Explore every episode of the podcast Real Life with Radelle

In this episode of Real Life with Radelle, Radelle Jensen, a registered psychologist, introduces the foundations of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, or CBT.

The way we interpret an event can influence how we feel, how our bodies respond, and what we do next. This does not mean that every thought is true, that difficult experiences are our fault, or that we can simply “think positive” to solve every problem. Instead, CBT helps us notice the stories our minds create and evaluate whether those stories are accurate, helpful, or connected to a real concern.

In this episode, Radelle discusses:

● Why the same situation can lead to very different emotional reactions

● How interpretations can influence stress responses and behaviour

● Common cognitive distortions, including mind reading, catastrophizing, all-or-nothing thinking, overgeneralizing, “should” statements, personalization, and emotional reasoning

● Why CBT is not about gaslighting yourself or ignoring genuine problems

● How to distinguish between an unhelpful thinking pattern and an accurate concern

● The importance of noticing automatic thoughts before trying to change them

● How creating space between an event and your response can support greater choice and flexibility

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About Radelle Jensen

Radelle Jensen is a registered psychologist who provides general psychological education and advice through Real Life with Radelle.

Radelle also offers a parenting course called Being a Happy, Connected Parent, designed to help parents build stronger relationships with their children and create more connection in everyday family life.

You can learn more about the course here:

https://beholdtheconnection.podia.com/being-a-happy-connected-parent

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Disclaimer

The information shared on Real Life with Radelle is for general educational and informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for individualized psychological assessment, diagnosis, treatment, or professional medical advice.

Every person and situation is different. The strategies discussed in this episode may not be appropriate for everyone, and listening to this show does not create a psychologist-client relationship with Radelle Jensen.

If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, feel that you may be at risk of harming yourself or someone else, or need urgent medical or psychological support, contact your local emergency services or go to the nearest emergency room. If you are in Canada or the United States, you can call or text 988 for immediate crisis support. If you are elsewhere, contact your local crisis line or emergency service.

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Research:

Hofmann, S. G., et al. (2012). The Efficacy of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: A Review of Meta-analyses. Cognitive Therapy and Research. The review identified 269 meta-analytic studies of CBT and reviewed a representative group of 106 across a broad range of psychological and health-related conditions. (PubMed)

Jamieson, J. P., Nock, M. K., & Mendes, W. B. (2012). Mind over matter: Reappraising arousal improves cardiovascular and cognitive responses to stress. Journal of Experimental Psychology: General. Participants who were taught to reinterpret stress arousal showed changes in cardiovascular responding and attention during a stressful task. (PubMed)

Buhle, J. T., et al. (2014). Cognitive reappraisal of emotion: A meta-analysis of human neuroimaging studies. Cerebral Cortex. Across 48 neuroimaging studies, cognitive reappraisal consistently recruited cognitive-control regions and modulated amygdala activity. (PubMed)

Berboth, S., & Morawetz, C. (2021). Amygdala-prefrontal connectivity during emotion regulation: A meta-analysis. Neuropsychologia. Findings support the involvement of prefrontal-amygdala connectivity during cognitive regulation and reappraisal of emotion. (PubMed)

Atlas, L. Y. (2023). How Instructions, Learning, and Expectations Shape Pain and Neurobiological Responses. Annual Review of Neuroscience. Research on expectancy and placebo effects demonstrates that expectations can influence subjective pain through identifiable neural systems. (PubMed)

Ren, J., et al. (2025). Activation Likelihood Estimation Meta-Analysis of the Effects of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy on Brain Activation in the Treatment of Depression and Anxiety Disorders. A meta-analysis of 22 studies involving 443 patients found changes in patterns of brain activation following CBT, including regions involved in emotion regulation and cognitive control. (PubMed)

Beck Institute for Cognitive Behavior Therapy. The cognitive model describes how our perceptions and spontaneous thoughts about situations influence emotional, behavioural, and physiological reactions; CBT teaches people to identify and evaluate these automatic thoughts rather than assuming they are facts. (Beck Institute)

The one where I explain my absence, how I had to work through some things to be willing to podcast again, listener responsibility, and what to expect moving forward!

I also mention that I am currently accepting new clients into my private practice (virtual, and you must be an Alberta resident). You can email me for information: radelle@radellejensenpsychology.com

It is tough times. This podcast is full of suggestions on how we can lift where we stand to better our life and the lives of those around you. 

The one where we parent like grandparents! We can learn a lot from the energy and lack of judgement that good and loving grandparents use. (Of course, I am speaking about my grandparents, and other grandparents who are good, kind, patient and loving).
No wonder people love being grandparents and wish they could have skipped right to that part, they are not so concerned and panicked over the outcome. They have the wisdom to know that everyone has a journey. I am taking a look at what mindset grandparents have and how we can infuse some of that vibe (I say vibe WAY too much in this episode) into our parenting now. I hope some of this podcast helps you today!

The parenting course that will change your life. This course meets you where you are & scoops you and your children up with so much love. GET IT HERE:
https://beholdtheconnection.podia.com

Grab my FREE happy music list here: https://beholdtheconnection.podia.com/courses/free-music-happy-list

This episode teaches the signs of burnout and what we can do to turn the ship around!

Grab my awesome and helpful parenting course here! https://beholdtheconnection.podia.com/connectedparenting

Tantrums! They stress parents out! I have good news! They are normal!
Learn more about my life-changing, self-paced parenting course HERE!

A few weeks ago I was criticized for taking a 24-hour break to myself at a hotel. So this time I took a 48-hour break. Please, women, support yourself in the ways that you need to. Our society is not set up well to support its women and moms. Only YOU know what you need as a mother. Take breaks BEFORE you crumble if possible. THIS is self-care. I find it so awful how AFTER we hear about a heartbreaking situation of a mom's suffering, we all say "we wish we knew." And yet, when that same mom is trying to take a break or get help, she is likely and often shamed.
It was so interesting to me to watch women’s discomfort with me taking time for myself. What does that tell us? Typically that type of reaction means women want this for themselves.

 I refuse to just survive in my life, I want to thrive. 

When I am burning out, it is a sign of unmet needs. I really don’t need to worry too much about how it happened or where to place blame, rather, I choose to take action. I am really honest with myself. I see myself getting more tired, snippy, and overall lacking a desire to be in my own life. These are messages to me that I am struggling.

I am not interested in hanging by a thread and then lashing out. I am interested in being mature and being in charge of how I show up in the world.

My parenting course can be found at: https://beholdtheconnection.podia.com/

Let’s discuss the moody kid who brings up for us all kind of feelings of disrespect or overwhelm or despair:

Repeat after me this mantra: 
this child’s mood is not mine to solve.

While connection is the goal, NO relationship is connected at all times. How would that be possible when we are human beings with moods and hormones and stress? 

Relationships have an ebb and flow - that’s is real life chock-full of real emotion. We can both hold the goal AND hold space for our (& our child’s) struggle.
In moments of struggle where you can’t get to compassion or connection - go neutral. 

Honestly, sometimes your child just needs their mood & to work through it and you can simply go and get on with your day. We forget that kids have moods and hard days like we do! Ideally, you show some compassion: 

Theirs are theirs to learn from and experience. 
We need to worry less about changing their mood and more about helping them navigate it and allowing their feelings! 

Stay in the row boat and out of the muddy pond (see -my parenting course!). Remember-two people stuck in a muddy pond is not useful. 
Go neutral.

MORE OF THIS type of help in my parenting course: 
https://beholdtheconnection.podia.com/
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It is so easy to be stuck right now. I get it! I am feeling it so much. I also wanted to share with you about pain. Clean pain and dirty pain. The cleansing waterfall of pain that we need and want to go through, VS the muddy pond of pain that we cause ourselves by getting "stuck" in our feelings. One is cleansing and healing, one is a pit of misery and stuckness. I hope this episode helps move you into the healing and cleansing pain again if you have been feeling stuck in the misery of the muddy pond as I have been.

As always, here is a link to my LIFE changing parenting course! I promise it will change so much for you. I have offered a monthly payment plan to help make it accessible. I hope that you will buy it and allow me to be the voice in your ear during these trying times: https://beholdtheconnection.podia.com/

If you like what you heard here, you can get my entire LIFE-CHANGING parenting course HERE
 https://beholdtheconnection.podia.com/being-a-happy-connected-parent 
with a 12-month payment plan to make it more accessible!!!

I understand how it can feel to want and need help with your parenting. There is NO course like this out there. It's NO fluff and real, life-changing help!

What if it was possible to LOVE the journey of raising your kids? 

What if you could be the parent that you know you are deep down, on a daily basis? What if all that is lacking is some learning from an awesome course?

 https://beholdtheconnection.podia.com/being-a-happy-connected-parent 

Building emotional skills in our kids will make them more brave, resilient and able to cope! However, many of us were not taught or modelled these skills of emotional intelligence and so, we can find ourselves really in the trenches while we parent.
Now, this is why I have a parenting course, which, over a year works out to just cents a day! Get it HERE:https://beholdtheconnection.podia.com/

THIS podcast episode also TEACHES you how to be with your child in their emotion. You will learn how your voice can sound. What words to use. How to name it to tame it. What happens if you label their emotion incorrectly. Why leading with the naming of the emotion and empathy HELPS your child gain emotional intelligence. HOW they can ACTUALLY feel the emotion. Not fluff, but rather HOW I teach my kids where and how to find the feeling in their body.
This is one not to miss! Go listen now and as always, SCREENSHOT and share for others to find it! 

What if WE can change our whole experience in life by being the person who brings the love. How much "control" would that give us? How could we influence a room, a family, a community for the better? Even if it ONLY changed how WE experience our own life and experiences, wouldn't that be amazing? To be the person who brings "the love" to a situation? Maybe it's what the world needs. We have enough people maybe who are being divisive and contentious, maybe we need a few more people who are bringing the love. 

The FREE printable that I was talking about on this episode is HERE: https://app.podia.com/products/behold-24-days-of-giving

grab it, download it and save it! Enjoy!

#bringthelove

HERE: https://beholdtheconnection.podia.com/

The parenting course the world has been aching for! This course is where children's brain science meets compassion and connection, with real-life tips and tricks! 
This course will change your life for the 18 years you raise your children and beyond.

I understand how it can feel to want and need help with your parenting. There is NO course like this out there. It's NO fluff and real, life-changing help!
We all want to experience happiness in parenthood, but sometimes, the truth is, it can feel so far away. 

START THIS POWERFUL AND AMAZING COURSE TODAY!

I received a question from someone whose partner reacts in large dramatic ways and tries to draw the other partner into arguments. This isn’t easy and navigating this takes emotional maturity. If you have a partner who is emotionally immature often, absolutely that is a struggle. It will feel a lot like navigating a relationship with a child or teen. I don't say that with judgement, I simply say that to empower you to know that the same tools I teach in my parenting course apply.  The question (after an explanation) was “how do we deal with someone else's big emotions?”

MY life-changing parenting course! https://beholdtheconnection.podia.com/connectedparenting

"I bought your course in the month it launched after my friend (who bought it earlier in the launch month) said it was absolutely brilliant. 
However, I didn't make it a priority until this last month. It is such a GAME CHANGER!! Why didn't I have these tools and ways of thinking through this whole pandemic? I am kicking myself for not listening sooner. It has made this month and every relationship in my life infinitely better. THANK YOU THANK YOU!!! I hope everyone takes the opportunity to buy your course. You should be so proud of its content. Thank you again." -Sonja

Who do you want to be in the world right now? How do you want to show up in relationships? WHO do you want to be as a parent?
How to show up for yourself and be in alignment is discussed in this episode. The world is in a LOT of tension and turmoil and it can absolutely be more difficult to feel light and breezy and joyfilled. It in fact, can be VERY easy to feel heavy and sad! Our brains are worried about what is next. This episode is meant to take your hand and show you the way out of the dirty sinking pond of hopelessness (that I feel somewhat in too!) to a place of CHOOSING who we want to be and how we want to show up.

MY LIFE CHANGING parenting course! Please check it out. It'll be one of the best investments of your LIVES. SO many people can attest to this! Give yourself THE GIFT OF PEACE!!! ---> https://beholdtheconnection.podia.com/

My LIFE-CHANGING parenting course! This truly is a game-changer!!! https://beholdtheconnection.podia.com/

This episode is all about how to navigate that world in between how WE want to parent (more connected, less critical) and how we may have been parented (harshly, critically). Some of you have written to me that your parents call your children "fat" or "brats" or will spank or hit your parents and have asked how to deal with that. Some of you have asked for help on how to ask your parents to just take a little step back. I hope this episode helps you look to the good in your parents ALL WHILE setting boundaries in love. It is worth a listen if you have ever struggled as a parent WITH your parents.

My AMAZING parenting course: https://beholdtheconnection.podia.com/connectedparenting 
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This episode is all about difficult people and how do we even deal with them?? How can WE stay in our power? What can WE learn? How can we cope and thrive within these more difficult relationships? I already know this will be a popular episode and a "must listen" because guess what? We ALL struggle with someone. Please share this with friends and let's help one another co-exist in peace!

WOULD YOU leave me a review? Pretty please? It helps others find me and get the mental health help that they may need. Just scroll on down! thank you!!!!!!

Is it possible that we can KNOW how we want to act, and yet, still struggle at times to show up that way? Is that allowed? Can we meet that place with heaps of self-compassion?! A large part of being able to accept that we are humans who sometimes ride the struggle bus is understanding WHAT our brains do during times of stress which contribute to us showing up a bit frazzled. This episode will meet you where you are at and remind you that it is okay to struggle during times of uncertainty and transition and that, when we stop judging ourselves, we can get through our stretchy-growy times with more ease through acceptance. This episode will bring a LOT of relief if you are struggling!

ALSO, my parenting course is a GAME-CHANGER for life: www.beholdtheconnection.podia.com

"Your parenting course has helped me grow emotionally more than 7 years of therapy has done. I cannot thank you enough for putting it into the world!!" 
-Vickie H.

We are scared to feel our feelings because of two reasons

1. We weren't allowed to in our childhood or two
2. We are scared to because what we think feeling our feelings looks like is an outburst, rage, yelling, and swearing. That isn’t feeling, that is reacting.

Because what was modeled for us was reacting to our feelings, we think that is the same as feeling them and we don’t want to go there. Reacting to our feelings in a huge outburst is almost always a release of a big pile of repressed feelings. 

When our feelings are denied in childhood, in adulthood we lose the ability to recognize our needs and meet them. Then we get resentful, lash out, and blame others. Or we internalize it all and it manifests as guilt, shame, and struggling.  Most people whose feelings were dismissed as a child feel, to one extent or another, unlovable now.  Or that one part of them is unloveable or shameful. 

To learn more about how to feel our feelings, check out this episode!

MY LIFE CHANGING PARENTING COURSE: https://beholdtheconnection.podia.com/

The parenting course that will change your life. This course meets you where you are & scoops you and your children up with so much love. Being a Happy & Connected Parent: https://beholdtheconnection.podia.com/

This episode talks about anxiety. About how it IS our brain's job to keep us safe and how resisting anxiety makes it so much worse. How anxiety always tells us 3 lies that we should consider pushing back against:

1. The worst is going to happen.
2. You can’t handle it.
3. This will last forever

Because anxiety can cause flightly feelings in our body, we often want to get rid of the anxiety - because we cannot tolerate the FEELING in our body. We resist the physiological feelings because no one has taught us how to allow them and breathe THROUGH them. However, the resistance often feels worse than just feeling, allowing, and processing the anxiety in your body. Much MORE info on this in the podcast. You can find my podcast (Behold the Connection) where most podcasts are hosted and yes, on iTunes! Leave me an awesome review!

LIFE CHANGING PARENTING HELP! --> https://beholdtheconnection.podia.com/
This podcast episode is about loving ourselves through tough times, tough thoughts and honoring our feelings. Most of us were raised to shove our feelings down and "power on". While that doesn't work in the long term, and lends itself to buffering (abusing or turning to distractions) it also doesn't create emotional growth. Emotional growth and resiliency is in allowing yourself to be a human being and not a robot, ALL WHILE knowing that we can create a different outcome with our thoughts. Oftentimes we are so busy judging ourselves for how we feel, that we don't ever process our feelings and move past them into a new space. But what if we allowed it all? What if we allowed the full human experience?

My life-changing parenting course --> https://beholdtheconnection.podia.com/connectedparenting
Use PODCAST for 10% off until the end of August!

This podcast focuses on relationships (marriage) where our brains like to make mountains out of molehills. Our brains like to be right and cause drama. Our brains want us to look at everything from every angle to assess for emotional or physical danger. But for those small things in life where our partner, being human, disappoints us, can we lean into the phrase "so what?". Have a listen to see how this has served me so well in both honoring my feelings and managing my mind.

My amazing-life changing parenting course! --> https://beholdtheconnection.podia.com/
This episode is all about how our brains want to give us a level 10 in panic about everything ALL the time. Thankfully, with practice, logic, and intention we can override the constant "you are going to die" or "you are going to fail" or "this is too hard" thoughts that our brain offers us. On the other side of panic is peace and confidence and assurance. Even when things are unknown, we can lean into our resiliency, strength, and confidence that WE CAN HANDLE new and unknown things. I can and you can too. Often times the bark is worse than the bite when we are really in things. We waste so much time stressing and worrying about unknowns, when really - we can handle whatever comes up. We've got this. I share a personal story on this episode and I hope it helps you!

*** Please scroll down and leave me a review! It helps other people find my podcast. Thank you!***

My LIFE-CHANGING parenting course! On sale! https://beholdtheconnection.podia.com/

In this episode I talk about how, whether its marriage or kids or schools going back open in a virus (or not going back- depending on where you live) we really should focus our energy and efforts on what we CAN control. Trying to control others is absolutely pointless. I find it valuable to make a list of pros and cons, being fully aware that there are cons to ANY situation in life (& pros!) and to choose both the positives and the negatives that I want to live with. I know that through controlling my thoughts I can also manage the "cons" as they come up in a way that best serves me.
*** Also, will you scroll down within the app and leave me a review?**

My LIFE-CHANGING parenting course! On sale! https://beholdtheconnection.podia.com/
(Makes an AMAZING gift!)

When attention flows, energy goes and the brain grows. Neuroscience tells us that we are growing our brain every single day and that through procedural learning, we can have a vastly different brain in a short amount of time. With depression on the rise, learning how to manage our thoughts and minds is ESSENTIAL. An unmanaged mind is an unhappy mind. In addition to this podcast, I teach this concept and the "how" in-depth in my course: https://beholdtheconnection.podia.com/connectedparenting

These are hard times. The world is uncovering oppression and tragedy at every turn, WHILE we are in the middle of a global pandemic. Seems easy to cope, right? Nope. Our nervous systems are not getting a break. This podcast discusses the mindset we need to lean into in order to keep our mental health intact as we advocate, share, make changes, and live in unprecedented times.

Further tips to help relax and re-regulate your nervous system:

Get fresh air, ideally in the sunshine

Movement (endorphins)

Talk to a friend (social distanced or on Marco polo or phone or text)

Have a healthy snack that you love

Have some recharge time alone (pair this with screens if need be)

Be mindful of your bedtime

Read a nourishing book

Do a meditation or coloring page while listening to music you love

Put up signs to do deep belly breaths

Learn something new with your kids

Listen to a module of my parenting course or podcast episode

Have an episode of a show to look forward to in downtime

Choose thoughts that serve you “I want this life” “Everything will be okay. We can figure all of this out” “the world can make the right choices”.

Remind yourself that resistance IS what makes the muscle stronger and friction is what makes the diamond polish

Release the emotion. Let the tears flow. Embrace emotion, don’t shame it away. You are allowed to have feelings.

My popular and life-changing parenting course! https://beholdtheconnection.podia.com/

You’ll hear my say that I really don’t believe in guilt and I believe even less in shame. What does this mean?

Let me break it down. I don’t believe in guilt as anything other than an emotion I've generated either with my thoughts or my subconscious beliefs which then my subconscious offers me thoughts. Here is why I am not a big subscriber to guilt or shame. My brain will always offer me a gilt thought to help me stay true to my values such as “you shouldn't have done that”. So again, I take a look at that thought and I either accept or reject it. AND THAT IS IT. That’s where guilt ends for me. Because then, I go on the beautiful suspension bridge, I want you to picture one, swinging and hopping along the way to the beautiful land of curiosity. This a land that grows beautiful flowers and tall grass and lush ferns. The land of guilt on the other side of the suspension bridge is a land of thorns and thistles and blazing hot sun where you get no relief and your energy is sapped and it’s hard to want to keep going on.

So- the land of curiosity- why do I go here? I go here because the greatest gift I can give myself is going to the land of curiosity. Our brains love having a job to do and a problem to solve. Listen to learn more.

My Parenting course!! ---> holdtheconnection.podia.com

Let’s talk about how ANGSTY the world is right now. I know you are feeling it. I’m feeling it. We are not ourselves. Essentially what is going on is the pandemic is triggering our automatic, primitive brain reactions to danger. Our brains are doing what they are designed to do. They are reacting dramatically to what they feel is life-threatening, unfamiliar, and unpredictable. When we feel like our survival is threatened we feel like we need to do something to feel like we're in control of our fate. I always teach that our brains #1 job is to keep us safe, and it is, and what is going on in the world right now is the exact conditions needed to stir up your brain’s threat detection system.
 
You can find my AMAZING PARENTING course at beholdtheconnection.podia.com

You can get 25% off by using the coupon code podcast

Our relationships and the feelings we feel about the people in our lives come from the thoughts we think about them. We interpret the things they do through the lens we use via the stories we’ve told from our thoughts. We have so much power in our relationships if we are simply consider the stories we are telling ourselves and wonder if they serve us. What new story could you write?
MY AMAZING PARENTING COURSE THAT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE! I promise!!
beholdtheconnection.podia.com

Share my podcast with your friends! Thank you! :)

Happy Mother's Day. This episode is a kick in the butt to remind you that you are worthy and wonderful right now. That you don't need to be "better" and that your children learn from both your strengths and your weaknesses, so just keep being a human! I hope that you leave this episode feeling empowered to just keep being you and choosing thoughts that serve you.
My parenting course that scoops you up in LOVE is on SALE for the weekend!!!!!!!!!!!! Grab it NOW!
https://beholdtheconnection.podia.com/connectedparenting

We ALL have a land of the shoulds and when our resources are low (meaning our coping is struggling) our mind just does a freaking fairy dance to that land. Remember your brain is designed to keep you safe NOT to keep you happy. It’s default is to keep you safe always and SO unless you are participating in CONSCIOUS thoughts (that you are choosing) and being mindful of your thoughts what your brain is doing is making sure you're not asleep on the job.
PARENTING COURSE: https://beholdtheconnection.podia.com/connectedparenting

The one where our nervous system just wants a villain when things are uncertain and scary. This podcast talks about how to take back charge of your brain.

Sometimes we want our children to behave differently so that WE can feel differently. But what if we just allowed it all? What if we held space for them being humans with normal feelings?

It is normal to feel anxiety. Nothing has gone wrong! Anxiety is useful and tells us what to be on the lookout for. BUT anxiety can quickly become disordered as our brain likes to memorize patterns of survival. This episode touches on how we answer anxiety, how we interrupt the anxiety loop and how we can find peace in our thoughts.

This episode will remind you that you have WHAT IT TAKES to succeed in life within you! This is the kick in the butt that you need to remember that you've got this. To slow it all down and have your own back. You can do hard things. Henry Ford once said, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right.

We have never been here before! This is all new! Is it okay to struggle for a little when your whole world is turned upside down and you are feeling grief and fear? I would hope so. Let's talk about how we can give ourselves and others grace.

Children encounter all sorts of stress in their lives, and yet, don't have fully developed brains to rely on to process all of the changes. This episode will help you support your children through COVID-19, but also any major life disruption.

We all can feel stress. But it's so interesting how nobody has taught us how to process it. We have ideas on what can help, but we don't know the science behind it. Today, I am going to direct you to how you can close the stress cycle in your body.

This episode will teach you the difference between managing your minds and feeling your feelings and will remind you to just be in the present moment. Instagram: @beholdtheconnection and facebook group: Being a happy and connected parent.

Nearly every parent's world just got turned upside down. The threat of COVID-19 is staring us in the face, and so are all of our children who just got sent home from school. Indefinitely. My direct messages on Instagram are FULL of people struggling to manage their minds, and so, even though I am not ready for a podcast yet in my business, I am showing up here to help. I hope that these initial shorter episodes take some pressure off of your anxiety and help you set your intentions for the day. I hope you know that I am cheering you on as your workload seems heavy right now. I hope that you will feel lighter and brighter after you listen to this episode. Even if just a little. XO Radelle