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Explore every episode of the podcast Relationships Made Easy

Dive into the complete episode list for Relationships Made Easy. Each episode is cataloged with detailed descriptions, making it easy to find and explore specific topics. Keep track of all episodes from your favorite podcast and never miss a moment of insightful content.

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TitlePub. DateDuration
401. Triggered or Just Upset? How to Tell (And What to Do When Someone Says "I'm Triggered")05 Oct 202600:43:59

It seems like triggers are everywhere these days. Last week at my local coffee shop, I heard someone say they were triggered because they were out of the kind of tea they liked to drink. Maybe someone in your life says “I’m triggered” in the middle of an argument, and you have to stop the conversation even though you think they’re using it as a weapon. Or maybe you feel what you consider to be a true trigger when someone confronts you and your mind goes blank, and you feel numb. When is trigger the right word for what happened? Today you’re getting the real definition of a trigger, what to do if a real trigger comes up in conversation, and how to (finally) resolve communication issues when someone says they’re triggered.

____________________________

Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/triggered-or-uncomfortable

Get the download - Real Trigger or Discomfort? A Quick Quiz to Find Out What’s Actually Happening: https://abbymedcalf.com/trigger-quiz

✨ Get my new book now available on Amazon, Stop Reacting, Start Connecting: No Couples Therapy Required: https://abbymedcalf.com/stop-reacting-book

✨ Check out Cure Hydration and use my code RME for a great deal: https://www.curehydration.com

✨ Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack.

You'll get...

✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes

✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations

✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby

_________

👉 Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! 

https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/ 

👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook 

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.

Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/resources

 

Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abbymedcalfphd 

YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube



Our Sponsors:
* Check out Cure Hydration and use my code RME for a great deal: https://www.curehydration.com
* Check out Quince and use my code RME for a great deal: https://www.quince.com


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
400. Can One Person Really Change a Relationship? Here's What the Research Says28 Sep 202600:40:19

You've been waiting for someone else to change first - your partner, your mother, your business partner, whoever it is - because you think the relationship can't change until they do something different. Today you're going to learn why that wait was never necessary. One person, on their own, is enough to change the whole relationship.

____________________________

Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/one-person-change-relationship-reactive-loop

Get the assessment: What’s Triggering You? A quick assessment to find your biggest trigger: https://abbymedcalf.com/whats-triggering-you

Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack.

You'll get...

✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes

✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations

✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby

_________

 👉 Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! 

https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/ 

👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.

Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/resources

 

Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abbymedcalfphd 

YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube



Our Sponsors:
* Check out Cure Hydration and use my code RME for a great deal: https://www.curehydration.com
* Check out Quince and use my code RME for a great deal: https://www.quince.com


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
399. Why You Self-Sabotage When Things Are Finally Going Well21 Sep 202600:35:47

You finally get the good thing: the relationship that's steady, the promotion, the friendship that's truly reciprocal, and right when it's working, you pick a fight, or pull back, or suddenly find something wrong that wasn't there last week. There are two very specific reasons you self-sabotage when things are finally going well, and today you'll learn both, plus effective tools so you can stop self-sabotaging and start enjoying your life.

____________________________

Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/why-you-self-sabotage-when-things-are-good

Take the assessment: Are You Self-Handicapping or Self-Verifying? A 2-Minute Check-In if You’re Self-Sabotaging When Things are Good: https://abbymedcalf.com/self-sabotage

Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack.

You'll get...

✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes

✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations

✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby

_________

👉 Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/ 

👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.

Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/resources

Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abbymedcalfphd 

YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube



Our Sponsors:
* Check out Cure Hydration and use my code RME for a great deal: https://www.curehydration.com
* Check out Quince and use my code RME for a great deal: https://www.quince.com


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
398. Why Your Conversations Keep Going in Circles (And the 2-Step Fix)14 Sep 202600:38:38

You’re stuck in an argument. Maybe it’s the same fight you have every few weeks. Maybe it’s a standoff where nobody budges. Maybe someone goes quiet and passive-aggressive instead of saying what’s wrong. All three have the same root cause. You’re arguing the facts, and no one’s talking about what’s happening underneath the words. Whatever’s happening emotionally is what’s keeping the conversation stuck. You’re arguing the facts, hoping that’ll help, but it doesn’t because you’re focusing on the wrong thing. We connect through feelings, not thoughts, and until someone names the feelings, the facts just keep circling. Today I’m giving you my two-step process to shift this dynamic, so you can start connecting instead of going around in circles.

____________________________

Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/conversations-going-in-circles-same-fight

Get The Circle-Breaker Script Sheet: What to Say When a Conversation Won’t Move Forward: https://abbymedcalf.com/circle-breaker-script 

Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack

You'll get...

✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes

✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations

✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby

_________

👉 Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! 

https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/  

👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.

Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/resources

Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abbymedcalfphd 

YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube



Our Sponsors:
* Check out Cure Hydration and use my code RME for a great deal: https://www.curehydration.com
* Check out Quince and use my code RME for a great deal: https://www.quince.com


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
397. Whose Voice Is Your Inner Critic, Really?07 Sep 202600:45:19

Your inner critic isn't really your voice. Research says that voice almost always started out as someone else's, usually a parent or caregiver from way back. The problem is you've been repeating it in your own head for so long you forgot it was someone else's way of thinking and not your own. It's time to choose what you say to yourself, so today I'm going to help you figure out who you are underneath that voice and my two-step process for getting it to stop running the show.

____________________________

Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/whose-voice-is-your-inner-critic

Get a 2-Step Tool for Quieting Your Inner Critic: https://abbymedcalf.com/quieting-inner-critic 

Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack

You'll get...

✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes

✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations

✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby

_________

Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week!  https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/ 

👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.

Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/resources

Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abbymedcalfphd 

YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube



Our Sponsors:
* Check out Cure Hydration and use my code RME for a great deal: https://www.curehydration.com
* Check out Quince and use my code RME for a great deal: https://www.quince.com


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
396. The Mental Load: Why Helping Doesn’t Help31 Aug 202600:46:33

You’re supposed to be sleeping, but what you’re doing is lying there in the dark thinking about all the things. Why did I say that stupid thing in the meeting today? Is that chicken still good or does it have to get cooked tomorrow? Did the permission slip get signed for the field trip? And crap, I forgot to call mom back!

That’s the mental load, and it’s why you’re so tired. This isn’t about better sleep or having more downtime. It’s about the things you don’t realize you’re carrying. Today you’re going to learn what mental load really is, why it doesn’t get one bit lighter when somebody offers to help, and five things you can do about it.

____________________________

Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/what-is-the-mental-load

Free Download: Get the Mental Load Inventory: https://abbymedcalf.com/mental-load-inventory

Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack

You'll get...

✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes

✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations

✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby

_________

 Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! 

https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/ 

👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.

Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/resources

Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abbymedcalfphd 

YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube



Our Sponsors:
* Check out Cure Hydration and use my code RME for a great deal: https://www.curehydration.com
* Check out Quince and use my code RME for a great deal: https://www.quince.com


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
395. Hero, Scapegoat, Lost Child or Mascot: Which One Were You?24 Aug 202600:48:36

Which family role were you given? Dr. Abby Medcalf on the hero, scapegoat, lost child and mascot, what the research shows, and how to stop playing yours.

____________________________

Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/family-roles-hero-scapegoat-lost-child-mascot

Which Role Are You Still Playing? Take the Quiz! https://abbymedcalf.com/which-role-are-you-still-playing

Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack.

You'll get...

✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes

✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations

✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby

_________

 Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! 

https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/ 

👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.

Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/resources


Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abbymedcalfphd 

YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube



Our Sponsors:
* Check out Cure Hydration and use my code RME for a great deal: https://www.curehydration.com
* Check out Quince and use my code RME for a great deal: https://www.quince.com


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
394. Why You’re Nicer to Strangers Than to the People You Love17 Aug 202600:28:03

You were perfectly nice to the guy at the coffee counter this morning, and you were patient with the coworker who asked you the same question for the third time, and then you walked through your own front door and said something to the person you love most that you would never in a million years have said to either of those strangers. So, if you’ve ever thought, why am I so mean to the people I love, today’s episode is for you.

____________________________

Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/why-am-i-mean-to-the-people-i-love

Grab the free download for this What Would You Have Said to a Stranger: https://abbymedcalf.com/stranger

Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack

You'll get...

✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes

✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations

✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby

_________

 Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! 

https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/ 

👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook 

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.

Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/resources

Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abbymedcalfphd 

YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube



Our Sponsors:
* Check out Cure Hydration and use my code RME for a great deal: https://www.curehydration.com
* Check out Quince and use my code RME for a great deal: https://www.quince.com


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
393. You Can Become Securely Attached (Even If You Didn’t Start Out That Way)10 Aug 202600:43:53

You've taken the quiz and you've read the books, so you know your attachment style. But last night your partner said, "We need to talk," and your whole body went off like a car alarm. That anxiety or panic is an insecure attachment style doing its thing. So, the real question is: can you actually change it? And the real answer is yes, you can. It's called earned secure attachment; it's real, and researchers have been studying it for decades.

Today you'll learn what earned secure attachment really is, the three things earned secure attachment is not, and the five tools to start building it this week.

____________________________

Full blog and show note: https://abbymedcalf.com/earned-secure-attachment

Grab Your Repair Speed Baseline: How long does it take you to come back: https://abbymedcalf.com/repair-speed-baseline

Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack

You'll get...

✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes

✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations

✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby

_________

 Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! 

https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/ 

👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.

Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/resources


Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abbymedcalfphd 

YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube



Our Sponsors:
* Check out Cure Hydration and use my code RME for a great deal: https://www.curehydration.com
* Check out Quince and use my code RME for a great deal: https://www.quince.com


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
392. How Do You Actually Build Emotional Intimacy?20 Jul 202600:46:13

You can be married for thirty years and still feel lonely with the person sleeping next to you. If this is (or has been you), what you’ve actually been missing isn’t more time together, more sex, or more communication. You’re missing emotional intimacy. Today I’m walking you through what emotional intimacy actually is, the four things people confuse it with, why it’s so hard to build, the four building blocks that make it real, and exactly how to start practicing each one… starting today.

____________________________

Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/how-to-build-emotional-intimacy

Grab today’s free download: The Emotional Intimacy Audit: A Quick Scorecard to See Where You Actually Stand: https://abbymedcalf.com/emotional-intimacy-audit

Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack.

You'll get...

✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes

✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations

✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby

_________

👉 Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! 

https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/ 

👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.

Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/resources

Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abbymedcalfphd 

YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube



Our Sponsors:
* Check out Cure Hydration and use my code RME for a great deal: https://www.curehydration.com
* Check out Quince and use my code RME for a great deal: https://www.quince.com


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
391. How Do You Know If You’re Really in Love?13 Jul 202600:47:29

Today I’m going to walk you through what “in love” really means at the brain level (spoiler: it’s not just chemistry), why fear sounds so much like love your nervous system can’t tell them apart, the four fear thoughts that masquerade as love and how to spot each one, what real love feels like in your body, and how this should look at different stages of a relationship so you can tell whether you’re in love at the beginning, the middle, or the long-haul phase you might be in right now.

____________________________

Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/how-to-know-if-youre-in-love

Free Download: Am I in Love or Just Afraid? It’s a quick scorecard that’ll help you walk through this exact test on your own relationship: https://abbymedcalf.com/am-i-in-love

Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack.

You'll get...

✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes

✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations

✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby

_________

 👉 Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! 

https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/  

👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.

Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/resources

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390. “But It Felt So Real”: Why Red Flags Don’t Look Like Red Flags06 Jul 202600:47:40

Today I’m not doing the standard “look for red flags” thing. Ugh, I hate that phrase. It puts the whole burden on you to spot something that, by its nature, doesn’t look like a flag at all. (And then when you don’t see it, somehow that’s your fault? Nope. Stop. We’re not doing that here.)

The reason red flags feel like green flags is that high-intensity behaviors mimic the outputs of real love, things like attention, certainty, and devotion, without including any of the inputs, things like time, consistency, and being actually known. So today I’m walking you through eight specific behaviors that consistently get mistaken for green flags, plus one tool, the Pace Test, that does the work of all of them at once. You’re going to leave with a real radar for this.

____________________________

Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/red-flags-look-like-green-flags

Free Download: Is This a Green Flag or Just a Fast Flag?: A Quick Self-Check for Early Dating. Use this tool the next time you’re in early dating, or to look back honestly at a past relationship and see what you might have been picking up on: https://abbymedcalf.com/green-flag-fast-flag

Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack.

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👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.

Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/resources

Say hello on social:

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389. Why You Always Feel Like an Afterthought29 Jun 202600:43:07

You wanted them to choose you without being asked because you believe that if you have to ask, it doesn’t really count. You want a partner who puts their work down first. The parent who calls to see how you're doing. The friend who reaches out for no reason. When they don't, something in you decides it means there’s something wrong with you, and you add it to a growing list of evidence that you're the afterthought. But wanting to be chosen is a real psychological need, not neediness. The problem isn't the wanting, it's a belief you're probably carrying about what asking means. Today we'll name the five things you actually need to feel safe and seen in a close relationship, the belief that's quietly eroding yours, and a three-step process I call the 3 A's for getting out of the trap.

____________________________

Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/why-you-feel-like-an-afterthought

Download Am I Running a Silent Test? A Quick Self-Assessment, which walks you through spotting your own Silent Tests and running the 3 A's, step by step: https://abbymedcalf.com/silent-test

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👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.

Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shop

A great idea to stay motivated and keep your head in a positive direction is to buy some of my fabulous, inspirational merchandise. Get yourself a t-shirt, mug, tote bag or notebook with that daily reminder that you’ve got this! https://abbymedcalf.com/shop

Say hello on social:

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388. Why Fairness Is Destroying Your Relationship23 Jun 202600:45:29

That's not fair.

You said it as a kid. You've thought it as an adult. Maybe you thought it this morning when you were loading the dishwasher while your partner sat on the couch. Maybe you thought it when you were the one who made the dinner and then also had to clean up because somehow that's just how it goes. Maybe you're thinking it right now, because you're the one reading this, trying to figure out how to make things better, and why are you always the one who has to make changes when they're not doing anything? That's not fair either.

Fairness is one of the most universal thoughts humans have. And it's also one of the most quietly destructive forces in a relationship. Today, I'm going to show you why the fairness argument keeps you stuck, what the research says about what's happening in your brain when things feel unfair, and the one question that will change everything the next time you feel the resentment starting to build. You're going to leave this episode with a completely different way of thinking about fairness, and I promise it's going to change how you show up in every relationship in your life.

____________________________

Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/fairness-relationships-why-it-backfires

Grab The Fairness Reframe: The One Question That Stops Resentment Before It Starts: https://abbymedcalf.com/fairness-reframe

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👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.

Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shop

A great idea to stay motivated and keep your head in a positive direction is to buy some of my fabulous, inspirational merchandise. Get yourself a t-shirt, mug, tote bag or notebook with that daily reminder that you’ve got this! https://abbymedcalf.com/shop

Say hello on social:

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387. Why You Keep Choosing the Wrong Partner15 Jun 202600:39:37

If you've ever said, "My picker is broken," I want you to stop right there. Your picker isn't broken. It's working exactly the way it was trained to work. The problem is what it was trained on, and that's something you can actually change. In this episode, I'm going to walk you through the three psychological mechanisms that explain why you keep ending up in the same painful patterns, why that person who seemed so amazing kept disappointing you, and what you can concretely do to choose differently starting today. You're going to get the reframe, and then, as always, you're going to get the tools.

____________________________

Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/why-you-keep-choosing-the-wrong-partner

Download The Pattern Snapshot, a quick self-assessment to name what's actually driving your relationship pattern: https://abbymedcalf.com/pattern-snapshot

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_________

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👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.

Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shop

A great idea to stay motivated and keep your head in a positive direction is to buy some of my fabulous, inspirational merchandise. Get yourself a t-shirt, mug, tote bag or notebook with that daily reminder that you’ve got this! https://abbymedcalf.com/shop

Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving

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YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube



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386. Why You Do What You Do: An Introduction to Internal Family Systems08 Jun 202600:43:54

You've tried to change. You've done the work. And you still find yourself asking: why do I keep doing this? Today, I want to give you a framework that might finally answer that question. It's called Internal Family Systems, or IFS, and it explains why you react so differently depending on who you're with, why self-compassion feels impossible no matter how many times someone tells you to practice it, and why you keep choosing the same kind of person even when you know better. Nothing is wrong with you. You might just be missing a map.

____________________________

Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/what-is-internal-family-systems-ifs-therapy

Download The 8 C's Self-Energy Check: How much Self-energy are you accessing right now? https://abbymedcalf.com/self-energy-check

Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack.

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_________

 Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! 

https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/ 

👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.

Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shop

A great idea to stay motivated and keep your head in a positive direction is to buy some of my fabulous, inspirational merchandise. Get yourself a t-shirt, mug, tote bag or notebook with that daily reminder that you’ve got this! https://abbymedcalf.com/shop

Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abbymedcalfphd 

YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube



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385. Are You a Highly Sensitive Person? What the Research Actually Says01 Jun 202600:41:15

If you've spent most of your life being told you're too sensitive, too emotional, too intense, that you need to toughen up, let things go, stop taking everything so personally, this episode is for you. Today, I'm going to walk you through what the research actually says about being a highly sensitive person, or HSP. We'll look at what's happening in your brain, why the world feels so intense for you, how to recognize this trait in yourself, and most importantly, what you can actually do with this information so your sensitivity stops running your life and starts working for you instead. And, as always, I'm going to give you five practical tools so you can start feeling more at ease with who you are, right now.

____________________________

Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/highly-sensitive-person-hsp-science-tools

Are you an HSP? Take the assessment: https://abbymedcalf.com/hsp-self-assessment

Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack.

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_________

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👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.

Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shop

A great idea to stay motivated and keep your head in a positive direction is to buy some of my fabulous, inspirational merchandise. Get yourself a t-shirt, mug, tote bag or notebook with that daily reminder that you’ve got this! https://abbymedcalf.com/shop

Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving

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YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube



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384. You're Not Feeling Guilty. Here's What's Really Going On.25 May 202600:27:27

There's a word people use all the time that’s causing you a lot of unneeded suffering, mostly because you’re using it incorrectly. That word is guilty. You say you feel guilty for canceling plans. Guilty for not calling your mom back sooner. Guilty for wanting more space in your relationship. Guilty for saying no. But the vast majority of the time, what you're calling guilt isn't guilt at all! You've got the wrong label on a very real feeling, and that mislabel is keeping you stuck, second-guessing yourself, and apologizing for things you don't actually owe an apology for.

Today, I'm going to tell you what guilt actually is, walk you through the four things people most commonly mistake for guilt, and give you a three-step, concrete process for figuring out what you're really feeling so you can deal with it effectively. Because you can't solve the right problem if you've named it wrong.

_________

Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/you-dont-feel-guilty

Download Is It Actually Guilt? A Quick Diagnostic to Name What You're Really Feeling: https:/abbymedcalf.com/is-it-guilt  

Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack.

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_________

Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! 

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👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.

Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shop

A great idea to stay motivated and keep your head in a positive direction is to buy some of my fabulous, inspirational merchandise. Get yourself a t-shirt, mug, tote bag or notebook with that daily reminder that you’ve got this! https://abbymedcalf.com/shop

Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

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TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abbymedcalfphd 

YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube



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383. Are You Enmeshed or Just Close? Here's How to Tell18 May 202600:49:56

Have you ever felt guilty for wanting space? Like needing a little distance from someone you love means something is wrong with you, or with the relationship? Or maybe you've watched someone you're dating and thought, "Why does their family seem to know everything about everything and have an opinion on all of it?" What you might be looking at, in both cases, is enmeshment. Today we're talking about what enmeshment actually is, how to recognize it in yourself and in the people around you, and why the line between being close and being enmeshed matters more than most people realize. I'll give you the signs across romantic relationships, family dynamics, and friendships, including what to watch out for if you're dating someone from an enmeshed family. And I'll give you tools to start untangling it without blowing up the relationships that matter to you.

____________________________

Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/enmeshment-in-relationships

Get the quick self-assessment called Am I Enmeshed or Just Close? It'll walk you through the key questions to help you figure out what's actually going on in your most important relationships: https://abbymedcalf.com/am-i-enmeshed

Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack

You'll get...

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✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations

✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby

_________

 Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! 

https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/ 

👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries 

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.

Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shop

A great idea to stay motivated and keep your head in a positive direction is to buy some of my fabulous, inspirational merchandise. Get yourself a t-shirt, mug, tote bag or notebook with that daily reminder that you’ve got this! https://abbymedcalf.com/shop

Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abbymedcalfphd 

YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube



Our Sponsors:
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382. Why You Can’t Stop Comparing Yourself to Others11 May 202600:35:49

You’ve tried unfollowing people, making gratitude lists, staying in your own lane. And you still compare yourself to others. So what gives? You can’t stop comparing because you were never supposed to, and comparison isn’t a bad habit you can decide to quit. It’s a cognitive function, and you can’t opt out of cognitive functions. Every piece of advice that tells you to just stop is working against your own brain, which is exactly why it never sticks.

Today you’ll learn why comparison is hardwired into you, why the standard advice fails, why some people get pulled into it more painfully than others, and the specific shifts that actually make a difference.

____________________________

Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/why-you-cant-stop-comparing-yourself-to-others

Download the What Is This Comparison Really Telling You? Worksheet that walks you through identifying your own comparison triggers, what they’re actually pointing at, and how to redirect when the spiral starts: https://abbymedcalf.com/what-is-this-comparison

Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack.

You'll get...

✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes

✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations

✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby

_________

 Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! 

https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/ 

👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.

Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shop

Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abbymedcalfphd 

YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube



Our Sponsors:
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381. Why You Shut Off Your Feelings (And Why It's Catching Up With You)04 May 202600:33:35

You're doing fine. Really. You've got work handled, the relationship seems okay, you've moved on from that fight or that disappointment, and you're not thinking about it anymore. Except, you kind of are. You just don't know it yet. That's what compartmentalization does: it doesn't actually clear your feelings away. It boxes them up and slides them onto a shelf so you can keep functioning. And that shelf? It fills up. Stay with me, because today we're going to talk about what compartmentalization actually is, why your brain learned to do it, what it costs you in relationships, and what you can do to start clearing those shelves before they collapse.

_________

Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/compartmentalization-in-relationships 

Download the Self-Assessment, Am I Compartmentalizing? https://abbymedcalf.com/compartmentalizing-assessment

Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack.

You'll get...

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✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations

✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby

_________

Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! 

https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/ 

👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook 

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes

Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shop

A great idea to stay motivated and keep your head in a positive direction is to buy some of my fabulous, inspirational merchandise. Get yourself a t-shirt, mug, tote bag or notebook with that daily reminder that you’ve got this! https://abbymedcalf.com/shop

Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

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YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube



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380. The 7 Childhood Experiences That Shape Every Relationship You'll Ever Have27 Apr 202600:36:50

You probably know what an ACE is. Adverse Childhood Experience. Trauma, instability, the things that happened to you that you didn't deserve and couldn't control. Researchers have spent decades documenting how those early experiences affect your brain, your nervous system, your relationships, and your health decades later.

But there's a side of that research that almost nobody talks about, and it may be the most hopeful thing I've ever read: the science of what protected you. Or would have. Or still can. There are seven specific childhood experiences, what researchers now call Positive Childhood Experiences or PCEs, that have been found to dramatically reduce the lifelong impact of adversity, even severe adversity. And the most important finding isn't just about kids. It's about you, right now.

In this episode, you're going to learn what those seven experiences are, how to figure out which ones were missing from your childhood, and most importantly, the research-backed ways adults can actually build what they didn't get.

____________________________

Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/positive-childhood-experiences-healing-adults

Download the My PCE Profile, a self-assessment that walks you through each of the seven positive childhood experiences: https://abbymedcalf.com/pce-profile

Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack.

You'll get...

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_________

Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! 

https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/  

👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.

Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shop

A great idea to stay motivated and keep your head in a positive direction is to buy some of my fabulous, inspirational merchandise. Get yourself a t-shirt, mug, tote bag or notebook with that daily reminder that you’ve got this! https://abbymedcalf.com/shop

Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving

YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube



Our Sponsors:
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379. You're Not Overreacting. Here's What's Actually Happening.20 Apr 202600:33:33

You snapped at your partner over something small, and you already know it wasn't really about that. You've gotten defensive with your mom, shut down with your boss, pulled away from a friend, and each time there's that same moment afterward where you think: why did I react like that? The shame of it is exhausting. And the confusing part is that you can't always explain it, even to yourself.

Today I'm giving you a new lens, not a replacement for everything you already know about yourself, but something more precise. Because there's a difference between knowing you got triggered and knowing exactly which need just got threatened. And that precision? It changes what you do next.

____________________________

Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/why-you-overreact-in-relationships

Download the Need Threat Identifier: https://abbymedcalf.com/need-threat-identifier. It walks you through all three needs, what a threat to each one looks and feels like across different relationships, and the one question to ask yourself when you feel activated.

Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack.

You'll get...

✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes

✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations

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_________

 Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! 

https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/ 

👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.

Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shop

A great idea to stay motivated and keep your head in a positive direction is to buy some of my fabulous, inspirational merchandise. Get yourself a t-shirt, mug, tote bag or notebook with that daily reminder that you’ve got this! https://abbymedcalf.com/shop

Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving

YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube



Our Sponsors:
* Check out Cure Hydration and use my code RME for a great deal: https://www.curehydration.com
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378. Stuck in a Situationship? Here's What's Really Going On13 Apr 202600:29:26

I've been quoted in both the Wall Street Journal and Women's Health about situationships, and I’ve been on countless radio broadcasts talking about situationships, so apparently, I’m an expert on this topic, but somehow I've never done an episode with a situationship focus. That changes right now. Today you'll learn why you can't leave, what your brain and your attachment history have to do with it, and what you need to start doing differently.

____________________________

Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/why-you-cant-leave-a-situationship


Get the two-minute assessment: Am I in a Situationship? https://abbymedcalf.com/in-a-situationship


Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack.

 

You'll get...

✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes

✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations

✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby

_________

 

Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! 

https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/ 

 

👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

 

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

 

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.


Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shop


A great idea to stay motivated and keep your head in a positive direction is to buy some of my fabulous, inspirational merchandise. Get yourself a t-shirt, mug, tote bag or notebook with that daily reminder that you’ve got this! https://abbymedcalf.com/shop


Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving

YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube



Our Sponsors:
* Check out Cure Hydration and use my code RME for a great deal: https://www.curehydration.com
* Check out Quince and use my code RME for a great deal: https://www.quince.com


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
377. Relationship Anxiety Explained: Why You Feel Insecure Even When Your Partner Is Safe06 Apr 202600:27:17

You can be in a genuinely (or relatively) healthy relationship and still feel anxious. Your partner texts you back, they show up when they say they will, and they're not pulling away or playing games. And yet, you still find yourself overthinking their tone, needing reassurance, or waiting for the other shoe to drop. If you've ever thought, "Why do I feel insecure when nothing is actually wrong?" this episode is for you.

 

Today we're talking about why love can feel unsafe even when you're with a safe partner, what's happening in your brain when closeness starts to trigger anxiety, and why reassurance or better communication usually doesn't fix it for long.

____________________________

Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/why-you-feel-insecure-in-a-healthy-relationship


Download Am I Actually Unsafe or Just Activated? A 2-minute nervous system check-in for relationship anxiety: https://abbymedcalf.com/unsafe-or-activated

 

Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack.

 

You'll get...

✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes

✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations

✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby

_________

 

Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! 

https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/ 

 

👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

 

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

 

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 

____________________________

 

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.

 

Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shop

 

A great idea to stay motivated and keep your head in a positive direction is to buy some of my fabulous, inspirational merchandise. Get yourself a t-shirt, mug, tote bag or notebook with that daily reminder that you’ve got this! https://abbymedcalf.com/shop

 

Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving

YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube



Our Sponsors:
* Check out Cure Hydration and use my code RME for a great deal: https://www.curehydration.com
* Check out Quince and use my code RME for a great deal: https://www.quince.com


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
376. Why Do I Always Feel Like a Victim? Here's What's Really Going On30 Mar 202600:47:16

Do you ever feel like life is just constantly happening to you? Like, no matter how hard you try, you end up right back in that same exhausting place, feeling small, stuck, powerless, and like you're always the one getting the short end of the stick? If you've ever caught yourself thinking, "Why does this always happen to me?" or "Why are people always treating me this way?", you're in exactly the right place. Today I'm going to answer that question. Why you feel like a victim and why you feel powerless, where it comes from, and most importantly, what you can actually do to change it. We're going to get into the neuroscience, of course the childhood piece, and I'm going to give you concrete tools you can use starting today.

____________________________


Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/why-you-always-feel-powerless-and-like-a-victim 


Take the self-assessment: Am I Playing the Victim? https://abbymedcalf.com/playing-victim


Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack.

 

You'll get...

✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes

✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations

✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby

_________

 

Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! 

https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/ 

 

👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

 

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

 

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.


Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shop


A great idea to stay motivated and keep your head in a positive direction is to buy some of my fabulous, inspirational merchandise. Get yourself a t-shirt, mug, tote bag or notebook with that daily reminder that you’ve got this! https://abbymedcalf.com/shop


Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving

YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube



Our Sponsors:
* Check out Cure Hydration and use my code RME for a great deal: https://www.curehydration.com
* Check out Quince and use my code RME for a great deal: https://www.quince.com


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

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375. Are You Codependent or Just a Good Person? Here’s How to Tell23 Mar 202600:40:23

You’re a caring person. You show up. You give. You’d do just about anything for the people you love. So when someone suggests you might be codependent, it stings because, from where you’re standing, you’re just being a good person. But what if both things are true? Today I’m going to show you the difference between true compassion and fear-based helping, the sneakiest place codependency actually hides, four questions to tell which one you’re doing in real time, and five things to do the moment you catch yourself crossing that line.

____________________________


Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/why-caring-people-are-often-codependent

 

Download The Compassion Check. It’s a quick self-quiz that helps you see in real time whether you’re giving from love or from fear: https://abbymedcalf.com/compassion-check


Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack.

 

You'll get...

✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes

✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations

✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby

_________

 

Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! 

https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/ 

 

👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

 

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

 

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.


Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shop


A great idea to stay motivated and keep your head in a positive direction is to buy some of my fabulous, inspirational merchandise. Get yourself a t-shirt, mug, tote bag or notebook with that daily reminder that you’ve got this! https://abbymedcalf.com/shop


Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving

YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube



Our Sponsors:
* Check out Cure Hydration and use my code RME for a great deal: https://www.curehydration.com
* Check out Quince and use my code RME for a great deal: https://www.quince.com


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
374. Is It Love or Limerence? How to Tell the Difference16 Mar 202600:34:38

You know that feeling. You’re going about your day and, out of nowhere, they’re in your head again. You replay a conversation from three weeks ago. You check your phone even though you know you didn’t hear it buzz. You catch yourself spinning out a whole imaginary future and then, when they actually do text, the rush is so intense it’s almost physical. But when they go quiet? Or when you can’t tell how they feel about you? The whole thing somehow gets even more intense. Most people call that falling in love. But what if it isn’t?


Today we’re talking about limerence: what it actually is, how it’s different from love, how to know if you’re in it, and what to do if you are. Whether you’re single, partnered, or in a relationship and suddenly consumed by someone who isn’t your partner, this episode will give you the language and the clarity you’ve been missing.

____________________________

Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/limerence-vs-love  


Get the download: Am I in Limerence or Love? A Clarity Checklist: https://abbymedcalf.com/limerance-checklist


Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack.

 

You'll get...

✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes

✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations

✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby

_________

 

Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! 

https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/ 

 

👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

 

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

 

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.


Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shop


A great idea to stay motivated and keep your head in a positive direction is to buy some of my fabulous, inspirational merchandise. Get yourself a t-shirt, mug, tote bag or notebook with that daily reminder that you’ve got this! https://abbymedcalf.com/shop


Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving

YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube



Our Sponsors:
* Check out Cure Hydration and use my code RME for a great deal: https://www.curehydration.com
* Check out Quince and use my code RME for a great deal: https://www.quince.com


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
373. Hustle Culture Is Lying to You: Make More Money by Working Smarter, Not Harder09 Mar 202600:37:43

What if I told you that the most powerful thing you could do for your financial life has nothing to do with working harder, hustling more, or grinding until something breaks? What if the real shift is an inside job? Today, we're going to talk about the science and, yes, the spirit behind creating more money with less effort. And I promise you, by the end, whether you're a hard-nosed data person or someone who keeps crystals on your desk, there’s going to be something today to make you think differently about how to create more wealth in your life.

____________________________


Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/how-to-make-more-money-without-working-more


Get the free download: What's Really Driving Your Relationship with Money? https://abbymedcalf.com/money-relationship


Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack.

 

You'll get...

✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes

✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations

✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby

_________

 

Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! 

https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/ 

 

👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

 

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

 

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.

Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shop


A great idea to stay motivated and keep your head in a positive direction is to buy some of my fabulous, inspirational merchandise. Get yourself a t-shirt, mug, tote bag or notebook with that daily reminder that you’ve got this! https://abbymedcalf.com/shop


Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving

YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube



Our Sponsors:
* Check out Cure Hydration and use my code RME for a great deal: https://www.curehydration.com
* Check out Quince and use my code RME for a great deal: https://www.quince.com


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
372. Why You Can't Get Out of Bed: Understanding Nervous System Shutdown vs. Rest03 Mar 202600:43:00

If you've been on TikTok lately, you've probably seen "bed rotting," people staying in bed all day, calling it self-care and radical rest. Gen Z is embracing it as a way to recover from burnout (and I’m finding it’s not just Gen Z’s who are doing this). But here's what's actually happening: your nervous system has gone into shutdown mode. Today we're talking about the difference between genuine rest and nervous system shutdown, why your body sometimes chooses immobilization over action, and what to do when you literally can't get yourself out of bed. You'll learn the science behind shutdown, how to tell if you're resting or avoiding, and practical tools to gently reactivate when you're stuck.

 

Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/bed-rotting-isnt-self-care

 

Download my free guide on nervous system regulation: https://abbymedcalf.com/nervous-system-check

 

Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack.

 

You'll get...

✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes

✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations

✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby

_________

 

Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! 

https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/ 

 

👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

 

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

 

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.


Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shop


A great idea to stay motivated and keep your head in a positive direction is to buy some of my fabulous, inspirational merchandise. Get yourself a t-shirt, mug, tote bag or notebook with that daily reminder that you’ve got this! https://abbymedcalf.com/shop


Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving

YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube



Our Sponsors:
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371. Co-Regulation Explained: Why You Absorb Other People's Emotions (And How to Stop)24 Feb 202600:41:51

Have you ever noticed how your partner's bad mood can completely derail your day? Or how when your sister calls upset, suddenly your heart is racing even though nothing's wrong in your life? Maybe you walk into the office and instantly feel tense because your coworker is stressed, or you leave a phone call with your mom feeling drained and anxious for hours afterward.


What's happening isn't a character flaw or a sign that you're "too sensitive." It's called co-regulation, and it's one of the most powerful forces in all your relationships. The problem? Most of us are doing it unconsciously, using patterns we learned as babies that no longer serve us.


Today, you're going to learn exactly how co-regulation works in your brain and body, why your childhood experiences are still running the show in all your relationships, and most importantly, three practical skills you can use right now to stop the cycle of mutual dysregulation. By the end of this episode, you'll understand why you can't think your way out of emotional reactivity, and what to do instead.

____________________________

Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/what-is-co-regulation


Download The Co-Regulation Quick Start Guide: 5 Tools to Calm Your Nervous System in Any Relationship: https://abbymedcalf.com/co-regulation-guide


Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack.

 

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_________

 

Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! 

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👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

 

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

 

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.


Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shop


A great idea to stay motivated and keep your head in a positive direction is to buy some of my fabulous, inspirational merchandise. Get yourself a t-shirt, mug, tote bag or notebook with that daily reminder that you’ve got this! https://abbymedcalf.com/shop


Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

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Our Sponsors:
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370. Should You Have Kids or Not? The Psychology Behind One of Life’s Biggest Decisions17 Feb 202600:38:29

Deciding whether to have kids isn’t just a practical decision. It’s one of the few choices in life that can feel irreversible, identity-shaping, and loaded with expectations you never asked for. Maybe part of you imagines a future with children and feels something warm and meaningful. And another part of you imagines the same future and feels panic, grief, or a quiet sense of “I’m not sure this is for me.” In this episode, I’m breaking down what the research actually says about parenthood, happiness, and meaning, why this decision feels so emotionally charged, and the five questions that genuinely help you figure out what you want, not what you’re supposed to want. If you’ve ever felt stuck between fear, pressure, and honesty about your own life, this episode is for you.

____________________________

Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/how-to-decide-whether-to-have-kids 

 

Download The Kids Decision Snapshot. It will help you start to think this through in a grounded way without pushing you toward any answer: https://abbymedcalf.com/kids-decision-snapshot

 

Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack.

 

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_________

 

Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! 

https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/ 

 

👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

 

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

 

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.

 

Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shop

 

A great idea to stay motivated and keep your head in a positive direction is to buy some of my fabulous, inspirational merchandise. Get yourself a t-shirt, mug, tote bag or notebook with that daily reminder that you’ve got this! https://abbymedcalf.com/shop

 

Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving

YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube



Our Sponsors:
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369. Avoidant Attachment: How to Love an Avoidant Partner Without Chasing or Losing Yourself10 Feb 202600:40:53

If you love someone who shuts down, pulls away, or goes emotionally quiet when things get close, this episode is for you. You might feel confused, lonely, or like you’re constantly guessing where you stand. Today, you’ll learn why people are avoidantly attached, why pursuing closeness backfires, and how to love an avoidant partner without chasing, over-explaining, or disappearing yourself.

____________________________

Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/avoidant-attachment-in-relationships

 

Get the Scripts! Loving an Avoidant Partner: 10 Things to Say and Not Say When They Pull Away. This guide gives you clear scripts, common traps, and repair language so you can show up grounded, direct, and self-respecting: https://abbymedcalf.com/avoidant-partner-scripts

 

Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack.

 

You'll get...

✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes

✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations

✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby

_________

 

Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! 

https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/ 

 

👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

 

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

 

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.

 

Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shop

 

A great idea to stay motivated and keep your head in a positive direction is to buy some of my fabulous, inspirational merchandise. Get yourself a t-shirt, mug, tote bag or notebook with that daily reminder that you’ve got this! https://abbymedcalf.com/shop

 

Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving

YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube



Our Sponsors:
* Check out Cure Hydration and use my code RME for a great deal: https://www.curehydration.com
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368. When Your Partner Needs Constant Reassurance: What Helps and What Hurts03 Feb 202600:52:56

If you love someone who needs a lot of reassurance, clarity, or emotional check-ins, this episode is for you. Today you’ll learn what anxious attachment is actually responding to, why reassurance doesn’t work long-term, and how to love an anxious partner in a way that creates real safety without losing yourself in the process.

____________________________

Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/how-to-love-an-anxiously-attached-partner


Download Loving an Anxious Partner: 10 Things to Say (and Not Say) When Anxiety Shows Up: https://abbymedcalf.com/anxious-partner-scripts


Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack.


You'll get...

✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes

✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations

✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby

_________

Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! 

https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/ 


👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries


👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook


👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 

____________________________


Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.


Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shop


A great idea to stay motivated and keep your head in a positive direction is to buy some of my fabulous, inspirational merchandise. Get yourself a t-shirt, mug, tote bag or notebook with that daily reminder that you’ve got this! https://abbymedcalf.com/shop


Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving

YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube



Our Sponsors:
* Check out Cure Hydration and use my code RME for a great deal: https://www.curehydration.com
* Check out Quince and use my code RME for a great deal: https://www.quince.com


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

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367. Why Anxious and Avoidant Partners Keep Getting Stuck in the Same Cycle27 Jan 202600:33:08

If you’ve ever been in a romantic relationship where one of you keeps reaching for closeness while the other pulls away just when things feel important, this episode is for you. If part of you feels like you’re always chasing connection, or part of you feels like too much closeness makes you want to escape, you’re not broken. You’re likely in an anxious-avoidant dynamic. Anxious and avoidant partners don’t randomly fall in love. This pairing is common for very specific psychological and nervous system reasons. Today I want to help you understand that pattern so you can stop personalizing what’s happening and start seeing it clearly. This is Part One of a three-part series. Today is about naming the dynamic. The next two episodes will focus on how to love an anxious partner and how to love an avoidant partner without losing yourself.

____________________________

Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/anxious-avoidant-relationships

 

Download Where Are You in the Anxious-Avoidant Cycle Right Now? It’s a quick self-assessment to help you understand how you’re showing up in your relationship when things get hard: https://abbymedcalf.com/anxious-avoidant-cycle-assessment

 

Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack.

 

You'll get...

✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes

✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations

✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby

_________

 

Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! 

https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/ 

 

👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

 

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

 

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.

 

Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shop

 

A great idea to stay motivated and keep your head in a positive direction is to buy some of my fabulous, inspirational merchandise. Get yourself a t-shirt, mug, tote bag or notebook with that daily reminder that you’ve got this! https://abbymedcalf.com/shop

 

Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving

YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube



Our Sponsors:
* Check out Cure Hydration and use my code RME for a great deal: https://www.curehydration.com
* Check out Quince and use my code RME for a great deal: https://www.quince.com


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
366. Divorcing a Narcissistic Ex: Why It Escalates and How to Protect Yourself and Your Kids20 Jan 202601:11:51

Most people expect a divorce or breakup to be painful. What they don’t expect is for it to feel strategic, relentless, and never-ending. If you’re separating from someone with narcissistic traits, you’re likely treating it as a transition, but they’re treating it like a war. Today you’ll learn why divorcing or breaking up with a narcissistic partner follows a completely different set of psychological rules, the mindset shifts that help you stop taking the bait, and what you need to do differently, especially if you have kids and want to protect them long-term.

____________________________

Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/divorcing-or-breaking-up-with-a-narcissist

 

Are You Divorcing or Breaking Up with Someone Who Has Narcissistic Traits? Get the Reality-Check Quiz: https://abbymedcalf.com/narcissistic-breakup-quiz

 

Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack.

 

You'll get...

✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes

✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations

✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby

_________

 

Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! 

https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/ 

 

👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

 

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

 

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.

 

Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shop

 

A great idea to stay motivated and keep your head in a positive direction is to buy some of my fabulous, inspirational merchandise. Get yourself a t-shirt, mug, tote bag or notebook with that daily reminder that you’ve got this! https://abbymedcalf.com/shop

 

Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving

YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube



Our Sponsors:
* Check out Cure Hydration and use my code RME for a great deal: https://www.curehydration.com
* Check out Quince and use my code RME for a great deal: https://www.quince.com


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

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365. Should You Stay or Leave Your Relationship?13 Jan 202600:56:10

How do you know when it’s time to stop trying in a relationship? I get asked this question a lot. How do you know if you’re giving up too soon? How do you know if a relationship still deserves more effort? How do you know if you’ll regret leaving?

 

These questions show up after you’ve already tried. After the conversations, the compromises, the therapy, the books, and the waiting. What makes this decision especially hard is that, by the time you’re asking it, you’re often not just confused. You’re likely self-gaslighting. While this isn’t a clinical diagnosis, it’s a pattern I see all the time. It’s when you talk yourself out of your own experience in order to avoid discomfort, loss, or a hard truth.

 

Today, you’ll learn why this decision feels so hard even when you’ve been unhappy for a long time, what psychological and biological forces keep you stuck, and how to assess what you actually need in a relationship so you can decide what to do next without panic, self-blame, or regret.

____________________________

Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/how-to-know-when-to-stop-trying-in-a-relationship


👉 Get the Relationship Clarity Worksheet. It walks you through identifying your non-negotiables, rating consistency, naming non-tolerables, and answering the long-term question in a grounded way: https://abbymedcalf.com/relationship-clarity-worksheet

 

Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack

 

You'll get...

✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes

✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations

✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby

 

Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! 

https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/ 

 

👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

 

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

 

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.


Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shop


A great idea to stay motivated and keep your head in a positive direction is to buy some of my fabulous, inspirational merchandise. Get yourself a t-shirt, mug, tote bag or notebook with that daily reminder that you’ve got this! https://abbymedcalf.com/shop


Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving

YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube



Our Sponsors:
* Check out Cure Hydration and use my code RME for a great deal: https://www.curehydration.com
* Check out Quince and use my code RME for a great deal: https://www.quince.com


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

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364. You Think Everyone Is Judging You, But They Aren’t06 Jan 202600:29:16

You think everyone is watching you. You think they noticed the weird thing you said. You think they’re analyzing your silence or your laugh or that moment you stumbled over your words. Then you replay it like it’s your job. Why can’t you stop?! You’re overthinking because your brain is running an old program from a time when belonging was survival. You’re not the problem. The wiring is the problem. So today you’re going to learn why your brain assumes people are thinking about you when they aren’t, what the research says about this spotlight you feel trapped under, and the three tools you can use to shut down the spiral so you can walk into any room steady and grounded.

____________________________

Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/stop-overthinking-what-people-think


Get The Overthinking Interrupt Formula: https://abbymedcalf.com/overthinking-formula

 

Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack.

 

You'll get...

✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes

✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations

✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby

_________

 

Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! 

https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/ 

 

👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

 

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

 

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.

 

Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shop

 

A great idea to stay motivated and keep your head in a positive direction is to buy some of my fabulous, inspirational merchandise. Get yourself a t-shirt, mug, tote bag or notebook with that daily reminder that you’ve got this! https://abbymedcalf.com/shop

 

Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving

YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube



Our Sponsors:
* Check out Cure Hydration and use my code RME for a great deal: https://www.curehydration.com
* Check out Quince and use my code RME for a great deal: https://www.quince.com


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
363. What to Do When Your Partner Shuts Down in Conflict16 Dec 202500:40:41

Your partner is not trying to ignore you during conflict. Their brain is overwhelmed. In this episode I explain emotional flooding, why it happens, and what actually helps in the moment. You will walk away with clear steps you can use today.

____________________________

Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/emotional-flooding-in-relationships

 

If you want exact language for these moments, download my one-page script pack:

https://abbymedcalf.com/emotional-flooding-scripts

 

Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack.

 

You'll get...

✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes

✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations

✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby

_________

 

Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/ 

 

👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

 

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

 

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.

 

Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shop

 

A great idea to stay motivated and keep your head in a positive direction is to buy some of my fabulous, inspirational merchandise. Get yourself a t-shirt, mug, tote bag or notebook with that daily reminder that you’ve got this! https://abbymedcalf.com/shop

 

Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving

YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube



Our Sponsors:
* Check out Cure Hydration and use my code RME for a great deal: https://www.curehydration.com
* Check out Quince and use my code RME for a great deal: https://www.quince.com


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362. They Were There But Not Really: Healing From Neglectful Parents09 Dec 202500:49:11

Ever feel like your parents were there but somehow you still grew up feeling unseen, unheard, or like you had to handle everything alone? In this week’s episode, we’re unpacking emotional neglect: what it really is, how it shapes your adult relationships, and five steps to finally heal and reparent yourself. If you’ve ever wondered why it’s so hard to ask for help, open up emotionally, or stop being the strong one, this episode is for you.

____________________________

 

Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/healing-neglectful-parents


Download your free Emotional Neglect Recovery Map, a five-step guide to help you reparent yourself, set boundaries, and finally feel emotionally safe: https://abbymedcalf.com/neglect-recovery-map

 

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_________

 

Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/ 

 

👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

 

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

 

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.


Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shop


A great idea to stay motivated and keep your head in a positive direction is to buy some of my fabulous, inspirational merchandise. Get yourself a t-shirt, mug, tote bag or notebook with that daily reminder that you’ve got this! https://abbymedcalf.com/shop


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361. How to Stop Freaking Out When Life Feels Uncertain02 Dec 202500:28:36

Your brain treats “not knowing” as danger, which is why uncertainty feels so awful. But you can train yourself to handle it. In this video, Dr. Abby Medcalf breaks down the neuroscience of uncertainty and teaches how to calm your nervous system, shift your mindset, and live beautifully even when life feels unpredictable. Includes research-backed tools and a free Uncertainty Tolerance Toolkit.

____________________________


Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/uncertainty-the-one-thing-you-cant-avoid


Want to start building your uncertainty tolerance? Download your free guide, Your Uncertainty Tolerance Toolkit: 3 Daily Practices to Calm Your Brain When Life Feels Out of Control: https://abbymedcalf.com/uncertainty-toolkit


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_________

 

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👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

 

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

 

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.


Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shop


A great idea to stay motivated and keep your head in a positive direction is to buy some of my fabulous, inspirational merchandise. Get yourself a t-shirt, mug, tote bag or notebook with that daily reminder that you’ve got this! https://abbymedcalf.com/shop


Say hello on social:

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360. Why You Keep Getting Triggered and How to Finally Break the Pattern25 Nov 202500:37:51

You swear it’ll be different this time. You’ll stay calm when your mom criticizes you, when your partner walks away mid-argument, or when your friend ghosts you for the third time. And yet…there you are again: defending, withdrawing, or apologizing just to make the tension stop. You’re not weak. You’re wired. Your brain learned long ago what to do when it sensed danger, and it still thinks those same moves are saving your life. Today we’re going to talk about what’s really driving your emotional reactions, why change feels so impossible at first, and the five-step process to finally rewire those old patterns for good.

____________________________

Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/breaking-emotional-patterns

 

Download your free guide: The Emotional Pattern Interrupter: A 1-Page Guide to Rewire in Real Time. This quick-win worksheet walks you through the five-step process in under two minutes so you can shift from reaction to choice the moment you feel triggered: https://abbymedcalf.com/pattern-interrupter


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👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

 

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

 

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.


Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shop


Say hello on social:

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359. Soothing Yourself First: Why Relying on Others Isn’t the Answer18 Nov 202500:52:06

You always wait. You wait for the phone call from your partner, the text from a friend, the counselor’s time, maybe even your parent’s voice to calm you. But what if I told you that waiting is costing you your power? That you are the single most reliable person you’ll ever have to calm you down, and until you claim that, you’ll keep showing up in your relationships needy, reactive, or out of sorts.

 

Today we’re going to uncover why you habitually reach for someone else first, how that pattern affects the one relationship you can’t escape (the one with you), and most importantly, I’ll give you five research-backed self-soothing tools you can start using right now, so you don’t have to wait for rescue.

____________________________

Full blog and show notes:  https://abbymedcalf.com/when-you-cant-wait-for-someone-to-calm-you-down

 

Get the self-soothing toolkit - Your Calm Is in Your Hands: 5 Ways to Self-Soothe Like an Adult: https://abbymedcalf.com/self-soothe


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👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

 

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.


Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

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358. Holiday Peace On Demand: What to Do When Family Drama Boils Over11 Nov 202500:29:18

The holidays can bring out the best in us and the absolute worst. One minute you’re sipping cocoa, the next you’re fantasizing about running away from the dinner table and hiding in your car. You love your family, but let’s be honest: they can drive you crazy. That’s why in this episode I’m giving you tools you can actually use in real time. You’ll learn a simple 90-second reset that calms your body, a handful of one-line phrases that stop conflict without escalating it, and a repair strategy you can use afterward so resentment doesn’t follow you into the new year.

____________________________

 

Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/holiday-peace-on-demand

 

Get Your Holiday Conflict Cheat Sheet: https://abbymedcalf.com/holiday-conflict-sheet

 

Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack.

 

You'll get...

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✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations

✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby

_________

 

Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! 

https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/ 

 

👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

 

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

 

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.

 

Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shop

 

Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

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YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube



Our Sponsors:
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357. Talk So They Lean In: The 5 Moves for Difficult Conversations03 Nov 202500:45:15

Hard conversations don’t usually blow up because of the issue itself. They blow up because of the moves we make in the moment. You’ve been there: you bring up money, or intimacy, or family dynamics, and suddenly you’re in the middle of a fight you didn’t want, wondering how it went sideways so fast. The good news? You don’t need more guts or more clever comebacks. You need a better playbook. Today I’ll teach you the five moves that keep defensiveness low and collaboration high. You’ll learn the exact questions to ask, what to do when your partner shuts down, and how to leave the conversation feeling connected instead of defeated.

____________________________

 

Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/how-to-have-hard-conversations-without-defensiveness

 

Download My Conversation Pocket Guide: https://abbymedcalf.com/convo-guide

 

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_________

 

Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! 

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👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

 

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

 

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.


Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shop


Say hello on social:

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YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube



Our Sponsors:
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356. When Kindness Has Claws: Dealing With Relational Aggression27 Oct 202500:33:03

Ever had someone freeze you out of a group text? Spread just enough gossip to make you doubt yourself? Smile to your face while subtly undermining you behind your back? That’s not just “drama,” it’s a form of bullying called relational aggression, and it can wreck friendships, families, and entire communities if it’s left unchecked. It’s not just drama. It’s emotional sabotage. Today, I’m breaking down what relational aggression really is, why it’s so destructive, and the research-backed strategies to protect yourself and stop the cycle, whether you’re dealing with family gatherings, sorority politics, or your neighborhood book club.

_________

 

Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/relational-aggression-how-to-recognize-it-and-stop-it


Get the Relational Aggression Response Scripts: https://abbymedcalf.com/aggression-scripts

 

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✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby

_________

 

Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! 

https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/ 

 

👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

 

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

 

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.


Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shop


Say hello on social:

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YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube

 



Our Sponsors:
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355. What to Do When Someone Gives You the Silent Treatment20 Oct 202500:23:41

You’re in a conflict, and suddenly, silence. No texts. No words. Just... nothing. It’s like you’re talking to a ghost. Whether it's your partner, parent, best friend, or coworker, the silent treatment isn’t just frustrating. It can be manipulative, even emotionally abusive. Today, I’m breaking down why people do it, how it messes with your brain, and what you can do instead of spiraling. Because begging for scraps of communication isn’t connection. And you deserve better than that.

____________________________

 

Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/how-to-deal-with-the-silent-treatment

 

Get the FREE Download What to Say When You’re Getting the Silent Treatment: 7 Boundary Scripts That Keep You Calm, Clear, and in Control: https://abbymedcalf.com/silent-treatment-scripts

 

Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack.

 

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_________

 

Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! 

https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/ 

 

👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

 

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

 

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.

 

Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shop

 

Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

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YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube



Our Sponsors:
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354. How to Get Motivated and Stay Motivated: Science-Backed Strategies That Work13 Oct 202500:39:34

Ever notice how you can get excited about something in the beginning, but then totally lose steam? You start a new meditation practice, promise yourself you’ll speak more kindly to your partner, or commit to exercising. At first, you feel that spark. But then life gets busy, the excitement fades, and suddenly your motivation’s gone.

 

Here’s the problem: what you do to get motivated isn’t what you do to stay motivated. It’s like lighting a campfire. You use kindling to get it going, but you need bigger and bigger sticks and finally logs to keep it burning. If you just keep tossing kindling on, the fire fizzles out. But if you toss a log on too soon, you’ll smash those tiny embers.

 

Today I’m going to show you what the research says about how to get motivated in the first place and, just as importantly, how to stay motivated over the long haul in all areas of your life, from your personal growth to your relationships.

____________________________

 

Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/get-and-stay-motivated


Download the Motivation Map Now: https://abbymedcalf.com/motivation-map

 

Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack.

 

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✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations

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_________

 

Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! 

https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/ 

 

👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

 

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

 

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.


Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving

YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube



Our Sponsors:
* Check out Cure Hydration and use my code RME for a great deal: https://www.curehydration.com
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353. When to Speak Up: What to Do If You Think Your Friend’s Relationship Is Toxic06 Oct 202500:29:41

You’re sitting across from your friend, watching them light up when their partner texts, and your stomach turns. Something feels off. You’ve seen the controlling behavior, the subtle put-downs, the “jokes” that aren’t really funny. You love your friend, and you’re worried. But what do you do with that? Do you say something and risk the friendship? Or do you stay quiet and hope they figure it out on their own?

____________________________

Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/how-to-talk-to-a-friend-in-a-toxic-relationship 

 

Get the free download: What to Say When You’re Worried: 10 Loving Scripts to Use When a Friend’s Relationship Looks Toxic. https://abbymedcalf.com/loving-scripts-friend

 

Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack.

 

You'll get...

✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes

✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations

✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby

_________

 

Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/ 

 

👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

 

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

 

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.

 

Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shop

 

A great idea to stay motivated and keep your head in a positive direction is to buy some of my fabulous, inspirational merchandise. Get yourself a t-shirt, mug,

tote bag, or notebook with that daily reminder that you’ve got this! https://abbymedcalf.com/shop

 

Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving

YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube



Our Sponsors:
* Check out Cure Hydration and use my code RME for a great deal: https://www.curehydration.com
* Check out Quince and use my code RME for a great deal: https://www.quince.com


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
352. Is Your Anxiety Trying to Protect You?29 Sep 202500:31:37

You’ve probably been taught that anxiety is a bad thing. Something to eliminate, avoid, or medicate (legally or otherwise) into oblivion. But what if I told you that anxiety, in its healthiest form, is actually trying to help you? What if anxiety wasn’t the villain in your story, but a misunderstood protector showing up in a slightly over-the-top way? This week, you're going to learn how to spot the difference between anxiety that’s working for you and anxiety that’s working you over. You’ll also get science-backed tools for reframing your worry so you can stop fighting it and start using it.

____________________________

Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/anxiety-isnt-the-enemy


Download your quick quiz: Is Your Anxiety Helping or Hurting You?

https://abbymedcalf.com/anxiety-quiz


Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack.


You'll get...

✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes

✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations

✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby

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Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week! 

https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/ 

 

👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

 

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

 

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book 

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Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.


A great idea to stay motivated and keep your head in a positive direction is to buy some of my fabulous, inspirational merchandise. Get yourself a t-shirt, mug, tote bag or notebook with that daily reminder that you’ve got this! https://abbymedcalf.com/shop


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YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube



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