In this episode, we dive deep into the concept of free will and explore how understanding it can significantly enhance our ability to empathize with ourselves and those around us. Join us as we unravel the complexities of free will, its impact on human behavior, and how this knowledge can transform our interactions and self-perception.

Key Topics Covered:

1. Defining Free Will:

- What is free will, and why is it such a crucial concept to understand?

- How much control do we really have over our actions?

3. Empathy and Free Will:

- How understanding free will can lead to greater self-compassion.

- The role of free will in understanding others’ actions and intentions.

5. Common Misconceptions:

- Debunking myths about free will and responsibility.

- Real-life examples and case studies illustrating the impact of understanding free will on empathy.

- Send us your thoughts and questions at gilaross@gmail.com

- Don’t forget to subscribe to our podcast and leave a review if you enjoyed this episode!

- Check out my book, Living Beautifully for more insights to bring joy, meaning and love into your life based on the timeless wisdom of Pirkei Avot - gilaross.com/book

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Thank you for tuning in! We hope this episode helps you navigate the fascinating interplay between free will and empathy, enriching your interactions and self-understanding.

Does it matter what you think of other people? Who cares what's going on in your head? In this episode we look at 3 important reasons why it makes a huge difference what we think about other people.

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For more insights on how to bring meaning, joy and love into your life based on the timeless wisdom of Pirkei Avot, check out my book Living Beautifully - gilaross.com/book

I was talking to a friend the other day about when life just feels hard and progress is slow, minimal or seemingly non-existent... interestingly enough there are deep roots for why it has to be this way -- and rhe first time we see this is in the strange way the pesach story happened. Listen for this important idea that has the potential to change how you view life's ups and downs. -- For more insights into how to bring meaning, joy and love into your life based on the timeless wisdom of Pirkei Avot - check out my new book, Living Beautifully - https://amzn.to/4aCoYgq

Jordana Bachurov from drinkitin launches the clean speech challenge with an inspiring story of snakes, car seats and challenges us to upgrade our morning cup of coffee/tea/water with deciding who you will say something positive to. Join the challenge for a chance to win one of 3 prizes! Email gilaross@gmail.com for details!

Question 1) Putting spices into a pot that's on the flame? Ok? Question 2) Putting milk and sugar into a hot coffee? Ok? Question 3) Making a cup of tea on shabbos how to do? There are a number of different categories of how heat can be used to heat uncooked liquids and foods. 1) 1st vessel 2) 2nd vessel  3) 3rd vessel For our purposes please note that we are going to use halachik rather than scientific principles. Ultimately we are saying that the first vessel can cause cooking when its really hot, whereas the second vessel can't, even when it's hotter.. So, it must be dependent on more than simply how hot a vessel is but other factors too, including how the "walls" of the vessels are regarded in terms of "cooling" things off. 1) First vessel - the container into which a food or liquid was cooked or heated. This can be on the flame itself, eg a pot of soup boiling on the fire where its absolutely forbidden to put any uncooked food or liquids into it, eg one can't put salt into a pot that's on the flame on shabbos. Or it could even be a hot pot that's been removed from the flame. You also can't put a baked item into a first vessel, eg croutons into a hot pot of soup.  So, what can be put into a first vessel? Any solid food that is completely cooked may be placed into it once its been removed from the fire, eg a piece of cold cooked chicken could be put into a pot of hot soup. 2) second vessel - it has a lower heat than a first vessel. Its any container into which hot food or liquid from a first vessel is directly poured, eg a cup of hot water filled directly from the hot water urn. The rule is, anything that's deemed "sensitive" to heat can cook even in a second vessel.  As its uncertain exactly what this includes the only items to put into a second vessel are things already cooked like warming a bottle of milk as the milk is pasteurised or to add cold milk or sugar to a coffee. Additionally water, oil, ginger, cinnamon, salt, pepper. 3) Third vessel - it's a different level of heat than a second vessel. We can rely on saying that a third vessel does not cause any cooking, no matter how hot it is. So, use a 3rd vessel anytime you prepare hot drinks or food. So, make your tea or coffee this way.

What kind of person do you have to be to Pray? Why would you pray anyway and what is acceptable to Pray for?

Question 1) What are the concerns of driving on Shabbos? Question 2) What about pouring hot water from a kettle on a kiddush cup to melt away droplets of wax? Question 3) Any difference between cooking a liquid and a solid? Like drops of water vs piece of chicken. Question 4) What can be re warmed on shabbos? Cooking is the causing of a change in the properties of a food or substance by use of heat. This not only includes a raw food until it becomes edible, through cooking, baking, frying or roasting, but also in non foods too like heating wax until it melts or causing metal to become red hot. In terms of a car there are a number of reasons it's an issue: 1) Melacha of "mavier" which we will do in a later session. Combustion is the issue here. Crazily this melacha occurs thousands of times per minute 🙈. Nothing else like this. 2) This melacha of cooking, due to engine lubricants such as engine oil which are cooked halachically. Similarly the cooling system causes the engine coolant such as the anti freeze to become very hot. Liquids are more strict than solids in a regard. With solids it is considered cooked once there is a significant physical charge.  By liquids they don't need any significant change but rather it's the state of warmth itself which is the point at which cooking has taken place. There is a similarity between liquids and solids in that it's only an issue once a substantial degree of heat has effected the food, this is the point at which ones hand would draw back from touching something due to its heat. So, room temperature wouldn't make you accountable for this melacha, eg if ice cream melted (granted you would have another issue of creation). The temperature of the hand drawing back is somewhere between 40 and 71° celcius/ 104 and 160° degrees Fahrenheit. Another aspect of cooking liquids is accelerating the process. These methods include: 1) Changing the position of the pot so it's closer to the fire. 2) Reducing the volume of what's in the pot cooking, as that causes what's remaining to cook faster. 3) Stiring the food in the pot on the fire.  4) Covering a pot with a lid whilst it's on the flame. 5) Closing an oven door if the food isn't completely cooked. Reheating foods: The only way to do this is with a 1)fully cooked dry food, 2) in an indirect way such as on a hot plate, and 3) in the same way it was cooked the first time!, eg if baked can only be re warmed dry if if cooked can only be re re warmed through liquid, like putting cold noodles into a bowl of hot chicken soup.

Whats the point in counting the days of the Omer? And perhaps more importantly why do we need to know? Listen for a fascinating insight into why we lose motivation

Have you ever been bothered by something someone else has said and wondered whether it's worth having a discussion about it? An interesting insight into why it may be and how that conversation may go down. And also how we teach our kids to be powerful communicators.

Are we experiencing a renewed interest in Judaism nowadays? And if so, why would this be? And what does it mean for us in our lives?

Question 1) any issues making baby cereal on shabbos? Question 2) you forgot to make charoset on erev pesach, what to do? This melacha of kneading is the combining of small particles by means of a binding agent into a solid or even semi solid mass. Even adding or mixing liquid into a think sauce or batter is the melacha, such as mixing baby cereal with milk. To understand the kneading process there are 2 steps: 1) liquid comes into contact with the flour. 2) the 2 are mixed and blended with a kneading action. Both of these steps are forbidden. So it's forbidden to pour water into flour even without mixing and forbidden to mix water and flour even if it was already mixed. Examples would include: Mixing oil or mayonnaise into mashed avocado or juice into mashed bananas. However the melacha only applies to small bits which when combined will not be recognised individually but will be seen as 1 mass. Large chunks of food which remain clearly distinct are OK. Eg one can mix banana slices with sour cream or chunks of potatoes with mayonnaise to make potato salad as long as pieces are big enough to be clearly defined in the mixture. So, how to make your favourite egg mayonnaise on shabbos?! 1) add a lot of mayonnaise in with the purpose of producing a thin mixture. 2) reverse the order of adding the liquid, eg if usually add the egg first, now add egg first. (If no normal order add solids first.) 3) stir the mixture in an unusual manner eg crisscross. This would also be the way to make charoset on Seder night if you forgot to make it before yom tov,  ie: 1) reverse the order and add wine before the charoset  2) add a lot of wine to produce a thin charoset mixture  3) stir it slowly with either a finger or handle of a spoon. Other examples to look out for: 1) Making think oatmeal cereal, pudding or instant potatoes as these combinations produce think sticky non pourable mixtures. Not ok. 2) With baby cereal you can deal with this by preparing with a lot of liquid which will result in a batter type of mixture not a thick one. Then reverse the order of combining the ingredients and stir it in an unusual manner.

Wednesday wisdom looks at what the rush was at Passover time? Why did G-d have to take the Jews out in middle of the night? Couldn't G-d have given them a little extra time so they could have made their bread and left with ease? We discover why time was of essence and the secret to spirituality and success. To schedule a complimentary discovery call with Gila email gilaross@gmail.com where you can discover how to incorporate these insights into your life. 

Why is Pesach such a big deal? How do we change and what new concept of God did our coming out of Egypt teach us?

There's a fascinating and chilling link between the purim story and the Nuremberg trials. Together with Rabbi Ross we look at the deeper miracles of the purim story, what triggered the salvation and the chilling link to the Nuremberg trials

1) Filtering tap water? 2) Straining foods with a sieve? 3) Sifting clumps from powdered baby cereal? 4) Using a salt shaker? 5) Filtering pressed fruit juice? The melacha is the separation and removal of unwanted matter from a mixture by sifting it through a sieve or similar device, eg using a sieve to remove solidified clumps of sugar in a packet of sugar. Note, nothing wrong with using a sieve to spread thin coating of sugar on a cake as nothing is being sifted. This melacha is the act of separating or isolating from a mixture, not merely scattering or sprinkling particles. Not only is sifting included, but so is straining and filtering. So, straining sediment from wine for example is a problem. It applies to non food items too. It's irrelevant whether what you desire or don't desire is removed, either way its a problem. It's only a problem when it "significantly improves". But let's say most people would not be bothered by what's there, you can't define this as a "significant improvement ". So let's look at impurities in water. If it's so bad people wouldn't drink it under almost any circumstances then filtering would be a "significant improvement ". Other examples would include: tea containing many tea leaves, old wine with heavy sediment, fresh juice with lots or pips and peal. But even a level lower than this whereby there is a noticeable amount of impurities that most people would only drink if filtered is also a problem. So this would mean you shouldn't filter tap water that's safe but cloudy enough that most would filter it, tea containing a small number of leaves. It's only liquids containing mixtures that are drinkable to most people that are OK to filter, eg our tap water, so you can filter it on shabbos. Please note if someone is finicky you couldn't filter for them on shabbos. Question 1) Tap water ok to be filtered if in place where most people would be able to drink it without filtering. Question 2) Straining foods with a sieve not ok. Question 3) Sifting clumps from powdered baby food not ok. Question 4) Using a salt shaker is ok as it's only an issue when removing undesired particles. Would be an issue if undesirable matter was being held back in the sieve like cap. Question 5) Filtering pressed fruit juice is ok as long as it would be drinkable to most people in its untrained state. If you personally are finicky you couldn't strain it. In any event this only applies to minor things in juice like pulp and seeds that would bother people.

What distinguishes humans from animals?

In the time of the Talmud most medicines were derived from herbs, which were prepared by grinding or pulverizing. This involves the melacha of grinding, therefore any form of medication or therapy was Rabbinically forbidden to safeguard the melacha. Even exercise would be included in this as it improves one's fitness. 1) As a rule any form of progressive therapy is forbidden, so any form of corrective or health enhancing therapy is included, eg, ingesting pills, use of ointments  acupuncture etc. This is even for a healthy person, therefore medications, exercise, vitamins taken to improve one's physical constitution are out. 2) However, vitamins are OK to maintain one's health, eg to prevent a relapse. Preventative therapy is ok as long as it doesn't also strengthen or also improve him. So vitamins not ok if also to improve his general health.  3) Only minor ailments are included in this prohibition. Severe illnesess etc were never restricted by Rabbinic ordinance.  4) Also note, if it could be excused as behaviour of a regular person it's ok, eg having a hot tea to sooth a throat is ok, as is taking a walk to ease tension, as people who are fine do these things too. 5) Medications that will only be effective when taken over many days consecutively may be taken.  Antibiotics are fine to continue with as needed to complete the course. 6) For an illness such as a headache that it's bad enough to confine him to bed, he can then take medicine.  We shall now look at a number of real life examples and get a feel for how complicated this can be and why to ask a Rabbi in all cases!: 1) Removing a splinter? OK as not healing, but removal of "outside affliction". 2) Talcum powder for perspiring feet? Ok as only absorbing troublesome moisture. 3) Applying a plaster (bandaid) on shabbos? Ok (as long as no ointment on it) as it merely covers and protects the wound. 4) Drinking whisky to to calm nerves? Ok as it could be something a regular person does. 5) Taking a pill when fearful a headache could come on? Ok as preventative. 6) Sleeping pills? Ok as fatigue isn't regarded as a medical condition.  What to do if I want/ need to take medication but it doesn't appear to follow any of the lenient examples? You can always camouflage it into food eg smeer with peanut butter or crush into a dribk before shabbos, as then it doesn't have appearance of medicine.

What's the most important Jewish value to instill in ourselves and our kids?

How to make a salad on Shabbos? Or otherwise put what could possibly potentially be wrong with making a nice salad on Shabbos?

After the grain was isolated from the dirt it was ground into flour.

The melacha of grinding is breaking down and reducing a sizable entity into small parts whereby it becomes suitable for a new use.

So, crushing, chopping, pulverizing any object into small particles whether by hand or with a utensil.

Eg chopping lumber into wood chips.

By food, it's only an issue when food is reduced to small particles which makes it easier to eat. 

There are 4 exceptions to grinding under which if you have even 1 of these 4 its ok:

1) It is only an issue with  earth grown foods. So, meat, fish, cheese etc can be chopped up.

2) There is no problem  of grinding after grinding. 

So you could crush a cookie into tiny crumbs because the flour was already ground.

3) For immediate use is fine.

So even if it wasn't pre ground, and it came from the ground you can reduce the fruit or vegetable to a pulverised mass eg by chewing on a carrot.

4) When done in an abnormal way is fine, eg grinding with the handle of a knife is ok.

So, when we speak about making a salad on Shabbos, other than "borer" - sorting issues we saw such as removing bugs or taking the bad from the good, the issue to look out for is grinding related.

The way to deal with this issue is to prepare the salad immediately before consumption. The other exemptions of not growing from the ground and being chopped previously don't apply.

If it's not practical to chop the fruits or vegetables just "before" the meal you can avoid the issue by either using the back of a knife, or by cutting it into long thin slices under which the whole issue doesn't arise.

The Jews are in desperate danger and mordechai is trying to convince Esther to put her life on the line for her people. But he tells her, don't worry the Jews will be saved anyway! Why should she bother? Well learn about conflicting worldviews and why we should push ourselves in our lives.

Cynicism is a normal defense system when we experience setbacks. We can feel stuck and hopeless. Let's look at the rather surprising ending to the book of Shemot and learn the key to resilience.

Some scenarios: 1) Removing bones in chicken or fish?  Can't do unless take some of good with it or whilst eating it to pull the bones out 2) Removing skin of chicken? Ok as considered same "type". 3) Trimming fat off meat? Must trim the meat from the fat. 4) Peeling an egg? This is fine as long as by hand and just before the meal. 5) Cracking a nut? Also fine. 6) Discovered small insects on lettuce how to dispose of the insect? Can't rinse leaf as that removing the bad from the good. So, solution is to cut away and discard part of leaf together with the insect. 7) Using a slotted spoon to remove salad or chullent? This is like a strainer ao no good. Unless it's a soupy chullent or thick dressing and undesired liquid isn't intended to be drained off. If you don't want the liquid drained, it's fine anyway. 8) Using a pot lid to allow soup to pour out whilst the noodles stay inside? This is a problem unless he makes sure to leave soup with the noodles. 9) Organising pieces of a game of different colours and returning to different compartments after been used? No good 10) Putting assorted books away that are left piled up? Best solution maybe to read a bit from each book before you put it away. 11) Setting the table on shabbos? Caution to do close to the meal and taking wanted cutlery from others not wanted. If it gives a nice feeling to have dining room set, this could be considered just before use even if done hours earlier.

1) Could there possibly be something wrong with removing the naturally unwanted nuts from the yum chocolate that's in a bowl? 2) What about getting those annoying bones out of my salmon? 3) What then about eating the delicious chicken off my plate whilst leaving the veg? After threshing, a mixed collection of waste matter remained there with grain kernels. They were sorted and removed by hand. So, for us it's a matter of choosing the bad from the good, eg, removing spoiled cherries from a bowel of cherries. This would be the melacha. The prohibition would also apply to things less desirable so if don't want nuts that are mixed with chocolate you couldn't remove the nuts, even if you happen to like both. Note, this melacha applies to both food and non food items, such as a mixture of cutlery. For us to have an issue of "sorting", 2 factors need to exist: 1) there must be a mixture  2) there must be 2 types in the mixture So, a bowl of cherries and blueberries has both criteria. Or a pile of mixed cutlery would too. But, if let's say clothing in a cupboard isn't mixed but hung loosely to each other, no problem. Or if it's just 1 type it's OK too, eg 2 cookies.  But, if a chocolate cake and coffee flavoured cake, that's 2 types, and therefore not ok. Other examples of things considered mixed: 1) peanuts with raisins 2) an assortment of laundry in a basket 3) assorted books stacked together  4) loose pages of books that got mixed. 5) bones in fish  6) seeds in melon 7) wrappers stuck to a candy  8) grapes attached to stems 9) cream on top of milk 10) hair in a liquid Other examples of things not considered mixed: 1) oranges and tangerines scattered on a table  2) assorted cutlery spread out on a table 3) apples in a bag 4) food on a plate  But..what if it's got the 2 criteria, ie a mixture and 2 types, is any way to get what I need out of the mixture? Eg how to eat a grape as its attached to its stem?!  When have these 3 criteria it's ok: 1) by hand as opposed to with a utensil like a fork or a sieve. You are allowed to use a utensil when its being used solely for convenience, eg cutlery so your hands stay clean. 2) the good from the bad 3) for immediate use So, to get chocolate from nuts, remove the 1 you want by hand for immediate use, it's that simple😄😉 Other ways to get what you desire from a "mixture": 1) Peeling fruits or removing wrappers 2) Cutting away some of the good with part of the bad, eg cut a little good bit of melon together with the pits 3) Scatter the mixture so it's no longer a mixture, eg scatter the washing or the cutlery and then you can take piece by piece  Lots of real life examples of this all next week..

1) Crushing snow? 2) Warming up chocolate cookies (on shabbos hot plate) where the chocolate will melt? 3) Squeezing or shampooing hair? 4) Brushing your teeth? Gemara tells us that one may not crush snow and hail on Shabbos for purpose of producing water. From this we learn it's a problem to produce liquids by breaking down solids or even semi solids. This would extend to crushing or warming ice, ice cream, butter, congealed fat or similar substances to cause to melt or dissolve. These activities resembles the process of crushing grapes for their juices. Included in this is chopping up juice concentrate so it devolves faster into water. However you can put ice cubes into a liquid to melt, or even to crush into small ice fragments to put immediately into your drink, as not trying to produce water.  That's the key, anything that is trying to break it down into a liquid is no good, so we don't stir a frozen cup of slush/slurpy. Nor can one squeeze a hand full of snow if the intention is to turn it into water. You can defrost a liquid at room temperature. It appears that using whip topping from a pressurised can could be problem as whilst in the can it's in a liquid form and once it comes out it becomes like foam. Some are lenient but interesting to see another possible application. In terms of melting margarine and the like, it's OK as long as most of  the melted liquid becomes absorbed into a solid substance. Please note there may be an issue of "cooking" when melting ice cream or chocolate on a hot piece of cake. We are discussing the present issue of changing a substance. If your hair becomes wet on shabbos you can't squeeze it to extract the water. Similarly shampooing is a similar issue.  Way to dry it is to wrap a towel around your hair to absord the wetness. You could use a dry toothbrush as long as done gently enough that it won't cause blood. A wet toothbrush is a problem as it involves pressing and squeezing the wet bristles of the toothbrush against the teeth. Toothpaste is also a separate issue.

Bonus episode: the last episode on loving G-d sparked some great questions, so here's a bonus episode. If you have any questions email Gilaross@gmail.com.

For more insights check our my new book Living Beautifully- how to bring meaning, joy and love into your life based on timeless Jewish wisdom. Www.gilaross.com/book or https://amzn.to/3wIKXUA

Hear the story of Dovi Halpern, from Hashem's Warrior, who grew up religious, moved away from it and fought to find his own place in Judaism. Hear how he was inspired by the words of King David to find hope in darkness and start a metal band to spread messages of spirituality.

1) How to clean up a spill on Shabbos? 2) Grapes vs Strawberries  3) Making a lemon tea on Shabbos? 4) Washing up on Shabbos? After the stalks of wheat were sheaved they were brought to fields and threshed, which is the removal of the grain kernels from their chaff. The basic concept of threshing is extracting fruit or vegetable from its natural inedible shell, peel or similar attachment, eg breaking apart kernels of wheat from the stems. This melacha applies to plant life and human life, eg expressing human milk or milking an animal, or crushing a honeycomb to extract honey are problems. Other examples of this melacha are: Removing peas from the pods or squeezing grapes for their juice. Squeezing is related to threshing as the juice is extracted from the solid fruit in the same way that grain is detached from husk and peas extracted from their inedible pods. There are 3 conditions under which one can extract liquids: 1) to improve food 2) squeezing liquids into solid foods 3) sucking fruits/vegetables Grapes and olives are in a stricter category and dont follow these exemptions, so you can't squeeze then onto a solid food nor can you suck out the juice. It's best to not even cut up fresh grapes or olives onto a plate as it's inevitable that juice will flow out.  Fruits commonly pressed for their juices, such as orange, lemon, apple and strawberry you can suck out the juice with your mouth, cut them on a plate, squeeze over a solid food, put them in tea, scrape it out with a spoon, or by lemon squeeze it over sugar which can then be stirred into tea, or cut a slice of lemon and place it in the tea.  But you can't press it against a glass for the juice to come out, eg lemon against a glass, nor slice the fruit over the tea. Also, squeezing a wet cloth or sponge or any wet fabric to expel absorbed liquid is the melacha, or even to press down on a soaked cloth. Best way to deal with a spill on a tablecloth is to gently use a spoon to pick up not yet observed liquid..or use a plastic table cloth😉. Other methods are to use a rag or towel, just don't wring it out. To wash dishes on shabbos, you can't use a sponge as the scrubbing exerts pressure and consequently the water will be squeezed out.  You can use a sponge that has a handle and to then wipe gently.  Or use a brush with stiff synthetic material or of plastic or wire mesh. Expressing milk for a baby is also an issue. A mother who needs to express milk on shabbos should use a hand pump, put liquid soap into a cup and it that way the milk will be unusable.

Can I  1) Pick up apples from the garden? 2) Rake leaves to form a compost pile? 3) Gather peanuts that have fallen in the kitchen? 4) Gather cutlery that has fallen? 5) Pick up a bunch of cotton shirts that have fallen? After reaping the cut stalks of produce were gathered and sheaved to be brought later to the threshing floor. Called the melacha of gathering. Essentially it's the collecting or combining of scattered fruits, produce or any other substance that grows from the ground, it applies to even 2 fruits even of different varieties. Additionally consolidating what has already been gathered such as compacting a mound of dates into a solid mass is also under gathering. Some examples of this melacha: 1) stringing figs 2) gathering a bucket of apples 3) raking leaves to form a compost pile You could pick up 1 fruit at a time and take into your house even though you will end up filling a container inside. Note, this is only where the fruits fell before shabbos! Otherwise are muktza under reaping (part 13). 4 exceptions to gathering: 1) the items must be earth grown, so cutlery can be gathered. 2) it must be gathered in its place of growth, so peanuts that scatter in the kitchen can be picked up. However note that if indoors is the place that it's ordinarily packed or consolidated, such as stringing figs, it's not ok indoors. 3) regathering isn't gathering, so if a basket of tomatoes tipped over in a garden you can collect them as they were already gathered once before. However if the fruits became scattered when they fell then for other reasons only do 2 or 3 at a time. 4) the objects must be in their original state, so wooden toys or cotton shirts can be gathered up even though from a material that in it's original state, gathering applies to.

Bonus episode, due to popular requests! Do Jews believe in Astrology? And if something is written in the stars, can we change our destiny?

Seems little to do with our lives!, some of questions to investigate:

1) Picking a plum

2) Walking on grass

3) Using a hammock 

4) Riding a horse

5) Smelling a fruit on a tree

Reaping is the uprooting or severing of any living plant or vegetation from its source of growth.

This can be by uprooting an entire plant or even by breaking off a leaf or a branch.

Classic examples?

Picking an apple even though the tree remains rooted to the ground. Or picking vegetables, flowers or pulling weeds from a garden.

We are not discussing merely inhibiting growth, that is ok and not included. Eg you can close a blind near a plant even though this will block sunlight.

Some examples of how this melacha applies:

1) Removing moss from damp wood, as that's its natural growing surface. 

2) Removing seeds from a jar of water where they are sprouting.

3) Lifting a potted plant from soil.

4) Removing a non muktza seed from the ground isn't a problem as long as remained there less than 2 days as the seeds not yet began to germinate.

(Note - by dropping a seed onto the earth it's a problem immediately of sowing!)

5) Walking on grass is ok even though it may uproot grass because it's not inevitable.

6) Walking on delicate plants not ok as the stems will snap under foot, likewise heavy contact sports not simple at all. Even running on long grass an issue.

7) Deliberately kicking pollen laden dandelion not ok as the pollen will become detached.

On top of this the Rabbi's restricted 4 areas that could lead to this melacha:

1) Using a Tree:

Use includes climbing a tree, leaning against one or sitting on it. The concern was breaking off a part of the tree whilst on it. Therefore trees are muktza including even to lean one's full weight on it or even to place your jacket on it.

2) Using an animal:

The Rabbi's were concerned riding an animal could lead to this melacha as one might need a stick to prod the animal and may rip it off a tree.

3) Smelling a fruit on a tree:

Lest one come to pick it off the tree

4) Fruits that fell from a tree on Shabbos:

Are muktza.

The Surprising Secret to Increasing Love in Our Relationships

Sowing is the initiation or promotion of plant growth, whether accomplished by sowing, planting, watering or any other means.

1) Placing a seed on mud?

2) Planting a seed on a well used path?

3) Throwing remains of your apple core in the garden?

4) Washing hands over grass when having a picnic?

5) So how can you take off a sukkah roof when it's water logged and will get into the grass?

6) Covering a plant with a blanket to protect it from say the sunlight or cold

7) Plants, what's there status on Shabbos?

8) Flowers, what's there status on shabbos?

1) Placing a seed in mud is a problem as growth is possible.

2) Planting a seed on a well used path isn't a problem of sowing as the constant trampling will prevent the seeds from sprouting. Similarly fine to plant a seed in a dessert.

3) Must be careful of discarding fruits and vegetables outdoors as they could germinate in the ground.

4) Can't get water on grass as it promotes the growth. Just be careful not saying you can't drink outdoors.

5) It could be OK to take sukkah roof off even when you know the water will get onto the grass when either:

The grass is already water saturated so not adding anything.

Or if you open it over pavement even if it will then roll onto the grass.

A way out of this is to put a plastic tarp out before yom tov and that way when you lift the roof it will spill onto the tarp.

6) Can't cover a plant with a blanket as it's promoting its growth.

7) Indoor plants are looked same way as outdoor ones so we don't water indoor plants, nor do we proposely improve the light, air or temperature.

We can't put it on grass or even suspend it over grass as it as it's possible that in hakachik terms this assists in drawing extra nutrients from the soil.

8) Once a plant is detached it's no longer living so it's not muktza like a plant is. But we don't put into water if not done before shabbos.

Blimie Heller, of Unconditional Parenting, talks to us candidly about her journey to gentle parenting and shares some truths and tools to parenting gently. Can you guess the lie? 1. Initially this way of parenting is harder, but it becomes more meaningful and makes parenting more enjoyable 2. Gentle parenting is permissive 3. We don't prioritize the child's needs over the parents needs and we don't prioritize the parent's needs over the child's. Now listen and see if you were right! Any questions please reach out to Gila on Instagram @itsgilaross

Questions to look at:

1) Why would plowing be a problem?

2) What does plowing have to do with us anyway??

3) Dragging a chair on mud, is that ok?

4) Digging in a sandbox, is that ok?

5) Can I remove rocks and twigs from a lawn?

6) Can I weeding?

7) Can I fertilise soil?

8) Can I place a bean in a jar of water?

9) Can I walk on soft soil and make a foot print?

10) Can I push a baby carriage on soil?

Now we begin going through the 39 types of work they did in the mishkan, which was like the temporary temple whilst they travelled through the desert.

In the mishkan they had the miraculous "lechem hapanim", which stayed fresh for an entire week!

The 1st 11 melachas will go through the steps of producing the bread, the 1st of which is plowing.

The basic premise of plowing is the preparation of soil for the purpose of making it more suitable for seeding or planting. Plowing loosens the soil, so any activity which loosens soil is included even if planting wasn't his intention. 

So many ways we are involved in this even when we are not gardeners as we shall see.

Remember the tiniest hole is sufficient to accommodate a very small seed.

So going back to each question:

3) Not ok to drag a chair on earth as the chair legs scrape and loosen the soil whilst it's being dragged.

4) Digging in a sandbox is ok as it's too loose to form a hole. However if it was wet then could be an issue. (Reason sandbox not muktza is its automatically set aside for play.)

5) Removing rocks and the like not ok as it's making the land surface more cultivable.

6) Weeding not ok as it improves the soil potential.

7) Fertilising soil not ok as it enriches the soil so improving it for seeding or planting.

8) Placing a bean in a jar of water to sprout not ok.

9) Walking on soft soil is ok even if will cause a footprint because the walking only compresses the soil beneath the foot.

Loosening the soil is the problem, not compressing it. Compacting soil doesn't improve it for planting.

10) Pushing baby carriage on soil is also ok even if get a wheel mark as again it merely compresses it.

Can you guess which one is the lie?

- You deserve beautiful things!

- Your words create your reality!

- You're either confident or not!

We chat with Rivky Itzkowitz from Impact Fashion about body confidence for our kids... and  ourselves!

If you were going to fix the new year for trees, which time of the year would you choose? Spring? When the fruits are growing? Why is Tu B'shvat - the new year for trees celebrated in the dead of winter? It's not a mistake - but it teaches us the secret to success and achieving our goals. Lots more insights in my new book, Living Beautifully - how to bring meaning, joy and love into your life based on the timeless wisdom of Pirkei Avot. https://amzn.to/47HsRyN

What's the secret ingredient that keeps us going? The Gemara tells of the evil government that stopped us bringing wood to the temple in order that sacrifices wouldn't be able to be brought. And they stopped us bringing the first fruits to Jerusalem, which was part of a beautiful ceremony. Why did they stop these 2? Why not outlaw shabbos, mikva or circumcision? These 2 mitzvot had great celebrations associated with them. There were parades and more! *They knew what kept us going even at "tough" times was simcha - joy.* When I say tough it could be "tough" as our religion was persecuted or "tough " as maybe it's not cool to practice anymore. What we learn is joy in our mitzvah observance is the secret ingredient!! There are 2 different elements of Shabbos, the positive mitzvot we do like enjoying, making it special etc and the prohibitions like not doing work. *Our work is to not just focus on getting the laws of Shabbos right but to add to the great joy and associate with Shabbos. All blessings of the week come from Shabbos.* *Kiddush will be associated with this aspect.* Kiddush: *In the Ten Commandments we are commanded to “Remember the Shabbos day to sanctify it.”* One fulfills this Torah obligation by saying Kiddush on Shabbos. The Rabbis instituted the recitation of Kiddush over a cup of wine. Both *men and women* are equally obligated in this mitzvah. The cup must hold at least a 3.8 fl. oz.; 112 ml.  It is best to recite Kiddush using a silver kiddush cup. One may also use a glass or any other non-disposable cup. It is best to fill the cup to the top.  However, if one does not have enough wine to fill the cup he need not fill it, provided that the cup contains the measurement above of wine. Upon completing Kiddush, the one who recites it should drink a “m’lo lugmav,” the *amount of wine that fills one of his cheeks.*  For an average adult male, this is between 1.5 and 2 fl. oz. (44-59 ml).  This amount should be drunk within a 30 second time span If it is too difficult for the one who says Kiddush to drink a m’lo lugmav, *someone else may drink the cheek full.* Having cups of wine/grape juice prepared ahead of time so after you make kiddush you can share a bit from the cup of blessing into each of these so they can be passed around and each person can put a bit in their own cup. *One fulfils Kiddush only if a meal is eaten immediately after Kiddush in the same location.* If one does not eat bread, such as at a kiddush after shul one may eat a food containing the five grains. upon which the brocha of Mezonos is said. Arguments to stand/sit: a.     Standing – “Vayechulu” is testimony that Hashem created the world and rested on Shabbos.  Just as witnesses stand before Bais Din when testifying, similarly some stand for this testimony and remain standing while reciting the entire Kiddush. b.     Sitting – When helping others fulfil their obligation, everyone is joined together for that moment, this is done through sitting. Follow ones custom if you have one, or sit at least for the blessing. For both kiddush and havdalah important to listen to words as someone is saying it on our behalf. Challas should be covered during kiddush. Havdalla: *Just as it is a mitzvah to sanctify Shabbos on a cup of wine as it enters, it is a mitzvah to sanctify it on a cup of wine as it departs. This is done by reciting havdalah. We also recite blessings over spices and on a candle.* Women are also obligated to hear havdalah so they should listen to it carefully. In a place where wine is not available, one may make havdalah on beer or any other beverage that is considered a local drink like coffee or tea. Once night falls on Saturday, one may not eat or drink anything other than water before havdalah. *Work may not be done before havdalah. Therefore, if you need to turn on lights or perform

Accepted custom is the woman accepts shabbos at the time of lighting - when she says the bracha. Others may continue to do work until just before sundown. 

When a man lights, his Shabbos has not yet commenced, it's either a few mins before sunset or when shul he's in does last part of lecha dodi.

3 reasons for candle lighting:

honor, enjoyment, peace in the home.

How?

Usually one makes a blessing prior to doing the mitzvah. When a female lights Shabbos candles she can't make the blessing first, as then Shabbos would begin before she could light the candles! So, she first lights them and then makes the blessing.

If a man is lighting he first makes the blessing as for a man Shabbos doesn't come in with candle lighting but with sunset/last bit of lecha dodi.

What?

Candles or olive oil. Olive oil is preferable.

Electric lights - are acceptable when no other alternative but shouldn't make a blessing on them. e.g. hospital.

When? 

Custom - 18-20 minutes before sundown. No later than 2 minutes b4 sunset. As early as "plag hamincha" which is 1 and quarter halachik hours before sunset.

How many?

Shamor and Zachor - the 2 aspects of Shabbat. 

Basic requirement - 1 candle. Some have custom of adding on for each child.

If didn't light:

If negligent, doesn't apply to emergencies, has to light an extra candle forever!

What if I'm running late? the mitzvah is not to light.

When does "early shabbos" begin? 

If 1 shul in town then it is binding on the whole community but if more than one shul it does not apply. When it is for convenience it is independent for each member of the household, i.e. if the husband accepts it early it doesn't impose on the wife.

Please see the beautiful blessing one can say at candle lighting time.

Also not myzmanim.org has an app that you can see any Friday the earliest time for lighting called plag hamincha and the latest, which is just before sundown.

The Wednesday night crew take a look at what impact our actions have, fear of G-d-- what is that anyway!?! And how all this contributes to living with Intention. Send feedback to gilaross@gmail.com or find me on Instagram @itsgilaross

I chat with Sari Kopitnikoff of That Jewish Moment about Prayer! Can you guess the lie? 

⭐️ There’s room for creativity and imagination within formal prayer 

⭐️ Knowing yourself can help you know God 

⭐️ Change what you pray every day to keep it fresh

Usually it's OK to start a melacha - a forbiden work before Shabbos even if the process will be activated during Shabbos, e.g. lighting a candle before Shabbos even though it will burn on Shabbos or setting a trap before Shabbos that will catch an animal on Shabbos.

The exception to this is where the work is noisy, eg leaving on a clothes dryer, TV etc.

One also has to be mindful of benefiting from a fellow Jew's work even when it's not Shabbos for you, eg one shouldn't listen to a radio show from Israel when they are into Shabbos even though you are still some time until Shabbos.

* Timers are OK, e.g. for lights, for a hot plate to go on on Shabbos morning etc.

* It is fine to mail a letter first class on Friday even though you knew it will be delivered on Shabbos day. There are a number of reasons for this, one being that at best you are asking someone who is asking someone else, rather than a direct request to a gentile to do work for you.

* One other exception is leaving on a pot of cholent before shabbos. It's fine to do this, but due to concerns of adjusting a flame we are supposed to cover the flame.

We bring in Shabbos before sunset on Friday. There is a custom to bring it in 18 mins before sunset if possible.

The earliest time one can bring in Shabbos is an hour and a quarter of halachic hours before sunset. If one lit candles before this one would need to light again, beware in summer months when this can be late. For timings of times where you live, check myzmanim.org

 Avoiding Distress, "Weekday Activities" and "Creative Changes"

Not allowed to cause anyone anguish or emotional distress on Shabbos, e.g. can't share bad news. We don't comfort mourners under most circumstances. We don't fast on Shabbos. Don't even say tehillim for someone unless person is dangerously ill.

Shouldn't play chess with someone if person will become depressed if he loses.

In order to distinguish shabbos from other days,   we are to avoid "weekday activities" - "uvdin dechol".

These are activities that closely resemble the type of thing we would do on a weekday, these activities are ones that would involve a "melacha" - 1 of forbidden types of work.

Some examples:

1) Using a grater. Food can be chopped on shabbos but we shouldn't use a grater as it's an item which is usually associated with a melacha.

2) Hair brush. You can use a brush that you know won't pull out hairs but should designate a special shabbos brush even if your weekday one doesn't pull out hairs.

3) Using a computer example for zoom that's already switched on and you won't switch off after. Note a computer and zoom has other issues involved even when not being touched but would also full under this banner.

**

On Shabbos we make the point of ceasing from creative acts. The Rabbis also added certain creative acts themselves.

We can't create a new entity or bring about a dramatic creative change in a substance.

Examples:

1) Crushing ice to water, as that change in substance is similar to a new entity.

2) Can't melt congealed fats to transform into a liquid.

3) Can't infuse a scent into a garment.

4) Not to strike a match on yom tov when it's permissable to make a fire.

Shabbos Treasures Week 6 - Preparing for after Shabbos needs.

Q) Pesach falls on a Saturday night, is it OK to have the kids sleep Shabbos afternoon so they will be up fresh and bright for Seder?

Our Sages forbade any type of effort or preparation during shabbos or yom tov for after in order to preserve the restful character.

Just like we shouldn't move many heavy tables and chairs unless for a mitzvah like shabbos meal so too here.

It is not a problem to prepare when:

1)  it's not self evident why you are doing this. 

2) it's done routinely, aka out of habit and it's a small deal to do this, as it's not "strenuous".

We were asked what's the cut off on this?

I think the answer is when it's done routinely and effortlessly by people our of habit and when we don't even have a conscious thought about it and it's simple i.e. it's not strenuous work, it's not deemed preparation.

3) a significant loss when involving a "minor" labor activity.

4) if useful to Shabbos e.g. it may give you pleasure now if its clean etc.

Let's now look at a number of examples:

1) Washing dishes - not ok.

So how to deal with on shabbos? You could leave in sink and as people wash their hands naturally over the day they get rinsed.

2) Wiping a table top clean: not ok, unless you will enjoy the clean table now.

3) Arranging dirty dishes in dishwasher; not ok, but if mess of dirty plates bothers you, you could put it in. 

4) Making beds; not ok, unless them being messy bothers you. 

5) Arranging dozens of books in shul; not ok.

6) Bringing wine for Havdalla from fridge before shabbos is out, not ok.

7) Returning a book to bookshelf; fine as out of habit not preparation.

8) Taking a coat for a walk on shabbos when not raining right now; ok as it's "common place" activity.

9) Taking out a key in a city with eruv; ok, same as 8.

10) Putting leftover challah in freezer; ok as preventing a loss.

11) Tidying up a room; ok if mess bothers you.

12) Leftovers in fridge; ok but don't say your doing it for tomorrow.

Sleeping on Shabbat afternoon to be fresh after Shabbat, ok as long as don't express why your sleeping. 

Any questions, email gilaross@gmail.com

Is there a time and place for making a judgement call about others? The Wednesday night group looks at Sarah and Hagar and their approach to judging others and the insights it can give us into how and when we use our judgement.

The question we are looking at in this episode is: There is a sale I want to go to right after shabbat? Can I walk there on Shabbat so I can be there right as Shabbat ends?

The prophet's words are a form of "rest" to protect spirit of Shabbos.

As its the prophet's speaking it carries weight.

In Yeshaya it says "you shall honour the Shabbos in your goings by refraining from pursuing your weekday occupations and from speaking of them".

Basically referring to 3 elements:

1) Walking

2) Weekday occupations

3) Speech  

We talk with Daniel Agalar, founder of Stories to Inspire about all things inspiration: where he finds inspiration, what to do when we are inspired and what to do when we aren't inspired and some myths around inspiration. This is one episode you don't want to miss!

When things are hard, like really hard what does God want us to do? Does God want us to argue with Him or just accept? Is it OK to argue and is there any value to arguing. In this valuable episode we break it all down. Listen now! You can purchase Living Beautifully at https://amzn.to/47HsRyN

Is it OK to:

1) ask a Jew who isn't particular about Shabbos to turn off a light?

2) ask a non-Jew to turn your light on?

3) ask a non-Jew to turn your annoying alarm off?

4) ask your non-Jewish cleaner to clean up from Shabbos?

5) ask your non-Jewish cleaner to set up for Saturday night event? 

6) plug in your freezer which is full of meat when the plug got knocked out?

7) ask a non-Jew to bring you Challah from your neighbor when there is no eruv when you realise on Shabbos that you have run out of Challah?

We will look at these scenarios and see whether it's muktza and your stuck or if there is a way to move?:

1) play in sandpit

2) phone left on a bed

3) crack open a nut with a hammer

4) throw out dirty nappy

5) move fallen sukkah decorations that have fallen in sukkah

6) fresh egg your chicken lays

7) use shabbos table for shabbos day once candlesticks were on it Friday night

What would shabbos look like without rabbinic laws?