After 54 episodes filled with heartfelt and thought-provoking conversations, the Rewilding Love podcast reaches its first season final episode. Rohini and Angus share their lessons learned from the journey and their guests. This is what makes Rewilding Love a genuine and life-changing relationship podcast.

Taking a journey of vulnerability with your partner opens your eyes to them. So you gain a better grasp of how they think and how they process things. This allows you to be more sensitive to their needs and provide support when necessary.

Seeing the value of honest, open, authentic communication helps us let go of the habitual thought patterns of the ego that try to keep us feeling safe, and supports us with awakening more fully to who we are and this impacts how we show up in relationships.

Angus recalled how Mavis Karn’s words (Episode 30) about letting go of anything that doesn’t look like love helped him realize how he can get caught up in his programming and conditioning and use anger as a coping mechanism. Understanding this habit allowed him to gain more compassion for himself and for Rohini.

Angus and Rohini have lived that transformation. They have been through the same ups and downs that the couples they work with have. As Rohini said, they lived in high pain, high conflict relationships that didn’t look like they would ever find peace — but they did. And now, they can pass on what they learned, so others can share openly and vulnerably, and truly experience the love that is their true nature and express that love.

This episode explores:

• Not identifying with our ego
• Vulnerability as a turning point 
• How deeper connections help us find freshness and newness in relationships
• Getting caught up in programming and conditioning and getting free

Show Notes:

Alicia and Mateo: Episodes 1 to 15 of the Rewilding Love podcast followed their journey towards reconciliation.

Kelly McGonigal: A health psychologist from Stanford University and featured TED Speaker in 2013. She talked about the upside of stress and the effect of oxytocin on our brain, heart, and entire body.

Oxytocin: A hormone produced in the brain that is associated with anti-stress-like effects, empathy, hugging, orgasm, and sexual activity.

Spanner in the works: A British idiom that means a disruption, a foil, or cause of problems.

Angus Ross & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships. They co-facilitate private couples' intensive retreat programs that rewild relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is the author of the ebook Marriage, and they are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can also follow Angus and Rohini Ross on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about their work visit: therewilders.org. Read Rohini's latest blog.

Episode 54 features the music of RhythmPharm with Los Angeles-based composer Greg Ellis.

Angus and Rohini talk about the healing power of embodying the full human experience, or put another way, the full breadth of human emotions. They each reflect on how they used to turn to coping mechanisms to avoid their more painful emotions, but these strategies just made the experience more difficult and had a negative impact on their relationship. Their coping mechanisms tended to push the other away.

It's in resisting our emotional experience that we suffer. As Sydney Banks, the man whose teachings inspired ours, said: "if the only thing people learned was not to be afraid of their experience, that alone would change the world." The fear-based thoughts we have about our emotional experience is what paralyzes us.

For example, Angus shares about his fear of heights and how once he saw the role his thinking was playing in magnifying that fear, he was able to just feel the emotion and still approach the activity involving the heights (like riding a roller coaster). Letting himself feel the fear instead of being stuck in the thoughts about the fear, allows him to still take part and ultimately enjoy the activity. 

Embracing our emotional experience, without judgement of ourselves, also allows us to experience deeper connection with others. It is difficult to have an authentic experience with someone else if we are "white-knuckling" our way through our own emotional experience. If we aren't being authentic then we aren't being vulnerable -- and our relationships require vulnerability for there to be true connection. 

This episode explores:

• Resisting our emotions causes suffering
• Being with our emotions is authentic and supports connection
• Letting go of control is actually the most pleasurable choice
• The healing power of experiencing all of our emotions

Show Notes

Knott's Berry Farm: "California's Best Theme Park" and where Angus rode a rollercoaster eyes-wide-open, screaming like a baby

Angus Ross & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships. They co-facilitate a private couples' intensives retreat program that rewilds relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is the author of the ebook Marriage, and they are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can also follow Angus and Rohini Ross on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about their work visit: therewilders.org. Read Rohini's latest blog.

Episode 44 features the music of RhythmPharm with Los Angeles-based composer Greg Ellis.

We spoke with Rewilding Guide and Registered Nutritional Therapist, Becs Steele, about her tumultuous experiences with pregnancy, due to a rare genetic disease, and how looking back she can see now that her expectations about what her life was supposed to be like were adding to her anxiety. This exacerbated her health issues. During the years of trying for a second child, Becs suffered from several health conditions including autoimmune thyroid, endometriosis, rosacea, and anxiety. She now pinpoints them as symptoms of the stress she was going through. 

Upon learning about the understanding behind the Rewilding metaphor, Becs saw that expectations about life are really just made up. And yet she recognizes that she and so many others can get so stuck on these expectations and obsess about reaching them. For Becs, reaching her goal meant enduring very traumatic pregnancies, which she does not regret at all as she now has two beautiful children. But reflecting on her experience, she can see now how she was not aware earlier that she was going to be OK regardless of outcomes. 

Becs also reflects with us about how stuck we get when we try to control our experience and our emotions. If we can soften around our feelings, and make space for them, they move through us more gracefully than when we attempt to stuff them down. This goes hand in hand with not beating ourselves up for not being "spiritual enough" or using spirituality as a measuring stick to beat ourselves up with. Instead, we can be with the full breadth of the human experience, and allow our grief to heal naturally.

Show Notes
Translocation: a type of chromosomal abnormality in which a chromosome breaks and a portion of it attaches to a different chromosome. This can result in stillbirths or severe disabilities.
Bird by Bird: a documentary about Anne Lamott where she beautifully describes how being open to grief doesn't mean we won't have a scar, but it will heal cleanly.

Becs Steele helps people who experience anxiety or depression to have more personal freedom in body, mind, and spirit.  As a registered Nutritional Therapist, she is constantly discovering the power of the mind and body connection. She brings clients to their present moment experience to uncover what is keeping them stuck.  Using nutrition in combination with coaching she witnesses clients have big shifts in their bodies and minds.

Angus Ross & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships. They co-facilitate a private couples' intensives retreat program that rewilds relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is the author of the ebook Marriage, and they are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can also follow Angus and Rohini Ross on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about their work visit: therewilders.org. Read Rohini's latest blog.

Episode 43 features the music of RhythmPharm with Los Angeles-based composer Greg Ellis.

Rohini and Angus talk about the journey they've been on with desire and intimacy in their marriage and their reflections on, and insights around, how they overcame the challenges they experienced in the past.

At the beginning of their relationship, sexual desire was spontaneous and Rohini had no issue matching Angus' libido. But as time went on, and as intimacy and comfort ramped up, she found her sexual desire waning. This made her feel self-conscious and wonder if there was something wrong with her. When she became aware of this understanding, found herself feeling more relaxed and at ease in herself. One of the byproducts of this was she found herself more present and able to enjoy sexual intimacy. She saw she didn't need to fix anything to help her experience more desire, she just needed to relax. She experienced for herself desire can be cultivated. 

Angus' initial response to Rohini's lack of desire was to question his manhood and feel insecure. He realized with time that he was blaming her for the way he felt. Rohini not matching his libido was something he was taking personally. This blame and pressure further perpetuated Rohini's dwindling desire for sex. Once Angus saw this for what it was, that he was reacting to his own insecurity, he was able to take the pressure off and meet Rohini where she was. This in turn made helped Rohini to feel more open.

This episode explores:

• How noticing that we're caught up allows us to naturally relax and open to pleasure
• Turning inward rather than outward when experiencing less desire can help us rekindle desire
• How sexual intimacy can be a doorway to experiencing the divine

Show notes
Michelin Star Ranking System: how the finest dining restaurants are ranked, from 1 lowest to 3 exceptional. Also a way Angus almost stumbled into ranking his and Rohini's sex.

Slow Sex: The Art and Craft of the Female Orgasm: one of the resources Rohini turned to during the lack of desire insecurity phase

Ted Talk Masturbation is the New Meditation: self-explanatory but made Angus feel a bit prickly when Rohini brought it up.

Angus Ross & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships. They co-facilitate a private couples' intensives retreat program that rewilds relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is the author of the ebook Marriage, and they are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can also follow Angus and Rohini Ross on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about their work visit: therewilders.org. Read Rohini's latest blog.

Episode 42 features the music of RhythmPharm with Los Angeles-based composer Greg Ellis.

We spoke with the incredible Jacquie Moses, who supports others with seeing their true potential and innate resilience.

When Jacquie learned about the understanding that the Rewilding metaphor is based on, she completely shifted the way she works with clients. Instead of trying to "fix" them, she saw the importance of seeing that her clients are completely whole and well just as they are. This creates a transformative healing space for the people she works with, and for herself as well, as she found that she didn't need fixing either.

For several years she delivered mental health interventions in several prisons in the UK. Jacquie and her co-facilitators would create a space centered around two fundamental truths: everyone has 100% innate well-being at their core, and as humans, we experience life from the inside out. Jacquie describes how the men she worked with would "light up", exhibiting as they woke up to the long-forgotten, or never-realized, spark inside of themselves. This was her experience with the participants no matter what their history.

By meeting people right where they are, without trying to control or manage them, we give them permission to begin to trust themselves and experience their own wisdom. Recognizing their divinity allows them to see it too. 

This episode explores:

• The healing power of seeing people's innate health
• Treating clients based on wellness instead of illness
• How to show up authentically with another in a situation of conflict
• The value of human to human, heart to heart connection

Jacquie Moses has worked in diverse settings and has experience working with teams, leaders, young people, and communities. For over four years, she was part of a core team delivering cutting-edge, evidence-based, mental health interventions (based on the Three Principles) in prisons in the UK. Alongside this work, Jacquie has experience of sharing the Principles in organizations and charities and is currently mentoring employees and leaders to become wellbeing ambassadors and mentors within their organizations.

Angus Ross & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships. They co-facilitate a private couples' intensives retreat program that rewilds relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is the author of the ebook Marriage, and they are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can also follow Angus and Rohini Ross on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about their work visit: therewilders.org. Read Rohini's latest blog.

Episode 41 features the music of RhythmPharm with Los Angeles-based composer Greg Ellis.

Just back from vacation, we wanted to share how to more easily navigate low moods and how seeing them as transient and impersonal can make relationships so much easier and more graceful.

Angus has a perfect example of this from our vacation in Hawaii when he was feeling very caught up and upset with our daughters, he stepped outside, and by looking up at the night sky and seeing the moon, he was distracted just enough from his low mood that his mind settled naturally. Once his mind settled, he was able to re-approach the situation with more ease and grace.

Rohini shares about how it was through experiencing more of her own safety and well-being within herself that allowed her to get more perspective on her human psychology. Once she was freed up to see her psychology at work, she could lean into her built-in navigation system and ride out low moods instead of giving them more meaning than they warranted. 

When you get caught up, if you can attend to what you need to do to help regulate your own internal state, rather than searching for someone to blame, or a "fall guy" as Angus likes to say, you can then bypass escalation and return to connection more quickly. This doesn't mean you should always be in a good mood and that low moods are shameful, it means accepting where you're at in the moment, instead of blaming someone else for your current state of mind.

This episode explores:

• How to handle a low mood
• Watching the fight or flight experience
• Taking care of ourselves first helps relationships
• The power of seeing the impersonal in a low mood
• The character we play when we're caught up vs. when we're seeing things clearly

Show Notes
Slapping one's thighs and pinching one's leg: when Angus is caught up and frustrated he might do this
Pulling down pants: when Angus approaches the airport security line, he might instinctively start to do this
Alien creature: the sum of our conditioned thinking and habits

Angus Ross & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships. They co-facilitate individualized couples' intensives that rewild relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is the author of the ebook Marriage, and they are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can also follow Angus and Rohini Ross on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about their work visit: therewilders.org. Read Rohini's latest blog.

Episode 40 features the music of RhythmPharm with Los Angeles-based composer Greg Ellis.

We thought we would offer you a  recap of season one of Rewilding Love before taking a summer break and take the opportunity to respond to a reviewer who requested we speak more tangibly about the understanding that informs our work. 

Angus provides a beautiful and comprehensive description of the "Three Principles", one of the names given to the non-dual spiritual teaching revealed to Sydney Banks. 

Our rewilding metaphor is informed by Syd's teachings, and we have been mentored by many of his original students. Rohini speaks to how this understanding helps relationships and why our work always begins with helping individuals experience a deeper connection to their innate well-being. The by-product of this allows couples to experience more love and understanding in their relationships.

We use the rewilding metaphor to describe and inform our work because rewilding captures the aliveness of being connected to our spiritual essence -- it's wild, it's messy, but like nature, it is always looking to optimize our experience here. It's always moving toward health and vitality.

Our next Rewilding Love episode will be available on September 13th. Until then, have a lovely summer, and we hope you enjoy your rewilding!

This episode explores:

• The rewilding metaphor behind our work
• Being with the full human emotional experience
• A description of the Three Principles of mind, consciousness, and thought based on the teachings of Sydney Banks
• The power of seeing the answer lies within

Show Notes
Wheat from the chaff: chiefly a British saying that means to judge which people or things in a group are bad and which ones are good

Understanding behind the rewilding metaphor: the three principles of mind, consciousness, and thought, as described by Sydney Banks

Non-dual spiritual teaching: Nonduality is about oneness. It is expressed in various traditions but has traditionally come from India. However, it is not limited to India, because the core truth of oneness is evident in all traditions even though it may be expressed in different ways.

When you go beyond awareness, there is a state of non-duality, in which there is no cognition, only pure being. In the state of non-duality, all separation ceases. ~ Nisargadatta Maharaj

Altar boy: One of Angus's childhood roles

Angus Ross & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships. They co-facilitate individualized couples' intensives that rewild relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is the author of the ebook Marriage, and they are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can also follow Angus and Rohini Ross on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about their work visit: therewilders.org. Read Rohini's latest blog.

Episode 39  features the music of RhythmPharm with Los Angeles-based composer Greg Ellis.

Nessi Gomes and Lino Hermesh, romantic and business partners, created Vocal Odyssey, a workshop designed to help people meet the spirit of their voice. After recently participating in their workshop, Rohini shares with listeners about her experience and invites Nessi and Lino to talk about the healing power of their work.

From a young age, Nessi discovered the ability to heal and navigate her emotions by exploring sound. She now shares the therapeutic value of sonic expression along with her professional performances. Initially, Lino sought to manage Nessi's musical career, but following some skepticism, he joined her efforts in creating these workshops. He pursued his own training and now co-facilitates the workshops. He sees how powerful group settings are for creating new connections, both physically and spiritually. He sees the workshops as a bridge to something far larger than ourselves.

For Rohini, allowing herself to be with the vulnerability of using her voice, in a group setting, was healing and connected her to a deep sense of aliveness and playfulness she hadn't realized was dormant. The voice is a portal to our own individual truth and also to what is universal that lies within us all.

This episode explores:

• The voice as a natural tonic and ancient medicine
• The power of community and group work
• Experiencing natural highs 
• How the voice cannot lie

Show Notes
Vocal Odyssey: Meet the spirit of your voice
Nessi Gomes' music

Nessi Gomes is a musician, group facilitator, and certified Holistic Voice Therapist with The British Academy of Sound Therapy in Group Voice Therapy. In the past four years, Nessi has shared her music and voice retreats in 25 countries. In October 2016 she released her debut album ‘Diamonds & Demons’ and received Best of British Unsigned female artist for that year. Learn more about Nessi.

Lino Hermesh is co-founder, with Nessi, of Vocal Odyssey. He is A Certified Voice Practitioner (The British Academy of Sound Therapy, UK) and holds a Diploma in Relational Mindfulness/Core Process Psychotherapy.   In PachaMacha, Costa Rica he met Nessi. A meeting that changed their lives and took them both on a musical voyage of creativity and self-growth through 30 countries in which they shared their work in the past 6 years. Learn more about Lino.

Angus & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships. They co-facilitate individualized couples' intensives that rewild relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is the author of the ebook Marriage, and they are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can also follow Angus and Rohini Ross on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about their work visit: therewilders.org. Read Rohini's latest blog.

Episode 38  features the music of RhythmPharm with Los Angeles-based composer Greg Ellis.

Claire Shutes talks with us about what she has learned living with cerebral palsy (CP).  Claire was born with CP, a muscular disorder that stems from a lack of oxygen to the brain at birth. She considers herself lucky that only her walking is impacted. Others with the disorder can face further complications. Navigating CP has by no means been easy, but early on Claire came to view her physical limitation as a wonderful gift that's here to teach her life lessons.

Claire shares with us some of the struggles she faced while dating in the past. She found herself seemingly locked into a pattern of cultivating codependent relationships. After experiencing a severe bout of depression, Claire reflected on her role in these relationships and realized she no longer needed to play that part. Shortly after her insight, she met her soulmate and husband, Tom.

Claire views her work with her clients as a spiritual practice. She brings this universal truth of our interconnectedness into all of the work she does. She is also the co-founder of The Almond Tree Foundation that supports families living with illness or disability. 

This episode explores:

• Life circumstances as gifts to learn from 
• Seeing potential instead of limitation
• Suffering stemming from resistance 
• Reflecting on our own role in relationships

Show Notes
Almond Tree Foundation: Claire's non-profit providing wellbeing support for families living with disability or illness. Click the link to access the free webinar series Claire mentioned in the episode.

Claire Shutes is a Master Transformative Coach and Three Principles Practitioner.  She founded Potent Coaching in 2006 and has an international client base including businesses, individuals, and the charitable sector. Claire speaks and trains internationally, having served as faculty on Michael Neill’s Supercoach Academy and One Thought’s Foundations for Practitioners Program. She recently founded The Almond Tree Foundation to support the wellbeing of families living with illness and disability. Prior to becoming a coach Claire produced and directed observational documentaries for the BBC and CH4.

Angus & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships. They co-facilitate individualized couples' intensives that rewild relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is the author of the ebook Marriage, and they are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can also follow Angus and Rohini Ross on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about their work visit: therewilders.org. Read Rohini's latest blog.

Episode 37 features the music of RhythmPharm with Los Angeles-based composer Greg Ellis.

See full show notes here.

Jennifer Miller-Allgeier beautifully ties together the importance of affirming  identities across all gender and sexual spectrums with her own rewilding journey and how it has impacted her marriage and her work. She guides parents on how to speak to their children who have come out or are questioning their assigned gender or sexuality.

In her work as a Pediatric Nurse Practitioner, Jenn works predominantly with LGBTQ youth and she helps us understand some of the best ways to affirm and support members of the LGBTQ community, and how to use more inclusive language in our work. She also incorporates her personal rewilding journey into her work with youth, helping them to see their innate wholeness.

Jenn shares with us about her own hardships in her marriage and how coming into the understanding about her own true nature, that she is always whole, helped her to transform her relationship and rekindle the flames of its long-forgotten honeymoon stage. She reminds us that while something may seem hopeless, we're only ever one insight away from having a new experience.

We explore:

• Affirming LGTBQ youth and how rewilding helps inform this
• Rekindling our relationships back to the honeymoon stage
• Giving without strings attached as self-care

Show Notes
GLESN: Championing safe, supportive, and LGBTQ-inclusive K-12 education in the U.S.
P-Flag: the first and largest organization for LGBTQ+ people, their parents and families, and allies.
Ted Talk: Masturbation is the New Meditation
Rewilding Feminine Pleasure with Rohini Ross: Free 10-day journey for experiencing more pleasure and intimacy in your life.

Jenn Miller-Allgeier is a Rewilding Guide, Pediatric Nurse Practitioner, and Reiki practitioner.  She has studied spiritual and holistic healing throughout her life and in 2017 began her journey with the inside-out understanding. After personally experiencing how the understanding of our true nature could provide relief and freedom from anxiety, she began incorporating it into her work with youth. More recently, she has begun to leverage this understanding to reach families, communities, and organizations with the goal of increasing respect and compassion for all identities and people, Offering services that promote the development of equitable, just, and supportive relationships.

Angus & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships. They co-facilitate individualized couples' intensives that rewild relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is the author of the ebook Marriage, and they are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can also follow Angus and Rohini Ross on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about their work visit: therewilders.org. Read Rohini's latest blog.

Episode 36  features the music of RhythmPharm with Los Angeles-based composer Greg Ellis.

See full show notes here.

Ami Chen Mills-Naim talks with us about how she got into activism, particularly around politics and the climate crisis. She reminds us that spirituality and anger, and/or opposition, are not mutually exclusive, and protesting is often necessary to get the attention necessary for creating any kind of meaningful change. She shows us that we can show up, be human, and learn about - and fight against - grave injustices, without losing touch with our essential nature and oneness.

Her grounding and humility have allowed her to learn about her own biases without taking them personally, while still committing to personal change and growth in these areas. She courageously holds conversations with others she disagrees with in order to impart this wisdom and to see if they can find common ground.

Ami shows us that it's possible to hold more than one feeling and viewpoint at once (e.g. anger and love). She has joined many activist groups and enjoys bringing the spiritual side to the work she does on these issues. We admire her fortitude in joining these movements that are working tirelessly to push forth equality and human rights, as well as efforts to fight the climate crisis we face as residents of this planet.
 
Show Notes
Amanda Gorman: youngest inaugural poet in U.S. history
Heather McGhee: Author of The Sum of Us: What Racism Costs Everyone and How We Can Prosper Together
Shut it Down: An activist's guide to direct action and strategic civil disobedience
Awake a dream from Standing Rock: 2017 documentary about The Standing Rock Sioux Tribe peaceful resistance of construction of an oil pipeline through their land
Caste by Isabel Wilkerson: necessary reading on racism in the United States

Ami Chen Mills-Naim is a global speaker, coach, trainer, and author of State of Mind in the Classroom: Thought, Consciousness and the Essential Curriculum for Healthy Learning, and The Spark Inside: A Special Book for Youth. With her late father, the social scientist Dr. Roger Mills  she co-founded the non-profit Center for Sustainable Change, and served as its Executive Director and Education Director for a decade. She has been a speaker on innate wellness and resiliency, and a trainer of the “Three Principles” for more than 30 years. In response to recent, global events, she launched a YouTube Channel called The Heart of America, utilizing her journalism skills.

More on her current scope of work can be found at www.AmiChen.com.

Angus & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships. They co-facilitate individualized couples' intensives that rewild relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is the author of the ebook Marriage, and they are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can also follow Angus and Rohini Ross on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about their work visit: therewilders.org. Read Rohini's latest blog.

Episode 35  features the music of RhythmPharm with Los Angeles-based composer Greg Ellis.

See full show notes here.

While it’s normal to want to please partners in relationships, overextension of efforts often leads to conflict. In this episode, Rohini and Angus share their take on how to break the pattern of pleasing our partners without honoring our limitations, while valuing the importance of diversity in relationships. They also talk about how to surpass any feelings of resentment that may arise when the receiver misses out on celebrating the giver’s generosity.

It’s important to know our boundaries and articulate our limits to our partners. This is important for “pleasers” in a marriage who have a tendency to put themselves first without listening to what works for them. Often, they resort to overriding their instincts for the sake of a quiet and peaceful coexistence and to avoid emotional pain. And, when the appreciation they receive is not equal to the overextension they’re making, it only leads to unhappiness.

Assuming that our partner recognizes the efforts we’re making disregards the fact that the other person is not psychic, or that they process information differently than we do. Pleasing our partner is healthy, but only if it’s within our internal boundaries. If it’s just to feel safe from disappointment, then the misplaced motivation only serves as a coping mechanism to protect ourselves.

In this episode, Rohini and Angus offer helpful advice on how not to keep giving with our reserve fuel to the point of depletion. Doing so ensures we’ll only be running on fumes. It’s easier to get angry when holding on to old patterns of people-pleasing behavior.

To overcome the conflict that results from a lack of appreciation, it’s important to be present and more honest with ourselves. We must be okay with being vulnerable.

One important takeaway from Rohini and Angus’ discussion is when we speak our truth from a neutral place without fear of being judged, we can show up more authentically in our relationships. This creates a harmonious give-and-take dynamic that allows two people who love each other to enjoy the relationship.

Angus Ross & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships. They co-facilitate private couples' intensive retreat programs that rewild relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is the author of the ebook Marriage, and they are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can also follow Angus and Rohini Ross on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about their work visit: therewilders.org. Read Rohini's latest blog.

Episode 52 features the music of RhythmPharm with Los Angeles-based composer Greg Ellis.

Aaron Turner, Ph.D., reminds us with humor and wisdom that we're only ever up against our thinking and that we're always living in the experience of thought. It's powerful to understand how this is universal so as to not try to "beat the system". While we can't escape the way the mind works, we understand how it works so we can open to our deeper knowing and see beyond our conditioned thinking.  

Aaron learned this understanding from his uncle and aunt, George and Linda Pransky, and while he was skeptical of its truth and impact at first, after seeing George work with a couple, he was floored by his results. Aaron ended up joining the Pranskys' practice and helped countless people wake up to their innate capacity for clarity of mind, transforming businesses and relationships.

If we can see our upset as a symptom of our disturbed mind instead of something or someone outside of ourselves, we actually, ironically, free ourselves. When we understand how our experience is created and embrace the fullness of who we are beyond our thoughts and feelings, this impacts every area of life.

This episode explores:

• How the understanding behind the rewilding metaphor applies to everything
• Our ex-factor is how we relate to our thoughts
• It is freeing to stop blaming people and things outside of us for our feelings

Show Notes:
"I'm kickin' my ass do you mind?!": Jim Carrey in Liar Liar or a description of Aaron when he's believing his low-mood thinking
Cuddly Duddly of the 3 Principles: referring to Dudley Moore, an English actor and comedian, who came to be known as cuddly Dudley; also how Angus endearingly referred to Aaron for his charm and lovability

Aaron Turner has a PhD in Anthropology and worked with the Pranskys as the company's CEO for 10 years. Aaron has dedicated his professional life to applying the transformative potential of an understanding of the mind to our current challenges and limitations, highlighting the direct link between people’s state of mind and their outcomes. Aaron founded One Thought to bring an appreciation of this understanding to the mainstream. He has also been developing and providing practitioner training since 2014. Aaron has been a partner in designing the largest Three Principles conference worldwide since 2010. He is a founding board member of the 3PGC and is currently its president.

Angus & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships. They co-facilitate individualized couples' intensives that rewild relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is the author of the ebook Marriage, and they are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can also follow Angus and Rohini Ross on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about their work visit: therewilders.org. Read Rohini's latest blog.

Episode 34  features the music of RhythmPharm with Los Angeles-based composer Greg Ellis.

See full show notes here.

We can't help but relax when we speak with Dicken Bettinger. His way of being is so calming and the way he points to our innate health and wisdom is so clear and grounded.  

Dicken learned about the understanding we work from directly from Sydney Banks. His life was transformed both personally and professionally after listening to Syd just one time, and he was able to enjoy many more opportunities to be mentored by Syd.  

Prior to meeting Sydney Banks, Dicken was heavily involved in self-development.  After meeting him, Dicken pivoted and dropped self-help and shifted his approach to counseling. He no longer saw mental illness only wellbeing. He now viewed his clients (and his family) as having perfect mental health, but for being caught up in their thinking. He helps his clients to see their innate resilience and capacity to wake up from conditioned thinking.

Dicken reminds us that we are built for shifts -- we're designed to have insights. And the best way to be impacted by an insight is to open to the feeling of it, rather than trying to understand it intellectually. 

This episode explores:

• How anxiety is created by our thinking not circumstance
• The power of insight and how staying with the feeling is what matters
• The original teachings of Sydney Banks and how they shaped the rest of Dicken's life and career
• Destination as an illusion, there is only the present
• Being in a relationship helps wake us up to who we are and reveals our blind spots

Dicken Bettinger, Ed.D., received his doctorate in counseling psychology and practiced as a licensed clinical psychologist for years. His career spanning 44 years focused on psychological well-being. Dicken co-founded a training, counseling, and education center in Vermont and was a member of senior staff at Pransky and Associates for 16 years, where he developed and led corporate and university leadership trainings, team development, and executive coaching. In 2012 Dicken founded his own business called 3 Principles Mentoring.  He offers 4-day immersion retreats for individuals and couples and offers development for 3 Principles practitioners. Dicken co-authored a book called Coming Home: Uncovering the Foundations of Psychological Well-being. He has been happily married for 52 years.

Angus & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships. They co-facilitate individualized couples' intensives that rewild relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is the author of the ebook Marriage, and they are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can also follow Angus and Rohini Ross on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about their work visit: therewilders.org. Read Rohini's latest blog.

Episode 33  features the music of RhythmPharm with Los Angeles-based composer Greg Ellis.

See full show notes here.

**Warning: This episode contains a discussion of sexual violence and suicidal ideation. Please use discretion if you are sensitive to these topics.**

Yael Abramson was so generous with us in sharing her life experience and mental health journey. Yael demonstrates our innate resilience and ability as human beings to find freedom from the suffering brought about by hardships and traumas that so many of us are unfortunately confronted with in our lives.

For many years, Yael felt at the mercy of manic episodes and periods of deep depression that included persistent suicidal ideation. While she found some initial help from medication, it wasn't until she learned about the role of thought in her mental health that she experienced a tremendous shift in perspective that freed her up to find her own voice. And through her participation in the Rewilding Community, Yael has found deeper peace within herself  regarding her gender expression and sexuality. 

Yael helps us see that even the more dire-seeming mental illness diagnoses are not as fixed as society would have us think. Since Yael no longer sees the voice in her head as an authority, she no longer struggles with mania and suicidal ideation. And she is no longer frightened by her memories. Yael shares that she is now free. 

This episode explores:

• Overcoming mental illness
• How self-acceptance is healing
• The power of a shift in understanding
• Finding your voice when you don't feel you belong
• Healing from trauma and  feeling free

Show Notes
If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts, please consider reaching out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, you are not alone.
If you or someone you know is suffering or has suffered from sexual violence, please consider reaching out to the confidential National Sexual Assault Hotline. You are not alone.

Yael Abramson is a Three Principles practitioner, a life coach, and a Rewilding Guide. She is also a facilitator of the Missing Link book club in Hebrew and works with a group of people translating the many books available about this understanding for the Hebrew-speaking community. Yael also has a private counseling practice. As a young person struggling with mental illness, Yael felt that she was broken. After coming across the understanding behind rewilding she slowly started to feel free, ultimately finding more feelings of security and peace of mind.

Angus & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships. They co-facilitate individualized couples' intensives that rewild relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is the author of the ebook Marriage, and they are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can also follow Angus and Rohini Ross on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about their work visit: therewilders.org. Read Rohini's latest blog.

Episode 32  features the music of RhythmPharm with Los Angeles-based composer Greg Ellis.

See full show notes here

Lila Turner is uproariously funny and wise as she speaks with us about her incredible work helping singles who have given up hope on finding love.

Equipped with the knowledge of the one thing that holds people back - their own state of mind - she is able to help her clients flip their perspective and see it is not the people they're dating that are keeping them from finding a lasting relationship, but rather it's how they are approaching dating.

Lila helps her clients to become more aware of their feelings and state of mind. So while historically they may have shown up to dates feeling insecure with a lot on their mind, they can now show up feeling at ease and present to the person in front of them. This tends to completely shift their results in dating from frustration to fun and often to forming lasting partnerships.

Lila has a beautiful way of sharing this understanding using simple and yet profound metaphors. She likens showing up feeling insecure to a date to applying hand cream while wearing latex gloves. We're only able to connect when the gloves come off and we allow ourselves to be vulnerable. In fact, as Angus points out, vulnerability is sexy.
 
This episode explores:

• Vulnerability creates connection
• Insecurity is unattractive, full stop
• Being present with less on your mind is confidence
• Dating apps are not the problem, state of mind is

Show Notes
Kiss the Ground: a documentary about rewilding soil to save the planet
Biggest Little Farm: a documentary about a couple that unlocks the power of biodiversity on a once-barren farm
Fifty Shades of Beige: Lila's sexy adaptation of Fifty Shades of Grey

Lila Turner is the founder of Relationship Ready, a sister business of One Thought with the sole purpose of addressing the invisible hurdles that frustrated singles face. She also has the Becoming Relationship Ready podcast. Lila embraced working with singles when she noticed that some people struggled more than others to have the kind of relationship they wanted and that it was people’s state of mind around relationships and dating that was causing these frustrating patterns.  Lila also works alongside her husband, Aaron Turner, running the organization, One Thought. Together they design, develop and facilitate programs for individuals and organizations. She also co-runs the One Thought Foundations Program to develop new practitioners.

Angus & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships. They co-facilitate individualized couples' intensives that rewild relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is the author of the ebook Marriage, and they are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can also follow Angus and Rohini Ross on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about their work visit: therewilders.org. Read Rohini's latest blog.

Episode 31 features the music of RhythmPharm with Los Angeles-based composer Greg Ellis.

See full show notes here.

Mavis is a masterful therapist and coach who has been teaching the Three Principles and working with clients for over 40 years. Being in the presence of Mavis Karn feels like sitting in the ultimate seat of wellbeing, but just as Mavis points out, this feeling is simply a byproduct of us slowing down in the moment and releasing anything from our mind.

She teaches us about the importance of listening and how it comes first before anything else when looking to connect with others. Next, it is important to recognize our state of mind, as well as the other persons'. Understanding what mood we are in lets us know how to take care of ourselves and recognizing what another person's mood is, helps us to know whether or not they are in a good place to connect. Seeing state of mind makes it much easier to not take other people's behavior personally because we understand their behavior is a reflection of their state of mind and not us. Not taking other people's behavior personally means we suffer less.

Mavis has a beautiful way of speaking about how well we're made as humans, how we all are made of the same divine, universal intelligence, and how this essence of ours is more than enough to guide us toward a beautiful life. 

She simplifies human suffering by stating that in all her years working as a therapist there is only one diagnosis she would ever feel is appropriate, and that's forgetting how well we're made. When we aren't aware of this truth, we look in the wrong direction for healing and we struggle since it isn't there. But as soon as we trust in our divinity, we come back home.
 
This episode explores:

• The divine, universal intelligence we're made of
• We break the connection with our partners when we try to change their thinking, which can never work
• The way to notice our innate wellbeing is by simply remembering it's there
• When we are distracted from listening, just noticing that we're distracted releases us from the trance
• The power of listening with nothing on your mind

Show Notes
Mavis Karn's recent and free listening trainings are accessible here.

Mavis Karn, LSW, MA, is in private practice offering coaching, counseling, teaching, education, and consulting services. Mavis’s honesty and humble “true north” understanding of the inborn potential of each of us is deeply and broadly respected by clients and colleagues globally. She does no marketing. She works from her home office in Minnesota. She’s the author of a well-known letter to juvenile inmates The Secret. You can connect with Mavis by sending an email to mavis.karn@aol.com

Angus & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships. They co-facilitate individualized couples' intensives that rewild relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is the author of the ebook Marriage, and they are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can also follow Angus and Rohini Ross on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about their work visit: therewilders.org. Read Rohini's latest blog.

Episode 30 features the music of RhythmPharm with Los Ange

Azul Leguizamon, valued member of The Rewilders team and life coach, graciously shares with us about her life, including traumatic experiences she went through in her own home while growing up. Her message for anyone who has dealt with trauma in their life is that it is possible to not suffer with it forever.

Azul's story is so inspiring. She shares with us about the different levels of insight she has had about her mom throughout her life, and how what she has come to see most recently has been the most liberating. Although her mother's behavior has not been acceptable, Azul can see that her mom is suffering and caught up in her own thinking, allowing Azul to no longer make personal meaning out of her mother's behavior. While she still sets healthy boundaries to keep herself safe, not taking things personally has changed everything in her life.

Azul shares about how now with less on her mind, less meaning-making happening in the background, she can show up to her relationships and work with a lightness that has been transformative. She likens this experience to having a loud rock band playing in her head (her thinking) which keeps her from hearing the soothing flute in the background (her wisdom) that is always playing. She is hearing the flute much more often now and feels she is living a brand new life.

This episode explores:

• Looking in a new direction for healing trauma
• How to see something new by experiencing life instead of intellectualizing it 
• We are all enough and innately worthy of love
• Freeing ourselves up from thinking so we can love
• The freedom in seeing others' psychological innocence and not taking behaviors personally
• The mind naturally untangles itself

Show Notes
The Jerk: A Steve Martin movie from the late '70s with a problematic plot, but it provided Angus with a helpful metaphor about finding one's rhythm.

Azul Leguizamon is a life coach,  rewilding guide, literary translator, project manager, school teacher, mother, and wife.  Azul has been exploring the three principles since 2019 and took a deep dive into them through the Rewilding Guide Training program. She has a previous background as a Reiki Master, Evolutive Tarot teacher, Registered Bach Flower Practitioner, Laughter Yoga Teacher, and Laughter Therapy practitioner. Azul's life experience and training led her to realize that there must be a simpler answer than using all these techniques. When she discovered this understanding she found herself at home and the insights she has had have been life-changing.

Angus & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships. They co-facilitate individualized couples' intensives that rewild relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is the author of the ebook Marriage, and they are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can also follow Angus and Rohini Ross on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about their work visit: therewilders.org. Read Rohini's latest blog.

Episode 29 features the music of RhythmPharm with Los Angeles-based composer Greg Ellis.

This is a powerful and peaceful conversation with Chip and Jan Chipman, who have been teaching this understanding for over 40 years worldwide. We zero in on a couple of themes that emerge naturally throughout the episode: when we're seeking spiritual enlightenment, it actually takes us in the opposite direction and how presence is the key ingredient for having an enjoyable, healthy relationship.

Jan and Chip each moved us when describing their initial life-changing insights. In one fell swoop, Jan was able to see her innate beauty, and later Chip saw how surrendering to the peace of the present moment could sustain his wellbeing for the rest of his life. These insights transformed every facet of both of their lives, including of course their relationship to each other.

The four of us explore how being in pure presence with our partner is spiritual in essence and allows us to see the divine in each other. Listening deeply to others allows for their spiritual essence to be reflected back to us. All we have to do to be present is surrender to presence itself, which is always accessible but for our thinking that temporarily fogs over it.

This episode explores:

• Genius is the ability to see new thought
• Happiness is a state of mind
• Being present with our partners is spiritual
• We all inhabit the universal intelligence behind life
• Loving and listening from presence dissolves judgment

Show Notes
"Just Dropped In (To See What Condition My Condition Was In)": Song by Kenny Rogers and The First Edition, also one of Chip's metaphors for the self-created nature of mood.

Salt Spring Island: A gulf island between British Columbia, Canada, and Vancouver Island. It was home to Sydney Banks and is now home to the Three Principles Foundation and School.

Chip and Jan were mentored by Sydney Banks from 1975 to 2009 and conducted retreats with him in Europe and North America for many years. Over the years, Chip and Jan have created extensive programs in corporate, non-profit, educational, community, and correctional settings. They currently share their understanding through speaking engagements, retreats, webinars worldwide, as well as individual, group, and couples coaching. Chip is President of the Three Principles Foundation, and in 2008, co-founded the Three Principles School on Salt Spring Island, dedicated to sharing the simplicity and purity of the Three Principles.

Angus & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships. They co-facilitate individualized couples' intensives that rewild relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is the author of the ebook Marriage, and they are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can also follow Angus and Rohini Ross on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about their work visit: therewilders.org.

Episode 28 features the music of RhythmPharm with Los Angeles-based composer Greg Ellis.

It's easy to feel an instant heart and soul connection with Steve Adair, life coach and psychotherapist, who we spoke with about his passions in life, including his love for helping others, his appreciation for immersion in nature, and his soul-expanding relationship with his partner Tony.

Steve seamlessly lasers through clients' circumstances to their innate wellbeing and love, instantly creating common ground, unconditional acceptance, and spiritual connection with the people he works with. By showing up open-hearted and in touch with his own innate wisdom, he transcends his clients' experiences, bringing them closer to their own hearts.

We talk with Steve about his unique ability to bring together diverse groups of people through the universal commonality of love. He helps gay men to see their innate worth despite the life-long messages stating otherwise they may have had to endure. And we talk about the power of understanding that we're only ever in relationship with our thinking about our partner, which is why we are able to transform our relationships without changing the person we're in relationship with.

This episode explores:

• open-hearted listening
• rewilding in nature 
• the commonality of love
• tips for maintaining a healthy relationship
• shifting perspective
• spiritual truths about life and human nature

Show Notes
Knepp Wildland: the rewilded farm Steve shares about located in West Sussex, teeming with wildlife and beautiful flora/fauna.
Coypu: an invasive species of rodent that was eradicated from the UK in the late '80s
Consummate Renaissance Man: An endearing way of referring to Steve Adair; recognizing him as having the highest degree of proficiency in all of his many professions.

Steve Adair is passionate about helping people understand the incredible person that they are no matter what life circumstances they've endured, and that they always have access to innate mental health within. As an international speaker, trainer, coach and mentor, he also deliver seminars, group programs and retreats, both in the UK and internationally. His private practice is based in Central Bedfordshire where he sees clients in person or virtually. He thoroughly loves hanging out with family and friends, long countryside walks with his partner Tony and their dog; as well as meeting and celebrating people from all around the world.

Angus & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships. They co-facilitate individualized couples' intensives that rewild relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is the author of the ebook Marriage, and they are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can also follow Angus and Rohini Ross on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about their work visit: therewilders.org.

Episode 27 features the music of RhythmPharm with Los Angeles-based composer Greg Ellis.

Lainie Barrett (they/them) shares with us how this understanding has impacted both their mental health, through expanded consciousness, and their gender journey, by rewilding to their true nature.

Lainie recently came out as trans/non-binary and shares with us about the dissonance they have always felt between how they feel inside and the female gender they were assigned at birth. Historically, they've repressed or ignored this feeling, deciding that they should expand what it means to be a woman, but have recently begun to answer the call of the feeling and dis-identify with their assigned gender. They hold this as an ongoing exploration that could require more "coming outs" as they keep shedding what doesn't feel true for them.

We explore how empowerment comes from the inside, and how this is Lainie stepping into their authentic and true self, opening the door for others to do the same by sharing their story. Lainie clarifies some LGBTQIA terminology, and reminds us that being queer and/or trans can be (and often is) joyful, it's the marginalization from the dominant culture that creates undue pain (including the denial of gender-affirming care).

This episode explores:

• Gender as a construct
• Consciousness-expanding experiences
• The rules we create for ourselves and the boxes we form
• Rewilding as a stripping-away process of what no longer serves us
• Queer joy

Show Notes
The first rule of "Fight Club": you do not talk about Fight Club.
Cisgender: denoting or relating to a person whose sense of personal identity and gender corresponds with their birth sex. "Cis" in Latin means "on the side of" and is used as shorthand for cisgender.
The Lowly Worm: A character in the 1980s children book series by Richard Scarry, also a term of endearment for Lainie's partner.

Lainie Barrett is a freshly minted Rewilding Guide and social media manager for the Rewilders' brand. They have a master's degree in clinical mental health counseling which is put to good use in their coaching work. Lainie has explored the three principles via many different practitioners since 2014 and is now a member of the Rewilding Community. Their approach to everything in life is to show up just as themself, leading the way for others to do the same. They recently came out as trans/non-binary and enjoy talking about their experience to educate and inform others on this important aspect of identity and self-discovery. 

Angus & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships. They co-facilitate individualized couples' intensives that rewild relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is the author of the ebook Marriage, and they are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can also follow Angus and Rohini Ross on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about their work visit: therewilders.org.

Episode 26 features the music of RhythmPharm with Los Angeles-based composer Greg Ellis.

We spoke with Scott Kelly, a wellbeing expert, and good friend, about what it means to rewild our physical health.

Scott talks about the importance of moving beyond our cultural obsession with symptomology, and no longer viewing symptoms as purely inconveniences but rather invitations from the body to see something different. And while it can be helpful to have a label for something, we tend to hold labels as static information about ourselves rather than seeing our condition as constantly evolving and changing.

In our fast-paced society, we rarely slow down enough to expand in consciousness and get a sense of what we really need. We want to rid ourselves of symptoms so we can get on our way, but our symptoms have messages for us that our bodies desperately want us to hear. The body has an innate intelligence and often our symptoms are indications that our body is working on healing.

Angus and Rohini relay their own health-related stories and how seeing deeper into their true nature was what ultimately healed them both. There is a key difference between being cured and being healed, and sometimes feeling better doesn't mean we've healed, while other times our symptoms haven't changed at all and yet we find healing.

Scott's message to all of us weathering this pandemic is that COVID-19 has been an invitation to get back to nature; as nature has been given a chance to rewild with less human activity, people have also been given a chance to rewild and listen more deeply to the mind, body, and soul.

This episode explores:

• The importance of slowing down
• Physical symptoms as an invitation to expand in consciousness
• Trusting in nature
• Trying to heal while caught in a stressed state of mind is impossible

Show notes:
Poos clues: Angus's innovative take on the popular children's TV show, "Blues Clues"
Listen for the "but": We often start the sentence with "but" when we're getting ready to advocate for our limitations

Scott Kelly has spent over 25 years as a health coach, mentor, and integrative health practitioner, reconnecting individuals to their innate health and well-being.  State of mind coaching is the foundation of his integrative health and well-being programs and he works with professional athletes, couples, families, teams, corporations, and individuals. His approach wakes up our innate capacity to live, work, perform, and play from inner vitality. Scott delivers live and virtual workshops and retreats, leaving participants with a new understanding of their health, well-being, and potential. Learn more about Scott's work here.

Angus & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships. They co-facilitate individualized couples' intensives that rewild relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is the author of the ebook Marriage, and they are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can also follow Angus and Rohini Ross on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about their work visit: therewilders.org.

Episode 25 features the music of RhythmPharm with Los Angeles-based composer Greg Ellis.

This episode is an insightful conversation with entrepreneur, coach, and Rewilder Guide Melissa Palazzo Hart about doubting our doubts and ultimately letting go. We also get to hear Melissa’s powerful poem which perfectly encapsulates the feeling of finally accepting ourselves as we are in the here and now.

Melissa shares her experiences with self-doubt and self-esteem issues, despite all the success and happiness in her life. One milestone and success point after another, she continued to look for the perfect pieces for her life to fall all in line.

Melissa’s emotions can be felt as she recounts her journey towards acceptance. She is a charismatic speaker able to pull our heartstrings, make us laugh, and help us see the light amid all the darkness and doubt in our minds.

Rohini and Melissa dive deep into the importance of acceptance. Melissa shares how accepting ourselves as we are can give us more freedom to truly grow into full potential — to have the courage to explore and experiment. 

As Rohini pointed out, knowing who we are allows us to come to a place of authentic empowerment. It becomes the foundation from which possibilities arise. 

By recognizing our insecure thinking and doubting our doubts, we start to hear the voice inside ourselves that says everything is perfect as it is now. When we pay less attention to our negative thoughts and accept that we are good enough, we start to open ourselves up to possibilities in all areas of life.

Show Notes

• Tetris - a puzzle game popularized in the 80s where players have to fit tiles together perfectly to advance to the next level
• “Chasing enoughness”: how Melissa describes living a good life yet still believing that something needs fixing and it isn’t enough
• ebook Marriage by Rohini Ross

Melissa Palazzo-Hart is a mom, leader, and coach, who is part of the 1% of women that have ever managed to smash through the C-Suite glass ceiling of corporate America. As a pioneer of women in the boardroom, she’s taken the arrows so that her peers – and the next generation – will have more success and less stress. She has over 20 years of experience building powerful brands, scaling businesses, and increasing revenue. 

Melissa’s passion is to unleash the infinite potential within all people: helping individuals and teams see and live beyond perceived limits. She regularly speaks about State of Mind and its impact on performance in businesses worldwide.

Angus Ross & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships. They co-facilitate a private couples' intensives retreat program that rewilds relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is the author of the ebook Marriage, and they are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can also follow Angus and Rohini Ross on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about their work visit: therewilders.org. Read Rohini's latest blog.

Episode 51 features the music of RhythmPharm with Los Angeles-based composer Greg Ellis.

World-renowned musician, Greg Ellis discusses the symbiosis between organic music and rewilding. Rewilding anything means we're allowing its natural process to take over. And this is what Greg has done with his music, creating pure instrumental tonics in a sea of synthetic, mechanized sounds.

In the music studio, musicians are bound to a click track (digital metronome), which actively measures the time/tempo of the track. This device stifles the drummer's natural rhythmic sensibilities and requires they focus on synthetic time vs. playing in harmony with the other instruments. Greg works off the click track, developing musical tonics he dubbed Rhythmpharm to symbolize the healing power of organic sound. Music, when played with pure honesty, can impact the listener instantly on the cellular level.

Unlike in the studio, and on our phones and tablets, nature doesn't adhere to a standardized, mechanical time. Humans have developed a toxic relationship with time and our creativity and sense of peace are diminished as a result. But when we tune ourselves to the frequency of our true nature, we can flourish naturally. This is why being fully present is so powerful, our true nature knows no time.

This episode also explores:

• Evolving from self-help to self-discovery; we don't need help, we need to know who we are
• Adversity shows us our capacity for resilience
• Every disaster brings out the best in people
• The optimism of humanity
• Adhering to a complementary frequency of understanding with our partners
• Acknowledging the darkness we inhabit so we can be in balance with it

Show Notes
Smorgasbord: Rohini was right, it is spelled with a "d" and it is Swedish, not German.
Click track: digital metronome and metaphor for the clock controlling us all
Farm-to-table music: music before it became overly processed
Odd time signature: an odd amount of beats per measure, can be simplified into a righteous groove.
Trance: a tempo between 135–150 bpm that can lead to a state of hypnotism and heightened consciousness

Greg Ellis is one of the more innovative and versatile drummers in the world. Able to cross multiple genres of music from Indian classical to rock and roll, he has performed and recorded with musical artists from over 30 countries including Zakir Hussain, Mickey Hart, Kodo, Billy Idol, and Juno Reactor.  As a passionate advocate of the healing and therapeutic properties of rhythm and drumming, he founded a project called RhythmPharm as a way to encourage the importance of organic rhythm and frequency through recordings and live sessions. Learn more about Greg and his incredible work here.

Angus & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships. They co-facilitate individualized couples' intensives that rewild relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is the author of the ebook Marriage, and they are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can also follow Angus and Rohini Ross on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about their work visit: therewilders.org.

Episode 24 features the music of RhythmPharm with Los Angeles-based composer Greg Ellis.

We were deeply touched by our conversation with Derrick Mason. Derrick shares with us his journey from learning the understanding shared by Sydney Banks while in prison, to his role as Director of Beyond Recovery today. 

Derrick's initial insight involved seeing the psychological innocence of his mother, and the impact of believing the misunderstanding that everything in his life was her fault. During the Beyond Recovery program, he attended in prison, at first just like so many of us he was taking in the understanding from a purely intellectual place. But eventually, after several weeks of still showing up, the understanding moved from his head to his heart. He now always follows that feeling as a guidepost. 

Derrick teaches us about the power of showing up as ourselves, and how that's all we ever need. He can notice his insecure thinking and then remember that the opportunities he's been offered have come as a result of being himself and removing the mask he once thought was necessary to be successful.

Derrick's story is such a powerful testament to the fact that our experience of life is always being created from the inside out. He shares that while he was in the worst physical place imaginable, prison, he was feeling better than he ever has before. And if he can feel that way in prison, and trapped while on the beach with money in his pocket, then he could trust in the truth of this paradigm-shifting understanding.  

This episode explores:

• The feeling comes from within
• Lean into uncomfortability knowing comfortability is your true nature
• Forgiving yourself leads to seeing others' psychological innocence
• Always show up as you -- it's healing for everyone around you
• Vulnerability is our strength
• Freedom is available to us anywhere

This narrative is not intended to detract from the need for comprehensive reform to the justice system in the United States and beyond.

Show Notes
Buffering skills: Angus may need to insert some buffers between his appointments in his calendar.
The tango of death: the anger game - it takes two to get into entanglement
XL comfort blanket: the feeling of being embraced by our true nature

Derrick Mason learned about this understanding while in prison in 2017. He was impacted by the truth and simplicity in Sydney Bank’s books, as well as the love and trust of Jacqueline Hollows and the Beyond Recovery team. Derrick was then able to see the true potential within himself, which had only ever been limited by his own thinking. Derrick is a director for Beyond Recovery and serves on the Board of the Three Principles Global Community. Learn more here: https://beyond-recovery.co.uk/.

Angus & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships. They co-facilitate individualized couples' intensives that rewild relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is the author of the ebook Marriage, and they are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can also follow Angus and Rohini Ross on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about their work visit: therewilders.org.

Episode 23 features the music of RhythmPharm with Los Angeles-based composer Greg Ellis.

Michael Neill takes us on an epic, eye-opening journey through his awakening to this understanding to his heart-warming relationship with his wife. Learning, rather ironically, that subjectivity is the only objective fact of life, was a paradigm shift that changed his life forever.

Michael reminds us of the beauty of keeping it simple -- letting your original feeling of love and attraction to your partner be the basis for your relationship. And allowing the ultimate purpose of your relationship to be to enjoy each other's company. Our conditioning tells us to remain hyperfocused on what could go wrong, and in the process, we end up creating the trouble we feared in the first place. No wonder we might find ourselves saying, "I knew it!" But If we let enjoyment be our north star, we get to create a wonderful life together. 

Michael relates the underlying feeling of a relationship to a movie's soundtrack. The soundtrack establishes the feeling we have in a movie -- for example, the horror film "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes" is actually kind of scary, even though the villains are tomatoes, because of the suspenseful soundtrack the movie is set to. The same can be said about our lives. We want to notice the soundtrack of our day-to-day lives because it determines the feeling.

There was not a dry eye in the "house" when Michael answered the questions we ask all our guests in partnership, look out for answers like "tea time" and "I love you more".

This episode explores:

• Not having to agree on everything
• The importance of shared goodwill and commitment
• The myth of never going to bed upset with your partner 
• There are some things worth reconciling and some things that aren't, and that's ok! 

Show Notes
A goodwill plugin: The product on offer from the Rewilders
The cat who got the cream: Michael's smile on his wedding day
Attack of the Killer Tomatoes: an example of a film that got the soundtrack right
PG Tips Tea: a brand of tea manufactured in the UK, and loved by Michael and his wife (Angus prefers matcha green tea, despite being British himself)
Bog Standard: British way of saying "basic"
Falling Slowly: A song from the film "Once"

Michael Neill is an internationally renowned author, speaker, and thought leader, challenging the cultural mythology that stress and struggle are a prerequisite to creativity and success. His bestselling books, podcasts, keynotes, trainings, and retreats have inspired and impacted millions of people on six continents around the world. Learn more at: https://www.michaelneill.org/

Angus & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships. They co-facilitate individualized couples' intensives that rewild relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is the author of the ebook Marriage, and they are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can also follow Angus and Rohini Ross on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about their work visit: therewilders.org.

Episode 22 features the music of RhythmPharm with Los Angeles-based composer Greg Ellis.

Christine Heath and Judy Sedgeman discuss why they believe psychology has it backward. Psychology looks at things through a "causal lens" whereas Christine and Judy help their clients understand the role of thought in creating their experience. Psychological analysis can be intellectually stimulating, but it doesn't necessarily result in sustainable transformation. 

Judy and Christine reflect on their fresh look at the fundamental causes of stress and distress, instead of the traditional model of analysis and desensitization. They share how this not only creates a more graceful experience for their clients, but also for themselves. Providing therapy and consultation from the vantage point of knowing your client is innately healthy, rather than focusing on mental illness, is a total paradigm shift.

This episode explores:

• Traditional psychology vs. Spiritual Psychology
• How to avoid burnout as a mental health provider
• Being descriptive vs. prescriptive
• Making space for insight instead of analysis
• Psychological freedom that emerges without suffering

Show Notes
Bats in the belfry: a British way of saying "batshit cray"
Educare: the etymology of the word educate, meaning to "draw out"
Guys, gals, actors, actresses: Rohini and Angus begin the episode in a bit of a tiff over whether "guys" can be considered gender-neutral. Rohini believes guys is not a gender-neutral term, even if women use it.  And women actors requesting to be called actors instead of actresses is a separate argument -- one that deals with equality in a profession's terminology. The argument for all genders to be referred to as "actor", is in favor of not being reductive of the profession, and categorizing one actor as being different (or less than) from another.  The way we refer to teachers regardless of their gender as "teachers."

Christine Heath is a licensed marriage and family therapist in both Hawaii and Minnesota, as well as a Master Addictions Counselor and a Certified Substance Abuse Counselor.  She is also the co-author of the book “The Secret of Love: Unlock the Mystery, Unleash the Magic”. In 1985, she co-founded the Hawaii Counseling and Education Center, an outpatient mental health and addictions program, and is the Executive Director.

Judith Sedgeman has been a mental health educator for over 30 years. She was named a Three Principles Practitioner by Sydney Banks. She works with a vast variety of client populations. She was on the faculty of the Medical School of West Virginia University, Morgantown, WV, for 13 years, and is the author of the forthcoming book It All Started with a Bird, to be published in Spring 2021.

Angus & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships. They co-facilitate individualized couples' intensives that rewild relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is the author of the ebook Marriage, and they are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can also follow Angus and Rohini Ross on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about their work visit: therewilders.org.

Episode 21 features the music of RhythmPharm with Los Angeles-based composer Greg Ellis.

Rohini and Angus interview their mentors, George & Linda Pransky. The Pranksys share about how their relationship has evolved over time, and most notably how it changed after they met Syd Banks, the man who first conceptualized the understanding we speak about on this podcast.

Linda describes their first year together as volatile and painful. After talking with Syd, they started getting over conflicts in their relationship quicker -- neither of them were taking things as personally anymore. Seeing that they were moving in the right direction together, they could ease up on trying to work to make the relationship better. Taking away this pressure allowed Linda and George to access a light-heartedness, and their fondness for each other increased tenfold.

George warmly refers to his fondness for Linda now as "omnipresent fondness" that spans "wall to wall". By this he means there is no gap in his fondness for her, and so there's no longer anything to even not take personally. There's no issue! They are so united that they can both rest and trust in the fact that the other would never purposefully hurt the other. This makes asking for an apology, when necessary, easy. 

We let the simplicity and warmth of George and Linda's wisdom and love wash over us. We hope you enjoy "hanging out in their living room" as much as we did.

This episode explores:

• The arbitrariness of thought
• It's ok to disagree
• Relationships as a united front transcends the individuals
• The hum of fondness 
• The before and after of the Pranksys learning this understanding

Show notes:
Hair on it: having something on it, in the business world. It's better to not have a hair on it.
Mew: To Rohini's surprise, mew is indeed an alternative form of meow. Mew as a noun, is a gull or a place for hiding, as a verb it can refer to the cry of a cat. Meow refers solely to the cry of a cat.

Linda Pransky specialized in psycho-social nursing, but grew disillusioned by techniques and approaches that didn't seem to create lasting change for people. After her and George met Sydney Banks in 1976, she saw a way to help people create sustainable change. 

Dr. George Pransky has taught the principles for over 30 years to individuals, couples, businesses and colleagues -- he is one of the two professional founders of The Principles of Mind, Thought and Consciousness and the author of The Relationship Handbook.

Both George and Linda serve on the executive committee of the Three Principles Global Community, and continue to pioneer this understanding with new industries and populations. They are both both Partners at Pransky & Associates. Learn more about their work.

Angus & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships. They co-facilitate individualized couples' intensives that rewild relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is the author of the ebook Marriage, and they are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can also follow Angus and Rohini Ross on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about their work visit: therewilders.org.

Episode 20 features the music of RhythmPharm with Los Angeles-based composer Greg Ellis.

We had the pleasure of sitting down with our dear friend and coach Erika Bugbee. Erika's wisdom is evident in every word she expresses. We cover topics like parenting teens (or children of any age), marriage, and relationships of all forms (even the ones with your in-laws). 

Erika skillfully uncovers two fundamental keys to having success in any relationship. Showing restraint when we'd rather tear into our partner for their annoying habits, behaviors, etc... goes a long way. We often show restraint in relationships with those who are not our nearest and dearest, but with those, we're closest to we often have the least patience and tolerance. It's an act of love and grace to show restraint in the face of irritations and conflict. For the second fundamental key, we invite you to tune into the episode!  

She relates this guidance to Eric Clapton's song "Before You Accuse Me." In the midst of blame and judgment, it's so easy to keep looking outside of ourselves for the source of our frustration. But let's keep in mind how messy or difficult we can be, and use that awareness to help us soften with our loved ones. Maybe they are the tolerant ones having to put up with us all the time! It can be helpful to flip your focus like this when you get caught up.

We also talk about how the urgency for wanting to get it right in parenting can muddy our ability to give our children what they need in the moment, which very well might be space. If we can be comfortable with the unknown, around how we are going to handle a situation, we can walk away and come back to it with more clarity. Accepting uncertainty is the first step to seeing something new.

This episode explores:

• The toxic taste of judgment
• As soon as you soften, they soften -- it's a chemical reaction
• Showing restraint and overlooking as acts of love
• The things that drive us crazy are often our partner's or kid's upside 
• Acceptance of the unknown
• The generosity of giving someone space

Show Notes
"Before You Accuse Me": An Eric Clapton song featured on his MTV Unplugged album. Incredible album to listen to from start to finish! Also a helpful mantra to remember for relationships.

Erika Bugbee is a global coach with 20 years of experience working with teens, young adults, and couples who are open and motivated. She helps clients relate to their minds differently so they're less affected by limitations, fears, and distress, which optimizes their enjoyment, peace of mind, and potential in life. Get pointed in a new direction by working with Erika. Learn more at her website: https://www.erikabugbee.com/.

Angus & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships. They co-facilitate individualized couples' intensives that rewild relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is the author of the ebook Marriage, and they are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can also follow Angus and Rohini Ross on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about their work visit: therewilders.org.

Episode 19 features the music of RhythmPharm with Los Angeles-based composer Greg Ellis.

Rob Cook takes us on an epic journey through his life, from being born and raised in the housing projects of Birmingham, Alabama, to 21 years of active duty service in the military, to moving to L.A. and becoming a transformational life coach. 

He humbly shares about transitioning from living like he thought he should, to living as a man can -- as a person in touch with their essential nature. Rob takes pages from his past professions to help inform the myriad of offerings he brings to the table today. While many have told him he needs to focus his professional energy in one arena, he has thrived by not limiting himself to one offering and seeing how several teachings and avenues can connect with each other. For example, why focus solely on mindset coaching when he can do that as well in fitness training? He sees how the two are perfectly married. And when helping companies grow their business, he draws upon lessons learned in the military, such as team dynamics, collaboration, and leadership. 

Rob is a force to be reckoned with! And the love he shares with his partner Laurie is inspiring. The way he talks about their relationship, and what he has learned from her, brings laughter and tears. 

Don't miss Rob's epic keys to success, which include "moving often" and "laughing a lot." We are much the wiser after getting to speak with Rob Cook!

This episode explores:

• Breaking rules that don't line up with our essential nature
• Who am I?
• Laughter happens in the moment 
• Not having to act like a man -- I am a man.
• The understanding that changed "every aspect" of Rob's life
• Military as a microcosm of society -- we're all people first.
• Letting go of the ego's grip.
• Accepting others for who they are
• Try to get each moment right, not all of it right.
• Partners that change our lives.

Rob Cook is a Mindset Coach and creator of the unFIT brand. He works with clients to unlock the benefits of total health so they may thrive in any area of their life.  He also is the host of the 3PGC’s podcast titled “We’re Listening” -- a community where all voices are heard. 
He became a certified life coach through Supercoach Academy, discovering an ideal balance between the mental and physical realms in his work as a coach. As the founder of unFIT, he offers a fresh approach to Unlocking Your Health From the Inside/Out through coaching, training, workshops, and speaking events for start-ups, non-profit organizations, Fortune 500 companies, and everything in between.

Angus & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships. They co-facilitate individualized couples' intensives that rewild relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is the author of the ebook Marriage, and they are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can also follow Angus and Rohini Ross on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about their work visit: therewilders.org.

Episode 18 features the music of RhythmPharm with Los Angeles-based composer Greg Ellis.

We had a great time interviewing our friend and colleague Dr. Amy Johnson about the nature of thought and how it impacts our relationships. As Amy points out, we're all in relationship with our thinking about other people and our thinking about ourselves. We can't be in direct relationship with anyone without experiencing them through thought.

Amy shares how seeing the role of thought in her life, helped her relax around some of the "problems" she imagined would eventually derail her relationship. Once she saw how she was making it up, she was able to be present and enjoy her husband just as he is.

One of the reasons it's so powerful talking to Amy is her ability to seamlessly draw from her knowledge about biology and neuroscience. It's our biology to have preferences, and for the mind to work the way it does -- calculating and assessing -- but realizing there is an invisible force at play that is far more powerful than our brain, helps us to shift our identification from our intellect to the intelligent, formless energy behind life.

We conclude the interview with a set of personal questions about Amy's own relationship, and we were really touched by her responses.
 
Amy's work centers around helping people who struggle with habits and anxiety as she struggled with this herself for many years. We cannot recommend Amy's work enough, and we outline some of her offerings below in the show notes.

This episode explores:

• We are a spiritual being having human experiences
• Our brains find evidence for whatever we expect
• This understanding is not about transcending the human experience
• The content of conditioning varies, but the same understanding can create a shift for anyone
• We have a greater perspective when the situation isn't about us -- sticky thinking is sticky because we've personalized it.

 Amy Johnson, Ph.D. is a psychologist, coach, author, and speaker who shares a groundbreaking new approach that helps people find true, lasting freedom from unwanted habits via insight rather than willpower. She is the author of Being Human (2013), and The Little Book of Big Change: The No-Willpower Approach to Breaking Any Habit (2016). In 2017 she opened The Little School of Big Change, an online school that has helped hundreds of people find freedom from anxiety and habits and live a more peaceful life. Enrollment for the Spring is still open! School starts March 1, and enrollment is open until March 4, 2021.

Johnson has been a regularly featured expert on The Steve Harvey Show and Oprah.com, as well as in The Wall Street Journal and Self magazine. Learn more at www.DrAmyJohnson.com

Angus & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships. They co-facilitate individualized couples' intensives that rewild relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is the author of the ebook Marriage, and they are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can also follow Angus and Rohini Ross on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about their work visit: therewilders.org.

Episode features the music of RhythmPharm with Los Angeles-based composer Greg Ellis.

Feedback: info@therewilders.org

Rohini and Angus close out their journey with Alicia and Mateo by answering listener questions in this hilarious and informative episode. They draw upon personal experiences and client stories to answer the in depth questions they received.

Among other things, the Rewilders clarify for listeners the difference between accepting bad behavior and not taking it personally. They never advocate for people to stay in an abusive or unhealthy situation, instead they stress the importance of knowing that the behavior is not personal. And that sometimes just learning this, paired with understanding that our peace and wellbeing are found within, changes behaviors and circumstances on their own.

In an effort to make the recording process more fun and interactive for Angus, Rohini introduces a game that leads to lots of laughter. It sounds like Angus remained sufficiently entertained as a result.

Stay tuned to Rewilding Love to hear from special guest speakers in future episodes. Thank you for joining us on this journey!

This episode explores:

• Being neutral does not equal being a "doormat"
• How to deeply listen
• The power of presence when our partner is spinning out of control and how we can still honor our own bandwidth
• The importance of remembering we live in separate realities
• Being in a place of peace leads to a healthier perspective

Show Notes

Sydney Banks: An ordinary man who experienced a spontaneous and profound spiritual awakening in 1973. To learn more about him visit https://threeprinciplesfoundation.org/ and http://sydbanks.com/.

Gaslighting: The term "gaslighting" can be traced back to a 1938 play. British playwright Patrick Hamilton created "Gas Light," a mystery/thriller that premiered in London and played there for six months. But most folks familiar with the history of the term think back to the 1944 film adaptation of the play, "Gaslight."

The movie stars Charles Boyer and Ingrid Bergman. They play a married couple, Paula and Gregory. Throughout the film, abusive husband Gregory manipulates Paula to make her feel as if she has gone mad. He leads her to believe she's stealing things without realizing it and hearing noises that aren’t really there. Paula begins to question her reality. (from  The World Public Radio)

Podcast music
Rewilding Love features the music of RhythmPharm with Los Angeles-based Master drummer, multi-instrumentalist, and composer Greg Ellis, born and raised in the Bay Area. Episode 16 includes selections from: Violet/Balance; Blue/Calm; Orange/Nourishment; Yellow/Clarity.

Feedback: info@therewilders.org

Angus & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships. They co-facilitate individualized couples' intensives that rewild relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is the author of the ebook Marriage, and they are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can also follow Angus and Rohini Ross on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about their work visit: therewilders.org.

Angus and Rohini create a safe space for Mateo and Alicia to meet for a much-needed conversation about Mateo's past trauma and how it's impacted his life and their relationship. Mateo fears Alicia will be enraged at him when he shares about his recent sexual experiences outside of their relationship but is shocked to find she has a different response. Alicia has renewed her relationship with her spirituality, and she credits this for her ability to move forward, forgive, and stay in the present. 

Rohini relays a story about the power of not listening to her conceptual mind in regards to a conflict with her daughter. When she was caught up in her reactivity, the problems she and her daughter were facing seemed nearly impossible to tackle. But after her mind settled, which allowed her true nature to emerge organically, she had a refreshed outlook on how she could approach her daughter and they were able to see eye to eye as a result.

Meanwhile, Mateo and Alicia seem to be off to the races as far as regaining their connection and granting forgiveness is concerned. The group reflects on how much new "bandwidth" is freed up after secrets are revealed and shame is annihilated. But in true Mateo fashion, he has one more jaw-dropper to share with the group before the close of their session. That leaves Rohini feeling skeptical.

Rohini and Angus share news from their follow up with the couple. Will Angus get his "Hollywood ending"?

This episode explores: 

• The burden of a secret is toxic.
• Releasing shame allows us to be open-hearted again.
• Learning is what's most important -- even though it can be painful.
• When a relationship is in crisis, the opportunity for healing and growth is part of that "crisis-packaging".
• Forgiveness

Show Notes

The truth will set you free: Biblical adage from the "people's favorite gospel". And, when we let go of judgment we can see that our innate essence is always pure.
Netflix metaphor: Angus's famous metaphor about a low mood's desire to find a matching "frame" -- like when rewinding a show on Netflix.
Bundy Drive: the physical street Mateo and Alicia turned onto to get to their session with Angus and Rohini -- also refers to Mateo's foreboding feeling about Alicia's possible response to his revelations.

Podcast music
Rewilding Love features the music of RhythmPharm with Los Angeles based Master drummer, multi-instrumentalist, and composer Greg Ellis, born and raised in the Bay Area. Episode 15 includes selections from: Violet/Balance; Blue/Calm; Orange/Nourishment; Yellow/Clarity.

Feedback: info@therewilders.org

Angus & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships. They co-facilitate individualized couples' intensives that rewild relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is the author of the ebook Marriage, and they are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can also follow Angus and Rohini Ross on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about their work visit: therewilders.org.

Every relationship includes two people often with different neurological orientations living in their separate realities. In this episode, Rohini and Angus share how they navigate neurodiversity in their relationship. Their brains work very differently, and they have different strengths and weaknesses. You will get to hear some of their hilarious escapades.

Here are some teasers, Rohini lacks coordination when it comes to physical activities, while Angus is a gifted athlete and loves sports. Rohini loves to talk, while Angus needs time to organize his thoughts and says much less. During their conversations, Angus sometimes has to connect the dots due to Rohini leaving out crucial details because she’s already hit the ground running, and Angus can’t always read her mind.

Their neurodiversity is even apparent in how they start their days. Rohini usually wakes up first and is running on all cylinders. Angus needs time to warm up and ease into the day. When it comes to finances and business development, Rohini is the visionary, and Angus excels in creativity and artistic talents. They are both, however, very intuitive, and empathic. There they share common ground.

The key for relationships is to understand and respect the separate realities and neurodiversity of our partners.  Relationships are not about fixing your partner or changing them. They are for opening our hearts and celebrating differences and diversity. 

We, humans, are always looking to experience greater balance and harmony. With an open heart and open mind, love and understanding are natural by-products that support couples in finding common ground and experiencing more balance and harmony in their relationships.

Neurodiversity does not have to be a challenge for couples when it is understood. Embracing neurodiversity allows couples to see how to complement each other and it brings newness and fresh perspectives to relationships.

One thing Rohini and Angus can wholeheartedly say is because of their differences, they are never bored in their relationship.

This episode explores:

• Navigating neurodiversity in relationships 
• Understanding and finding humor in each other’s strengths and weaknesses
• Finding balance and harmony for a happier and healthier relationship

Angus Ross & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships. They co-facilitate a private couples' intensives retreat program that rewilds relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is the author of the ebook Marriage, and they are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can also follow Angus and Rohini Ross on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about their work visit: therewilders.org. Read Rohini's latest blog.

Episode 50 features the music of RhythmPharm with Los Angeles-based composer Greg Ellis.

**Warning: This episode contains strong graphic language, discussions of sexual situations and it addresses sexual abuse. If you are sensitive to this subject matter, please skip this episode.**

The Rewilders are picking up the pieces after leaving listeners with a total cliffhanger in last week's episode when they had just found out from Alicia that Mateo did want to renew their rental lease. Rohini and Angus continued working with Alicia on her own. After a couple of months pass, Mateo finally reaches out to Angus to talk.

Mateo reveals to Angus painful truths about his past, for which his feelings of shame have kept him from being fully open with Alicia or anyone. Angus normalizes Mateo's emotional experience while expressing empathy and universality. Mateo begins to feel a great sense of relief. Talking about his past and how it still impacts him today proves to be a tremendous weight-off his mind.

After a couple of months apart from Alicia, Mateo feels resolute in wanting to be in a partnership, where he can be whole and honest. He wants to share everything with Alicia, but he expresses concern about what her response might look like. Angus reminds Mateo about his true nature and where his experience of life is really coming from. They discuss the spiritual truths that Mateo embodies regardless of his past, present, or future. And he checks with Mateo on whether he truly wants to be with Alicia.

Want to know how Alicia responds to Mateo after two months apart and intimate revelations are shared? Tune in next week.

This episode explores:

• When we obtain a stronger inner foundation, things we haven't addressed in the past reveal themselves. 
• The conceptual mind is an illusionist.
• Sexuality as a spectrum.
• The prevalence of sexual abuse, and yet the stigma.
• When we bring things out into the open, we annihilate shame.
• Secrets can kill us inside.
• It takes work to keep a secret and it makes us unavailable to partnership.
• Using grit and willpower to avoid facing pain can only last so long.

Show Notes
Resources for victims of sexual abuse: RAINN; NSVRC
Brené Brown Ted Talk: Listening to Shame
Glorious game of life: the spiritual truth that we're all "cut from the same cloth."

Podcast music
Rewilding Love features the music of RhythmPharm with Los Angeles based Master drummer, multi-instrumentalist, and composer Greg Ellis, born and raised in the Bay Area. Episode 14 includes selections from: Violet/Balance; Blue/Calm; Orange/Nourishment; Yellow/Clarity.

Angus & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships. They co-facilitate individualized couples' intensives that rewild relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is the author of the ebook Marriage, and they are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can also follow Angus and Rohini Ross on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about their work visit: therewilders.org. 

The Rewilders meet separately with Alicia and Mateo for follow up sessions after they've returned home from the intensive. At first, things sound resoundingly positive on both ends. Mateo has found massive success getting through to his team at work by incorporating what he learned about state of mind and presence. And Alicia is successful with not being reactive especially before holding important conversations with Mateo.

One might assume Mateo has been benefitting from Alicia's calmer state at home, but he reveals to Angus that in actuality he's experiencing fairly severe and chronic anxiety, especially at home. He may appear "cool as a cucumber on the outside" but he's "hotter than a tamale on the inside." This has major implications for their relationship.

Angus shares one of his sure-fire barometers for his own level of anxiety; the degree to which he can handle Rohini's finger chewing (in other words, Rohini's anxiety). In the past, Angus wasn't able to bear Rohini's anxiety at all because he couldn't bear his own. But since taking his thinking less seriously and cultivating more presence in their relationship, he's typically able to handle Rohini's finger-chewing quite well, except for the times he isn't, which he now knows to be a reflection of his own state of mind rather than something lacking in Rohini.

This episode explores:

• Our innate resilience when in touch with our true nature
• New, experiential reference points created during intensives
• The power of being genuinely present with another human being
• The impact of anxiety on relationships

Show Notes
Befuddlement: Angus's perplexed feeling wondering how to ask people to stay tuned.
A turn-up, not turnip: A surprise
Projection 101: The first course on the act of projecting / the cause of Angus's judgment of Rohini's finger-chewing
Listen to this space: Another way of saying, tune in next week for Episode 14, when more on Alicia and Mateo's relationship developments will be revealed.

Podcast music
Rewilding Love features the music of RhythmPharm with Los Angeles based Master drummer, multi-instrumentalist, and composer Greg Ellis, born and raised in the Bay Area. Episode 13 includes selections from: Violet/Balance; Blue/Calm; Orange/Nourishment; Yellow/Clarity.

Feedback: info@therewilders.org
To leave questions and comments for Ask Anything Episodes Call: (424) 272-6497

Angus & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships. They co-facilitate individualized couples' intensives that rewild relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is the author of the ebook Marriage, and they are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can also follow Angus and Rohini Ross on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about their work visit: therewilders.org. 

The Rewilders meet with Alicia and Mateo to discuss more key relationship takeaways all together again. Mateo comes in with thinking inspired by his risk analysis background, as he starts to reach out for the how-to guide once more. The Rewilders help him recall that his wisdom will help guide him in the moment. Alicia sounds ready to go home and practice this new understanding in their relationship -- she feels confident that they can approach conflict differently now. Mateo gets there as well by the end of the conversation.

Angus relays a touching story about when he and Rohini first came to this understanding, through their own intensive from the client seat. At first their home was more peaceful than ever until the sh*t hit the fan again. But this time it was different. As Angus prepared to go give Rohini a piece of his mind, he was struck with the feeling of his own true nature reconnecting him to his conscience. He saw very clearly that he wanted to embody his true self rather than the "nutcase" who was about to yell at his wife.

Mateo and Alicia can really relate, and they see how this understanding would be so useful for everyone to know, regardless of relationship status. Alicia and Mateo graciously reinforce their happiness that their sessions will be shared with the world, in hopes that if even one person has a change of heart from listening, that that will be worth it all.

This explores explores:

• Connecting with our conscience
• How with this understanding, the love becomes the norm and the B.S. becomes the exception
• They will still come up against challenges and resistance, but that's how we grow in consciousness
• When we’re able to not take behavior personally, we’re more able to make a clear choice about staying or leaving because our sense of self is not wrapped up in the decision.
• The difference between shutting down and compassionately waiting for a clearer mind
• Star Wars characters

Show notes
Flabbergasted: Angus's feeling at the end of the session; "greatly surprised or astonished"
Nip it in the bud: an expression that is often mistaken as "nip it in the butt" though, disappointingly, it is in fact the “bud”.
Psychological snake oil: Angus initially feared he'd been fooled by this when learning about state of mind and wellbeing.
Take the needle off the record: wake up to your true nature; also a totally hipster move.

Podcast music
Rewilding Love features the music of RhythmPharm with Los Angeles based Master drummer, multi-instrumentalist, and composer Greg Ellis, born and raised in the Bay Area. Episode 12 includes selections from: Violet/Balance; Blue/Calm; Orange/Nourishment; Yellow/Clarity.

Feedback: info@therewilders.org
To leave questions and comments for Ask Anything Episodes Call: (424) 272-6497

Angus & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships. They co-facilitate individualized couples' intensives that rewild relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is the author of the ebook Marriage, and they are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can also follow Angus and Rohini Ross on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about their work visit: therewilders.org.

Alicia, Mateo, Rohini, and Angus come back together for part one of their group session following the breakaway phase of the weekend intensive. We hear what can be described as a celebration and confirmation of the insights Mateo and Alicia have uncovered during their time with the Rewilders. They both reflect on past upset from a new perspective, while discussing a recent dinner out that would have "gone south" before their journey with Rohini and Angus began. Mateo was able to keep his cool, realizing he was actually just upset that he had to wait to eat, instead of assuming Alicia was doing something to make him feel irritated.

Alicia shared about her upset over Valentine's Day and her realization that it wasn't actually about the holiday at all. Instead it was about a shared responsibility communication breakdown that she feels confident they can sort out better next time one comes up. Rohini reflects on Alicia's significant anxiety reduction compared with when she first arrived.

Though they both share about their insights, we hear Alicia seeming a bit more confident in their steadfastness, while Mateo tees up questions and concerns we'll hear in the next episode. Will Mateo's insights last?

This episode explores:

• Releasing the internal narrative when showing up to relationship -- the value of presence
• Importance of realizing we have a narrative going on -- not a clear picture of reality
• Approaching the day with a blank slate
• Navigating low moods vs. thinking we shouldn’t have them anymore
• Reinforcing when to engage with each other and when not to

Show Notes
Wobbler: Angus begins the episode in a low mood, wearing his wobbler on his sleeve.
Flash in the pan: Angus's concern that Mateo may not stay with his insights. Were they just a "flash in the pan"?
Disney ending: A fairy tale ending rarely experienced in "real life". 
Pop Rocks: Candy that explodes in your mouth; also the taste of discontent being replaced by wellbeing.

Podcast music
Rewilding Love features the music of RhythmPharm with Los Angeles based Master drummer, multi-instrumentalist, and composer Greg Ellis, born and raised in the Bay Area. Episode 11 includes selections from: Violet/Balance; Blue/Calm; Orange/Nourishment; Yellow/Clarity.

Feedback: info@therewilders.org
To leave questions and comments for Ask Anything Episodes Call: (424) 272-6497

Angus & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships. They co-facilitate individualized couples' intensives that rewild relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is the author of the ebook Marriage, and they are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can also follow Angus and Rohini Ross on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about their work visit: therewilders.org.

Alicia is on fire, using metaphors left and right to describe the nearly continuous flow of insights she's experiencing. With Rohini relating this understanding to Alicia's pre-established worldview (Christianity), Alicia can see clearly the power of letting God -- or the intelligence behind life -- take over in times of distress (and any time really) instead of relying on the intellect and her previous tendency to overthink.

One can feel Alicia buzzing with inspiration, relief, and a feeling of open-heartedness. It's such a relief to learn we don't have to control everything because in reality we can't control anything! She can see how her deepened understanding will help her in her relationship with Mateo, but also her relationships with others and perhaps most importantly, her relationship with herself.

This magical Rohini-Alicia session has Angus feeling a bit competitive, but mainly he's glad to hear about Alicia's big shift. When he suggests Rohini do a victory dance, she gently reminds him that couple's intensives are not a competition.

This episode explores:

• Resignation vs. acceptance
• Communicating from empathy rather than righteousness
• Understanding has a vast ripple effect
• Listening to our common sense is very practical, and yet it provides a powerful and comprehensive compass for navigating life
• Wisdom is infinite
• We can't undo a jump in consciousness - we will slip, but we can't un-see new insight
• Pressure and performance don't make very good bedfellows
• Increased resilience when in a place of presence
• Letting go of control is not a passive activity -- it's an active listening to inner promptings and letting them be the guide.

Show notes
The Uncomfortable seat: we learn that for episode 10's recording, Rohini has taken one for the team and sat in the uncomfortable seat -- not metaphorically, but physically and literally.
Jesus Take the Wheel: The prompting for one of Alicia's insights, and also a lyric from Carrie Underwood's country-western hit as Angus points out.
Click moment: Alicia's preferred term for insight.

Podcast music
Rewilding Love features the music of RhythmPharm with Los Angeles based Master drummer, multi-instrumentalist, and composer Greg Ellis, born and raised in the Bay Area. Episode 10 includes selections from: Violet/Balance; Blue/Calm; Orange/Nourishment; Yellow/Clarity.

Feedback: info@therewilders.org
To leave questions and comments for Ask Anything Episodes Call: (424) 272-6497

Angus & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships. They co-facilitate individualized couples' intensives that rewild relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is the author of the ebook Marriage, and they are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can also follow Angus and Rohini Ross on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about their work visit: therewilders.org.

Mateo's mind has settled down dramatically. But now that he's in this good feeling, he wants the manual on how to keep it. The problem is, it's his escape from the intellect, from the "how-to", that's helping him live in this better feeling, and pulling the intellect back in to try and figure out how to package and repurpose the feeling, will take him further away from it. There isn't a magic how-to, rather there is a deepening in our seeing of who we are and where our experience comes from and the experiential learning that goes along with it.

By the end of the session, Mateo starts to see this for himself. In his words, "wow, maybe the understanding is  the reset." Mateo has an insight about the way he judges Alicia, and about all of the internal complaining he's been up to. From this perspective, he can see how trivial his headspace is when he's judging her and that really it's just a waste of time. Judgment comes from within, it's not about the other person, and he has to live in the painful feeling of all that judging. Angus points out that judgment is in fact the flip side of presence.

There is no technique for staying in this space - we will slip up - but with experiential learning, we can surf our emotional experience more gracefully. We can surrender to the flow of our essential nature, which is our wisdom; our GPS system. It's not about never slipping up, it's about flexing our muscle to bounce back.

This episode explores:

• Compassion as a natural byproduct of presence
• How to hold space for others when they're angry with us: to not take a personal attack personally
• When we complain internally, we are creating our own movies about our partners
• The illusion that we won't perform as well with a quiet mind - when it's actually the opposite
• Surrendering our conditioning and programming to what's always been there and what will always be
• There is no perfection in this
• This approach is not new, it's natural.

Show Notes
Magic carpet ride to wellbeing: presence and understanding.
Blood and gusto: Angus's special mix of idioms.
Crazyland: a place only women travel to. No, just kidding, but a helpful term to use with Mateo during rapport building.
Boom: What you say before you drop the mic.
A-side: one side of a 45 record, or presence and compassion (b-side being judgment).

Podcast music
Rewilding Love features the music of RhythmPharm with Los Angeles based Master drummer, multi-instrumentalist, and composer Greg Ellis, born and raised in the Bay Area. Episode 9 includes selections from: Violet/Balance; Blue/Calm; Orange/Nourishment; Yellow/Clarity.

Feedback: info@therewilders.org

Angus & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships. They co-facilitate individualized couples' intensives that rewild relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is the author of the ebook Marriage, and they are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can also follow Angus and Rohini Ross on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about their work visit: therewilders.org.

Rohini broaches the subject of divorce, recognizing that Alicia's fear of the relationship ending is part of what fuels her volatility. If Alicia can make self-honoring choices, it will be better for her and the relationship, and the key is to make decisions about the next steps from a place of inner calm and wellbeing instead of fear. The Rewilders don't view the ending of a relationship as a failure, rather their work centers around facilitating individual transformations and connection with inner wellbeing and peace of mind. This has the ripple effect of benefitting relationships.

Alicia is really starting to see where her upset comes from; her relationship to her own thinking. She and Rohini discuss how she'll be better off walking away or distracting herself in times of reactivity instead of leaning into it and acting from that feeling. Only life or death situations are dire enough to require immediate attention, most anything else allows for a pause. 

Rohini cautions Alicia against using this understanding as bait for being hard on herself, we can't control what thoughts come in, but we do have choice over how much attention we pay them. If we resist boarding the thought train when we're in a reactive state of mind, we give ourselves the chance to return to an innate feeling of calm and wellbeing. Our quality of feeling always tells us the truth about our state of mind and learning what neutrality feels is helpful.

Episode 8 explores:

• Not paying attention to our conceptual mind when it's caught up.
• Once we start on this learning curve, our normal for what upsets us starts to change.
• Neutrality has a peaceful feeling to it, if it doesn’t feel that way, you're not there.
• Learning where our experience comes from is simple but life-changing.
•  Rewilding is the opposite of self-management.
• Making room for humanness and frailty in relationships brings out the best in partners. Conversely, feeling tamed or required to change brings out the worst.
• We don't have to board the train of our thinking.

Show Notes
Self-flagellation: the disciplinary and devotional practice of flogging oneself with whips or other instruments that inflict pain (not recommended).

Rational coating: the coating that some thoughts deceptively come to us coated with.

Running with weights on: unhelpful mental cardio.

Putting the oxygen mask on yourself first: Asked to do this in planes before aiding others; a helpful metaphor as a reminder to take care of ourselves first in relationships.

Podcast music
Rewilding Love features the music of RhythmPharm with Los Angeles based Master drummer, multi-instrumentalist, and composer Greg Ellis, born and raised in the Bay Area. Episode 8 includes selections from: Violet/Balance; Blue/Calm; Orange/Nourishment; Yellow/Clarity.

Feedback: info@therewilders.org

Angus & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships. They co-facilitate individualized couples' intensives that rewild relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is the author of the ebook Marriage, and they are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can also follow Angus and Rohini Ross on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about their work visit: therewilders.org.

Mateo experiences a dramatic shift in perspective. By exploring some of his more irrational thoughts about Alicia, he begins to see how the discord in their relationship is a "monster of his own making." Low moods look for something (or someone) they can hang themselves on. But as soon as we start to blame someone else for our feelings, we disempower ourselves and become the victim to the very thing (or person) we're blaming.

We find out Mateo wants this relationship to work, and he played the divorce card out of fear of getting hurt, not a desire for the relationship to end. Unsigned divorce papers enable him to remain in the relationship, with one foot out the door. Angus points out that not only does that take a great deal of energy, but that also there's no way for them to explore whether to remain in the relationship if Mateo isn't fully in it. 

Mateo wants to know how he can practice this understanding in real-time and Angus explains he needs to have his own insight about what will work best for him. Mateo sees that he needs to show up to the relationship without such a busy mind -- allowing himself to experience Alicia with a fresh outlook. But is Mateo too late? 

This episode explores the following:

• It’s easier to be all-in in a relationship than to have one foot out the door -- it takes a great deal of energy to live in limbo.
• It only takes one person to get this understanding for there to be a shift in the relationship.
• Not taking each other's flare-ups personally leads to more goodwill.
• When we’re in a low mood it is easy to look outside of ourselves to try and find the cause of that low mood. That is why we tend to blame those who are nearest and dearest to us.
• Learned conditioning isn’t who we are.
• Trust your heart, that’s where the gold is.

Show notes
Paint yourself into a corner: to create a predicament or unpleasant situation for oneself whereby there are no or very few favorable solutions or outcomes.

Pavlovian response: refers to the physician, Ivan Pavlov, who conducted experiments that demonstrated the conditioned response, or the theory of classical conditioning. 

Napa Valley: beautiful wine country in California, or a really annoying reference your partner makes.

Podcast music

Rewilding Love features the music of RhythmPharm with Los Angeles based Master drummer, multi-instrumentalist, and composer Greg Ellis, born and raised in the Bay Area. Episode 7 includes selections from: Violet/Balance; Blue/Calm; Orange/Nourishment; Yellow/Clarity.

Feedback: info@therewilders.org

Angus & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships. They co-facilitate individualized couples' intensives that rewild relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is the author of the ebook Marriage, and they are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can also follow Angus and Rohini Ross on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about their work visit: TheRewilders.org.

Alicia reveals to Rohini that she felt completely blindsided by Mateo's unhappiness in their relationship. She blames Mateo and struggles to examine her own role in the status of the relationship. Rohini helps Alicia to let go of judgments that create the experience of shame for her so she can peel back the layers of denial and see how her reactivity has been pushing Mateo away. 

With her guard down, Alicia begins to explore her inner experience and how her own emotions, not Mateo's, can give her warning signals regarding her state of mind, and her need to take care of herself when her mood drops. Rohini explains how having the understanding that our internal experience is created from within, doesn't mean behaviors can't change, but shifts in behavior result from internal shifts in understanding and are much more likely when there is goodwill in the relationship. 

Alicia experiences greater freedom when she realizes she is not responsible for what Mateo is feeling. If she can stop working so hard trying not upset him, she'll reduce the resentment that has built up from all that hard work not going anywhere. By realizing she's not responsible, she can eliminate the feeling of walking on eggshells, and contribute to creating a feeling of goodwill in the relationship. Not feeling guilty and responsible, leaves a person feeling more open-hearted.

This episode explores:

• A shift in understanding is necessary for behavioral change.
• It is okay to be on the learning curve of navigating difficult emotions.
• Self-care is the first priority when experiencing upset.
• We all live in separate realities - life looks different through our separate lenses
• Seeing psychological innocence in others helps reduce blame and resentment. We are all only ever doing our best given how we see things.
• Shifting the focus from blame to seeing the role of state of mind in relationships.

Show notes
Tenderization: A new coaching term Angus has created to describe one's guard coming down.
Hot potato: A party game that involves players gathering in a circle and tossing a small object such as a beanbag or even a real potato to each other while music plays. The player who is holding the object when the music stops is eliminated.
Carte blanche: Complete freedom to act as one wishes or thinks best.
Teflon: A brand of non-stick pans, i.e. being immune to someone else's reactivity.

Podcast music
Rewilding Love features the music of RhythmPharm with Los Angeles based Master drummer, multi-instrumentalist, and composer Greg Ellis, born and raised in the Bay Area. Episode 6 includes selections from: Violet/Balance; Blue/Calm; Orange/Nourishment; Yellow/Clarity.

Feedback: info@therewilders.org

Angus & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships. They co-facilitate individualized couples' intensives that rewild relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is the author of the ebook Marriage, and they are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can also follow Angus and Rohini Ross on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about their work visit: TheRewilders.org.

Mateo reveals that he does in fact want the relationship to work, but only if Alicia changes. Angus points Mateo toward the fact that his experience is created from within, independent of Alicia, and that ultimately she cannot touch his wellbeing. Mateo is reluctant but is starting to see the role that his mood plays in how he interprets Alicia’s actions.

Angus points out that Mateo is a deep-thinker, which can be a great thing, except when used against oneself. Mateo can see how his over-analysis, and painful thinking, is begetting more painful thinking that’s leading him to shut himself down in the presence of Alicia. He wants to feel more free, to be able to come home and kiss Alicia and talk about their day, but he thinks by opening that door, he leaves himself vulnerable to Alicia wreaking havoc on his mood. Now that he’s beginning to see where his experience is coming from, there is a glimmer of hope that Mateo might open himself up again in the relationship.

This episode explores:

• The futility of trying to change someone else. This leads to hostility and resentment.
• The impact of state of mind on our experience.
• Righteousness doesn't allow room for understanding.
• The power of recognizing you feel the thoughts you identify with.
• One person in a couple making a shift can create change within the relationship.
• We can be victimized by our own habitual thoughts.
• The nature of thought is to settle, the mind is designed to return to peace.
• Suffering is chronic and continuous when we identify with low mood thinking.
• Recognizing when we can trust our thinking is a game-changer.
• Angus reveals his own misunderstanding when he and Rohini first adopted their dog.

Podcast music: Rewilding Love features the music of RhythmPharm with Los Angeles based Master drummer, multi-instrumentalist, and composer Greg Ellis, born and raised in the Bay Area.

Ep. 5 includes selections from: Violet/Balance; Blue/Calm; Orange/Nourishment; Yellow/Clarity.

Show notes

Viktor Frankl: An author, neurologist, psychiatrist, and Holocaust survivor who wrote "Man's Search for Meaning".
Tale of woe: a sad story; a list of personal problems; an excuse for failing to do something.
Funfair: British way of referring to a fair.

Feedback: info@therewilders.org

Angus & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships. They co-facilitate individualized couples' intensives that rewild relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is the author of the ebook Marriage, and they are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can also follow Angus and Rohini Ross on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about their work visit: TheRewilders.org.

This is a beautiful conversation with recording artist and Rewilding Guide, Alvin Dawkins, about the unshakable truth of who we are at our core despite our circumstances. We also get a special sneak preview reading from Alvin's forthcoming memoir, From Prison to Purpose, which chronicles Alvin's birth in prison to his being adopted and growing up in Alabama during the harrowing Jim Crow era, to his discovery of music and his true spiritual essence. 
 
Alvin reminds us that no matter what we've been through, the wisdom behind life -- this creative energy force that infuses us all, remains intact no matter what. Not only is it intact, but it is guiding us, and we get to be part of it. He likens this truth to learning the mechanics of music, or an instrument so that we can play it -- but we then do better when we release the mechanical knowledge and become the instrument. That's when the music plays through us. The same can be said of the spiritual energy we are all a part of. For Alvin, music was the most powerful gateway that led him to embody his truth.
 
For many years Alvin battled with depression and distorted self-limiting beliefs. Through his journey of finding freedom from depression and his many "internal prisons," he realized so many people are still trapped living in their own prisons, not living from their authentic selves, and he wrote his upcoming memoir to show others that it's possible to break free and to point readers to the truth of they are. As Angus points out, one of the best ways we can point people toward their true nature is by telling our own stories, recounting our own insights, so that people might start to see the truth and possibility in finding the same freedom. 

This episode explores:

• the metaphorical meaning of rewilding
• "God's love never abandons us" - Alvin Dawkins
• the arts as a gateway to our soul
• the nature of life is ever-expanding
• telling our story helps us point to the formless

Show Notes
"psyche": Greek for breath, life, soul. Psychology is ultimately the study of the soul.
"higgledy-piggledy": in confusion or disorder / another Angus-ism

Alvin Dawkins is a Rewilder Guide. He's also a jazz bassist, composer, songwriter, and recording artist. He's author of the forthcoming book From Prison to Purpose, which is a memoir that chronicles his birth in prison, and being adopted and growing up in Alabama during the ugliness of Jim Crow segregation, during the heart of the civil rights movement, to freeing himself from depression and finding his calling.

Angus Ross & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships. They co-facilitate a private couples' intensives retreat program that rewilds relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is the author of the ebook Marriage, and they are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can also follow Angus and Rohini Ross on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about their work visit: therewilders.org. Read Rohini's latest blog.

Episode 49 features the music of RhythmPharm with Los Angeles-based composer Greg Ellis.

Alicia has an insight about not taking things personally. Luckily, she already has examples in her life where she feels immune to what Mateo says to her, and seeing that she doesn’t always take what he says personally allows her to see her own role in her reactivity. Rohini helps guide Alicia toward the truth of where her experience is always coming from, that we can only ever feel our own thinking, not circumstances. Together they explore how not being impacted by someone else’s behavior is empowering, not passive.

Alicia begins to view her reactivity as a common denominator in other relationships as well, which helps her embrace the idea of waiting for a calm mind before responding to Mateo. The Rewilders teach the couple about how emotions move through us, so even though they are coming from within, they are not another thing to try and control. Instead, we can treat our feelings like the weather and ride them out.

This episode explores:

• The personal vs. the impersonal
• The power of not taking things personally
• How feelings act as a guide to our state of mind at any moment
• Behavior is a reflection of the other person’s state of mind, which has nothing to do with us
• Gaining compassion for our partner when they’re in a low mood
• The way to decrease volatility in relationships
• Connecting with our own inner peace regardless of our partner
• We experience what we are identifying with in our own mind, not circumstances
• Understanding our experiences come from within is liberating
• Emotions move through us like the weather, we can wait until we feel more settled to act

Podcast music: Rewilding Love features the music of RhythmPharm with Los Angeles based Master drummer, multi-instrumentalist, and composer Greg Ellis, born and raised in the Bay Area.

Ep. 4 includes selections from: Violet/Balance; Blue/Calm; Orange/Nourishment; Yellow/Clarity

Show notes
Cad and a bounder: Old fashioned, British phrase for saying a man is acting in an unkind, deceitful, or selfish way.

North American irony: Angus questions whether this exists.

Feedback: info@therewilders.org

Angus & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships. They co-facilitate individualized couples' intensives that rewild relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is the author of the ebook Marriage, and they are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can also follow Angus and Rohini Ross on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about their work visit: TheRewilders.org.

Though Alicia and Mateo are on guard with each other, Rohini and Angus begin to explore the deeper feelings of love and wellbeing present in both of them. Mateo vacillates between the loving feelings in his heart and the pestering thoughts in his mind, as Angus helps surface a glimmer of Mateo’s true feelings for Alicia. Alicia expresses her admiration for who Mateo is as a person -- she wishes he saw himself the way she sees him. Can they start to trust their wisdom over their judgments?  

As Alicia and Mateo struggle to find common ground, Angus and Rohini support them in recognizing the seeds of love that are still present and ready to be rewilded. 

This episode explores:

• How Alicia and Mateo’s experiences are subjective and a reflection of their mood in the moment, not the other person.
• How both Alicia and Mateo feel justified in their positions and decide the other person is responsible for their suffering.
• Finding the seeds of love in the relationship and bringing them into focus to support the rewilding of love.
• How Alicia and Mateo need to remember what love looks like and to arrive at seeing where there is still love in the relationship, rather than focus on what's not working.
• What is going to help Alicia and Mateo find common ground?
• Inner wisdom always points us toward love.
• Holding space for the innate wisdom, well-being, and love in each of us to unfold.
• The importance of where you are coming from when entering a conversation.
• How it is easy to make up our own story about what is going on with the other person when there is a lack of communication.
• Helping them to see that the other person isn't responsible for their suffering by looking at where their experience really comes from so that they can feel more empowered and less victimized in the relationship.

Podcast music: Rewilding Love features the music of RhythmPharm with Los Angeles based Master drummer, multi-instrumentalist, and composer Greg Ellis, born and raised in the Bay Area.

Ep. 3 includes selections from: Violet/Balance; Blue/Calm; Orange/Nourishment; Yellow/Clarity.

Show Notes:
What Is the Difference Between a Crevice and a Crevasse?
The difference between a crevice and a crevasse is more than just a few letters. It’s the difference between geology and glaciology. While both terms come from the Anglo-French word crevace, to break, they mean two different things. Crevices are cracks or splits caused by a fracture of a rock, while a crevasse is a deep fracture in a glacier or ice sheet.

Stalker: Can refer to still-hunting, which involves moving as slowly, quietly, and inconspicuously as possible, so you will see the deer before it sees you. Or you know, more commonly can refer to a person who harasses someone with unwanted and obsessive attention.

Feedback: info@therewilders.org

Angus & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships. They co-facilitate individualized couples' intensives that rewild relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is the author of the ebook Marriage, and they are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can also follow Angus and Rohini Ross on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about their work visit: TheRewilders.org.

The blame game is in full effect as Alicia and Mateo each have their very separate realities and see the other party as wrong. Mateo blames Alicia’s temper for his habit of shutting down, and Alicia blows up when she feels like she’s the only responsible one in the relationship or the only one who cares. Their lack of empathy and understanding about the other person's point of view results in their polarization. This wedge between them helps them stay convinced that the other’s behavior is the cause of their suffering -- can Rohini and Angus help them find understanding?

From narrow and self-focused perspectives, Alicia and Mateo justify their actions. From this state of mind, their thinking is distorted and they can’t see the whole picture. As they move toward more open-minded and open-hearted feelings, they gain the opportunity to see each other differently.  Once they arrive in this space of greater trust, they access a more well-rounded perspective. The quality of their relationship actually reflects the quality of their individual states of mind.

This episode explores:

• The current status of Alicia and Mateo’s relationship.
• How Alicia and Mateo tell the tale of two different relationships.
• How a desire to protect optics in the face of friends and family can get in the way of being honest about what they are going through.
• How challenging it is for the relationship when both people feel discouraged.
• The importance of each person in the relationship having their own insight and transformation.
• The important role that the individual state of mind plays in order to open up to new possibilities.
• Initial sessions with Alicia and Mateo to begin hearing both sides.
• How common it is, and how detrimental it is, to keep a laundry list of woes.
• How many couples play the blame game.
• The challenges associated with volatility in relationships.
• How painful a lack of understanding can be.
• The negative impact of judgment in relationships.

Podcast music: Rewilding Love features the music of RhythmPharm with Los Angeles based Master drummer, multi-instrumentalist, and composer Greg Ellis, born and raised in the Bay Area.

Ep. 2 includes selections from Violet/Balance and Blue/Calm

Show Notes:
Agent provocateur: one employed to associate with suspected persons and by pretending sympathy with their aims to incite them to some incriminating action. Also a British lingerie retailer.

Wood for the trees: If someone can't see the wood for the trees in British English, or can't see the forest for the trees in American English, they are very involved in the details of something and so they do not notice what is important about the thing as a whole.

Feedback: info@therewilders.org

Angus & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships. They work with couples who are struggling and couples who would like to deepen the love and intimacy they already have. They co-facilitate individualized couples' intensives that rewild relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is the author of the ebook Marriage, and they are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can also follow Angus and Rohini Ross on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about their work visit: TheRewilders.org

Meet Alicia and Mateo, the couple in crisis who we’ll be following for the first season. Alicia was devastated when Mateo presented her with divorce papers. She wondered how they got to this point. Seven years ago, they were saying “I love you” on their first date. Mateo thought marriage would fix all of their problems, but now he feels like he’s made the biggest mistake of his life. Can Rohini and Angus help them rewild the love that is underneath the hurt and anger? And even if they do, will they stay together?

A lesson emerges that all couples can benefit from, we are not responsible for our partner’s experience. Embodying levity and depth, Angus and Rohini begin the journey of pointing to the innate love, harmony, and well-being that is already present in all people and all relationships.
 
This episode explores:

• How Alicia and Mateo met.
• The impact of mood on state of mind and how what we see through the lens of a low mood can’t be trusted.
• Flipping the paradigm: we are not responsible for our partner’s experience, and there’s immense freedom in seeing that.
• Angus and Rohini’s inspiration for the podcast.
• What it means to “rewild relationships.”
• How Mateo uses the threat of divorce to try and effect change, but he feels ambivalent about going through with it, leaving room for hope and possibility.
• The perils of falling into a victim mindset in relationships.
• Feeling unappreciated is a common theme couples experience.

Podcast music: Rewilding Love features the music of RhythmPharm with Los Angeles based Master drummer, multi-instrumentalist, and composer Greg Ellis, born and raised in the Bay Area.

These 100% organic soundscapes are designed to tune, invigorate, calm, balance, nourish, activate, and clarify one’s mind, body, and soul. RhythmPharm helps one to Listen Differently.

Ep. 1 includes selections from: Violet/Balance; Yellow/Clarity; Green/Growth

Show Notes:
Last chance saloon: Phrase comes from a saloon in Caldwell City, Kansas built-in 1869. It was called that because it was the last place to buy a legal alcoholic drink before passing into "Indian country" where the possession and sale of alcohol were forbidden.

Hunky Dory: The least exotic theory of all, but almost certainly the true clue, traces hunky-dory" to the archaic American slang word "hunk," meaning "safe," from the Dutch word "honk," meaning "goal," or "home" in a game. To achieve "hunk" or "hunky" in a child's game was to make it "home" and win the game. Hunky Dory is also the fourth studio album by English singer-songwriter David Bowie, released December 17, 1971, by RCA Records.

Rewilding Video:  How Wolves Change Rivers

Feedback: info@therewilders.org

Angus & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships. They co-facilitate individualized couples' intensives that rewild relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is the author of the ebook Marriage, and they are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can also follow Angus and Rohini Ross on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about their work visit: TheRewilders.org.