Plant Sluts – Details, episodes & analysis

Welcome to the very first episode of Plant Sluts! Meet your hosts Jonathan and Jeannette as they dig into how a global pandemic finally cleared the community garden waitlist (silver linings, folks), why Jeannette swears a rosemary cutting got her a house (and we're not questioning it), and whether lemon balm can actually treat depression and HIV.

Plus: we spill the tea at the unexpected intersection of Grindr hookups and heirloom tomato swaps. You’ll laugh, you’ll learn, you’ll wonder why your garden’s never been this spicy.

Jeannette has a vendetta against a tree. Meanwhile, Jonathan unearths a painful truth: sometimes slugs aren’t just destroying your hostas… they’re also wrecking your relationship. This week’s plant spotlight is Bloodroot - a spring beauty with a dark side, including a shady stint as a darling of the anti-vaxx crowd. Who knew this innocent woodland bloom had so much baggage?

Email us with your Garden Tea at plantslutspod@gmail.com! Instagram Tiktok

Find out more at https://plant-sluts.pinecast.co

Roses are red, but the history is unsurprisingly gay. Jeannette contemplates opening up her marriage (mainly to get out of doing dishes), while Jonathan reveals that not all thorns are created equal - every rose just has its prickle.

We dig up the potentially queer-coded roots of Salem’s garden history, including Elizabeth Lord and Edith Schryver: pioneering women in landscape architecture... or just very good friends? Plus: wartime rose protection tactics, botanical sex sprays gone wrong, and the lingering haunt of rose energy in the bedroom.

Sources: 🌹 Portland Parks – International Rose Test Garden 🌿 The Lord & Schryver Conservancy

Find out more at https://plant-sluts.pinecast.co

Jeannette heads to agricultural bootcamp, Jonathan drags GMO propaganda, and a chewed-up bird sparks a hawk-related identity crisis. Meanwhile, primrose struts onto the scene kinky, poly, and radiating pure femme energy.

Note: the book on botany referred to is in fact 'A Gardeners Guide to Botany'.

Find out more at https://plant-sluts.pinecast.co

We relax with lavender, and talk about the different types and tips on growing your own. A new segment debuts! Fuck, Marry, Kill: Plant Edition. Take a peek at the connections between lavender, Jonathan and Jeannette’s astro birth charts.

Find out more at https://plant-sluts.pinecast.co

In this episode Jonathan talks about the origins of the mulberry nursery rhyme and Jeannette finds out if it's a bush or a tree... Jonathan's pretty beans are a hit at happy hour and we read some devastating Garden Tea.

Find out more at https://plant-sluts.pinecast.co

Our latest episode kicks off Spooky season and includes an uncomfortable conversation with an arborist. Jonathan brags about his nonna's smuggled plums from the old country. We read terrifying Garden Tea sent in by a listener and pronounce all the medicinal compounds in American Skullcap perfectly on the first try ☠️

Correction: Jonathan said cinquefoil in reference to bunch berry (cornus canadensis) but he meant quatre-temp. Mes excuses les plus sincères.

Visit Astro.com for your free natal chart.

Information from this episode comes from: https://www.gaiaherbs.com/blogs/seeds-of-knowledge/american-chinese-skullcap-what-s-the-difference https://www.gaiaherbs.com/blogs/herbs/american-skullcap

Find out more at https://plant-sluts.pinecast.co

Jonathan complains about tiny melons and Jeannette has to decide which plant can fulfill her needs in F-M-K Plant Edition. We explore Witch Hazel and where it got its demonic name. Jeannette reveals one of her vintage new age books and we continue to personify plants with the zodiac.

Find out more at https://plant-sluts.pinecast.co

In this episode we get spooky as Jonathan plots garden revenge on his ex, we whisper to our dearly departed plants via an online Ouija Board, and divine the mysteries of the dormant season with tarot. Plus, we spotlight pumpkin-- the berry you've probably never eaten. Jeannette digs into the haunted history of the jack-o-lantern (even if carving one still kinda sucks).

Sources:

Find out more at https://plant-sluts.pinecast.co

In this episode we learn about Jonathan’s secret life as an oil baron. Jeannette will leave the leaves, so everyone please just shut up about it. We find a new community garden character trope and ask big questions like: are you a Thanksgiving marshmallow family?

In our plant spotlight we talk about the original cranberry sauce and how the American colonists capitalized on indigenous knowledge and slavery to create their yummy cranberry desserts. We explain why cranberries need our vibrators and ask, “Did our favorite 90s HBO series cause the downfall of US wetlands?” Listen 'til the end for Jeannette’s famous cranberry sauce recipe!

We’ll be going dormant for the winter but keep subscribed for Winter Cuttings!

If you have any Garden Tea, send us an email to plantslutspod@gmail.com

See you in February!

Jeannette’s sources for her cranberry dissertation:

**

• https://www.npr.org/2006/11/23/6529449/a-cranberry-story-from-the-home-of-the-pilgrims

• https://westernfinancialgroup.ca/Cranberries-Grown-Harvested

• The Larry Meiller Show from Wisconsin Public Radio 10/21/25

• https://www.apsnet.org/edcenter/apsnetfeatures/Pages/Cranberries.aspx

• https://blog.library.si.edu/blog/2017/11/14/native-fruit-cranberry-seasons/

• https://foodprint.org/blog/cranberries-bogged-down-in-water-and-pollution/

• https://horticulture.wisc.edu/wp-content/uploads/sites/20/2014/04/Cranberry-cold-hardiness1.pdf

• https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/foods/cranberries

• https://publications.gc.ca/collections/collection_2009/agr/A118-10-6-2008E.pdf

• https://www.ars.usda.gov/pacific-west-area/logan-ut/pollinating-insect-biology-management-systematics-research/docs/cranberries/#:~:text=To%20release%20pollen%2C%20they%20either,legs%20(e.g.%20Megachile%20and%20Osmia)

• https://plentifulearth.com/magickal-correspondences-of-cranberries/

• https://www.nytimes.com/1973/10/21/archives/the-cranberrry-ruby-of-the-barrens-new-picking-method-taken-on-a.html

**