Explore every episode of the podcast Plant Sluts

Episode Notes

Welcome to the very first episode of Plant Sluts! Meet your hosts Jonathan and Jeannette as they dig into how a global pandemic finally cleared the community garden waitlist (silver linings, folks), why Jeannette swears a rosemary cutting got her a house (and we're not questioning it), and whether lemon balm can actually treat depression and HIV.

Plus: we spill the tea at the unexpected intersection of Grindr hookups and heirloom tomato swaps. You’ll laugh, you’ll learn, you’ll wonder why your garden’s never been this spicy.

Episode Notes

Jeannette has a vendetta against a tree. Meanwhile, Jonathan unearths a painful truth: sometimes slugs aren’t just destroying your hostas… they’re also wrecking your relationship. This week’s plant spotlight is Bloodroot - a spring beauty with a dark side, including a shady stint as a darling of the anti-vaxx crowd. Who knew this innocent woodland bloom had so much baggage?

Email us with your Garden Tea at plantslutspod@gmail.com! Instagram Tiktok

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Episode Notes

Roses are red, but the history is unsurprisingly gay. Jeannette contemplates opening up her marriage (mainly to get out of doing dishes), while Jonathan reveals that not all thorns are created equal - every rose just has its prickle.

We dig up the potentially queer-coded roots of Salem’s garden history, including Elizabeth Lord and Edith Schryver: pioneering women in landscape architecture... or just very good friends? Plus: wartime rose protection tactics, botanical sex sprays gone wrong, and the lingering haunt of rose energy in the bedroom.

Sources: 🌹 Portland Parks – International Rose Test Garden 🌿 The Lord & Schryver Conservancy

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Jeannette heads to agricultural bootcamp, Jonathan drags GMO propaganda, and a chewed-up bird sparks a hawk-related identity crisis. Meanwhile, primrose struts onto the scene kinky, poly, and radiating pure femme energy.

Note: the book on botany referred to is in fact 'A Gardeners Guide to Botany'.

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Episode Notes

We relax with lavender, and talk about the different types and tips on growing your own. A new segment debuts! Fuck, Marry, Kill: Plant Edition. Take a peek at the connections between lavender, Jonathan and Jeannette’s astro birth charts.

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Episode Notes

In this episode Jonathan talks about the origins of the mulberry nursery rhyme and Jeannette finds out if it's a bush or a tree... Jonathan's pretty beans are a hit at happy hour and we read some devastating Garden Tea.

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Episode Notes

Our latest episode kicks off Spooky season and includes an uncomfortable conversation with an arborist. Jonathan brags about his nonna's smuggled plums from the old country. We read terrifying Garden Tea sent in by a listener and pronounce all the medicinal compounds in American Skullcap perfectly on the first try ☠️

Correction: Jonathan said cinquefoil in reference to bunch berry (cornus canadensis) but he meant quatre-temp. Mes excuses les plus sincères.

Visit Astro.com for your free natal chart.

Information from this episode comes from: https://www.gaiaherbs.com/blogs/seeds-of-knowledge/american-chinese-skullcap-what-s-the-difference https://www.gaiaherbs.com/blogs/herbs/american-skullcap

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Episode Notes

Jonathan complains about tiny melons and Jeannette has to decide which plant can fulfill her needs in F-M-K Plant Edition. We explore Witch Hazel and where it got its demonic name. Jeannette reveals one of her vintage new age books and we continue to personify plants with the zodiac.

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Episode Notes

In this episode we get spooky as Jonathan plots garden revenge on his ex, we whisper to our dearly departed plants via an online Ouija Board, and divine the mysteries of the dormant season with tarot. Plus, we spotlight pumpkin-- the berry you've probably never eaten. Jeannette digs into the haunted history of the jack-o-lantern (even if carving one still kinda sucks).

Sources:

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Episode Notes

In this episode we learn about Jonathan’s secret life as an oil baron. Jeannette will leave the leaves, so everyone please just shut up about it. We find a new community garden character trope and ask big questions like: are you a Thanksgiving marshmallow family?

In our plant spotlight we talk about the original cranberry sauce and how the American colonists capitalized on indigenous knowledge and slavery to create their yummy cranberry desserts. We explain why cranberries need our vibrators and ask, “Did our favorite 90s HBO series cause the downfall of US wetlands?” Listen 'til the end for Jeannette’s famous cranberry sauce recipe!

We’ll be going dormant for the winter but keep subscribed for Winter Cuttings!

If you have any Garden Tea, send us an email to plantslutspod@gmail.com

See you in February!

Jeannette’s sources for her cranberry dissertation:

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• https://www.npr.org/2006/11/23/6529449/a-cranberry-story-from-the-home-of-the-pilgrims

• https://westernfinancialgroup.ca/Cranberries-Grown-Harvested

• The Larry Meiller Show from Wisconsin Public Radio 10/21/25

• https://www.apsnet.org/edcenter/apsnetfeatures/Pages/Cranberries.aspx

• https://blog.library.si.edu/blog/2017/11/14/native-fruit-cranberry-seasons/

• https://foodprint.org/blog/cranberries-bogged-down-in-water-and-pollution/

• https://horticulture.wisc.edu/wp-content/uploads/sites/20/2014/04/Cranberry-cold-hardiness1.pdf

• https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/foods/cranberries

• https://publications.gc.ca/collections/collection_2009/agr/A118-10-6-2008E.pdf

• https://www.ars.usda.gov/pacific-west-area/logan-ut/pollinating-insect-biology-management-systematics-research/docs/cranberries/#:~:text=To%20release%20pollen%2C%20they%20either,legs%20(e.g.%20Megachile%20and%20Osmia)

• https://plentifulearth.com/magickal-correspondences-of-cranberries/

• https://www.nytimes.com/1973/10/21/archives/the-cranberrry-ruby-of-the-barrens-new-picking-method-taken-on-a.html

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In this bonus winter cutting we talk about gardening indoors aka houseplants. We go into the origin and psychological grip they have on us. We ask, are there native houseplants and how prolific is the mall plant aesthetic? We discuss the problems you can run into when bringing the outdoors inside and why they may not be the great gift you think they are (unless you're Jonathan's mom).

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Jonathan and Jeannette make preparations for the inevitable apocalypse in this bonus winter cutting episode. They don't figure out a source for fresh water but herbal Xanax is ready to go. Jonathan reinforces his rooftop empire while Jeannette considers potentially talking to her neighbors... if it's like a *bad* apocalypse.

Plant Sluts is back February 4th so start cranking your battery powered radio now!

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Episode Notes

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Make way for tulips! In this episode, Jonathan bravely downs a comically overstuffed cup of foraged weeds and spills the tea on a secret teenage adventures through milkweed forests. Meanwhile, Jeannette attempts to separate art from plants… and immediately falls headfirst into the drama-filled rabbit hole of Semper Augustus and full-blown Tulipomania. Along the way, we assign tulips their astrological sign and see how well it lines up with Jonathan’s birth chart. Expect history, horticulture, astrology, and at least one questionable beverage choice.

Send us your embarrassing Garden Tea to plantslutspod@gmail.com or slide into our instagram DMs @plant.sluts.pod.

Sources:

• https://www.scienceabc.com/nature/what-exactly-is-a-flower-bulb-and-how-does-it-differ-from-a-flower-seed.html
• https://www.botanic.cam.ac.uk/species-tulips-whats-special-about-them-and-how-to-grow-them-in-your-own-garden/
• https://www.masshort.org/blog/tulips

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Episode Notes

We’re back with Québec ’s favorite uncut berry: haskap. This episode spirals from Jeannette's forgotten Brussels sprouts to Jonathan's most unhinged greenhouse hack yet. Jonathan also spills some political Garden Tea. Then we get into haskap: why Québec growers are obsessed with it and why it's still on the dating apps.

Got garden drama? Send your Garden Tea to plantslutspod@gmail.com

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Peanut sex gets wild in this episode! First, we try a new segment to find our sun-moon-rising Plant Placements and Jeannette tries more yard debris with Nipplewort! Will her nipples ever recover? Jonathan finds Montreal's peanut connection and Jeannette dives into the history of peanuts as a crop in the US. Jonathan also gives us the truth about these "nitrogen fixing" plants and whether we need to rotate our humble hobbyist garden beds. Absurd amount of singing in this one.

Let us know your Trail Mix Plant Placement on instagram: @plant.sluts.pod

Don't forget to follow & subscribe so you never miss an episode.https://www.instagram.com/plant.sluts.pod

• Sources:
• https://journeys.dartmouth.edu/folklorearchive/tag/peanuts/
• https://hancockpeanuts.com/what-do-peanuts-symbolize/
• https://nationalpeanutboard.org/
• https://civileats.com/2022/04/12/slaves-for-peanuts-tells-the-tragic-story-behind-americas-favorite-snack/
• https://www.ontario.ca/page/commercial-peanut-production-ontario

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The first in our Trail Mix series! It all starts and ends with seeds. We discuss which new seeds we’re trying this season and defend Jonathan’s AI garden organizing system. Jeannette tries purple dead nettle from the backyard and Jonathan talks about which seeds need to get cold, broken, and swallowed to germinate. We go into the future of seeds and the difference between seed banks, seed libraries, and seed sanctuaries. Jonathan gives us some tips for saving seeds and Jeannette shares a spell for planting on March 19th (the new moon and last frost date in Salem).

Make sure to subscribe and rate wherever you listen!

Sources:

• https://www.growforagecookferment.com/foraging-purple-dead-nettle/
• https://www.rachelpatterson.co.uk/single-post/the-magic-of-seeds
• https://llewellyn.com/spell.php?spell_id=6688&srsltid=AfmBOoq6mJO0KOcfqfnJysayA2mJm815jj092qk5X8mGVp_Wqx-u0k7V
• https://sistersofprovidence.net/
• https://thenarwhal.ca/tyendinaga-mohawk-territory-seed-sanctuary/
• Hank Green on AI water use: https://youtu.be/H_c6MWk7PQc?si=nTgS77bJYRb_8HoL&t=774

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After complaining about kids these days, Jonathan and Jeannette dive into the history of the cacao plant and how that became the chocolate we consume nonstop today. We answer questions like "How many cacao pods did it cost to hire a sex worker in the Aztec empire?" and "Is white chocolate actually chocolate?" We also discover the tiny, nasty pollinator that is responsible for every yummy chocolate treat you chew. And we find out if your fancy, overpriced chocolate is really anything special.

Sources:

https://www.vosgeschocolate.com/blogs/vosges-haut-chocolat-blog/chocolate-gifts-for-every-star-sign-a-zodiac-gift-guide

https://worldwidechocolate.com/magazine/what-type-of-chocolate-matches-your-zodiac-sign/

https://www.chocolatescorecard.com/

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In this bonus episode, we continue our conversation from Plants, Pain, and Prozac and get into gardening with ADHD. We look at how the ADHD brain functions and why this can be a help and hinderance once we get outdoors.

Check us out on all our platforms for some bonus Try Weed videos!

Instagram: @plant.sluts.pod

TikTok: @plant.sluts

YouTube: @PlantSlutsPod

If you've read this far, we'd love a rating & quick review. Help this messy garden grow!

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In this episode Jonathan and Jeannette talk about gardening with chronic pain, stress and depression. After the trauma dump it gets optimistic with some tips on how to make it less painful and we go over studies that suggest it may even be helping our terrible moods. But first they share their garden status updates (complaints), Jeannette proposes a new segment and Jonathan spills the tea on the new Community Garden gestapo. 

Sources:

• https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9389296/
• https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3372556/
• https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-025-13885-5
• https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9564959/
• https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-025-13885-5
• https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2023/06/18/1182961315/back-pain-gardening-relief-safe

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Is planting by the moon backed by science, or just a superstition that appeals to the chronically online green witch? Jonathan and Jeannette also dive deep into biodynamic farming and discover what signs our favorite plants are. But first we give you an update on our thriving (sarcasm) gardens and Jonathan tries hosta shoots! Will they make his pee smell? Jonathan also shares garden tea with two stories on how openly racist this community can be (TW: mentions of racism and sexual assault). For best results, please listen to this episode during the waning crescent moon, thanks.

Please subscribe, follow, and rate wherever you listen! Share with your most superstitious friends!

Also, we had some technical difficulties that caused the audio to be of lesser quality than what you've come to expect from Plant Sluts, North America’s #1 gardening podcast. We have corrected the issue for future episodes.

Sources:

• https://www.npr.org/2012/03/02/147810046/decoding-the-allure-of-the-almanac
• https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10004791/
• https://extension.illinois.edu/blogs/garden-scoop/2022-04-16-lunar-influence-gardening
• https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10004791/

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Watch the video here: https://youtu.be/JqhkIucMroQ

Jeannette has finally made it to Montreal! To celebrate the reunion, we took the cameras out to the greenhouse for a very special, very chaotic mini-episode.

We hit up the Boutique at the world-famous Montreal Botanical Garden and brought back a haul of bizarre, fancy, and fascinating botanical delicacies to taste test on camera. We are talking sweet Tulip Jelly, briny Fiddleheads, raw Spruce Tips, and we washed it all down with Forest Amaretto mixed with Spruce-flavored Soda.

Some were absolutely delicious, and some... well, you'll just have to watch our faces. Grab a snack, pull up a chair, and join us under the glass!

🔔 Don't forget to like, subscribe, and share this with your favorite plant enabler!

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Jeannette visits Jonathan in Montreal and they get their fill on leafy greens in their winter coats. Jeannette commits the ultimate faux pas while not understanding what that means since she doesn't speak French. Another round of F*ck, Marry, Kill (nut edition)! We get into hazelnuts and the plant's ultimate reproductive power play, while discovering their global impact and why one chocolate spread controls the world’s hazelnuts. We also look into why Oregon calls it their state nut and what they used to call their state nut. Finally, the sluts learn about Celtic Tree Astrology and why Jeannette will probably never be happy.

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Sources

https://oregonhazelnuts.org/about/

https://www.tytyga.com/History-of-the-Filbert-(Hazelnut)-Tree-a/383.htm

https://www.statesmanjournal.com/story/news/local/oregon/2023/11/24/why-does-the-oregon-state-nut-have-two-different-names/71596462007/

https://www.npr.org/sections/thesalt/2014/09/16/347749070/thanks-to-nutella-the-world-needs-more-hazelnut

https://thedruidsgarden.com/2021/03/07/sacred-trees-in-the-americas-american-hazel-corylus-americana-magic-ecology-and-sacred-uses/

Find your Celtic Tree Sign: https://www.treecouncil.ie/celtic-tree-astrology

https://tree2mydoor.com/pages/information-trees-celtic-tree-calendar

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We continue digging into our bag of trail mix and explore the world of the flexisexual apricot. But first Jonathan and Jeannette update us on their gardens and share their stone fruit “zodiac” placements. We go over the cyanide wellness craze apricots were at the pit of in the 70s and find a surprising US Marine apricot superstition.

Video available on YouTube and Spotify!

Watch Jonathan drink a refreshing glass of garden debris! You can identify yellow woodsorrel and see how the lemonade is made by clicking on the link to either our YouTube or Spotify channels.

Watch the video version on YouTube: https://youtu.be/O8lsPtM4s4A

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