Play Therapy Parenting Podcast – Details, episodes & analysis

In this episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast, I answer a question from Amy, a mom of two from Florida, who is navigating the challenge of implementing child-centered play therapy principles with her 12 and 9-year-olds. Amy is concerned about whether it’s too late to start using these techniques with older children and asks about handling mean words, backtalk, and yelling in her home. I discuss how these strategies can be applied effectively at any age, and I offer practical advice on setting limits, staying calm during heated moments, and using child-centered techniques even when the dynamics in the family begin to shift.

I also explore the importance of setting expectations at neutral times and providing clear, concrete limits to guide children’s behavior. Amy’s question is a great reminder that it’s never too late to start implementing these principles, and every step you take to improve your parenting skills will positively impact your children for the rest of their lives.

Ask Me Questions:  Call ‪(813) 812-5525‬, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com
Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
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Common References:
Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge.
Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.

In this episode, I address a question from Nell in Ireland about using encouragement and esteem-building techniques with a sensitive child who doesn't respond well in challenging moments. I discuss the importance of ensuring our tone of voice and facial expressions are congruent with the child's emotional state, especially when they're frustrated or struggling.
I emphasize the value of reflecting feelings before offering encouragement. This approach validates the child's emotions and creates a connection, making them more receptive to encouragement. I also touch on the necessity of setting limits when a child reacts inappropriately, such as pushing or hitting.
Finally, I explain why we should persist with encouragement and esteem-building, even when children initially resist. These techniques communicate our belief in their capabilities, contribute to a positive self-fulfilling prophecy, and help shape their self-concept through the "looking glass self" principle. I reassure parents that as a child's self-esteem increases, so will their frustration tolerance, making them more receptive to encouragement over time.

Ask Me Questions:  Call ‪(813) 812-5525‬, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com
Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/
My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/

Common References:
Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge.
Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.

In this episode, I talk about how the relationship with your child is the most important thing, even more important than the specific parenting skills and techniques we've been discussing. While learning and applying skills like reflecting feelings, setting limits, giving choices, and using encouragement are certainly valuable, we can't lose sight of why we use those approaches in the first place. 

It all comes back to preserving and strengthening our relationship with our kids. Every time a child is struggling or misbehaving, there is almost always a fracture or damage to the relationship that has occurred. By focusing on the child and the relationship rather than just on the frustrating behavior, we keep that relationship at the center. The beauty of parenting is we have a built-in relationship with our child from the very beginning. Our job is to maintain and nurture that precious bond, and child-centered parenting principles give us effective tools to do just that.

The goal is not to robotically check skills off a list, but to deeply, intentionally and thoughtfully engage with our children in ways that communicate "I'm here, I hear you, I understand, I care, and I delight in you." This is what it means to take a kind approach to parenting. I hope this discussion encourages you and keeps you grounded in what matters most - your relationship with your kids.

Ask Me Questions:  Call ‪(813) 812-5525‬, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com
Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/
My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/

References:
Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge.
Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.

In today's episode, I discuss the importance of encouragement and how it differs from praise when it comes to parenting. Encouragement is all about focusing on your child's efforts and contributions, rather than giving value-laden words that have opposites, like "good" or "awesome." When you encourage your child by starting with "you" and acknowledging their perseverance, problem-solving skills, or willingness to take on challenges, you help them develop a healthy self-concept and sense of identity. This empowers them and reduces power struggles, as they feel a measure of control over their circumstances. I encourage you to challenge yourself this week to use encouragement every time your child does something, as they will provide you with plenty of opportunities to do so throughout the day.

Ask Me Questions:  Call ‪(813) 812-5525‬, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com
Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/
My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/

References:
Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge.
Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.

In this episode, I address a listener's question about gentle parenting and whether it has gone too far. I discuss the principles of gentle parenting and contrast them with the child-centered approach, highlighting the importance of setting appropriate limits and boundaries while maintaining a kind, respectful, and relational dynamic with your child.

I explain that while gentle parenting aims to build a healthy bond and meet a child's needs, it often lacks a comprehensive framework for effective discipline. The child-centered approach, on the other hand, is highlighted by a well-researched framework of interacting with children, and empowers them to make choices within clearly defined limits, fostering self-control and responsibility.

I emphasize that the child-centered method is indeed gentle, as it prioritizes preserving the parent-child relationship through understanding, kindness, and respect. By using the four pillars of play therapy, parents can remain in control of their emotions, honor their child's uniqueness, and respond appropriately to their child's emotional state, all while establishing boundaries and expectations.

Ultimately, I encourage parents to embrace the child-centered approach as a more effective and complete system for achieving the desired outcomes of gentle parenting.

Ask Me Questions:  Call ‪(813) 812-5525‬, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com
Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/
My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/

References:
Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge.
Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.

In today's episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast, we're diving into the practical application of the "limit setting" pillar in daily parenting. Now that we’ve covered the four foundational pillars, it’s time to see how we can apply these skills in everyday interactions with our kids. Limit setting is unique in that it combines the other pillars—reflecting feelings and giving choices—making it a nuanced yet powerful tool for effective discipline.

I explore how limit setting can be used proactively to address daily struggles, such as managing snack times, bedtime routines, or sibling conflicts. It's about offering healthy alternatives to empower our children while setting boundaries that maintain their well-being.

Finally, I emphasize the importance of consistent follow-through with limits. Children learn to take responsibility for their actions when we clearly communicate choices and their consequences. It's about empowering our kids to make their own decisions and take ownership of their behavior.

I'd love to hear your thoughts or any questions you might have. Feel free to email me at brenna@thekidcounselor.com or leave a message at (813) 812-5525. Also, don't forget to visit playtherapyparenting.com to sign up for my newsletter and receive a free workshop. I'm grateful for your commitment to your kids, and I'm here to help you along the journey. Let's keep practicing limit setting together!

Ask Me Questions:  Call ‪(813) 812-5525‬, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com
Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/
My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/

References:
Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley. 
VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press. 
Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge.
Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.
Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.

In this episode, I discuss how to practically apply the "choice-giving" pillar from the child-centered play therapy parenting framework. I cover two types of choices to give your kids:

Empowerment Choices

• Give your kids choices just for the sake of letting them feel empowered and in control
• Examples: Let them choose how to get to the car (hold your hand or push the cart), what to eat/drink, what to wear, where to sit in the car, what music to listen to, etc.
• This gives your kids a measure of control within your set boundaries

Enforcement Choices

• Give choices tied to reinforcing a limit you've set
• Map the choices to your child's original desire/want
• Example: If they want to play before dinner, the choices could be to play with friends after dinner or watch TV after dinner

I emphasize using the word "choose" multiple times when offering choices to make it clear the child has the power to decide. Giving choices reduces power struggles, builds self-confidence, and helps kids practice decision-making skills.

Ask Me Questions:  Call ‪(813) 812-5525‬, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com
Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/
My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/

References:
Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley. 
VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press. 
Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge.
Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.
Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.

In this episode, we explore the practical aspects of Reflecting Feelings, focusing on how this essential skill can be effectively used in daily interactions with children. Our goal is to demystify the process and encourage more confident and consistent application in your parenting.

Key Points Covered:

Understanding Reflecting Feelings: An overview of why this skill is fundamental yet challenging, emphasizing its importance in validating children’s emotions.

Practical Application: Step-by-step guidance on how to reflect feelings accurately, from recognizing nonverbal cues to matching your verbal responses with your child's emotional states.

Real-Life Scenarios: Examples of how to apply the Reflecting Feelings skill throughout the day, from positive expressions like joy and pride to handling negative emotions like disappointment and frustration.

We delve into how consistent practice of this skill helps build a stronger, more empathetic connection with your child, enabling them to feel heard and understood. This connection is crucial for their emotional development and can significantly enhance your effectiveness as a parent.

Call to Action:

This week, I challenge you to consciously practice reflecting feelings with your children. Notice the multitude of opportunities you have to engage this skill, and observe the positive impact it has on your interactions.

For more insights and to continue this conversation, don’t hesitate to reach out via email at brenna@thekidcounselor.com or leave a message at (813) 812-5525. Your feedback and questions are invaluable, and they help us shape future content that meets your needs.

Remember, the journey to calm, confident, and in-control parenting continues with each skill we master. Let's keep learning and growing together. Thank you for joining me today, and I look forward to our next session!

Ask Me Questions:  Call ‪(813) 812-5525‬, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com
Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/
My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/
My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/

References:
Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley. 
VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press. 
Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge.
Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.
Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.

In this episode, I address a question submitted by a therapist on behalf of a concerned parent. The parent has a 6-year-old girl who is grappling with body image issues. As this little girl expresses concerns about her tummy being "fat" and worries that other kids are judging her, her mother fears she may be using food to soothe her big emotions.   These behaviors are merely cues, signaling deeper underlying issues that need to be addressed. More often than not, a child's fixation on food, sleep, or obedience stems from a profound need for control or a manifestation of high anxiety levels.   Through the lens of child-centered play therapy, we can unravel the root causes and provide lasting solutions. By reflecting her feelings, giving her choices, and fostering her self-esteem through encouragement, we empower this young girl to develop an emotional vocabulary, self-regulation, and a healthy sense of self-worth – the very tools she needs to overcome her body image struggles.   Remember, the behavior itself is not the problem; it's a window into her internal world. As we guide her through this journey, she'll naturally internalize self-acceptance, regardless of her physical appearance. The path to healing lies in addressing the core emotional needs, not just the surface symptoms. With patience, empathy, and a child-centered approach, she can develop resilience and confidence.   Ask Me Questions:  Call ‪(813) 812-5525‬, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/   References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley. VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press. Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group. Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.

I can't emphasize enough the profound impact of encouragement on a child's self-esteem, self-worth, and overall development. Unlike the other pillars we've discussed, encouragement stands alone as a powerful tool that shapes a child's understanding of their identity, capabilities, and innate value.   In this episode, we delve deep into the crucial distinction between praise and encouragement. Praise, although well-intentioned, often includes value judgments that inadvertently make children dependent on external validation. On the other hand, encouragement focuses solely on the child's efforts and contributions, fostering an internal locus of control – a sense of motivation that comes from within.   I challenge you to become more aware of when you slip into praising your child and consciously pivot to encouragement instead. Start your sentences with "you" – "You worked really hard on that!" or "You used so many colors in your painting!" This simple shift empowers your child to celebrate their efforts, embrace challenges, and find fulfillment in their own accomplishments, regardless of the outcome.   Remember, self-esteem is the foundation for almost all positive change in a child. When we encourage our children, we nurture their confidence, resilience, and belief in themselves. This, in turn, transforms their interactions, relationships, and overall behavior in self-enhancing ways.   Ask Me Questions:  Call ‪(813) 812-5525‬, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/   References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley. VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press. Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group. Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.