Relational Lives is a podcast hosted by psychotherapists Alison Bickers and Ros Peckham, exploring the ways we connect with others—and with ourselves. Each episode brings real stories into focus through thoughtful conversations with guests, weaving personal experiences with psychological insight.
With warmth, curiosity, and professional depth, Alison and Ros make therapeutic ideas accessible, alive, and relevant to daily life.
Whether you’re reflecting on your relationships, seeking to understand yourself more deeply, or simply curious about the hidden patterns that shape us all, Relational Lives offers meaningful dialogue at the intersection of story and therapy.
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In this episode of Relational Lives, couples therapist Michael Preston opens up a thoughtful conversation about the inner emotional worlds of men in relationships. He reflects on the challenges men often face when trying to connect emotionally with their partners, and how cultural expectations can shape, and sometimes limit their capacity for vulnerability. Michael discusses the role of father–son relationships, the power of emotional language, and the importance of non‑sexual touch in building closeness and safety. Throughout the conversation, he invites men to recognise their own emotional needs and highlights how seeking support can lead to deeper, more authentic connections.
00:00 Introduction to Men in Relationships
01:55 Michael's Background and Experience
02:21 Men's Emotional Connection Challenges
05:52 Understanding Men's Needs Beyond Sex
08:44 Cultural Expectations and Emotional Vulnerability
11:16 Changing Parenting Dynamics
12:39 Building Emotional Vocabulary
15:36 Accessing Inner Emotions
19:14 The Myth of Men's Emotional Expression
21:18 The Importance of Validation
26:36 Personal Experiences and Empathy
28:08 Navigating Vulnerability in a Dangerous World
31:13 The Emotional Landscape of Male Relationships
37:46 Sexual Intimacy vs. Emotional Connection
46:09 The Importance of Non-Sexual Touch
52:41 Building Emotional Vocabulary in Relationships
What did you love most?
What should we do more of (or less)?
Topics you want: Intimacy? Parenting? Any mental health topics?
Style: More casual chats? Shorter episodes? Dear Therapists?
✨ Drop us a message:
relationalives@gmail.com
Or fill in anonymously: https://forms.office.com/e/qcrCkbhPiT
✨ All past episodes are still available — go back and revisit your favourites! Subscribe for future episodes on trauma, attachment and more mental health topics. If you found this episode helpful, please like this video or share it with a friend!
✨ Disclaimer:
Please remember, this is not meant to be a replacement for personal therapy and is for information and self-reflection only.
Please reach out to an appropriate professional in your area if you feel you need individualised help.
✨ Credits:
Hosts: Alison Bickers and Ros Peckham at www.mytempo.co.uk
Music by: Stile Tree Studio
Ali's Story: Finding Myself Beyond the Eating Disorder
Episode 45
Thursday, February 26, 2026 • Duration 01:02:17
✨This episode includes discussion of eating disorders, disordered eating, and body image. It may be distressing or triggering, especially if you are currently struggling. Please take care while listening and feel free to skip this episode if you need to. If you are affected by eating difficulties, consider reaching out to a GP or mental health professional, or contacting an eating disorder support service in your area for help. ✨
In this episode of Relational Lives, Ali opens up about her deeply personal journey with an eating disorder. She traces her story back to childhood experiences of emetophobia and the cultural pressures that shaped her relationship with body image and control. Ali reflects on how her eating disorder evolved, the impact it had on her family, and her time in an adolescent mental health unit. Through her recovery, she explores the central role of community, the transformative power of good therapy, and the nourishment—both physical and emotional, that supports healing. Ali shares thoughtful insights and hope for anyone navigating similar struggles.
#EDAW2026 #eatingdisordersawareness
00:00 Introduction to Eating Disorders Awareness Week
00:45 Ali's Personal Journey with Emetophobia
03:22 Cultural Influences on Body Image and Eating Disorders
06:28 The Development of Restrictive Eating Behaviors
09:32 The Impact of Family Dynamics on Eating Disorders
12:33 Seeking Help: The Role of Medical Professionals
15:31 Admittance to a Psychiatric Adolescent Unit
18:29 Experiences in the Treatment Facility
21:33 Community and Belonging Among Peers
23:49 The Struggles of Reintegration into Family and School Life
26:42 Triggers and the Return to Restrictive Eating
Inside Social Anxiety: Understanding and Overcoming it with CBT
Episode 44
Thursday, February 19, 2026 • Duration 42:27
In this episode, psychotherapists Ali and Ros unpack the often misunderstood experience of social anxiety. They explore what social anxiety really is, how it shows up in everyday life, and why so many people are struggling with it more since the COVID pandemic. The conversation looks at the impact of technology and social media, the role of early life experiences, and how anxiety can become a self-perpetuating cycle. Ali and Ros discuss common coping strategies, why some can unintentionally keep anxiety going, and how approaches like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) can help break the pattern. Along the way, they share practical, compassionate tools for managing social anxiety, offering reassurance, insight, and hope for anyone who finds social situations challenging.
00:00 Understanding Social Anxiety
04:29 The Cycle of Anxiety and Avoidance
07:30 The Impact of Technology on Social Anxiety
10:30 Childhood Experiences and Social Anxiety
13:30 Neurodiversity and Social Anxiety
16:14 Public Speaking and Social Anxiety
21:46 Understanding Social Anxiety and Its Triggers
25:09 The Cycle of Avoidance and Anxiety
30:56 Safety Behaviours and Their Impact
34:36 Therapeutic Approaches to Social Anxiety
41:00 Practical Steps for Managing Social Anxiety
📍 Resources mentioned:
Social Anxiety Safety Behaviours: Conversation behaviours
✨ Keeping very quiet, talking softly, or giving only brief answers.
✨ Avoid talking about yourself or giving opinions.
✨ Planning and rehearsing what you might be able to talk about.
Attention and mental strategies
I’m Not Lazy, It’s ADHD: Liz’s Late Discovery
Episode 43
Thursday, February 12, 2026 • Duration 38:54
In this episode, we sit down with Liz, who has recently discovered her ADHD diagnosis and is now re-examining her life through this new understanding. Liz candidly reflects on her journey, from childhood and education to her career and relationships, revealing how ADHD has shaped her experiences in ways she’s only now beginning to see clearly.
Together, we talk about the relief and grief that can come with late diagnosis, how self-compassion becomes essential in healing old narratives, and the unique challenges of navigating ADHD alongside menopause. Liz also shares the practical strategies and tools that have helped her manage her symptoms, and we explore how technology and AI can play a supportive role.
This conversation is an honest, hopeful exploration of what it means to embrace neurodivergence later in life, and a reminder of the power of understanding and compassion, both for ourselves and others.
00:00 Understanding Adult ADHD Through Lived Experience
01:03 Recognizing ADHD Traits and Their Impact
03:33 Navigating Relationships with ADHD
04:04 Challenges in Education and Career
08:01 Emotional Unravelling and Seeking Help
09:09 The Impact of Childhood Experiences
12:08 Finding Creative Outlets
17:26 The Saboteur Within
19:25 Grounding Through Relationships and Work
20:40 Understanding Personal Struggles and ADHD
23:57 The Impact of ADHD on Relationships
27:14 Navigating Menopause and ADHD
29:26 Coping Strategies for ADHD
32:37 The Role of AI in Managing ADHD
We want to hear from you:
What did you love most? What should we do more of (or less)? Topics you want: Intimacy? Parenting? Any mental health topics? Style: More casual chats? Shorter episodes? Dear Therapists?
Drop us a message:
relationalives@gmail.com Or fill in anonymously: https://forms.office.com/e/qcrCkbhPiT
Connect with us:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/relational_lives Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/relationallives/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@relational_lives LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tempo-psychotherapy-services-33a00318/
All past episodes are still available — go back and revisit your favourites! Subscribe for future episodes on trauma, attachment and more mental health topics. If you found this episode helpful, please like this video or share it with a friend!
Disclaimer:
Please remember, this is not meant to be a replacement for personal therapy and is for information and self-reflection only.
Please reach out to an appropriate professional in your area if you feel you need individualised help.
Credits:
Hosts: Alison Bickers and Ros Peckham at www.mytempo.co.uk Music by: Stile Tree Studio
Will AI Replace Your Therapist?
Episode 42
Thursday, February 5, 2026 • Duration 31:25
In this episode of Relational Lives, Ali and Ros explore how artificial intelligence is changing the landscape of therapy, mental health, and personal relationships. From ChatGPT offering relationship and mental health advice to AI-driven emotional support tools, they discuss real-world examples, personal experiences, and insights from a listener survey. The conversation tackles the big questions: Can AI ever replace the human aspects of therapy? What are its benefits and risks for people seeking emotional help online? Ali and Ros unpack the balance between innovation and human connection, and reflect on the implications on their roles as psychotherapists.
We want to hear from you:
What did you love most?
What should we do more of (or less)?
Topics you want: Intimacy? Parenting? Any mental health topics?
Style: More casual chats? Shorter episodes? Dear Therapists?
Drop us a message:
relationalives@gmail.com
Or fill in anonymously: https://forms.office.com/e/qcrCkbhPiT
All past episodes are still available — go back and revisit your favourites! Subscribe for future episodes on trauma, attachment and more mental health topics. If you found this episode helpful, please like this video or share it with a friend!
Disclaimer:
Please remember, this is not meant to be a replacement for personal therapy and is for information and self-reflection only.
Please reach out to an appropriate professional in your area if you feel you need individualised help.
Credits:
Hosts: Alison Bickers and Ros Peckham at www.mytempo.co.uk
Music by: Stile Tree Studio
00:00 The Impact of AI on Jobs and Relationships
Finding Your Way Through Grief
Episode 41
Thursday, January 29, 2026 • Duration 35:47
In this episode of Relational Lives, hosts Ali and Ros explore the tender and universal experience of grief, the pain that accompanies the loss of those we love, whether human or animal. Together, they unpack the many faces of grief, from its emotional and physical expressions to the cultural stories that shape how we mourn. The conversation reminds us that grief is not a sign of weakness but a reflection of love, its depth often mirroring the strength of our bonds.
As the dialogue unfolds, Ali and Ros offer thoughtful perspectives on navigating grief with compassion and authenticity. They discuss how grief looks different for everyone and why it’s essential to give ourselves permission to feel, even when society encourages us to “move on.” Drawing on models like the dual process framework, they highlight the ebb and flow between loss and restoration, showing that healing is not linear but deeply human. The episode closes with gentle, practical guidance on embracing self-care and allowing grief to unfold at its own pace.
✨ Perfect for anyone interested in grief, loss, attachment, mental health, coping with grief, emotional support, bereavement, and self compassion.
00:00 Understanding Grief and Its Impact
02:37 The Physical and Emotional Experience of Grief
06:55 Navigating Grief: Personal Stories and Insights
10:28 Coping Mechanisms and Cultural Perspectives on Grief
13:30 The Non-Linear Nature of Grieving
16:48 The Role of Attachment in Grief
18:41 Understanding Self-Reliance in Grief
20:52 The Impact of Attachment Styles on Grieving
24:13 Cultural Expectations and Individual Grief
27:19 Navigating Support for Grieving Individuals
30:59 Healthy Coping Mechanisms for Grief
35:20 The Importance of Self-Compassion in Grief
Own Your Sh*t: Mastering Accountability in Relationships
Episode 40
Thursday, January 22, 2026 • Duration 30:06
In this episode, Ali and Ros explore what it really means to take accountability in relationships — or, as they put it, to “own your own shit.” They unpack how recognizing the impact of our actions and reactions can transform the way we connect with others, whether in romantic relationships, friendships, or at work. Using everyday examples — including the classic disagreement over how to load the dishwasher — the hosts reveal how small moments often reflect deeper patterns in communication and understanding.
Ali and Ros also dive into the discomfort that comes with facing our own shortcomings and the defence mechanisms that can get in the way. They remind listeners that accountability isn’t about self-blame; it’s about awareness, empathy, and learning to respond rather than react. With practical tools and honest reflection, they offer ways to break unhelpful cycles and build stronger, more supportive relationships grounded in honesty, growth, and mutual respect.
✨Perfect for anyone interested in understanding the taking of accountability, being self reflective, having better communication, relationship dynamics, and partnership.
Chapters:
00:00 The Importance of Accountability in Relationships
06:35 Understanding Impact and Self-Reflection
14:24 Defensiveness and Shame in Communication
14:33 Understanding Defensive Behaviours and Accountability
16:26 Navigating Shame and Rejection in Relationships
17:35 The Importance of Self-Reflection and Acknowledgment
20:07 Normalizing Human Imperfection and Accountability
24:24 Effective Communication and Validation in Relationships
28:14 Owning Your Defensiveness and Seeking Growth
We want to hear from you:
What did you love most? What should we do more of (or less)?
Stuck in the Sexual Standoff: Couples’ Negative Intimacy Cycle
Episode 39
Thursday, January 15, 2026 • Duration 31:02
In this episode, Ali and Ros unpack the connections between the sexual cycle and the relational cycle, offering insights into how emotional and physical intimacy mirror one another. They explore the distinction between responsive and spontaneous desire, how attachment patterns influence sexual connection, and why communication is at the heart of a satisfying sexual relationship. The discussion also touches on cultural expectations around sex, the challenges of mismatched desire, and how understanding each partner’s experience can help couples build renewed closeness and vitality in their relationship.
02:53 Understanding the Dynamics of the Sexual Cycle
05:39 Responsive vs. Spontaneous Desire
08:33 The Role of Emotional Connection in Sexual Intimacy
11:16 Exploring the Cycle of Desire and Rejection
13:55 The Impact of Attachment Styles on Sexual Relationships
16:35 Influences on Sexual Dynamics
19:30 Addressing Sexual Trauma and Its Effects
22:15 Navigating Health and Aging in Sexual Relationships
25:14 The Importance of Communication in Sexual Cycles
27:58 Conclusion and Future Discussions
Sharing the Load: rethinking responsibility dynamics in your relationship
Episode 38
Thursday, January 8, 2026 • Duration 36:53
In this episode, Ali and Ros unpack the mental load in relationships – the invisible emotional labour of planning, organizing, and remembering that often falls on one partner. They explore how this uneven cognitive and emotional load creates resentment, burnout, and feelings of inadequacy, while the other partner may feel criticised, confused, or like they can never get it right.
Ali and Ros look at how relationship dynamics, communication styles, gender roles, and family and cultural backgrounds shape who carries the mental load at home. They invite listeners to recognise common patterns in couples – the over-functioning partner who “keeps everything in their head” and the under-functioning partner who waits to be asked – and how these cycles keep both people stuck.
The conversation offers practical, therapist-informed strategies for sharing the load more fairly, improving communication in couples, and making the invisible work visible. Ali and Ros also encourage couples to use 2026 as a turning point to reset expectations, build healthier boundaries, and create more balanced, sustainable partnerships.
Chapters
00:00 Introduction to Sharing the Load in Relationships
01:31 Understanding the Mental Load
04:55 The Dynamics of Carrying the Load
09:28 The Impact on the Non-Load Carrier
10:34 Exploring the Negative Cycle
17:35 The Long-Term Effects of the Cycle
18:14 The Shift from Adult to Parent-Child Dynamics
19:35 Influences on Relationship Dynamics
21:25 Understanding ADHD and Task Management
22:30 The Impact of Upbringing on Responsibility
25:00 Anxiety and Performance in Relationships
26:51 Life Events and Relationship Dynamics
The Real Talk Episode: Reflecting and Repairing
Episode 37
Thursday, November 13, 2025 • Duration 46:57
Join Ali and Ros for a raw, heartfelt, and unscripted conversation as they look back on eight months and over 30 episodes of Relational Lives. In this special episode, the hosts pull back the curtain on their journey — from the shock of going viral on Shut Up & Talking (160,000+ views!) to building a podcast from scratch, all while navigating friendship, vulnerability, and the realities of being two women in their 50s in the digital world.
They reflect on standout guests (like Caz’s powerful journey to embracing single life), explore how recording together has triggered old patterns, and share the moment one host bravely called out a “pedestal” dynamic — and how they repaired it. With warmth and honesty, they discuss what’s worked, what hasn’t, and why they’re pausing the podcast to regroup, recharge, and listen to YOU.
This isn’t just a recap, it’s a real conversation about growth, repair, and walking the talk of relational therapy.
Plus, they’re asking:
What did YOU love? What should we do more of? Less of?
(Sex and intimacy? More casual chats? Bring back “Would You Rather”?) Your feedback will shape Season 3.
Timestamps
00:00 – Welcome: Why This Episode Feels Different
00:30 – From Zero to 30: How It All Began
01:00 – The Viral Moment: Shut Up & Talking (160K Views!)
01:49 – The Younger Generation’s Mental Health Awareness
02:49 – 30+ Episodes in 8 Months: The Numbers
03:26 – Being 50+ in a Gen Z Podcast World
04:05 – “Mum, I wouldn’t watch you because of your age”
05:11 – Caz’s Story: Losing Yourself in Relationships
06:20 – Other Guests That Moved Us
07:30 – When Friendship Meets Therapy: The Pedestal Moment
40:57 – Calling It Out: Courage & Repair
41:43 – “The trouble with pedestals…”
42:54 – Catching Triggers Early: Walking the Talk
43:50 – Why We’re Pausing: Regroup, Recharge, Listen
44:19 – What’s Next? Sex, Intimacy & Your Ideas
45:11 – Feedback Wanted: More Chats? More Guests?
45:58 – Bring Back “Would You Rather”?
46:23 – Thank You & See You in Season 3
We Want to Hear From You What did you love most?
What should we do more of (or less)?
Topics you want: Sex? Intimacy? Parenting?
Style: More casual chats? Shorter episodes?
Drop us a message: relationalives@gmail.com
Or fill in anonymously: https://forms.office.com/e/qcrCkbhPiT
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What did you love most?
What should we do more of (or less)?
Topics you want: Intimacy? Parenting? Any mental health topics?
Style: More casual chats? Shorter episodes? Dear Therapists?
Drop us a message:
relationalives@gmail.com
Or fill in anonymously: https://forms.office.com/e/qcrCkbhPiT
All past episodes are still available — go back and revisit your favourites! Subscribe for future episodes on trauma, attachment and more mental health topics. If you found this episode helpful, please like this video or share it with a friend!
Disclaimer:
Please remember, this is not meant to be a replacement for personal therapy and is for information and self-reflection only.
Please reach out to an appropriate professional in your area if you feel you need individualised help.
Credits:
Hosts: Alison Bickers and Ros Peckham at www.mytempo.co.uk
Music by: Stile Tree Studio
56:37 Final Thoughts: Seeking Help and Support
✨ Focusing intensely on yourself (how you look, sound, or feel) as you talk.
✨ Having excuses ready so you can leave early if anxiety rises.
✨ Suppressing anxious thoughts or images, or silently repeating reassuring phrases.
Positioning and participation
✨ Standing or sitting on the edge or at the back of a group/room.
✨ Staying close to one safe person at social events.
✨ Taking on a “busy” role (in the kitchen, behind the scenes, on tech) to avoid direct interaction.
✨ Interacting with a pet instead of engaging in conversation.
✨ Choosing quiet times or less crowded places to go out.
Eye contact and body language
✨ Avoiding or minimising eye contact.
✨ Holding objects tightly (cups, bags, papers) to hide shaking or to feel steadier.
✨ Fidgeting with phones, keys, or other items to look busy and unapproachable.
✨ Use of phones, devices, and props
✨ Frequently checking or using a phone during social situations.
✨ Wearing headphones or appearing engrossed in a screen to limit interaction.
✨ Keeping a drink, bag, or notes in hand as a “shield” or distraction.
Appearance and hiding physical symptoms
✨ Wearing certain clothes (layers, long sleeves, dark colours) to hide sweating or shaking.
✨Using makeup to conceal blushing or other visible signs of anxiety. S
Substances and situational avoidance
✨ Using alcohol or other substances to relax.
✨ Avoiding caffeine, exercise, warm rooms, or spicy foods to prevent anxiety like sensations.
✨ Limiting or declining invitations to many social events (partial avoidance rather than total).
Reassurance and checking
✨ Asking others for repeated reassurance about how you came across (“Did I sound stupid?”).
✨ Replaying conversations afterwards to check for mistakes or signs of humiliation.
✨ Practising or overpreparing for routine social tasks (emails, phone calls, meetings) to avoid possible errors.
We want to hear from you:
What did you love most?
What should we do more of (or less)?
Topics you want: Intimacy? Parenting? Any mental health topics?
Style: More casual chats? Shorter episodes? Dear Therapists?
Drop us a message:
relationalives@gmail.com
Or fill in anonymously: https://forms.office.com/e/qcrCkbhPiT
All past episodes are still available — go back and revisit your favourites! Subscribe for future episodes on trauma, attachment and more mental health topics. If you found this episode helpful, please like this video or share it with a friend!
Disclaimer:
Please remember, this is not meant to be a replacement for personal therapy and is for information and self-reflection only.
Please reach out to an appropriate professional in your area if you feel you need individualised help.
Credits:
Hosts: Alison Bickers and Ros Peckham at www.mytempo.co.uk
Music by: Stile Tree Studio
04:55 Survey Insights on AI Usage
09:37 AI in Personal Problem Solving
13:09 The Limitations of AI in Therapy
16:06 Introduction to AI in Personal Relationships
18:29 Personal Experiences with AI Support
22:08 Concerns About AI and Vulnerability
25:41 AI vs. Human Therapy: A Comparative Analysis
All past episodes are still available — go back and revisit your favourites! Subscribe for future episodes on trauma, attachment and more mental health topics. If you found this episode helpful, please like this video or share it with a friend.
Disclaimer: Please remember, this is not meant to be a replacement for personal therapy and is for information and self-reflection only. Please reach out to an appropriate professional in your area if you feel you need individualised help.
All past episodes are still available — go back and revisit your favourites! Subscribe for future episodes on trauma, attachment and more mental health topics. If you found this episode helpful, please like this video or share it with a friend!
Disclaimer:
Please remember, this is not meant to be a replacement for personal therapy and is for information and self-reflection only. Please reach out to an appropriate professional in your area if you feel you need individualised help.
What did you love most?
What should we do more of (or less)?
Topics you want: Intimacy? Parenting? Any mental health topics?
Style: More casual chats? Shorter episodes? Dear Therapists?
Drop us a message: relationalives@gmail.com
Or fill in anonymously: https://forms.office.com/e/qcrCkbhPiT
All past episodes are still available — go back and revisit your favourites! Subscribe so you don’t miss Season 3. If this episode resonated, please like, share, and tell a friend.
Disclaimer
Please remember, this is not meant to be a replacement for personal therapy and is for information and self-reflection only.
Please reach out to an appropriate professional in your area if you feel you need individualised help.
Credits
Hosts: Alison Bickers and Ros Peckham at www.mytempo.co.uk
Music by: Stile Tree Studio
28:06 Understanding the Cycle of Conflict
30:33 Exploring Internal and External Dynamics
33:17 Challenging Expectations and Finding Solutions
36:02 From Carrying to Sharing the Load
Want to share your story or come on the show to discuss your dilemma? Write to us and we might cover it in a future episode.
We’d also love to hear updates if you’ve written in before.
Subscribe for future episodes on trauma, attachment and more mental health topics.
If you found this episode helpful, please like this video or share it with a friend.
Disclaimer: Please remember, this is not meant to be a replacement for personal therapy and is for information and self-reflection only. Please reach out to an appropriate professional in your area if you feel you need individualised help.
Connect with us Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/relational_lives
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/relationallives/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@relational_lives
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tempo-psychotherapy-services-33a00318/
All past episodes are still available — go back and revisit your favourites! Subscribe so you don’t miss Season 3. If this episode resonated, please like, share, and tell a friend.
Disclaimer
Please remember, this is not meant to be a replacement for personal therapy and is for information and self-reflection only.
Please reach out to an appropriate professional in your area if you feel you need individualised help.
Credits Hosts: Alison Bickers and Ros Peckham at www.mytempo.co.uk
Music by: Stile Tree Studio
Produced by: Synergy Podcast Studio (Thanks, Paul!)
