Explore every episode of the podcast Rise and Reclaim

One of the most profound and least talked-about impacts of domestic and family violence is the loss of self. Gradually, through control, fear, shame, and ongoing disruption, many victim-survivors find themselves becoming a shadow of who they once were and often do not realise it until the fog begins to lift.   In this episode, Jo Mason shares an honest conversation with Elizabeth, a victim-survivor about the experience of losing yourself to abuse, and the long, non-linear journey of finding your way back. Together they explore what identity loss looks like from the inside. Hypervigilance, over-explaining, the inability to be present, engineered friendships, the quiet erosion of joy, and the steps that helped them begin to reconnect with who they truly are. This episode is a little different from the others in this series. It is more spontaneous, raw, and reflective. And there is so much power in that.   This podcast is proudly brought to you by Verdella, the online domestic and family violence recovery programme designed to support victim-survivors in practical and meaningful ways, helping people reclaim empowerment, regain motivation, and plan their next steps with confidence. Verdella is available through licensing partnerships with employers and community service organisations committed to supporting recovery and wellbeing. Visit verdella.com.au to learn more.   In This Episode

• What identity loss in DFV actually looks like, and why it happens so gradually you often cannot see it while you are living it
• The narcissistic fog: what it is, and what the moment of lifting can feel like
• Hypervigilance, over-explaining, and the habits that stay with you long after leaving
• Engineered friendships, flying monkeys, and the way shame compounds everything
• Why couples counselling can be deeply problematic in DFV situations
• What actually helped: education, reaching out, validation, community, and learning to stop looking backwards
• Guidance for anyone who has lost themselves, or is beginning to find their way back

Resources Mentioned in This Episode Please note: Some services listed below are specific to Queensland. If you are located elsewhere in Australia, contact 1800RESPECT (below) to be connected with your local equivalent.   Immediate Support 1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 | 1800respect.org.au | Available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week DVConnect Womensline (QLD): 1800 811 811 | dvconnect.org | Available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.   Reading and Resources Mentioned: Dr Ramani Durvasula: Psychologist and author specialising in narcissistic abuse, coercive control, and recovery. Referenced throughout this episode. Book: It's Not You by Dr Ramani Durvasula, available through major booksellers and libraries. YouTube: Search Dr Ramani on YouTube for free videos on coercive control, gaslighting, and the narcissistic fog.   Recovery Support Verdella DFV Recovery Programme: An online recovery programme for victim-survivors, available through employer and community organisation partnerships. verdella.com.au   Workplace Support WorkHaven: Workplace domestic and family violence education, training, and consulting. workhaven.com.au | hello@workhaven.com.au   A Note for Listeners This episode covers topics related to domestic and family violence, identity loss, and emotional recovery. It includes honest, personal accounts that some listeners may find confronting. Please take care of yourself as you listen. If anything comes up for you, support is available. 1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 | 1800respect.org.au | Available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week   About Verdella Verdella proudly brings you Rise and Reclaim, an online domestic violence recovery programme that walks alongside people as they rebuild their lives after DFV. Available free to participants through licensed workplaces and community service organisations. Visit verdella.com.au to find out more.   Connect with WorkHaven workhaven.com.au hello@workhaven.com.au Subscribe and follow Rise and Reclaim so you do not miss future episodes. And if this podcast has resonated with you, please share it. You never know who might need to hear it.

Domestic and family violence does not stay behind closed doors. It follows people to work, affecting focus, confidence, attendance, relationships with colleagues, and career progression. For many victim-survivors, the workplace is both a lifeline and a place of quiet struggle.   In this episode, Jo Mason is joined by Elizabeth, a victim-survivor who experienced DFV while working in a senior role. Elizabeth shares how the violence shaped her working life in ways she could not always name at the time, and how she found her way back to herself, her confidence, and her career.   This podcast is proudly brought to you by Verdella, an online domestic and family violence recovery programme designed to support victim-survivors in practical and meaningful ways, helping people reclaim empowerment, regain motivation, and plan their next steps with confidence. Verdella is available through licensing partnerships with employers and community service organisations committed to supporting recovery and wellbeing. Visit verdella.com.au to learn more.   In This Episode

• How DFV affects performance, confidence, and connection at work
• The role of hypervigilance, shame, and self-isolation in the workplace
• Why the workplace can be both the only safe place and the hardest place to show up
• What Elizabeth did to begin her recovery, including counselling, community, and learning to trust herself again
• The role of one trusted colleague and why informal support matters as much as formal policy
• What workplaces can do beyond policies and awareness days
• Elizabeth's two pieces of advice for anyone struggling at work as a result of DFV

  A Note on Hannah Clark In this episode, Elizabeth references the Hannah Clark tragedy. Hannah Clark and her three children were killed in Brisbane in 2020 by her estranged husband. Her parents, Lloyd and Sue, have since become fierce advocates for change, and Hannah's story has had a profound impact on awareness and action on domestic and family violence across Queensland and nationally. Hannah's legacy continues to shape the conversation.   Resources Mentioned in This Episode Please note: Some services listed below are specific to Queensland. If you are located elsewhere in Australia, contact 1800RESPECT (below) to be connected with your local equivalent.   Immediate Support 1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 | 1800respect.org.au | Available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week DVConnect Womensline (QLD): 1800 811 811 | dvconnect.org | Available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week   Reading and Resources: Elizabeth Recommends Dr. Ramani Durvasula, Psychologist and author specialising in narcissistic abuse, coercive control, and recovery. Book: It's Not You by Dr. Ramani Durvasula, available through major booksellers.   Workplace Support WorkHaven: Workplace domestic and family violence education, training, and consulting. workhaven.com.au | hello@workhaven.com.au   Recovery Support Verdella DFV Recovery Programme: An online recovery programme for victim-survivors, available through employer and community organisation partnerships. verdella.com.au   A Note for Listeners This episode covers topics related to domestic and family violence and its emotional and psychological impact. Please take care of yourself as you listen. If anything comes up for you, support is available.   1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 | 1800respect.org.au | Available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week   For Workplaces If you are an employer or HR professional and this episode has prompted you to think about what support your organisation provides, WorkHaven can help. From training and policy development to the WorkHaven Workplace Health Check, every organisation can take practical steps, regardless of size or budget.   Meaningful support does not require a large programme. Sometimes it begins with one person, one conversation, and a commitment to listening without judgement.   About Verdella Verdella proudly brings you Rise and Reclaim, an online domestic violence recovery programme that walks alongside people as they rebuild their lives after DFV. Available free to participants through licensed workplaces and community service organisations. Visit verdella.com.au to find out more.   Connect with WorkHaven workhaven.com.au hello@workhaven.com.au   Subscribe and follow Rise and Reclaim so you do not miss future episodes. And if this podcast has resonated with you, please share it, you never know who might need to hear it.

Domestic and family violence can have a lasting impact on financial independence, employment, housing stability, debt, and long-term security. In this episode, we explore what financial recovery looks like, hearing from Tracey, a victim-survivor who rebuilt her financial life after DFV, and Jackie, a financial counsellor at Brisbane Domestic Violence Service who works closely with people navigating financial recovery every day.   Whether you're currently rebuilding or supporting someone through that journey, this episode offers practical ideas, experience, and reassurance that financial recovery happens step by step.   This podcast is proudly brought to you by Verdella, an online domestic and family violence recovery programme designed to help victim-survivors rebuild in practical, meaningful ways. Verdella is available through licensing partnerships with employers and community service organisations. Learn more at verdella.com.au.   In This Episode

• Tracey's story of fleeing with her five children, navigating homelessness, and rebuilding from nothing
• Practical, everyday budgeting tips for getting back on your feet
• Jackie's insight into financial abuse, common early steps to regain control, and the mindset shifts that support long-term recovery
• A real case study of a woman who had $50,000 in coerced debt removed from her name
• Resources Mentioned in This Episode

  Please note: Several services mentioned in this episode are Queensland-based. If you're outside Queensland, contact 1800RESPECT (below) to be connected with your local equivalent.   Immediate Support

• 1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 | 1800respect.org.au | Available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week
• DVConnect Womensline (QLD): 1800 811 811 | dvconnect.org | Available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week

Home Furnishing Support

• RizeUp Australia: rizeup.com.au | Donations: rizeup.com.au/donation | Referred through specialist DFV services

Financial Support Payments   Update since recording: This episode refers to the Escaping Violence Payment. That trial has now ended. From 1 July 2025, it has been replaced by the Leaving Violence Program, which offers similar financial and support assistance to people leaving intimate partner violence.

• Leaving Violence Program: 1800 253 283 (1800 2 LEAVE) | leavingviolenceprogram.org.au
• Centrelink Crisis Payment: Contact Centrelink or ask for a social worker referral | A one-off payment for people experiencing extreme circumstances, including domestic and family violence. Available up to four times in a 12-month period.

Centrelink & Social Security Advocacy

• Basic Rights Queensland (BRQ): 1800 358 511 | brq.org.au | Free, state-wide advice, advocacy and legal services for Centrelink and social security issues

Debt & Fines Relief

• Linkt Family Violence Support: Contact Linkt directly and advise you're impacted by DFV | To discuss waiving toll debt incurred by a perpetrator
• SPER (State Penalty Enforcement Registry, QLD): sper.qld.gov.au | Dedicated family violence contact line for reviewing fines and penalty debts incurred as a result of a perpetrator's actions

Credit Report Corrections If you're impacted by family violence, you have the right under the Privacy Act 1988 (Cth) to request a correction to inaccurate, outdated, or unfairly listed information on your credit file, including coerced debt.

• Equifax: 1300 762 207 | equifax.com.au
• Experian: 1300 784 134 | experian.com.au

Tip from this episode: request a free copy of your credit report from each bureau, review it for anything you don't recognise or agree with, and if you've been financially impacted by DFV, contact the bureau directly to discuss your options. Housing & Tenancy

• Tenants Queensland: 1300 744 263 | tenantsqld.org.au | Free tenancy advice for Queensland renters

No-Interest Loans

• Good Shepherd - No Interest Loans (NILS): goodshep.org.au | No-interest loans for essential items such as whitegoods, and support with rental bonds

Utility & Essential Services Hardship

• Contact your energy, water, and telecommunications providers directly and ask about their family violence hardship policy. All major providers are required to offer trauma-informed support in this area.
• If you're not getting the support you need, the relevant industry ombudsman can help escalate your case.

A note for listeners: This episode covers topics related to domestic and family violence and its emotional and psychological impact. Please take care of yourself as you listen. If anything comes up for you, support is available.   1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 | 1800respect.org.au | Available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week   About Verdella: Rise and Reclaim is proudly brought to you by Verdella, an online domestic violence recovery program that walks alongside people as they rebuild their lives after DFV. Available free to participants through licensed workplaces and community service organisations. Visit: verdella.com.au to find out more.   Connect with WorkHaven: workhaven.com.au hello@workhaven.com.au   Subscribe and follow Rise and Reclaim so you do not miss future episodes. And if this podcast has resonated with you, please share it; you never know who might need to hear it.

Domestic and family violence does not just damage the primary relationship - it can quietly dismantle a person's entire social world. Through isolation, coercive control, and the weight of shame, friendships may fade, family connections may fracture, and survivors can emerge feeling utterly alone. In this episode of Rise and Reclaim, Jo Mason explores the real impact DFV has on social confidence and connection and why rebuilding those relationships, one small step at a time, is not only possible but deeply healing.

Joined by Kris, a victim-survivor, advocate, and what Jo describes as "walking sunshine", this episode is an honest, warm, and practical conversation about how to find your people again after everything has changed.

 

In this episode:

• Why isolation is one of the most common tactics of coercive control and how it happens gradually, almost invisibly
• Why shame keeps survivors hidden long after they leave and why that shame belongs to the person who chose to use violence, not the person who experienced it
• How trauma changes social confidence and why that is a nervous system response, not a personal failing
• Jo's own experience of emerging from DFV as a "one-woman island" and how she rebuilt her social world step by step
• Why rebuilding connection does not have to be a big leap and why small moments of safety, repeated over time, are where healing actually happens
• Why not every friendship survives trauma and why that grief is real, valid, and part of recovery
• How safe, healthy friendships can become part of the recovery itself
• Kris's story cut off quickly, isolated for a long time, and how she found her way back through DV support groups, one kind person at a time
• Why social awkwardness after trauma is completely normal and why confidence is usually rebuilt through reconnecting, not before it

 

Practical tips from this episode:

• Start with one trusted person and keep it low pressure. A phone call, a coffee, a short visit
• Consider joining a support group or community activity. Meeting others with shared experience can be deeply validating and a genuine source of new friendship
• You do not owe anyone your story. Think in advance about what you are comfortable sharing and what you are not, and hold that boundary confidently
• Notice who makes you feel emotionally safe and protect your energy from those who do not
• Social awkwardness after trauma is normal. Confidence comes through connection, not before it
• Some friendships will not survive, and that's okay. Recovery creates space for healthier, more aligned relationships
• Know that you are worthy of friendship and connection, that has never changed

 

Kris's tips for rebuilding socially:

• Know that you are a good person with good things to offer, which is still true, even if abuse tried to convince you otherwise.
• There are kind people out there who genuinely want to spend time with you, find one, and others tend to follow
• Go and find your people, even if it starts with just one

 

A note for listeners:

This podcast covers topics related to domestic and family violence. Please take care of yourself as you listen. If anything comes up for you, support is available.

1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 | 1800respect.org.au | Available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week

 

About Verdella:

Rise and Reclaim is proudly brought to you by Verdella, an online domestic violence recovery program that walks alongside people as they rebuild their lives after DFV. Available free to participants through licensed workplaces and community service organisations.

Visit: verdella.com.au to find out more.

 

Connect with WorkHaven:

workhaven.com.au

hello@workhaven.com.au

Subscribe and follow Rise and Reclaim so you do not miss future episodes. If this podcast has resonated with you, please share it; you never know who might need to hear it.

Domestic and family violence does not just leave physical marks. One of its most lasting and least talked about impacts is what it does to a person's confidence. Their self-worth, their trust in their own judgement, their sense of who they are. In this episode of Rise and Reclaim, Jo Mason is joined by Mel, a confidence and communication expert, and Tess, a victim-survivor and powerful advocate, to explore what it really means to rebuild confidence after DFV. How to get there, one step at a time.   Warm, practical, and full of wisdom, this episode will make you feel less alone and more hopeful about the road ahead.   In this episode:

• How DFV erodes confidence slowly over time and why it does not simply return when the relationship ends
• Why rebuilding confidence is not about becoming a different person but reconnecting with who you always were
• Jo's personal experience of rebuilding confidence step by step after leaving her DFV situation
• The power of journaling and looking back to see how far you have come
• Mel's practical strategies for rebuilding confidence including self-care, micro-resets, hobbies, and the love file
• How to identify subtle signs that your confidence has been affected, including diminishing language, over-apologising, and comparisonitis
• Tess's extraordinary story from struggling to buy a dishwasher to standing in front of 500 people as a speaker and facilitator
• Why it is okay to wobble and why asking for support is a sign of strength
• How to challenge negative thoughts that were programmed into you during the relationship
• The importance of setting boundaries, practicing self-compassion, and investing in yourself
• How to support someone else who is rebuilding their confidence after DFV

  Key tips from this episode:

• Be kind to yourself: Focus on what you have control over, not what you do not
• Prioritise self-care: Even five minutes a day doing something that brings you joy makes a difference
• Start a love file: Collect kind words, compliments, and nice messages for the days when you need a reminder of your worth
• Rediscover what brought you joy: If you cannot remember, think back to what you loved as a child
• Journal: Not just to get things out, but to look back and see your own progress
• Notice your glimmer moments: The small sparks of joy that are easy to overlook but worth savouring
• The only response to a compliment is thank you: You do not have to believe it yet, but practice saying it
• Name your inner critic: Give them a name, picture them, and tell them to leave
• Stop comparing yourself to others: The only meaningful comparison is you today versus you before
• Set small goals: They do not have to be big. Getting to the letterbox counts
• Set boundaries: This is one of the most important acts of self-care and confidence you can practice
• Practice self-compassion: You are going to have wobbly days. That is not failure. That is recovery

  Resources mentioned in this episode: Lasagna Love: Request a free lasagna or donate one to someone in need at lasagnalove.org How to Fail with Elizabeth Day: A podcast recommended by Mel, available on all major podcast platforms   A note for listeners: This episode covers topics related to domestic and family violence and its emotional and psychological impact. Please take care of yourself as you listen. If anything comes up for you, support is available.   1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 | 1800respect.org.au | Available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week   About Verdella: Rise and Reclaim is proudly brought to you by Verdella, an online domestic violence recovery program that walks alongside people as they rebuild their lives after DFV. Available free to participants through licensed workplaces and community service organisations. Visit: verdella.com.au to find out more.   Connect with WorkHaven: workhaven.com.au hello@workhaven.com.au   Subscribe and follow Rise and Reclaim so you do not miss future episodes. And if this podcast has resonated with you, please share it; you never know who might need to hear it.

Recovery after domestic and family violence is not just about leaving. It is about rebuilding your confidence, finances, friendships, career, and sense of self. Rise and Reclaim is a podcast series dedicated to that journey.   In this opening episode, host Jo Mason introduces the series, shares what listeners can expect across the six episodes ahead and opens up about her own experience of leaving a domestic violence situation eleven years ago. She shares what the road to rebuilding looked like for her.   In this episode:  

• What Rise and Reclaim is about and who it is for
• Why recovery after DFV touches almost every area of a person's life, such as finances, confidence, identity, relationships, career, and wellbeing
• Jo's personal story of leaving after eleven years and what she faced in those early days
• How to support someone else who is rebuilding after DFV
• Why recovery is not linear and why that is okay
• What is coming up in future episodes

    A note for listeners: This podcast covers topics related to domestic and family violence. Please take care of yourself as you listen. If anything comes up for you, support is available.   1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 | 1800respect.org.au | Available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week   About Verdella: Rise and Reclaim is proudly brought to you by Verdella, an online domestic violence recovery program that walks alongside people as they rebuild their lives after DFV. Available free to participants through licensed workplaces and community service organisations. Visit: verdella.com.au to find out more.   Connect with WorkHaven: workhaven.com.au hello@workhaven.com.au   Subscribe and follow Rise and Reclaim so you do not miss future episodes. If this podcast has resonated with you, please share it; you never know who might need to hear it.