Explore every episode of the podcast Recovery Elevator
| Title | Pub. Date | Duration | |
|---|---|---|---|
| RE 497: I Can't - You Can - Take it | 26 Aug 2024 | 00:48:40 | |
Episode 497 – I Can't – You Can – Take It
Today we have Shelby. She is 38 years old and from Windsor Ontario. She took her last drink on December 23rd, 2023.
Sponsors for this episode:
Visit Better Help today to get 10% off your first month
Visit Exact Nature use code RE20 to save 20% off of your order
[04:10] Thoughts from Paul:
Paul seeks to soften the entry point to AA and simplify the first three steps. For many the steps are intimidating. They are nebulous, part dogmatic and for some there are simply too many God or higher power references. But the do make it clear many times that this God (higher power) is of your understanding. You can even use a red stapler as your higher power – they will fully support you.
The first three steps of AA: 1) We admitted we are powerless over alcohol 2) We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity 3) We decided to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him.
Which can be broken down to: 1) I can't 2) You can 3) Take it
Paul says he feels the most powerful part of AA isn't the God stuff, it's the group. The group is always stronger than the individual.
I can't, the group can. Here you go. I'll see you all again tomorrow.
[10:18] Paul introduces Shelby:
Shelby is 38 years old, lives in Windsor Ontario and works for a car manufacturer on the assembly line. For fun Shelby enjoys all sports, camping and hiking.
In high school Shelby was very athletic. When she was 15, she decided to focus on hockey and made it onto a junior team. She learned about hockey culture and part of that is drinking and partying. Due to traveling and playing hockey Shelby didn't have time to drink much during high school. While attending a development camp for hockey, Shelby had an injury that put her on the side lines. Throughout her time at Ohio State, doctors would tell her she was fine as she continued to suffer injuries that eventually required surgery. Shelby had dreamed of going to the Olympics and never considered she might not be able to.
She left school early and felt like a failure. Shelby knew her drinking was already an issue, and she needed a change of scenery. Shelby says she didn't have an identity outside of being an athlete. Alcohol and being social became a distraction for her and she avoided playing hockey for a long time.
The older she got; the more Shelby didn't feel like she had accomplished anything. Life after being an athlete was tough for her. Around 30 years old she realized she needed to make some healthy changes. She accepted an offer to play hockey with some friends and ended up getting coaching opportunities afterwards. She decided to do it and since she was getting back in shape, she decided to quit drinking for three months which led to almost two years.
After losing a close uncle, Shelby drank after his funeral. She continued to drink for a few years and tried using moderation techniques. At an alumni game, she was not able to play due to an unhealed injury. She showed up drunk and ended up losing her coaching job. After this she decided to quit drinking again.
Since quitting this time around, Shelby has started attending therapy. This has helped her uncover some of her issues. She does not care for AA and says in the beginning it was hard doing things that she used to do while drinking. Shelby deals with cravings by going for walks, listening to podcasts and using her quit drinking app. She enjoys doing things that she missed out on when she was younger. Shelby also looks forward to trying new things and traveling. Her clarity is so much better, and she loves that she knows she can make plans and keep them.
Shelby's parting piece of guidance: start today and start small and take it slow.
Recovery Elevator We took the elevator down; we have to take the stairs back up. I love you guys. We can do this.
| |||
| RE 496: One Way Street | 19 Aug 2024 | 00:58:16 | |
Episode 496 – One Way Street
Today we have James. He is 40 years old and lives in Melbourne, Australia. He took his last drink on November 20th, 2023.
Sponsors for this episode:
Visit Better Help today to get 10% off your first month
Visit Exact Nature use code RE20 to save 20% off of your order
[04:16] Thoughts from Paul:
The Paris Olympic Committee opted to not sell alcohol. They were confident that they could have successfully applied to sell alcohol but still decided not to. In an article from NBC News, it mentioned the following: "While many people enjoy a casual drink, that's not always the case. According to estimates by the French Public Health Society, 49,000 people are killed a year by alcohol consumption, which also causes 120 billion euros in damages." Them choosing not to sell alcohol proves that things are changing around the globe regarding alcohol consumption.
Expanding on the topic of staying the course from last week's episode, Paul shares that sobriety is a one-way street. He has yet to hear a story where someone with alcohol-free has gone back to drinking and was happy with the decision.
The common theme when it comes to what drove them back to alcohol was that they drifted from the AF community and attended less meetings or stopped altogether. They second part of this is they all said it was not a pleasant experience and many ended up right back where they were.
Do not beat yourself if you do some field research. We often need those reminders to reinforce internally that you made the right decision. Paul says he hasn't met a single person who said they made the wrong choice when they decided to choose an alcohol-free life.
[11:03] Kris introduces James:
James lives in a rural area south of Melbourne, Australia. He is married with two kids, enjoys going to the gym and recently started playing football again.
James says he had a normal upbringing. He put a lot of pressure on himself and felt like he was always being watched. Alcohol entered his life when he was around 14 and drinking helped him turn things off as an escape and he felt freedom.
At 18, James moved out of his parent's home with some older friends and was drinking on extended weekends but still very functional. When he was 20, he ended up moving to London where he felt complete freedom to do whatever he wanted, including living in a pub. James continued the weekend binge drinking with very little consequence.
After moving back to Australia in his late 20's, James started a successful business and met the woman who is now his wife. Over time his feelings of not being "good enough" in many areas of his life were very stressful and found James drinking more to self-medicate and disconnect.
Towards the end of his drinking, James says he and his wife were very disconnected. He was acting out and taking a lot of risks. After confronting him one day, James told her his life was a mess and she told him it was either rehab or leaving. James opted for the easier option of leaving and chose an Airbnb close to a pub where he could drink and gamble. After a few days of this bender, his wife showed up and lovingly took him home. He started doing research but was scared to commit to inpatient care due to running his business.
James eventually found an outpatient treatment that would suit him. He has been alcohol-free ever since. Working on his connections with his family is something James is really proud of. He looks forward to doing the step work with his sponsor in AA and growing stronger spiritually.
James' biggest fear around quitting: feeling his feelings and having to digest them.
James' favorite resources in recovery: Recovery Elevator podcast and a book with spiritual principles for each day that he can meditate on.
James' parting piece of guidance: Stick to it, keep showing up day by day and the magic happens down the track.
We are the only ones that can do this RE, but we don't have to do it alone. I love you guys.
| |||
| RE 487: How Would You Walk? | 17 Jun 2024 | 00:45:46 | |
Episode 487 – How Would You Walk?
Today we have Sarah. She is 45 and lives in Indiana. She took her last drink on December 31st, 2022.
Let's talk AF International travel with Recovery Elevator. We've got some incredible trips in the works. We're going to Vietnam for 12 days in January 2025. Then Back to Costa Rica for our 4th trip to the Blue Zone in April 2025, and then, we're going back to Peru in October 2025 where we're going to the Inca Trail and work with Non-profit Peruvian Hearts again.
[02:42] Thoughts from Paul:
The World Heart Federation published a policy brief in 2022 staying there is "no level of alcohol consumption that is safe for health." There was and still is a collective belief that alcohol is good for you. This is especially prominent in the wine culture.
The paradigm is slowly cracking which is a huge step in the right direction. When Paul started Recovery Elevator in 2015, you couldn't find that line anywhere. It was almost customary to see a line that says something like "studies show moderate alcohol consumption can improve heart health and longevity". Today the tides are turning and a narrative that alcohol can wreck your world (aka, the truth) is emerging. People are waking up to the lies that Big Alcohol has sold us.
Check out this recent article about a new phenomenon called BORGS explains what these are and then follows it up with the snippet about alcohol being shit.
[09:18] Paul introduces Sarah:
Sarah is 45 and lives in Indiana. She is married with two kids and works in marketing. When she isn't running the kids to their practices and games, she enjoys exercising, reading and backpacking.
Sarah parents divorced when she was 11 and she grew up with her mother who she was very close with. She doesn't recall alcohol being very present in their lives. Sarah didn't drink much in high school but in college and into her 20s, everything she and her friends did involved alcohol. She always knew her drinking looked a little different than everyone else's, but didn't identify it as a problem.
When Sarah was 35, her mother was diagnosed with brain cancer. Sarah quit working so that she could care for her mother through the diagnosis. Her drinking increased as she dealt with being a caretaker, having a family in addition to not working.
After her mother died four years later, Sarah says she did not know how to deal with life. She would drink into a blackout almost daily and was stuck in the cycle of wanting to quit but not being able to. Sarah began to worry that it might not be possible for her and worried that she would disappoint her mother if she wasn't able to quit.
In time, Sarah found sober podcasts and tried medications to help. She says Antabuse worked, but she would stop taking it in order to drink. No one knew she was taking it to try and quit and Sarah feels that by not sharing, she always left the door open to drink again.
Sarah knew something had to change and decided to come clean with her husband. Being active in the Café RE community helped Sarah gain the courage to choose a quit date and write a letter to her husband letting him know what was going on. Sarah says she received a lot of support from him.
After the physical withdrawals, Sarah felt hopeful. As the months went on, she protected her sobriety by avoiding situations where there was drinking, and she began to gain more confidence. Sarah says that when she has thoughts of drinking, she does chooses to put her energy into her sober resources instead.
Sarah's best sober moment: experiencing the Northern Lights with her son
Sarah's parting piece of guidance: never quit quitting.
[41:14] Outro:
Paul invites listeners to answer some questions not with words in their minds, but in how they carry themselves. How would you walk if…….?
Café RE – promo code OPPORTUNITY waives set up fee.
Recovery Elevator Go big, because eventually we'll all go home. I love you guys. | |||
| RE 398: This Moment Always Wins | 03 Oct 2022 | 01:00:00 | |
Episode 398 - This Moment Always Wins
Today we have Adam. He is 30, from Vancouver, and took his last drink on February 8, 2013.
We have many upcoming events:
Costa Rica For Info: https://www.recoveryelevator.com/events/
Highlights from Paul
Paul celebrated his eight-year recovery milestone and is thankful for all the support he gets from listeners, family, friends, and the Café RE community.
Paul's insights include: alcohol is sh!t; addiction is an invitation to make a sweeping change in your life; burning the ships is part of the journey; the opposite of addiction is connection; focus on the wins; admit you are wrong when you need to, in real-time; you have to take action; don't worry about the sobriety clock, keep doing the work; join the party - the AF movement is taking off; be kind to others, help others; be of service; leverage your drinking problem to expand your life; be mindful of the company you keep; there is nothing wrong with you; not drinking makes you a bad-ass;
Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored
[13:26] Adam has been sober for nearly ten years. He is a personal trainer, nutritionist, breathwork therapist, mental health, and sober coach. He loves cold plunges, spending time in nature, traveling, and spending time with his dogs.
Adam grew up in Vancouver and was exposed to addiction early on. He was bullied a lot in high school, which led to anxiety, depression, and insecurity. He was 13 the first time he drank or smoked weed. He knew it wasn't smart, but it gave him a sense of community. With a long family history of alcohol abuse, Adam knew he was in trouble the first time he drank.
Adam got his apartment and car at age 15. He made poor decisions, including steroids, drinking, cocaine, being in a gang, and smoking. After a death threat, he moved to another province, got a job, and his drug use escalated. He sold drugs, and it was attractive to him at the time. He was stabbed during a fight. At 16, a buddy of his died in his arms. Steroid use caused Adam to default to anger frequently. He was aggressive. Adam said it took at least ten wake-up calls before he was ready to address his addiction. He was exposed to a lot of violence and death with the people he spent time with. At 19, during a drug deal, he was kidnapped and held captive by some bad people. During that incident, he had an out-of-body experience. When he was released, he was hospitalized. He crashed when in the hospital. A spiritual awakening occurred for Adam. Adam described it as powerful, and it continues to inspire him to live a better life. The last time he used it was on his 21st birthday. He called his Mom, and she let him come home.
The first two years of sobriety were the hardest for Adam. He had lots of PTSD from his gang experience. He had two suicide attempts. Adam went to his first AA meeting. A person said to him, "If you kill yourself today, you are killing the wrong person because you don't know the person who you can become." Breathwork became a big part of his recovery. Learning to accept and demonstrate his emotions was challenging, but Adam continues to learn to manage his feelings. He worked the steps. He saw a psychologist/neurologist and was diagnosed with severe brain injury, PTSD, anxiety, and depression. None of the medications helped. Breathwork and exercise help him manage his anxiety and depression.
[57:50] Kris' Summary
After a rough week, Kris remembered, "you don't have to get sober for the rest of your life today." Trust the process.
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
Recovery Elevator- We are the only ones who can do this, but you don't have to do it alone. I love you guys. | |||
| RE 397: The Ultimate Connection | 26 Sep 2022 | 00:58:32 | |
Episode 397 - The Ultimate Connection
Today we have Santino. He is 43, from Massachusetts, and took his last drink 43 days ago.
We have many upcoming events:
AF Photo Class Restore Regionals Ukulele Costa Rica For Info: https://www.recoveryelevator.com/events/
Highlights from Paul
Paul shares that our actions are felt for seven generations in our lineage. When you quit drinking, do the inner work, the ripple effect can last 150 years.
Eckhart Tolle defines love as recognizing oneness in a world of duality. The ego craves separation, judgements. When we are drinking, we are reinforcing that divide. The worst side effect of alcohol is isolation. But when we drop the bottle, we give ourselves a chance to find love, or maybe let love find us.
Congratulations Dusty and Lotus on your recent nuptials.
Love yourself and love yourself first. Love in recovery can be rediscovering nature, it can be planting a garden, it can be zipping around on a one wheel, it can be learning a new instrument, picking up an old instrument. It can be laughter.
Make sure to stay tuned to the end of the episode. Our outro music is from one of our Café Re members, Ron.
Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored
[9:50] Santino works for a nonprofit homeless organization; he is married with a son and enjoys being a father.
Being present, in the moment and the ability to remember the moment are the early perks of sobriety for Santino. His first taste of alcohol was at age 10. He took a sip of his Dad's drink and enjoyed the taste.
Paul and Santino discussed how college culture and military culture both celebrate drinking. Santino said his drinking was normalized because of the culture of drinking in the military. His wake up calls around drinking came when he left the military. He got his first DWI and went to court ordered AA. He drank before and after the meetings.
Santino noticed a pattern of lying, about all kinds of things, but particularly about what he was drinking, when and how much. AA is now part of his life. He has learned to say "alcoholic" to be accountable for what was happening with him. He is well informed about withdrawal and his most recent experience was painful and a reckoning. Santino encourages listeners to be honest with themselves. Give yourself grace AND accountability. He did a 72 hour fast. He listens to the Recovery Elevator podcast. He burned the ships with his childhood friend, his sister and his wife.
The Uvalde shooting had a major impact on Santino and became an impetus for him to quit drinking.
[55:20] Paul's Summary
Paul introduces Ron who is a musician who wrote and performed today's outro music.
[56:51] We walk each other home.
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
Recovery Elevator- We took the elevator down. We need to take the stairs back up. I love you guys. | |||
| RE 396: The Brain and Alcohol | Genetic Predisposition | 19 Sep 2022 | 01:00:49 | |
Episode 396 - The Brain and Alcohol – Genetic Predisposition
Today we have Rene. He is 33, from California, and took his last drink January 18, 2022.
Register for RE's AF Photo Class: https://www.recoveryelevator.com/afphoto/
SoberLink: https://www.soberlink.com/recovery-elevator
Highlights from Paul
Alcohol has many biochemical and neurochemical effects on the brain. There are dramatic changes in the neurons that control the release of serotonin when we consume alcohol. Serotonin is the feel-good chemical and 80% of it is created in the gut. When we mix alcohol and serotonin it gets converted into acetaldehyde. This acetaldehyde acts as a toxin.
Alcohol changes the relationship between the hypothalamus, the pituitary gland, and the adrenals. The adrenals release chemicals called epinephrine and cortisol, which are involved in the longer-term stress response.
People who consistently drink are more stressed out at baseline. They have more cortisol released form their adrenal glands even when they are not drinking. Consequently, they feel more stressed and more anxiety when they are not drinking. Many scientists agree that stress is the number one contributor to disease.
When we overload the brain with alcohol, it's almost too much to process and the activity of neurons in the hippocampus, which is involved with memory formation, are strained and then they completely shut off – that is a blackout. You can still be functioning, some high functioning, but the memory forming part of your brain, the hippocampus, clocks out.
Many believe that alcoholism is hereditary. Recent studies, including one of twins conducted by Dr. Gabor Mate indicate genetics may not be as much of a contributor as we once thought. Epigenetics indicate that environment influences gene expression and gene mutations. Science is beginning to accept that environmental factors cause or influence addictions. The ten-fold increase in alcoholism supports that theory.
Dr. Andrew Huberman's podcast provides much more detail on the science behind many of these theories. Take a listen if you would like to learn more: https://open.spotify.com/episode/2ebY3WNejLNbK47emgjd1E?si=bf71f9f038bc4826
Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored
[14:37] Rene has been sober for over six months. He is 34 and a single Dad He is an entrepreneur and enjoys going to the gym, exploring the outdoors, hiking and the beach.
Rene is first generation American, and his family is very supportive. He grew up around drinking, it was normalized.
He got drunk once during his senior year of high school. He didn't drink again until after he broke up with his first girlfriend years later. Drinking became a reward, then it became a daily habit. Working in the restaurant industry, drinking was expected. He was fired once for drinking.
It didn't occur to Rene that drinking was a problem. He began counseling and the counselor recommended AA. Rene found it easy to see the similarities; he felt like he found his people. He was planning to join the military when he learned he was about to become a father. Eventually, he won sole custody of his daughter which dashed his hopes of joining the military. The combination of issues sent him back to drinking. He controlled his drinking for over a year, and it worked until it didn't.
Rene went back to AA and got a sponsor and a fitness coach. Consistency helps him maintain his sobriety. He is feeling mentally and physically strong.
[57:35] Kris's Summary
Seasonal shifts can put you on edge. Share your experience: kris@recoveryelevator.com.
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
Recovery Elevator- We took the elevator down. We need to take the stairs back up. I love you guys. | |||
| RE 395: Can You Have Fun Without Alcohol? | 12 Sep 2022 | 00:54:25 | |
Episode 395 - Can you have fun without alcohol?
Today we have Jim. He is 50, from New York, and has been sober since June 19, 2022.
Curious Elixirs: https://curiouselixirs.com/
Highlights from Paul
Paul and our listeners would like to hear from prior podcast guests. Please send us a note (approximately 200 words) to let us know how you are doing. We would love an update on your sobriety journey. Email: info@recoveryelevator.com
Yes! You can have fun without alcohol. Paul just finished hosting the Bozeman retreat, and it was FUN. One of the highlights was an ecstatic dance party. Imagine 60ish sober people dancing on a basketball court in the afternoon. There was also a silent dance party on the last night. Paul loved watching and participating in pure joy and fun.
Sober fun is a learned skill, but it's worth it. You learn to have fun without an external substance. Life is like a movie. Consider yourself the director. You can guide or nudge it any way you want. Leave room for other actors in your life and let them act their way. It makes the experience rich. If you are not having fun, check your inner narrative. At times we let external rules guide us when we have fun. Forget those rules and have fun now.
Stay tuned to the end for a poem written by one of our listeners, and today's outro music was written and performed by Michael P, a member of Café RE.
Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored
[10:02] Jim has been sober for two weeks. He had almost two years and drank, and now he is back on track. He's had 699 sober days in the last 700. Jim is married with two kids and loves reading on his front porch.
Jim attributes his recent field research to not using his tools.
Growing up, Jim drank in high school with his buddies. The quest for beer was their primary goal. College was more of the same. After college, it didn't feel as good. Drinking is part of his work culture and was celebrated. His first attempt at sobriety was at age 25. He stayed sober for three months, then returned to drinking. It was part of his job, his social circles, and his life always included drinking. Alcohol pushed back his fears.
In his early 40s, he started to realize he had a problem but didn't know how to go about quitting. He didn't love AA. By 45, he knew his drinking had become unsustainable. Drinking was like a low-grade hum that perpetually played for him. He began drinking alone at home, where nobody would bother him, and he could drink like he wanted.
Gradually he began exploring sobriety. He would accumulate a few months and do more field research. He read "This Naked Mind." When the pandemic hit, he decided to make more efforts to maintain sobriety. He joined Café RE in July of 2020, which was his turning point. Earlier this year, he started traveling more for work. He now realizes he stopped using his tools, including Café RE. He only drank for one day. It was scary; he was a wreck and knew he couldn't do this anymore.
Jim writes every day. It helps him get the thoughts out of his head and on paper.
[49:33] Paul's Summary
Paul reads a poem, "Connection," by Kelley A, Café RE Go Group.
[51:05] Outro Music, The Light Inside, by Michael P.
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
Recovery Elevator- We are the only ones who can do this, but we don't have to do it alone. I love you guys. | |||
| RE 394: Fixin' to Grow | 05 Sep 2022 | 01:00:24 | |
Episode 394 - Fixin' to Grow
Today we have Kristie. She is 47, from Michigan, and has been sober since May 2020.
Ditch the Booze/Mindfulness and AF Photography 101: https://www.recoveryelevator.com/cafere/
Highlights from Kris
Return to school is here and is the catalyst for conversations about expectations. Growing up, the letter on the report card was the measure of success. Kris has begun to consider praising the work instead of the result.
Neuroscientists have identified two different mindsets: the fixed mindset and the growth mindset. A fixed mindset looks at intelligence as static. The effort is pointless – you've got it, or you don't. It's all about the result. The growth mindset is more about a learning goal. The effort is seen as a path to mastery.
What is your goal in recovery? Language matters. Think about the metrics. If you are fixed on being alcohol-free and have a slip, you might feel like a failure. Embrace the growth in yourself and let that be enough.
Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored
[11:29] Kristie has been surise for two years. The word sober doesn't resonate with Kristy. She wants to be fun and exciting and enjoy every moment. Kristie believes that language creates our reality. Through journaling, she came up with the word surise – it brings her energy, light, and love. Kristie believes surise is yours – the opportunity to be your authentic self.
Kristie is from West Michigan and is an academic advisor. She is married and has two daughters. She loves traveling, the beach, the woods, nature, and connecting with people.
Growing up, her parents rarely drank, but they did smoke. After her parents' divorce, she assumed much responsibility for her younger brothers. She was the conduit between her parents. She was involved in theater, student government, and dancing.
Kristie went to college and was ready to rescind the role of the responsible oldest child. Earning a degree was essential to Kristie. She went to school and partied and enjoyed drinking and being social. She adopted the work hard, play hard mentality and always drank to get a buzz. She put herself into some risky situations and was raped. Alcohol helped numb the pain, and she learned to carry on.
Kristie met her husband in college, and drinking was part of their relationship. Drinking was a coping mechanism for the stress of parenting. Over the years, her drinking progressed from beer to wine to vodka. After her father died, Kristie's drinking became very dark. Drinking was a reward, a way to avoid loneliness, and it served many purposes.
Several years ago, Kristie's husband announced that he was planning to quit drinking. He did, and she couldn't follow suit. After her father-in-law died, they were both drinking again and went backward. Kristie read "This Naked Mind" and listened to Annie Grace's podcast. Paul Churchill was Annie's guest, and something clicked for Kristie. She could hear herself in other people's stories. She joined Café RE in 2020 and went to her first women's AA meeting. She quit drinking for several months and returned to drinking when the pandemic began. In May of '20, she found a small group of RE members all over the US, and they held each other accountable.
Kris's Summary
Look at your mindset. Ask yourself without judgment, are you holding on to absolutes? What is your measure of success? Do you find joy in the results or the process? Wherever you are is okay. Show yourself grace. Change the narrative. Surrender to the process. Let go of old ideas.
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
Recovery Elevator- We are the only ones who can do this, but we don't have to do it alone. I love you guys. | |||
| RE 393: Hello Listeners | 29 Aug 2022 | 00:56:43 | |
Episode 393 - Hello Listeners
Today we have Alina. She is 32, from Northern California, and has been sober since June 20, 2022.
Fire Brew: https://www.drinkfirebrew.com/ Ditch the Booze/Mindfulness: https://www.recoveryelevator.com/cafere/
Highlights from Paul
If you are in a cycle of continuous Day ones, keep showing up and listening to the podcast. We believe in you.
If you have quit drinking, don't forget incredible short memory can get us any time. Don't look back. That old way of life didn't work. Keep building the new.
If you are a normal drinker here to support someone, we are glad you are here. The opposite of addiction is connection, and we appreciate your support. The healing process is a collaborative effort that requires both parties to come together.
If you are in your teens or twenties, you are learning vital lessons and building resilience. When the dust settles, and your normal drinker friends begin to phase out of the party years as they marry and have kids, you will have acquired unique life skills that your friends don't have. Your unique skills revolve around presence, listening to your intuition, taking life as it comes, loving yourself and others. You're more grounded. Your roots go deeper. Also, be patient. I think it's harder to quit drinking at a younger age, but with time, and each year around the sun, some of those challenges get easier. Time is working in your favor.
If you treat or support someone who struggles with, what is addiction? Addictions are adaptive behaviors leveraged to survive in unhealthy environments. Addictions are present when something is out of balance or not in harmony with our environment.
Keep the thinking mind in check. The mind has 60,00-70,000 thoughts per day, and science has shown that most of them are not valid. Keep doing the inner work, find your people, and show the world how it's done.
Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored
[13:04] Alina has been sober for two weeks. She has three kids, loves being outside, cooking, and reading. She immigrated to the US from Ukraine, is the youngest of seven, and had her first drink at age 16. Growing up, she had the impression that an alcoholic was someone who drank every day.
In 2018, Alina had her first blackout. She resolved to do something different. She listened to "This Naked Mind" by Annie Grace. Moderation never worked. During the pandemic, Alina went on vacation to Mexico and drank daily. Alina continued to learn about recovery, and she learned to see the similarities in other people's stories. She is an active member of Café RE and enjoys the chats.
Paul's Summary
Listeners, stick together. Choose love over fear. Choose peace over being right. If the conditions are right, we bloom as a species. If the conditions aren't right, we don't. Humans are so close to blooming on a large scale, and addiction is fast-forwarding this process. Addiction forces us to surrender, open up, and say yes to the flow of life.
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
Recovery Elevator- Lighten Up. I love you guys. | |||
| RE 392: One Week Without Alcohol | 22 Aug 2022 | 01:02:35 | |
Episode 392 - One Week Without Alcohol.
Today we have Megan. She is 34, from Florida, and has been sober since June 22, 2021.
Gruvi: https://www.getgruvi.com/
Highlights from Paul
Stacking days, which is a day here, and a couple of days there, is fantastic, but your body and mind will respond faster to continuous sobriety, and I think a week is the most doable chunk of time. I know for me, even 30 days was overwhelming.
Day 1: Drink water, then more water. Eat at least one full, healthy meal. Your body is detoxing today. Anxiety is part of this. Embrace the process. Remember the pain. Exercise will help with sleep. Sleep won't be great, and night sweats are expected. Expect cravings, and ice cream is your friend.
Day 2: Expect to be tired, exhausted, and anxious. Drink water, sleep, eat ice cream and worry about sugar later.
Day 3: Sleep should improve and welcome back appetite. Eat a healthy breakfast.
Day 4: Your body is healing. Drink water, sleep and eat (sugar does help with cravings.)
Day 5: What happened? You may be sleeping better, and you are hungry. Eat some healthy food and don't worry about calories. Your brain is coming back on, which has two sides: your cognition is better, and the thinking mind is on overdrive.
Day 6: Your confidence is building, and your energy begins to return. Inflammation begins to dissipate.
Day 7: Sleep! Cellular restoration. Mental clarity improves.
Tips for week one:
Drink plenty of water Exercise for at least 20 minutes. It gets endorphins going Eat at least one meal with healthy greens Put pen to paper and capture your insights Remember, it's a week and not forever.
Seven days is the start of the healing process. Your seven days await – go get 'em.
Paul describes PAWS (Post Acute Withdrawal Symptoms) in this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=esHLnz-BUXw&t=1s
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[15:40] Megan has been sober for over a year. She lives in Orlando, has two kids, is a social worker, and is getting a master's in criminal justice. She loves to travel and has been to 25 countries. She loves the beach, music, theater, working out, and theme parks.
Megan grew up in a conservative religious home with no alcohol in the house. Her grandfather was a recovering alcoholic. Alcohol was a big part of her family history, and Megan experienced a lot of generational trauma. Megan's father passed away when she was 15, and her childhood abruptly ended. Coincidentally she had her first drink that year.
Megan started using alcohol as a coping mechanism in her early twenties. Her marriage, work, and being a grown-up were a lot to manage. In 2021 she started working for a men's prison, which changed her life. Giving something back and witnessing other people's trauma helped her harness her inner strength. Megan was able to share her story and learned to adopt solid self-care practices. Slowly, she started to heal.
Today, Megan sees sobriety as a beautiful way to live, even if incarcerated. She credits the men at the prison with helping her to get sober. Her sobriety tools include self-care, Café RE, leveraging an accountability partner, focusing on the good in life, and great friends. Instagram: magicalsobermama
Kris's Summary
Together is always better. Kris just returned from the Bozeman retreat, and he loved getting to see all the participants.
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
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Recovery Elevator- We are the only ones who can do this, but we don't have to do it alone. I love you guys. | |||
| RE 391: What do You Want to Hear? | 15 Aug 2022 | 00:50:07 | |
Episode 391 - What do you Want?
Today we have Polly. She is 50, from Minnesota, and has been sober since December 23, 2021.
Ditch the Booze Mindfulness Course starts 9/20.: https://www.recoveryelevator.com/cafere/
Recovery Fit – Paul Lapine. Lapine Fitness Center. https://Lapinefit.com/recoveryfit Insta:Paul_Lapine_
Highlights from Paul
Paul shares that he created the podcast to create a new level of accountability for himself when he quit drinking. He is grateful for his listeners and proud of how the podcast has evolved since the first recording. Paul would like to hear more from listeners about what they want to hear during the intro portion of the podcast.
Email Paul at: info@recoveryelevator.com
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[10:09] Polly has been sober for six months. She is a high school English teacher, has two daughters, and has been married for 24 years. She enjoys animals, running, the outdoors, camping, and family adventures.
Polly's parents drank, but not to excess. Turning 21 was a right of passage, and Polly waited to drink until then. In college, Polly partied, partially as an act of rebellion. After graduating, drinking was a weekend social thing but not an issue. Polly's husband was not a daily drinker, which was initially a red flag. There was drinking everywhere, from sporting events to book clubs to unwinding from work.
As time progressed, Polly started hiding how much she drank from her husband. She slowly started gaining weight, and drinking/eating/negative emotions became a spiral for Polly.
Polly's husband asked her to get treatment and told her she was on the verge of losing her family, friends, and job. She was in treatment over the Christmas holiday. She was violently ill during detox, and the detox nurse told her never to forget how sick she was. She appreciated how much people embraced her during treatment. She vowed to herself that she would give back and described treatment as the best experience of her life.
After leaving treatment, Polly leveraged the tools she learned in treatment and recognized that cravings are temporary. Alcohol still calls to her at six months sober, but she works on it daily. Her husband quit drinking a week before Polly went into treatment, which made her home more supportive. Polly is outspoken about her cravings and regularly asks for help. She attends AA meetings; she has a sober community and is transparent about her addiction with those close to her. She talks to her daughters regularly about her addiction. Polly hopes her experience ends her family's addiction cycle so her daughters never have to choose treatment. Polly describes sobriety as the most challenging thing she has ever done, but she is also proud of her success. She carries some shame for what she put her family through while drinking.
Paul's Summary
Paul believes adding joy, fun, and creativity to your life helps you to maintain sobriety and live a life you don't need to escape. Paul reminds listeners not to take themselves too seriously, to find joy, and don't let healing be painful.
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
Recovery Elevator- Lighten Up. I love you guys. | |||
| RE 390: The Secret to Change | 08 Aug 2022 | 00:58:35 | |
Episode 390 - The Secret to Change
Today we have Jess. She is 37, from Ontario, and has been sober since May 7, 2022.
Ditch the Booze Mindfulness Course starts 9/20.: https://www.recoveryelevator.com/cafere/
Recovery Fit – Paul Lapine. Lapine Fitness Studio. https://lapinefitness.totaltransformationtoday.com/ Insta:Paul_Lapine_
Highlights from Paul
YOU ARE GOING TO MAKE IT! Anyone who doesn't quit quitting eventually creates distance from alcohol. "The secret of change is to focus all your energy, not fighting the old, but building the new." Socrates. This journey is about transformation. It's an invitation to create a life where alcohol isn't needed. It's about letting part of you go. It's about saying goodbye to the aspects of your life that aren't working,
Paul suggests fighting the old is a waste, and addiction is a messenger letting you know your life is out of balance. Desperation leads to surrender, which leads to openness and willingness. Don't resist change as it is one constant you can count on.
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[11:31] Jess has been sober for two months. She is an accountant for a rehab hospital and enjoys reading, camping, cooking, and paddleboarding with her dog. She lives in Ontario, Canada, and has two children.
Jess came from a family of drinkers. Her Dad was a heavy drinker. She started experimenting with alcohol in her early teens. At age 14, her Dad died suddenly, and her Mom's mental health deteriorated as a result.
Jess hosted parties and smoked pot. Since her family didn't talk about things, drinking was an escape. All her friends drank and smoked, so it seemed commonplace. At one point, she started skipping school, and her sister intervened. Jess slowed down and appreciated the attention from her sister.
After high school, she took some random jobs and habitually stopped working, excusing her behavior with feigned sicknesses. She made lots of excuses but never addressed the root problem. She quit her jobs before she got fired. Her temper flared when her drinking hit a certain point, and she became a monster. Jess moved back in with her Mom to curb expenses, and her drinking slowed slightly. Six months later, she moved in with her boyfriend, and they were drinking buddies.
Jess got pregnant and abstained throughout her pregnancy but picked up again as soon as the baby was born. She bought into the "mommy wine culture ."Her Mom had dementia. Being around someone with dementia was difficult, and Jess' drinking escalated. Eventually, she went to an online AA meeting and cried. She felt so welcomed. She counted minutes to hours, and finally, it got easier. She is now grateful to be present with her kids and is learning to like herself.
Kris's Summary
Kris is looking forward to Recovery Elevator's sober retreat. Kris has learned to listen to others, be present, and hold space for them. He has fun with his sober people. Kris encourages listeners to find their way to go deeper and have some fun. Challenge yourself to take the next step.
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
Recovery Elevator- It all starts from the inside out. I love you guys. | |||
| RE 389: Journal Speak | 01 Aug 2022 | 00:53:52 | |
Episode 389 - Journal Speak
Today we have Christy. She is 42, from Denmark, and has been sober since April 5, 2022.
Costa Rica 2023: https://www.recoveryelevator.com/costarica2023/
Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE 20
Highlights from Paul
Paul talks about "journal speak," an informal, off-the-cuff style of journaling. The point is to get unprocessed, uncomfortable emotions out of you. It makes you feel less alone and more connected to yourself. This is a significant component connecting with the raw, unheard, vulnerable, pissed-off version of you. When you feel a craving coming on, this is one of the best times to do this because a part of you is screaming to be heard. Paul suggests starting with 5 minutes in the morning and 5 minutes at night. Make it informal, with no spelling or grammar check, and toss or burn it when you finish. Generally, you will find that you feel better and have cleared your mind.
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[10:58] Christy has been sober for eighty days. She lives in Denmark, is from North Carolina, and is an agile coach in IT. She is married with two children,
Christy describes herself as a boring child who didn't get into trouble. She was active in sports and music. Alcohol was always present in her life. She remembers the DARE program in high school and decided to avoid drugs and alcohol. She met her husband and married young. Christy drank socially, but there were no red flags.
In 2004, her father was diagnosed with lung cancer. He was age 47. Christy knew she needed to be strong. He passed in 2007. Unaware of how to process the grief, Christy pushed through, went through some counseling, and had a baby. After giving birth, she experienced anxiety and high blood pressure. She spiraled downward. Alcohol was a great way to shut down her brain. She gave birth to her second son and immediately returned to drinking and felt okay because the Mommy wine culture made it alright.
When moving to Denmark, she knew she needed to address her drinking because she had started sneaking alcohol. The geographic solution didn't work. The trauma of her Dad's death brought on emotions Christy could not process. She began taking days off and going to the liquor store early while her husband was at work and her kids were in school. Her drinking progressed, and she could secretly consume a whole bottle of wine. Her panic attacks got worse, and she didn't realize it was the progression of her drinking that was causing the panic attacks.
Christy told her doctor about her problem. She started listening to recovery podcasts and saw a new counselor to deal with her grief and health anxiety. Her self-talk was, "don't think, drink." The anxiety was debilitating. She was depressed and had the shakes and the shame of uncontrollable drinking.
COVID and having the kids home 24/7 was challenging. When she got to the point where her children had to put her to bed, she knew she had hit rock bottom. Her marriage was in jeopardy.
Christy enjoys Café RE and often hosts some of the chats. She attends AA and Smart Recovery as well. She has learned it is okay to be vulnerable and not strong. Leaning on her husband is okay. She no longer has to be "the rock." Her anxiety has improved, and her counseling is helping. Her greatest joy is that her son says he has his mom back.
Paul's Summary
Paul talks about the anxiety that came with trying to fix his printer. He loves that he has learned to let emotions flow through him. Paul believes in all the listeners.
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
Recovery Elevator- It all starts from the inside out. You can do this. I love you guys. | |||
| RE 486: The Most Dangerous Thing on the Planet | 10 Jun 2024 | 01:01:07 | |
Episode 486 - The Most Dangerous Thing on the Planet
Today we have Adam. He is 46 from Flowermound, TX and took his last drink on December 31st, 2022.
Recovery Elevator is going to Vietnam January 9th-20th, 2025. Registration for our newest alcohol-free travel trip opens July 1st. We have room for 25 passengers to this southeast Asia destination. We have AF workshops, a home stay and a service project planned, plus you'll be traveling with others who have already ditched the booze.
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[03:00] Thoughts from Paul:
Paul shares many things that are dangerous but concludes that the most dangerous thing on the planet is the Ego. The reason why it is so dangerous is because it is never fully satisfied, it's always hungry, lives in constant state of lack and is always seeking more, more, more.
Alcohol is but a symptom of the most dangerous thing on the planet. Addiction gets a bad rap, but it does serve a purpose. It forces you to split from the thinking mind. As the author of The Untethered Soul, Michael Singer says you are the one hearing or witnessing the thoughts, but you are not your thoughts.
Some of the humblest people Paul has met have been people in recovery. The addiction is the equalizer and forces us to seek a better way no longer guided by the blind pursuit of the ego.
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[10:22] Kris introduces Adam:
Adam is a registered nurse, married to his wife for 23 years and they have two children. He loves hiking, camping and walking and enjoys tabletop gaming and the creativity and childlike innocence that it has awoken.
Alcohol was not very present in Adam's childhood household. When he was 15, he had a bad experience with hamburgers and cheap alcohol that kept him away for a while. Typical teenage experimentation was there, but not much booze in his high school years.
Becoming a young adult found Adam at college and going to a lot of parties. The heavier partying led to Adam beginning to have blackouts and hangovers. He ended up going to the Appalachian Mountains for some mission work and to get away from his dissonance around substance use. He says it still followed him there and eventually he had to go back home. Adam says drinking was part of he and his wife's early dating period. After getting married and having kids, Adam was working 45 minutes from home and found himself drinking on the way home from work and the drinking was becoming daily. He knew it didn't feel right but continued to do it. Deciding to start nursing school after the birth of their second child was very stressful and Adam's drinking eventually found him seeking to stop but with short stints of sobriety, he would go back and feel stuck. This continued for Adam for a while and started to affect his relationships.
Adam feels he finally had a time where it just clicked for him. He had joined Café RE and then joined the Restore course and he was able to organize some tools and awareness around his drinking. He knew he had work to do but he was willing to work on it finally. He currently has a great support network and close friends that he is doing the work with. Adam feels that a lot of things about him have changed and every day he sees joy.
Adam's biggest fear around quitting drinking: the fear of not having fun
Adam's plan moving forward: staying connected and immersed
Adam's parting piece of guidance for people thinking about quitting drinking: it makes the world colorful again and life will move in the direction it's supposed to move.
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Recovery Elevator It all starts from the inside out. I love you guys. | |||
| RE 388: Who Do I Think I Am? | 25 Jul 2022 | 00:57:04 | |
Episode 388 - Identity
Today we have Liz. She is 55, from Bend, OR, and has been sober for five months.
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Highlights from Kris
After returning from a trip to DC, Kris realized that connecting his identity to his accomplishments is something he left behind. Presenting his achievements as a "Who I Am" was typical for Kris when he was in active addiction. Kris hoped that showing others the good in him might help him to see the good in himself. Approval seeking was directly linked to his self-worth and what others thought of him. This created conflict because Kris felt like he was leading a double life: the list of accomplishments he shared with others and the poor self-esteem that felt more like the "real Kris."
Ultimately, Kris hit a tipping point that led to his recovery. During those early days, he identified with the bad things he had done while drinking. With treatment, counseling, and spiritual support, Kris learned that he was responsible for his harmful behavior but eventually realized that what he did wasn't who he was. He had to clean up, but he gained clarity on what he did vs. who he is.
Kris found a new identity in recovery. The greater good prevails, and instead of looking for an atta boy, he tries to connect to how he can be part of something bigger.
Kris asks listeners where they find their identity? Does it bring you peace? Can you make shifts in your identity without shame?
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[10:45] Liz has been sober for five months. She is from California, has two dogs, works for a healthcare start-up, and enjoys entertaining, cooking, gardening, and music.
Alcohol was part of Liz's life from an early age. She described a lot of drama and trauma in her childhood. She developed a fear of drinking while observing her parent's drinking.
Liz and Kris talked about the behaviors we develop in childhood because of trauma and learning to give yourself grace as you reconcile those behaviors and learn healthier ones. They discussed how shame doesn't support your recovery. They also talked about surrender being an essential step in recovering yourself.
Liz relies on Recovery Elevator and Café RE, meditation, self-care, recovery tools, and community to support her sobriety.
Kris's Summary
Kris talks about embracing challenges and turning them around to support the greater good. Move forward with grace, love and encouragement. Learn to love yourself and share that love with others. If you feel stuck in your story, know you are not alone. Keep it simple and focus on the next right here. We are here for you.
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
Recovery Elevator- You're the only one who can do this, but you don't have to do it alone. I love you guys. | |||
| RE 387: Why Some Make it, and Some Don't | 18 Jul 2022 | 00:54:12 | |
Episode 387 - Why Some Make it, and Some Don't
Today we have Becca. She is 43, from Montana, and took her last drink on September 18, 2017.
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Highlights from Paul
Paul believes that taking responsibility for your drinking or choosing not to be a victim increases your likelihood of "making it" L." listening to this podcast means that you are open to new ideas, pathways, resources, and a new outlook on life. Paul suggests telling yourself that you will make it or are already there. Awareness that you have a drinking problem is the beginning, then ownership of the solution.
Paul believes a drinking problem is an invitation to a new life. Never quit quitting. Paul says yes, you are going to make it. You are already making it.
Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored
[11:07] Becca has been sober for nearly five years. Becca worked for 18 years as a chef/bartender. She rescues dogs, loves art, and reading. She went from food addiction to alcohol in her early twenties. She had a gastric bypass in 2005. She pre-gamed a bottle of booze before going out with her friends. She was able to lose 268 pounds and kept it off, but she was able to drink a lot of alcohol.
Becca describes several signs on the way to quitting drinking. She eventually went to Great Falls for inpatient treatment. After 17 years of constant drinking, the strict rehab included a lot of self-discoveries, and she had to earn privileges. The physical withdrawal was difficult because she was having seizures. Becca transitioned over to sober living. Shame was part of her inner dialogue. After eight months of sober living, she began working out. She opened her first business.
Becca's life is so much better. She would rather be involved in a national disaster than go back to her rock bottom with alcohol. Recovery isn't black and white. Routine is important, but she has learned to embrace the challenges that come with everyday life. She can hear the birds and the river in ways she hadn't before.
Daily reflections, post-it reminders, journaling, embracing nature, equine therapy, and surrounding herself with healthy support have been critical to maintaining sobriety. At five months sober, Becca was able to testify against someone who beat her up. She moved to Gardiner, MT, and fell in love with the area.
She studied coffee, created her own coffee recipe, and is proud to serve the best coffee on earth. She has strained out the things she no longer needs. Check out Bear's Brew in Gardiner, MT, if you head to Yellowstone.
Paul's Summary
Paul hates the term "making it" and knows that comparison is a trap. Internal goals can be problematic because of the ego. The gifts of recovery include: being present, enjoying the moments, and knowing that you have already made it. All pathways lead the way home. Paul embraces problems and tries to heed the lessons that come with them.
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
Recovery Elevator- Go big because eventually, we all go home. I love you guys. | |||
| RE 386: The One Mistake People Make When Quitting Drinking | 11 Jul 2022 | 01:03:55 | |
Episode 386 - The One Mistake People Make When Quitting Drinking
Today we have Shad. He is 46, from Indiana, and took his last drink on March 19, 2021.
Café RE Open House Chat: July 16, 2016, at 12 ET. Join Zoom: https://us02web.zoom.us/j/83057111516? pwd=NlJyaFdtZ0RBYnhMaytxbkdRU2tMdz09 Meeting ID: 830 5711 1516 Passcode: recovery
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Highlights from Paul
Don't quit drinking without learning coping strategies, understanding why you drink in the first place, and get some tools for your recovery toolbox. Don't sell yourself short on how rich your life can be without alcohol. Say yes, to as many recovery opportunities as you can. Books, podcasts, quit lit, retreats, spiritual teachers, music, chats, meetings. Some of it is work. These investments of time into yourself will pay HUGE in the future. A whole new world awaits you after the bottle.
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[10:50] Shad has been sober for 433 days. He is married with five children, three grandchildren, and three dogs. He loves skateboarding, archery, trail running, and anything outside. He describes nature as his church, particularly above the timberline.
Shad experienced severe child abuse in early childhood and was from a family with a history of addiction to drugs and alcohol. His grandfather was a friend, a father figure, and a heavy drinker. Shad created chaos with alcohol. After his divorce, he doubled down on alcohol; then, he tried to drink himself to death after his grandfather passed. Shad lost his brother to a drug overdose.
Consequences were minimal for Shad. His first wake-up call was waking up to an empty gallon bottle of whiskey. A year later, running inspired him. He started running longer distances. The stride, footfalls, and measured breathing were meditative for Shad. He still had not dealt with his emotions. He stopped drinking in 2014, ate clean, started ultra-running, and completed a 100-mile run. His ego kicked in, and he drank again because he thought he could handle it now. He got drunk on the eve of his wedding and again on his wedding day. Shad didn't believe he had a drinking problem; he thought he had a depression problem. Running replaced alcohol for those 2.5 years. After his honeymoon, he tried several attempts at moderation. It worked until it didn't, then he went downhill fast.
Shad describes himself as addicted to everything – he can't have just one. Gradually his drinking progressed. His middle son developed a drinking problem observing his Dad. The guilt of his son's drinking drove him to drink more. Covid became another excuse to isolate and drink. After a night of extreme drinking, he told his wife he tried to kill himself with bourbon. She agreed to get him some help. Shad began reaching out. He found a community that didn't judge him but supported him. A friend introduced him to a group called, Punks in Recovery. Shad embraces many avenues of sobriety, including AA and ACA, and he is open to whatever works.
Kris's Summary
Kris talks about reflecting on his goals and tools and evaluating what works and doesn't. He encourages listeners to look without judgment at what went well and what could have gone better. Shame doesn't have a place in recovery. Leverage gratitude and do the next right thing. Growth takes time. Let it do its job.
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
Recovery Elevator- You are the only one who can do this, but you don't have to do it alone. I love you guys. | |||
| RE 385: You're Free | 04 Jul 2022 | 00:50:06 | |
Episode 385 - You're Free
Today we have Steve. He is 34, from Boston, MA, and took his last drink on February 18, 2021.
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Highlights from Paul
An elementary view of freedom is free will or doing what you want. A more rewarding form of freedom includes commitments, discipline, and boundaries for extended periods. Freedom also includes sleep, routine, forgiveness, being present, being of service, overcoming fear, and adding value. Freedom gives you choices; the most important choice is to be your authentic self.
[8:40] Steve has been sober for over a year. Steve's parents were born in El Salvatore, and Steve is first generation American. In college, he stumbled upon neuroscience. He enjoys running, boxing and music. A classmate passed, and the grief and mystery around his death felt impossible to process at the time. Alcohol put noise cancellation on his thoughts, his anxiety, and the reality of death. Steve never grieved. Over the years, his drinking progressed from weekends to weekdays to whenever he wasn't working. He learned quickly he couldn't have 1-2 drinks. Moderation didn't work. Last year on his birthday, he drank to excess in front of his parents, siblings, and partner. He resolved you quit drinking. You get to keep everything else or give up everything and keep drinking.
Steve attempted moderation. Eventually, he went to therapy to learn how to navigate his feelings, anxiety, and urge to drink. He realized he had a family history of alcohol abuse and anxiety. On a particularly bad day, his friends expressed concern and suggested some things to explore. After his first Café Re meeting, Steve felt more comfortable with his thoughts; that was his Day 1. The RE community gave Steve the push he needed. Listening to others, he felt accepted, nourished, and supported. He described never feeling more human and letting vulnerability take center stage. Day count fell aside, and it became "no matter what."
Steve's non-negotiables started with not letting alcohol influence his work. Now it's about being present and letting life happen.
Paul's Summary
Declare freedom over alcohol. Never quit quitting.
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
Recovery Elevator –go big because eventually, we all go home. I love you guys. | |||
| RE 384: The Path of Least Resistance | 27 Jun 2022 | 01:14:17 | |
Episode 384 - The path of least resistance
Today we have Matt. He is 40, from Edmonton, Canada, and took his last drink on April 8, 2019.
Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE 20
Café RE Chats: https://recoveryelevator.com/cafere/
Highlights from Paul
Sobriety is the path of least resistance. Moderation was miserable, and drinking is killing me. Paul describes his own experiences with moderation and points out that with moderation, you continue to have decision fatigue and only moderately heal. Moderation is often a step along the journey toward ditching the booze.
The path of least resistance means – you won't get a DUI or be sent home from work because you smell like booze. Your sleep improves, your liver health improves along with your connections and relationships, and you enjoy more fun (and skittles).
Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month
[13:06] Matt has been sober for three years. He is a recovery coach, engaged, and enjoys music, nature, hiking, camping, and his dogs. He is learning about sound therapy and how music can influence your mindset.
Matt came from a family of heavy drinkers. He remembers listening to the excitement of the adults' conversations while drinking when he was young. He was often given sips of beer if it felt exciting. As a teenager, music became a way to express himself. The rock and roll lifestyle complimented the music, which included booze. Drinking helped Matt to overcome his shyness and awkwardness.
His early 20s presented the perfect storm of opportunities to drink excessively. He went from a happy-go-lucky drunk to having a chip on his shoulder. He began to recognize his drinking habits were changing. A breakup with his girlfriend sent him into a tailspin of depression, and his drinking escalated. External pressure to quit drinking led to rebellion, and Matt learned that change had to come from within. Matt was hospitalized with acute pancreatitis after a drinking binge. He continued to drink and had another health incident. He took some time off work and launched it with a bender, then turned to a friend to bring him to an AA meeting. His first meeting was a profound emotional/spiritual shift that led him to over three years of sobriety.
Matt's firsts during his first year of sobriety was difficult and rewarding. It was his first opportunity as an adult to experience life without alcohol. Self-help books, podcasts, and a growth mindset helped him embrace sobriety. He was quiet about his sobriety. At a friend's wedding, he had a shot of tequila, and the wave of the high hit him quickly. He had a creative outburst and wrote ten songs. He convinced himself that the drinks enabled his creativity. He repackaged all his views of alcohol to return to drinking moderately. The moderation bargaining started, and at one point, he heard a voice telling him, if you keep doing this, it will kill you. Matt continued drinking. After a sloppy party weekend, Matt realized it was time to stop while driving to his dad's celebration of life. He decided to stop the cycle as a tribute to his father.
Matt recently made a plant-based medicine retreat. His healing journey continues, and the sense of peace has returned. He is focused on a growth mindset and allowing the journey to happen because life is not a to-do list.
Matt's podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/beyond-recovery/id1618862620
Kris's Summary
Embracing summer plans as a sober person is new for many of us. Give yourself grace. Create accountability, set boundaries, try new things, create new habits, and remember it's okay to go slow.
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
Recovery Elevator –it all starts from the inside out I love you guys. | |||
| RE 383: Chapter 4 - Clearing Space | 20 Jun 2022 | 00:55:58 | |
Episode 383 - Clearing space
Today we have Phillip. He is 46 and took his last drink on February 28, 2019.
Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE 20
Bozeman Retreat: https://www.recoveryelevator.com/cafere/ Early Recovery Podcast Guests: email info@recoveryelevator.com
Highlights from Paul
It's hard to visualize a sober life when you are still drinking because your body is using every drop of energy to get rid of the poison that is alcohol from your body. Paul suggests once you ditch the booze, sit back and be the observer to watch your life unfold and resist the urge to control everything. In his eighth year of sobriety, Paul bought a home in Costa Rica, a longtime dream. After quitting, his life became a blank canvas, and now he is exploring his love for nature in his new home – which would not have been possible if he was still drinking. Paul feels connected to his inner child and is grateful for his life today.
In chapter 4, Paul wants to showcase listeners' talents. Feel free to send an edited MP3 file in under 3 minutes to info@recoveryelevator.com, and you may hear yourself on the podcast.
Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month
[12:55] Phillip lives in Minneapolis, lives with his partner, has no kids, and works as an attorney. He is a marathon runner. Phillip started drinking in college. As life unfolded, he noticed drinking was part of all his life activities, from work to time with friends. He realized he drank every day, even the night before running a marathon.
In 2017, he started to question if he had a problem. The thought of quitting drinking felt like quitting fun. In 2018, Philip decided to explore his relationship with alcohol as his New Year's resolution. He quit for four months with few problems. He kept a diary that tracked his cravings and triggers. He drank during a vacation which ended his streak. He found several reasons to start and stop. By the end of 2018, he returned to daily drinking and stopped keeping his diary, and brandy was his drink of choice. He noticed he was gaining weight, and his depression was worsening. He realized that moderation was a challenge. Choosing to drink or not drink daily was exhausting and caused decision fatigue. Phillip's sleep was terrible; one day, he found himself drinking at 3 AM so he could sleep … two hours before a run. It occurred to him that he was now drinking in the morning.
As he reflected on his behavior, he saw three paths: continue drinking, moderate, or abstain altogether. He concluded that quitting was the past of least resistance because moderation involved constant decision fatigue. He joined the "no matter what" club. He got sober, learning how to get through the moments. He kept a spreadsheet that became a diary of his cravings. He tracked his cravings to he could identify trends. His most challenging moments came later in sobriety. Three months in, Memorial Day weekend was a huge struggle. Podcasts are a huge part of Phillip's recovery. He joined Café RE and began to connect with people. Many say you are the average of your top 5 people, and surrounding himself with non-drinkers has brought his life to a better level. He now enjoys a runner's high when he runs, which he never experienced when drinking. Phillip believes sobriety can be for everybody.
Paul's Summary
Keep track of how much energy your addiction takes. Write it down. Never take yourself too seriously. I love you guys!
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
Recovery Elevator –it all starts from the inside out. I love you guys! I love you guys. | |||
| RE 382: So Now What? | 13 Jun 2022 | 01:06:40 | |
Episode 382– So now what?
Today we have Ryan. He is 40, from Denver, and took his last drink on January 7, 2013.
Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE 20
Bozeman Retreat: https://www.recoveryelevator.com/cafere/
Highlights from Paul
Recovery Elevator Newsletter: https://recoveryelevator.com
Paul shares Odette's wise words, "we can't be hard on ourselves when we do hard things." He also examines those who abuse alcohol and the correlation with being hard on ourselves. Could the pace you are setting for yourself be driving you to drink?
Not drinking isn't an activity. I quit drinking, so now what? You are making space for a new chapter in your life. A theme you will find in that chapter is your relationship with yourself.
Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month
[11:15] Ryan has been sober for over nine years. He is the founder of Free Spiritual Community for addicts to break the cycle of addiction. He is married and has four kids. He loves being outside, the mountains, travel, and family life.
Ryan has been in ministry for 14 years, and sobriety brought him a spiritual awakening. He went to bible school, and during the first month, his brother was killed in a car accident. The addiction began to take over. Alcohol helped Ryan deal with pain, fear, and uncertainty. He experienced shame and fundamentally did not like himself as a person.
Ryan didn't know how to stop the pain or creating pain. While in the seminary, his drinking escalated. One Christmas Eve, his sister asked him not to come around anymore because she didn't want her kids to see him drunk. He describes putting on a mask, so nobody could see who he was. Ryan describes the grace that helped him connect to his relationship with God, knowing that God was there during his addiction.
Admitting that he was spiritually disconnected created spiritual freedom that changed his life. Shame, anger, and self-hatred helped him connect to God and explore a different way of life. An intervention from his wife made the difference. She used the word "we," and knowing he didn't have to do it alone propelled him into recovery.
Nine years in, Ryan still practices letting go. He began his journey in 12-step programs, and he went from sitting in the back of the room to actively engaging, getting vulnerable, and being of service. Today, Ryan and his wife have a church filled with addicts, loved ones of addicts, and spiritual refugees, https://freespiritualcommunity.com. Insta: freespiritualcommunity, YouTube: freespiritual community. https://wagoncoffeeroasters.com/
Kris' Summary
Kris talks about his wife Aimee being on the Recovery Elevator podcast. Check out episode 321. Kris thanks listeners for giving him the room to grow.
Keep going. Finds some peace.
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
Recovery Elevator –it all starts from the inside out. I love you guys! I love you guys. | |||
| RE 381: We're All Addicted to Something | 06 Jun 2022 | 00:50:52 | |
Episode 381– We are all addicted to something
Today we have Amy. She is 39, from Canada, and took her last drink on August 21, 2016
Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE 20
Highlights from Paul
Paul talks about a book he is reading called, The Urge. It's about an Indian in the Seneca Tribe named Handsome Lake. He developed a program similar to AA about 150 years before Bill W and Dr. Bob created AA. Connection pulled people out of addiction. The Urge: https://amzn.to/37KVS3Y
Paul describes an experience at a Sauna in the hot springs where a group of men started talking about addiction. It began with one man sharing that he had ten years without a drink and moved to Montana for a fresh start. After he burned the ships, the other men in the sauna talked about their struggle to control substances beyond alcohol and drugs. When one person opens up and shares from the heart, it gives others a safe space to do the same.
Paul reminds us: 1) It's a challenging universe to live in; 2) we are all addicts trying to survive, and 3) we all need help. Continue exploring coping strategies, and you will find the ones that work for you.
Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month
[10:55] Amy has been sober for six years. She is from Toronto, Canada, and works as a sobriety and mindset coach. She loves reading, cycling, traveling, cross stitching, is single, queer, and has a cat.
Amy started drinking at 16 and grew up in a family dealing with addiction. Alcohol relieved Amy from the trauma and complication of her parent's separation and divorce. She was hiding alcohol and drinking alone very early into her drinking. The volume and frequency of her drinking progressed rapidly, and she was prone to blackouts. Externally she was high functioning. Internally, she struggled quite a bit.
Amy was overcome with grief after her dad's sudden death, and her drinking escalated to cope with her volatile emotions. She achieved six months of consecutive sobriety and committed to being done with drinking. Her first attempts included moderation, rewards, and bargaining, which continued for a year. In 2015, questions started to emerge for Amy, forcing her to examine her drinking.
Amy became a coach and learned to share her story more publicly. She now helps other women create change for themselves. She has taken her life and her power back. Breaking the cycle of addiction has been very empowering for Amy. Compassion and sadness have become her primary emotions. Compassion for her father and sadness for what she went through and what might have been had her childhood been more stable.
Small steps, habit stacking, and new habits created momentum for Amy. Committing to making real change, even with discomfort and struggle, helped Amy to stack days. She began to follow other sober women on Instagram, which made her feel hopeful. Learning about addiction and alcohol, from biology to mental health, helped Amy strengthen her commitment to abstinence. She avoided events, social situations, and people who created a risk to her sobriety. She shifted her priorities to change her life. Find Amy on Instagram @MsAmyCWillis and Holandwell.com.
Odette's Summary
Odette discusses non-scale victories and tiny wins that are difficult to measure. She encourages listeners to be mindful of those small victories that snowball into meaningful momentum.
Remember that you are not alone and together is always better.
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
Recovery Elevator –please believe in yourself. I believe in you. I love you guys. | |||
| RE 380: What is Sober? | 30 May 2022 | 00:56:50 | |
Episode 380– What is Sober?
Today we have Shrene. She is 46, from Arizona, and took her last drink on September 10, 2019
AF Photography Class for beginners will start in August. Details to follow. AF Ukelele Course #2 starts in June.
Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE 20
Highlights from Paul
Paul talks about the word sober. For this podcast, sober refers to alcohol, because alcohol is what got Paul behind the microphone to launch Recovery Elevator. Paul suggests not getting too attached to any idea of what sober looks like. It's not about the substance, but the freedom you have from the substance. Try not to judge others for their definition of sober, because it's rarely black and white. When you judge others, you judge yourself and create separation. Defining sobriety can be a fool's errand.
Sobriety is living authentically. Sobriety is not being a slave, to a substance, behavior, or action. Sobriety is living your life how you want to live, living with a connected head and heart, recognizing beauty, art, sunsets, a different vibration. Sobriety is hope, taking off the chains, meeting yourself, a manageable life. Sobriety is "downgrading additions." Sarah Hepola - Blackout https://www.amazon.com/Blackout-Remembering-Things-Drank-Forget/dp/1455554588
If you remove alcohol and aren't ready to say goodbye to everything else, go slow, take your time, and listen to your body. There is no right or wrong way to do this, and there is no generally accepted definition of sobriety.
At Recovery Elevator, we accept all versions of sober. We accept all versions of you.
Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month
[12:04] Shrrene is married with two children, two dogs and is a lunch lady who makes lunch for 700 kids daily.
Shrrene remembers drinking as early as age three to four. She drank through her high school years. She stopped drinking when she got married at age 16 and she stopped drinking until after her son was born at age 26. She was a casual drinker.
At 40, she started drinking daily. She would sneak her drinking, hide bottles, and hide in her closet to drink. She quit during her pregnancy. She had open heart surgery at 39, then had a stroke. At age 41 she had a second open heart surgery but continued to drink. Her husband brought an AA Big Book home from an Al-Anon meeting. Her husband joined Celebrate Recovery and she joined him for meetings. She began to moderate but went back to field research regularly until 2019. Shrrene got sick and tired of being sick and tired. Prayer was instrumental for getting the desire to drink lifted. Now she doesn't have a desire to drink, other than the fleeting thought and she plans to stay active in recovery and help others.
Shrrene slowly started talking to her husband, in AA meetings, journaling and learning to share. Journaling helped when she was too afraid to talk to others and it is a tool that still serves her today.
Attending AA and CR meetings were helpful, but Shrrene was reluctant to share. When she learned to open up, she felt less alone. She found the similarities in the stories of others. She encourages listeners to keep trying and never give up.
Odette's Summary
Odette reminds us "we can do hard things". We can't do hard things and be hard on ourselves. Chose yourself, chose kindness and be your own cheerleader.
Remember that you are not alone and together is always better.
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
Recovery Elevator –we are here for you, don't quit quitting. I love you guys. | |||
| RE 379: Doing Your Part | 23 May 2022 | 01:05:53 | |
Episode 379 – Service
Today we have Aaron. He is 40, from South Carolina, and took his last drink on September 15, 2021.
Jeff was interviewed for the podcast on episodes 104 and 377, has a book out, and is now leading sober travel trips. See links below.
Finding Bishop Castle: A Road Trip to Recovery -- https://www.amazon.com/Finding-Bishop-Castle-Road-Recovery/dp/0578882612/ref=sr_1_1?crid=350FVMX9SZBRI&keywords=finding+bishop+castle+jeff+bowersox&qid=1649339640&sprefix=Finding+Bishop+%2Caps%2C213&sr=8-1#customerReviews
Afterglow Recovery - https://ourafterglow.com
Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE 20
Highlights from Paul
Paul talks about the benefits of service and climate change in recovery. Service gets you out of your head and out of your story. Dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin are released when we help others.
Climate change could save us as a species by forcing us to work together and develop a collective strategy. Alcoholics can help because there's one thing we can do that others can't, and that's meeting as a group, putting all our differences aside, and talking about healing, recovery, and LOVE.
Paul wants climate change to unite us instead of dividing us. He is encouraging Recovery Elevator listeners to plant a tree, take a picture and tag us on Instagram @recoveryelevator.
"The true meaning of life is to plant trees under the shade you don't expect to sit." Nelson Henderson
Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month
[15:06] Aaron has been sober for seven months and is married with two kids. He has an athletic household. He loves cooking, sports, and power yoga.
Alcohol wasn't part of his life until his senior year of high school. When he went to college, binge drinking was the norm. Alcohol came with comradery for Aaron. All his memories with his friends involved alcohol. At 23, he totaled a car after drinking to excess. He quit for a month after the accident. When he started working, he got an outside sales job involving entertaining customers. Both his work and his social life revolved around drinking. At times it felt like an obligation. His tolerance built up, and it never occurred to him to stop.
His wife noticed and began to comment on his drinking. Aaron said to drink as he wanted meant being drunk. He saw a therapist specializing in addiction who helped him see several things.
Aaron's 40th birthday was enough of a nudge to get him to address his drinking. His wife bought him a ten pack of hot yoga classes, and he went to his first one on his birthday.
Odette and Aaron discussed the dynamics of alcoholism running in the family and how to talk to children, siblings, and cousins about being mindful of the patterns that can develop.
Accountability has been a big part of Aaron's sober journey. His cousin has become his accountability partner, and they talk about the ups and downs of sobriety with each other.
Odette and Aaron talk about the differences in sobriety that are new. Managing customers has worked well in sobriety. Aaron remembers his deliverables more readily and has found that as many customers want to be home with family as they want to party. Grieving your old life is allowed and makes sense. Ditching the booze makes room for new experiences.
Odette's Summary
Odette reminds listeners that you keep us going. We want to hear from you about what you would like to hear from us in the podcast, social media, and newsletters. You can reach Odette at info@recoveryelevator.com.
Remember that you are not alone and together is always better.
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
Recovery Elevator –It all starts from the inside out. I love you guys. | |||
| RE 485: The Social Cost of Alcohol | 03 Jun 2024 | 00:56:08 | |
Episode 485 – The Social Cost of Alcohol
Today we have Jennifer. She is 41 from Hamilton, OT Canada and took her last drink on January 18th, 2024.
Recovery Elevator is going to Vietnam January 9th-20th, 2025. Registration for our newest alcohol-free travel trip opens July 1st.
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[02:09] Thoughts from Paul:
Paul shares some information from an article he saw on the Instagram page recoveryroadmap.me. It discusses how in Canada, despite bringing in $13 billion in tax revenue, the net social costs in 2020 was $19 billion. And it is even worse in the US.
The bright side of all of this is that we are becoming aware of this major deficit, and change is taking place. The demand for alcohol is lowering as people are becoming more aware that alcohol is not good for you. Two years ago, The Huberman Lab did a podcast called What Alcohol Does to Your Body and he debunked the myth that alcohol is good for you.
Paul also shares that thanks to an initiative called Sounds Right, musicians who use natural sounds can list "Nature" as a featured artist and royalties from the tracks will go toward environmental causes.
Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20
[08:33] Paul introduces Jennifer:
Jennifer is married and they have a daughter and a standard poodle. She works for the family business and for fun she plays paintball, tennis and volleyball – anything active with friends.
Jennifer says that as the "good girl" growing up, she always wanted to be bad and says that drinking fit in with that. During the week she was excelling in school, but on the weekends, she went to raves with friends and started smoking weed. She enjoyed the duality of her life and the same pattern continued at university.
While in her first year of college, her father bought back his company with a ten-year plan of Jennifer becoming the CEO. The stress and responsibility of this and her parents divorce a few years later all found her drinking escalating. Some of her friends told Jennifer's mom about her drinking and staged a small intervention to which Jennifer was not receptive. She assured everyone she was ok, but then just began to isolate when she drank.
After the plan found her becoming the CEO, her drinking went from nights and weekends to drinking all day just to cope. She recognized that this was a problem but was scared to mention it to anyone. This is when she first joined Café RE, started listening to podcasts and trying to learn more about the disease. Jennifer tried a lot of moderation methods but was never successful until she got pregnant with her daughter at 35. She was able to quit drinking while pregnant and a few months after having the baby.
After returning to work, Jennifer says her drinking started right where she left off. She says she was beginning to have disturbing thoughts and finally concluded that she needed help. Not being able to come up with a good way to quit without anyone knowing, she decided to confide in her cousin who she knew would understand.
In January of 2024 at a dinner with her cousin, mom and husband, Jennifer was able to burn the ships, and everyone was very supportive. Upon going to treatment shortly after, Jennifer says she took her recovery very seriously and wanted to make it worth her time.
Journaling and practicing mindfulness are big parts of Jennifer's recovery, she takes time to be present with her daughter and her life, attends meetings and counseling regularly and says stacking habits are important to her growth. Nurturing the sober version of herself has been great for her. Jennifer can see a future now
Jennifer's best sober moment: Walking my daughter to school and being present.
Jennnifer's parting piece of guidance: Don't be afraid to ask for help.
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Recovery Elevator It all starts from the inside out. I love you guys. | |||
| RE 378: Finding Grace | 16 May 2022 | 01:08:00 | |
Episode 378 – Finding Grace
Today we have Susan. She is 46, from Ohio, and took her last drink on June 14, 2019.
Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE 20
Highlights from Odette
"Whatever courage got you here is going to take you far." You are brave, and you have courage. Learn to trust yourself. Define far for yourself. The unfolding of healing takes time, have patience with yourself. Odette has two sentences of a poem on her forearm: "I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul." Those words are a reminder of her strength, courage, and perseverance.
Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month
[09:20] Susan has been sober for nearly three years. She is speaking on the podcast to get out of her comfort zone and overcome some complacency in her sobriety.
Susan is married and lives in Ohio with a stepson and two dogs. She works for an investment company and loves the outdoors, the beach, paddle boarding, running, and Jeopardy.
Susan grew up in a house of addiction and described it as WWIII. Her father was an abusive alcoholic. Her parents tended to numb out and not deal with anything. She realizes now many of her behaviors result from a trauma response.
Susan was often the caretaker for her mom, so the roles were reversed. She partied a fair amount in her twenties. Her mom died, and her sister was diagnosed with lung cancer. Her sister and brother-in-law died within seven months of one another. Susan retreated into her addiction. All the grief and pain from losing her sister was overwhelming.
Addiction was like a cocoon for Susan. It became so uncomfortable, and she had to stop. Susan tried naltrexone, but she wasn't ready to quit. Shame kept her drinking for some time, and in retrospect, Susan regrets that she didn't ask for help. Alan Carr's book podcasts and terror helped her to quit for good. Two months into sobriety, she attended Recovery Elevator's Bozeman retreat. At Bozeman, Susan learned that community is essential. Susan struggled to share her recovery with her drinking friends. She often said she was "on a cleanse."
Susan describes recovery as a radical act of self-love. Her progress in the last 3-years eclipses her progress in the previous ten. She is learning to get uncomfortable with being uncomfortable. Meditation, gratitude practice, and Women for Sobriety zoom meetings are essential sobriety tools for Susan. She suggests getting clear on your "why" to reinforce your commitment to recovery. Susan believes you are worth it and deserve to be happy and have some peace.
Kris' Summary
Kris encourages you to share your story. Contact Kris: Kris@recoveryelevator.com.
Kris describes his daughter's work to win a photography merit award. Even with life's ups and downs, her consistency reminds him of the consistency needed to maintain sobriety. Managing struggles, triumphs, and learning to grow through challenges is how you stack days and keep your commitment. Sometimes our plans work out perfectly, while others kick us in the face. We don't know what's around the corner. Meet every challenge with love, patience, and grace.
You are the only one who can do this, but you don't have to do it alone.
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
Recovery Elevator –It all starts from the inside out. I love you guys. | |||
| RE 377: Your Favorites | 09 May 2022 | 00:56:47 | |
Episode 377 – Your favorites
Today we have Jeff. He is 47, from the Dominican Republic, and took his last drink on December 4, 2016.
Bozeman Retreat: https://www.recoveryelevator.com/bozeman/
Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE 20
Highlights from Paul
Listeners provided highlights of some of their favorite episodes of the Recovery Elevator podcast.
330 – Learn to love yourself as your dog (or cat) loves you. You have a certain amount of energy and days in your life, and it is your choice on what to spend it on.
207 and 220 – Tom Topp inspired a listener to see social anxiety as a similarity. Another listener helped her learn that the body does heal from elevated liver enzymes without alcohol.
Another listener couldn't name one episode but instead said, sharing your story and recovering out loud helps shred the shame of addiction. It made me realize that I'm not alone, and together we can fight and overcome this!
370 Stephanie – a listener, learned to put the same energy into her recovery that she did into drinking.
Odette speaking about her relapse was also powerful
Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month
[15:21] Jeff feels great, thanks to five years of sobriety. He is married and splits time between Colorado and the Dominican Republic. He has a concierge service for people in recovery to enjoy a beach vacation without the triggers of alcohol. Jeff's services help sober experience sober fun.
Jeff experimented with alcohol as a teenager and described alcohol as a warm hug. He married at 18 and put alcohol on the sidelines to become a provider. In his mid-thirties, Jeff spiraled into self-pity. After DUI's and jail time, it took him several years to embrace recovery. He remarried and was a grey area drinker, until his drinking was problematic again.
Codependency caused Jeff to take on identities for other people. In sobriety, he started to get to know himself. When triggered, he asks his wife for help. Jeff listened to ninety episodes of the Recovery Elevator podcast in thirty days. Stubbornness helped to make sobriety stick. Writing is a great tool for Jeff and posting in Café Re provides him with great feedback.
Collecting the sober moments retrains the synapses in your brain to have different responses to triggering events.
Odette's Summary
You can handle this. Remember that you are not alone and together is always better.
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
Recovery Elevator –It all starts from the inside out. I love you guys. | |||
| RE 376: You Can be Right or You Can Have Peace Part II | 02 May 2022 | 00:59:22 | |
Episode 376 – You can be right, or you can have peace – Part 2
Today we have Ronda. She is 56, from New Orleans, and sober for 2.5 years.
Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE 20
Highlights from Paul
We are all human, with faulty machines in the dome. It's okay to be right or want to be right, especially in the moment. Sobriety teaches us that we must choose peace. We don't have to choose peace immediately, but eventually, we must, or we develop resentments. Resentments, for many of us, can kill us. Why? Resentments separate us. Disconnect us. And what's the opposite of addiction—connection.
Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month
[10:23] Ronda and Odette discussed the sobriety journey and celebrating the decision to quit vs. the date of your last drink. Ronda is from New Orleans and recently moved to Colorado. She has three grown children, and she is an anesthesiologist. She loves sailing, hiking, and traveling.
Ronda's first addiction was an eating disorder. She coped with stress and shame with food. She recovered from the eating disorder at age 30, and alcohol became a problem. She got a DWI in her mid-forties. Ronda said she ignored all the signs. She didn't want to have a drinking problem. The culture in New Orleans portrays day drinking and excessive drinking as the norm, so it made denial easier.
Ronda was more of a binge drinker than a daily drinker. Her kids started noticing her drinking. Her middle daughter was vocal about her concerns early on. So, Ronda began to hide her drinking. Ronda and the kids evacuated to Phoenix during Hurricane Katrina. Her problem with drinking started then, and it took her ten years to get help.
After getting a DUI, Ronda had to go through a program to align with the recommendations of the medical board. Even her colleagues said, "it could have been me."
When visiting her daughter in sober living, Ronda got sloshed at the airport and faced her daughter's disappointment when she landed. When her daughter stopped protecting Ronda, it was another AHA moment that she had a problem. After her daughter went to rehab, Ronda started moderating when her kids were with her.
There are multiple ways to get sober, and Ronda tried everything and found a mix of programs that worked. Ronda leveraged AA, The Tempest Sobriety School (run by Holly Whittaker), Recovery Elevator, and Café RE in early recovery. With a heavy emphasis on self-care, Ronda was able to find her true soul, her wounded inner child, and the ego that were all within herself. Learning to take care of herself allowed Ronda to stack days and helped her to deal with shame. Plant-based medicine was a pivotal moment in her recovery journey.
Ronda was molested as a young child, and it was one of many childhood traumas that contributed to her addiction. Shortly after confronting her abuser, she took her last drink. It was a burden off her shoulders that she didn't have to hide anymore.
Joy has permeated Ronda's life. She has learned new skills, confronted her past, and found many ways to have fun, including mediation, music, dancing, nature, bubble baths, community, and board games (particularly Bananagrams). Morning routines are critical to Ronda's sobriety routine. She removed herself from social media other than her recovery groups.
Odette's Summary
Odette talks about shame, day counts, and restarting. Committing to sobriety should add value, not shame, to your recovery. It's not about the date. It's about staying on the journey. Remember that you are not alone and together is always better.
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
Recovery Elevator –We took the elevator down. We need to take the stairs back up. I love you guys. | |||
| RE 375: Decoupling | 25 Apr 2022 | 00:59:02 | |
Episode 375 – Decoupling
Today we have Amanda. She is 40, from Florida, and took her last drink on March 25, 2019.
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Highlights from Paul
Paul discusses anxiety and decoupling. Paul's tipping point was in 2017 when his anxiety or hangxiety was so bad that he thought he was having a heart attack. As he sobered up, the anxiety temporarily worsened, then improved dramatically. 85-90% of Paul's anxiety is gone today. Anxiety no longer controls him.
Decoupling is untangling the thoughts, actions, and behaviors no longer serving you. Decoupling is a muscle. Start small and watch the momentum build.
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[10:20] Amanda is married to a military husband and has two children. She works as a mental health provider. She loves time with her kids, baking, working out, and spending time with other sober people.
Amanda grew up in an alcoholic home. She grew up with verbal and emotional abuse and struggled with anxiety for most of her childhood. She was an athlete but quit. She began hanging out with an older crowd, and illicit drugs entered her life. She quickly reigned in the drug use. Going to school in New Orleans, her drinking escalated. Eventually, she discovered prescription drugs. She mixed them with alcohol.
She observed her mental obsession with alcohol during her second pregnancy. After having her first baby, she used alcohol to cope with the stress of motherhood and having a military husband who was gone a lot. At a birthday party, she drank a bottle of wine and still wanted more. She hoped her tolerance would reset, but it didn't work that way.
Amanda was highly functioning, working full time, eating well, exercising, and caring for her children. Amanda described herself as arrogant because she knew the ins and outs of addiction because of her career but continued to drink.
After relocating from one part of the country to another, Amanda thought it was time to reign in her drinking. She started a fitness plan that included some aggressive nutritional goals that excluded alcohol to be more present. She felt great, but her drinking resumed. At her grandfather's funeral, her husband noticed she drank an entire bottle of wine at 9 AM. Shortly after that, she knew she was "done" and told her husband she had a problem and needed help.
Amanda discovered Recovery Elevator and Café Re during her first two years. She has found the resources she needs to maintain her sobriety. She was initially active in AA. Community is now the core of her recovery. Feeling understood and accepted for all her parts is amazing. Amanda is learning to create distance from her thoughts, accept them and have compassion for herself and others.
Odette's Summary
Odette thanks listeners for all the support and kind words she received during her last introduction to the podcast. Remember that you are not alone and together is always better.
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
Recovery Elevator –Every time we say no to booze, we say yes to ourselves. I love you guys. | |||
| RE 374: Then Go Back Again | 18 Apr 2022 | 01:02:52 | |
Episode 374 – Then go back again
Today we have Meegan. She is 37, from Georgia, and took her last drink on April 21, 2019.
Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE 20
Highlights from Paul
Addiction has the propensity to crack you open. We fight and dig our heels in, but eventually, the Addiction wins. This doesn't mean you are destined to drink forever, but the Addiction cracks you open. Paul encourages listeners to use their energy to find what recovery method works for them. When you find it, go back again to the beginning. You will find that the messages you heard early in recovery have different lessons for you later in recovery. Go back again. Listen to those podcasts again, read the quit lit again or recovery books again, and do the steps again. You are a different person with a new set of skills, experiences, and tools. Revisiting those messages often provides a new value bomb.
Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month
[11:24] Meegan is a Family Nurse Practitioner and is married with three children. She loves running, snowboarding, and writing. Meegan describes a happy childhood until her parents had a tumultuous divorce, and it broke her heart. Life felt out of control. Meegan developed an eating disorder. She experimented with drinking in high school and described it as a rite of passage. Meegan made a few geographic moves for school.
After a few moves, Meegan landed in Georgia, got married, and immediately had a baby. She was part of the Mommy wine culture. That was a lightbulb moment. She recognized that drinking with the baby at age 24 wasn't good. Wine calmed her down after dealing with the stress of night shifts. Meegan started having extreme panic attacks.
Training for a 100-mile ultra-marathon made her drinking take a back burner. Her panic attacks subsided. At 30, she got pregnant with twins. Her father died around the same time, and it broke her. The stress of twins and her father's death caused her drinking to escalate.
Value Bomb: You can be the best version of yourself or be hungover, but you can't be both.
As her drinking progressed, her hangovers became more debilitating. During a trip to Europe, her solution to hangovers was to continue drinking. While in Capri, she started having bad withdrawal symptoms. As a nurse, she knew what that meant.
After returning home, she knew moderation wouldn't work. Shortly after an embarrassing time with her family, she had a moment of clarity. She fell to her knees and asked God for help. The moment of clarity was a combination of spirituality, physical health, and mental health. She called her two best friends and promised her daughter she would never drink again. Her sister encouraged her to get a therapist.
Meegan acknowledged that she didn't learn healthy coping mechanisms. In recovery, Meegan is learning to feel her feelings. Perfectionism was a theme in her early years. Telling her story is a way for Meegan to let others know that failure is okay.
Meegan "loves the quote, "Addiction is an experience, not an identity. "
Kris and Meegan encourage listeners to find the recovery that works for you.
Kris's Summary
Friendships in recovery are invaluable. You experience people who are present, listen with their hearts, and never shame you. Kris encourages listeners to lean in to discomfort. Share your experience.
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
Recovery Elevator –You are the only one who can do this, but you don't have to do it alone. I love you guys. | |||
| RE 373: Control and Connection | 11 Apr 2022 | 00:51:37 | |
Episode 373– Control and Connection
Today we have Chris. She is 46, from Baltimore, and took her last drink on August 28, 2016.
Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE 20
Highlights from Paul
Paul thanks all the guests who have shared their stories to help us on the path toward sobriety. Paul wants to hear about your favorite episode or the value bombs that resonated with you. Please include the episode number if possible. Contact Paul at: info@recoveryelevator.com.
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How are you reconciling the elements of control in your life? Paul talks about our struggles with control at the macro and micro levels. Is the opposite of control connection? We have never been more disconnected.
Paul's homework for listeners is to invite a friend out to coffee instead of placing your mental energies on trying to control things. Go on a walk with your dog in Nature. Learn to play the ukulele with us, go on a meditation retreat, join Café RE, call your mom, volunteer at a soup kitchen, write a letter to someone in jail. All our lives depend on this, and we all have to do our part, which I know we can and know we will.
Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month
[10:16] Sherrie lives in Baltimore and has two adult children. She is a massage therapist and teaches movement. She is a competitive Irish dancer; she loves paddle boarding and hiking.
Alcoholism was a big part of Chris' family. There was a lot of shame, and she steered clear of alcohol. She was the designated driver for her friends in high school. After she was married, she started drinking, and it rapidly progressed into a problem. After losing a pregnancy, she had a white light moment, and she went down a very dark hole. Alcohol became her coping mechanism to turn off the pain. She began losing clients and students and realized it was time to stop.
Physical pain and discomfort were warning signs for Chris that she wasn't headed in a good direction. Her husband never thought her drinking was a problem. Moderation was his preferred choice. He didn't think she needed to quit altogether, even when she asked for help. Waking up in a blur became commonplace. Chris started listening to recovery podcasts, and fear became the impetus to get her to quit drinking.
Chris' clients started to notice a difference in her when she quit drinking. They asked, what's different? She began her sober journey alone and listened to sobriety podcasts, including Recovery Elevator. She kept it quiet, even from her partner. Chris attended a Recovery Elevator retreat and realized she was a dry drunk. Community became part of her recovery, and she credits Paul's work for expanding her view of a sober life.
Lifestyle changes, including diet and exercise, became critical to Chris' recovery. As she continued to get better, her husband got worse and tried to sabotage her efforts. Chris relies on community and meditative movement to maintain her sobriety.
Talking openly about alcohol use with her daughters has been crucial to Chris. They have open discussions about alcohol, marijuana, and other addictive substances. She reminds her daughters that she doesn't drink and why and is very open about the predisposition for addiction in their family. Chris appreciates the power and control that have returned to her in a life without alcohol.
Odette's Summary
[48:12] "The crap does not mean you are broken; it means you have room to grow." Odette encourages us to look at the opportunities to learn, change our perceptions and live a different life. You are not alone – together is always better.
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
Recovery Elevator –Let's continue to be trailblazers in recovery together. I love you guys. | |||
| RE 372: The Three Stages of Healing | 04 Apr 2022 | 01:00:14 | |
Episode 372– The three stages of healing
Today we have Sherrie. She is 58, from Oregon, and she took her last drink on January 21, 2019.
Highlights from Paul
Paul explains the stages of healing have less to do with how much time you were drinking and more to do with how you view your problems. "The Energy Codes": https://amzn.to/3I9MgMh
The three stages of healing are:
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[13:52] Sherrie lives in Oregon, has two children and three grandchildren. She loves hiking, kayaking, house projects, and her dog.
Sherrie lived overseas during her childhood. She started working at 16 and drank because older workers never asked about her age. Drinking was prevalent in her youth. She was married young, but drinking wasn't an issue until there was a turning point in her marriage. Her marriage had its ups and downs for many years. Empty nest syndrome changed her drinking, and gastric bypass surgery changed how her body processed alcohol. She could drink large amounts of alcohol and began to blackout.
Sherrie gained weight in hopes that her husband would leave her. As she approached her fifties (her father passed at age 54), she developed patterns of self-sabotage. After her second DUI, she knew it was time to make a change. She started counseling and stayed away from triggering moments like going to the grocery store. Her life revolved around recovery. Anytime she wasn't working, she was focused on recovery.
AA is a significant part of Sherrie's recovery, AND she incorporates other things that work for her like Café RE, sober travel, meditation, etc. Finding activities that take her focus off wanting to drink helps Sherrie stay on track. Sherrie has a positive outlook and looks forward to fun adventures ahead.
Odette's Summary
[56:52] You are doing a great job. Acknowledge the work and effort you are making. Validate your own work. Be your own cheerleader. You are not alone – together is always better.
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
Recovery Elevator –You took the elevator down. You've got to take the stairs back up. I love you guys. | |||
| RE 371: Define Your Sobriety | 28 Mar 2022 | 00:55:35 | |
Episode 371– Define your sobriety
Today we have Cyndi. She is 52, from California, and she took her last drink on July 1, 2021.
Registration for the Bozeman retreat opens April 1. https://recoveryelevator.com/bozeman
Highlights from Paul
Recovery is recovering the person you were meant to be or is the most authentic version of yourself. This isn't a practice you want to end. It's not a checkbox or to-do list item. Besides, if you stick with it, you will start enjoying this work.
What is success in recovery? Paul says YOU should define success for the most essential endeavor of your life. Know your why and write it down. Loving yourself and being okay with yourself should top the list.
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[11:12] Cyndi is married loves hiking, puzzles, and pets.
Alcohol entered Cyndi's life when she was sixteen. She loved it and had fun in the beginning. Cyndi's recovery journey was progressive. Her drinking escalated after she got married. After a few comments from her husband, she tried an intensive outpatient program which wasn't effective. Cyndi found herself reneging on all the promises she made to herself. She tried AA. After some soul searching and a request from her husband, she completely changed her approach. Her drinking was progressing, and things she swore she would never do, she was doing. Defiance, a desire for control, and physical cravings fueled her relapses.
Today Cyndi doesn't isolate. She goes to AA daily, and she doesn't put herself in situations where she may be tempted to drink. Podcasts, doing the work with her sponsor, and leveraging Café RE keep her sober.
Odette's Summary
Give yourself permission to recover regardless of where you are in alcohol's progressive nature.
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
Recovery Elevator – without the darkness, you can never know the light. I love you guys. | |||
| RE 370: R is for Recovery | 21 Mar 2022 | 01:04:49 | |
Episode 370– Phases of Recovery
Today we have Stephanie. She is from Pennsylvania, and she took her last drink on January 2, 2020.
Ditch the Booze: https://recoveryelevator.com/cafére Promo Code: OPPORTUNITY
Finding your better you with Odette
After ten years of being in recovery, Odette discovers that she never asked herself what recovery means to her. Success means different things to different people. When Odette decided to add alcohol to her recovery journey, she enjoyed counting days and celebrating milestones. Fear is a common theme Odette noticed among her sober soulmates, fear of failure.
Relapse has been part of Odette's journey, and she spoke about how common relapse is for those in recovery. As she searched for the reasons she relapsed, she discovered depression, perfectionism, and shame patterns. Shame dissolves hope, and without hope, you stop showing up. Sobriety for Odette is about walking toward herself and her truth.
Odette encourages listeners to define sobriety and recovery for yourselves. Stay in the game, and don't quit on yourself.
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[10:48] Stephanie is 42, a single mom of two boys, and lives in Pennsylvania. She loves running, cooking, and fund-raising. She is enrolled in nursing school.
Stephanie describes year two of sobriety as different: a little less pink cloud and more work. She enjoys running and cooking.
Alcohol was an escape for Stephanie. She had a great 80's upbringing but did encounter some trauma that she rarely spoke about. The trauma influenced her relationships. She became the girl who could outdrink the boys. Much of her early drinking years are a blur for Stephanie.
After separating from her son's father and her Dad's diagnosis, Stephanie realized she had a problem. She was drinking to cope and not eating. She started running, quit smoking, and lost 50 pounds. She recalls having blackouts and not remembering conversations with her kids. Getting healthy for them became critical to her, so her kids wouldn't have to care for her.
Community has always been important to Stephanie. She joined Café Re and has a group of friends in recovery. She bought the book, Alcohol is Sh!t, and once she finished the book, she knew "this was it." She knew moderation wasn't enough.
Sobriety has opened Stephanie's mind to all kinds of possibilities. The pandemic forced her out of the restaurant industry, and she found a nursing school. She is now in her second year of nursing school, making excellent grades. She created the "merch" department for Café RE. She is passionate about service and gift-giving. Stephanie is focused, driven, and living a life of possibilities. Recovery isn't perfect. Life still has ups and downs, but recovery is worthwhile. She plans to incorporate recovery into her nursing career. "Find your people!"
Kris's Summary
Recovery to Kris includes mediation, podcasting, service, meetings. He is learning that recovery isn't a resume of self-awareness. Faith taught Kris to surrender. The quality of his recovery is because of the grace of God. Kris wants to keep learning. Recovery is an opportunity; it's a chance, and Kris will do his best.
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
Recovery Elevator – only you can do this, but you don't have to do it alone. I love you guys. | |||
| RE 369: You Can Be Right or You Can Have Peace | 14 Mar 2022 | 01:03:31 | |
Episode 369– You can be right, or you can have peace
Today we have Katherine. She is from Colorado and took her last drink on September 24, 2021.
Ditch the Booze: https://recoveryelevator.com/cafére Promo Code: OPPORTUNITY
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Highlights from Paul
Paul speaks to the rise of post-pandemic alcohol-free bars. Check out: https://www.wweek.com/bars/2022/02/17/portland-is-getting-its-first-zero-proof-bar-courtesy-of-no-booze-cocktail-kit-vendor-suckerpunch/
Paul speaks to brain fog and how much it impacts those of us with a history of drinking problems. Fortunately, Paul has experienced continued improvement in his cognitive function since ditching the Booze. Paul also credits meditation with improving his critical thinking and problem-solving skills. There is ample scientific evidence that meditation can rewire your thinking. Paul also credits plant-based medicine, playing music, and being less reactive with helping his brain fog and mental cognition. Paul encourages listeners to be patient and allow mind, body, and soul to recalibrate after leaving alcohol behind. Once the PAWS (post-acute withdrawal symptoms) disappear, you will also see improvement in cognitive dissonance.
Paul describes a recent experience where he chose being right over peace and reminds us that he learned the hard way that it's better to have peace than be right.
Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator
[13:46] Katherine is 45 and married with three children. She loves reading, working out, and skiing.
Katherine tried drinking in high school, but it wasn't until the last twelve years that her drinking was problematic. She joined the army at 21. When she started drinking wine, she became infatuated with the hype of wine. She became the last one to leave the party. Work troubles and being stationed in a different place than her husband contributed to her escalated drinking.
Katherine and her husband drank together regularly. He quit with her, even though his drinking wasn't problematic. He often expressed concern which Katherine experienced as controlling. She didn't understand how much her drinking was affecting him. Signs appeared that her drinking was a problem, but she dismissed them. Now, she has her friend back.
Katherine is reluctant to admit that she medicated with wine and used it to overcome the stresses of motherhood. A heavy-drinking mommy peer group became a permission slip to drink more. A series of divine interventions inspired her to quit for good. She completed a 90-day intensive outpatient program and listened to Recovery Elevator podcasts for inspiration.
Katherine encourages listeners to be gentle with themselves; give yourself grace. She has learned that expressing her feelings out loud takes away their power. Reading has become a great escape.
Odette's Summary
Know how to sit with others when they are in pain. Odette read this in Brene Brown's latest book. Learning to hold space for others and just be with others is challenging but worthwhile. Remember, you are not alone. Together is always better.
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
Recovery Elevator – it all starts from the inside out. I love you guys. | |||
| RE 484: Recovery is a Sandwich | 27 May 2024 | 01:15:02 | |
Episode 484 – Recovery is a Sandwich
Today we have Brian. He is 59 from Eastern Iowa. He took his last drink on May 23rd, 2023.
Recovery Elevator is going to Vietnam January 9th-20th, 2025. Registration for our newest alcohol-free travel trip opens July 1st and we've got room for 25 passengers. Who's up for seeing the world with a group of travelers who have ditched the booze?
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[02:24] Thoughts from Kris:
Kris' topic today is one of the foundational themes in recovery which is telling our story or burning the ships as we refer to it at Recovery Elevator.
Burning the Ships refers to when Hernan Cortez sailed across the ocean and ordered his men to burn their ships when they landed. There was no turning back, no retreat. When we share our story, we can no longer hide from it and are faced to move forward with others having knowledge of our journey.
This isn't a black and white situation so it will be different for everyone, and we each have to do what is right for us. Kris shares the different levels of burning the ships and his experiences with them. He feels that the positives outweigh the negatives. When people hear our stories, not just the stats, it changes their perception. Hearing our stories in others', helps us know we are not alone, and we never know the impact that sharing our stories may have on others.
Think of the moments that have inspired you. What is your version of that? Let Kris know what you think. How has burning the ships played out for you? Email kris@recoveryelevator.com to share your thoughts.
Athletic Greens: https://www.athleticgreens.com/recovery
[10:48] Kris introduces Brian:
Upon the release of this episode, Brian has just celebrated one year of sobriety! He is married, together they have five adult children and seven grandchildren. Brian is active and enjoys many outdoor activities, home projects, travelling and reading.
Brian grew up on a farm and recalls it was common for people to have drinks after a long day of work. He says he and his friends would sneak beer out of curiosity. When he was in his teens, he and his friends would drive around the gravel roads with a cooler of beer. After graduating high school, Brian joined the military, which was a tradition in his family. He was enlisted for two years and lived the "work hard, play hard" life that is common in that environment.
Shortly after discharge from the Army, Brian got a DUI. He did not feel this was a red flag to stop drinking, just needed to pay the fine and move on. After graduating college, he got his first job in management and married his first wife. They bought land and started a family together. Brian says drinking was mostly social on the weekends and at the local tavern after work.
Brian and his wife got a divorce after 15 years married. Soon after, Brian began suffering from extreme anxiety and panic attacks. He tried medication and meditation to deal with it, but it was still intense.
A few years later, Brian started dating his current wife. They were very social and frequently drank, but she was not a heavy drinker. Brian began to find himself waking up with anxiety and would often change his work hours to accommodate his drinking or recovery from the night before.
In December of 2020 Brian discovered his sister had recently become sober. He feels this really led him to examine his drinking. Upon arriving home from that visit, he started reading a lot and listening to podcasts. He began attending more group chats with Café RE and connecting with other folks in recovery. Brian says his sister taught him a lot of mindfulness exercises which he has found very helpful.
Brian's parting piece of guidance for those considering sobriety: just dig in and try it.
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Recovery Elevator I love you guys. Go big because eventually we'll all go home. | |||
| RE 368: The Mind F&ck of Alcohol | 07 Mar 2022 | 01:16:15 | |
Episode 368 – The Mind F&ck of Alcohol
Today we have Stephen. He is from New Jersey and took his last drink on September 15, 2020.
Ditch the Booze: https://recoveryelevator.com/cafére Promo Code: OPPORTUNITY
Highlights from Paul
Paul shares an email from a listener who asks Paul how people without a drinking problem can get help. He talks about the A&E show "Intervention" and how he often watched it while drinking alone, grateful he didn't have a problem with alcohol. The show, Intervention gave Paul countless examples of how alcohol "f&cks" with your mind. After 276 interventions on the show, 270 accepted treatment, with 151 remaining clean and sober today, which is a 55% success rate. If those numbers are accurate, they are much more optimistic than the broadly accepted low teen success rate you hear from the industry.
Paul reminds listeners that you probably have a drinking problem if you are listening to a sobriety podcast. The point of addiction is to get to know yourself and love yourself.
Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator
[13:10] Stephen is 45 and lives in New Jersey. He is a father (a "girl dad"), coach, and owns his own business. He loves coaching, sports, and everything outside.
Stephen's relationship with alcohol evolved over 25 years. Alcohol was his biggest challenge, but he also used marijuana. He dabbled in underage drinking and had fun on the Jersey shore. He managed his drinking well for many years. When his second daughter was born, he began to acknowledge his drinking was problematic. His drinking escalated over the years. He and his wife danced with moderation, and he occasionally took days off drinking. Stephen was the driver of the drinking in his marriage.
Stephen credits Paul Churchill's book with getting him sober. He tried several programs before he found Recovery Elevator. Ultimately, he went to a four-day detox. He was full of energy and enthusiasm after leaving detox. He relapsed a few times but rallied and has been able to stack days. Mismatched drinking habits pushed the end of his marriage. Meditation, journaling, exercise, and accountability are his best sobriety tools.
Value Bombs
Odette's Summary
If you are seeking anything outside of self, you are taking the long way home. Odette reminds us that everything we need is inside of us. There is no shame in having doubt. Stay on the path! Remember, you are not alone. Together is always better.
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
Recovery Elevator – it all starts from the inside out. I love you guys. | |||
| RE 367: Why Geographical Cures Don't Work | 28 Feb 2022 | 00:53:47 | |
Episode 367 – Why geographical cures won't work.
Today we have Aaron. He is from San Antonio and took his last drink on May 22, 2019.
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Highlights from Paul
Paul advises listeners that if you aren't doing the inner work, your problems will follow you, whether you move, change jobs, or change relationships. That's why geographic cures don't work. He speaks about some of his geographic solutions and why they helped temporarily, but eventually, he discovered he was the problem and had to buckle down to do the deep inner work. Paul highly recommends getting out of toxic situations.
Paul describes the inner work as connecting with yourself, learning to love yourself, setting boundaries, making decisions that benefit your sobriety, and standing up for yourself. Ultimately, inner work often causes you to leave toxic situations, relationships, jobs, etc. When you learn to respect yourself, you will choose environments that are conducive to your wholeness.
Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator
[11:54] Aaron is 27, lives in Texas, and works in finance for a corporate bank. He is a family guy, loves hiking, getting outside, food truck Friday's and hanging out with his nieces and nephews.
Aaron was raised by an amazing single mother and had a great childhood. His world was rocked when his mom died of breast cancer when he was twelve. Entering high school after losing his mom left him feeling disconnected from family, people, places, and himself. He started drinking his sophomore year, and alcohol gave him confidence, popularity, and connection. He moved to the Midwest to live with his sister and encountered a new environment, including harsh winters. Boredom led to more drinking, pot use, and the wrong crowd.
Aaron spoke heartfeltly about the role shame played in his delay in maintaining continuous sobriety. Resentments and anger fueled his drinking. He was 24 when he first attempted sobriety. Eventually, an early morning AA meeting became the key to stacking days. He started working out and listened to the Recovery Elevator podcast during his workout. His mom became a higher power for him as he got sober. Sharing his story with you today is Aaron's way to give back and offer hope.
Aaron discovered some co-addictions along the way, including co-dependency and disordered eating,
Value Bombs
Odette's Summary Odette reminds us that baby steps are progress. She reminds us we are too hard on ourselves and encourages us to remember the small things we are doing that move us in the right direction. Baby steps add up and create a compound effect. Those baby steps are decisions and small actions culminating in meaningful differences. Take inventory of the small things you are doing that move you in the right direction, and be proud! Remember that you are not alone and together is always better.
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
Recovery Elevator – we took the elevator down; we need to take the stairs back up. I love you guys. | |||
| RE 366: Walking Each Other Home | 21 Feb 2022 | 01:02:35 | |
Episode 366 – Walking each other home
Today we have Hailey. She is 29, from Portland, OR, and took her last drink on September 3, 2019.
Highlights from Paul
Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator
[11:35] Hailey has been sober for 2 ½ years and describes sobriety as different in the third year. She has been in the restaurant business forever. She lives in Oregon and has done several interesting things in the restaurant industry, including opening some restaurants in the Dominican Republic. She got sober in Minnesota and pivoted into the NA beverage business. She works for a non-profit that supports restaurant industry individuals in addiction crisis. Hailey loves longboarding but admits it's difficult in the rain.
Hailey tried alcohol and pot at age 12. She did a lot of experimenting with drugs at music festivals while her parents worked their food cart. She opened a cocktail catering company and developed an addiction to cocaine to get more done. Achievement and praise are Hailey's first addictions. She described taking it further than others to get uncomfortably high. She was reckless. She continues to feel she doesn't get enough done in a day. Her industry perpetuated that feeling.
She recalls marking the day it was one year from recognizing she had a problem and not doing anything about it. She wanted to get sober quickly and realized she had to take a break from her life to get sober. A friend connected her with a professional interventionist who helped her get into Hazelden.
Hailey's secret sauce for recovery is a robust gratitude practice coupled with things that make her proud. Hailey spent 31 days inpatient, followed by a month of outpatient treatment. She was convinced that her only problem was cocaine, not alcohol. Studying addiction instilled a healthy fear, and she became willing to work the steps. She went to meetings, sold her business assets, and took a part-time job to focus on recovery. "Ben's friends" (https://www.bensfriendshope.com/) and the right sponsor took her recovery to another level.
Hailey was very protective of her recovery during the first two years. With a solid foundation, she frequently explores other recovery venues. Service is vital to her success, and Hailey shares her story with Ben's friends to provide experience, strength, and hope to others in her industry. She relies on consistency over intensity.
Kris's Summary Kris speaks to consistency over intensity and avoiding risky behaviors to maintain his sobriety. Building a life he loves so much that drinking doesn't have a place in it is at the core of his recovery. He learns more about his faith as he digs into his spiritual practice. Kris continues to learn and grow his recovery portfolio. He focuses on what he needs right now. Accountability keeps him on track.
Kris encourages listeners to look at your recovery with curiosity instead of judgment. Complacency is dangerous in recovery. Show gratitude for the tools that work for you. Find the practices that build you up and bring you joy.
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
Recovery Elevator – you deserve a beautiful life. I love you guys. | |||
| RE 365: So Who Do I Connect With? | 14 Feb 2022 | 01:06:41 | |
Episode 365 – So Who Do I Connect With?
Today we have Joshua. He is 36 years old and from North Carolina. His last drink was on October 31, 2020.
https://kalabrand.com/
Highlights from Paul:
Happy Valentine's Day! The opposite of addiction is connection. Paul shares that reality is a mirror reflecting your inner world. The most important connection we have is the connection we have with ourselves. If we don't love, treat ourselves with respect or stand up for ourselves, that will appear in our outer world. Connecting with yourself allows you to become your own healer. Once your inner connection/relationship is healthy, that will be reflected in your external connections.
Paul recommends splitting your internal and external actions 50/50. Connect with yourself first (via meditation, journaling, yoga, etc.), then connect externally (Café RE chat, Marco Polo chat, a family member).
Johan Hari's Ted Talk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PY9DcIMGxMs
BetterHelp: www.betterhelp.com/elevator
[10:45] Odette introduces Joshua
Joshua is from North Carolina, loves music, and works as an optician.
"Should" never helped Joshua quit drinking. Focusing on what he wanted from his life helped him shift his thinking and made an alcohol-free life possible.
Joshua's first drink was a Zima at a party in high school. He was generally a good kid and had a strong desire to belong. He recognized that alcohol did something for him early on before it did something to him. The first time he recalls getting drunk, he felt a euphoric escape. Alcohol was liberating and medicating. In college, a sneakiness appeared in his drinking. He wasn't aware of alcohol being problematic until 2014.
After divorcing, pent-up resentments led to accelerated drinking for Joshua. His drinking progressed. He attended his first AA meeting in 2017. After several false starts, AA helped him get 18 months of continuous sobriety. He stopped working his program and returned to drinking. He began to observe his drinking, and by Halloween, a dream helped him realize he wanted to be his best, and alcohol wasn't part of that vision.
Joshua credits AA for helping him and describes AA as binary; he has a realistic view of their history and acknowledges that many options are available for recovery today. Therapy helped him with harm reduction and to be less black and white. Josh says quitting alcohol is hard, but the complications of drinking make your life exponentially harder. He is happier, more grateful, and knows the perceived benefits of alcohol were a lie. Life still has its ups and downs, which are easier to manage.
Odette's final thoughts:
You are enough. You are everything you need. You are loved. You are worthy. You are whole and complete, and you deserve a peaceful life.
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
Sponsors:
BetterHelp: www.betterhelp.com/elevator
Affiliate Link for Amazon: Shop via Amazon using this link.
The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources: Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
"Recovery Elevator –lighten up! | |||
| RE 364: Booze Cruise | 07 Feb 2022 | 01:17:49 | |
Episode 364 – Booze Cruise
Today we have Ben. He is 41 from England and took his last drink on September 26, 2021.
Exact Nature exactnature.com Code: RE20
Highlights from Paul
Paul shares some highlights from Recovery Elevator's recent trip to Costa Rica. The group wound up on a booze cruise, remained sober, and had more fun dancing, swimming, and connecting than others who were drinking. The group trusted Paul and had a blast.
Anxiety and depression often happen when we feel disconnected. Paul described driving through Montana in a location where people waived to one another on the road. That simple gesture was a form of mini-connection; it feels good and elevates dopamine levels in a healthy way. When you perform an act of kindness, it always provokes another. Paul suggests waiving at someone at a stoplight and reminds us that the opposite of addiction is connection.
Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator
[11:29] Ben looks at not drinking as an opportunity, not a punishment. The work inspires him, and it feels like a reward.
Ben is a musician; he's single and age 41. He loves reading, movies, exercise, board games, video games and aspires to get into amateur dramatics. He no longer needs alcohol to have fun, experience life, and do the things he can write songs about. His mindset is now hopeful and optimistic vs. trapped and hopeless.
Ben started drinking as a teenager at a party. He was under lots of pressure because he was into rock music, had long hair, and nobody approved. Drinking gave him an escape. He never drank when he played because he enjoyed the euphoria of performing. It was "game on" at the afterparties. He developed an eating disorder, which led to binge eating, drinking, and then starving. Hypnotherapy helped his eating disorder, giving him a sense of peace. Writing down what he ate to address his eating disorder helped Ben identify patterns in his drinking.
As his drinking progressed, it began to impact his performances. He often drank on the tour bus all night and partied into the next day. Anxiety, paranoia, and confusion crept into his daily life. He was constantly looking for something fun and continued drinking to avoid reality. He began drinking alone, which impaired his ability to enjoy music. Consequences began to emerge. Ben explored AA, and he was initially put off by those who continued coming to meetings after decades of sobriety. During his first share, he broke into tears. He was shaken to discover how much alcohol meant to him. His drinking progressed, and he became reckless. At some point, he recognized he was powerless over alcohol.
In 2021, Ben had three scary incidents that involved his work, health, and a friendship. He was scared sober. Initially, it wasn't difficult. Finding a new addiction or habit was his initial plan. He spent hours playing computer games and was grateful because those hours were time he wasn't drinking. Ben treats his sobriety like the levels of a computer game, adding new behaviors with each progression.
Odette's Summary Odette speaks about "The Happiness Trap," a book she is discussing with her therapist. It debunks the myth that we are supposed to be happy all the time. The daily actions we take allow us to feel joy, pain, and boredom. Even uncomfortable actions propel us toward a life we want.
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
Recovery Elevator – embrace the journey of becoming. I love you guys. | |||
| RE 363: The Most Powerful Pharmacy in the World | 31 Jan 2022 | 00:49:59 | |
Episode 363 – The most powerful pharmacy in the world
Today we have Brian. He is 48 years old and from Ohio. His last drink was on March 31, 2019.
For more information about our Denver event, please go here.
Exact Nature www.exactnature.com Code: RE20
Highlights from Paul: How do you leverage the brain to work in your favor?
Acknowledge there is a problem. Make sure your mental energies match your goal. Use the thinking mind to pull up a good memory (vacation, significant accomplishment). The cycle: The more the nervous system is in check, the more you want to do things that bring you joy. The more you do something that brings you joy, the more your nervous system calms down.
Listen to the nature sounds playlist. We forget that we come from nature; we evolved with crickets and blue jays. All you need to do is listen to nature sounds and allow them to calm the nervous system.
BetterHelp: www.betterhelp.com/elevator
[11:19] Odette introduces Brian
Brian has been sober for 1000 days. He is from Cleveland, Ohio, likes mountain biking, the outdoors, art museums, and travel.
Drinking became an issue for Brian after high school. He experimented with drinking, pot, and methamphetamines. He was an addict for a year and eventually went to rehab. He dropped illicit drugs and continued drinking. His family drank, so they wanted him to quit drugs but continue drinking. Brian did everything to excess. He had two failed marriages, and his drinking always led to bad situations. He believed he could control his drinking.
In 2018, Brian started a new job. He blacked out at the end of a training event, and he knew he had to quit. He stopped on April 1 but was a dry drunk. He was always angry. He didn't know what to do because drinking was always a reward.
Today, Brian listens to podcasts and finds the similarities. He meditates. Regulating his emotions has been a struggle, but it's getting better. Café Re drove his recovery. His goal is not to be an embarrassment anymore. Brian removed himself from all his prior activities to avoid triggers. Now he follows the 7 Habits, s, lives his values, and sobriety is his number one priority. He appreciates his wife's support, and they have a solid partnership. After a year of firsts (holidays, anniversaries), he felt stronger in his recovery. He is a better husband, a better stepdad, and his career has progressed.
You may have to say adios to booze if...
If you find yourself crying in the shower, not knowing how you got to your room.
Odette's final thoughts:
Getting through a year of firsts is a legitimate challenge. Don't let the images of sobriety being easy or perfect discourage you. Sobriety takes time. It is uncomfortable; it is normal to feel angry; it's not always fun. Focus on doing the next right thing. It gets better.
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
Sponsors:
Exact Nature www.exactnature.com Code: RE20 BetterHelp: www.betterhelp.com/elevator
Affiliate Link for Amazon: Shop via Amazon using this link.
The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources: Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
"Recovery Elevator –we took the elevator down; we need to take the stairs back up - I love you guys." | |||
| RE 362: Acceptance is the Answer | 24 Jan 2022 | 01:03:16 | |
Today we have Noelle. She is 31 years old and from Colorado. Her last drink was on June 24, 2019.
Highlights from Odette
Odette is working on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) with her therapist. ACT encourages people to embrace their thoughts and feelings rather than fighting or feeling guilty for them.
Odette is learning not to shove her feelings away but to accept them and learn not to fuse them. Embracing negative thoughts can propel you into the right thoughts and behaviors.
If I let this thought guide what I can do, will it help me create the life I want? Use the thought if it helps; diffuse it if it's not helpful.
betterhelp.com/elevator
[8:54] Kris introduces Noelle
Noelle has been sober for 2.5 years – over 900 days! She is an engineer and works with her brother. She has a Doberman and loves hiking, skiing, and getting outside to enjoy Colorado.
Noelle had a fake ID at 17 and always thought about how to get alcohol easier. She got into college because of her basketball skills. She got a DUI at 18, but there were no consequences. She and others justified her drinking because she excelled academically, professionally, and in basketball. She drank to get drunk. She crashed her truck for her 2nd DUI, and the consequences didn't faze her yet. She continued to excel professionally. Workaholism and alcoholism went hand in hand for Noelle.
Noelle's got her third DUI at age 27. She went to jail and had five months of work release and in-home detention. She accepted a TOP 30 under 30 business award, but she wore an ankle monitor during the awards ceremony and slept in a cot in jail that night. Six months later, she stopped drinking. She was a dry drunk; she just removed the alcohol. She had a one-day relapse. The following day she went to an AA meeting. Noelle has now learned that sobriety is about quality vs. quantity. She has a sponsor, is working the steps, and spiritual elegance is part of her journey.
At her sponsor's urging, she wrote a drunkalogue which helped her see the wreckage of her past and the risky behavior. Noelle has learned that you are exactly where you are supposed to be. She is now learning to live in peace with unsolved problems.
Noelle met Odette in April when she was hiking at Zion National Park. Meeting Odette was a higher power "God shot" moment in front of hundreds of people. Recovery Elevator podcasts were critical to her early recovery and AA meetings.
You may have to say adios to booze if...
You get a Denver Business Award journal for the Top 30 Under 30 and sleep in a cot in jail that night.
Kris's final thoughts:
Kris spoke about the impact that his drinking had on his loved ones. A door opened after a challenging conversation with his wife. Acknowledging her comments, he was scared and hopeless and beginning to face the consequences of his actions. Faith carried Kris through, and he reminds us to do the next right thing. We heal with each step we take.
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
Sponsor: BetterHelp www.betterhelp.com/elevator
Affiliate Link for Amazon: Shop via Amazon using this link.
The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources: Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
"Recovery Elevator –the door has been opened; let's walk through this together- I love you guys." | |||
| RE 361: A Healthy Cycle | 17 Jan 2022 | 00:58:07 | |
Today we have Eric. He is 58 years old and from New Jersey. His last drink was on February 10, 2019.
The RE Alcohol Free Ukulele course registration is open! Sign up here.
For more information about our Denver event, please go here.
From Paul: Why is working with the nervous system so important?
The cycle: The more the nervous system is in check the more you want to do things that bring you joy. The more you do things that bring you joy, the more your nervous system calms down.
Listen to the nature sounds playlist. We forget that we come from nature, we evolved with the crickets and blue jays. All you have to do is listen to nature sounds and allow it to calm the nervous system.
[10:03] Odette introduces Eric.
Eric is 58 years old and from New Jersey. He is a teacher. He also enjoys performing in theater as well as teaching theater. For fun he likes hiking and going to the gym. Being in nature is important to him.
He grew up around alcohol and for him it was very normalized. As a kid in high school, he would take beer from his father and drink them on camping trips. In college is where he said his drinking ramped up. He was able to get drunk very fast and he began to black out from time to time.
After two DUIs in the Midwest he took a job in New Jersey and continued drinking. He then received a 3rd DUI and a 4th DUI. But because it was in a different state he skated under the radar and was able to deal with lower ramifications.
February 10, 2018 his mother passed. He thought to him as he was on the plane home "Now the healing can begin". He's been learning what that means ever since.
You may have to say adios to booze if...
you are now dealing with your 5th DUI and you still think it's just a glitch and it's not a problem.
Odette's final thoughts:
Don't put so much pressure on yourself. Get off the rat race and be kind to yourself. Take a moment today and focus on something good. Accept where you are.
Upcoming events, retreats and courses:
Sponsors:
Exact Nature www.exactnature.com Code: RE20 BetterHelp: www.betterhelp.com/elevator
Affiliate Link for Amazon: Shop via Amazon using this link.
The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources: Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
"Recovery Elevator –stay awkward and weird, you won't regret it- I love you guys." | |||
| RE 360: The Nervous System | 10 Jan 2022 | 00:51:34 | |
Today we have Lane. She is from San Francisco. Her last drink was on December 30, 1996.
The RE Alcohol Free Ukulele course registration opens January 7th 2022. Sign up here. For more information about our Denver event, please go here.
Paul reminds you that you're declining one drink at a time. When we think about quitting drinking, a scenario arises in our mind with 100's of people, simultaneously offering us drinks, all at once. That will never happen, and just like one day at a time, you're saying no to one drink at a time.
As Paul mentioned at the end of last year he wants to cover the Nervous System, which is what he'll be covering today, and in future episodes. Today he covers why it's important to have a balanced nervous system and he explains, in layman's terms, what the nervous system is.
[11:38] Odette introduces Lane.
Lane is in her 50s, and lives in San Francisco, CA. She took her last drink on December 30, 1996. Lane is a wife and mother and a mindfulness and meditation teacher. Lane loves to hike, listen to really good music and dance.
Lane had her first drink at the age of 12 and blacked out. This pattern continued with her into her 20s. She loved the effect that alcohol had on her. She was very involved in sports during school and nobody knew she was drinking like she was.
Everything on the outside looked normal, but on the inside she depended on that drink. She didn't think she had a problem because her friends drank like she did. To be hungover was normal, was life.
It wasn't until she sent her best friend to the hospital with a concussion, while in a blackout, that she started to think that something was wrong with her drinking.
On New Years Eve (1996) she went to a "meeting" with some friends, unknowingly this meeting turned out to be an AA meeting. She heard the message of recovery that night and had hope.
When Lane was 5 years sober she fell into Buddhism and found a way out, through prayer and meditation and that has been the golden thread throughout the last 20 years of her recovery.
Lane says becoming a mother 12 years ago has been the most challenging thing in her recovery.
You may have to say adios to booze if...
you just drank and you get into a car and you drive.
Odette's final thoughts:
Take care of yourself, believe in yourself and believe in possibility.
Upcoming events, retreats and courses:
Sponsors: SOBERLINK:Did you know there are 15 million people in the U.S. with an Alcohol Use Disorder? And yet, there is still a stigma that surrounds addiction and recovery. We need to stop being ashamed and start sharing in our sobriety. That's why we're so excited to have a sponsor like Soberlink who shares in our beliefs. If you haven't heard of the Soberlink alcohol monitoring system, it's the perfect accountability tool for those in recovery. It can help you rebuild trust and get back on track despite slips or relapses. We've teamed up with Soberlink to provide you with "Tips for Handling a Relapse" which is a guide that can be downloaded at www.soberlink.com/recovery-elevator. On that page, you'll also find a form to sign up for a $50-off promo code for you or a loved one who is ready to take the next step in their recovery journey.
Exact Nature exactnature.com Code: RE20
Affiliate Link for Amazon: Shop via Amazon using this link.
The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources: Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
"Recovery Elevator –together is always better- I love you guys." | |||
| RE 359: Silence Bruno | 03 Jan 2022 | 00:50:51 | |
Today we have Shea. She is 42 years old and from Michigan. Her last drink was on August 9, 2021.
The RE Dry January course: REstore began January 1. There's still time to join us! Sign up here. The RE Alcohol Free Ukulele course registration opens January 7th 2022. Sign up here. For more information about our Denver event, please go here.
From Paul: "I cannot tell you how to quit drinking"
For Paul the most important thing that helped him along his journey to being alcohol free is: accountability. Paul tells his story of one of his attempts to stop drinking in 2014. He told his family he needed help.
Paul's 2022 goal is simply: To be sober.
As he continues to build time away from alcohol, he wants to remind listeners that even he doesn't have it all together. And the thing he's most proud of is the ability to recognize the insanity of his own thinking mind.
* Silencio Bruno *
[09:03] Odette introduces Shea.
Shea is 42 years old and from Michigan. She took her last drink on August 9, 2021. She has two boys, a full time physicians assistant for cardiac surgery and is also in Law School. For fun she loves to move her body, recovery related activities and build community.
In Shea's senior year of high school she began to develop coping mechanisms for trauma through her life. At first the focus was on an eating disorder and then she turned to alcohol. Immediately she took to alcohol and drugs and she lost all fear. While she knew this path was wrong, she wanted freedom and thought it was here. By 18 she had developed an addiction to heroin, but focused on school with daily drinking. During this time she also attended her first AA meeting. Through some admitted luck she was able to avoid jail time and was put into a court appointed drug and alcohol program.
After 13 years (2015) of alcohol and drug recovery she decided she wasn't an addict anymore and began to drink again and would be able to moderate. Before the first glass of wine was done she was planning the second.
The community and steps of AA work for her, knowing that there are a million different avenues she can take to recovery has made her experience this time around different and meaningful. Finding and accepting her own self honesty has given her freedom.
You may have to say adios to booze if...
you are finding bottles in your basement in old boxes and you don't remember putting them there.
Odette's final thoughts:
This is a great time to set some goals and intentions. Write down what you want to happen this year.
Upcoming events, retreats and courses:
Sponsor: Exact Nature exactnature.com Code: RE20
Affiliate Link for Amazon: Shop via Amazon using this link.
The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources: Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
"Recovery Elevator –together is always better- I love you guys." | |||
| RE 483: NA Beers | 20 May 2024 | 00:50:53 | |
Episode 483 – NA Beers
Today we have Tyler. He is 37 and lives in Phoenix, AZ. He took his last drink on November 28th, 2023.
Recovery Elevator welcomes Danielle Marr to the team! She now writes the bi-monthly newsletter for RE which always has journalling prompts at the end. She taught our DTB writing course this last fall and does Instagram posts a couple days a week. She was also interviewed on episode 464.
To subscribe to the Recovery Elevator newsletter, click here and wait for the box to pop up.
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[03:35] Thoughts from Paul
Paul shares with us the history of NA beers and how they were created to pacify the Mothers Against Drunk Drivers campaign back in the 90's. The companies had zero intention of scaling this segment of their business and it has been said that the purposefully made the beer tasteless and bland.
Those days are gone. Non-alcoholic beer sales have been growing every year by 30-40% since 2019. Many of the major beer brands are investing time and money into creating their own NA products and there are more breweries popping up that are 100% dedicated to making an AF craft beer.
There is no need to explore the NA beer world in the early days of your alcohol-free life because it can be triggering. There is trace amount of alcohol in many of the NA beers (usually less than 0.5%) and you would have to drink 25-30 of them to reach the legal BAC. Check out this Instagram post where someone drinks several NA beers and stills blows zeros into a breathalyzer.
What the AF beer world exploding shows is that people are waking up to the fact that alcohol is not good for you and big alcohol sales are reflecting that. The stigma around alcohol addiction is also crumbling. We as consumers decide every move a business makes – start asking for more AF options at restaurants and grocery stores. Start asking and you will receive.
Go Brewing. Use the code ELEVATOR for 15% off.
[09:58] Paul introduces Tyler:
Tyler is 37 years old and lives in Phoenix, AZ and has a six-month-old daughter. He does maintenance for a homeowners association. Tyler is also a musician and enjoys performing, writing, and recording music.
Tyler had his first drink when he was in high school as simply a fun thing to do with friends. A health scare which ended up with tumor removal drove Tyler to feel he needed to live life to the fullest. He says his drinking increased as it was associated with having fun, and he discovered his passion for being a musician. That found him romanticizing alcohol, drinking more after gigs, and acquiring DUIs. Since a lot of people he knew had DUIs, it was considered normal and wasn't taking seriously.
When he lost a close family member to cancer, Tyler says his drinking evolved from good and bad to ugly. He and his girlfriend went out often, and his drinking became more frequent both while out and while at home. Tyler had a lot of anger that would come out while drinking. These issues eventually found Tyler and his girlfriend splitting up.
Tyler started going to therapy and discovered that the loss of his aunt affected him more than he realized. He was able to process some of his anger and cut back on his drinking. He and his girlfriend got back together and six months ago their daughter was born. Tyler began to realize that his drinking was interfering with this new life and told his girlfriend he was ready to quit. At this time, he also reached out to a supportive cousin that has over 20 years in recovery.
Tyler says AA didn't resonate with him, but books, podcasts and other peoples' stories have been very helpful. He believes in recovering out loud.
Café RE – promo code OPPORTUNITY waives set up fee.
Recovery Elevator I love you guys. Go big because eventually we'll all go home. | |||
| RE 358: Don't Forget to Sing Your Song | 27 Dec 2021 | 01:01:07 | |
Episode 358 – Don't Forget to Sing Your Song
Today we have Randy. He is 43, from Indianapolis, and took his last drink on December 30, 2016.
Registration is now open for Restore which begins January 1,2022. https://www.recoveryelevator.com/restore/
Highlights from Paul
This week's tips from Paul include: 1) not everyone drinks, 2) sing, 3) give yourself a hug and say I love you.
There is a lot of uncertainty in the world and change is hard. Find your song, that melody in your soul that is uniquely you that you sing over and over. You are the master creator of your life. https://www.recoveryelevator.com/meditations/
Exact Nature exactnature.com Code: RE20
[9:27] Randy has been sober for nearly 5 years. He is married with 4 kids and loves animals and running.
Randy was on episode 129. Randy was in the restaurant business, and he was always surrounded by people who drank. Toward the end, the hangovers and anxiety began to take a toll on him.
Drinking was a reward for Randy. Today, Randy doesn't have to think about drinking. He isn't spending money on alcohol. Now he can afford season tickets to the Colt's game. He doesn't have to think about getting there or getting back, because he is sober.
Randy is now methodical vs living on instant gratification. He is more approachable and he loves giving service to others.
Initially watching football was really hard for Randy, because the sport was so engrained with alcohol. Now he enjoys games more than ever.
Kris's Summary Kris speaks to the term chosen family. Kris' recovery family wants him to be successful and free. They take him at his best and his worst. They laugh together, cry together, dance and walk the path together. We need to open up, be vulnerable and let others love us until we learn to love ourselves. You can do this.
Sponsor: Exact Nature exactnature.com Code: RE20
Holiday 2021 AF Survival Guide
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
| |||
| RE 357: Practice Saying No | 20 Dec 2021 | 00:57:42 | |
Episode 357 – Practice Saying No
Today we have Jenn. She is 34, from Michigan, and took her last drink on April 10, 2020.
Registration is now open for Restore which begins January 1,2022. https://www.recoveryelevator.com/restore/. AF Ukulele course starts 2/5/22 at 3 PM EST. https://www.recoveryelevator.com/ukulele/
Highlights from Paul
Paul talks about the parameters for success. There's an unhealthy paradigm in the sobriety world that it's all a bust if we drink once. While continuous sobriety is the ultimate goal, getting there is never pretty, and most likely is launched off a series of relapses or field research. If you are drinking less than you did last holiday season, that's a huge improvement.
This week's tips from Paul include: 1) say no, 2) practice saying no, 3) create your own pep talk.
Sometimes the desire to stop drinking only swirls in our thoughts. Don't underestimate the power of thought. Our thoughts are powerful. They create our world. Immediately discard the thoughts that don't align with your goals. Deconstruct them and become aware of thoughts that are not congruent with what you want and need in life. Use the thinking mind for creation and visualization. Visualize that you no longer drink. Repeat it, say it out loud and repeat it again. What you put in is what you get back. https://www.recoveryelevator.com/meditations/
Exact Nature exactnature.com Code: RE20
[12;43] Jenn took her last drink April 10, 2020. She has a husband, two children and loves hiking, being in nature and spending time with her family.
Jenn said from her first sip of alcohol she felt some inner peace. Her first black out was at age 14. She started off with a bang and got in plenty of trouble. She experienced some trauma and started to use alcohol as her coping mechanism. She had suicidal ideations and started cutting. She drank a 5th a night. Before she turned 21, she added cocaine.
She was a functioning alcoholic through her twenties and early thirties. In her thirties, her drinking took on a dark shift. She was suicidal and she knew that she had to save herself and get some help. Jenn had to be brutally honest with herself. She was asking the wrong people for help. Her internal and external worlds were completely opposed.
Jenn had multiple attempts at sobriety. She worked with a therapist for two years and real change began. The accountability of Café RE reinforced her commitment to sobriety. She is now a recovery coach.
Odette's Summary Odette reminds us that change starts with us. If you are waiting for things to change, for people to change, for life to change, you may be waiting for a long time. Recovery is our responsibility. Everything that we wish to see in others needs to start with us. Be the person you wish everyone around you was and see how life can change.
"I really think the secret to being loved is to love. And the secret to being interesting is being interested. And the secret to having a friend is being a friend."
Sponsor: Exact Nature exactnature.com Code: RE20
Holiday 2021 AF Survival Guide
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
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| RE 356: Play the Tape Forward | 13 Dec 2021 | 01:01:19 | |
Episode 356 – Play the Tape Forward
Today we have Ashley. She is 35 from Orange County, CA, and took her last drink on January 7, 2006.
Registration is now open for Restore, which begins January 1, 2022. https://www.recoveryelevator.com/restore/ Café RE: https://www.recoveryelevator.com/cafere/
Highlights from Paul
Paul encourages you to check in with yourself about your feelings about your AF journey. There are more recovery modalities than ever. Keep searching for the one that works for you. This week's tips are: Play the tape forward. Treat yourself to a gift. Take three deep breaths into the lower lobes of the lung.
Drinking served a purpose for you initially. Alcohol suppresses your inner turmoil: It gives you a sense of calm. As you continue to suppress those voices, they grow louder, and you must drink more to make those feelings go away. If you continue to override your internal guidance system, you live life truly blind, and nothing of significance takes place. When do the miracles of sobriety occur? Day 1, day 500? It's up to you to find out. https://www.recoveryelevator.com/meditations/
Exact Nature exactnature.com Code: RE20
[12:45] Ashley took her last drink on January 7, 2006. She is married, has twin boys, and in 2010 co-founded an SV start-up that offers online outpatient addiction treatment. She has a podcast called the courage to change. https://www.lionrock.life/couragetochangepodcast She is finishing her MBA, loves yoga, the outdoors, reading and comedy. Since she got sober at 19, she has been revisiting fun at her current stage of life.
Ashley's first drink was a beer she stole from her parents' fridge, and it took her a week to finish it. She felt like she was born with her skin too tight and always believed she was too much. She tried to make herself into what others wanted her to be.
Ashley hired alcohol and drugs to do a job for her to make her feel okay and want to be on the planet. By age 14, she was addicted to cocaine. Through a boyfriend, she got addicted to heroin. She was sent to several lockdown programs that were popular in early 2000. She couldn't stay sober in treatment. She would create disasters, leave, and change treatment centers. She eventually left treatment and decided to drink instead of doing drugs.
In 2006 she started going to AA meetings, listening, and letting go of her old ideas, which was hard to do. Her life became different when she let others help her and did what they said. She went to college, had relationships, and started a company. Instagram: @sobermomsquad ; https://www.lionrockrecovery.com/
Ashley went to meetings four days a week in early sobriety and participated in the fellowship. Ashley did not heal her trauma in 12-step; therapy was essential for Ashley to do the work. A young people's AA group in So CA allowed her to meet some great young people, and they partied without the alcohol. She has been reinventing her recovery since having children.
Odette's Summary Where do I feel safe enough to be my best calm self?
Sponsor: Exact Nature exactnature.com Code: RE20
Holiday 2021 AF Survival Guide
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
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