Explore every episode of the podcast Pure Desire Podcast
| Title | Pub. Date | Duration | |
|---|---|---|---|
| 379 - The Role of Intensives in Recovery | 08 Oct 2024 | 00:59:28 | |
Nick is joined by Robert Vander Meer and Matt Wenger to discuss the transformative impact of two-week intensives on sexual addiction recovery. This episode is a deep dive into the TINSA model (Trauma-Induced Sexual Addiction) exploring how intensives help uncover the "why" behind addiction and the importance of addressing both personal trauma and relational healing. Matt Wenger is the Clinical Director of Boulder Recovery in Boulder, Colorado. ResourcesGET STARTED Summit 2026!: Register Now Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group
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| 378 - Intimate Deception w/ Dr. Sheri Denham-Keffer | 01 Oct 2024 | 00:52:36 | |
Today’s guest, Dr. Sheri Denham-Keffer, is the author of Intimate Deception: Healing the Wounds of Sexual Betrayal, a therapist, and betrayed partner herself. Dr. Denham-Keffer shares insights on betrayal trauma, healing, and recovery. This episode offers hope and guidance for those facing betrayal or compulsive sexual behaviors. The discussion covers the impact of sexual deception, the importance of truth-telling, and practical steps for partners to rebuild their lives. ResourcesIntimate Deception: Healing The Wounds Of Sexual Betrayal FREE MONTH Of Brave One Community Brave One Recommended Resources FREE Pure Desire Counseling Consultation GET STARTED Summit 2026!: Register Now Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group
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| 369 - From Isolation To Collaboration w/ Nate Larkin | 30 Jul 2024 | 00:49:21 | |
Recovery doesn’t have to feel like solitary confinement. As with many areas of our lives, we need others to walk alongside us, to encourage and support us. And this is especially true when it comes to our recovery and healing journey. Today we’re revisiting Nate Larkin’s session from the 2023 Pure Desire Summit to learn what it looks like to redefine recovery as a team sport. In community is where recovery happens best. RESOURCESGET STARTED Summit 2026!: Register Now Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group
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| 279 - How To Support Pure Desire Groups At Your Church | 08 Nov 2022 | 00:41:23 | |
Effectively supporting our church’s Pure Desire groups is multi-faceted. The words we use from the stage during a weekend service, the oversight offered to group leaders, and the frequency of announcing groups—these all impact recovery and healing groups in our church. On today’s episode, we’re joined by one of our newest team members, Immanuel Garraway, our Church Relations Specialist. We talk through what to do and not do as we support our groups. We discuss what level of pastoral involvement we encourage. Plus, we talk through resources to help churches run effective, life-changing Pure Desire groups. RESOURCESGroup Leader Training (video course) Sexual Integrity 101 (video course) Immanuelg@puredesire.org (Immanuel Garraway's contact) GET STARTED Summit 2026!: Register Now Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group
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| 278 - The Four Pillars Of Sexual Love w/ Dr. Juli Slattery | 01 Nov 2022 | 01:03:18 | |
Sexual love is God’s beautiful creation. But for so many of us, our brokenness negatively impacts it. This past September at the Pure Desire Summit, Dr. Juli Slattery spoke on the four pillars of sexual love and what makes it such a beautiful gift from God. On today’s episode, we feature her Summit breakout session. Dr. Slattery covers how the importance of faithfulness, intimate knowing, sacrificial love, and a passionate celebration of covenant love all impact our sex life. RESOURCES2022 Pure Desire Summit Lifetime Access Authentic Intimacy (Juli's organization) God, Sex, and Your Marriage (Juli's new book) GET STARTED Summit 2026!: Register Now Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group
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| 277 - FAQ #14: Singles & Unmarried | 25 Oct 2022 | 00:56:36 | |
Recovery and healing as a single or unmarried person can often seem confusing. Is there something wrong or lesser about me because I'm not married? What does sexual health look like as a single or unmarried person? On today's frequently asked questions episode, we cover many different aspects of being single or unmarried in recovery and healing. We talk about sexual health and its expression as an unmarried person, what is "too much" to share with a significant other or friends, betrayal trauma as a single person, and A LOT MORE! RESOURCESUnraveled (Women's Recovery Resource) Seven Pillars of Freedom (Men's Recovery Resource) Living Free (College-Aged Men's Recovery Resource) Relapse Prevention Plan (Free Tool) Recovery Action Plan (Free Tool) GET STARTED Summit 2026!: Register Now Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group
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| 276 - A Partner Sensitive Approach To Healing From Betrayal w/ Dr. Barbara Steffens | 18 Oct 2022 | 00:56:07 | |
Healing from sexual betrayal is an incredibly important journey. In order to best help partners heal from the trauma experienced through sexual betrayal, we must understand what the partner needs. On today’s episode, we interview the founding president of The Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists (APSATS), Dr. Barbara Steffens. Dr. Steffens helps us understand what a partner-sensitive approach looks like (featured in our NEW Betrayal & Beyond resource), how this approach differs from other historical approaches, how the church can better serve betrayed partners, and why healing from betrayal trauma is so important. RESOURCESYour Sexually Addicted Spouse (Dr. Steffens' Book) Betrayal & Beyond Preorder (Women's Betrayal Resource) GET STARTED Summit 2026!: Register Now Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group
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| 275 - Running Effective Groups: Betrayal & Beyond | 11 Oct 2022 | 00:56:50 | |
Women who experience sexual betrayal need healing just as much as their addicted spouses. The damage that betrayal trauma creates is massive. Women need a place to heal and process their experiences. This is what Betrayal & Beyond was created for—a group context and healing resource that facilitates the healing God provides those who’ve experienced sexual betrayal. We are in week 4 of our Running Effective Groups series. Today, we’re focused on running effective Betrayal & Beyond groups. We look at why these groups are so important, what the NEW and UPDATED Betrayal & Beyond resource covers, and how to help facilitate this healing environment for women. RESOURCESBetrayal & Beyond—available for preorder (Women's Betrayal Resource) Groups Pathway (Free Resource) 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma (Free eBook) Sexual Integrity 101 (Video Course) Group Leader Training (Video Course) Unraveled (Women's Recovery Resource) GET STARTED Summit 2026!: Register Now Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group
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| 274 - Running Effective Groups: Unraveled | 04 Oct 2022 | 00:59:11 | |
Women who struggle with unwanted sexual behavior feel double shame. First off, they feel shame because of their struggle. Secondly, they feel shame because they struggle with an area often addressed as a “man’s issue.” Sexual brokenness is not a respecter of gender. Men and women both struggle with unwanted sexual behaviors. We are now in week 3 of our Running Effective Groups series. Today, we talk about running effective Unraveled groups—our recovery resource for women. We talk through why these groups are needed, how they fit into the discipleship model, and what challenges may arise when leading recovery groups for women. RESOURCESUnraveled (Women's Recovery Resource) Sexual Integrity 101 (Video Course) The Female Addict & Unraveled (Podcast) Leading Unraveled Groups (Podcast) Relapse Prevention Plan (Tool) Group Leader Training (Video Course) Genesis Process (Recovery Resource) GET STARTED Summit 2026!: Register Now Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group
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| 273 - Running Effective Groups: Seven Pillars Of Freedom | 27 Sep 2022 | 01:06:38 | |
Today is week 2 of our 4-week Running Effective Pure Desire Groups series. This week we look at our recovery groups for men: Seven Pillars Of Freedom. We spend time unpacking how to best run these 8-week Sexual Integrity 101 groups. We talk through who these groups are for, what is covered in the 8 weeks, and how this course is a catalyst for launching Pure Desire recovery and support groups. RESOURCESSeven Pillars of Freedom (Men's Recovery Resource) Sexual Integrity 101 (Video Course) Group Leader Training (Video Course) Recovery Tools: Commitment To Change (Podcast) Double Bind & Commitment To Change (Podcast) Making A Better Commitment To Change (Podcast) Recovery Tools: FASTER Scale (Podcast) 5 Tips On Using The FASTER Scale (Podcast) GET STARTED Summit 2026!: Register Now Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group
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| 272 - Running Effective Groups: Sexual Integrity 101 | 20 Sep 2022 | 00:55:01 | |
Today begins a 4-part series on running effective Pure Desire groups. Week 1 is focused on our introductory video course: Sexual Integrity 101. We spend time unpacking how to best run these 8-week Sexual Integrity 101 groups. We talk through who these groups are for, what is covered in the 8 weeks, and how this course is a catalyst for launching Pure Desire recovery and support groups. RESOURCES RESOURCESSexual Integrity 101 (Video Course) Relapse Prevention Plan (Three Circles Tool) GET STARTED Summit 2026!: Register Now Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group
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| 271 - Developing A Purity Ministry | 13 Sep 2022 | 00:48:45 | |
It's natural to want others to experience the healing and freedom Pure Desire groups have given us. But for so many of us, the notion of bringing groups to our church is daunting. This is why Pure Desire has created a roadmap for developing a purity ministry at your church. In today's episode, we want through each step of this roadmap and give encouragement on what it looks like to implement Pure Desire groups into your church. RESOURCESDeveloping Purity Groups (PDF) Sexual Integrity 101 (Video Course) Three Circles Tool (Relapse Prevention) GET STARTED Summit 2026!: Register Now Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group
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| 270 - Emotions Below The Surface (2021 Summit Session) | 06 Sep 2022 | 01:01:28 | |
This week, we throw it back to 2021 and the Pure Desire Summit! Robert Vander Meer taught a breakout session at the Summit titled, Emotions Below The Surface. As we are now only 10 days away from the 2022 Summit, we thought we'd give you a taste of what's in store. Spoiler alert: Robert is one of the plenary speakers at this year's Summit! Explore with us the emotions that live below the surface and how they impact our lives each day. If you like Robert's session, register for the Summit here. RESOURCESGET STARTED Summit 2026!: Register Now Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group
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| 368 - Rebuilding Life After Discovery | 23 Jul 2024 | 00:56:10 | |
The moment of discovery in a marriage or relationship is crushing. The exposure of sexual addiction or unfaithfulness wrecks the relationship. Is there any hope to rebuild? Should we even rebuild? On today's episode, we're joined by Traci Wright (Pure Desire Clinician). Traci knows firsthand the damage the discovery of sexual betrayal does. But she also knows the healing power of Jesus and walking a recovery and healing journey. With Traci's help, we talk through what it looks like to rebuild our lives after discovery. RESOURCESSeven Pillars of Freedom (Men's Recovery Resource) Betrayal & Beyond (Women's Betrayal Resource) International Institute of Trauma and Addiction Professionals (IITAP) Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists (APSATS) GET STARTED Summit 2026!: Register Now Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group
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| 269 - Going ALL IN For Recovery & Healing | 30 Aug 2022 | 00:48:27 | |
The theme of the 2022 Pure Desire Summit (Sept. 16-17, 2022) is “ALL IN.” But what does that mean? What does it look like to go “ALL IN” for our recovery and healing? On today’s episode, we talk through what an “ALL IN” approach to our healing journey looks like, how to identify our next steps in recovery, and the benefits of seeing recovery as a lifelong endeavor. RESOURCESGET STARTED Summit 2026!: Register Now Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group
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| 268 - Techless w/ Chris Kaspar | 23 Aug 2022 | 00:55:25 | |
One of the most needed guardrails in recovery revolves around technology. We consider how to use our computers or devices. One question many ask is, "What about my smartphone?" On today's episode, we talk to Chris Kaspar, CEO of Techless—a company offering a phone designed to cut out unnecessary distractions like social media, addictions, and advertisements. We talk to Chris about technology's impact on digital addiction, sexuality, and our relationships. We talk about Techless' new Wisephone and why it's a great option for cutting out the distraction technology creates in our lives. RESOURCESGET STARTED Summit 2026!: Register Now Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group
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| 267 - Rebuilding & Restoring Lives | 16 Aug 2022 | 00:54:57 | |
Part of the recovery journey is giving back. Sharing our story, leading Pure Desire groups, and even giving back financially. Today, we’re joined by two members of our advancement team, John Begeman and Rodney Wright. John and Rodney talk about the role generosity plays in the recovery process, how God is using donations to expand sexual health, and what major projects Pure Desire is working on. RESOURCESGroup Leader Training (Video Course) Sexual Integrity 101 (Video Course) How To Talk With Your Kids About Sex (Rodney's Book) Betrayal & Beyond (Women's Betrayal Resource) Seven Pillars Of Freedom (Men's Recovery Resource) GET STARTED Summit 2026!: Register Now Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group
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| 266 - Polygraphs & The Disclosure Process | 09 Aug 2022 | 00:45:47 | |
A common aspect of the full disclosure process is a polygraph. Polygraphs can carry a certain stigma with them. But what is a polygraph and what benefit does it offer a couple going through recovery and healing? Today, we’re joined by our Clinical Director, Tyler Chinchen. Tyler gives us an inside look at what a polygraph is, how it fits into the full disclosure process, and how it helps rebuild trust in a marriage. RESOURCESRecovery Action Plan (Struggling Spouse) Recovery Action Plan (Betrayed Spouse) Full Disclosure Process Counseling GET STARTED Summit 2026!: Register Now Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group
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| 265 - Finding Your True Self w/ Marilyn Vancil | 02 Aug 2022 | 01:09:07 | |
Each of us carries two types of “self.” Our authentic self—who God has made us to be. And our adapted self—the facade we’ve created to protect ourselves from pain and difficulty. On today’s episode, we talk to Marilyn Vancil, a spiritual director, coach, and author of Self To Lose, Self To Find. Marilyn talks us through how to identify which self we are living out of and what tools we can use to live out of who God made us to be. RESOURCESSelf To Lose, Self To Find (Marilyn's book) Beyond The Enneagram (Marilyn's book—coming October 18, 2022) Seven Pillars Of Freedom (Mens' Recovery Resource) Genesis Process (Recovery Resource) Relapse Prevention Tool (Three Circles) Should Christians Use The Enneagram? (Blog Post) GET STARTED Summit 2026!: Register Now Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group
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| 264 - Unmet Longings & Unhealthy Behaviors w/ Ben Bennett | 26 Jul 2022 | 01:02:39 | |
A switch gets flipped when we begin to understand why we do what we do (especially with our unwanted behaviors). This understanding isn’t gained easily, but when it is, it changes the whole game. On today’s episode, we’re joined by a friend of the show who is an author, speaker, and influencer to the next generation–Ben Bennett. Ben joins us to help us find the connection between our unmet longings and how they play out in our unhealthy behaviors. We also discuss how to meet these longings in healthy ways. RESOURCESRESOLUTION MOVEMENT (BEN’S ORGANIZATION) RELAPSE PREVENTION TOOL (THREE CIRCLES) GET STARTED Summit 2026!: Register Now Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group
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| 263 - Myth Busters: Self-Care Is Selfish | 19 Jul 2022 | 00:53:37 | |
Whether it’s been caught or taught, many of us believe self-care is selfish. We can so easily see and encourage it in others, but when it comes to our own self-care, we dismiss it as too “self-focused.” Why do we believe this? Does this belief cause damage? How can we change this underlying belief? Today, we are joined by Traci Wright (Pure Desire Clinician and author) to explore the myth “self-care is selfish” and discuss how to improve our personal self-care. RESOURCESGET STARTED Summit 2026!: Register Now Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group
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| 262 - Understanding Our Unwanted Behaviors w/ Jay Stringer | 12 Jul 2022 | 00:54:16 | |
We all have some form of unwanted behavior in our life. Whether it's pornography, affairs, fantasy, or any other form of sexual brokenness, understanding where these behaviors come from is essential! If we want to break free from our unwanted behaviors, we must understand them. If we truly want to understand our unwanted behaviors, we must be curious. This requires honesty, courage, and hard work. On today's episode, Jay Stringer, author of Unwanted and featured speaker at this year's Pure Desire Summit, joins us to help us get to the root of our unwanted behaviors and gives us direction on what it means to understand them. He also gives us a sneak peek into what he'll be sharing at the Summit. RESOURCES2022 Pure Desire Summit (Event) GET STARTED Summit 2026!: Register Now Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group
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| 261 - FAQ #13 | 05 Jul 2022 | 01:05:54 | |
On today’s new FAQ episode, we cover a lot. This is what these episodes are for: giving answers to tough questions. Today’s topics include emotional anorexia, white-knuckling, sexual content in video games, getting triggered at the gym, same-sex attraction, and more! RESOURCESRecovery Action Plan (Struggling Spouse) Recovery Action Plan (Betrayed Spouse) One-Sided Healing: Addicted (Podcast Episode) One-Sided Healing: Betrayed (Podcast Episode) Honesty vs. Disclosure (Podcast) Fear Of Sex During Recovery (Podcast Episode) GET STARTED Summit 2026!: Register Now Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group
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| 260 - The Pure Desire Podcast Turns 5! | 29 Jun 2022 | 01:08:32 | |
Today, our podcast turns 5! We’re so thankful for you (the listeners/viewers) for tuning in each week and encouraging us to keep pushing the conversation forward. On today's livestream recording, we're: reading some reviews of the show, talking through why we started and will continue to do the podcast, covering some Pure Desire history and the podcast, discussing where we are headed in the next year, and announcing exciting and upcoming developments at Pure Desire RESOURCESGET STARTED Summit 2026!: Register Now Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group
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| 367 - Stories Of Healing: Vicki & Johnny Greenfield | 16 Jul 2024 | 00:41:29 | |
Vicki and Johnny Greenfield are legends in the Pure Desire community! Today, we get to hear their story of healing. Starting with how sexuality was discussed in their homes, moving to sexual brokenness and how it entered their lives, and then moving to how God healed them and their marriage—their story is powerful! Not only will you be encouraged by their story of healing, but you will be inspired by how God is using them in their heart to help other hurting couples. Enjoy the Greenfield's story—it's incredible! RESOURCESSeven Pillars of Freedom (Men's Recovery Resource) Betrayal & Beyond (Women's Betrayal Resource) International Institute of Trauma and Addiction Professionals (IITAP) Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists (APSATS) GET STARTED Summit 2026!: Register Now Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group
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| 260 - Teaser | 28 Jun 2022 | 00:02:00 | |
We have a special invitation for you to join us live THIS AFTERNOON to celebrate 5 years of the podcast! Join us LIVE: CLICK HERE GET STARTED Summit 2026!: Register Now Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group
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| 259 - Starting Pure Desire Groups At Your Church | 21 Jun 2022 | 00:49:57 | |
When is the best time to start groups in my church? What should be my first steps? What if I don’t have buy-in from my pastor/leader? Do we need groups for men and women? These are the questions all of us ask when starting Pure Desire groups in our church. These and many other questions can leave us directionless and with little hope on starting groups. On today’s episode, we give direction on all of it. We talk through timing of groups, getting support from leaders, promotion, and introductory meetings. Starting Pure Desire groups at your church doesn’t need to be an uphill battle. Today’s conversation will help you get Pure Desire groups up and running. RESOURCESGroup Leader Training (video course) Sexual Integrity 101 (video course) Fight The New Drug's Brain, Heart, World (film series) Seven Pillars of Freedom (men's recovery resource) Betrayal & Beyond (women's betrayal resource) Unraveled (women's recovery resource) GET STARTED Summit 2026!: Register Now Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group
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| 258 - Faith, Sexuality, & Gender w/ Preston Sprinkle | 14 Jun 2022 | 01:05:20 | |
Is it possible to hold a biblical sexual ethic and love those who don’t hold to it? Our guest, Dr. Preston Sprinkle, works to answer this question in his work as the president of The Center For Faith, Sexuality, & Gender. Preston is the host of the Theology In The Raw podcast and is a New York Times Best-Selling author of books like People To Be Loved, Embodied, and Living In A Gray World. Preston joins us today to talk through the tension we experience between the Bible’s teaching on sexuality and our efforts to love those in the LGBTQ community. RESOURCESThe Center For Faith, Sexuality, & Gender (Preston's organization) Theology In The Raw (Preston's podcast) People To Be Loved (Preston's book) Living In A Gray World (Preston's book) GET STARTED Summit 2026!: Register Now Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group
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| 257 - 7 Tips As You Begin Healing From Betrayal | 07 Jun 2022 | 00:51:15 | |
Many of us who experience betrayal trauma are thrown into it. We didn’t cause it. We didn’t choose it. But here we are: suffering. The thought of pursuing our own healing when we experience betrayal seems unfair. Ultimately, it is. But we have the choice to step into healing for ourselves—to restore what has been broken and damaged. On today’s episode, we explore 7 tips or encouragements as we enter the journey of healing from betrayal. Heather Kolb, our Content Manager, joins us and shares from her experience and expertise. RESOURCESBetrayal & Beyond (Women's Betrayal Resource) Hope For Men (Men's Betrayal Resource) Sexual Integrity 101 (Video Course) Recovery Action Plan–Spouses (Tool) GET STARTED Summit 2026!: Register Now Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group
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| 256 - 7 Tips As You Begin Recovery From Addiction | 31 May 2022 | 00:52:38 | |
The journey of recovery from unwanted sexual behavior is not an intuitive one. There are many aspects we never knew to consider when working to create sexual health in our lives. When we do enter the recovery journey, there can be many ups and downs. That's why, on today's episode, we talk through 7 tips for those on the front end of their recovery from addiction journey. These are 7 tips we wish we knew as we started our journeys. RESOURCESSeven Pillars Of Freedom (Men's Recovery Resource) Unraveled: Managing Love, Sex, and Relationships (Women's Recovery Resource) Sexual Integrity 101 video course GET STARTED Summit 2026!: Register Now Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group
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| 255 - Restoring Our Vows w/ Brandon & Tonia Clark | 24 May 2022 | 00:58:08 | |
Like many marriages, Brandon and Tonia Clark experienced the damage of a pornography addiction. Through Brandon's addiction, they experienced crisis in their marriage and didn't know how to address the problem. Today, Brandon and Tonia join us to tell the story of how they restored their marriage and their vows and how they're using their story to help others do the same. RESOURCESRestored Vows Course (Covenant Eyes Free 14-day Video Course) Covenant Eyes (Accountability Software) GET STARTED Summit 2026!: Register Now Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group
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| 254 - Fear Of Sex During Recovery | 17 May 2022 | 00:50:19 | |
When entering the recovery and healing process, there can be lots of fear. Fears like "will this work?" or "can I really restore my marriage?" But one of the biggest fears couples face is the fear of re-engaging in their sexual relationship. Today, we are joined by clinicians, Robert and Rebecca Vander Meer, to talk through this fear and ways to work through it during the recovery process. RESOURCESSex During Recovery (Podcast Episode) GET STARTED Summit 2026!: Register Now Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group
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| 253 - Gaslighting, Manipulating, & Lying | 10 May 2022 | 00:54:37 | |
Men and women struggling with unwanted sexual behavior or sexual brokenness often work very hard to protect themselves. Protecting themselves from the pain in life and protecting themselves from the consequences of their behavior. This often takes the form of gaslighting, manipulating, and lying. On today’s episode, we’re joined by one of our clinicians, Eileen Fagan, to talk through why those struggling chose these behaviors, how spouses can identify them, and how couples can heal from their effects. RESOURCESGenesis Process (Michael Dye's Recovery Resource) Betrayal & Beyond (Women's Betrayal Resource) Hope For Men (Men's Betrayal Resource) Seven Pillars Of Freedom (Men's Recovery Resource) Recovery Action Plan (For Struggling Spouse) Recovery Action Plan (For Betrayed Spouse) Relapse Prevention Tool/Three Circles (Recovery Tool) GET STARTED Summit 2026!: Register Now Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group
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| 252 - Pastors, Church Leaders, & Sexual Misconduct | 03 May 2022 | 01:01:23 | |
It seems like every few months there is another report of a Christian leader caught in sexual misconduct. This is extremely sad. It shouldn't be this way. But why does this keep happening? Can we do anything about it? How do we change this trend with our leaders and in our churches? Today we tackle all of these questions. There is a better way and we need to take steps to create it in our churches. RESOURCESHow To Talk With Your Kids About Sex The Rise and Fall of Mars Hill (Christianity Today's Podcast) GET STARTED Summit 2026!: Register Now Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group
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| 251 - The Good Guide To Great Sex w/ Dr. Keith & Sheila Wray Gregoire | 26 Apr 2022 | 01:03:25 | |
Sheila Wray Gregoire is back on the podcast today and she is joined by her husband, Dr. Keith. They’ve been busy updating and writing their books, The Good Girls Guide To Great Sex and The Good Guys Guide To Great Sex! Today, we talk to Sheila and Dr. Keith about their books, interesting findings from their research of over 25,000 Christian women, a new approach to sexual intimacy in marriage, how frequent we should be having sex, and A LOT more! RESOURCESThe Good Girl's Guide To Great Sex (Sheila's updated book) The Good Guy's Guide To Great Sex (Sheila & Keith's new book) To Love, Honor, and Vaccum (Sheila's blog) GET STARTED Summit 2026!: Register Now Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group
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| 366 - Betrayal Triggers | 09 Jul 2024 | 00:58:12 | |
Today's episode addresses a listener's question—how to manage betrayal triggers. Most of us are aware of triggers for those struggling with addictive or compulsive sexual behavior. But are there such a thing as betrayal triggers? The answer is an emphatic YES! Ashley Jameson joins us to discuss what betrayal triggers are, how to identify them, how to bring healing to them, and what couples can do to help each other navigate triggers. RESOURCESBETRAYAL & BEYOND (WOMEN’S BETRAYAL RESOURCE) BETRAYAL & BEYOND ONLINE GROUPS RELAPSE PREVENTION PLAN (3 CIRCLES TOOL) ASSOCIATION OF PARTNERS OF SEX ADDICTS TRAUMA SPECIALISTS GET STARTED Summit 2026!: Register Now Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group
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| 250 - Taboo Topics | 19 Apr 2022 | 00:56:42 | |
When entering our sexual history or the history of our group members, it’s likely we’ll encounter topics considered “taboo.” Topics like fetishes, fantasies, same-sex attraction, or others. We all have potentially taboo aspects to our sexual history. On today’s episode, we are joined by Rich Moore (Associate Director of Men’s Groups) to talk about these topics, how to respond to these topics when they come up, and how we can diminish the shame around these elements of our story. RESOURCESGROUP LEADER TRAINING (PRE-ORDER) GET STARTED Summit 2026!: Register Now Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group
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| 249 - Leading Women's Groups | 12 Apr 2022 | 00:54:42 | |
Pure Desire groups for women are essential to an effective recovery ministry. Whether it’s groups for women who’ve experienced betrayal or women struggling with unwanted sexual behavior, these groups are needed! If we want to create cultures in our church where “it’s okay to not be okay,” we need a group structure and women willing to lead. On today’s episode, Ashley Jameson joins us to talk about leading women’s groups. We talk about what to look for in group leaders, unique aspects to women’s groups, and best practices for leading Betrayal & Beyond and Unraveled groups. GET STARTED Summit 2026!: Register Now Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group
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| 248 - Performance Wounds w/ Stephen Thomas | 05 Apr 2022 | 00:56:32 | |
Whether we've played sports, performed in theater, or participated in other performance-oriented activities, we have all experienced failure. These moments of failure impact us at a deep level. On today's episode, we talked with Stephen Thomas, a marriage and recovery consultant, about how these performance failures wound us, how they contribute to our recovery and healing journeys, and how to heal our performance wounds. RESOURCESSTEPHEN THOMAS CONSULTING (STEPHEN'S WEBSITE) GET STARTED Summit 2026!: Register Now Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group
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| 247 - Becoming A Porn-Free Person w/ Matt Dobschuetz | 29 Mar 2022 | 00:59:09 | |
Becoming a porn-free person is not an easy journey but is so worth the effort! Matt Dobschuetz knows this first hand. Matt, the host of the Porn Free Radio Podcast and author of the new book Porn Free, joins us for a crossover episode of the podcast. On today’s episode, we talk to Matt about his new book and the insights he shares about the recovery journey. Matt even asks us a few questions during the interview. It’s a good time and we know you’ll enjoy our conversation with Matt. RESOURCESPORN FREE RADIO PODCAST (MATT’S SHOW) MAKING ROOM FOR RECOVERY (BLOG BY JUSTIN WATSON) GET STARTED Summit 2026!: Register Now Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group
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| 246 - Replacing Unwanted Sexual Behaviors | 22 Mar 2022 | 00:47:21 | |
It’s not enough to just stop our unwanted sexual behaviors. In order to truly break free and heal from the effects of unwanted sexual behaviors, we must find replacement behaviors. Like learning to ride a bike, our mind holds on to repeated behaviors and never lets them go. If we want to stop these automatic behaviors, our brain requires we replace them with new ones. On today’s episode, we discuss why we need new behaviors, what kinds we should pursue, and how to make sure our new behaviors don’t get added to the list of unwanted ones. RESOURCESSEXUAL INTEGRITY 101 (VIDEO COURSE) UNRAVELED (WOMEN’S RECOVERY RESOURCE) SEVEN PILLARS OF FREEDOM (MEN’S RECOVERY RESOURCE) GET STARTED Summit 2026!: Register Now Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group
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| 245 - Sacrifices of Recovery & Healing | 15 Mar 2022 | 01:01:41 | |
It's the consequences of unwanted sexual behavior that often motivate us most in starting the recovery or healing journey. Whether we’re the struggling spouse or the one betrayed, the crisis and damage of sexual brokenness make the recovery and healing process very necessary. But once we enter this journey, it’s not always rainbows and butterflies. As we grow and develop health, we begin setting boundaries and evaluating our life with a new lens. As we do so, we can lose hobbies, jobs, and even relationships. On today’s episode, we talk with Mike Maxwell about the reality of what we might have to sacrifice on the recovery and healing journey and why our health is still worth it all. RESOURCESGET STARTED Summit 2026!: Register Now Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group
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| 244 - How To Help Your Spouse Heal From Your Sexual Betrayal | 08 Mar 2022 | 01:03:44 | |
Sexual betrayal is one of the most devastating things a person can experience. Though struggling spouses are not primarily out to hurt their husband/wife, sexual brokenness brings immense amounts of pain and trauma into a marriage. As an addict or struggler, is it possible to help our spouse heal from the pain we’ve caused? Is there anything we can do to help in the healing process? On today’s episode, we explore what an addicted/struggling spouse can do (if anything) to help their spouse heal from sexual betrayal. RESOURCESSEXUAL INTEGRITY 101 (VIDEO COURSE) BETRAYAL & BEYOND (BETRAYED WOMEN’S RESOURCE) SEVEN PILLARS OF FREEDOM (STRUGGLING MEN’S RESOURCE) UNRAVELED (STRUGGLING WOMEN’S RESOURCE) HOPE FOR MEN (BETRAYED MEN’S RESOURCE) APSATS (BARABARA STEFFENS ORGANIZATION) GET STARTED Summit 2026!: Register Now Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group
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| 243 - Spiritual Bypass w/ Dr. Craig Cashwell | 01 Mar 2022 | 01:05:33 | |
As followers of Jesus, knowing what is true and biblical is important. But when it comes to battling the effects of unwanted sexual behavior or betrayal trauma we can very easily use spiritual truths to minimize the reality of our situation or struggle. This is referred to as "spiritual bypass." On today's episode, Dr. Craig Cashwell talks to us about spiritual bypass and why it can be so damaging on our journey of healing and recovery. RESOURCESSHADOWS OF THE CROSS (CRAIG’S RESOURCE) GET STARTED Summit 2026!: Register Now Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group
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| 242 - Women's Takeover #4 - Stories Of Healing: Cyndie & Dusty Gillingham | 22 Feb 2022 | 00:55:26 | |
Sexual brokenness shatters the lives of so many men and women. We’ve heard this story many times: a man struggles with unwanted sexual behaviors and, because of this, his wife experiences betrayal trauma. But what happens when the roles are reversed? When a woman struggles and betrays her husband? On today’s episode, Cyndie and Dusty tell us their story of healing. They share how sexual brokenness impacted their relationship, how they were introduced to Pure Desire, what their recovery and healing journey looks like, and so much more! RESOURCESGET STARTED Summit 2026!: Register Now Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group
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| 241 - Women's Takeover #3: Empowering A Betrayed Partner | 15 Feb 2022 | 00:45:31 | |
When discovery or disclosure happens, it impacts the mind, body, and soul of a betrayed partner. Our mind becomes stuck on rewind; processing every word of every day, wondering how we missed it. We can’t eat. We can’t sleep. We no longer feel safe. Is there any hope? On today’s episode, we sit down with Jennifer Howie and talk through several aspects of betrayal trauma that will empower a betrayed partner on their healing journey. RESOURCESBETRAYAL & BEYOND (WOMEN’S BETRAYAL RESOURCE) GET STARTED Summit 2026!: Register Now Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group
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| 365 - Brand New Stats On Porn In The Church | 02 Jul 2024 | 00:42:37 | |
We have a very SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT on today's episode! Pure Desire is partnering with one of the most influential research firms in the world to bring forth new statistics on the impact of pornography in the church. We're joined by Heather Kolb and Ashley Jameson (hosts of our newest show, Unfiltered) to discuss the origins of this research project, our hopes for this new data, some of the initial findings of the research, and how to get this information in your hands (including a launch event you won't want to miss)! RESOURCESBarna Launch Event (REGISTER NOW) GET STARTED Summit 2026!: Register Now Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group
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| 240 - Women's Takeover #2: Integrating Psychology & Spirituality w/ Dr. Craig Cashwell | 08 Feb 2022 | 00:40:08 | |
Historically, in many faith communities, there seemed to be a great divide: psychology on one side of the canyon and spirituality on the other side. But now, this gap is closing. On today’s episode, we are privileged to have Dr. Craig Cashwell as our guest. We first met Dr. Cashwell during Module 2 of the PSAP training and used this opportunity to dig deeper into what we learned. As a Mental Health Counselor, Professor, and author, he shares his passion for integrating psychology and spirituality, how this plays out in the healing process, and so much more. RESOURCESSHADOWS OF THE CROSS (CRAIG’S RESOURCE) INTEGRATING SPIRITUALITY & RELIGION INTO COUNSELING (CRAIG’S RESOURCE) CLINICAL MENTAL HEALTH COUNSELING (CRAIG’S RESOURCE) GET STARTED Summit 2026!: Register Now Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group
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| 239 - Women's Takeover #1: Healing From Betrayal w/ Dr. Barbara Steffens | 01 Feb 2022 | 00:47:05 | |
When we experience betrayal, it seems as though our world has been turned upside down. This type of trauma can leave us feeling paralyzed and alone, unsure of what’s happening to us and if healing is even possible. On today’s episode, we are honored to have Dr. Barbara Steffens as our guest. She is the author of Your Sexually Addicted Spouse: How Partners Can Cope and Heal and the founding President of APSATS: The Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists. Dr. Steffens walks us through what it looks like to find healing from betrayal trauma. RESOURCESAPSATS (BARBARA’S ORGANIZATION) YOUR SEXUALLY ADDICTED SPOUSE (BARBARA’S BOOK) GET STARTED Summit 2026!: Register Now Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group
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| 238 - Barriers To Sexual Intimacy w/ Dr. Juli Slattery | 25 Jan 2022 | 00:47:36 | |
Creating emotional and sexual intimacy in marriage can be challenging. This is especially true when sexual brokenness is present in a marriage. Today, Dr. Juli Slattery joins us to talk through barriers couples face when creating sexual intimacy and how we can overcome them. RESOURCESFIND THE HERO IN YOUR HUSBAND: REVISITED (JULI’S BOOK) JAVA WITH JULI (JULI’S PODCAST) GET STARTED Summit 2026!: Register Now Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group
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