instagram,  asked them to come on the podcast, and were there stories to tell.

 

First of all we talk about how Lauren ended up choosing Stella, who is a she when she had set out to adopt a male dog. This had everything to do with Sammy her previous dog, who was also a little Ruff Around the Edges.

Then there is so much more, from the practicalities of living in the city, to how Lauren makes sure she meets her personal needs (making them a mandatory requirement).

We discuss the impact living with Stella has had on her relationships and friendships and what her mindset has been around that. 

And we talk about how medication has helped Stella, and how it’s not the end of the world when there are breaks in training.

There may be some talk about West Elm rugs and candy crush too, but you will just. have to listen to the episode for that.

Also, West Elm, if you’re reading this and you want to sponsor Lauren and Stella, then by all means reach out!

Links

Lauren and Stella on Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/sitstaystella_/

https://sammysstraysrescue.org/

Episode website:
https://kajsavanoverbeek.com/019-ruff-around-the-edges-with-lauren-sisak-and-stella-an-anxious-dog-in-the-city-that-never-sleeps/

If the podcast resonates with you and you want to dig a little deeper, coaching is the tool to help you cope better with stressful situations, makes you more confident and daring, and all around feel better.

We're starting a new small group coaching session in July. Read all about it and find more info here:

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There’s nothing more maddening than working off of a recipe that doesn’t properly specify the ingredients, or their quantities.

It’s like when someone tells you to add a “dollop” of something and you wonder: Big dollop? Small dollop? Teaspoon full? Ladle? Internally you. are screaming for someone to please just give you an exact measurement already!

We want the same when it comes to our dogs. We want a specific step by step training plan. All bases should be covered. We want every if-then-else scenario accounted for.

Why though? Have you ever stopped and asked yourself that?

What are we afraid will happen if we don’t know all the steps? Why do we want or need someone else to tell us? What are we missing out on by putting all our eggs in the dog trainer’s basket?

What questions don’t we want to ask ourselves?

The episode isn’t all heavy, but you might want to listen to it after you have already eaten something or you might find yourself mysteriously longing for pancakes and pizza. Just saying.
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Would you like to feel more confident and trust yourself more?

My coaching will help you do just that. Jump on a call with me to find out if it’s for you. I’ll help you find the questions you need to answer so you can rely less on others and feel confident trusting yourself.
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If the podcast resonates with you and you want to dig a little deeper, coaching is the tool to help you cope better with stressful situations, makes you more confident and daring, and all around feel better.

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Very fittingly. I learned about Jay, whose a canine author, blogger and freelance Writer, and her dog Finn through a piece of her writing.

It was an article that Jay wrote for Dogs Today a while ago, but that still makes the rounds among guardians of challenging dogs. What she wrote resonates deeply with most of us.

You can read the full article here:

https://dogstodaymagazine.co.uk/2019/02/19/the-emotional-toll-of-reactive-dog/

But here are two quotes:

There are any number of articles that you can find about how to reassure and help your reactive dog. There are far, far fewer that in any way prepare you for the emotional rollercoaster that is being the owner or handler of a reactive dog.

and

I have cried more tears over this one dog than over any other animal I’ve ever had, even the ones that I’ve had to say that permanent goodbye to. Because of Finn, I have been patronised, pitied, sworn at and despised.

If you have ever wondered whether you messed your dog up because he was your first dog, then you will want to listen to Jay. She was used to living and working with border collies actually working sheep, and “still” she ended up with a very anxious dog.

Jay talks about the moment when someone told her she should just have her dog killed. We discuss what were pivot points in her life with Finn, like hearing the term reactive dog for the first time, and taking Canine Principles courses.

She explains how she ended up writing books, which, spoiler alert, was basically by embracing Nike’s slogan: just do it! and combining it with the belief that there is no one better to write about a topic than someone who has just had to deal it.

Jay also talks about how Finn’s stunning looks don’t always work in his favor. Imagine attracting every human within visual range to your blue merle coat, but being afraid of humans…

And of course, we talk about mindset and the relation with imposter syndrome, which is another topic that Jay is passionate about, and about how that ties into life with Finn.

All of the ways you can find Jay and learn more about her:

https://www.instagram.com/bluemerleminion/

https://www.instagram.com/jaygurden/

https://twitter.com/bluemerleminion

https://www.facebook.com/bluemerleminion/

https://www.facebook.com/jaygurdenwriter

https://www.facebook.com/Dogguardianshub

 

Imposter Syndrome FB group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/124746796350145

 

Imposter Syndrome Blog:

ht

If the podcast resonates with you and you want to dig a little deeper, coaching is the tool to help you cope better with stressful situations, makes you more confident and daring, and all around feel better.

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In this episode, I address the concept of passing stress down the leash to your dog and all of its variants.

I ask you to question what's the chicken and what's the egg? Which came first? Your stress or the dog's behavior? Is your stress the result of your dog lunging or the cause?

What does worrying about your stress, sensitivity or emotionality do for you? Does it make you doubt yourself? Judge yourself? Try to change yourself? Are you believing that your work is to become less emotional? More confident?

You'll learn why maybe all there is to it is to accept yourself for who you are.

Oh, and you'll hear about how I deal with emotionality myself and crying in particular. It has something to do with the movies Top Gun and Marley and Me. Have a listen to see how those two link into things.

Links:

kajsavanoverbeek.com

Schedule a consult call to find out about working with me: https://kajsavanoverbeek.com/schedule-your-free-consult/

Marley and Me on Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marley_%26_Me_(film)

Top Gun on Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Top_Gun

If the podcast resonates with you and you want to dig a little deeper, coaching is the tool to help you cope better with stressful situations, makes you more confident and daring, and all around feel better.

We're starting a new small group coaching session in July. Read all about it and find more info here:

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Do you have to deal with comments from others when you’re out and about with your (challenging) dog?

Do you get remarks on working with food rewards?

Made fun of for “rewarding” your dog for lunging or barking?

 

Imagine going through that and getting snide remarks about your sexuality thrown into the mix.

Like how of course it’s the dyke who brings a rug for their dog to relax on at a cafe.

Airen has had to deal with experiences like this for a long time. He is a queer and trans person with the most adorable sight hound named Pili, whom he raises force free with the utmost respect for Pili being a sentient being of their own.

 

You can probably imagine that Airen has done his fair share of mindset- and thoughtwork to learn how to handle other people’s judgment. If you, like me, are a person who holds almost all of the world’s privileges it’s almost impossible to comprehend what he experiences on a day-to-day basis. I believe this is precisely why it’s so valuable to educate yourself and to listen to and really hear stories like Airen’s.

Airen holds a degree in biochemistry and a Master’s degree in biotechnology, so like me, he loves science and what it can teach us. He did not find all that he was looking for in the world of academia and has now veered off to embark on a career uniquely his own. He combines science, education and art with his love for dogs and experiences as a queer and trans person to teach people about gender identity and dog well-being.

 

So, press play and listen to the wisdom Airen had to share. There are a lot, lot, lot of golden nuggets in there.

 

Find Airen here:

https://www.instagram.com/perretologia/

 

Other links:

The article on dogs, aversive treatment and the effects of predictability:

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/228352740_Effects_of_predictability_on_the_welfare_of_captive_animals

 

The article on breed stereotypes that Airen and I talk about:

https://www.science.org/doi/10.1126/science.abk0639?adobe_mc=MCMID%3D05295137187867910021787418243348647753%7CMCORGID%3D242B6472541199F70A4C98A6%2540AdobeOrg%7CTS%3D1655129552https://www.science.org/doi/10.1126/science.abk0639?adobe_mc=MCMID%3D05295137187867910021787418243348647753%7CMCORGID%3D242B6472541199F70A4C98A6%2540AdobeOrg%7CTS%3D1655129552

If the podcast resonates with you and you want to dig a little deeper, coaching is the tool to help you cope better with stressful situations, makes you more confident and daring, and all around feel better.

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If you’re someone who comes home from a dog walk to then classify it as good, bad, great, a disaster, or only a step shy of Valhalla, then you want to listen to this episode.

Consider that it is actually you who makes your dog walks “bad” or “good”. And I say that very lovingly. Because it’s good news. Awareness is everything. 

I explain some strategies you can follow to help you feel better about your dog walks, without having to resort to toxic positivity.

Did you know you can just think: “Crap happened and I  get to feel crappy about it, without having to get sucked into the doomsday-vortex to never resurface ever again?”

Have a listen and as always, if any of it resonated, then I would love to hear from you.

 

If the podcast resonates with you and you want to dig a little deeper, coaching is the tool to help you cope better with stressful situations, makes you more confident and daring, and all around feel better.

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When you have to train something you don't know how to identify, where do you start?

Can you even start?

I share the experiences a friend of mine and myself have had doing physical therapy, the lessons I learned from it and how they apply to life with our dogs.

How do you find which dials to tweak?

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I loved this interview with Jennifer. Talking with her I understand 100% how she manages to work with all of her canine companions (and their people) so well.

We talk about how she went from IT specialist to having a dog walking service and how she hasn’t regretted it at all.

She talks about what it is like to foster dogs (and mentions that all of you who have adopted a dog from foster care should definitely feel free to keep photo updates on your dog coming indefinitely).
Each one of them has or had their own peculiarities. One of her fosters took months to be housetrained, but I swear I have never had someone talk about cleaning up pee in their house for months on end in such a chill way as Jennifer.

I am sure that is made possible by her general relaxed attitude towards life, combined with a genuine curiosity to learn more about our canine friends.

Though she is not a dog trainer she explains how she tries to adhere to the training protocols used by the trainers of her different dog walking dogs as well as possible.
When she’s not sure how to handle something she communicates with the guardians to figure out what to do.

If I were living in Amsterdam I would hire her pronto. How many dogwalkers do you know that will gladly walk reactive dogs and be willing to follow your training methods?

Links to where you can find Jennifer

Apparently, during the interview, some of the laid-back attitude also rubbed off on me and I almost forgot to ask her where people could find her and her service, but not to worry, you will find the links below.

If you’re wanting some pointers on starting your own dogwalking service, then Jennifer mentions she’s happy to provide you with some information.

 

Jen’s business social media:

https://www.facebook.com/Expatspetsandmore

https://www.instagram.com/expatspetsandmoreamsterdam/

Her own Instagram account (well, more like her dogs’ but that’s to be expected):

https://www.instagram.com/jackson.and.friends/

The helpful Facebook group we are both a member of:

 

Expats with Dogs in Amsterdam: https://www.facebook.com/groups/search/groups_home/?q=expats%20with%20dogs%20in%20amsterdam

 

Jenn is currently fostering for: https://www.poolseasielhonden.nl/

Stanley and Jackson came from: https://www.dutchyadoptions.com/

If the podcast resonates with you and you want to dig a little deeper, coaching is the tool to help you cope better with stressful situations, makes you more confident and daring, and all around feel better.

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Sometimes we imagine that doing our utmost for our dogs has to feel like we are making a real effort. In other words, it has to feel hard.

But does it really have to?

Are we stressing ourselves out unnecessarily? Is it simply because we are not used to the fact that doing our best can feel like smooth sailing too?

That’s what this episode is about.

If the podcast resonates with you and you want to dig a little deeper, coaching is the tool to help you cope better with stressful situations, makes you more confident and daring, and all around feel better.

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Trigger Warning: behavioral euthanasia

 

This episode is full of amazement, wonder, celebration, grief, sadness, guilt, love and I want to say almost any and all of the emotions from all over the spectrum.

 

It’s long and unedited because a story like that of Meaghan and Sunny, which unfortunately does not have a happy end, needs to be told in full. 

As you listen to the episode you’ll hear how close happiness and sadness really are. You may judge or not, you may find relief in the story or not, you may ask “what if” or not, you may cry or not, but above all you will realize the impact making the decision to put an animal to sleep has on a person.

This topic is not talked about enough. A lot of shame exists around it, and often where there is shame there is silence. We need to talk about it though, for the sake of our animals and the humans that love(d) them.

So before we dive in I want to thank Meaghan for being vulnerable and willing to come on the podcast to share her story.

 

 

 

 

That story begins with a chance encounter with a gorgeous pitbull named Sunny on the streets of LA. It continues with living the vanlife and traveling the continental USA, to end up back in Canada.

It’s a story that speaks of learning as you go along. Like so many of us, Meaghan changed over from punishment-based learning styles to force-free training. She describes how she got to understand Sunny better as she learned more and more about how he ticked, and how it was fear that drove his behavior.

She also explains how and why she finally came to the decision to end Sunny’s life, and talks about the grief and guilt that came with it.

She too, similar to Annie Phenix, describes how tremendously helpful Losing Lulu, the Facebook group that provides support for guardians who have made the decision to go ahead with behavioral euthanasia, was.

Finally, we talk about serendipity and how a cat named Puppy helped her heal.

I hope that mainly what comes through in this episode though is the celebration of Sunny’s life.

Links:

Meaghan on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/meaghanmariie/

Meaghan on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MeaghanMarieMarton

Running For A Reason fundraising initiative: https://www.instagram.com/running_forareason/

The animal farm Meaghan volunteers at: Charlotte’s Freedom Farm: https://instagram.com/charlottesfreedomfarm?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= 

Losing Lulu on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/groups/losinglulu) – this is an extremely well-moderated support group for owners who have made the decision to put down a pet for behavioral reasons. The support here is first class. If you ever felt alone in this painful decision, this compassionate group will prove to you that you are not alone.

Behaviour Euth

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If the podcast resonates with you and you want to dig a little deeper, coaching is the tool to help you cope better with stressful situations, makes you more confident and daring, and all around feel better.

We're starting a new small group coaching session in July. Read all about it and find more info here:

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Trigger Warning: Behavioral Euthanasia

Many of you will know Annie as the author of the book “The Midnight Dog Walkers” and as a dog trainer who specializes in dealing with reactivity and aggression cases and we do talk about that, but in this episode she also talks about life with her own dogs, Radar, Echo , Zimmie , Cooper and Finn (the latter two also being known affectionately as “the hooligans”).

Annie explains how she shifted her thinking around what she wants from and for her dogs and how the paradigm shift she sees in the dog training industry has made her want to hang up her shingle as a dog trainer again.

That shift has everything to do with seeing our dogs as sentient beings with emotional and physical needs that need to be met ALONGSIDE those of the human. It’s not “either/or”, it’s “and”.  A plethora of trainers and new training ideas come up in our discussion and they are all linked below.

We talk about how she only wanted three things from her hooligan cattledog mixes and that was: to get along with people, to get along with dogs, and to come when called. 

We also talk about why Annie decided on cattledogs, when “her breed” is the German Shepherd. That has everything to do with Zimmie, her Shiloh Shepherd who Annie has had to put to sleep because of behavioral issues. Annie hasn’t been able to have another German Shepherd after, and that says something.

Behavioral euthanasia is not an option any dog lover wants to choose ever. Annie explains what led up to the decision, and talks about her thoughts and feelings afterward as well.

She’s worked in rescue a long time and is a trainer who specializes in difficult dogs which might have made it even more difficult to accept that “we can’t save them all”.

What brings her the most sadness is the knowledge her other dogs suffered because of Zimmie.

If you are considering behavioral euthanasia for your dog or have had to go through it already, please find a host of links on the topic at the bottom of this post that could be of worth you, whether to aid you in making the decision or to help you process the grief afterward.

Links & Tons of Information on the podcast episode website which you can find here:

https://kajsavanoverbeek.com/014-ruff-around-the-edges-with-annie-phenix/

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Remember the star charts for kids?  You only add stars for good behavior and never remove any for bad behavior.

How come we don't treat our dog training "star charts" with the same respect?

When we are working with our challenging dogs, every setback makes us tear down the star chart and start from the beginning again. Why? And, also... stop it!

What's a way to know if you're doing that? Listen to your self-talk. Anytime you hear yourself say "We were doing so well up until now...", that's you tearing down your start chart.
Listen to this episode for my thoughts on this.

If the podcast resonates with you and you want to dig a little deeper, coaching is the tool to help you cope better with stressful situations, makes you more confident and daring, and all around feel better.

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A travel souvenir from Nicaragua

Imagine falling in love with two abandoned 5 weeks old street dog puppies whilst abroad in Nicaragua. The second you lay eyes on them you know you’re in trouble because you’re not going to give these dogs up.

So you crowdfund in pre-crowdfunding days to get the money together to bring these dogs to the Netherlands. Once they get there you find out, that the vet abroad provided you with falsified papers and you lose your now-teenage dogs to a 4 months quarantine.

After that, there’s inter-household fighting, the heartbreak of rehoming one of the siblings, and trying to find the best way to help your heart dog deal with the anxiety of living in the Dutch capital city of Amsterdam.

On a scale of 0 to 10 how would you rate…

This is when Lou, like so many dogs on this podcast, turns Karolina’s life upside down. She puts Karolina on a completely new life path directed toward animal welfare.

Listen to Karolina talk about the importance of vet checks, nutrition and taking a holistic approach to animal wellbeing.

Included in her story is how she learned like all of us that not everyone who has had dogs for longer than we have knows more about them, and be gobsmacked like I was about her use of a simple mental 0-10 reactivity scale as a way to track Lou’s improvement.

Lou’s a 2-3 on that scale now most days and loves man-trailing and dog-trailing.

Links

The Facebook Group Karolina co-moderates with her friends (highly recommended for its positive non-judgemental vibe):

Expats with Dogs in Amsterdam

and her own group focusing on all things cat&dog, such as dietary choices, places to buy food, natural remedies, behavior, etc.

Undogmatic – dogs and cats in Amsterdam

If the podcast resonates with you and you want to dig a little deeper, coaching is the tool to help you cope better with stressful situations, makes you more confident and daring, and all around feel better.

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Are you always trying to keep everyone in your household happy?
I was.
In this episode, I talk about how that can backfire and create the opposite of what you want with examples from my own life.

Fair warning, it was recorded on the fly, while walking Rusty, so the audio is not awesome, but the message might resonate.

If you want to learn how to have a happier household without trying to keep everyone happy, then sign up for a free consult with me and learn all about how coaching can do just that for you.

If the podcast resonates with you and you want to dig a little deeper, coaching is the tool to help you cope better with stressful situations, makes you more confident and daring, and all around feel better.

We're starting a new small group coaching session in July. Read all about it and find more info here:

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So much good stuff in this episode!

I want to turn half of the quotes in this episode into memes.

Like, how learning how to do agility with a border collie is like learning to drive in a Lamborghini.

Meet Tara Stillwell and her dogs Eva, the red and white border collie, Curri, the sable border collie and Duke the mini-Aussie.

It’s absolutely clear to me that Tara has put a lot of effort into reflecting on how her dogs have affected all the relationships in her life.

How the expectations we put on ourselves and our dog can trip either of us up.

Most importantly though, she shares so many insights that have helped her embrace life with her dogs again.

We talk about dealing with the guilt she had about not knowing what everyone who’s had multiple dogs before must surely have already known.

Here’s one thought Tara gave to combat that guilt. You can try it on yourself and see if it serves you:

“Nobody says: “Let me get a messed up dog so that I can then modify their behavior!””

Isn’t that the truth?

She also mentions importantly how she has adapted her thoughts about what other dog guardians are supposed to do or not do. She doesn’t expect them to be able to recall their dogs for example. Can you imagine what that’s like? If you drop that expectation and instead feel compassion for the other guardians?

And of course we talk about some of her and my favorite podcasts and trainers that have already gotten multiple shoutouts on this podcast as well:

Sarah Stremming of the Cognitive Canine, and

Marissa Martino of Paws and Reward

And then also, Kim Brophy (CLICK HERE for her website), who I didn’t know yet but who has some amazing stuff out there dealing with dog ethology. She uses the LEGS (Learning, Environment, Genetics & Self) model (CLICK HERE to sign up for her course and/or get a free preview)  to account for a lot of why dogs (and us humans too) are the way they and we are.

In short, it’s not all in how you raise them. That is something I believe all of us dealing with guilt around  what we believe are our insufficient training skills should take to heart.

CLICK HERE for the link to Kim’s  insightful TED talk on “The Problem with Treating Dogs Like a Pet”

If the podcast resonates with you and you want to dig a little deeper, coaching is the tool to help you cope better with stressful situations, makes you more confident and daring, and all around feel better.

We're starting a new small group coaching session in July. Read all about it and find more info here:

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Do you have a drop it cue?

Not your dog, you…

Can you drop your expectations?

Can you drop your frustration?

Can you drop your anger?

Can you drop your schedule and improvise when something doesn’t go according to plan?

I know that you can. That you can be a champion at “drop it”.

What if you could drop the idea of what life with your dog is supposed to be like and take life as it comes? No expectation, no disappointment, no frustration.

If the podcast resonates with you and you want to dig a little deeper, coaching is the tool to help you cope better with stressful situations, makes you more confident and daring, and all around feel better.

We're starting a new small group coaching session in July. Read all about it and find more info here:

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How does a UK national end up a dog (and other animals) trainer in Dubai? Just listening to Aimee's backstory will have you in awe of the way she has stayed true to herself making big life decisions.

We talk about how she tries to make clients feel like they can share everything with her as a trainer so that they don't have to hide their feelings and frustration.

We discuss how breed stereotypes and other assumptions may prevent us from recognizing our dogs are in pain.  Are poodles simply fussy eaters or is there an underlying problem with their teeth causing them pain when they eat?

What about the disappointment we feel when our dog's behavior seems to relapse? What can we do? Should we try something new or go back to basics?

Links:
Aimee's business in Dubai:
https://pawfectgroup.com/
Aimee on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/pawfectbehaviourme/

Episode Website:
https://kajsavanoverbeek.com/034-aimee-of-pawfect-behaviour-on-everything-mindset-and-dogs-and-leaving-the-uk-to-be-a-dubai-dog-trainer/

If the podcast resonates with you and you want to dig a little deeper, coaching is the tool to help you cope better with stressful situations, makes you more confident and daring, and all around feel better.

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Nicole den Broeder & Haley

Imagine falling in love with a rescue dog from Spain, who started life by the side of a road, and then spent some days in the vet clinic fighting for her life.

You decide to help find her a home by spreading her picture online. You then figure, why not foster her? And finally, she just becomes yours, but not without overcoming many difficulties.

Imagine living in a flat, an apartment complex, the farthest from the elevator and the staircase. Now your dog gets attacked by the neighbor dog escaping from their front door and the only way for you to take your dog outside to potty or to go on a walk is to walk past that same front multiple times every day.

That’s what happened to poor Haley, and seems to be a contributing factor to her increased reactivity.

Nicole tells us about her journey, the dog training rabbit hole she went down (like most of us do), about deciding to get a 3rd dog even after all she had been through with Haley, oh and about the book she wrote detailing that journey.

And last but not least, we talk, about the search for that highest of high value treats. We promised you the recipe in the show notes, so here it is:

-------

Haley’s favorite treats:

1/4 cup flour

4 eggs

2 cans of sardines in water (120grams or 4.25oz per can)

Tablespoon peanut butter (no artificial sweetener!)

(If you like you could add a little cheese as extra)

Mix everything in a blender and divide over a silicone treat mat 

The batter will be the consistency of pancake-batter (think European, more crepe than American pancake) and is enough to fill 2 mats.

Bake for about 25minutes at 200 C / 390 F

The cookies will be soft and malleable when they’re done.

-------

Nicole, Zoe, Haley & Lacey on Instagram: @gsdlacey
Nicole's blog: MuddyDogPaws

Haley’s book, or should we say Nicole’s book:

On Amazon.com (also in Kindle-version): Reactive Rescue Understanding the Misunderstood 

On Amazon.co.uk: Reactive Rescue Understanding the Misunderstood

On Amazon.de: Reactive Rescue Understanding the Misunderstood

On Amazon.fr:

If the podcast resonates with you and you want to dig a little deeper, coaching is the tool to help you cope better with stressful situations, makes you more confident and daring, and all around feel better.

We're starting a new small group coaching session in July. Read all about it and find more info here:

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In this episode, I go a little meta on you. 

Do you know what frustration feels like for you in your body?

I talk about the importance and benefits of being able to pinpoint different emotions in your body.

How can being able to describe the physical sensation of frustration help you feel less frustrated about life with your challenging dog?

The books I mention in this episode are:

Burnout

• Burnout: The secret to solving the stress cycle, by Emily Nagoski and Amelia Nagoski
• Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts. By Brené Brown

If you are intrigued about life coaching and mindset work and all that it can do for you (a lot!), my website is:

kajsavanoverbeek.com

Sign up for the free self-paced mini-mindset course for guardians of challenging dogs here:

kajsavanoverbeek.com/think-mini-course

Do let me know if this was useful or if you have certain topics you would like me to discuss.

If the podcast resonates with you and you want to dig a little deeper, coaching is the tool to help you cope better with stressful situations, makes you more confident and daring, and all around feel better.

We're starting a new small group coaching session in July. Read all about it and find more info here:

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In this episode I talk to Liz about her amazing blue heeler Titan.

Titan was Liz’s obedience champion prospect and Liz had visions of him and her Shetland Sheepdog Tucker getting along and being best friends.

Alas, the universe had different plans for all of them.

Liz is able to articulate something that is dear to my heart as well. Teaching “obedience drills” or tricks is very different from behavior modification.

We also talk about her moving away from positive reinforcement training in an attempt to get that perfect dog that according to experts is hiding somewhere inside Titan out of him, and how she moved back to it after having gone down a “learn everything there is about dog aggression rabbit hole” and heaving read Marissa Martino’s book “Human-Canine Behavior Connection; Building Better Relationships Through Dog Training”.

I wholeheartedly support Marissa’s training philosophies. You can find the link to her website Paws and Reward here: https://pawsandreward.com/

The link to the Paws and Reward podcast episode featuring Liz and Titan on the value of neutral is here:

https://pawsandreward.com/episode35/

Coming back to this podcast episode though, Liz also beautifully describes how the larger herding community helped her see how great Titan is.

As she wrote to me later, herding people seem to understand inherently that you can’t breed for certain characteristics without getting some other stuff to come along for the ride and that’s just the way it is and the dog is still awesome.

I could not have said it better myself.

We also discuss the beauty of simple management strategies like baby gates.

If the podcast resonates with you and you want to dig a little deeper, coaching is the tool to help you cope better with stressful situations, makes you more confident and daring, and all around feel better.

We're starting a new small group coaching session in July. Read all about it and find more info here:

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In this episode, I get interviewed by previous podcast guest Leana Mayzlina about my dog Rusty, the Mascotte of the podcast.

We discuss why I decided to get a puppy from a breeder rather than a rescue.

We talk about starting out with positive reinforcement dog training and all the doubts that go with it, and how I wish I would have had more practical advice in the beginning stages.

We also look at why regular puppy classes might not have worked as well for Rusty.

 We talk about the doubts I had after Rusty had bitten another dog and got kicked out of his dog walking service. I explain what management tactics we employ whilst out on walks now, and of course, I also answer the “expectation, frustration and celebration”-questions.

 Links

Instagram: @theruscattledog

Kajsa's website: kajsavanoverbeek.com

Ruff Around The Edges Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/ruffaroundtheedges

Search for a rescue dog in the database of Dutch Animal Shelters: https://dierenasiels.com/

If the podcast resonates with you and you want to dig a little deeper, coaching is the tool to help you cope better with stressful situations, makes you more confident and daring, and all around feel better.

We're starting a new small group coaching session in July. Read all about it and find more info here:

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Get on a free consult to see if it's for you here:

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