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Explore every episode of the podcast Psychologists Off the Clock

Dive into the complete episode list for Psychologists Off the Clock. Each episode is cataloged with detailed descriptions, making it easy to find and explore specific topics. Keep track of all episodes from your favorite podcast and never miss a moment of insightful content.

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TitlePub. DateDuration
481. How To Live: Exploring Existentialism with Robyn Walser, Jim Lucas, Jenna LeJeune, and Jennifer Gregg 14 oct. 202601:04:35

For her last episode without her co-hosts, Debbie wanted to choose a topic that matters to her personally: existentialism and the search for meaning. She invited her “dream team” panel of colleagues with an interest in existentialism from the ACT community: Robyn Walser, Jim Lucas, Jenna LeJeune, and Jennifer Gregg.

Existentialism invites us to enhance our lives through exploration of life’s truths: we will die, we are free to make choices, and we must all create our own sense of meaning and purpose. Through grappling with the big questions of life, we can become more engaged, intentional, and present in the lives we have.

In this episode, our panelists discuss existential ideas like freedom and responsibility, living with death awareness, transcendence, and why vitality includes the painful parts of life as well as the joyful ones. They discuss the pressure of a culture that pushes us to optimize everything, and they close with an invitation to join in the “grand exploration” of life.

Listen and Learn:

  • How existentialism grew out of a response to absurdity, and why it helps us question rules that don’t make sense. 
  • The balance between freedom and responsibility, and why owning your choices can be both scary and liberating. 
  • How awareness of the finite nature of life gives weight to our values. 
  • Why vitality means tasting the whole experience, including “the rotten part of the apple,” and not only the joyful part. 
  • Self-transcendence, and the importance of contributing to something greater than yourself.
  • Why suffering can be seen as a teacher, instead of a problem to be solved.
  • How meaning and hope differ, and why a meaningful life doesn’t depend on a better future. 
  • How to hold both the “I” and the interconnected “we” in values work. 
  • How cultural pressure to be productive can pull us away from what’s truly meaningful. 


Resources:


About the Panelists: 

Robyn D. Walser, Ph.D., is an internationally recognized clinical psychologist, educator, and author. She is the Director of Trauma and Life Consultation and Psychology Services, Assistant Professor at the University of California, Berkeley, and Director of Research at Bay Area Trauma Recovery Clinical Services. Dr. Walser has contributed significantly to the dissemination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and held a pivotal role in implementing ACT in one of the US's largest national healthcare systems. Her work largely focuses on trauma recovery. A writer and scholar, Dr. Walser has co-authored nine influential books on ACT, including the Heart of ACT: Developing a Flexible, Process-Based, and Client-Centered Practice Using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Deliberate Practice to Develop and Enhance Skills in ACT.  She recently released a self-help book on ACT called You Are Not Your Trauma. Her research and clinical expertise have made her a sought-after voice in advancing the application of ACT to address a variety of complex psychological challenges. Since 1997, Dr. Walser has led ACT workshops worldwide, bringing her passion for process-based, experiential learning to therapists and clinicians. Known for her compassionate, client-centered approach, Dr. Walser’s teaching emphasizes integrating evidence-based practices with human connection and flexibility.

This is Robyn’s EIGHTH appearance on Psychologists Off the Clock! You can hear her previous episodes here: 


Jenna LeJeune, Ph.D. is President and co-founder of Portland Psychotherapy Clinic, Research and Training Center in Portland, Oregon. She is also a researcher and study therapist at the Portland Institute for Psychedelic Science. Both in her clinical practice as a licensed psychologist and in her work with psychedelics, Jenna is deeply interested in issues related to meaning, purpose, belonging, and values. Jenna specializes in using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) to help those she serves connect with what is most meaningful so that they are able to live lives of purpose and integrity even in the midst of suffering. She is the co-author of the book Values in Therapy: A Clinician's Guide to Helping Clients Explore Values, Increase Psychological Flexibility, and Live a More Meaningful Life as well as numerous other book chapters, journal articles, and other publications. Jenna is also a Fellow of the Association for Contextual Behavioral Science and a peer-reviewed ACT trainer and provides ACT trainings for professionals around the world.

Jenna previously appeared on Psychologists Off the Clock for episode 116: Building a Meaningful, Values-based Life with Jenna LeJeune  


Jennifer Gregg is a professor of Psychology at San Jose State University and a licensed clinical psychologist. She specializes in Psycho-Oncology and end of life care, and has been researching, delivering, and training professions in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) since 1995. She has written dozens of scholarly articles and three books for the public on ACT, and is a peer-reviewed ACT trainer. She lives in the San Francisco Bay Area where she helps cancer patients and their families live amazing lives with difficult medical illnesses. 

Although this was Jen’s first time on the podcast, she has been with us in spirit, and we’ve discussed two of her books on the podcast previously with her co-author. You can check those episodes out here: 181. Stop Avoiding Stuff with Matt Boone and 469. ACT Refresher with Matt Boone  

 

Jim Lucas has been an ACBS Peer-reviewed ACT Trainer, Consultant, Supervisor, Author and Therapist since 2003. Jim has helped 1000s of practitioners integrate Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) into their therapeutic toolkit.  As one of the founding presenters of the legendary Birmingham ACT Week back in 2015, Jim has since trained therapists, psychologists, counsellors, social workers, physiotherapists, and other allied health professionals in this powerful approach to behaviour change.  Now, through the Openforwards ACT Learning Centre, Jim helps practitioners worldwide to build their expertise and optimise their clinical impact. 

Jim previously joined us on the podcast for episode 82: Therapist Self Doubt with Jim Lucas 


Related Episodes: 

138. Exploring Existence and Purpose: Existentialism with Robyn Walser

116. Building a Meaningful, Values-based Life with Jenna LeJeune 

375. Midlife: From Crisis to Curiosity with Meg McKelvie and Debbie Sorensen 

242. Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management with Oliver Burkeman 

351. You Only Die Once with Jodi Wellman

285. What Do You Want Out of Life? Values Fulfillment Theory with Valerie Tiberius


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480. Original Sin with Kathryn Paige Harden07 oct. 202600:57:27

Listen and Learn:

  • Why genes, like environments, tilt the playing field without determining the outcome, and what a cloned Texas bull named Second Chance (who gored his owners, unlike the sweet original) teaches us about genetic determinism
  • Why "What if you'd had my childhood?" invites sympathy while "What if you'd had my genome?" feels like an identity threat, and how DNA has become our modern "essence placeholder"
  • What the Lindsay Clancy and Andrea Yates cases reveal about the limits of our victim/perpetrator binary, and why our legal system and moral intuitions struggle when someone is both
  • How punishment shows up across the natural world, from paper wasp queens who get deposed for eating too many of their sisters' eggs to fig trees that shrivel the fruit of lazy pollinators
  • Why our retributive drive is deeply "baked into the evolutionary sauce," and why simply understanding the free will problem won't make it disappear
  • Durkheim's argument that a society without crime would be neither possible nor desirable, and how deviance drives moral innovation
  • Why accountability has become collapsed with punishment, in criminal justice and in modern parenting debates, and what a "third way" might look like
  • How the Norwegian response to Anders Breivik reframes the question from "Does this person deserve punishment?" to "How do we treat someone who has done something terrible and is still one of us?"
  • Why dehumanizing others degrades the punisher as well as the punished, and how service-based consequences might replace immiseration

Resources:


About Kathryn Paige Harden

Kathryn Paige Harden is a professor of clinical psychology at the University of Texas at Austin, where she leads the Developmental Behavior Genetics Lab, studying how kids' and teens' DNA sequences and epigenomes interact with their environments to shape thought, feeling, and behavior. She earned her PhD in clinical psychology from the University of Virginia and trained clinically at McLean Hospital, Harvard Medical School. Her first book, The Genetic Lottery, argued that genetics matters for social equality and made her one of the most debated scientists writing for a general audience. Her new book, Original Sin, is part memoir, part behavioral genetics primer, and part philosophical reckoning with her own evangelical upbringing, arguing that the question of why people do terrible things cannot be answered by nature or nurture alone.

Related Episodes:


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479. Introducing Jill’s New Podcast, We the Sunlight, with Juls Bindi30 sept. 202600:42:48

What does it really mean to speak up—and what happens when telling the truth comes at a cost?

In this special episode of Psychologists Off the Clock, Jill Stoddard and Yael introduce Jill’s powerful new podcast, We the Sunlight, a show about the brave act of speaking up in a culture that too often rewards silence. Then, listeners get an exclusive preview of the first episode, featuring Jules Bindi, one of the first women to publicly share that she was sexually assaulted by Harvey Weinstein before the #MeToo movement began.

Jules shares her story—from growing up surrounded by trauma and abuse to building a successful career as a massage therapist to Hollywood’s elite. She describes the grooming, manipulation, and sexual assaults she experienced at the hands of one of the most powerful men in the entertainment industry, as well as the complicated question that haunted her afterward: Why did she go back?

Together, Jill and Jules explore the complex survival responses that can make victims blame themselves, including fawning, appeasing, and attempting to maintain safety in the face of overwhelming power. Jules also shares what finally helped her come forward, what she feared would happen if she spoke publicly, and why she ultimately decided that staying silent came at too high a cost.

You’ll hear about shame, self-forgiveness, post-traumatic growth, and the complicated reality of speaking truth to power. Most importantly, Jules offers a powerful message to anyone considering whether to come forward—and to those who have already spoken up and are living with the consequences.

Join us for this moving introduction to We the Sunlight and the story of one woman who discovered that courage doesn’t mean speaking without fear. Sometimes, it means deciding that something matters more than staying silent.

Listen and Learn:

  • The story behind Jill’s new podcast, We the Sunlight, and how her own experience speaking publicly about a family member who caused harm inspired her to create a show centered on truth-telling
  • Why speaking up can be both deeply meaningful and incredibly costly—and how people weigh the potential consequences before deciding whether to come forward
  • Jules Bindi’s journey from a childhood shaped by abuse and trauma to becoming a successful massage therapist with high-profile celebrity clients
  • How Harvey Weinstein used power, praise, promises, and manipulation to groom Jules and exploit the enormous power imbalance between them
  • Why survivors may continue contact with or return to someone who has harmed them—and how survival responses such as fawning and appeasing can complicate our understanding of trauma
  • Why asking, “Why did they go back?” can fuel shame and self-blame when survivors are already struggling to understand their own responses
  • How fear of retaliation, public scrutiny, victim-blaming, and professional consequences can make speaking out against a powerful person feel nearly impossible
  • What ultimately motivated Jules to come forward publicly and later participate in the legal case against Weinstein
  • How becoming a mother helped Jules reconsider what she would want her own daughter to do if she were ever harmed
  • Why Jules says she experienced fewer negative consequences from speaking up than she expected—and how speaking publicly allowed her to put down some of the weight she had carried in silence
  • The difference between taking responsibility for someone else’s harmful actions and finding meaning in the ways we choose to respond afterward
  • How Jules has transformed her experiences into advocacy, supporting other survivors and teaching children about bodily autonomy and personal boundaries
  • Why self-forgiveness can be one of the most difficult—and meaningful—parts of healing
  • What to consider if you are wrestling with whether to speak up, including the question of what it may cost you to stay silent
  • Jules’ message to those already living through the difficult aftermath of coming forward: celebrate your courage, care for yourself, and remember that the intensity of the moment will not last forever
  • Why all of us can support survivors by resisting the urge to judge, question, or shame them for the ways they responded to trauma

Resources:

About Jules Bindi:

Jules Bindi is an entrepreneur, emotional intelligence advocate, author, and storyteller dedicated to helping people heal, develop stronger boundaries, and use their voices.

After experiencing sexual assault by Harvey Weinstein, Jules eventually became one of the first women to publicly share her story before the #MeToo movement gained widespread momentum. Her decision to come forward was motivated not only by her own experience, but by a desire to support other survivors and help create greater accountability for people who abuse their power.

Today, Jules works with survivors who are navigating the difficult process of reporting abuse and coming forward. She also teaches children about bodily autonomy, boundaries, and emotional intelligence through her children’s publishing company, EQ Kid Books.

She is the author of My Body, My Rules and the creator of The Harmony Hills series, which helps children learn that they have ownership over th

eir bodies and the right to set boundaries and say no.

About Jill Stoddard:

Dr. Jill Stoddard is passionate about providing clients, audiences, and readers with transformative experiences that are based in the latest psychological science but translate to everyday skills for flourishing at work and in life. She is an international and TEDx speaker, award-winning former professor, three-time book author, entrepreneur, licensed psychologist, coach, and professional podcaster. Her former show, Psychologists Off the Clock, was ranked in the top .5% worldwide and was the number one clinical psychology podcast according to Feedspot. Her latest passion project, We the Sunlight, offers a platform for truthtellers to shine a light on crime. Her books have been translated into more than a dozen languages and include: The Big Book of ACT Metaphors; Be Mighty; and Imposter No More. She is a standing-ovation-commanding speaker (ok, that’s only happened twice so far, but it’s her goal for every talk!). She regularly appears on podcasts and as an expert source for various tv and print media outlets. She has written for or been quoted in Time, the Washington Post, New York Times, Woman’s World, Today.com, Psychology Today, The San Diego Union Tribune, The Boston Globe and more. Her work centers on the simple but powerful belief that discomfort isn’t a sign that something’s gone wrong, it’s a sign you’re right where you are meant to be -- at the intersection of caring and challenge. She lives in Newburyport, MA with her husband, two kids, and disobedient French Bulldog.  

About We the Sunlight:

What happens when you risk everything to tell the truth?

We the Sunlight is a podcast about the brave act of speaking up in a culture that too often rewards silence. From whistleblowers to victims of crime to people intimately connected to those who have caused harm, each episode features raw, personal stories from people who faced high stakes to speak their truth.

Guests share why they came forward, what they considered before speaking up, what it cost them, whether they regret their decision, and how radical transparency became part of their healing. The show is grounded in the belief that truth can illuminate, stories can heal, and—as the saying goes—sunlight is the best disinfectant. We just shouldn't have to shine it alone.

Related Episodes:

19. Keeping Children Safe from Sexual Abuse with Feather Berkower 

84. Courageous Conversations to Prevent Childhood Sexual Abuse with Feather Berkower

394. Sunlight is the Best Disinfectant with Andrea Dunlop and Mike Weber

421. Defy with Sunita Sah

436. Consent Laid Bare with Chanel Contos

463. Doubting Accusers; Protecting Abusers


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478. Restoring Childhood with Peter Gray23 sept. 202601:04:40

What if the biggest threat to kids’ mental health isn’t smartphones or social media—but the loss of freedom, play, and independence in childhood?

In this episode of Psychologists Off the Clock, Emily welcomes researcher Peter Gray, author of Restoring Childhood: How to Set Kids Free in the Age of Anxiety. Drawing on decades of research in developmental psychology, anthropology, education, and play, Peter challenges some of our most common assumptions about what children need to thrive.

Peter explains why play isn’t simply recreation—it’s how children naturally learn independence, problem-solving, negotiation, courage, and the social skills they’ll need throughout their lives. He traces how adults have gradually “colonized” childhood, replacing independent play and exploration with increasingly adult-directed activities, supervision, and schoolwork.

Emily and Peter also take on one of today’s biggest parenting debates: the role of smartphones and social media in the youth mental health crisis. Peter offers a provocative interpretation of the historical data, including why teen mental health actually improved during the early years of home computers, video games, and online communication—and why he believes increased school pressure deserves far more attention as a contributor to youth anxiety and depression.

You’ll hear why children need opportunities to solve problems without adults swooping in, how risky play helps kids develop courage, why trust can become a self-fulfilling prophecy, and what parents and schools can do to give children more ownership over their lives.

Join Emily and Peter for a thought-provoking conversation about what we lose when we try too hard to protect and prepare our kids—and why restoring childhood may require adults to step back so kids can step forward.

Listen and Learn:

  • Why play is a biological drive across young mammals—and how it helps children practice the skills they need to become increasingly independent
  • How self-directed play teaches children to negotiate, compromise, solve problems, consider other people’s needs, and navigate conflict without adults stepping in
  • Why children’s freedom to play and explore independently has declined dramatically over the past several decades—and what Peter means by the disappearance of a distinct “culture of childhood”
  • How children’s peer cultures once gave kids opportunities to create their own games, norms, language, and social worlds largely outside adult oversight
  • The surprising mental health trends Peter identifies from 1950 onward, including rising distress during decades when children’s independence was declining
  • Why Peter believes the arrival of home computers in the 1990s may actually have improved adolescent well-being by giving teens new opportunities for mastery, independence, play, and connection with peers
  • How early computers created an unusual reversal in expertise, with teenagers often knowing more than their parents—and why that experience of competence may have mattered
  • Why video games and other forms of pretend or risky play can give children opportunities to experience fear, vulnerability, challenge, and mastery in relatively safe environments
  • Peter’s critique of the popular claim that smartphones and social media are the primary cause of today’s youth mental health crisis, and why he argues the broader research literature does not support such a simple causal story
  • Why Peter sees increasing academic pressure and changes in American schooling as an overlooked contributor to rising anxiety, depression, and burnout among young people
  • How schools could become more supportive of mental health by improving school climate, increasing student autonomy, restoring teacher flexibility, protecting recess, and reducing unnecessary academic pressure
  • One simple question parents can ask children to begin expanding their independence: What would you like to be doing on your own that you aren’t doing now?
  • Why shifting from “What am I afraid to let my child do?” toward “What could I encourage my child to do independently?” can help both children and parents build confidence
  • What Peter calls “TAS parenting”—combining trustful and autonomy-supportive parenting by not only trusting children’s developing capabilities but actively creating opportunities for them to exercise independence

Resources:


About Peter Gray:

Peter Gray is a research professor of psychology and neuroscience at Boston College. He has conducted and published research in neuroendocrinology, developmental psychology, anthropology, and education. He did his undergraduate study at Columbia University and earned a Ph.D. in biological sciences at Rockefeller University. His current research and writing focus primarily on children’s natural ways of learning and the life-long value of play. He has helped found and continues to support nonprofit organizations aimed at bringing more play and independent activity to children’s lives. He is the author of an internationally acclaimed college introductory psychology textbook (Psychology, now in its8th edition), which views all of psychology from an evolutionary perspective, and of Free to Learn: Why Unleashing the Instinct to Play Will Make Our Children Happier, More Self-Reliant, and Better Students for Life. His newest book, Restoring Childhood: How to Set Kids Free in the Age of Anxiety, is out now.

Related Episodes:


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477. Beyond Belief with Nir Eyal16 sept. 202600:58:28

What if some of the things you believe most strongly aren’t actually facts—but tools you’re using to navigate a complicated world?

In this bittersweet final interview for Psychologists Off the Clock, Jill Stoddard welcomes back Nir Eyal, author of Beyond Belief: The Science-Backed Way to Stop Limiting Yourself and Achieve Extraordinary Results. Nir was Jill’s very first guest when she joined the podcast, making this conversation a fitting bookend to her time on POTC. Together, they explore how our beliefs shape motivation, perception, pain, relationships, and our ability to create lasting change.

Nir explains why beliefs are different from facts or faith, and why treating beliefs as tools rather than truths can give us more flexibility. He shares his personal story of struggling with his weight, how changing his beliefs helped him persist, and what his experience with Pain Reprocessing Therapy taught him about chronic pain.

You’ll hear why “seeing is believing” is only half the story, how our expectations can change our experience of pain and pleasure, why venting may reinforce the very beliefs that keep us stuck, and how expanding your portfolio of perspectives can create more freedom in relationships and everyday life.

Join Jill and Nir for a fascinating conversation about the power of belief—and a reminder that feeling bad isn’t necessarily bad. Sometimes, pain comes with purpose.

Listen and Learn:

  • Why beliefs are neither facts nor faith, but flexible “working models” that help us navigate reality when the truth isn’t fully knowable
  • How beliefs influence motivation, behavior, and persistence—and why believing you can succeed may be just as important as knowing what to do
  • Nir’s personal weight-loss journey and how searching for the “one true” diet ultimately got in the way of persistence
  • Why beliefs can be powerful tools even when we can’t prove that they are objectively true, and how choosing beliefs that serve us can change the way we respond to everyday challenges
  • How attention shapes perception, why our brains rely on predictions and prior beliefs, and what the classic checkerboard illusion teaches us about seeing reality
  • The relationship between beliefs, expectations, pain, and suffering—including what Nir learned from Pain Reprocessing Therapy and the surprising power of the brain to change the experience of chronic pain
  • Why feeling bad isn’t necessarily bad, and how redefining discomfort as something that can accompany purpose may help us stop avoiding the experiences that matter
  • How placebo and nocebo effects demonstrate the powerful role of expectations, and why beliefs can influence our experience through changes in behavior and biology
  • Why venting can reinforce negative beliefs about other people, and how “getting it off your chest” may provide short-term relief while making us angrier in the long run
  • How Inquiry-Based Stress Reduction can help us loosen rigid beliefs by developing a broader “portfolio” of possible perspectives rather than forcing ourselves to replace one belief with another
  • Nir’s personal transformation in his relationship with his mother, and how questioning assumptions about other people can create more flexibility without requiring them to change
  • How expanding our beliefs can create “wiggle room” to respond more flexibly, reconnect with our values, and take responsibility for our own contribution to difficult situations

Resources:

Previous books:


About Nir Eyal:

Nir Eyal writes, consults, and teaches about the intersection of psychology, technology, and human potential. He previously taught at the Stanford Graduate School of Business and the Hasso Plattner Institute of Design at Stanford.

He is the author of the international bestsellers Hooked and Indistractable, which have sold more than a million copies in more than 30 languages. His latest book, Beyond Belief: The Science-Backed Way to Stop Limiting Yourself and Achieve Extraordinary Results, explores the science of beliefs and how they influence our perceptions, behaviors, and ability to create lasting change. The book recently reached the New York Times bestseller list.

Nir is also an active angel investor whose portfolio includes multi-billion-dollar companies such as Canva and Kahoot!. He blogs at NirAndFar.com and has published writing in The New York Times and Harvard Business Review. He is also a regular contributor to Psychology Today.

Related Episodes:

127. Indistractable with Nir Eyal

310. The Expectation Effect with David Robson

312. Throwback Episode! The Invisible Gorilla with Christopher Chabris

422. Mindwise with Nicholas Epley

443. Shift with Ethan Kross

458. The Pain/Brain Connection with Alan Gordon


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476. Why We Ask Why with Tania Lombrozo08 sept. 202601:02:21

What makes an explanation feel satisfying, and does that feeling have anything to do with whether it's actually true?

Cognitive scientist Tania Lombrozo, author of Why We Ask Why: The Science of Explanation and the Human Drive to Understand, joins Michael to talk about the human drive to explain: where it comes from and what it buys us. She also makes the case that explanations aren't objects sitting out in the world waiting to be found, but mental acts we construct.

Tania walks through why philosophers and psychologists have circled the same phenomenon from different angles, and why a strong drive to explain isn't an obvious thing to build into an intelligent system in the first place. Curiosity, she explains, works as a filter on the endless supply of questions we could be asking. She also shares what her own lab has found about what actually predicts it, and why a satisfying explanation tends to open up more questions rather than shut inquiry down.

Along the way: Alison Gopnik's provocatively titled paper on the aha moment, and the explore/exploit trade-off behind the randomized summer reading program Tania uses to keep herself exploring. They also get into the self-explanation effect, and why explaining to another person usually beats explaining to yourself. The conversation closes on what to do when a three-year-old asks why, including how to bring a chatbot into that moment without skipping the part where good inquiry gets modeled.


Listen and Learn:

  • Why a strong drive to explain isn't an obvious thing to build into an intelligent system, and what seeking explanations actually does for creatures like us
  • Why explanations are mental acts rather than facts sitting out in the world, and how a punchline makes that idea concrete
  • How curiosity filters the endless supply of questions we could ask, and why we gravitate toward things just one step beyond what we already understand
  • What happens to your curiosity right after a satisfying explanation, and why good answers tend to open up more questions instead of closing them off
  • The explore/exploit trade-off, and practical ways to build a little more randomness into what you read and what you try
  • Why explaining something to another person usually beats explaining it to yourself, and the three things that make the difference
  • How to respond when a child asks why, and how to use AI tools with kids without cutting out the modeling of good inquiry


Resources:


About Tania Lombrozo

Tania Lombrozo is Arthur W. Marks '19 Professor of Psychology at Princeton University. She holds degrees in cognitive science and philosophy from Stanford University and in psychology from Harvard University. Her award-winning research has explored the human drive for explanation in both children and adults. She lives in Princeton, New Jersey, with her husband and two daughters. Her book, Why We Ask Why: The Science of Explanation and the Human Drive to Understand, will be released in October 2026.


Related Episodes:


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475. What to Do When Your Partner is Depressed with David Dozois01 sept. 202600:57:05

Navigating a loved one's mental health struggles can feel like walking a tightrope between wanting to save them and trying to keep your own head above water.

In this episode, Dr. David Dozois from the University of Western Ontario highlights his book, What to Do When Your Partner Is Depressed, talking through the toll depression can take on relationships and why the supporting partner's experience so often goes unnoticed.

He shares with us why our instinct to "fix" a partner's pain can often backfire, and offers up actionable strategies for giving real support, encouraging treatment, and how to shift from frustration to true connection, without taking on the role of an unpaid therapist.

Plus, David touches on essential self-care, navigating tricky boundary dynamics, and safely approaching heavy, sensitive topics couples tend to avoid.


Listen and Learn: 

  • How clinical depression differs from ordinary sadness, how it impacts both partners in a relationship, and actionable, evidence-based strategies to support a depressed partner without burning out or sacrificing their own well-being 
  • The complexities of supporting a depressed partner and reveal why the human impulse to "fix" things often backfires, sharing research-backed strategies on how to move from wrestling with your partner to truly connecting with them first 
  • The art of true active listening, explaining why genuine empathy means tuning into your partner’s heart rather than just rehearsing your next response 
  • Framing depression as a shared "we" problem rather than an individual label to encourage a struggling partner to seek help without putting them on the defensive 
  • How non-depressed partners can support their loved one without burning out or slipping into the role of an unpaid therapist 
  • How excessive reassurance seeking can strain a relationship, and why setting compassionate boundaries and practicing response prevention are essential for long-term trust
  • Navigating the delicate balance between self-care and supporting a loved one through depression 


Resources: 


About David Dozois

David Dozois is a professor of psychology and psychiatry at the University of Western Ontario, where he directs the clinical psychology graduate program and studies cognitive vulnerability to depression, the "why" behind who gets stuck in depressive thinking and why it's so hard to climb out. He's published more than 200 scientific articles and books and has served as president of the Canadian Psychological Association twice.

His new book, What to Do When Your Partner Is Depressed: Supporting Your Loved One While Caring for Yourself, tackles something couples therapists see constantly and talk about far too little: depression is never really a solo experience. It moves into the relationship and unpacks its bags. The partner who isn't depressed often becomes the default project manager of the household, the mood, and the marriage, all while getting none of the concern, support, or permission to fall apart themselves. David's work is a rare combination of rigorous science and genuinely useful, human advice for the partner nobody's checking in on.


Related Episodes:


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474. Rethinking ADHD: Beyond Attention with Debbie Reber and Emily King25 août 202600:59:26

Parenting a kid with ADHD takes way more than standard advice; it requires understanding a complex brain difference that impacts focus, sleep, big emotions, and daily energy.

In this episode, child psychologist Dr. Emily King and TILT Parenting founder Debbie Reber join Emily to give their perspective on what neurodivergent parenting looks like by challenging the "disorder" label, unpacking why behaviors shift between home and school, and diving into hidden struggles like RSD, time blindness, and burnout.

From navigating evaluations to handling the gap between your child's age and their developmental stage, this conversation offers the honest, evidence-based grounding every parent needs.

Tune in now, and reach out to Emily Edlynn to learn more about her 1-on-1 parent coaching!


Listen and Learn: 

  • Should ADHD be framed as a medical disorder or a brain regulation difference?
  • How pathologizing language impacts stigma, diagnosis, and access to support in both clinical and educational settings 
  • Why the name "ADHD" is misleading and how the disorder goes far beyond inattention and hyperactivity to affect emotional regulation, sleep, appetite, and energy management 
  • How to navigate the ADHD diagnosis process from choosing between a pediatrician and a full neuropsychological evaluation to gathering cross-environment data and shifting parent strategies for lasting behavioral change 
  • Overlooked ADHD traits that rarely get covered in formal evaluations and practical strategies to support your child without damaging their self-esteem 
  • How ADHD-related time blindness, task avoidance, and a lack of future-oriented thinking drive daily struggles like running late and better understanding your child's neurodivergent experience 
  • How emotional sensitivity, sensory processing, and energy regulation manifest in children with ADHD and autism and why a child's behavior can look so drastically different between home and school 
  • Why raising a neurodivergent child feels like "advanced parenting," and the deep isolation, constant judgment, and overwhelming family burnout that comes with it



Resources:


About Emily King and Debbie Reber

Emily King is a child psychologist who has worked with neurodivergent learners for over 20 years. She received a Ph.D. in School Psychology from the University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill and began her career in Houston, Texas specializing in school-based mental health in K-12 public schools. She has since worked in private practice in North Carolina supporting the mental health, executive functioning, and social needs of neurodivergent youth. Dr. Emily hosts the Learn with Dr. Emily Substack, where she provides parent workshops, is the creator of The Neurodiverse Classroom®, a professional development curriculum for educators, and her first book, THE NEURODIVERGENT LEARNER, came out on August 25th. 


Debbie Reber is a parenting activist, bestselling author, speaker, and the founder of Tilt Parenting, a top resource for parents raising neurodivergent children. Since launching Tilt in 2016, Debbie has championed a strengths-based approach that reframes how society supports differently wired kids. Her groundbreaking book, Differently Wired, is widely recommended by professionals in education and mental health, and her Full-Tilt Parenting Podcast has 10+ million downloads, featuring leading voices in the intersection of parenting and neurodivergence. A parent coach and Positive Discipline trainer, Debbie has been featured in The Washington Post, The New York Times, and on NewsNation, is a three-time TEDx speaker, and is a founding expert and advisor for HumanUp. She lives in the Netherlands with her husband and two cats, while her neurodivergent young adult attends university in Scotland.


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473. Are You Type C? with Kore Glied and Anna White18 août 202600:58:36

If you’re the kind of person who is pathologically nice, physically incapable of saying "no," and constantly burning out to keep everyone else happy, you might actually have a Type C personality. 

Debbie Sorensen chats with psychologist Kore Glied and former Wall Street exec Anna White to break down how this conflict-avoidant, super-pleaser trait differs from Types A and B and why hiding your true feelings takes such a heavy toll on your health, career, and relationships.

You'll hear Anna open up about her own experience grinding straight through maternity leave until chronic fatigue hit, how these habits usually stem from early criticism or neglect, and how you can change these Type C patterns with a simple SASS framework. Tune in to find out how to Spot your hidden rules, Accept your own worth, Sit with tough emotions, and Say no thoughtfully. 

Listen and Learn:

  • What defines the Type C personality
  • Anna shares her personal story of growing up as a Type C personality and a cautionary story of how her "Type C" tendency to put work obligations above her own needs led her to work through a seven-week maternity leave 
  • How a personal journey through chronic illness and a chance discovery of the "Type C" personality traits 
  • How Type C personality traits develop, how cultural expectations and social rewards reinforce them, and how understanding these origins can help reduce feelings of blame and shame 
  • How Type C personalities are driven by guilt and recognizing the subtle patterns that prevent you from asserting your own worth 
  • How Type C personality traits can lead to unbalanced relationships, career burnout, and vulnerability to toxic dynamics in both the workplace and at home 
  • How Type C personality traits can impact parenting and health
  • The practical "SASS" framework to build resilience and break people-pleasing habits 


Resources:


About Kore Glied and Anna White 

Dr. Kore Glied is a clinical psychologist based in New York City who specializes in helping adults manage anxiety disorders, including obsessive compulsive disorder, and insomnia. Before starting her private practice, she spent many years as an Assistant Professor of Psychology at several major New York City hospitals, including Montefiore Hospital, NYU Medical Center, and most recently, Mount Sinai Hospital. Dr. Glied uses evidence-based approaches such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) to help clients get unstuck and build healthier, more fulfilling lives. Dr. Glied provides training and supervision in (ACT). She has published research on anxiety, trauma, and HIV-related health and has been invited to present her work at national conferences. In addition to her clinical work, Dr. Glied leads corporate wellness workshops focused on managing stress, anxiety, and building healthier relationships. She lives in Manhattan with her husband, two sons, and their dog. As a working mom, she understands the challenges of balancing career, family, and everything in between—and she’s the first to admit she doesn’t have it all figured out.

Anna White is a former investments executive who spent 20 years working for a range of Wall Street firms in capital markets, private equity, equity research, and asset management. She experienced severe burnout at one point in her career which led to a chronic illness that was difficult to diagnose, treat, and recover from. Type C traits were a significant contributor to her declining health. After leaving corporate life, she founded a specialty care package company, Rest & Heal, which focuses on supporting women who have suffered hardship and/or illness through carefully curated gift packages meant to soothe, educate and re-energize the spirit. She holds a B.S. and M.B.A. in Business Administration from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill.


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472. One Relationship, Two Brains with Cindy Ariel11 août 202600:47:58

Every couple has to learn how to accept their differences. But when you’re in a neurodiverse relationship, those differences aren't just quirks; they’re completely different ways of experiencing the world. 

In this episode, we're getting real about love, autism, and how to actually understand each other in a conversation with psychologist and author Dr. Cindy Ariel, who drops by to chat about her book, Autism and the Two of Us. Cindy brings so many incredible insights to the table, including what autism actually is and why neurodiversity is just a normal variation of the human brain. 

She also gets into the nuances of identity-first vs. person-first language and why those choices matter, and busts some major myths and talks about redefining what "typical" love even looks like. 

Tune in for a genuinely eye-opening conversation on love, connection, and neurodiversity!


Listen and Learn: 

  • Framing neurodiversity as the natural spectrum of variation in human minds 
  • Why the assumption that autistic individuals cannot sustain meaningful partnerships is a misconception 
  • The need to move away from standard expectations of romantic behavior, and why neurotypical and autistic partners often express love in vastly different ways 
  • Actionable insights on how partners can translate each other's emotional signals to build deeper connections 
  • How neurodiverse and neurotypical partners often interpret the same situation in vastly different, yet equally valid ways 
  • Moving past rigid expectations and deadlocks by co-creating custom, "third-way" solutions that meet both partners' unique emotional and practical needs 
  • Overcoming the "closeness communication bias" by learning to treat your partner how they want to be treated rather than relying on default assumptions 
  • Navigateing deep neurological differences by letting go of diagnostic labels and distinguishing between normal incompatibility versus toxic behavior


Resources: 


About Cindy Ariel: 

Cindy Ariel is a Philadelphia-based psychologist who has spent more than three decades at the intersection of psychology, neurodiversity, and intimate relationships. In 1992, she cofounded Alternative Choices, an independent group psychology practice known for its work with LGBTQ families and with individuals on the autism spectrum. She is the author of several books on neurodivergent relationships, including her newest, Autism and the Two of Us: How Understanding Each Other Can Help You Build a Stronger, Lasting Love (Guilford Press). Dr. Ariel is widely recognized for her work with neurodiverse couples, combining clinical insight with advocacy for understanding, acceptance, and the celebration of all kinds of minds. She was doing this work long before most people had a framework for thinking about autism in adulthood. Learn more at alternativechoices.com.


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471. Motivational Interviewing with Kristin Dempsey04 août 202600:48:02

What do you do as a mental health provider when a client walks into your office and flat-out refuses to be there, is silent, or is disengaged?

In this episode, Michael chats with psychotherapist and Motivational Interviewing trainer Kristen Dempsey about her book, Advancing Motivational Interviewing, and how to actually navigate those cases.

They get into why Motivational Interviewing works so well when a client is stuck on the fence and how these skills end up being surprisingly useful outside the clinic, too. Kristen also breaks down how MI can help to build real connection early on, why our instinct to "fix" people almost always backfires, and how to work with mandated clients without getting into a power struggle. 

They also touch on practical group ideas, the whole concept of "lending hope," and how using MI might just save you from burning out. Tune in for the full chat!

Listen and Learn: 

  • How Motivational Interviewing (MI) helps clients uncover their own internal motivation for change 
  • Blending MI with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) to meet clients where they are and navigate ambivalence
  • Practical strategies for handling mandated and disengaged clients with the use of "comfort agreements," and offering flexible participation options
  • How practitioners can act as a "professional hoper" in Motivational Interviewing (MI) and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) 
  • How MI can prevent burnout and cultivate deeper curiosity, compassion, and presence in relationships 


Resources: 


About Kristin Dempsey

Kristin Dempsey is a psychotherapist, trainer, and counselor educator in the San Francisco Bay Area. She has over 30 years’ experience working with individuals, youth, and families with challenging behavioral issues that impact their lives, such as substance use disorders, co-occurring mental health and substance use disorders, trauma symptoms, and unresolved grief. Kristin believes that each individual has unlimited ability to change and grow, and she enjoys exploring the complexities of complex challenges and how to approach them with compassion and curiosity. Kristin has taught many classes in the counselor education curriculum, and she is currently focused on practitioner skill development, substance use disorder treatment, and effective practices in community mental health. Kristin is a member of the Motivational Interviewing Network of Trainers (MINT), and she currently teaches motivational interviewing to behavioral health and other allied human services professionals. She is an adjunct professor at the Wright Institute’s Counseling Psychology Program and lecturing faculty at San Francisco State University. Kristin is the author of The Harm Reduction Workbook for Addiction (New Harbinger, 2024), co-author of Advancing Motivational Interviewing: An Experiential Skills Guide for Mental Health Professionals (PESI, April 2026), and a writer for The Mental Health and Substance Use Recovery Workbook (New Harbinger, May 2027).


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470. Parenting Science in the Media: Lost in Translation28 juil. 202600:58:04

Don't stress over parenting advice, as much of it is based on clickbait, panic, and outdated science.

In this episode, we hear from science journalists and experts Melinda Wenner Moyer, Tracy Dennis-Tiwary, Jacqueline Nesi in a conversation with Emily on how to spot actual, trustworthy parenting guidance amid all the online noise.

Dismantling the myth of the "one-size-fits-all" approach, they explain why classic research was always meant to be flexible and why anyone claiming there is only one right way is usually just selling something. 

You'll also learn about the deep flaws in historical parenting studies and what modern research is getting right, as well as the viral panic surrounding screen time, extreme media narratives, and the real risks AI companions pose to kids' emotional growth. 

If you’d appreciate a reassuring, reality-based sanity check on modern parenting so you can tune out the fear and focus on what actually works for your family, tune in for this episode on Parenting Science in the Media.


Listen and Learn: 

  • How parenting advice moved past simple "good vs. bad" rules to look at how things like culture, environment, and everyday context actually shape what works 
  • Calling out rigid parenting advice, spotting the red flags, and breaking down why real child science actually depends on the context
  • Biases in parenting science and leaning into "goodness of fit" to figure out what actually works for your specific kid  
  • How nuanced, multi-method science often gets distorted by media algorithms and fear-based messaging and how to spot misleading science headlines 
  • How kids are actively using AI, why vulnerable or unfulfilled kids are most at risk of over-dependence, and how parents can guide their children through open communication rather than strict bans 
  • Positive trends in youth resilience and self-control, how modern parenting shifts drive these improvements, and why adults in every generation fall victim to the cognitive bias that "kids these days" are doomed 


Resources: 


About Melinda Wenner Moyer, Jacqueline Nesi and Tracy Dennis-Tiwary 

Melinda Wenner Moyer - Melinda Wenner Moyer is an award-winning science journalist and author. She’s a contributing editor at Scientific American magazine and a regular contributor at The New York Times. She’s the author of How to Raise Kids Who Aren’t Assholes and Hello, Cruel World! She also writes the popular parenting Substack Now What. 

Jacqueline Nesi - Jacqueline Nesi, PhD, is a Clinical Psychologist, Associate Professor at Brown University, and author of the popular weekly newsletter Techno Sapiens. Her research focuses on the role of technology in kids’ mental health (especially teens), and on how parents can help.

Tracy Dennis-Tiwary, PhD, is a clinical psychologist, professor, researcher, mental health tech entrepreneur, and AI safety advisor. Her research focuses on the intersection between digital technology and mental health. She writes about growing up and growing old in the digital age in news outlets like the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, and Washington Post, as well as on her Substack The Future of Sanity.  She is author of the book Future Tense: Why Anxiety is Good for You (Even Though it Feels Bad). 


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469. ACT Refresher with Matt Boone21 juil. 202601:06:05

We spend an exhausting amount of energy trying to outrun our own difficult thoughts and feelings.

For this episode, Jill Stoddard brings back ACT therapist, trainer, and author of The Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Skills Workbook, Matt Boone for a refreshingly grounded look at Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. Matt shares how his own path through chronic pain led him to ACT, breaking down why trying to "fix" uncomfortable inner experiences usually backfires.

You'll hear about why we procrastinate, how to unhook from spiral-inducing thoughts, and how to get unstuck when uncertainty feels overwhelming. Plus, Matt shares how ACT helps therapists dodge burnout. 

Join us for this practical guide to making peace with the noise in your head so you can finally move toward what actually matters.


Listen to POTC ad-free for just $5 a month by becoming a Mega Supporter on Patreon! Or, support the podcast with a one-time donation at Buy Me A Coffee!


Listen and Learn: 

  • How ACT moves away from trying to "fix" or eliminate difficult emotions, teaching people to live alongside their pain so they can focus energy on what truly matters 
  • Matt’s personal journey from chronic pain patient to ACT therapist, exploring how real-life experiences shaped their approach to therapy and led to designing experiential ACT training courses 
  • How Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) shifts the focus from managing symptom scores to creating meaningful, real-world behavior changes through experiential, values-based action 
  • Why "we hurt where we care," how procrastination and avoidance function to give us short-term relief, and how reconnecting with your deeper "why" can help you step through discomfort toward a full life 
  • How to define values as actionable, ongoing ways of being rather than fixed feelings, and discover practical tools 
  • Aligning small everyday actions with your values to allow you to act with intention, kindness, and self-acceptance, even in hard moments 
  • Major clinical hurdles and creative, practical exercises to act in alignment with your values anyway 
  • How mindfulness allows you to step back and observe unhelpful thoughts without getting tangled up in them or taking them as "capital-T truth 
  • Why arguing with your mind often backfires, how to shift focus from thought content to thought impact, and why taking a "leap of faith" empowers you to take meaningful action aligned with your values 


Resources: 


About Matt Boone: 

Matt Boone is a social worker, psychotherapist, and author who specializes in translating mental health concepts for the general public. His books include The Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Skills Workbook, co-authored with Jennifer Gregg, and Stop Avoiding Stuff: 25 Microskills to Face Your Fears and Do It Anyway, co-authored with Jennifer Gregg and Lisa Coyne.


He is the Associate Director at the Student Wellness Program (SWP) of the University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences (UAMS) and Instructor in the Department of Psychiatry. As the Clinical Director of Mental Health Coaching at Lyra Health, he oversaw the clinical development of Lyra’s mental health coaching program and offered workshops and webinars on mental health topics to workers in the tech industry. Lyra partners with eBay, Lyft, Uber, Servicenow and others to provide evidence-based care to their employees.


At Cornell University, he oversaw the development of Let's Talk, an outreach program that has since been replicated at nearly 100 other colleges and universities. 


He lives and works in Little Rock, Arkansas with his wife, guitars, and cats, Giorgia (a sassy Tortie) and Finley (a gentle giant orange kitty with a superhuman -- or superkitten-- capacity for empathy).


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468. Joyful and Impactful Climate Choices with Elizabeth Dunn and Jiaying Zhao14 juil. 202600:57:34

Sometimes saving the planet can feel like a massive, exhausting guilt trip. 

In this episode, Debbie sits down with University of British Columbia professors Elizabeth Dunn and Jiaying Zhao to talk about their book, Leave the Lights On: How Joyful Decisions Can Save Our Species. 

Their main point is about the whole "you must be perfect" climate messaging is totally backfiring, and focusing on joyful, high-impact changes is actually what keeps people motivated. Jiaying breaks down a massive 63-country study showing how scare tactics just make people want to shut down, and the duo debunks some common eco-myths.

It turns out that obsessing over turning off the lights or choosing the perfect reusable bag doesn't move the needle much. Instead, they shout out smarter, high-leverage moves like treating beef and lamb as occasional splurges, eating more plants, and traveling lighter. 

They also get into how to influence the people around you by making sustainable choices easy, attractive, and non-political, proving that individual habits and big systemic changes (like voting) both matter.


Listen and Learn: 

  • How "doom and gloom" climate messaging actually backfires by discouraging real-world action
  • Surprising insights from a massive global study of 60,000 participants across 63 countries
  • Finding joyful, climate-friendly lifestyle changes to create a positive feedback loop that makes us happier and more motivated to protect the planet 
  • How making practical, high-impact shifts in your daily habits like smarter food choices can create a truly sustainable difference for both you and the planet
  • Data-backed truth behind common environmental myths and how to easily focus your energy on the daily lifestyle choices that actually make a high-impact difference for the planet  
  • How to significantly lower your carbon footprint without sacrificing the foods you love
  • Reducing your carbon footprint without giving up the joy of travel by mastering the art of packing light, making smarter flight choices, and embracing the unexpected adventure of staycations 
  • How to inspire positive behavior change in others without lecturing them on climate change 
  • Why individual action and systemic change are not a false dichotomy, but rather a powerful partnership where local community engagement can drive larger policy shifts and boost your personal happiness 


Resources: 


About Elizabeth Dunn 

Elizabeth Dunn is Professor of Psychology at the University of British Columbia and coauthor of Happy Money. She directs UBC’s Happy Lab, which focuses on how to optimize valuable resources including time, money, and carbon to maximize human well-being. Her work has been featured in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, Los Angeles Times, The Atlantic, TIME, Rolling Stone, and Harvard Business Review; and on numerous podcasts and television shows, including Hidden Brain, NPR’s Short Wave, The Happiness Lab, Ten Percent Happier with Dan Harris, Morning Joe, and CBS Mornings. Dunn spoke on the TED mainstage in 2019, and her talk was selected as one of the top ten TED talks of the year.


About Jiaying Zhao

Jiaying Zhao (JZ) is Professor of Psychology and Sustainability and founded the Behavioral Sustainability Lab at the University of British Columbia, which designs and tests behavioral solutions that encourage climate action. She has worked with NASA, NOAA, and the US and Canadian Forest Service to develop pathways to net zero. Zhao has appeared on numerous podcasts and in documentary films, including Why Is This Happening? With Chris Hayes and Close the Divide. Her research has been featured in The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Atlantic, TIME, The Economist, Scientific American, CNN, and NBC. In 2023, Zhao gave a TED talk on climate strategies rooted in happiness, which was selected as one of the top TED Talks to be a better you in 2024.


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467. Bonded by Evolution with Paul Eastwick07 juil. 202600:57:21

Are we being lied to about the science of attraction?

In this episode, UC Davis relationship scientist and author of Bonded by Love: The New Science of Human Attachment, Paul Eastwick, challenges the massive online narratives around "mate value," hardwired gender differences, and dating strategies. It turns out a lot of the viral relationship theories we see online are built on shaky evidence, relying on photos and surveys rather than real, live human interaction.

Paul explains why what we say we want on paper almost never predicts who we actually fall for in person. He redefines compatibility not as a rigid trait-matching algorithm, but as something unique that two people construct together over time.

If you're ready to look past the internet's rigid dating rules and see how attraction actually works in the wild, tune in.

[And if you are interested in pre-ordering Yael’s book, Why Don’t You Understand Me?, this link will take you to the larger booksellers, while THIS link will take you to her pre-order bonus form. Thank you for supporting Yael’s book launch! https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSeq8tfQnl1o5GvfxrIrDzeOFtIvB8E16czMKajY3B8IDy1oww/viewform]


Listen and Learn:

  • The "Evo script" and the popular, outdated evolutionary psychology myths that dominate modern dating advice and why the latest science challenges its assumptions about mate value, gender differences, and relationship strategies 
  • Why popular evolutionary psychology models fail to predict real-world relationship success, and learn how relationship science reveals a far less competitive and much more hopeful reality of how we actually choose and stay with our partners 
  • Why the way we evaluate romantic partners on paper or dating apps is completely different from how we judge them in person 
  • The surprising scientific truth that our abstract checklists for a romantic partner rarely predict real compatibility, discovering instead how long-term satisfaction is built through shared experiences rather than finding someone who matches a mental template 
  • How actual data debunks extreme evolutionary psychology scripts about gender differences, revealing that men and women are much more aligned in their romantic and sexual desires than popular media and online advice suggest 
  • Why the concept of "mate value" and physical attractiveness only matter for short-term dating and initial impressions, while true long-term relationship success depends on compatibility that partners uniquely construct together rather than a predictable algorithm 
  • How relationship satisfaction and compatibility are not predetermined by matching personality traits, but are instead actively constructed through vulnerability, open-minded interactions, and the unpredictable connections built within real-world social networks 
  • Why platonic friendships between heterosexual men and women are not only entirely possible but also deeply enriching, mind-expanding, and a proven positive predictor for finding a romantic partner in the long run 
  • The major drawbacks of online dating, learn why you should wait until the third date before making a decision, and find out how a "failed" date can actually help you find your next match 


Resources:


About Paul Eastwick

Paul Eastwick is a professor of psychology at UC Davis, where he runs the Attraction and Relationships Research Laboratory. His work sits at the intersection of evolutionary psychology, social psychology, and close relationships research, meaning he has spent his career asking why people fall for who they fall for, and whether the stories we tell ourselves about that process hold up to scientific scrutiny.

His new book, Bonded by Love: The New Science of Human Attachment, makes a sweeping argument: the dominant narrative about human mating — attraction as hierarchy, competition, genetic optimization — isn't just incomplete. It's wrong in ways that matter. The real science of how humans form lasting bonds is, if anything, more interesting and more hopeful than what we've been sold.

His research has been funded by the National Science Foundation, he sits on the editorial boards of several major psychology journals, and he has the rare combination of scientific rigor and personal candor. Paul is also the co-host of Love Factually, a podcast he runs with Northwestern relationship researcher Eli Finkel, which fact-checks Hollywood rom-coms one movie at a time (and which happens to be one of Yael’s favorite binge-listens).


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466. Creating Meaning and Magic through Writing with Janina Scarlet30 juin 202601:05:37

For some people, stories are entertainment; for others, they can be a lifeline.

Janina Scarlet, licensed clinical psychologist, author, and founder of Divine Feminine Publishing, returns to discuss her work promoting books with strong female and gender-diverse representation. She shares how surviving illness after Chernobyl, along with physical and sexual abuse, led her to find comfort in stories and eventually become a writer. 

The conversation covers the challenges of writing about personal experiences, the importance of reading widely, separating drafting from editing, and protecting creativity. Janine also talks about researching and writing her Holocaust novel, Through Bullets and Thunderstorms, based on her grandmother’s survival in Ukraine. 


Listen and Learn: 

  • How surviving childhood trauma, abuse, and the aftermath of Chernobyl shaped Janina’s drive to write, revealing how fictional characters can serve as vital support systems and how shared vulnerability allows us to step into each other's worlds to find hope and healing
  • How sharing our deepest, most vulnerable personal stories is an act of courage that fosters post-traumatic growth and acts as a powerful reminder to others that they are not alone 
  • Kickstarting your writing journey by reading your target market and separating the creative writing process from the analytical editing phase 
  • Why giving up prematurely is a beginner's biggest mistake and how learning to "embrace the mess" of an imperfect first draft is the true secret to finishing your book 
  • How to break out of the research "bottomless pit" when writing about unfamiliar topics by leveraging interviews with experts and people with lived experience to craft authentic, deeply nuanced fiction 
  • The raw and deeply personal story behind Janina’s book, Through Bullets and Thunderstorms: Our Holocaust Survival Pact 


Resources: 


About Dr. Janina Scarlet

Dr. Janina Scarlet (she/her) is a licensed clinical psychologist, author, a neurodivergent, queer person with a disability, and founder of the Divine Feminine indie book publishing company. She has authored eighteen books and written chapters for twenty others.

Dr. Scarlet is the recipient of the Eleanor Roosevelt Human Rights Award from the United Nations Association. She regularly consults on books and television shows, including HBO’s Young Justice. She was also interviewed for Marvel’s MPower series and was portrayed as a comic book character in Gail Simone’s Seven Days graphic novel.

Dr. Scarlet’s goal is to promote books featuring at least 50% female and/or gender-diverse characters because when women and gender-diverse people have greater representation in fiction, it empowers them to have a stronger voice in real life.


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465. Tradwives, Influencers, and Reality TV with Debbie and Emily23 juin 202600:39:50

We’ve all been there: you’re scrolling through your feed, watching someone bake sourdough from scratch in a pristine linen dress, and suddenly your own life feels incredibly messy and chaotic. 

In this episode of Psychologists Off the Clock, Debbie and Emily are pulling back the curtain on the hyper-curated worlds of social media influencers, reality TV, and the massive "tradwife" trend.

Grab your headphones and get ready for a much-needed reality check on why we need to be way more skeptical of what we see on our screens.


Listen and Learn: 

  • What happened when Debbie fell down a Ballerina Farm rabbit hole
  • How glamorous images of the past conveniently leave out the harsh realities of history, like poverty, oppression, and environmental harm
  • How reality shows feed us false ideals, driving us into a spiral of social comparison and reinforcing toxic, patriarchal beauty standards
  • Why chasing these unrealistic lifestyles actually hurts our well-being
  • The rise of fear-based pseudoscience, MLMs, and totally unqualified "mental health influencers" who are just looking for clicks


Resources: 


About Debbie Sorensen

Debbie (she/her) is a clinical psychologist in private practice in Denver, Colorado with a bachelor’s degree in Psychology and Anthropology from the University of Colorado, Boulder, and a Ph.D. in Psychology from Harvard University. She is author of the book ACT for Burnout: Recharge, Reconnect, and Transform Burnout with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, and co-author of ACT Daily Journal: Get Unstuck and Live Fully with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. She loves living in Colorado, her home state, with her husband, two daughters, and dog. When she’s not busy working or podcasting, she enjoys reading fiction, cooking, traveling, and getting outdoors in the beautiful Rocky Mountains! You can learn more about Debbie, read her blog, and find out about upcoming presentations and training events at her webpage, drdebbiesorensen.com.


About Emily Edlynn

Emily (she/her) is a licensed clinical psychologist specializing in pediatric health psychology who works in private practice with children, teens, and adults. She has a BA in English from Smith College, a PhD in clinical psychology from Loyola University Chicago, and completed postgraduate training at Stanford and Children’s Hospital Orange County. Emily spent almost ten years working in children’s hospitals before pivoting to private practice, which allowed her to start a writing career. Emily has written her blog, The Art and Science of Mom, since 2017 and a parenting advice column for Parents.com since 2019. Emily’s writing has also appeared in the Washington Post, Scary Mommy, Good Housekeeping, Motherly, and more. She recently added author to her bio with her book, Autonomy-Supportive Parenting: Reduce Parental Burnout and Raise Competent Confident Children and has a Substack newsletter. Emily lives with her husband, three children, and two rescue dogs in Oak Park, IL where she can see Chicago’s skyline from her attic window.    


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464. Dad Brain with Darby Saxbe16 juin 202600:57:09

We’ve been told forever that women are the only natural caregivers, but neuroscience shows that’s just not true; men actually go through huge biological shifts when they become dads, too.

Sitting down with Emily for this episode is clinical psychologist Darby Saxbe, who chats to us about her book Dad Brain: The New Science of Fatherhood and How It Shapes Men’s Lives, which challenges neo-traditional assumptions about parenting roles. 

Their conversation highlights the biological reality of fatherhood, exploring how men experience hormonal shifts, brain changes, and even paternal postpartum depression. 

Darby also uncovers how hands-on parenting trends are shifting across generations, the connection between relationship conflict and a dad's mental health, and how policy changes like paid paternity leave can transform modern family dynamics.


Listen and Learn:

  • How the modern science of fatherhood rewrites traditional gender roles, why the "Dad Brain" is biologically wired for caregiving, and how millennial and Gen Z fathers are redefining the rewards and divides of modern parenting
  • The concept of "facultative adaptation" and how it shapes the natural variability of fatherhood 
  • How a father's brain and body prepare for parenthood during pregnancy
  • How a couple’s relationship conflict during pregnancy can directly impact the labor and delivery experience  
  • Why the prenatal period is a critical window for couples to proactively strengthen their communication, navigate relationship shifts, and better manage the stress and emotional toll of childbirth and early parenthood 
  • The ways postpartum depression manifests in new dads 
  • How a father's hormone levels naturally drop after birth and why high testosterone can unexpectedly strain romantic relationships and parenting 
  • The unique benefits of the father-child relationship 
  • Why we need to view men's mental health through a family lens 
  • How progressive policy shifts are working to empower and destigmatize active fatherhood 


Resources: 


About Darby Saxbe

Darby Saxbe, PhD, is a clinical psychologist and tenured full professor of psychology at the University of Southern California.

She has published over eighty scientific articles in peer-reviewed journals and secured major research grants from the National Institutes of Health and National Science Foundation. She earned awards from the American Psychological Association and the Society for Research in Child Development and was a Fulbright fellow. Dr. Saxbe received her PhD in clinical psychology from UCLA and her BA in English and psychology from Yale University.

Her research focuses on the transition to parenthood, particularly the neural and hormonal underpinnings of fatherhood. She integrates neuroscience and psychology to explore how close connections shape health and wellbeing.

When she is not doing research, she hangs out with her husband and two kids, plays guitar in an all-mom indie rock band, and writes the Substack newsletter, Natal Gazing. She was a mediocre contestant on the show Who Wants to Be A Millionaire and recently lost a chili cookoff.


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463. Doubting Accusers; Protecting Abusers09 juin 202600:52:07

When a survivor speaks up, the world too often demands a 'perfect victim' before it offers belief, a painful reality that leaves many wondering if their truth will ever be enough. 

In this episode with Deborah Tuerkheimer, author of Credible: Why We Doubt Accusers and Protect Abusers, we hear about the “credibility complex,” including credibility discount and credibility inflation, rape myths, the “perfect victim” and “monster abuser” archetypes, and how victim-blaming and disbelief are reinforced by culture and legal rules. 

You’ll also learn about underreporting, the “second assault,” trauma-informed investigation, expert testimony on trauma dynamics, and how loved ones can respond supportively when someone discloses abuse. Listen in to understand why credibility judgments are patterned and how believing, validating, and offering help can change what happens next. 


Listen and Learn: 

  • The credibility complex and how social power dynamics cause the credibility of marginalized individuals to be discounted while powerful individuals receive an inflated boost
  • Why society perpetuates rape myths and victim-blaming 
  • How the "perfect victim" myth is weaponized against survivors in the legal system 
  • How institutional disbelief and victim-blaming are systemic realities baked into the penal code
  • Why cultural tropes and a deep-seated "care gap" cause society to minimize astronomical statistics, overstate the prevalence of false reports, and prioritize the futures of perpetrators over the lives of victims 
  • How the cultural myth of the "monster abuser" prevents fair credibility judgments by creating a false archetype of a deviant stranger 
  • How the justice system creates an institutional imbalance by weaponizing an accuser's personal history while shielding a perpetrator’s past behavior 
  • How physical attractiveness acts as a "Goldilocks" trap for victims' credibility
  • Why true progress relies on upending a systemic culture of impunity rather than relying solely on institutional training 


Resources: 


About Deborah Tuerkheimer

Deborah Tuerkheimer is a professor at Northwestern University Pritzker School of Law. She earned her undergraduate degree from Harvard College and her law degree from Yale Law School. Tuerkheimer served for five years as an Assistant District Attorney in the New York County District Attorney's Office, where she specialized in domestic violence and child abuse prosecution. She teaches and writes in the areas of criminal law, evidence, and feminist legal theory. She is also the author of CREDIBLE: Why We Doubt Accusers and Protect Abusers (Harper Wave/HarperCollins).


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462. In a Good Place with Leidy Klotz02 juin 202600:44:05

It’s easy to live life on autopilot, with your eyes glued to a screen, completely disconnected from your physical surroundings. 

But as we learn in this episode with Leidy Klotz, the spaces you inhabit aren't just backdrops; they are actively shaping your mind, moods, and memories. 

Talking about Leidy’s latest book, In a Good Place, you’ll hear about Leidy’s framework of agency, growth, and belonging; why attention to physical environments matters in an age of screens and automation; how workplaces and homes can support different needs through thoughtful choice and design; and how spaces anchor powerful memories.


Listen and Learn: 

  • Modern automation and screen time are subtly changing the way you interact with your physical surroundings and how you can intentionally reclaim your agency in the environments you navigate every day 
  • Why some modern architectural choices and environmental distractions might actually be making it harder for you to form genuine connections with the people right in front of you 
  • Breaking through modern habits, tune out your digital devices, and actively re-engage with the world around you 
  • How different personality types navigate physical environments
  • How having personal agency and direct control over one's space profoundly increases comfort levels 
  • Allowing spaces to serve as powerful physical conduits for processing grief, honoring lost loved ones, and preserving their spirit through physical landmarks 


Resources: 


About Leidy Klotz: 

Leidy Klotz is a professor at the University of Virginia whose research sits at the intersection of physical design and behavioral science. Before academia, he designed schools in New Jersey — and before that, he played professional soccer. A man who has never met a lane he wasn't willing to cross.

His first book, Subtract, uncovered our systematic bias toward adding rather than removing, and what we lose in the process. His latest, In a Good Place: How the Spaces Where We Live, Work, and Play Can Help Us Thrive, explores how the spaces we inhabit quietly shape how we think, feel, and connect — usually without our awareness. It's also a deeply personal book whose emotional resonance defies easy summary.


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461. A Little More Social with Nicholas Epley26 mai 202600:50:37

When was the last time you sparked up a conversation with a stranger and surprised yourself with how good it felt? 

Behavioral scientist Nicholas Epley, author of A Little More Social, returns to the podcast to discuss with Michael why we systematically underestimate how positively strangers respond, how connection supports happiness, health, and longevity, and the key mechanisms behind our social pessimism (misjudging warmth vs. competence, overlooking reciprocity, and self-fulfilling avoidance). 

Nicholas shares research on how quickly people update after a conversation and how fast those gains can fade, plus practical “easy choice” experiments like asking someone to take your photo or simply asking, “Can you tell me your story?” 

Plus, in a special post-interview discussion, listener-turned-friend of Michael’s, therapist Dr. Jennifer Kauder, joins Michael to reflect on voice vs. text, comfort-zone challenges, and why real-time connection changes everything.


Listen and Learn: 

  • The surprising benefits of connecting with people you don't know, and why our minds trick us into fearing these interactions that can lengthen and enrich our lives
  • Psychological traps that make us overly pessimistic about reaching out to others, and why we miss out on deeper, happier connections due to misplaced expectations 
  • Research on why trying to push past social awkwardness just once isn't enough, and why our brains quickly forget positive interactions 
  • Why our confidence drops right before we approach someone new, the psychology behind why starting a conversation is much easier than anticipating it, and how small mindsets can instantly dissolve social anxiety 
  • A simple, foolproof question that skips past awkward small talk, ignites genuine curiosity, and uncovers the fascinating, hidden stories


Resources: 


About Nicholas Epley

Nicholas Epley is the John Templeton Keller Distinguished Service Professor of Behavioral Science and Director of the Roman Family Center for Decision Research, at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business. He studies social cognition—how thinking people think about other thinking people—to understand why smart people so routinely misunderstand each other. He teaches an ethics and happiness course to MBA students called Designing a Good Life. His research has appeared in more than two dozen empirical journals, been featured by the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, CNN, Wired, and National Public Radio, among many others, and has been funded by the National Science Foundation and the Templeton Foundation. He has been awarded the 2008 Theoretical Innovation Award from the Society for Personality and Social Psychology, the 2011 Distinguished Scientific Award for Early Career Contribution to Psychology from the American Psychological Association, the 2015 Book Prize for the Promotion of Social and Personality Science, and the 2018 Career Trajectory Award from the Society for Experimental Social Psychology. Epley was named a “professor to watch” by the Financial Times, one of the “World’s Best 40 under 40 Business School Professors” by Poets and Quants, and one of the 100 Most Influential in Business Ethics in 2015 by Ethisphere. He is the author of Mindwise: How We Understand What Others Think, Believe, Feel, and Want. 

His new book, A Little More Social: How Small Choices Create Unexpected Happiness, Health, and Connection, was published in May! (Our UK listeners will find the book titled Hello: The Unexpected Power of Choosing To Connect)


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460. How to Raise Emotionally Mature Children with Lindsay Gibson19 mai 202600:53:22

Parenting often feels like a high-stakes guessing game played in the middle of a meltdown or a deafening teenage silence.

Clinical psychologist and bestselling author Lindsay C. Gibson returns to Psychologist Off the Clock to discuss her new book, "How to Raise an Emotionally Mature Child," and the core mindsets that build emotional maturity across development. 

You’ll hear how emotionally immature parenting shows up, why self-reflection protects against repeating harmful patterns, how mistakes and repair strengthen trust, and what it looks like to treat kids as fully human with rich inner worlds, even when they don’t say much or you don’t understand them. 

Listen for a relational, autonomy-supportive approach that can improve parenting and adult relationships alike. 


Listen and Learn:

  • How the toddler-like self-centeredness of emotionally immature parents forces their adult children to constantly manage everyone else's happiness at the absolute cost of their own identity and peace
  • Why breaking the cycle of childhood trauma doesn't require being a perfect parent, but rather practicing self-awareness and honoring your child's deeply sensitive
  • Why parenting is a relational enterprise rather than a production line, where meaningful connection isn't measured by long-winded conversations, but by showing genuine curiosity and active engagement 
  • Shifting from "carpentry-style" parenting that forces a narrow path to "gardening-style" parenting that nourishes the child's true, unique self 
  • Why true parenting connection doesn't require you to perfectly understand your child at all times, but rather to create a safe, curious environment where they feel inherently understandable 


Resources:


About Lindsay Gibson

Lindsay Gibson, PsyD, is a clinical psychologist specializing in emotional maturity and its ripple effects across the lifespan. Her book Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents became a #1 bestseller and has helped countless readers make sense of their childhoods — and themselves. Her newest book, How to Raise an Emotionally Mature Child, takes that work upstream, exploring what it actually looks like to raise kids who are emotionally grounded and self-aware. With a background that spans art, literature, and clinical psychology, Lindsay brings a rare combination of intellectual curiosity and practical wisdom to her work. She practices in Virginia Beach, Virginia, and has a habit of mailing Carl Rogers books to people she likes — which is how she became one of Yael's favorite humans.


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459. How to Rehuman Our Lives with Stephanie Malia Krauss12 mai 202600:58:47

Modern life has become a gauntlet of "dangerous weather" that frequently strips away our most basic human needs.

In this episode, Emily speaks with author and strategist Stephanie Malia Kraus about her book, How We Thrive, and the essential practice of "rehumaning." 

Stephanie breaks down the four systemic forces, from hustle culture to addictive tech, that undermine our well-being and offers a roadmap for reclaiming play, wonder, and rest. 

The discussion bridges the gap between ancient Hawaiian wayfinding and modern neuroscience, highlighting the critical importance of restorative "downstates" and simple regulation tools for navigating an increasingly overstimulated world.


Listen and Learn:

  • How the Hawaiian tradition of Wayfinding teaches us to navigate a world that has "shifted on its axis" by anchoring into timeless human essentials, and influenced Stephanie's book
  • Why the friction you feel in parenting isn't a personal failure, but a biological mismatch between our human nature and modern society 
  • Recognizing the four universal forces: Overtapped, Overworked, Overstimulated, and Overwrought, and understanding why feeling depleted isn't a personal failure, but a natural response to the "stormy" conditions of modern living 
  • Why our modern "social jet lag", the mismatch between our hectic schedules and our biological needs, is fueling a youth mental health crisis, and how reclaiming "human essentials" like sleep, play, and internal attunement can act as a biological superpower for both parents and teens 
  • How the practices of celebrating small wins, contributing to others, and nurturing an inborn sense of belief act as biological shields that restore our dignity and spark a protective sense of hope even in the most difficult seasons of life 
  • How "lemon squeezes", a simple technique of tensing and releasing your muscles for 20 seconds, uses the science of progressive muscle relaxation to signal safety to your nervous system and bring your body back into balance in less than a minute 


Resources:


About Stephanie Malia Krauss

Stephanie Malia Krauss is an author, speaker, and strategist focused on rehumaning childhood and our lives. Her newest book, How We Thrive, explores the urgent need to protect human essentials—like sleep, play, and connection—that modern life diminishes or denies. An educator and social worker who has worked from the classroom to Congress, Stephanie now advises states, districts, and national organizations on holistic approaches to preparing and caring for kids. Stephanie is the bestselling author of Whole Child, Whole Life: 10 Ways to Help Kids Live, Learn, and Thrive and Making It: What Today’s Kids Need for Tomorrow’s World. Her work has been featured by Newsweek, PBS NewsHour, Parents, and more.


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458. The Pain/Brain Connection with Alan Gordon05 mai 202600:52:56

We’ve been taught that pain always means something is broken, but it’s often just a "stuck" danger signal in the brain. 

To show us how to turn that signal off, Jill Stoddard talks with Alan Gordon, the founder of the Pain Psychology Center and author of The Way Out. Drawing on his own recovery from chronic pain, Alan explains how fear and conditioning keep us hurting even after we've healed.

Through fascinating stories like the "construction worker" case and MRI surprise, they dive into the science of neuroplastic pain and the tools you can use to retrain your nervous system, build stress tolerance, and finally feel safe in your own body again.


Listen and Learn:

  • Alan’s personal frustration with navigating a broken medical system and how that led to the discovery of a groundbreaking mind-body approach that offers lasting relief for chronic pain
  • How your brain can misinterpret emotional stress or past memories as physical danger to create real, persistent pain even after an injury has fully healed 
  • The specific clues that can reveal whether your chronic physical pain is actually coming from your brain, and how to break the cycle of fear that keeps symptoms alive 
  • The reason why traditional recovery methods can fail when we ignore our internal state, and how "backward engineering" your physical tension can signal to your brain that the danger has passed 
  • Why the clinical evolution of Pain Reprocessing Therapy shifted from exploring unconscious emotions to targeting the brain's internal danger signals, and how modern neuroscience identifies the hidden driver keeping your physical symptoms alive 
  • Why somatic tracking outperforms traditional mindfulness 


Resources:


About Alan Gordon

Alan Gordon is the creator of Pain Reprocessing Therapy (PRT) and founder of the Pain Psychology Center. He developed PRT through years of clinical practice and research, and its efficacy has been validated in randomized controlled trials published in JAMA Psychiatry. He is the author of The Way Out: A Revolutionary, Scientifically Proven Approach to Healing Chronic Pain.


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457. Tiny Experiments with Anne-Laure Le Cunff28 avr. 202600:43:33

What if success isn’t about grinding toward big goals but about following curiosity through small, imperfect experiments that lead somewhere better?


On Psychologist Off the Clock, award-winning neuroscientist and entrepreneur Anne-Laure Le Cunff, founder of Nest Labs and author of Tiny Experiments, shares how a health scare while working at Google helped her shift from rigid, linear goals to an experimental mindset rooted in curiosity. 


You’ll hear about common “cognitive scripts” (the sequel, crowd pleaser, and epic scripts), how to design tiny experiments to test beliefs without framing outcomes as failure, and how to reframe success as learning. 


The conversation also covers “surface area for luck,” the difference between legacy and generativity, and ends with reflections on goals, values, and meaningful community support.


Listen and Learn: 

  • How Anne-Laure’s career was fueled by imposter syndrome, and led to a life-threatening wake-up call that pushed her to rethink priorities and embrace a more experimental, balanced path 
  • Why rigid, linear goals only work when everything is certain, and why it’s more effective to replace them with curiosity and experimentation 
  • Why many of your goals come from hidden “cognitive scripts,” and by questioning them, you can move from autopilot to intentional choices
  • Doing “tiny experiments” and observing results without judgment before deciding what to adjust or repeat 
  • Why instead of treating outcomes as success or failure, you should approach situations like small experiments, where everything that happens, especially mistakes, is just useful data for learning and adjusting 
  • The “Surface area for luck” and why the more you try new things, meet people, and put yourself in different situations, the more you increase the chances of unexpected good opportunities happening in your life 
  • Focusing on making a real-time, meaningful impact on people and communities around us through everyday acts of care and mutual support


Resources: 


About Anne-Laure Le Cunff

Anne-Laure Le Cunff is an award-winning neuroscientist and entrepreneur. She is the founder of Ness Labs, where her weekly newsletter is read by more than 100,000 curious minds. Her research at King’s College London focuses on the psychology and neuroscience of lifelong learning, curiosity, and adaptability. Her book, Tiny Experiments, is a transformative guide for living a more experimental life, turning uncertainty into curiosity, and carving a path of self-discovery. Previously, she worked at Google as an executive on digital health projects. Her work has been featured in Rolling Stone, Forbes, Financial Times, WIRED, and more. 


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456. High Conflict with Amanda Ripley21 avr. 202600:55:09

Being absolutely sure you’re right should settle an argument, but somehow, it often does the opposite. Instead, things escalate, tensions rise, and before you know it, the conflict has taken on a life of its own. 

For this episode, Yael welcomes New York Times bestselling author, trained mediator, and Good Conflict co-founder Amanda Ripley to unpack her book  High Conflict: Why We Get Trapped, and How We Get Out, and the difference between “good conflict” that strengthens us and “high conflict” that feeds on contempt, disgust, and rigid us-versus-them thinking. 

You’ll hear why high conflict makes us more error-prone while feeling more righteous, how group belonging and media incentives can keep the cycle going, and practical ways to interrupt the pattern like Gary Freeman’s three-question pause before speaking. 

Listen to learn how to stay in the fight without losing nuance, curiosity, or yourself.


Listen and Learn:

  • The distinction between healthy conflict that helps you grow and the kind that quietly turns destructive in ways you may not notice 
  • Why conflicts can quietly take over our thinking, shifting us into an us-versus-them mindset 
  • Why do we get pulled into conflicts that drain us even when we know the cost, and what keeps us hooked?
  • How can even people deeply engaged with information find themselves pulling away from conflict, and what does that reveal about the hidden dynamics of high conflict
  • How you can recognize the early signs of high conflict and shift toward more productive, healthier conversations before things escalate


Resources: 


About Amanda Ripley: 

Amanda Ripley is a New York Times bestselling author, magazine journalist, and co-founder of Good Conflict, a media and training company helping people reimagine how we fight. She has written three award-winning nonfiction books — The Unthinkable, The Smartest Kids in the World, and High Conflict — each following people through transformations to uncover what the rest of us can learn. Her most recent book, High Conflict, chronicles how good conflict metastasizes into something that consumes everything in its path — and, crucially, how people find their way out. A trained mediator herself, Amanda's work reveals that escape from high conflict isn't about being nicer; it's about learning to genuinely comprehend what you still disagree with. Her writing has appeared in the Atlantic, the Washington Post, and Politico Magazine, among others.


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455. The New Blueprint for College Success with Ana Homayoun14 avr. 202601:00:42

If your teen is getting caught in cycles of comparison, burnout, or avoidance while trying to “do enough” for college, this conversation offers a different perspective.


Emily talks with Ana Homayoun about her book Erasing the Finish Line and what really matters beyond grades, test scores, and prestige.


They walk you through unhealthy patterns in college admissions culture, how technology amplifies anxiety, and why most institutions actually accept the majority of applicants. Their conversation also reveals how long-term success depends far more on relationships and meaningful engagement than on brand-name schools.


Join Emily and Ana for practical strategies to help your teens build executive functioning systems, shift from time management to energy management, strengthen social capital through supporters and clarifiers, and rethink grind culture, including the role of youth sports.


Listen and Learn: 

  • Focusing less on comparison and more on building your own strengths and systems for shaping both college outcomes and the kind of work you end up loving later
  • How parents’ own fears and need for control shape the college process can undermine a student’s fit and well-being, and what it takes to step back so they can truly thrive
  • How technology has reshaped college admissions in ways that make independent research, real-world exploration, and staying open-minded more important than ever for finding the right fit
  • Why the most “competitive” colleges may feel that way by design, and how choosing the right environment and relationships over prestige can shape your future more than you expect
  • Focusing on executive functioning skills to shape your teen’s long-term success in ways grades alone never reveal
  • Making small shifts in structure, mindset, and environment to unlock a child’s ability to plan, adapt, and thrive without pressure or perfection
  • How having friendships across different age groups quietly builds confidence, perspective, and real connection in ways most students do not expect
  • Sharing and building social capital in small, everyday ways to quietly shape opportunities for teens and create unexpected outcomes
  • Giving kids real choices, a safe space to fail, and multiple places to belong to builds the confidence, motivation, and life skills they carry into adulthood
  • How shifting from managing time to managing your energy transforms focus, behavior, and motivation


Resources: 


About Ana Homayoun: 

ANA HOMAYOUN is the founder of Silicon Valley–based Green Ivy Educational Consulting and executive director of Luminaria Learning Solutions, which develops student programs focused on executive functioning and well-being. She is also the author of That Crumpled Paper Was Due Last Week, The Myth of the Perfect Girl, and Social Media Wellness. Her work has been featured in The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Atlantic, Fast Company, and NPR and on Good Morning America and NBC News. Learn more about her work at www.anahomayoun.com. Her most recent book, Erasing the Finish Line, comes out in paperback on June 9th with the updated title, Getting in Is Not Enough: The New Blueprint for Success Beyond Grades, Test Scores, and College Admission. 


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454. Remain Calm. Confidence Ahead with Michael Herold07 avr. 202600:45:10

If you’ve ever avoided saying yes to something meaningful because you were waiting to feel less anxious or more “ready,” this episode is for you.


Cohosts Yael and Michael Herold sit down for a chat about his confidence-building online course and the misconceptions that keep people stuck, especially the idea that motivation and the “right mindset” must come first. 


You’ll hear how acceptance and commitment therapy reframes anxiety as a passenger you can bring along while you drive toward your values, why rigid social scripts don’t work, and how low-stakes “comfort zone challenges” (like lying down in public) help you practice courage, defuse unhelpful thoughts, and tolerate discomfort without real-world consequences.


Join Michael and Yael for lots of practical insight, humor, and a preview of tools that can help you step into the life you want.


Listen and Learn: 

  • Why confidence isn’t built by fixing your mindset first, but by taking action on what matters
  • Why you can’t learn confidence from scripts or perfect phrases, and confidence only develops through practice, not preparation
  • How to step outside your comfort zone by practicing small, low-stakes challenges that reveal how thoughts and emotions create avoidance, and how to disarm them so you can act on what matters instead of defaulting to fear-based reactions
  • Why worrying about annoying others can hold you back from confidence, and learning confidence means acting respectfully on what matters, even when that fear is present
  • Comfort-zone challenges to expand confidence and even meaningfully change the direction of your life
  • Building confidence through practical, real-world exercises with Michael’s course


Resources: 



About Michael Herold

Michael (he/him) is a confidence trainer and social skills coach, based in Vienna, Austria.  He’s helping his clients overcome their social anxiety through Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and fun exposure exercises. (Though the jury is still out on whether they’re mostly fun for him). He is also a certified therapeutic game master, utilizing the Dungeons&Dragons tabletop roleplaying game to train communication, assertiveness, and teamwork with young adults. Or actually, anyone ready to roll some dice and battle goblins in a supportive group where players want to level up (pun!) their social skills. Michael is the head coach of the L.A. based company The Art of Charm, running their confidence-building program “Unstoppable” as well as workshops on small talk, storytelling, vulnerability, and more. He is the scientific advisor and co-producer of their large podcast with more than 250 million downloads. As a member of the Association for Contextual Behavioral Science (ACBS), Michael is the current President of the ACT Coaching Special Interest Group with nearly 1,000 coaches worldwide, and the co-founder of the ACT in Austria Affiliate of ACBS, a nationwide meetup for ACT practitioners in Austria. He’s a public speaker who has spoken at TEDx, in front of members of parliament, universities, and once in a cinema full of 500 kids high on sugary popcorn. In a previous life, he was a character animator working on award-winning movies and TV shows such as “The Penguins of Madagascar” and “Kung Fu Panda”. That was before he realized that helping people live a meaningful life is much more rewarding than working in the film business – even though the long nights in the studio allowed him to brew his own beer in the office closet, an activity he highly recommends. Michael grew up with five foster kids who were all taken out of abusive families. His foster sisters showed him how much positive change is possible in a person if they have the love and support they need.


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453. The Power of Guilt with Chris Moore 31 mars 202600:55:53

Guilt can feel uncomfortable and easy to push away, but it is one of those emotions that actually serves an important purpose in our lives.

For this episode, Debbie sits down with developmental psychologist Chris Moore, author of The Power of Guilt, to unpack what guilt really is and why it plays such an important role in our lives and relationships. Informed by both research and personal experience, Chris offers a perspective that might completely change how you see this emotion.

You’ll come away with an understanding of where guilt comes from, how it shows up in everyday life, from childhood to parenting to relationships, and why some people feel it more than others. 

They also get into topics like apology, forgiveness, and how guilt can actually help us repair and strengthen connections. 


Listen and Learn: 

  • How a single life-altering mistake shaped how Chris understands guilt, responsibility, and forgiveness
  • How guilt quietly reveals the hidden ways our most important relationships shape what we feel and why we’re driven to repair something we might not fully understand yet
  • Does the guilt you feel over small things like unfinished chores reveal deeper, hidden influences from the relationships that shaped your internal rules and standards?
  • Why feelings like guilt begin much earlier than we assume and later grow into something far more complex and central to relationships
  • Why some people feel guilt far more intensely than others, and how personality, relationships, and even gender differences quietly shape that experience in ways you might not expect
  • Why feeling like you are never doing enough as a parent might actually come from the very nature of caring for someone vulnerable, and what that reveals about guilt being more automatic than accurate
  • How guilt can quietly become a tool of control when forgiveness is withheld
  • How ideas like restorative justice and even collective guilt reshape the way we understand responsibility and emotional repair in society
  • Why guilt, though uncomfortable, can actually serve as a powerful internal signal that helps us recognize when a valued relationship may need attention and guide us toward repairing and strengthening it


Resources:

  • The Power of Guilt: Why We Feel It and Its Surprising Ability to Heal

https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9781637747728


About Chris Moore

Dr. Chris Moore is a professor of psychology and former dean of science at Dalhousie University in Canada, as well as a former Canada Research Chair at the University of Toronto. He holds a PhD in developmental psychology from the University of Cambridge and an MFA in creative nonfiction from the University of King’s College. He has spent his career studying human social understanding and relations, and has published well over 100 research papers, edited 5 books and special issues of academic journals, and authored The Development of Commonsense Psychology (Psychology Press, 2006). He has had numerous invitations to present at academic conferences and universities around the world and has enjoyed many research collaborations in Canada, the United States, Australia, Germany, China, and the UK. Moore’s work has been cited in mainstream print publications such as Psychology Today, Today’s Parent, and the New York Times. His research has also been featured in a variety of TV documentaries, including The Nature of Things and the Baby Human series on Discovery Health. His new book, The Power of Guilt: Why We Feel It and Its Surprising Ability to Heal, is his first for a general audience. He lives in Nova Scotia with his family.


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452. How to Disagree Better with Julia Minson25 mars 202600:56:59

If you’ve ever ended an argument with your partner, coworker, or family member feeling confused about how it escalated so quickly, this episode is for you. 

Julia Minson, founder of the Constructive Disagreement Lab and author of How to Disagree Better, explains to us why trying to “win” arguments often starts fights and offers a different metric for success: a disagreement that increases both people’s willingness to talk again. 

Drawing on her work on naive realism and research on receptiveness, she discusses why differences feel threatening, how listening is hard to perceive in conflict, and how language can signal receptivity using the HEAR framework. Listen in to learn evidence-based tools to make hard conversations in your life more constructive.


Listen and Learn: 

  • Julia’s upbringing in a family of psychologists, her immigrant experience, and her years as a ballroom dancer, and why people can share the same moment yet see it completely differently, making disagreement inevitable
  • Why a truly constructive disagreement isn’t about “winning” or changing minds, but about improving mutual willingness to continue the conversation and deepening understanding
  • Naive realism and the tendency to assume our perceptions are objectively correct, which underlies everyday conflicts, because everyone thinks “I get it” and struggles to see others’ perspectives
  • How true receptiveness works, not just thinking receptively, but expressing it clearly through language so others genuinely feel heard, especially in conflict or disagreement
  • How to use the HEAR framework to communicate receptively and build stronger relationships
  • Julia’s Hawk story and how approaching disagreements with curiosity rather than judgment can turn tense or potentially divisive moments into understanding, connection, and even common ground


Resources: 


About Julia Minson: 

Julia Minson is a professor of public policy at Harvard Kennedy School and founder of the Constructive Disagreement Lab, where she studies what she calls the "psychology of disagreement" — how we actually engage with views that conflict with our own, especially on the hot-button stuff: politics, values, health decisions.

Her new book, How to Disagree Better, starts from a counterintuitive premise: we're drowning in advice on how to win arguments, but Julia's research shows that trying to win is basically a guaranteed way to start a fight. Her work offers evidence-based strategies for being genuinely receptive to opposing views, which turns out to be far more effective than perfecting your persuasion game.


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451. Start Here: Navigating Overwhelm with Kerry Makin-Byrd18 mars 202600:50:03

Overwhelm can push us to a point where the tools we normally rely on suddenly feel out of reach. 

In this episode, clinical psychologist and burnout expert Kerry Makin-Byrd discusses her book Start Here: A Practical Guide for the Overwhelmed, created as a simple, step-by-step guide for moments when thinking clearly feels difficult. She explains overwhelm as being outside the “window of tolerance,” when the nervous system moves into overarousal or shutdown, and everyday functioning, like sleep, mood, and decision-making, can be disrupted.

Kerry introduces a three-part approach called Soothe, Transcend, Move. The idea is to regulate the body first, then shift perspective with self-compassion, and finally focus on one small action that aligns with your values. 


Listen and Learn: 

  • Kerry’s simple illustrated guide for turning overwhelming stress into clear, actionable steps you can actually use in the moment
  • How overwhelm shows up in your body and mind can look completely different from others and might be quietly sabotaging your focus and energy
  • Practicing small daily skills to train your mind to handle stress more quickly and effortlessly under pressure
  • How you can instantly calm your body and unlock clearer thinking using a surprising science-based “chill out” practice from the first step of a three-part emotional regulation system
  • How Kerr’s three-step approach can help you calm your body, shift perspective, and navigate stress more effectively
  • Reflective support to overcome burnout and compassion fatigue in helping professions


Resources:


About Kerry Makin-Byrd

Dr. Kerry Makin-Byrd is a clinical psychologist and noted burnout and well-being expert who translates science into practical non-fiction. An alum of Penn State, UC San Francisco, and the Palo Alto VA Health Care System/Stanford School of Medicine (affiliated), she was honoured with the Veterans Health Administration’s Special Contribution Award for nationally impactful policy work and clinical teaching. A burnout survivor herself, Dr. Kerry is the author of the memoir The Ballad of Burnout. Based in Wellington, New Zealand, she divides her time between writing, providing trauma therapy, and mentoring doctors and therapists. Her favorite types of rest are cold swims with her family and cackling with friends.


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450. Life After Weight Loss with Jill Stoddard11 mars 202600:44:33

Weight feels like one of those topics everyone has an opinion on, yet it’s deeply personal for each of us. So, for this episode, Emily and Jill take the opportunity to dig into what it’s like to navigate body changes in a world full of strong opinions, from the rise of GLP-1 medications to the stigma that can come with medical or surgical interventions.

Jill opens up about her own journey with weight, body image, and ultimately deciding to have gastric bypass surgery, including what’s shifted for her since, physically, emotionally, and socially. 

They also talk about the judgment people can face, how conversations about health often get reduced to discipline or willpower, and also zoom out to explore the bigger cultural messages about bodies and how therapists can support clients in talking about weight in ways that move beyond shame or “fixing.” 


Listen and Learn: 

  • Why shame, Yo-yo dieting, and a surprising therapy session insight led Jill to discover a life-changing path that transformed her health, mindset, and relationship with exercise
  • Why the idea that weight loss tools are “cheating” reveals deeper cultural biases about bodies, health, and who gets judged for the choices they make
  • How constant pressure on women’s bodies may actually distract from power, health, and autonomy in ways most people never question
  • Focusing on values instead of weight loss goals to help you stop postponing the life you want to live
  • How changing your relationship with cravings and “food noise” through psychological flexibility can make long-term weight loss maintenance more possible


Resources: 


About Jill Stoddard 

Jill Stoddard is passionate about sharing science-backed ideas from psychology to help people thrive. She is a psychologist, writer, TEDx speaker, award-winning teacher, peer-reviewed ACT trainer, bariatric coach, and co-host of the popular Psychologists Off the Clock podcast. Dr. Stoddard is the founder and director of The Center for Stress and Anxiety Management, an outpatient practice specializing in evidence-based therapies for anxiety and related issues. She is the author of three books: The Big Book of ACT Metaphors: A Practitioner’s Guide to Experiential Exercises and Metaphors in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy; Be Mighty: A Woman’s Guide to Liberation from Anxiety, Worry, and Stress Using Mindfulness and Acceptance; and Imposter No More: Overcome Self-doubt and Imposterism to Cultivate a Successful Career. Her writing has also appeared in The Washington Post, Psychology Today, Scary Mommy, Thrive Global, The Good Men Project, and Mindful Return. She regularly appears on podcasts and as an expert source for various media outlets. She lives in Newburyport, MA with her husband, two kids, and disobedient French Bulldog.  


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449. How to Feel Loved with Sonja Lyubomirsky and Harry Reis04 mars 202600:48:55

Feeling loved sounds simple, but it is not something that just happens because someone cares about you. 

In this episode of Psychologists Off the Clock, Yael talks with Sonja Lyubomirsky and Harry Reis about their book, How to Feel Loved: The Five Mindsets That Get You More of What Matters Most, and why it is possible to be loved but not actually feel loved.

They explore what really helps people feel cared for and understood in any kind of relationship, why stress or attachment patterns can get in the way, and how small mindset shifts like listening to learn or being willing to go first can make a big difference in how connected you feel.

It is less about following relationship rules and more about how you show up. Your curiosity, your openness, and your willingness to understand someone else and let yourself be understood too. If connection sometimes feels harder than it should, this episode is for you.


Listen and Learn: 

  • How the happiness habits you already know, like gratitude or kindness, may actually work by strengthening a hidden relationship dynamic that makes people feel deeply understood and loved in everyday interactions
  • What are the key ingredients that quietly combine to make us feel truly loved and understood by others?
  • How feeling loved often depends less on what’s done for us and more on whether we truly feel seen, understood, and connected in the moment
  • How shifting your mindset in love can transform simple behaviors into deeper, more genuine connections that naturally grow intimacy
  • How showing up first in relationships can feel risky, but it often unlocks deeper connections in ways you might not expect
  • Why feeling loved isn’t just about what you receive, it’s about how you understand and respond to the love others are trying to give
  • Embracing the messy, multifaceted parts of yourself to completely change how you experience love and connection


Resources: 


About Sonja Lyubomirsky and Harry Reis: 

Sonja Lyubomirsky is a Distinguished Professor of Psychology at UC Riverside and the author of The How of Happiness and The Myths of Happiness. She's also a returning guest on Psychologists Off the Clock — you can catch her first appearance in episode 227.

Harry Reis is a Dean's Professor of Psychology at the University of Rochester and one of the most influential relationship scientists working today, known for foundational research on intimacy, responsiveness, and what makes people feel truly connected.

Together, they've written How to Feel Loved: The Five Mindsets that Get You More of What Matters Most — a book that reframes the question most of us have been asking wrong.


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448. The Power of Oversharing with Leslie John25 févr. 202600:50:59

Oversharing has a bad reputation. But what if revealing more about yourself is actually the fastest way to build trust? 

To give us insight into the psychology behind oversharing — when it builds connection and when it backfires — we’re joined by behavioral scientist and author of Revealing: The Underrated Power of Oversharing, Leslie John.

Leslie guides us through the surprising benefits of self-disclosure, exploring how revealing personal information can strengthen social bonds and increase trust. 

She also shares research on how disclosure impacts relationships, workplace dynamics, and even physiological stress, and explains how to find the “Goldilocks zone” where sharing is just right, without overburdening others.


Listen and Learn: 

  • How sharing something a little uncomfortable can instantly build trust and make people like and choose you even more than someone who keeps everything private
  • Why the instant regret after saying something vulnerable makes us play it safe, while the real price of not opening up shows up later in missed connection we never even realize we lost
  • How sharing just a little more than usual in conversations can create connection and prompt others to open up with you
  • Asking deeper, slightly risky questions to turn awkward small talk into real connection and reveal surprising ways people bond
  • Recognizing when sharing with a friend is helping or hurting your relationship and the surprising way your closest friendships reveal your emotional limits
  • How sharing small vulnerabilities at work can actually boost trust and credibility without crossing professional boundaries
  • How encouraging young kids to show their feelings now could help them handle stress later and navigate tricky social pressures as they grow
  • Sharing personal stories to light up your brain’s pleasure centers, and why that might be more rewarding than you think


Resources: 


About Leslie John

Leslie John is the James E. Burke Professor of Business Administration at the Harvard Business School. Her award-winning research appears in top academic journals and media, including The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, and The Economist. A Canadian-born, internationally trained ballet dancer, she now calls Boston home


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447. Fawning with Ingrid Clayton17 févr. 202601:04:28

If you struggle with people-pleasing and losing yourself in relationships, this episode with Ingrid Clayton, a licensed clinical psychologist and expert in relational trauma, about her book Fawning: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves and How to Find Our Way Back, is a conversation that can help you understand and transform patterns holding you back. 

Exploring fawning, which is a lesser-known trauma response shaped by caretaking, appeasement, and self-abandonment, you’ll learn how it often shows up as anxiety and hypervigilance. 

And, through personal and client stories, you’ll gain insights on reclaiming authenticity, navigating backlash, and starting the process of “unfawning.”


Listen and Learn:

  • Why do some people cope with relational trauma by becoming overly accommodating or pleasing?
  • How people-pleasing might actually be your nervous system choosing safety in ways that once protected you, but could now be quietly shaping your identity and relationships without you realizing it, and what it actually takes to reconnect with who you are
  • How chronic fawning can look like emotional strength on the outside while quietly disconnecting you from your own anxiety and body
  • How what looks like dishonesty can actually be a survival response that once kept you safe, and what it takes to notice when it starts keeping you stuck
  • How tuning into what you notice in your body can be the first uncomfortable but powerful step to breaking people-pleasing patterns and building more authentic relationships
  • Why red flags can feel like home after emotional abuse and how learning to trust your own resentment might be the first step toward building a truly safe relationship


Resources:


About Ingrid Clayton

Dr. Ingrid Clayton is a licensed clinical psychologist with a master’s in transpersonal psychology and a Ph.D. in clinical psychology.  She’s had a thriving private practice for more than sixteen years and is a regular contributor to Psychology Today, where her blog “Emotional Sobriety” has had more than a million views.  She lives in Los Angeles, California. 

Book: Fawning: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves--and How to Find Our Way Back: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9798217045327


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446. Cognitive Household Labor with Allison Daminger 11 févr. 202601:01:58

Behind the scenes of everyday family life is a mental workload many of us carry without even realizing it, and that’s exactly what Debbie Sorensen explores in her interview with sociologist Allison Daminger about her book, What's on Her Mind: The Mental Workload of Family Life. 


Allison defines cognitive labor as the invisible work of managing family needs and obligations, and walks us through its importance for individual well-being and relationship satisfaction. 


The discussion also touches on how these tasks are often unrecognized in statistics, the gender dynamics in cognitive labor, and the implications for families and workplaces. 


You’ll also get a look at insights from her research involving both different-sex and same-sex couples, and she suggests ways to address gender imbalances through individual, cultural, and systemic changes.


Listen and Learn: 

  • How cognitive household labor silently shapes family life
  • How mental load secretly drains energy in daily life and why the invisible tasks of keeping a household running can be more exhausting than anyone realizes
  • Why the small, everyday decisions parents make reveal hidden patterns in family life that most people never notice
  • Why women often carry the mental load at home even when they out-earn or out-work their partners
  • How couples explain unequal household labor reveals that what seems like personality differences is actually shaped by deeply ingrained social and cultural expectations around gender
  • The surprising ways “superhuman” and “bumbler” roles shape relationships and what small changes can help partners share the load more freely
  • Insights from same-sex couples on sharing mental load and the lessons they offer for balancing household responsibilities


Resources: 


About Allison Daminger

Allison Daminger is an assistant professor of sociology at UW-Madison and the author of the new book What's on Her Mind: The Mental Workload of Family Life. Daminger's research is focused on how and why gender shapes family dynamics, particularly the division of work and power in couples. Her award-winning scholarship has been published in top academic journals and featured in outlets including The Atlantic, The New York Times, and Psychology Today. Daminger holds a Ph.D. in Sociology and Social Policy from Harvard University and lives with her family in Madison, Wisconsin. 


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445. The Unexpected Magic of Caring with Elissa Strauss04 févr. 202600:53:49

Caregiving is often framed as a burden, but what if it’s also one of the most meaningful ways we come to know ourselves?

Emily sits down with acclaimed journalist and cultural critic Elissa Strauss for this episode to discuss her extensive work on the politics and culture of parenting and caregiving, which has appeared in publications like The Atlantic and The New York Times. 

Centering on her new book, When You Care: The Unexpected Magic of Caring for Others, they challenge feminist notions that have undervalued caregiving and explore how caregiving can enrich one's sense of self. 

You’ll hear about the philosophical foundations of care ethics and how caregiving for various dependents, not just children, brings profound personal growth, scientific research on caregiver well-being, the importance of male caregivers, and also the need for systemic support for caregivers.


Listen and Learn: 

  • How redefining caregiving, not as a burden, but as a powerful source of meaning and self-expansion, might change what we think feminism, motherhood, and what a “full” life actually look like
  • How caregiving across parenting, disability, and aging becomes an intense, surprising mirror that reshapes identity and meaning in ways most of us never expect
  • The research that shows why caregiving doesn’t have to wear you down, and under certain conditions, it can actually make you healthier and even help you live longer
  • How one husband turned the challenges of caregiving into moments of quiet activism, love, and connection
  • How does caring for others bring meaning, even when day-to-day life feels messy?
  • What if the real barrier for working caregivers isn’t just the glass ceiling but the glass door separating home and work, and how breaking it could change everything we value about care?
  • Why men’s brains change when they care for others, how caregiving reshapes masculinity, and what it really means for dads today
  • Why caring for those closest to us isn’t just personal—it’s a radical philosophical lens that could change how we think about society itself


Resources: 


About Elissa Strauss

Elissa Strauss is a journalist, essayist, and cultural critic who has been writing about the politics and culture of parenting and caregiving for more than fifteen years. Her work appears in publications like the Atlantic, the New York Times, Glamour, ELLE, and elsewhere, and she was a former contributing writer at CNN.com and Slate. Her book, "When You Care: The Unexpected Magic of Caring for Others," is out now from Gallery Books, and she writes a Substack called "MADE WITH CARE."


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444. Mattering with Jennifer Wallace27 janv. 202600:52:38

In a world that’s more connected than ever yet feels increasingly lonely, award-winning journalist Jennifer B. Wallace explores why the simple human need to matter may be the most powerful force shaping our well-being. 


Joining Yael to discuss her new book, Mattering: The Secret to a Life of Deep Connection and Purpose, Jennifer underscores the crucial role of mattering in fostering resilience and well-being, emphasizing its importance in both personal and professional contexts. You’ll gain practical ways to cultivate a sense of mattering, learn about the importance of attunement in relationships, and understand the significance of social contexts in mental health. 


She also reflects on the impact of technology on our social connections and the valuable lessons learned from her research on creating ecosystems that support mattering.


Listen and Learn: 

  • The discovery that shifted Jennifer’s entire research focus and why the real key to kids’ resilience may actually lie in how adults experience purpose, value, and “mattering” in their own lives
  • Why “mattering” goes beyond belonging or purpose and how feeling both valued and impactful may be the hidden factor that determines whether people truly engage or quietly burn out
  • How a simple moment of everyday rudeness can quietly undermine our sense of mattering, and why understanding that reaction can completely change how you interpret (and respond to) those interactions
  • How a lesson learned from Jennifer’s father about making people feel like they matter shaped their entire life
  • Why feeling like you “matter” isn’t something you can fix alone, and how small, often uncomfortable moments of connection, dependence, and even friction are actually where real healing and meaning are built
  • Why do some people never seem to feel that they matter, even when the evidence is right in front of them, and what actually helps (and doesn’t) when you’re trying to show someone they do?
  • How attunement can transform everyday interactions and make people feel deeply seen, valued, and connected


Resources:


About Jennifer B Wallace

Jennifer Breheny Wallace is an award-winning journalist and author of the New York Times bestselling book Never Enough: When Achievement Culture Becomes Toxic—And What We Can Do About It, which was named an Amazon Best Book of the Year, and for which she joined us on POTC episode 324. She's also the founder of The Mattering Institute, whose mission is to create cultures of mattering in workplaces and communities, and co-founder of The Mattering Movement, a nonprofit dedicated to creating cultures of mattering in schools. Jennifer started her journalism career at CBS's 60 Minutes. She's contributed to The Wall Street Journal and The Washington Post, and she's here today to talk about her forthcoming book Mattering: The Secret to a Life of Deep Connection and Purpose.


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443. Shift with Ethan Kross20 janv. 202600:45:37

We all feel emotions every day, but how often do we stop to understand what they really are and how they work? 

Joining Michael for this episode is Ethan Kross, a renowned authority on emotion regulation and author of Shift: Managing Your Emotions—So They Don’t Manage You, for a conversation about the science behind how our internal dialogue affects health, performance, and relationships. 

Ethan explains what emotions are, how they function, and the importance of teaching emotional regulation skills from a young age. 

He also covers various tools and strategies that can help you manage your emotions more effectively, shares examples from his books, and highlights significant studies.


Listen and Learn: 

  • Why we have emotions and how they quietly shape our thoughts, bodies, and actions in ways most of us don’t fully notice
  • Why meaningful moments almost always come with emotional friction, and what that reveals about living a purposeful life
  • The 50-year study that shows how early emotion skills shape health, money, and relationships
  • What happens when logic is pushed too far, and emotions are removed, and how science suggests a more balanced approach that quietly shapes better outcomes in work, relationships, and life
  • Why managing emotions isn’t about suppressing them, but learning how you can use the right tools at the right time to keep them working for you instead of against you
  • Simple mental shifts that help you move through discomfort and emotional blocks faster


Resources: 


About Ethan Kross

Ethan Kross is one of the world’s leading experts on emotion regulation. An award-winning professor and bestselling author in the University of Michigan’s top- ranked Psychology Department and its Ross School of Business, he studies how the conversations people have with themselves impact their health, performance, decisions, and relationships.

Ethan was born and raised in Brooklyn, New York. He attended the University of Pennsylvania, where he was elected to Phi Beta Kappa and graduated magna cum laude. After earning his PhD in Psychology from Columbia University, Ethan completed a post-doctoral fellowship in social-affective neuroscience to learn about the neural systems that support self-control. He moved to the University of Michigan in 2008, where he founded the Emotion & Self Control Laboratory.

Ethan’s research has been published in Science, The New England Journal of Medicine, and The Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, among other peer-reviewed journals. He has participated in policy discussion at the White House and has been interviewed on CBS Evening News, Good Morning America, Anderson Cooper Full Circle, and NPR’s Morning Edition. His pioneering research has been featured in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, The New Yorker, Harvard Business Review, USA Today, The Economist, The Atlantic, Forbes, and Time.

Ethan is the two-time National Bestselling author of SHIFT: Managing Your Emotions—So They Don’t Manage You and  CHATTER: The Voice in Our Head, Why it Matters and How to Harness It. His books are routinely featured in the worlds’ top media (e.g., New York Times, Wall Street Journal, BBC, The New Yorker), have garnered multiple accolades and been translated into over 40 languages. 


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442. The 6th Stage of Grief with David Kessler13 janv. 202600:59:10

What if grief isn’t something to “get over” but something that can lead us toward meaning, connection, and healing? 

Jill interviews David Kessler, a leading expert on loss and healing. They discuss Kessler's background, his books, especially Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief, and his journey through personal grief, including the loss of his son. 

David shares insights on the stages of grief, differentiates between practical and emotional grief, and stresses the importance of finding meaning and community in the healing process. 

He also touches on the role of children at funerals and the concept of continuing bonds with deceased loved ones. Tune in for invaluable perspectives on enduring and transforming through profound loss.


Listen and Learn: 

  • How David's life was transformed by severe personal trauma and loss into a path devoted to assisting others in overcoming grief
  • Why grief is a natural consequence of choosing love and connection rather than a defect or failure
  • David’s more expansive definition of grief 
  • Challenging the idea that grief has a timeline and how healing isn’t about “ending” grief, but learning how to carry it differently
  • The non-linear and deeply personal journey of loss and what it takes to show up for yourself in the hardest moments
  • How facing grief head-on can transform pain into growth and reveal unexpected meaning in life’s hardest moments
  • Why some people seem to sail through grief while others struggle silently
  • How meaning often hides in the small, unexpected moments of life and loss


Resources: 


About David Kessler 

David Kessler is one of the world’s foremost experts on loss and healing. His decades of experience with thousands of people on the edge of life and death has taught him the secrets to living a happy and fulfilled life, even after life’s tragedies. He is the author of seven books including his latest bestselling book, Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief, as well as a new Finding Meaning Companion Workbook. He co-authored two books with Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, Life Lessons and On Grief and Grieving. He co-wrote You Can Heal Your Heart with Louise Hay and also wrote Visions, Trips and Crowded Rooms: Who and What You See Before You Die. His first book, The Needs of The Dying received praise from Saint (Mother) Teresa.


His article in the Harvard Business Review, titled, The Discomfort You Are Feeling is Grief went viral and was named one of “The Most Influential and Innovative Articles from Harvard Business Review’s First Century. His talk with Brené Brown was the #1 podcast in the world. He also hosted his own Spotify Podcast called Healing with David Kessler.


He has a unique place in pop culture as one of his books being the premise for the season premiere of The Walking Dead and he was a question on Alex Trebek’s Jeopardy.   His new online model of grief support, Tender Hearts, offers over twenty-five groups. Additionally, David leads one of the most respected Grief Educator Certification programs. He is the founder of Grief.com.


Related Episodes:

52. Palliative Care and Healing with Michael Kearney

116. Building a Meaningful, Values-based Life with Jenna LeJeune

117. Bearing Unbearable Loss: A conversation About Grief with Joanne Cacciatore

157. The Art of Dying Well with Katy Butler

351. You Only Die Once with Jodi Wellman

384. Understanding Grief and Loss with Meghan Riordan Jarvis

419. Break Up on Purpose with John Kim



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441. Having It All with Corinne Low06 janv. 202600:54:38

So many women grow up hearing that we should be able to have it all, yet very few of us are ever shown what that actually looks like in real life.

In this episode, Emily welcomes Corinne Lowe, an associate professor of Business Economics and Public Policy. 

Corinne shares insights from her book, Having It All: What Data Tells Us About Women’s Lives and Getting the Most Out of Yours, which examines gender wage gaps, structural discrimination, and the pressures women face when balancing career, family, and personal life.

This conversation focuses on redefining success in a way that truly fits your values, being more intentional with your time, and finding fulfillment on your own terms. You’ll also come away with practical strategies for workplace negotiations, rethinking productivity, and creating a more sustainable balance between work and life.


Listen and Learn: 

  • How structural barriers limit women’s career and wage growth, and encourage redefining success by focusing on personal fulfillment and leveling up within those realities
  • How women face systemic workplace barriers that collectively limit their opportunities and earnings, and why addressing these issues benefits everyone
  • Debunking myths about women’s performance, showing that traits like negotiation skill and competitiveness are not inferior, and that focusing on evidence-based skill-building is what truly drives success
  • Understanding and prioritizing your own “utility function” to help women focus on what matters to them, rather than constantly comparing themselves to others
  • How to rethink your career as a tool for turning time into meaningful fulfillment, balance life’s chapters intentionally, and confidently understand your market value to make work serve you
  • Reclaiming your time, setting boundaries, and making intentional choices to focus on what truly brings joy and meaning to your family and life, instead of being trapped by guilt, obligation, or unrealistic expectations
  • Reframing parenting and self-care as “human capital” investment, showing how the time and care you give to your children and to yourself is meaningful, economically valuable, and essential for long-term wellbeing


Resources: 


About Corinne Low

Corinne Low is an Associate Professor of Business Economics and Public Policy at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania where she teaches an award-winning class (and was named one of Poets and Quants 40 MBA Professors under 40 in 2024). Her research on the economics of gender has been published in top journals such as the American Economic Review, Quarterly Journal of Economics, and Journal of Political Economy. Corinne and her work have been featured in major media outlets, such as The New York Times, CBS Mornings, Forbes, New York Magazine, and The Guardian. Corinne regularly speaks to and advises firms in addition to teaching in Wharton’s Executive Education programs. She is the author of Having It All: What Data Tells Us About Women's Lives and Getting the Most Out of Yours. She received her Ph.D. in Economics from Columbia University, her B.S. in Economics and Public Policy from Duke University and formerly worked for McKinsey and Company.


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440. The Creativity Choice with Zorana Ivcevic Pringle31 déc. 202500:57:24

Creativity is not just for artists or makers, so how can we build creativity and move from having an idea to doing something with it? 

Joining Jill for this conversation is Zorana Ivcevic Pringle, a senior research scientist and the author of The Creativity Choice. Zorana discusses her journey into the world of creativity, the broader definition of creative acts beyond the arts, and how our emotions play a crucial role in creative processes. 

She emphasizes embracing discomfort, finding inspiration in frustration, and the necessity for community and collaboration in creative endeavors. 

This episode is a must-listen if you're curious to explore your own creative potential and bust the myth that creativity is just for the naturally gifted artists.


Listen and Learn:

  • How a formative childhood experience with art and creative differences sparked Zorana’s lifelong passion for studying creativity
  • How creativity isn’t limited to the arts; it can appear in everyday life, work, and problem-solving, showing that everyone has the potential to be creative
  • Overcoming fear, uncertainty, and the ‘gap trap’ by embracing discomfort, practicing creative self-efficacy
  • Why creativity is less about sudden inspiration and more about exploring problems deeply, asking questions, experimenting, and allowing solutions to emerge
  • How both positive and negative emotions serve as valuable information that can inspire creativity
  • Why creative blocks are a normal part of the process, and why approaching them with self-compassion can help overcome them and restore creative flow
  • How creativity and community intersect, and how collaboration or social connections can support the creative process


Resources:


About Zorana Ivcevic Pringle

Zorana Ivcevic Pringle, Ph.D., is a Senior Research Scientist at the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence. Zorana studies the role of emotion in creativity and well-being, examines the role of the arts and art-related institutions in building creativity, and wants to know how we move from having an idea to doing something with it. She edited the Cambridge Handbook of Creativity and Emotions, publishes research in creativity studies, and speaks to diverse audiences about creativity and how to make it happen. Zorana received the Award for Excellence in Research from the Mensa Education and Research Foundation and the Berlyne Award for Outstanding Early Career Achievement in psychology of aesthetics, creativity, and the arts from the American Psychological Association.


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439. Reflection and Creativity in the New Year: A Cohost Episode26 déc. 202500:43:32

If you’ve been dragging some of last year around with you, or you’ve been feeling that strange mix of excitement and pressure that shows up every January, this episode is calling your name. 

Closing out the year, the POTC cohosts are bringing you a conversation about how creativity can be a lifeline, a mindset shift, and a really enjoyable way to start 2026 feeling more like yourself.

Walking you through simple ways to reflect on the past year, we share some creative exercises that spark real insight and explore how tuning into your creative side can help you make meaning, connect with people, and better handle the tough stuff life throws at you. 

If you’re craving more joy, connection, or just a new angle on the year ahead, you’re bound to find something that resonates.

So settle in, and join us in starting the year with intention, curiosity, and a little touch of creativity.


Listen and Learn: 

  • Reflection Exercises, including: 
  • Finding Meaning: Reflecting on the past year, where were you last New Year’s, and what were your biggest highs and lows since then
  • Meaningful Moments: Reflecting on two or three meaningful moments from the past year and vividly recalling the sights, sounds, and feelings of each experience
  • Lessons, Wins and Moving Forward: Reflecting on your past year to uncover lessons from mistakes, celebrate achievements, and clarify what truly matters to you as you move into 2026
  • Vision for the Year Ahead: Reflecting on what you truly want, the areas you’ve neglected, and the values you want to prioritize in the year ahead
  • How incorporating creative, life-affirming activities can boost your well-being and help you navigate life’s challenges
  • Practical exercises and tips to spark more creativity in your life in the new year


Resources: 


About the POTC CoHosts: 

Debbie Sorensen, PhD, Co-host

Debbie (she/her) is a clinical psychologist in private practice in Denver, Colorado with a bachelor’s degree in Psychology and Anthropology from the University of Colorado, Boulder, and a Ph.D. in Psychology from Harvard University. She is author of the book ACT for Burnout: Recharge, Reconnect, and Transform Burnout with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, and co-author of ACT Daily Journal: Get Unstuck and Live Fully with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. She loves living in Colorado, her home state, with her husband, two daughters, and dog. When she’s not busy working or podcasting, she enjoys reading fiction, cooking, traveling, and getting outdoors in the beautiful Rocky Mountains! You can learn more about Debbie, read her blog, and find out about upcoming presentations and training events at her webpage, drdebbiesorensen.com.


Jill Stoddard, PhD, Co-host

Jill Stoddard is passionate about sharing science-backed ideas from psychology to help people thrive. She is a psychologist, writer, TEDx speaker, award-winning teacher, peer-reviewed ACT trainer, bariatric coach, and co-host of the popular Psychologists Off the Clock podcast. Dr. Stoddard is the founder and director of The Center for Stress and Anxiety Management, an outpatient practice specializing in evidence-based therapies for anxiety and related issues. She is the author of three books: The Big Book of ACT Metaphors: A Practitioner’s Guide to Experiential Exercises and Metaphors in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy; Be Mighty: A Woman’s Guide to Liberation from Anxiety, Worry, and Stress Using Mindfulness and Acceptance; and Imposter No More: Overcome Self-doubt and Imposterism to Cultivate a Successful Career. Her writing has also appeared in The Washington Post, Psychology Today, Scary Mommy, Thrive Global, The Good Men Project, and Mindful Return. She regularly appears on podcasts and as an expert source for various media outlets. She lives in Newburyport, MA with her husband, two kids, and disobedient French Bulldog.  


Michael Herold, Co-Host

Michael (he/him) is a confidence trainer and social skills coach, based in Vienna, Austria.  He’s helping his clients overcome their social anxiety through Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and fun exposure exercises. (Though the jury is still out on whether they’re mostly fun for him). He is also a certified therapeutic game master, utilizing the Dungeons&Dragons tabletop roleplaying game to train communication, assertiveness, and teamwork with young adults. Or actually, anyone ready to roll some dice and battle goblins in a supportive group where players want to level up (pun!) their social skills. Michael is the head coach of the L.A. based company The Art of Charm, running their confidence-building program “Unstoppable” as well as workshops on small talk, storytelling, vulnerability, and more. He is the scientific advisor and co-producer of their large podcast with more than 250 million downloads. As a member of the Association for Contextual Behavioral Science (ACBS), Michael is the current President of the ACT Coaching Special Interest Group with nearly 1,000 coaches worldwide, and the co-founder of the ACT in Austria Affiliate of ACBS, a nationwide meetup for ACT practitioners in Austria. He’s a public speaker who has spoken at TEDx, in front of members of parliament, universities, and once in a cinema full of 500 kids high on sugary popcorn. In a previous life, he was a character animator working on award-winning movies and TV shows such as “The Penguins of Madagascar” and “Kung Fu Panda”. That was before he realized that helping people live a meaningful life is much more rewarding than working in the film business – even though the long nights in the studio allowed him to brew his own beer in the office closet, an activity he highly recommends. Michael grew up with five foster kids who were all taken out of abusive families. His foster sisters showed him how much positive change is possible in a person if they have the love and support they need.


Emily Edlynn, PhD, Co-Host

Emily (she/her) is a licensed clinical psychologist specializing in pediatric health psychology who works in private practice with children, teens, and adults. She has a BA in English from Smith College, a PhD in clinical psychology from Loyola University Chicago, and completed postgraduate training at Stanford and Children’s Hospital Orange County. Emily spent almost ten years working in children’s hospitals before pivoting to private practice, which allowed her to start a writing career. Emily has written her blog, The Art and Science of Mom, since 2017 and a parenting advice column for Parents.com since 2019. Emily’s writing has also appeared in the Washington Post, Scary Mommy, Good Housekeeping, Motherly, and more. She recently added author to her bio with her book, Autonomy-Supportive Parenting: Reduce Parental Burnout and Raise Competent Confident Children and has a Substack newsletter. Emily lives with her husband, three children, and two rescue dogs in Oak Park, IL where she can see Chicago’s skyline from her attic window.   


Yael Schonbrun, PhD, Co-host

Yael (she/her) is a licensed clinical psychologist who wears a number of professional hats: She has a small private practice specializing in evidence-based relationship therapy, she’s an assistant professor at Brown University, and she writes for nonacademic audiences about working parenthood. She has a B.A. from Washington University in St. Louis, a Ph.D. in clinical psychology from the University of Colorado, Boulder, and completed her postgraduate training at Brown University. In all areas of her work, Yael draws on scientific research, her clinical experience, ancient wisdom (with an emphasis on Taoism), and real life experiences with her three little boys. You can find out more about Yael’s writing, including her book, Work, Parent, Thrive, and about her research by clicking the links. You can follow Yael on Linkedin and Instagram where she posts about relationship science or subscribe to her newsletter, Relational, to get the science of relationships in your email inbox!


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438. The Hypocrisy Trap with Michael Hallsworth16 déc. 202500:51:13

We’ve all rolled our eyes at someone's behavior, only to realize, uncomfortably, that we’ve done the same. 

Join Yael in this conversation discussing this very common human experience with Michael Hallsworth, the author of The Hypocrisy Trap. Michael breaks down the nature of hypocrisy, including its historical origin and why it is such a prevalent issue in our lives and in politics. 

You’ll also hear how societal norms and personal biases can play into our confrontations with hypocrisy and take away effective strategies to minimize it in your daily interactions. 

Check it out if you want a new take on this age-old problem and why understanding it can lead to more authentic and trusting relationships. 


Listen and Learn:

  • Understanding hypocrisy as a judgment we make about inconsistencies 
  • The surprising origin of the word “hypocrite” and how its meaning evolved
  • Why hypocrisy isn’t always bad and how to balance consistency and context in our actions
  • How calling out hypocrisy can backfire, creating more of it, and making the term lose meaning, while revealing surprising insights about human behavior
  • Why we’re often blind to our own double standards in relationships and how our perception of intentions gives us more leniency for ourselves than for others
  • Why a level of hypocrisy is inevitable in democratic politics
  • Is tolerating some political and personal hypocrisy necessary, even when it feels uncomfortable to do so?
  • Strategies to understand, reduce, and respond to hypocrisy, and learning why shifting how we view inconsistency can lead to less cynicism and more meaningful change


Resources


About Michael Hallsworth

Dr. Michael Hallsworth, author of The Hypocrisy Trap. Michael has spent two decades applying behavioral science to real-world problems, teaching at places like UPenn, Princeton, and Columbia. And he's taken all that academic knowhow to help design better policies and services for governments and organizations around the world.


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437. Wise Effort with Diana Hill 09 déc. 202500:57:58

Are you wisely using your genius energy? 

In this episode, Michael reconnects with Diana Hill, a therapist and author who has recently explored the concept of focusing your genius energy on what matters most through her book Wise Effort.

Their discussion spans from insights from ancient Buddhist wisdom to the application of commitment therapy to the practice of finding one's unique 'genius energy.' 

If you’re interested in practical ways to maximize your strengths, handle emotional challenges, and cultivate a meaningful and balanced life, you’ll want to join them to unearth actionable tips and exercises for making the most out of your efforts and ultimately enhancing your well-being.


Listen and Learn: 

  • What is “Wise Effort” and how can this practice reshape your energy, choices, and well-being?
  • Identifying and using your unique “genius energy” while also recognizing how overusing those strengths can become a stumbling block, and how cultivating awareness, curiosity, and context helps direct those strengths with wisdom
  • Practical self-reflection questions to uncover your genius
  • A simple four-question “energy audit” for knowing when to dial your genius up or down
  • Where true wisdom really comes from, and what if rethinking how growth happens
  • Adopting “Wise Effort” helps you understand your struggles in context, align your actions with your values, and transform both self-judgment and relationships
  • Bringing mindful intention to even mundane tasks to transform how you use your time, connect with yourself, and balance structure with flexibility in a meaningful life


Resources: 


About Diana Hill

Dr. Diana Hill, PhD is a clinical psychologist, author, international trainer, and recognized expert in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), compassion-based interventions, and psychological flexibility. With a background that bridges neuroscience, mindfulness, and behavioral science, she is known for making complex psychological concepts both practical and inspiring.


A summa cum laude graduate of the University of California, Santa Barbara, where she majored in Biopsychology, Dr. Hill earned her doctoral degree in Clinical Psychology from the University of Colorado at Boulder. She later collaborated with Dr. Debra Safer at Stanford University, researching Dialectical Behavior Therapy and Appetite Awareness Training (AAT) for bulimia nervosa. She completed her clinical internship at the University of California, Davis, followed by a postdoctoral fellowship at La Luna Intensive Outpatient Center, where she later served as Clinical Director and developed their ACT- and AAT-based treatment program.

A leading voice in the evolution of ACT and Process-Based Therapy, Dr. Hill works closely with pioneers in the field. She co-leads ACT BootCamp Training for Therapists with ACT founder Dr. Steven Hayes and is actively involved in shaping the future of therapy—including applications of AI, advances in diagnostic systems, network modeling, and process-based approaches. She serves as a senior meditation teacher and curriculum developer for the University of California’s Climate Resilience Initiative, integrating ACT and mindfulness into interdisciplinary environmental education.

Dr. Hill has contributed to publications in the International Journal of Eating Disorders and co-authored a seminal article on Process-Based Therapy, advancing evidence-based clinical practice. She is a contributor to PsychFlex, a digital platform that helps clinicians incorporate ACT into their work and track client outcomes in real time through ecological measurements. She also speaks regularly at global conferences including the Association for Contextual Behavioral Science (ACBS) World Conference, Innovations in Psychotherapy, and the Evolution of Psychotherapy Conference.

In addition to her clinical and academic work, Dr. Hill teaches at organizations and retreat centers such as InsightLA, Blue Spirit Costa Rica, PESI, and PraxisCET. She serves on the clinical advisory board of Lightfully Behavioral Health and is a board member of the Institute for Better Health.

She is the author of Wise Effort: How to Focus Your Genius Energy on What Matters Most (Sounds True, 2025), The Self-Compassion Daily Journal, I Know I Should Exercise But…, and ACT Daily Journal. Her insights have been featured in NPR, The Wall Street Journal, Psychology Today, Mindful, Prevention, Real Simple, Woman’s Day, and other leading media outlets. She is also the host of the Wise Effort podcast.

With more than 20 years of study and practice in yoga and meditation—including training in the tradition of Thich Nhat Hanh—Dr. Hill integrates contemplative practice into her approach to healing and growth. She lives in California, where she raises two sons, cares for bees, and embodies the Wise Effort principles she teaches—living a life guided by presence, purpose, and compassion.


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436. Consent Laid Bare with Chanel Contos03 déc. 202500:57:26

How can we reshape the understanding of consent and more effectively address the widespread problem of sexual violence? 

Start by joining Jill for a conversation with award-winning activist Chanel Contos, who is bringing attention to the complexities of consent, sexual coercion, and rape culture through her book Consent Laid Bare. 

Chanel’s pioneering work in making consent education mandatory in Australia shows what’s possible and what could be achieved worldwide.

We invite you to listen in to broaden your knowledge about gender norms, the dangers of low empathy and high entitlement, practical steps to foster empathy in young people, and much more. 

This is a crucial conversation that has the potential to make a huge difference in everyone's lives.


Listen to POTC ad-free for just $5 a month by becoming a Mega Supporter on Patreon! Or, support the podcast with a one-time donation at Buy Me A Coffee!


Listen and Learn: 

  • Chanel’s personal experiences with early consent education and witnessing systemic injustice that led to the creation of Teach Us Consent?
  • Why clear, affirmative consent is understood as the active seeking of an enthusiastic “yes,” rather than simply the absence of a “no” 
  • Distinguishing between different categories of rape
  • Does the normalization of misogyny and the lack of social consequences contribute to rape culture and make sexual assault socially acceptable within peer groups and broader society?
  • How language and metaphors, like the “blueberry” analogy, reveal the hidden social dynamics where men benefit from gendered power structures
  • How language shapes recognition of sexual assault and why survivors of coercion or subtle rape struggle to label their experience as “rape”
  • The classification of sexual violence and shifting from focusing on the victim’s response to examining the perpetrator’s intent
  • How trauma responses like fawning and hypersexuality can explain why survivors continue contact with perpetrators and challenge misconceptions about consent
  • How can parents and adults support young people in navigating online sexual content and consent by having open, shame-free conversations early, rather than relying on abstinence messages
  • Raising boys’ empathy to match girls’ and reduce entitlement, creating a culture where consent and respect are normalized


Resources: 


About Chanel Contos

Chanel Contos is an international award-winning activist and the founder of Teach Us Consent, a campaign that successfully mandated consent education across Australia and led to the criminalisation of stealthing in multiple states. 

She holds a Master’s in Education, Gender, and International Development from University College London and is currently completing a Master of Public Policy at the University of Oxford.

In 2022, Chanel was named by the BBC as one of the 100 most inspiring and influential women worldwide. Her work has received global attention, with coverage from the BBC, The New York Times, France24, and numerous other international outlets.


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436. How to Winter with Kari Leibowitz26 nov. 202500:59:32

If you shudder when Daylight Saving Time ends and the colder months settle in, or if winter leaves you feeling stuck in a funk, we’re here to present a different way to look at this stretch of the year.

In this episode, Kari Leibowitz, a health psychologist and author of 'How to Winter: Harness Your Mindset to Thrive on Cold, Dark, or Difficult Days,' joins Debbie to talk about her journey from being a self-proclaimed winter hater to a winter embracer. 

Kari shows us the impact of mindsets on our well-being, particularly during the cold, dark months, and offers practical strategies drawn from global research. You’ll also learn about the power of wintertime mindsets, adaptations for enjoying the season, and how to turn winter's perceived limitations into opportunities. 

Whether you love or loathe winter, this conversation will provide many tips to help you find joy and thrive during this often challenging season.


Listen and Learn: 

  • How Kari’s accidental deep dive into Arctic life launched her decade-long exploration into winter mindsets and human flourishing
  • How adopting a positive winter mindset can transform the season from something to endure into a source of enjoyment, opportunity, and greater well-being
  • The ways mindsets shape your attention, motivation, behavior, and well-being, and how you can thrive during winter instead of merely enduring it
  • Embracing a nuanced wintertime mindset to recognize both the challenges and pleasures of winter, stay present with your actual experiences, and develop a balanced, resilient, and practical approach to the season
  • How seasonal changes naturally affect your energy and mood, and why embracing rest and adjusting expectations in winter can be healthy
  • Evidence-based strategies to manage seasonal affective disorder that improve mood, resilience, and long-term well-being.


Resources: 


About Kari Leibowitz

Kari Leibowitz is a health psychologist, speaker, and writer, and the author of How to Winter: Harness Your Mindset to Thrive on Cold, Dark, or Difficult Days. She received her PhD in Psychology from Stanford University, served as a US-Norway Fulbright Scholar, and taught the ‘Mindsets Matter’ Stanford Continuing Studies Course. Leibowitz combines scholarly expertise with practical strategies to help people understand and harness the power of their mindsets and find joy in winter. Her writing on the power of wintertime mindset has appeared in the Atlantic, the New York Times, and the Washington Post. She has taught winter workshops to businesses, universities, non-profits, and organizations around the world. Kari lives in Amsterdam with her husband, son, and dog, where she is learning to love biking in the rain. 


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434. How Trust Works with Peter H. Kim19 nov. 202501:00:33

What do you do when your trust is broken, or when people start questioning your trustworthiness? Chances are, you’re left feeling unsure, even overwhelmed. Most of us don’t really understand how trust works, so trying to fix it can feel impossible.

In this episode, Peter Kim from USC's Marshall School of Business breaks it down for us. Drawing from his book How Trust Works, he shares over twenty years of research on what makes people trustworthy, why trust gets broken, and how relationships can actually be repaired.

Join us for a conversation about the science of trust and discover what it really takes to build, break, and restore the connections that matter most.


Listen and Learn: 

  • Why trust is essential for cooperation, even though it makes us vulnerable, and how people who choose to trust ultimately function and flourish better than those who don’t
  • How trust is defined as a willingness to be vulnerable in situations involving real risk, and why acting as if you trust someone is not the same as truly trusting them
  • How trust violations fall into competence or integrity, and how we weigh positive and negative information differently for each, shaping how we perceive and respond to others’ actions
  • The effectiveness of apologies depends on whether a violation is seen as a matter of competence or integrity, and how our motivation to preserve relationships influences the way we interpret and respond to wrongdoing
  • Moving beyond black-and-white judgments of right and wrong to explore the gray areas in human behavior and foster a more nuanced understanding and dialogue
  • How to begin rebuilding trust by acknowledging the other person’s concerns, assuming shared core values, and creating a safe space for honest, collaborative conversation, even when opinions deeply differ
  • Why apologies for integrity violations are so hard to accept, and ways to reframe actions or create narratives that allow people to recognize errors and pursue redemption


Resources: 


About Peter Kim 

Peter is a Professor at USC's Marshall School of Business, where he teaches some of the most popular MBA courses around—probably because everyone wants to know why their apologies keep backfiring. His research on trust violation and repair has ten national and international awards, been featured everywhere from the New York Times to NPR, and culminated in his 2023 book How Trust Works: The Science of How Relationships Are Built, Broken, and Repaired, which won the Academy of Management's 'Distinguished Winner' award for making significant contributions to both science and practice.


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433. Rethinking Screens and Video Games with Ash Brandin11 nov. 202500:58:25

Parenting in the digital age can feel overwhelming, but it doesn’t have to be. For this episode, Emily brings in the insight of Ash Brandin for a thoughtful conversation about her book, Power On, and what healthy screen use can actually look like for families. 

With over 15 years of hands-on experience teaching in the classroom, Ash shares a perspective that moves away from fear and guilt, encouraging parents to think about screens with the same balance and neutrality we often bring to food or other everyday choices.

By the end, you’ll hopefully have a more compassionate lens for thinking about tech and some practical, flexible ideas for creating a calm, balanced approach to screen time that truly fits with your own family’s life.


Listen and Learn: 

  • How viewing kids’ screen time with moral neutrality can help parents move past guilt and fear to understand the real purposes screens serve and the deeper systemic issues driving our reliance on them
  • Why the old “two-hour screen limit” is outdated and oversimplified, and how a personalized family media plan can lead to healthier, more sustainable screen use
  • Reframing of screen time and how systemic factors make it unfair to place all the blame or responsibility on individual parents, and why true change requires collective, not individual, solutions
  • How self-determination theory explains kids’ relationships with screens, not as addiction but as a way to meet core needs for autonomy, competence, and connection, and how parents can stay neutral, understand what needs are being met, and help kids find healthy, varied ways to fulfill them
  • Why not everything that releases dopamine is addictive, how our relationship to an activity matters more than the activity itself, and why screens aren’t “evil dopamine machines”


Resources: 


About Ash Brandin

Ash Brandin, EdS, known online as TheGamerEducator, empowers families to make screen time sustainable, manageable, and beneficial for the whole family. Now in their 15th year of teaching middle school, they help caregivers navigate the world of tech with consistent, loving boundaries, founded on respect for children, appreciation of video games and tech, and knowledge of pedagogical techniques. Ash has appeared on podcasts including Re:Thinking with Adam Grant, Good Inside with Dr. Becky, Care and Feeding from Slate, Brave Writer Podcast with Julie Bogart, Learning Curve with Mr. Chazz, Burnt Toast with Virginia Sole-Smith, Your Parenting Mojo with Jen Lumanlan, and Kid Talk with Katie Plunkett, and has contributed to articles featured on Romper, Scary Mommy, Lifehacker, The Daily Beast, USA Today, and NPR. Their bestselling book, "Power On: Managing Screen Time to Benefit the Whole Family" debuted in August, 2025. In their free time, Ash loves to hike, bake, play video games, and spend time with their family. 


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432. Personal Branding for Introverts with Goldie Chan04 nov. 202500:53:12

How do you show up in the world, whether it’s online, at work, or in your community? Whether you’ve thought about it or not, that’s all part of your personal brand. 

In this episode of Psychologists Off The Clock, Michael is joined by Goldie Chan, a personal branding expert, to unpack her book, Personal Branding for Introverts, and what personal branding really is and how it’s different from just having a reputation. They talk about how to choose the right platforms, why consistency matters when you’re sharing content, and how to stay authentic while still protecting your privacy. 

Goldie also shares smart, down-to-earth advice on setting boundaries, creating meaningful content, and building genuine connections, especially for introverts and small business owners. 

If you’ve ever wondered how to shape your public persona without feeling fake or overwhelmed, this episode is full of practical, encouraging insights.


Listen and Learn: 

  • What a personal brand is and how it reflects how people outside your inner circle perceive you
  • The key difference between reputation (what others say about you) and personal branding (what you intentionally communicate about yourself)
  • The many components that make up a personal brand, both online and offline
  • The key differences between “rented” and “owned” online spaces, including their pros, cons, and how the balance between them has evolved in today’s digital landscape
  • Practical, ethical, and authentic strategies for creating and posting social media content, including how to choose the right platform, define their audience, and maintain a sustainable posting cadence
  • Testing and adapting to new platforms, understanding where their target community actually is, and aligning their content style with both personal preference and audience expectations
  • Why going viral doesn’t necessarily build a lasting or engaged community, and why focusing on meaningful conversations and evergreen content is more valuable than chasing virality
  • How to balance authenticity and privacy when building a personal brand
  • Expressing genuine personality and emotion online in a sustainable way that maintains connection without compromising personal well-being or energy


Resources: 


About Goldie Chan

Goldie Chan is a creative, keynote speaker, author and cancer survivor. She was named the "Oprah of LinkedIn" by Huffington Post and her creative video channel won LinkedIn Top Voice for Social Media. Goldie founded Warm Robots in 2018, an award-winning social media strategy and creative agency based in Los Angeles with global clients. Previously, she wrote an internationally-recognized column for Forbes, which received nearly 10M views, and was named Journalist Of the Year in 2024. Goldie writes for Archie Comics and has been featured as a fresh voice in The New York Times, CNN, Fast Company, and many other outlets. Her first book, Personal Branding for Introverts, published with Basic Ventures in 2025. Goldie is based in sunny Los Angeles.


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